Enthusiastic Consent!

A handy guide for making sure all your intimate adventures are consensual. VoiceOver by Joseph Sentongo, animation by Rachel Brian @ Blue Seat Studios. Made possible by a grant from the Arts and Humanities Research Council

[@puglosipher1666]

just a snuggle can be really dope

[@julie-tm6pz]

You are amazing

[@t6amygdala]

Puglosipher cuddle gang

[@mokonamodokiloveskirby]

I got into a 'relationship' with a much older man. At first, I didn’t mind being intimate with him, but then he started conditioning me. Talking down to me, knew it was hard for me to say no, but getting angry when I did say no. I certainly didn’t want to make him mad, so I was too scared to say no. It was awful. But I did manage to get away from him, just wish I had been more clear…and not so scared.

[@blueseatstudios6366]

So sorry that happened to you. When there's a big power imbalance and it becomes abusive, it's very hard to get out. Fear is a very normal and appropriate response to a bully. It's great that you found a way out of that situation, give yourself lots of credit for finding a way out!

[@joshuahudgins]

Lack of maturity is always a factor.

[@m.j.2939]

This sounds like pedophile grooming on a younger person. I hope you were older than 18 and he younger than 25. It also is a typical narcissist trait to manipulate/ love bomb then turn on you. They both prey on the naive and innocent.

[@stargazer2042]

While it is sometimes beneficial to be clear to aggressors, you are not obligated to put yourself out there if he is clearly being intimidating. Saying no would not work on some rapists but would scare off others or signal to others to change up their tactics on you. I do disagree with several aspects of New York's consent law, but I'd be very on your side to convict that guy if he used pressure tactics to get a yes.

[@stargazer2042]

@@joshuahudgins While maybe true there is immaturity in his core, the situation is much more than that.

[@xmendozasaur2479]

Thanks for posting! I teach kids K-12 about consent and sexual violence for my job so your videos are helpful!

[@happytimegaming5033]

My boyfriend was REALLLY into it while watching this video

[@stargazer2042]

Guys pay close attention to laws that could put them in jail. The video makes several good points including a few that many guys need to learn, but also makes a few wrong points. Most guys can't pinpoint what they see wrong, so don't judge him if he babbles unable to justify himself. Instead just tell him several of your experiences and what you like. I bet even you can't pinpoint what rules would be best for all situations.

[@happytimegaming5033]

@@stargazer2042 no

[@meganmccarthy8114]

I think this is one of the best consent videos out there. Some of them are way too vague just kinda generically say "pay attention to body language" or "sometimes yes doesn't really mean yes", which, I mean, if someone's already resistant to the idea of explicit consent being important, it just seems like that could backfire and make them think it's all BS if those statements aren't supported by clear examples. I really appreciate the specificity of this video, and especially spelling out that sulking and with-holding affection are coercive. So good and necessary! I feel like so many people, even after having base-level trainings on consent, still don't understand that. Thank you for making such a clear, approachable explainer. I wish there were KZbin awards so that you could win a medal for having the best in this category. 💛💛💛💛💛

[@isaacmitchell7488]

This is very informative! And nice animation

[@motsidisirankwe7330]

I remember when I started sexting with this guy who was a few grades higher than me I felt cool but suffocated because it didn't feel right, I felt manipulated. He would tell me it wasn't a big deal and that no one would find out and he pressured me by sending his nudes and telling me that since he sent his I had to send mine and all of the time I was never turned on I just felt like I had to do it and messed with my mind. It happened for a few years with me blocking him and unblocking him because I felt like I needed him because he made me feel grown because he was so much older but later on after high school, I started to feel violated because he was four or five years older and when we met I was only 14 or 15. Some days I want to unblock him because I think we can talk it out but I know it's going to end up with me feeling violated all over again. Hell I even thought about pressing charges

[@Dl3anksak47]

Motsidisi Rankwe Im sorry that happened to you, and you should, he sent nudes to a minor and then requested that same minor to send theirs, thats child pornography, trust me I’ve been in many situations where I just went with it and had a very hard time saying no & then guys would just walk all over me, I’m glad I’m stronger now and have a voice, nobody is going to pressure me anymore to do something I DO NOT want to do, sending positive vibes ur way, and hope ur okay (commenting on my bfs yt on his phone btw) lol

[@stargazer2042]

In many states the statute of limitations is many years. Remember and write down as much detail as you can about what was said and done when. Police can be rough with adult victims, but with minors this is much more open shut and only requires convincing a jury that it happened. He might take someone else. You can even take record a phone conversation if you are in a one party state, or just house your message logs as proof. Just be careful not to say it to his face or do anything to imply you want to blackmail him, so he can't say you have a motive. Contacting the police prior to contacting him removes any chance of it looking motivated but runs the risk of them blowing your sting before you can pull it off. Newspapers will not report your name.

[@gokce9521]

Is this channel active? YAY!

[@caesthoffe]

really wish some people could see this

[@spydersoup8447]

Or be shown in schools.

[@Chamelionroses]

I found many of these videos on tea helpful to teach consent for my kid. There are videos about " the other side" but really it is all related to communication on both sides. Laws are another thing entirely where ever ( especially forced child marriage as legal or false conviction because of bs work done by any of a "justice" system). Though I digress. Thanks for the videos.

[@PoetNevermore]

Whens the next video???

[@Person-qj1mg]

Never, I guess

[@wazzo5129]

Hold tight SGUL students

[@941kay]

Wish she liked me back.... we could just cuddle

[@stargazer2042]

She might feel pressured to say yes to that too. So always say it is ok to say no and that you'll offer something else and not pout. Also, I think it is ok to ask why or ask again later so long as you first make clear that their no is perfectly ok, that they don't need to say their reason, and that their decision is theirs alone but that you just want to understand. Some guys try to ask why and turn it into a debate, implying that it is his decision not hers.

[@stargazer2042]

This video has good content but has a major flaw. Consent should not have to be enthusiastic. It should just be genuine. You can accept someone's charity. Pressuring someone is what is wrong. Be sure to let them know they don't have to and that saying no won't kill the mood. Since the law does specify enthusiastic instead of genuine, this would be a good constitutional challenge to free expression.

[@annagabrielaholanda3057]

amei, por favor faça mais

[@uusername8462]

Just say yes or no its that simple

[@m.j.2939]

This needs to be shown to all men before they marry. Women do not suddenly become available objects of ownership 😪

[@joshcarlson6575]

Tbh most women need to know this too!

[@m.j.2939]

@Mette B 😂 pretty much

[@ultimate6243]

Then forget alimony. Men are not ATM cards to provide you money. #MGTOW

[@m.j.2939]

@@ultimate6243 the majority 9f women have their own jobs today and if men are so weak they don't want to support their own children while their own mother raises them instead of a stranger, then they don't deserve children.

[@echo-ul8lt]

Why did they stop posting

[@uusername8462]

Thank God

[@kutalyl7153]

No sex for introverts!

[@wolfstyle8945]

I’m so confused why consent is being overly complicated like this

[@kutalyl7153]

@@wolfstyle8945 it's not. It's the people who try to control everybody that make it look complicated

[@adfinder5791]

You shouldn't have posted this on the date that you did less people will take it seriously

[@harlee_king1828]

First comment!!!!

[@LoscoX]

Not making analogies different than you, A month ago I really brought a friend of mine to eating Ramen for her first time (I repeat, it's NOT an analogy to talk about sex, we just eated ramen). She loves it so much that she thanks me more times mainly because when we had to decide what eating and where I had tried to convince her to try it at least at once in her life, because I love ramen and I know that's really good, but she was a little afraid to eat something that it could be disgusting because she had never tried it. So, is really forcing consent that bad even for the seek of the other's good? At the end, we do it everyday. Think about a mom or a dad who cook for their children, she decide what their children will be supposed to eat. And, now, talking about sex, why should be bad when we talk about sex? I Mean, don't we want as society consider sex at the same level of other biological things like eating, because we had discover in the last century that biological it is (and even religiously for Hinduism and buddhism) and considering it different it's just an instrument of moral control for occidental religious (christianity and Judaism mainly)?

[@GiGitteru]

You missed the point of the video completely. Asking someone to try ramen for the first time is WILDLY different than asking them to have sex with you. And what do you even mean by "is forcing consent that bad if it's for the sake of the other's good"??? Even the ramen wasn't doing her any "good", either she would've liked or would not and that's not something you could've known. You were simply introducing her to an experience, one that does not involve having to do something with YOU, like having sex would be, because she can eat ramen by herself. If you FORCED her to eat ramen, or even just pressured her, she might've said "yes" out of compulsion no matter the end result which shouldn't have happened in the first place, neither in ramen nor in sex. For all you know, the ramen could've been so bad that it made her throw up, and would traumatize her. Then you would be at fault for pressuring her to eat ramen. It's the same with sex, but worse, because it's something you do with the person who asked you to. You should never pressure anyone to do anything at all, whether ramen or sex, simple.

[@monicaruby8888]

@LoscoX Parents introducing or even forcing their young children to try new foods is completely different than forcing or coercing someone into having sex. Sex is a very intimate act shared between two people and the intimacy itself makes you very vulnerable. In that vulnerable position it can be easy for someone to be manipulated into doing something they don't really want to do, they can end up really regretting it afterwards, or even have lots of emotional scarring as a result. I doubt any of that happened after your friend tried the ramen, but still, should you have just respected your friend's boundaries? And that's what this is about, respecting the other person's boundaries and not trying to force or manipulate them into doing something intimate when they're not completely, thoroughly, 100% on board.

[@djanitatiana]

How about a quick sidebar about those particular individuals who act like they are enthusiastic and DTF because of all th wonderful attention they get then betray you because they were lying all along. That's really confusing when you're young and haven't yet experienced what liars some people are. It would be probably quite helpful to be warned since this is big contributor to the situations where consent is ambiguous.

[@StreetCqt__]

This is awful why did we watch this at school im to asexual for this

[@MrSaeedted]

The tea consent was a better than this nonsense.

[@zoeporph]

¿Consent permission trust approval abolition? ¿Abolicíon?*? May I add comment/play video/touch play button /listen/view/like/dislike/subscribe?