EP.2 Poly By Nature : Polyamory Myths and truths

Joe and Reese discuss myths and stereotypes surrounding polyamorous relationships.
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[@CosmicPhilosopher]

I am glad that our society is slowly coming around to the idea that consenting adults should be able to form whatever sort of relationship they want and that works for them. How one person or couple or group does things may different than others and that's okay.

[@polybynature]

Yes, it’s good to see!!

[@501Caution]

I respect that y'all have (open) dialogue! One thing I can say (only grown) people should indulge in poly! I would love to experience poly! But I don't think I can juggle the emotions & personalities! The truthfulness & honesty sounds delightful if its (genuine)!

[@polybynature]

Thank you for your input, we love to hear it. It's nice to see people recognize poly as an option but also know it may not be for them.

[@FlyyGuyVision]

I agree that only grown people should indulge in this ENM space because I myself an in my mid 30’s and don’t really find a lot people who are younger than me who have the bandwidth or emotional capacity to indulge

[@tomodonnell3526]

@@FlyyGuyVisionthat’s a very fair point. I’m 30, wife is 29. Neither of us could have had the mental capacity years ago. We’ve been together just shy of 13 years now. And it’s only something we really opened up to this year.

[@FlyyGuyVision]

@@tomodonnell3526 same in my 20s that thought process was an absolute NO for me completely and utterly when i got into my 30s it wasn’t the same outlook and i’ve been Polyam now for going on 3 years in August

[@justinriley6120]

So an open relationship and poly are different because of the commitment level.

[@flowhannesburg1912]

And communication level

[@suemceachin123]

At first I didn't understand but now. The way you explain it to me step by step I do

[@polybynature]

Thank you for watching!!

[@FlyyGuyVision]

I love this episode so much because I’ve decided to identify as a polyam back in August/Sept 2020 and throughout that journey I entered into poly relationships first with 2 women as both my girlfriends and the one girlfriend and by January 2021 had 2 girlfriends and that 1 girlfriend I had that had come into my poly dyad for us to become a triad was a monogamous women and during that relationship I really learned a lot about myself as a Polyam person and in that last relationship i did indeed cheat because I wasn’t being full transparent with my partner about my engagement with another women hence was me no respecting the boundaries i agreed to with my partner at the time

[@polybynature]

Polyamory will definitely teach you a lot about yourself and your partner. Thank you for watching and sharing your opinion!

[@carolsimpson4422]

Did you think lying was OK and just recently learn its wrong? Or did you just think lying was OK when it involved fooling women into having feelings for you?

[@barnardkemp9693]

I think you should be talking about the pros and cons. It seem like y’all only talk about the pros more of a balance to make a informed decision.

[@angel70678]

As someone who’s trying to understand this lifestyle, can someone who practices this answer the following question: what brought you to the ultimate conclusion that you wanted to practice polyamory indefinitely for the rest of your life? Was it motivated by sex, commitment phobia, religion for example?

[@501Caution]

It's not hard to understand. People are that are in monogamous relationship aren't honest about a lot of things! Poly is more about being honest from what I can gather. It allow people the opportunity to be upfront without judgement. Poly isn't for everyone & they understand that. What I don't understand is people that (don't indulge) are in relationships that have poly characteristics! One thing people need to understand (it's not based) on (sex)! It's so much (deeper) than that! Some people need to understand they're not (mature enough) to understand a poly relationship!

[@polybynature]

This is so accurate . We recognize that we really enjoy connections with others. those connections can be physical, romantic, emotional, spiritual, platonic, etc... In monogamy it's usually not accepted to have connections outside of your relationship, so we choose honesty, transparency and open communication instead.

[@501Caution]

@@polybynature How can I explain to a women that I want to be poly in respectful manner? My question is what should I expect?

[@polybynature]

@@501Caution that’s definitely a hard question and the answer can vary for every situation. But I would definitely start with introducing the topic. Bring up the conversation about poly without stating that your interested so you can get her honest opinion and perspective. Maybe watch some content together and see what her reaction or fears may be. Once you get an idea about how she initially feels about it you can judge whether it’s something you can talk more about in detail or if it’s something she will absolutely not be open to. Expect her honest opinion, and be completely honest about yours if it’s something you hope for in the future.

[@501Caution]

@@polybynature Okay! I'll just bring it up & observe the reaction. Just to see if I need to shut it down. First I'll ask a few ladies what do they think.

[@ashleyharris8976]

Are they just friend dates? You referred to them as"friends " several times. Do you not see them as relationships?

[@polybynature]

We start our relationships out as friendships, many will stay that way. But yes moving forward to an intimate relationship happens as well

[@morganlloyd7323]

Love the honesty, and I have thought about going into this lifestyle at different points in my life. To me, there's no way that Poly does not change a relationship. Most cases, I don't think it's for the better either. This is your second video, and you're already saying the words, "I don't care." I think that is a very significant statement. Why don't you care? I tried to introduce this into a couple of my past relationships that I was in, and I would like to use a line that a swinger friend once told me. "The reality is way different than the fantasy." For me, that held to be very true, after a couple of parties with exes of mine. I was definitely amped up about going and being there, and we did come home to put the work in afterword. But I cannot lie. My feelings did change. I did not feel the same about either woman after. I still cared, but it was different. I blame myself because I initiated the conversation, but I believe it to be true that any man will see his woman differently knowing that she was with another man. Most WOMEN do not just have sex with men just to be having sex with them. It's emotional FIRST, which means that all of your business and problems will eventually be talked about to this other man. Comparisons will eventually come into play too, and I don't just mean sexual comparisons. When you're young, it doesn't seem like a bad thing, but time will always catch up. If it worked so well. Look at Will and Jada now. Suppressed anger and jealousy will always rear its ugly head. There's no bar to this lifestyle because the rules are always broken, and the parameters will eventually go too far. But thank you for your realness and honesty. I hope that you both carefully think about what you're doing here. You can never take this back, and it will catch up with you in age. Just my opinion.

[@derekprice7229]

Introducing poly into a relationship is not typically a good idea. Most poly relationships that are successful start out as poly for that reason. Trying to convert a mono- person to a lifestyle they aren't comfortable with from the start is where issues tend to pop up. And its wild that you say that the idea of a woman having sex with another man will change the way that you look at them. Did your previous partners not have partners before you? I agree that comparison is not good; that why most successful poly relationships will not do this, but it requires a certain amount of emotional maturity that I think many mono- persons are not accustomed to.