ENOUGH IS ENOUGH | THE WARNING SIGNS

[@portianoelle9474]

Pausing the video to say I’m glad you decided to talk about this. So many of us have had experiences like this and we need to be open with others about the red flags so they can avoid this type of pain. I wish my younger self had a video like this to watch. It may have saved me a lot of trauma and heartbreak.

[@Brix33333]

Exactly! The vulnerability of other women was the key to helping me out of my abusive relationship. The seclusion and isolation of being in the abusive relationship was a big part of why I stayed so long, especially feeling like no one understood. Hearing women speak out about their experiences helps other women, so grateful for the women who share.

[@kcat200]

So true, and so well said.

[@refugeofthoughts8870]

I agree. I went and have gone through hell. I will teach my kids to know the signs because no one told me anything. I’m sorry you had to deal with it too.

[@dedest6094]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/aqixlmpvh7J4i7c kzbin.info9S7lI_mZKAk?feature=share k

[@dc3428]

Isolation and shame. As women we are shamed for our failed relationships or sexual history.

[@ginainspades8027]

Went on one date with a dude who wouldn’t let me order for myself. That was a red flag. Never saw him again. Trust those instincts.

[@sandyj7917]

56 years to say Enough, the 49 year he said just put a gun to your head, nobody will miss you. That was enough of the mental and physical abuse, two wonderful daughters that was the blessing. There was warning signs, before, after marriage, then I lost me. I wanted to be wanted and gave myself excuses. I’m 77 living with my daughter in a mother in law suite, peacefully. It might be different times, but the subject still is out there. I had every opportunity but self esteem. Good girl for putting it out there.

[@katrinaevans7872]

God God bless You Sandy Xxx

[@lindahind2205]

Sandy J: Good for you for being strong and finally escaping! Some women can never leave, but you found the courage to do so. I so admire you. A wonderful chance to make the life you want. Stay well and have fun!🥰

[@cocoakid9976]

Good for you Sandy. I'm glad to hear that you are safe and have peace.

[@houndstooth89]

I'm proud of you. It's never too late. Never.

[@ondayslikethis7948]

Be blessed and enjoy every day of your peaceful life.

[@mikki3961]

I cannot stress this enough. If he puts his hands on you once, you must get out of that relationship. ONCE. It escalates.

[@danielleleclair1125]

Abuse comes in many different forms, not just physical.

[@gigiamharic468]

@@danielleleclair1125 Not just physical abuse but verbal abuse and even neglect.

[@lestranged]

I feel like the first time is a test to see how much you will tolerate or forgive.

[@missdemeanor3524]

Gotta disagree about the 'if he puts his hands on you once, he'll do it again' mentality - popular as that is for women to repeat. A man or a woman can decide to get professional help for their violent temper, and, with a lot of commitment and skill, it can be mastered and ultimately stopped. My opinion is based on my experience growing up in with a physically violent father was that violence was normal. While I certainly didn't like being on the receiving end of it, it wasn't abuse in my mind. I was violent too. Of course, my future adult relationships with men were various degrees and frequency of mutual violence. Eventually, I went to therapy because life just got too hard. Long story short, my partner went too. We both healed. He hasn't put his hands on me in over 20 years, nor I him. He wanted to change. I wanted to change. Have I felt like being violent since then? No. Have I felt extremely angry with him? Most definitely. But violence is not present in either of us, and never will be. You may think I'm stupid or naive. That's fine. My purpose in writing was to convey to anyone who wants to change that they should go for it! It wont be easy or cheap, but ceasing to be a victim and an abuser is entirely possible.

[@gigiamharic468]

@@missdemeanor3524 Good for you! But have you transferred that energy into another form of abuse?!

[@Momma_AL]

Don’t believe when he apologizes and don’t believe when he says he’s going to change. 💯

[@theresahenderson3534]

Yes, a man is a grown up acting like a fool.

[@elisabethm9655]

A man who wants to change will summon the courage get the professional help he needs to work on himself for himself and by himself. A relationship is the LAST thing he needs - courage to face his demon is the first.

[@refugeofthoughts8870]

Agree!

[@dedest6094]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/aqixlmpvh7J4i7c kzbin.info9S7lI_mZKAk?feature=share .

[@Kerkorea]

So true

[@rsmith1820]

"A wise woman wishes to be no one’s enemy; a wise woman refuses to be anyone’s victim." ~ Dr. Maya Angelou And you Karen, are wise as well as beautiful

[@fashionandluxury101]

Amen

[@marlinejenkins8576]

Sending blessings, from Canada, Ms. Smith, wise women rises.🦋 And so I rise. (Maya Angelou.)🌻 A rose is still a rose. (Aretha Franklin) 🌹 Sincerely, Marline Jenkins

[@kimberlyperrotis8962]

I also got trapped in an abusive relationship, he ended up going to prison for it. Everyone says “why didn’t you just leave?”, not realizing they seize your phones, car keys, and won’t let you out your door. He moved into my house against my will, then kept me on 24-hour surveillance, not even letting me use a public restroom when we were out. It took years to finish the legal case and everything, testifying was the most frightening thing I ever did. When the DA investigated, more than 10 women were found that he did the same thing to, but who didn’t go to the police. Their testimony was damning, he even carved his name into one of their breasts with a knife!. Please, be brave, go to the police! It’s true they ignored me the first four times, but eventually they arrested him.

[@lindahind2205]

Kimberly Perrotis: So so sorry for all your pain. You must be an amazingly courageous and strong woman! So glad you escaped and wishing you all the best as you move into a wonderful new life. Stay well💕

[@malinored]

I was in the same situation . I went through the whole court process and he went to prison. I hate when people say why didn’t you just leave. In a serious abusive relationship you can’t leave without protection and all the help you are told you will get are often not there . I never though that would happen to me as I am a strong self confident woman, but it did . It can happen to anyone .

[@tarreemhacaruso2687]

Hugs love ❤️ light to you.

[@tamarareid6170]

exactly :( which is one of the reasons why I never tell anyone about my experience because people always ask me why i didn't leave him like I wanted to stay which is EXTREMELY triggering so I just choose to not say it to anybody :'(

[@lilylily8711]

What a story to tell and how courageous of you to open up. I had a most funny, beautiful friend from Spain who was taken by a similar beast. I thank God you are safe and telling us your story.

[@lindahind2205]

Oh, Karen, so sorry this happened to you (or anyone else). No wonder you look at Michael with such light and love...and he looks back the same way. Stay well you sweet woman!

[@katgibbs]

This has me crying. I was previously in a relationship that was emotionally abusive. Took me 3 years to get out and snap to it. Two years later (and a lot of therapy later), I look at my (new) current partner with so much light and love. I’m glad Karen has that too. You wonder why you ever wasted time with someone horrid when there is someone out there who is so EASY to be with ❤️✨

[@cultivatingwellness4028]

@@katgibbs Thank God 🌿🌿💚

[@ninawestlake5005]

Judging from the comments, lots of women have been there. And so has this woman making this comment. Thanks, Karen.

[@deelot1]

"Self-esteem is self-defence" - it's important to value your own feelings and needs, especially when there are early signs of a toxic relationship. If the partner refuses to value your own feelings and needs directly or indirectly then get out!

[@dedest6094]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/aqixlmpvh7J4i7c kzbin.info9S7lI_mZKAk?feature=share .

[@dianeleininger704]

Karen, this video is perhaps the most important one you have done. Thank you.

[@KarenBritChick]

Thank you for saying this

[@GeertjeJ651]

I ended a relationship like that 30 years ago and have been with the most wonderful man in the world for over 20 years. I still have so much anxiety over certain things all these years later. If I’m out having fun thrifting or with my kids or grandchildren I still think I need to hurry home. My husband knows this and always tells me to ‘have fun’ before I go out. It affects the rest of your life. You could have been telling my story. Thanks for that Karen. It’s nice to know I and others like me are not alone.

[@fashionandluxury101]

So happy you found your Prince

[@amde8554]

A girl from my high school was murdered by her bf in her twenties, what was so tragic is her mother was supposed to move her out the following weekend. This stuff is so important to talk about.

[@arlenewitt248]

The most dangerous time in the relationship is when he knows he is losing you or he thinks he is losing you, so don’t put out warning signs or warning flags. JUST LEAVE and then never, ever meet him alone, just to talk. In fact, don’t meet him. Some one who has abused you is not entitled to courtesy or an explanation. He knows why already. Get out of Dodge and not to a place where he can track you. Guys who will take it to the next level and permanently maim or kill do not have red noses you can identify them by.

[@patcoleman8038]

Thank you speaking your truth! I was a in an abusive marriage for 13 years with three children. I thought I couldn’t leave. I finally woke up and left, that was 21 years ago. Now, my life is most beautiful. THANK YOU FOR SHARING!!

[@tashzander2088]

I am convinced that you were sent to save someone somewhere. That is why you had such a strong conviction. Thank you Karen.

[@lennyloves4518]

This was me at 19-20 yrs old in a relationship. So much of this was familiar and resonated with me. After I was done with that relationship, I told myself that I would NEVER put up with that again and I never did. I just wish I had known then, what I know now.❤️

[@hannahmajeni1674]

Thank you for sharing, as a woman born and living in Africa i have seen how our women are being abused and mistreated starting from our moms and feeling so helpless with no way out as most depend fully on the husbands. Grew up so scared and put off marriage. I’m glad you made this video ❤️❤️

[@dedest6094]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/aqixlmpvh7J4i7c kzbin.info9S7lI_mZKAk?feature=share ..

[@lindaadams1008]

Most people like that are narcissist, and when you encounter them, run and don't look back.

[@abigailh7715]

@@embo_5787 lol the standard blame term for everyone's ex 🙄

[@hoops8534]

@@embo_5787 I taught kids about narcissism before they started high school. The more people keep talking about it, the better.

[@dedest6094]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/aqixlmpvh7J4i7c kzbin.info9S7lI_mZKAk?feature=share .

[@annemarie6124]

many mental health professionals around here

[@indiabilly]

Hands round the throat is the biggest red flag of all- most people that end up killing their partner do this first- if it happens once get out, he’s broken beyond repair xx

[@WhatIsHasValue]

This happened to me... It took me a couple months to get out of that relationship... He murdered his next girlfriend and went to prison. It took me a long time to realize that the quiet voice of intuition is SPOT ON. LISTEN👁💗

[@indiabilly]

@@WhatIsHasValue so glad you got free 💕xxx

[@TheLoveweaver]

TRUTH! I left the next day! Our 5yr relationship ended that night. I slept on the couch that night with a kitchen knife under my pillow, woke the next morning, packed my stuff and went home to my parents.

[@indiabilly]

@@TheLoveweaver that’s so strong- happy you are free xxx

[@Pri910903]

Omg! So glad you made it out! Just reinforces the fact to always trust your gut!

[@selenaj713]

Yes as a British heritage Caribbean woman I can confirm their is a cultural issue with DV against women.... O my I forgot that feeling you were describing it’s walking on eggshells. I remember this state of mind.

[@TannenBaumFreak]

I grew up with a father like that ... i needed years to find myself. It's so important to get this message out

[@dapsolita]

I always marvel at how things unfold. I found your channel initially because I love fashion and your soulful approach to it. Especially evident in your what people are wearing in New York series. When I started watching, I was in the process of escaping domestic abuse. 22 years of a horrible marriage. Your videos have helped me reintroduce myself to myself. Now I understand fully why. Thanks for this video. Signed: a permanent subscriber 😘💕

[@bernitajenkins3180]

👏👍

[@catherineguy6673]

Excellent my sister. U saved a life today...🙏

[@janarthanivijayanathan3370]

Karen thanks for being so braving it sharing this. I once had an ex telling me that no one will ever love me if it wasn’t for him! So I decided I rather Love/ respect myself than to have the toxic kinda love by any man. To this day I kept that promise to myself. Psychological abuse is like piercing a needle through a banana coz you don’t notice till the damage is done. But never too late to get out from it. ♥️

[@haleyvanni4743]

I was in high school 9th grade, so young so naive. This was him to a T. He once looked me in the eye and said "no one will ever love you like I love you" and I said through tears "if this is love I don't want anything to do with love" 2 long horrible years later I got out and never looked back.

[@BrittanyAJordan]

I’m glad you spoke about this. I had a similar relationship when I was 18, and I missed all the signs. I wish I could have told my younger self that I was worth so much more , and this type of behaviour is not acceptable.

[@tania0070]

Thanks for sharing your story!My God!! I can relate 1000%! Didn't want me to wear heels, no shorts, no short skirts, no sunglasses (had to see where my eyes were looking), accusing me of flirting, looking at guys cycling while we were driving, not picking up his calls in time, not responding to texts quick enough ... the guy just got progressively worse. Became physical and I left. Satan incarnated!! Off topic, but your hair is beautiful.

[@mimiandthemuse]

Hello Karen, once again, one of your truest videos to date. The subject is too important to avoid it. Thank you for opening up about it because too many of us have had similar experiences and some of us are still trapped in the cycle of abuse and violence. I was married to someone exactly like that for 2 1/2 years. But luckily, I freed myself. The biggest mistake was having had a child with him. The custody battles were brutal for 3 years and he finally took my child away from me. He had just finished his Doctor's degree and I was an Art student . He had the money for an excellent lawyer and together they made it look like I couldn't be a good mother because I was a "Crazy Artist" and he was a Doctor and was a more "decent normal person" It stuck even though I never did anything reproachable. That was my life in my early 20's. I have met other abusive men but I could see them coming a mile away. Gave them no chance.

[@deborahsparks2199]

As someone that's been in a similar situation believe everything she said, he will never change but YOU can change by leaving and starting over: BLESS YOURSELF!

[@dedest6094]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/aqixlmpvh7J4i7c kzbin.info9S7lI_mZKAk?feature=share .

[@lightuponlight6727]

Thanks Karen, It's sooo wild. This topic is being talked about everywhere. The dynamic btw the empath and narcissist, toxic abuse, looking at early signs. awareness is key.....to getting away from these situations....quickly. I'm so sick of hearing these stories of women turning up stabbed, shot, bodies thrown in dumpsters, found in the trunk of cars. Only to find out it was the boyfriend or the husband. These people are ill and the controlling, possessive behavior they show is NOT love. ...and can lead to tragic outcomes.

[@bernitajenkins3180]

The trouble is, if he's a pysycopath/sociopath, he's very charming and loving at first. And, they are expert liars. In my case, it was a full year, before there were signs. His mother is extremely wealthy and would just pay for the best lawyers. The woman after me was stabbed, so he was finally incarcerated...

[@dedest6094]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/aqixlmpvh7J4i7c kzbin.info9S7lI_mZKAk?feature=share .

[@bethsharma4766]

Also this pandemic has not helped. People in these situations who may have had some peace during the day when he or she was at work now have them at home 24/7.

[@xxkittymeowxx8093]

It's called lovebombing when it's all perfect on the beginning, then it takes a turn for the worse.Abusive, control ing nasty, cheating.

[@ThePatriciaPatrick]

Oh my goodness I went through a similar situation. He always accused me of looking at other guys anytime we went out. Most often we would return from our outing arguing in the car the entire time. He even accused me of admiring male musicians singing on tv and we will legit argue about it. Like you Karen, it was so serious I couldn’t move my head when we went out because I didn’t want my evening ending in an argument. At a point I felt this guy had more control over me than my father did. I was so scared of him. Come to find out he was the one cheating. They are always the ones cheating. And my mum always said to me, whenever a guy continuously accuses you of cheating, it means he is the one doing so, therefore thinks everyone is doing same. I also wish I knew all this when I was much younger. Thanks for sharing your story.

[@Mel_leit]

I grew up in a household like this, experienced it in my own relationship in high school. I just want to say that real love exists, that there are lots of really good men/women out there and there is hope!! Thanks for this important video, Karen!!

[@ayr156]

Thank you. I thought the possesviness was flattering in the beginning. The gaslighting was subtle. But then the slap while I was driving could not be ignored or explained away. If they do it once it will happen again. So grateful I got out before it did. You have helped a lot of people today. ❤

[@e.machocolat775]

wow Karen this was something my husband and i were talking about literally an hour before i turned your vlog on. we were in our kitchen when the news said another woman was killed_we live in france. my eyes filled with tears. this happens too often and especially in a time like now with covid and the lost of jobs, but its not just the pandemic the abusement of women has been going on for years /centuries and its horrible, This vlog was so important. thank you, i too know about it first hand and pray everyday for women who are in this vicious circle to find help.people will say "she should just leave" but if you've ever been in it you feel really useless it is hard when you feel you have nowhere to go but it can be done, make a plan and LEAVE.

[@Chelsealuvsnacatamales]

This video was definitely needed and wish it was around before I went through the exact situation with my ex, because it left unseen scares. Ladies and young ladies please listen because what she stated is true; the person is different but they follow the same instruction manual of abuse. You can’t change them so don’t sacrifice your life trying to .💜💜💜

[@dedest6094]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/aqixlmpvh7J4i7c kzbin.info9S7lI_mZKAk?feature=share .

[@avgonyma1]

Thank you. Yes, it always happens behind closed doors. They know exactly that it's not right - or they would be doing it out in the open.

[@NicolePalmervlogs]

This topic needs to be taught to people at an early age. I’m thinking in high school It should be a course we all have to take because not all parents are able to teach their kids properly even if they mean well.

[@lea-andromeda-sol2333]

Yes, exactly.

[@IAMABUNDANT888]

So true. I would probably want to teach it even earlier because there are girls in high school experiencing situations like this.

[@Gena777-r95]

Absolutely!! Teach your children these lessons.

[@hourglas39]

Excellent Video! ❤ So glad you got out of the relationship. My Ex boyfriend from years ago showed his true colors once we got together, he use to belittle me all the time with the "whispers" by telling me what to wear, etc etc until one day I snatched and toss him to the curb! Later on I had found out that he had been cheating with other women. No unhealthy relationships for me, I have learned its better to be alone then miserable with someone who doesn't care about you.

[@susanwilson3091]

Wow , does this bring back memories I have hid away for years. Abuse is terrible and I am so glad you got away from it. Glad I got away from it too.

[@averyj5446]

you are a survivor, unfortunately many are not that lucky to realise in time to get out.

[@milaa.ballentine4260]

Thanks for sharing, Karen. You're right; they don't change. If you leave an abusive partner and make the mistake to come back to try and work on the relationship after they say they'll change, you'll be lucky to make it out alive.

[@ModelKatSmith]

As a former couples therapist, I commend you for sharing your story to help others. Great advice and you are the perfect person to communicate why it is important to move on and find real love. Bless you.

[@jackiejenner446]

I was in an abusive relationship/ marriage for 27 years before enough was enough. I have been with my 2nd husband 18 years 17 years married and he is the love of my life and makes me feel so special. Don't settle for 2nd best please know your worth x

[@pearlhartney9]

So glad you found true love Jackie! As a lot of people end up in a bad cycle.

[@jackiejenner446]

@@pearlhartney9 thank you, I did , looking back I don't know how I survived those years and brought up two beautiful children, but I did and I am truly blessed. We should never give up, I am so pleased Karen did this if it saves one person it's worth it x

[@elenamassa5932]

Karen, I watched this video a year ago when I was still in an abusive relationship. I felt so shocked that it looked like you were talking about my story, every single behavior, the way you say you were scared to look left or right to avoid him saying you were looking someone else.. After years now I finally had the chance to go away and I’m starting to bring my life back again.. and is hard even to overcome the fear of the fact that he won’t give up of being left.. But I think that this video was the first step for me to admit it was all wrong and have the courage to be Free again.. so really thank you for this.. ❤from Italy❤

[@lissettep1219]

I was in a physically abusive relationship with my daughters father and I definitely went through all those situations that you spoke about.. I haven’t been with him for 6 years and I’m still healing emotionally.. thank you so much for talking about this ❤️

[@ogui523]

I did lived in an abusive relationship with my ex for 25 year's! He was an alcoholic. My "addiction" made me stay. Finally, left, after he attack me physically. Had my hip replacement surgery. Met the people who helped me to leave him. I do understand what you went through. Just like you. Controlling everything. Now, I don't want to see him. My low self-esteem was very depressing. Not Anymore! Don't let anyone to hurt you! He did the same to Me!! Had brusses in my body!! Look for Help!! Otherwise you will be in danger. Take care. Thank you for talking about that. Is very important to get Help!! Be Strong!! You are a wonderful woman! Take care of yourself!! I'm sorry you went through so much pain 😞 . They are dangerous Psicopats, Narcissist! Sick people!!

[@sonyaearly]

I’m sorry you went through this. I unfortunately watched my mother go through the same thing as a pre-teen. It was devastating. It took some time but she too was able to walk away. It taught me as a young girl what not to put up with. However, on the flip side I was (until I met my now husband) quick to walk away from ANY guy who did ANYTHING. I mean if he sneezed wrong I was out. The trauma as a child taught me what I didn’t want but it also made me blind to what a real relationship could be like.

[@dedest6094]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/aqixlmpvh7J4i7c kzbin.info9S7lI_mZKAk?feature=share ...

[@md8388]

I relate to this so much. I hope that one day my mom can walk away too.

[@sonyaearly]

@@md8388 praying for you both.

[@ll9212]

@Sonya Early My Exact Experience...Pushing good men away & not even wanting to get married until the last couple of years💜God Bless Us All💙💜💙

[@karthompson1280]

@sonya early. Your story resonates with me. My mom was badly abused by my father and when I got married I had the great wall of China built around me. The man I married is kind and sweet and I could not appreciate it. I was on alert, I was prepared to pounce. I was expecting the same kind of abuse my mother endured. This affected my relationship so badly. 20 years into my marriage in the back of my mind I still expect him to do something bad to me and even though he’s been only kind and sweet to me, the trauma of what my mother endured and my witness to it has ruined a part of me forever I think.

[@terryhartman6369]

I'm glad you made this KZbin video. I had a terribly abusive marriage some years ago, left me deeply scarred. Fortunately I've been with a lovely man who's my best friend now for the last 26 years. It took me 10 years to get out of that bad relationship. Hopefully anyone going through this realises that now and doesn't waste all that time. Bravo Karen!

[@aishamosekaelebe4380]

Thank you Karen for sharing your story. I can definitely relate I have been in an abusive relationship for 19 years. It almost break me but God saved me. I left in 2019 with my 2 kids and never looked back. I can say that I am happy now 😊🙏🏾

[@teresadunne2020]

Very shocked listening to this.. So frightening to think he was choking you.... Thank god you got out in one piece. No one should have to go through that.

[@rubit5845]

Karen, I’m glad you did this video. Fashion and home decor are fun, but like you said, many women are in abusive relationships. Hearing this from an ‘ influencer’ they admire and respect could be the thing that helps them avoid or get out of an abusive relationship. I grew up with abusive family members. As an adult, I worked in a domestic violence center because of what I saw and experienced as a child and adolescent. Thank you for using your platform to reach out and help other women. Brava! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@taraz2779]

Love this, using your platform for good! I was married to a narcissist, different MO, but all about breaking you down and undermining your self esteem. I know you helped some people today. Love your channel and artistry. A Canadian fan!

[@lesley1484]

I could tell by your mannerisms at the beginning of the video that this was going to be VERY difficult to discuss. Thank you for being candid and telling your story. I hope it helps someone.

[@temporarilyblond]

OMG you just described my first relationship when I was in Uni. I let it last for 7 years 😱, but fortunately I got out of it and turned out stronger, never letting anyone step on me ever again.

[@keishanb85]

Thank you Karen! You don't know how much you've helped people by your sharing. You give strength to those who need it. I love that women are sharing their experiences more. I am currently transitioning out of a toxic situation. Hearing where you've been and seeing where you are now is encouraging.

[@yvetteanderson5504]

In my early 20’s I was in a relationship with an abuser. He grabbed me by my arms ONCE. That was enough for me to say BYE BYE.

[@shoogasweet5847]

I've been there too. I didn't know my value, or my worth. Glad we made it out and have gained our healing. We can use it to empower others, that they don't have to stay and to recognize the signs of an abuser and to recognize our worth🙏🙌

[@AuntyM66]

Wow Karen thanks sharing such a personal experience. This will be good , especially for women in controlling relationships. It is so easy to get sucked into a relationship by Narcissist and wife beaters. Eastern Caribbean people do believe in dream interpretation. Mother's always know when something not right.

[@rosiekitties]

sounds just like my husband exactly ...we would be in a checkout line he would say you were looking at that guy i said of course he is in front of me... crazy i could write a book ...he passed in 2013 ive have no interest in any kind of relationship since then ..Karen.. everything you say i have lived thru it is terrible...28 yrs...

[@walksthroughlife900]

Oh, I am really sorry this happened to you.

[@crystalc6358]

Appreciate you sharing your story. I can relate. We have to look at abuse as not only physical but..emotional and/or mental (verbal). The deflection, gaslighting and manipulation can drive you to loneliness & insanity. Abusers can be charming.

[@janetdiaz8916]

...as long as you blame yourself and he blames you, then you are stuck with him. Abusive men look for women who carry a load of shame and guilt. It waves to the wrong people like a flag.

[@bernitajenkins3180]

I had no shame or guilt, just low self-esteem

[@dedest6094]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/aqixlmpvh7J4i7c kzbin.info9S7lI_mZKAk?feature=share.

[@michaelcoles7588]

Bernita ditto it happens far more than people know.

[@libradc]

Oftentimes the "abuser" has lack of self esteem. In turn they used their jealousy to play on the victim. I'm glad you are sharing to help others.

[@deloiredev4592]

Thank you for your honesty. I merried with 18 and I´ve almost experienced what you have gone through. The whispers, I started to dress more modest. We stopped going out and he started locking me in. But when he hit me (he "only" did it once, I eventually lost it. I called the police and left him for good.I am glad you bevame the person you are today and you met Michael.

[@lyndoraburroughs-robinson5663]

Thank you Karen for speaking about this . You would be surprised to know that many Gay Men are abused or in abusive relationship also. My very good friend who is also my hairstylist was also abused by his SO. Your stories are exactly the same 😪💯❤✌🏽🙏🏽

[@aclementine9928]

Yes I've heard about this. Karamo Brown talked about this in his conversation with Russel Brand.

[@Momma_AL]

There are also straight men abused by their wives and girlfriends.

[@lyndoraburroughs-robinson5663]

@@aclementine9928 Right, this has happened to a lot of people who are Beautiful, trusting and loving.

[@jhwwebster7273]

One of the most dangerous domestic abuse situations for police to enter into is between two male partners who can really beat the crap out of each other.

[@dedest6094]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/aqixlmpvh7J4i7c kzbin.info9S7lI_mZKAk?feature=share .

[@AmberSunny1]

Coming from experience, emotional abuse is bad too. I know now that I will never be in an abusive relationship again.

[@denaj6711]

This is so important for girls to hear! These kinda guys are out there and they are so smooth and flattering at the beginning, and they know who to target. I had one, and when he threw a wood jewelry box at my head that was my moment of no return. I was able to get out even though he made it so so difficult. Run for the hills NOW if any of this video speaks to your situation. Most girls won't fall for it again because if they detect it they get physically ill from the signs...peace.

[@gigiamharic468]

You’re free now. Speaking about this frees you. Keep moving!

[@nnikkij7777]

I consider myself to be a very strong woman and I'm looked at as such by all of the people around me. I'm guilty not assuming that these types of things don't happen to strong women, and that's not true. It became real for me when I was involved with a guy who liked to choke and hit me. I left him immediately and never looked back. I'm so glad that you realized that you deserved better and you walked away. There are so many women that didn't have that opportunity or they're involved with that person right now. May God bless us all. The wounds are deep and even though this was more than 15 years ago I still remember the pain and confusion... My heart goes out to all of the people that have ever experienced any type of abuse. No one deserves to be treated that way... Thank you so much for sharing. ❤️ 💜

[@luamloves4787]

Yes I agree, there are always warning signs I think we choose to ignore them for one reason or another. I have been in a terribly abusive relationship and after I escaped (Literally) I couldn't understand what an earth I had been doing for that long amount of time and why I didn't take notice of those warnings and get out earlier. Well done for talking about it.🙏🏽

[@NoraDesmond897]

Thank you for sharing this story. There are many women who are going through this or have gone through this. Many of us know of these woman. The saddest part is that their self esteem has been beaten down to where they believe they can't get out.

[@onlychimerically]

HAIR!!!! i know this video is not about hair at all, and i admire your bravery here, but i just have to marvel at the beauty !!

[@refugeofthoughts8870]

Thank you for telling your story. I was only 15 when I met my first husband and he was in his late 40s. No one taught me anything. I went through hell, lost my kids, and I still live in fear daily. No one deserves to go through this. I’m happy you got out. Your story will help someone. I wish I had seen something like this when I was a kid.

[@eileenmurray4635]

Thank you. You are so right,whispers first,red flags. I didn't respond to protect myself and married. After 21 years,I'm freeing myself now.

[@AB-sy3cg]

Thank you for sharing this Karen..you are brave and wise..been through similar situation..I was being totally gaslighted by an insecure narcissist..once we know better we can do better..we deserve better!

[@reneehampton7665]

I experienced a sick person like that when I was in college. They can really trick you into staying with them after being abusive. Accusing you of desiring other men. Been there done that. Those are men who have no self esteem.

[@charlotterodriguez579]

Amen sister. Been there and back. The choking of the neck. The verbal abuse as well as the cheating (on his part). Never again!

[@ilovementhol]

Thank you for sharing and not shaming/blaming women! Having gone through one myself, I've learned that my enormous capacity to love, my desire for goodness, and joie de vivre is not something to be ashamed about, and those who crave and want to dim that light will forever be blind sucking sand from the floor. I can still love, desire light, and be loved.

[@sampleworks9432]

I have had a similar experience...gave me so many insights. I was also shocked to learn how many of my family and friends had the same story but were too ashamed and embarrassed to share. We are stronger together ...always🙏. Please don’t stay, there are safe places❤️

[@ja9038]

Ohh Karen, I've followed you so many years and it breaks my heart to know you've been through this. I am so thankful you found the strength to make this video. I've only just recently starting dating seriously as I'm in my early 20s and I think this will be really useful for me ❤️❤️❤️

[@dedest6094]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/aqixlmpvh7J4i7c kzbin.info9S7lI_mZKAk?feature=share .

[@jeanlinder1310]

Sometimes the most important videos are the ones we didn't plan to make. Thank you for speaking up and out about this. WE DESERVE BETTER.

[@DaniGirlover65]

I've been here too. When you make up your mind to leave, please don't let him know!!

[@refugeofthoughts8870]

I agree! It took me six years and leaving many times to finally stay gone. I learned the first time to not let them know you’re leaving.

[@sockbunbunp2764]

It hurt him when you said that because he is so insecure! And full of fear! I’m glad you’re not with that anymore

[@gerigaskill785]

Thanks you for sharing your story, Karen. So many of us have been there & it is a hard thing to talk about. You are saving lives today.

[@JoannaMA1979]

You know, everyone measures others with his own measure, perhaps he was cheating and thought you are like him.. You did a good job with this video. Thanks.

[@katrinaevans7872]

My Nan always said It’s what his doing and blaming you

[@carrieeade5515]

My mom told me the same thing and it turned out to be true not only one time! Never again 🤗

[@dedest6094]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/aqixlmpvh7J4i7c kzbin.info9S7lI_mZKAk?feature=share .

[@bethsharma4766]

Yes, it's called projection. I studied psychology in college and still fell for a narcissistic man who was emotionally abusive. When he started to throw things I left. He was "escalating". At least I was finally able to see the signs. I used to think I had enough love in me that it would be ok. Nope!

[@traceyjackson4162]

KBC thank you so much for sharing this. You hinted in one of your earlier videos that you were once in an abusive relationship and left it. Thank you again for sharing your story. It takes a lot of strength as some women are to embarrassed to admit it.....and they damn well shouldn’t be!🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

[@cathywojcik2420]

This reminds me of the movie with Julia Roberts "Sleeping with the Enemy". I am happy for you that you are out of that relationship!

[@dedest6094]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/aqixlmpvh7J4i7c kzbin.info9S7lI_mZKAk?feature=share .

[@malinored]

I never realised until I had gone through domestic violence myself how well made that movie is. It really shows how often you can’t just leave. It’s not that simple

[@dominique7713]

The signs are real. Always believe what the person is showing...abuse, violence, neglect... leave. Don't even think about it.

[@rene105]

Love to you Karen ❤ from Cape Town South Africa.

[@evelynmatt2000]

Karen your lucky you got out and he didn't kill you because he probably almost did many times. I am glad you are here to spread your light and your wisdom. Love your channel. It's good you have a love now that you deserve.

[@dedest6094]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/aqixlmpvh7J4i7c kzbin.info9S7lI_mZKAk?feature=share .

[@ondayslikethis7948]

Thank you Karen for sharing your story to help others. I was a child who witnessed an abusive relationship and I want people to know don't stay for the kids. You're not helping them in the long run. My situation ended tragically with 4 kids who lost their mom. Ladies leave bad situations but have a plan and be extremely careful. This will be your most vulnerable time and you'll need support so don't be afraid to tell people you trust so they can help. You are not alone..🙂

[@riannatripp6594]

The moment someone puts his hands on you that’s when you get out because it won’t be the last time however much they say sorry it won’t happen again

[@samiyahkams5547]

I definitely understand because I have dealt with some of that with my ex husband. I tip toed around him for years. Once I left, I was able to feel more confident and free. Yes, in a relationship you should be happy, safe, and secure. So happy that you left that relationship. It definitely makes you stronger.

[@melissam7146]

Thank you so much for sharing this. The things we can go through as women can be extensive and often slide into downright shocking. Everyone needs to discuss this issue. Controlling is another form of abuse. What a blessing you are to use your platform to share needed information!

[@jnelsimpson1190]

This was excellent for you to do Karen. I was there. The abuse doesn't always come as blows serious enough to put you in the hospital, but also controlling behavior is emotional and verbal and mental abuse that can destroy a person, or lead to a complete breakdown. If you tythink you are in a situation...call the helpline.

[@missmaldita2810]

earliest I've ever been🥺✋ I just wanna say how glad i am that you were out of it and fought your battles and this is just very inspiring especially being a warning for woman who do not take the signs seriously and get out of an abusive situation early on. you're a strong, well mannered and intelligent woman and you always seem to make my day💜🦋✨

[@dedest6094]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/aqixlmpvh7J4i7c kzbin.info9S7lI_mZKAk?feature=share .

[@mzmishel7953]

Thank you so much for sharing this! We have to help each other. I had a similar experience. First time away from home (Missouri) and living in Hawaii at 21. I made the same mistakes. Like you say it starts off really subtle. The red flags are there and it grows. He was a narcissist. They cannot love they can only abuse. It’s how they get off. I left him twice before we married. Bad choice. They will not change but they will change you. I stayed in an abusive marriage for 17 yrs. I didn’t even know who I was by the end. 10 years later I’m still finding out what I like and enjoy instead of living to please an impossible to please narcissist. When the physical abuse started I left with two small children. Narcissists hate when you leave and he tried to destroy me. Turned my own mother and the court against me and really damaged the kids. Anyway, the happy ending is I survived and if you are reading this, you will too. It was all a lie. THERE WAS NOTHING MORE HE COULD DO TO ME. I put one foot in front of the other and moved on. I am remarried to the most loving, caring, wonderful man. He was also married to a narcissist. Together we love and heal❤️Be encouraged🙏

[@avisquarles3066]

Powerful , encouraging, when you shared about the chocking . I had a flashback of what happend to me.my choking with a telephone cord wrapped around my neck. I could feel my eyes bulging. When you begin to cry tears came from my eyes as well 😥

[@Chunkyshoesuk]

What a wonderful video. Thank you for sharing. Ive been in a rough relationship for over a decade. Its definitely a cycle. You get out but they pull you back & make you feel sorry for them. Fashion & what I wear is the only thing he’s never controlled. If I was into small tight clothes I know it would be a different story. Showing who I am on the inside through what I wear feels like the only place I can truly be me. My style is my therapy

[@SunShine-qp7ol]

I wish I knew how to ask for help and had a video like this to watch. Either would have saved me from so much trauma and pain. So much of what you have mentioned brought flashbacks, it's scary how parallel our experiences were. It's a place that I vowed to myself that I would never put myself in ever again. It took a lot of work on my part to get to where I am today. Thank you for being so vulnerable, open, and honest I truly hope it helps someone out there.....please never allow yourself to believe that you deserve the situation that you are in. xoxo

[@AStitchinLife]

I was in a DV relationship, it’s so difficult to see through the abuse 💜 yes there are small subtle things in the beginning

[@shae1005]

I actually subscribed to your channel earlier today for one of your New York Street Style videos. Now that I see this video, I know that I was meant to see this video. It helps me understand women and men that are in this position and the red flags. May the Lord bless you to continue sharing your story to help others in this situation. You are already blessed because you survived what this could have been. For any woman or man that is in an abusive relationship, please know that Jesus sees you and loves you and there is a way out. Do not let fear, shame, guilt, embarrassment, etc keep you from being treated the way God intended. You have to take the steps that are available to you. Also, it can be hard to leave a person because it is hard to see the patterns. If it were easy, many people would leave these sorts of situations but unfortunately, many people stay because it gets complicated. Be aware of the cycles in your relationship. Please know that Love does not hurt. Know that you ARE worth love.

[@wwredgrl1515]

Amazing last words to him!!! I left a 15 year relationship/ marriage. The day I walked out that door (still remember it clearly to this day), the emotional/ physical weight that came off my shoulders was incredible!!! He couldn’t pull me back anymore. I was done. We were dead for years. He was awful