The Right Way to Help Struggling Employees

[@michellewinkler3985]

I worked 10 years part time and everything was great. Then, they got a new supervisor. I worked part time because I have a special needs son and need to be there when he got home from school. He has 16 different medical conditions including Epilepsy, so babysitter would not work. Once the new guy came in, he started asking for meetings at night and weird hours when I could not be there. He called me into a individual conference to say I was not a good worker because I couldn't physically attend the meetings outside of the schedule I had already had for 10 years. He knew why I worked part time. He could have cared less. I said at this point, I quit. Best decision I ever made and never looked back.

[@ronkonkoma4223]

Do you think that's fair to a company if you're pretty much checked out mentally? I think the guy was probably right. If you were a superstar at what you do, you'd still be there.

[@vickieclark5931]

@@ronkonkoma4223 Not necessarily. At my job, it doesn't matter if you are a worker or a lazy sack of shit, you get treated the same. These unloyal companies only think of you as a number not a human being. So thinking that if someone was a good worker they would keep them is very silly thinking. Maybe 1% of companies care about their employees and the rest of them don't care whether you are a good worker or not. If they can't kick you around then they get rid of you. And no matter how good you are, they all think that you can easily be replaced.

[@dcg590]

Do you live off tax payers now? 🤮

[@michellewinkler3985]

I am a senior now (this was years ago), worked since I was 15, and it was his objective to remove all the older employees and replace them with younger staff so he could pay less, which he accomplished@@dcg590

[@BarrySlisk]

@@dcg590 Jesus, man.. Have a little empathy!

[@aliciaz4682]

Take caution that you’re not sacrificing the other employees for that one lady. I had an employer be so gracious I nearly quit as I was dealing with all the repercussions for that other employee’s slack.

[@csx6910]

Reminds me of mother's who always expect to get preferential treatment because they have kids expecting others to work certain shifts and holidays because those coworkers don't have kids and throwing tantrums when they refuse to just go along with it.

[@Putzywoo]

Thank you for saying this! That is the situation that I am in. I am the one that always shows up, works hard, haven't taken a vacation, not a single sick day. My "partner" is entirely unreliable, out "sick" 3-4 times a month, and has to work from home another few days a month due to her kids, which leaves all of the in-person tasks to me. I lost it recently and think my boss finally understands that if this disparity isn't corrected soon then they will lose me. They need me a lot more than I need them! My "partner" is in a protected class, however, so I believe this factors in.

[@katemiller7874]

Bye then

[@orinachange846]

You are also a mortal and can get sick! People are dealing with various challenges in life and trying to juggle responsibilities the best way they can ! Even the job you are gloating about, somebody else can do it! You are not indispensable!@@Putzywoo

[@Excalibur2]

​@@Putzywooyou probably should just go if it doesn't get better real soon. They never want to do anything until they have to.

[@Locomaid]

We had a case like this that went on for years. At some point, our company social service lady stepped in to understand/help. Mom was a secretary, Dad practically unemployed and catching menial jobs where he could. They could not afford all the doctor visits. In the end, the kid had his tonsils removed thanks to a company donation/fund and the problem was solved. Mom got back to work. Dad also got back to work a few months later.

[@Joce123]

Amazing solution...Create a charity job for her. Fill a difference person in to do her work. She is like a widow with a "never do well "spouse..There is possibly an undiagnosed underlying illness..maybe insufficient food...warm clothes..sleep..fighting parents..need for therapy?

[@ransom182]

Lack of publicly funded universal healthcare in America is crushing. Imagine if people didn’t have to worry about paying to see a doctor…

[@Ryan-zv6xw]

@@ransom182 Or the employer could have paid her sufficiently to pay for a doctor or provided a better insurance plan. What you are talking about is a system where people are paid less or not given insurance benefits and then the government picks up the cost of health care. That's fine, but understand that's a subsidy for the companies, not the families. You basically are having the government pay part of peoples' salaries. And the discussion lets the employers off the hook. In the case of this example, the company didn't pay her enough to pay for a doctor for her kid so "donations" had to be used to pay for the health care instead. The company gets credit for "fixing" a problem it created.

[@msoldate]

I am currently covering the sales territories for a few of my co workers and shedding light on their family sickness issues that are pretty serious has made me more proud to put in the extra hours to support them in this time of need. However if they hadn’t clearly brought me in on specifically why they’re not working and just weren’t showing up I’d be very upset having to spend an additional 8 hours a day selling for them.

[@abundantacre9]

I’m 😊

[@youngblood23rb]

Most people dont get it until they go through it, and we all suffer from memory loss and are quick to gossip, building a culture of honesty and respect makes it easier to weed out rift raft, what Dave explained here is a perfect example of great leadership and a healthy working environment

[@Morelli-i4f]

This is literally the reason why I left nursing. We are now on a single income, my husband's. I have 3 kids and they all take turns getting sick and I end up catching EVERY SINGLE THING they bring home. Now that they are older they aren't getting sick as often but it was every 2-3 weeks one of them was getting sick. It's hard and stressful to constantly call in sick and hard on my co-workers.

[@Jillousa]

Kids immune systems may be worn down when they're younger because they have to face the vaccine gauntlet

[@HI-xt4di]

I used to get annoyed with other nurses and think they had it easy being at home while i was covering their work load on a short staffed shift. Then I became and mom and realized how much it sucks to be at home and not making money and feeling guilty the entire time while you're stuck at home with sick babies and toddlers. Women never catch a break. We will always feel guilty and be blamed for everything.

[@Kevintendo]

@@Jillousayou’re complete antivax?

[@markusp1788]

Hey, from an ex-small cancer patient's dad here: thanks for standing up for that mom and her family. It's like going through a car wreck with your kid for months and months on end. The best thing you can ever do is that what Dave explained.

[@markusp1788]

@@genxx2724 I am referring to the anecdote that Dave told from his company

[@JL-ds1pi]

Super big respect to Dave. Dave sharing about the girl with cancer and returning to work for him after being treated right, just hits home. He had to hold back tears there too..

[@vivathecat7052]

I had an employee with a chronically ill child so always late, always calling in. Everybody had empathy, but it really was a strain because everyone else had to cover her workload.

[@vikker8274]

We had a lady that had an actual SURGERY of some kind, every year. For real.

[@AndrielleHillis]

@@vikker8274 It happens!

[@michellewinkler3985]

I was never later EVER. In 10 years never late.

[@michellewinkler3985]

The guy replaced all the older women, all of them. Then he brought in younger girls so he would pay them less.

[@michellewinkler3985]

The job was actually a long time ago, that I wrote about earlier. It's been years. I actually work from home for myself now. No weird hours, no crazy meetings (they are set up at normal hours, not at night!) . So glad I walked out of that prior job! The male supervisor was a real nut case and "control freak". I'd never, ever, seen anything like it, and probably never will, ever again. Make sure one keeps an "emergency fund" in case something like this happens so you don't have to be a beholden slave to a boss and can leave at will. I was prepared and that's exactly what happened!

[@yushi911]

I had a co-worker who work 4 days a week for almost 15 years. None of her kids are sick but as her husband has the « important job » she need to deal with all the family issue. The fact she give her 100% during the 4 days she’s in, and we all know her availability in advance it was easier for our manager to compose with the team capacity. There is nothing more frustrating than to deal with surprise when we have enough work challenges. It’s a matter of respect and being reliable.

[@genxx2724]

How would it make the other employees feel, that the job they depend on for their living is a mere hobby to her family? Maybe the others, who don’t have a high-earning husband, or any husband at all, are in even greater need of flexibility. Yet she’s the one who receives it.

[@eclipse.5295]

@@genxx2724 I think you’d be very surprised to find out that a lot of husbands feel this way about their wives jobs. 😏

[@genxx2724]

@@eclipse.5295 They didn’t marry a professional equal, then. If, for example, a surgeon marries a manicurist, I can see why he’d feel that her income is paltry, the function is not important, and it doesn’t warrant her being unavailable for household and family needs.

[@penguin12902]

@@genxx2724Women don't date or marry their professional equal or inferior. Women marry up, almost exclusively.

[@imjustsam1745]

@@genxx2724 I don't think most men would honestly consider marrying a professional equal. Gay dudes sure, a lot of gay dudes marry women for various reasons and keep younger less gainfully employed boyfriends they keep secret.

[@Jillousa]

I'm a very delicated employee that always met attendance standards. after the ten year mark, my parents went through terrible medical issues that lead to their deaths. I'm super thankful my employer returned loyalty by giving me the time off to handle things and care for my mom in the nursing home and brother with special needs both out of state at the time. FMLA helped as well. Thankful they gave grace during a season of handling emergency calls during work hours and out of state visits

[@Ripplesinthewaters]

Dave is so kind! Chad doesn’t know his employee’s details. Speaking with her would really help him and his other employees understand what’s going on. The other employees might feel resentful but if they know what’s going on, that will change.

[@Ryan-zv6xw]

Chad needs the other employees to resent the mother, because it keeps them from noticing his poor organizational planning around labor. I'm guessing this is an hourly job, every hour (beyond sick days) this woman takes off is an hour he doesn't have to pay her, and his other employees likely just kick up their efficiency temporarily to make up for it. That's lower costs for him. I'd bet he only sees it as a problem for the company once those other employees can't do that any more and start taking overtime. Companies, hire enough people for the job so that the moms with young kids (or the men with chemo appointments, or the worker with a mom in a nursing home) can take off a reasonable number of days without everyone else getting burned out.

[@calrey]

Yeah-it sucks to be a parent in the traditional workforce. As a single parent without extended family (I'm an orphan) I used to work in a low-paying corporate job (about 40k) in a HCOL city and it was a nightmare because the first few years after my kid was born, she was always getting sick (for those that never had to use a daycare - that's just how city daycares are. Lots of germ spreading among children and it's always hard to find openings in cities). Kids are humans-not robots. My boss and coworkers absolutely hated me for being late for work and for having to stay at home because my babysitter or backup babysitter or 2nd back up babysitter wasn't available. I was barely getting any sleep so my productivity completely tanked. After three years, I knew I just couldn't take it anymore and left to go freelance and have never looked back. Funny enough, a year later my daughter outgrew getting sick all of the time. Turned out it was temporary but it just took a few years. Leaving that corporate environment was 100% worth it because now I'm making six figures which I would never have been able to achieve had I stayed. If you're a single parent, traditional work environments just don't work and never will and aren't worth the crazy amount of stress and inflexibility from coworkers and bosses. Traditional work environments are better for people without without kids or for parents who have lots of relatives/extended family nearby to provide support.

[@BarrySlisk]

Good for you!

[@karenwalters1211]

I love Dave’s advise! My daughter is 29 with a 4 year old. She’s passionate about her job, a single mom, and works very hard. I work two jobs and can’t help out often. The child gets sick often at daycare, more so when he was younger than now. The other grandma helps out but she gets sick often for whatever reason. My daughter always gets stressed and feels so bad when she calls out. I feel for these single moms or parents who have these special circumstances. Trying to help is the best solution. If they are just taking advantage then they need to know they may be out of a job soon. Have some compassion

[@moms9457]

I was that employee. My son began having massive seizures when he was 2 and it was the scariest time in my life. It is 10 years later, my 12 year old is doing much better (as are his two younger siblings) and I still work for the same company and likely will until I retire. Thank you Dave for modeling what a great boss does!

[@JoeyNYSDnomad]

Then you have the people who are perpetually in turmoil. They never get there act together. That affects team morale.

[@Imzadi]

This is so relatable for me! My kids are sick constantly. They are young. And there’s three of them! So between the three of them myself and my husband, one of us is always sick and I’m always playing nurse. I told my husband that if I weren’t a stay at home mom and I were actually working I would’ve been fired because I would’ve had to call out so many times. I’m thankful I can stay at home. I feel for this mother and her children who keep getting sick. I also feel for her boss. Tough situation.

[@genxx2724]

You and your husband chose to have three children. You and your husband can afford for you to stay home. Your family is handling things appropriately.

[@vikker8274]

What about the people who have to do the work? What grace is extended to them?

[@youngblood23rb]

​@@vikker8274Be thankful that your skills and knowledge are adding much needed value to the company, no better feeling for me than to give 120% helping my company succeed

[@LillyAnnHouston]

Yeah you would have been fired. People in the office will talk about you. A lot of resentment. Yep. Glad your a stay at home mom. I’m grateful my mom stayed at home. I was blessed.

[@kokoskokso]

Can't imagine how single parents are dealing with this.

[@jodic8952]

It wasn’t just the kid being sick it was the caregiver too. The speaker was so proud of his answer, but he didn’t really listen to the question that should have been stated “what do I do when my employee keeps making excuses for being off work?”

[@Ryan-zv6xw]

What I heard was that the caregiver was sick so she couldn't bring her kids in to be watched because the kids then get sick. If the babysitter has the flu and you bring your kid in to her anyway, your kid gets the flu and then you're out longer.

[@margaretchayka6878]

I just love it when employees who are always calling in thank NO ONE for covering for them. Those can go straight to the unemployment line as far as I'm concerned. I don't care WHAT the reason is, you should thank people.

[@Ryan-zv6xw]

There are certainly situations where someone is excessively absent, but overall what we have here is companies that want to plan with no margins. So if you have 200 hours of work a week, you hire 5 people. On paper, that looks like the math makes sense. You might even decide that if you have 210 hours of work a week, you only need to hire 5 people. But in the real world, for 210 hours a week, you need 6 people, because there's always that week when there are actually 230 hours of work to be done, or that week when everyone gets the flu, or that week when one employee is in a car accident. If the company plans with no margin, that's not the fault of the employee that stands up for himself and takes reasonable time off anyway. In that situation, if you are not willing to stand up to the company, it's not your coworker's fault. He owes you no apologies and no thanks, you are not doing *his* work, you are doing extra work for the company because the company's decisions made that happen.

[@Melissa-jp8ps]

Ugh. Ive been on both sides of this. Ive had to cover for a woman who would call out about once every 3 weeks because of her kids, and ive gotten a pile of you know what for trying to schedule a day off to take my kids to the doctors to get their immunizations

[@genxx2724]

I can do you one better. I’ve had to constantly cover for numerous colleagues because of their kids, and been pressured by management when I need to leave early for my own medical appointment. Me, the actual employee, not some additional responsibility I chose to take on. People are even using their pets as an excuse, and that’s regarded higher than my own appointments.

[@genxx2724]

The lesson your employer is teaching is to call in sick instead of scheduling a day off.

[@Melissa-jp8ps]

@@genxx2724 No, the lesson was when I told my boss "excuse me but I don't have a wife to take care of that for me"

[@genxx2724]

@@Melissa-jp8ps That’s great! I heard something the other day: the eight-hour workday was meant for men, who had wives at home handling everything for them.

[@genxx2724]

@@Melissa-jp8ps Is your boss male or female, and what was the reaction? Were your requests honored with no flack after that?

[@LillyAnnHouston]

Sounds like he’s a good employer to even care about his decision. We have an employee that shows up late every day. Calls out sick at least once a week. Her co workers are just tired of it.

[@Red_1976]

Her co-workers sound awful. Maybe they should ask her is she is alright. They might learn there could be something bigger than what they thought in their simple tiny little minds.

[@vikker8274]

Dave, this doesn’t sound like anything near cancer. What grace is extended to those who show up reliably and DO the work? “Market rate”? What is their productivity contribution when they do only their own work? Those of us on the receiving end of this have seen it too many times. So glad I’m self employed now. Thanks for the reminder

[@gmoney1089]

Why did Dave not talk about the possibility of her just using "my kid is sick today" as an excuse every time she wants a day off?

[@RealWallyGator]

I guarantee that’s what the other employees are thinking. They are not thinking, “Wow what a great boss. This is what I can expect when I need something”. They’re thinking, “He wants to bang her, he’s super gullible or he has no spine”. It’s definitely affecting morale that this one employee is constantly skipping work using the “My baby has the sniffles” excuse over and over.

[@teenindustry]

That’s dependent I assume she was better before

[@genxx2724]

@@teenindustry She didn’t t have an excuse before. Plus now that she has a child, she is probably more worn out and just wants to stay home instead of burning the candle at both ends.

[@joeriveracomedy]

Dave never puts blame on a woman. I am surprised Dr. John didn't tag in to ask if the boss had hit the employee.

[@radolfkalis4041]

Yes! My supervisor uses his kid to get out of work any time he don't feel like coming in. Drives us crazy

[@Roni78z]

This was a great question… sounds like this caller has the best of intentions and has a company mindset that is missing in America these days. God Bless them.. I hope this employee can see some relief from her child’s ups and downs.. but, I will say I have worked with people that put way too much on their personal plate and have come to expect flexibility all the time. That’s annoying.

[@r.l.shawver6165]

8:19 I'm so grateful that's how you guys handled it. I worked for a large Oil & Gas company, often putting in extra hours, creating many things for them that were out of my job role. Yet when my son had 6 open heart surgeries over an 18 month period, they wouldn't even allow me to work from the hospital. I was told I can only take the sick and vacation time I have. There were times, pre surgery, that I would stay in the office til 7 or 8 at night to be able to take off for the surgery. I had been there 13 years and I was the lowest man on the team. I am grateful to hear this push.

[@danielrollins4315]

I love good people so much. In this world its such a blessing to know that there are people here who do have wisdom.

[@drn13355]

The biggest issue is when others are forced to do someone else's work. It builds resentment among the workers who do show up for work.

[@graham6774]

Agree with all of what Dave said here. My dad had a disloyal employer even though he had worked for them for decades. It was 30 years ago and i still remember the negative impacts.

[@MM-yz7fz]

What are the other employees getting for doing the extra work? I think everyone but her should get a raise and bonus.

[@michellewinkler3985]

I worked there 10 years I never got a raise. I worked there because my former supervisor let me work part time hours so I could take care of our special needs son after he got home from school. After we got the new boss and he wanted to have meetings manditory at all hours of the day, that was the breaking point when I walked out.

[@michellewinkler3985]

I also worked that job 10 years and never was paid any vacation or time off either because I was "part time" even though I had been there 10 years.

[@The2ndFirst]

I worked for a plant supervisor who said; "We're running a business, not a charity." I believe in that wholeheartedly. You can get involved, and have empathy, but at some point you have to separate people when you have to. Also, as was stated, a value of an employee is relative. I also believe in a principal I was taught in a management training program that told us straight out; "There are no bad employees. If you have a bad employee it is YOUR fault as a manager. You have failed to train them properly, motivate them properly, or failed to help them find gainful employment at another employer."

[@joanntebo2835]

It will feel different when they are needing compassionate consideration, though. I like a line in Alcott's book, Little Men, "I'd be ashamed to hit a fellow when he's down."

[@The2ndFirst]

@@joanntebo2835 People need to stop thinking of employers like charities. Employers owe you absolutely nothing but compensation for your labor.

[@Nova-ru5kr]

Not true--I've worked with plenty of people who thought somebody owed them something and didn't give a rip about showing up half the time or hitting a lick at a snake once they got there.

[@The2ndFirst]

@@Nova-ru5kr That's the "At another employer" part of it is.

[@parler8698]

Treat everyone equally. No favoritism or unlawful discrimination. Don't let your feelings take you away from that.

[@MP-ef6mc]

I don’t agree with Dave on a ton of things BUT I must say he is spot on here.

[@dcg590]

How? How can a boss pay someone who won’t show up. It affects the rest of the staff. He’s in a world where everyone gets along, it does not work that way. He might’ve been able to pay his employee, and for cancer I get it, but in the real world, no way.

[@radolfkalis4041]

My supervisor is like this lady. Always coming in late, leaving early, calling off, not showing up at all. He uses his kid as a get out of work free card, and it makes the rest of us pissy because we have to do extra because he is not there. He needs to find out if his employee is like my boss. Is it genuine illness or the woman is using the kid as an excuse to not go to work, or just plain lying.

[@ronkonkoma4223]

Ramsey should volunteer to pay her salary for the next couple of months!

[@Kaktus965]

U should volunteer to critique the smell of my burger farts

[@darksu6947]

​@@Kaktus965It has a bit of cedar, a touch of nutmeg, and an overwhelming stench of bloody hemorrhoids.

[@ronkonkoma4223]

​@@Kaktus965I actually mentor housewives, I improve their overall performance, I can help you out with the women in your family.

[@chrisdawson3859]

🙄

[@SgtJoeSmith]

You wont get loyalty from anyone. Everyone else will start claiming their kids are sick too to only work 10 hrs a week get benefits and go do door dash when they should be working for you

[@mandysimmons2769]

Dave. You just made Me cry.

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

I have been a back babysitter for many years for the babysitters that canceled. I dropped my plans to run to the aide of a working mom. It’s not easy.

[@Kaktus965]

Wow are you the hot one in that pic?

[@Kaktus965]

​​@rebeccaoprea9917 And yet modern women whine that nobody "notices" them anymore. But thanks for answering my original question. Obviously not the hot one. But your mindset is the reason why I just blow burger farts at single women in public now instead of appreciating them. Breathe deep!

[@Kaktus965]

​@@rebeccaoprea9917.

[@austinlynch8857]

I’m newish to this channel, specifically these call in type segments. This is probably the 5th one I’ve watched and in every single one so far the caller has opened with “it’s an honor to speak with you” and every time Dave has responded with an enthusiastic “You too!” Is that like a running thing on this show? Or have I just gotten 5 in a row

[@smittyvidz25fire84]

I honestly like daves answers

[@ohmai3706]

I totally needed this episode. Thank you!

[@gaselekrauss415]

I was working for a big box store. A fellow employee got a call her child was in the emergency room. She was told if she left not to come back. She chose her child. I very I’ll at work one day and I rarely called in. I ask to leave early and the supervisor started screaming at me in fron of a lot of customers. I told her I would stick it out and she realized she had an audience and screamed at me to leave. I can’t believe I stuck it out for years. Finally left after they embarrassed me for the last time in front of customers .

[@The-Oneness11]

Sounds like a horrible work place. Glad you left eventually.

[@radolfkalis4041]

At that point you vomit on their shoes. I had to do that once. I am lucky if in call out sick once a year. Had a unscheduled meeting. I had been barfing for 2 days, I was told get down here or find a new job. I could barely stagger across the hall to the bathroom, I could not drive. I had my bf drive me to work for the meeting. Made it 10 min before I puked, almost hit our client, she was horrified, started in on the supervisor that Made me come in. I got to go home.

[@SgtJoeSmith]

It's cause every week someone claims their kid is in emergency room to get out of work and most don't have kids. Store assumed it was another bs excuse to go get high and party and not work

[@HI-xt4di]

I live in Virginia, which isn't far from where the caller is from. My son and our family have been sick nonstop for almost 12 weeks. He's in daycare and my husband and I work in healthcare. It's never been this bad. Everyone and their kids are getting sick lately.

[@Paul24591]

Did your family take the poison vacine? I suspect you were forced to if working in healthcare 😢

[@HI-xt4di]

@@Paul24591 No one forced us to do anything. My husband and I are fully vaccinated by choice. My son has not had the Covid vaccine because he's only two years old and he's already had it twice. He's the one who's getting sick all of the time lately because he's a toddler and it's flu and respiratory virus season.

[@michellewinkler3985]

Here's part 2 to my story, thanks for your comments! New boss was in his late 20's and systematically fired women over 50 and hired younger ones so he could pay less. He "harassed" any women that didn't quit (like me) so that they quit anyway. The whole department basically left within 6 months because people became disgusted. I was the first one to walk then found out about all of this later. My reviews for the 10 years were always positive. This guy was a little Napoleon. This was years and years ago. Things are a lot better for women now, for the most part. I'm retired now, TG. I live in a "at will" state so one couldn't sue. Moral to the story, try to save some money up so you don't feel "trapped" if you are in a toxic work environment. Best for mental health to quit.

[@creeadm4349]

Yeah, be sure to help your other employees when they need you. Had a boss give special treatment to other pregnant ladies in my department. I got pregnant too. ALL I asked for was just a slight change in my schedule (remove me from Saturday’s - the busiest day - until I got the medicine for my Hyperemesis Gravidarum). No. The other ladies got to work from home. I got to pass out in the bathroom from throwing up water and stomach acid every day. At least I got paid massive overtime because I was doing so on the clock….

[@jacksycz]

Another thing you consider is getting the employee on FMLA. See if the child has a condition that would be qualifying under FMLA. And they can use that intermittently up to 12 weeks. Hour for hour. If the state has any paid leave resources, that would be something that would be worth considering as well so that they can get paid. I would also look at possibly getting a consult within immunologist possibly to see if there’s something else that’s going on.

[@rosejones2932]

This is the best 🎉 Ramsey video I have heard. So kind. Maybe if she needs daycare she could get her into a small daycare where the germs are less.

[@braddossdfinc9722]

Alot of people in these comments have never been a manager or leader

[@dcg590]

Most have been the person picking up the slack for the person always calling in. Try that in a restaurant. The rest of the staff will hate it. It’s exhausting.

[@fishtail1129]

Mom needs to find some more dependable back up childcare for when the child is sick. I love Dave’s attitude about extending grace. But the reality is she is not doing the job she was hired to do and her coworkers are picking up the slack. Sadly there are people out there that will always have an excuse and will take advantage.

[@katemiller7874]

Would you trust someone else with your sick child. Dope

[@genxx2724]

@@katemiller7874 I agree, so I believe mothers should stay home and fathers should support the family.

[@BrettABarker]

Chad! My son went to a great daycare so good day care or dirty daycare it’s all the same probably. My son’s first two years were brutal, sick for two weeks, healthy for one, that’s what it felt like. I used all 4 weeks of my vacation his first year at day care just for him being sick. Year two wasn’t as bad and after that the immune system is strong and it’s far and few In between. I really like what Dave said, be extra graceful vs not. Best of luck!

[@PeteKiefer]

Excellent commentary regarding a very touchy problem. Thank you for taking on this difficult topic. Pete

[@Kaktus965]

Pete and Repete are on a fence. Pete falls off. Who is left?

[@amys5669]

Little kids are frequently ill. My pediatrician said 8-10 colds a year lasting up to two weeks. The number of days was staggering. They switch schools and new germ pit. I thought daycare was building immunity and kindergarten would be different. Nope, doctor just laughed. Probiotics, healthy food, and rest. As a parent, it is very stressful to have to call out. You have back up care when you can but there are days the kid wakes up with a fever/cold/stomach bug and then it runs through the house sequentially; everyone doesn't get it at the same times. Now, there are all the rebound illnesses after being home more with COVD for 2 years. RSV, strep, stomach bug.

[@kleindropper]

My state recently passed a law forcing companies to give 20 WEEKS of paid family care leave per year. I expect the number of deadbeats gone for nearly half the year to increase exponentially where I work starting in 2026 when the law goes into effect. Guess who gets to pick up the slack? People like me who show up to work. Oh, and we get to pay a payroll tax on top of it to fund the deadbeats!

[@naoko7184]

Wow, that seems insane! I don’t know how businesses are going to be able to survive. Is this California?

[@kleindropper]

@@naoko7184 MN

[@xodroid9853]

What state is that? Does it apply to 1099 employees or just W2s?

[@kleindropper]

@@xodroid9853 It's a state program, so essentially a tax; from what I've read it will apply to the self employed as well, so I assume the self employed will have to pay the full portion. Employers will be able to pass on half the tax to employees.

[@MrMurica]

​@@xodroid98531099s are not employees by definition, they are legally treated as if they are self-employed, so I doubt it

[@Cherrycola14]

My son just started school. Week 2 of school we all got sick week 4 hit with a 2nd round. Didn't loose work but i was slower. All October we've been sick again either covid or rsv. I had to drop some shifts due to exhaustion. Coughing to the point of puking. I work 3 farm jobs shift work late nights early mornings. All 3 bosses dont want me to quit. But 1 employer is down 2 full workers and then I got sick now the animals will be affected. My boss said today you could of called in sick, I said your shift is the easiest, I gotta pay my bills. But yeah I'm worried if this is how school is I dont know if I can keep working full time. The lawn hasn't been mowed in 3 months. I tried doing a bit of yard work and came in the house puking.

[@legalprotector]

A schedule change or giving her non-urgent issues that can be done during flex time.

[@nodsib]

That’s what I was thinking, not sure if that’s possible with their work but that’s what I would try to do

[@genxx2724]

As well as possibly making it part-time until her child gets older and she’s able to be there consistently for the entire work day.

[@random-nz7dy]

These are really tough situations. The other employees are going to start to question on some level whether or not these are all true occurrences or whether shes milking an excuse days off. Even if she's not - that's what they're going to think. And they're going to get resentful that shes not able to do the job she was hired to do and they had to pick up the slack. Got to be careful how you handle this one as a boss. And I certainly think you can find the middle ground where you extend grace and help, but also address the concerns that at some point, you Have to find a way to be at work consistently if you're going to be a full-time employee and if you can't do that you need to be a hard time employee. Regardless of your situation, if your situation is such that it is impossible for you to maintain full-time hours, thats an issue if youvr taken a full time position

[@Fishouta]

As a boss, I would explore other options on how the employee can do their work. Also, to Dave: all daycares are germ factories. Perhaps the child has immune system issues or has some other condition that the boss is unaware of. Time to ask.

[@cabayern9416]

Dave does your strategy work with grown children who won't adult? 60 or 90 day warming?

[@annjacobs8144]

Does she qualify for leave of absence ? This doesn’t necessarily mean she’s being paid for all of her time off it’s just job protection. A lot of schools/daycare won’t allow a child to stay with even the smallest of symptoms. It’s hard to balance coming to work when someone can’t find a place to send their kid.

[@peteranon8455]

All I've seen is managers pawning off all that extra work off on the people who still show up.

[@genxx2724]

She should go part-time and they should hire another part-timer until she’s ready to be full-time again.

[@src4409]

I treat my relationships with my bosses very professional. I don't ask them for help with anything outside of work and I definitely do not talk to them about my private life. I was raised to not use illness, handicap, or anything else as a crutch. After all, most employers won't hire a pregnant woman, a handicap person, or even ugly people. He needs to ask his employee what's going on in her life... in a way that make her feel supported and safe to be open. My guess is that her child has an undiagnosed chronic illness. So many people are feeding their kids junk, exposing them to environmental hazards, and don't know why their kids are sick or obese. He's right. It's not normal... which means she needs to take a deep dive and research things on her own until she can find an fmd or naturopath to help her child. Conventional doctors are great at broken arms, anaphylaxis, or emergency life saving care, but they aren't great at chronic illness.

[@genxx2724]

That’s absolutely true. She can start by getting rid of any so-called air fresheners and other scented products. Maybe the child is lactose intolerant. That would explain mucus and tummy trouble.

[@txspacemom765]

Depends on the situation. There are so many moving parts. 1. Women are often the default care giver for kids. 2. There has to be balance for you and her. It's hard and I get it. 3. There are a lot of scheming people out there. I had a female who worked for me. I was empathetic to her issues and accommodated her a few times UNTIL she had told me she had 2 kids, then it was 3 then back to 2. She was scheming. I also had the female who had 1 kid who was sick from RSV and pneumonia, in the hospital for 3 months. She never complained, did her work, we adjusted her hours so she could work from home/hospital, keeping good notes on her work hours.

[@annai157]

Two additional answers might be helpful: 1) is there a Daddy who should be taking care of the baby 1/2 of the days it is sick? 2) Is her work something that could be done from home on days the little one is sick, if it's not a serious illness?

[@sprint7412]

Sometimes when I was sick or off from school my mom would bring me to her office. I was a well behaved child so I didn't cauce too many disruptions. Her boss was okay with it. She still works for him.

[@FA-pw1yg]

Thanks Dave ❤

[@hachwarwickshire292]

"You don't shoot your wounded." Good way of putting !

[@dcg590]

How can you have grace for one person while ignoring all your other employees? No, the other employees you are putting the work on will not feel that way. In an ideal world, yes, but in reality, no way. You can’t just help the same person over and over and over and expect everyone else to suck it up.

[@BarrySlisk]

You don't you hire some help, unless the company is close to bankrupt.

[@danamarie8718]

@@BarrySliskIf he hires someone else, he has to fire the woman who keeps calling in sick. The workload requires 9 employees, not 8 and not 10.

[@kjkj4725]

Please they don’t give a fk about her or other employees - if that would be the case then they would give bonuses to the ones that have to take cover for her.

[@John-du2mq]

That's why those other employees have good incentives and bonuses

[@leedezern6862]

I’ve experienced this as an employee covering for others.

[@Ashly304]

Employers truly need to work on extending grace to their employees, it creates loyal employees who like their job. People who like their jobs are more productive. I worked for a fortune 100 insurance company, my father had a stroke, was in ICU and died. I got a written warning for calling into work while he was brain dead and in the ICU while my family and I were trying to decide what to do with his organs and when to "pull the plug". After that experience I started looking for a new job, they begged me to stay. I refused. Quitting that job was one of the best decisions I ever made. I also have a special needs child, in this community (parents of special needs kids) it's sad and disheartening how many parents lose their jobs because they have children who are special needs and need off time to take them to doctor appts, therapies, etc.

[@Chrissers2010]

My dad founded a business that became a world leader in its field and did it debt free. As I was growing up, if I felt the least bit sick, I wanted to stay home from school. One day my dad basically told a much younger me (less than 10 years old) that "Life doesn't work that way". From that day forward, I rarely missed school, or later in life missed work due to illness. In fact, I went over 10 years without a sick day at work. Our business had sick leave buyback, so that meant an extra week of vacation or pay each year which was very motivating. Sometimes it's just the mindset that needs changed.

[@katemiller7874]

Your dad is a jerk he was driven by money. Not love for you. Some people are very sick in life you have no idea

[@genxx2724]

That means you went to work sick and spread it to others, affecting them and their families.

[@BarrySlisk]

@@genxx2724 Exactly. What an idiot!

[@rebeccashields9626]

I’m sure all your coworkers really appreciated you getting them sick all those times. You realize respiratory viruses spread in the air, right? No one wants your germs. I hope none of your coworkers had an invisible immunocompromising illness you didn’t my know about.

[@eclipse.5295]

@@genxx2724 maybe that’s why this lady’s kid is sick all the time because her coworkers are bringing it to work! I had a supervisor who came to work sick all the time, and we all rolled our eyes every time he came in sick because we knew we were all going to get it.

[@Zero-gh9lp]

One other thing is, while not asking people to reveal their private info with medical family issues is ideal, if there is something like that going on then other staff being aware of it can prevent resentment. If people are always off with little explanation and it puts stress on the co-workers workload, they will soon start to resent what looks like favoritism, because if everyone did that, the company wouldnt function, so why is one person always getting away with absenteeism to the detriment of the other co-workers. My point is, it would help her case if she were able to offer her employer enough information to understand the need to be absent.

[@rebeccashields9626]

Little kids get sick SO MUCH. Especially when they are little. Luckily I work only 8 hours a week and my husband has the option to work from home sometimes. And people without kids do not understand how much they get sick. Could this mom work 4 days a week instead? For less pay? And could you hire an intern or something to cover the difference? Working full time with kids is just hard. But also if someone taking their sick days is all it takes to stress the whole team, you may need a part time person who covers vacations and sick days.

[@talyahr3302]

Best, most constructive comment here.

[@joeriveracomedy]

I am always thee most productive employee. I don't have kids & rarely get sick. Gimme the money!

[@reggyvarghese2824]

Great advice…❤

[@Sin-D_]

7:05 this is as far as i got, but had to interject that i think Dave missed a key factor in the situation and that is that it’s not just the kid that is sick, but sometimes the caretaker is sick. That sounds to me that she’s one of those who always has an excuse. And the fact that this guy called Dave means he suspects she’s taking advantage. He also knows that his other employees are tired of it too. I understand the treat people like you want to be treated, but that goes both ways - meaning don’t take advantage of people’s generosity. If he’s uncomfortable to find out more (whether she’s using the kid as an excuse), then that’s a problem. And then this employer is paying FT benefits for someone who is not holding up their end of the deal. From what I’ve heard so far, she’s taking advantage. Bc otherwise, the employer would know if her excuses are legit. The employer would have a full understanding of what is going on with her.

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

What sucks is when you work full time, you don’t have the opportunity to take care of anything that needs to be done outside of work, like taking your kid to the Dr. or what not.

[@genxx2724]

You can’t be a full-time employee and a homemaker and mother.

[@cchaffincc]

@@genxx2724 You can and do when you are a single mother.

[@BarrySlisk]

@@genxx2724 It must be possible And it is in my country.

[@eclipse.5295]

@@genxx2724 yet here we are single mothers managing it all 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@Red_1976]

Offer her part time or casual work. She clearly can’t commit to full time. Also, my child was really I’ll with respiratory infections & my boss was very gracious. I had tonnes of sick days, it actually upset me but I couldn’t help it. My daughter is bigger and I’m still there five years later. And now doing full time. I only stay because the company treated me well and understood my circumstances.

[@SgtJoeSmith]

If your kid is sick on pay day and dont have her check ready she wont give a sht about your sick kid and will be banging on your door with cops demanding her pay

[@sc00b3rt]

Ask and find the details. Maybe they can flex their hours and still produce the same hours of work.

[@dcg590]

Dave you’re an awesome boss but the world is not like you. The scenario you just told us is very unusual. NO BUSINESS is going to pay someone if they aren’t working.

[@Fishouta]

Caller did not say he was paying her. It's about her workload falling on others.

[@voidfroze]

That’s not true, I used to work in IT (hardware job, fully in person) and they paid me for two months when my mom was sick and I flew across the country to take care of her. I expected it to be unpaid time but they took care of me, and boy it made a deep impression. I am so grateful to that boss and would do anything for him, even years later.

[@incredibleshrinkingfungus1731]

Entirely different situation if you own or have a large piece of ownership vs. being a manager and yourself an employee. That isn't clear here. Plus this is a real quicksand issue of leadership or management and too many incorrectly choose the former.

[@RwP223]

Single man here who shows up ready everyday, I dont get any slack because like the owner said, he has kids so is biased towards unfairness in that I have to work while others dont while they keep their job where Id be canned because I dont have the kid card.

[@genxx2724]

Single woman. Same.

[@BarrySlisk]

Aw poor you!!

[@RwP223]

@@BarrySlisk Your kids aren't my problem they're your problem. If my car breaks down, I should be able to fix it like parents get to go home and take care of their children. If I have no choice but to pay a mechanic, then parents have no choice but to pay for a caregiver.

[@froggiman1]

Great politician answer. What if you have 3 employees like that, then is it ok to let them go? You start letting one employee of the hook for work and guarantee more are sure to follow her lead.

[@Brian-os9qj]

It is a case by case basis.

[@corinnalopez1774]

Boss needs to start a paper trail. Document all conversations and follow company protocols. After a definite amount of time, it’s See Ya!

[@danamarie8718]

People should be paid according to their contributions. If the woman is hourly, then the hourly wage saved by not paying her should be split between those who pick up her slack. If she is salaried, she should be told that her salary will be reduced, or she will become an hourly employee. The employer can then hire a part time worker to pick up her slack or give the other employees raises. The fact that she isn’t even working enough to qualify for company benefits she is receiving means she is out a lot!

[@BarrySlisk]

I was moved until he said "months"...... If your company can afford it - YOU HELP!

[@genxx2724]

It’s not fair to the other employees. It wears them out, causes resentment, and damages morale. Maybe she should be made part-time, because that’s what she’s doing.

[@Gregoman89]

Yeah taking the ability to provide for her child is the American way.

[@genxx2724]

@@Gregoman89 What happening now is the other employees are providing for her child. That’s not the American way.

[@Gregoman89]

@@genxx2724 what? She isn’t getting paid for the hours she is not working…

[@genxx2724]

@@Gregoman89 Where was that stated? I figured she was on salary.

[@nickelarcade6934]

This…I am all about being compassionate and helping people when they are down. But I can relate. For example. I worked in a call center and people were constantly calling out sick or having sick kids. If those people were working, we wouldn’t have had to do as many incoming /outgoing calls. Eventually though, most of those people end up quitting or getting let go. Everyone has problems but you can’t expect any employer to put up with it forever. When I got promoted to manager, I even came up with a bonus structure for perfect attendance . It backfired though, because people would come in sick when they need to stay home and rest. With that in mind, I’m so glad to don’t work at a call center any more 😂

[@jenniferspisak]

dance, baby, dance 🎉

[@franciscunningham1939]

Did dave say anything of use or just ramble for 10 mins?

[@bes03c]

I bring my kids to work with me if they are sick.

[@psyience3213]

This is a perfect example of employers seeing employees as an expenses instead of an asset. "I have an expense that I think I may be able to find cheaper, can you validate my decision?" Absolutely no self awareness and not a selfless bone in his body.

[@rebekah4761]

One solution could be to split her full time job into 2 part time jobs and hire someone to share the workload. Another option is to let her have the flexibility to do the job from home, if applicable, and then she can stay home so as to not spread the kid's germs to the office either.

[@chickensandwich3398]

Not an employer but I teach college. Maybe this employee's child really was sick. But I've seen adults use their children as an alibi all the time. Employers have a right to ask for documented evidence of an illness.

[@yellowjones2103]

For all those who lacked empathy...extending grace is free and kind and if you want to live to an old age life will happen to you.

[@dcg590]

Grace can only go so far though. Her absence affects others so the boss needs to be fair to ALL the employees not just the ‘single mom’. As usual they want all the understanding and sympathy. It’s not how things work. If she chose to be a single mother, there are consequences.

[@The-Oneness11]

​@@dcg590I am a widowed mother. Luckily my husband was alive while my children were young and I didn't really work much anyways. Now I do work full time because obviously I have to but I just want to reiterate that not everyone chooses to be a single mother.

[@danamarie8718]

@@The-Oneness11I agree, not every single parent has chosen to be a single parent. But, whether it is by choice or not, it still shouldn’t be the employer’s responsibility or that of the other employees, to pick up the slack for the single parent.

[@danamarie8718]

Sometimes extending grace is not free. In fact, it can often be quite costly. People should always extend grace when they can, but let’s not pretend everyone deserves it or that it costs nothing.

[@The-Oneness11]

@@danamarie8718 She should find a job with better work life balance. That's what I did. My job is mostly work from home and has really good leave benefits. At my job there aren't too many single mothers and the single mothers aren't the ones taking the most time off. I hardly ever take time off because I don't want others to have to do more work. The people who take the most time off are the older people when they get sick but they earn that time. I don't really mind if it causes me to have to work a little more though because I understand that older people get sick.

[@Ryan-zv6xw]

The caller is not quantifying this at all, his perception is that the situation is exceptional but that doesn't mean that it is. He's not saying, "she's out three times every month on average", he's saying things like "she's out countless days" or "sometimes she doesn't even reach the threshold for full time" (which could mean she's out four hours in a week). He may need to have more employees for the work and if he doesn't have the margins to have workers out a reasonable number of days he will be inclined to blame the worker and subconsciously encourage the other overworked workers to blame her, also.

[@katemiller7874]

He needs to hire older people. We are reliable.

[@Jesusismyonething]

My favorite age group to hire 🙌🏼 50+

[@vincem2759]

Then don't expect " market rate" for your experience and salary...

[@psykro5735]

No one mention that there’s a possibility of her saying her kid is sick and they arnt

[@kerrissedai6857]

I also believe you have to be creative with workers. Maybe this woman is able to do her job from home? Perhaps she can work an alternative schedule and still be productive.

[@m.miller2374]

Commenting about 7:19. Yes and those employers still want to think this is the Great Depression and think they are Gods and employees should bow down and worship them

[@Cherrycola14]

I have mortgage renewal in 3 months quitting a job isn't an option.