EP. 19 Poly By Nature: How To Start Your Poly Journey

[@Scobebo]

14:23 that jinx was adorable

[@KamandRetroTV]

Your plants are amazing!!

[@big_kapp4425]

New subscriber here they poly thing just crossed my mind I got so many questions but I’ll drop them as they come along 💪🏾💯

[@polybynature]

Thank you for checking us out!!

[@ChrisPalmer-j1h]

I told my wife 2 years ago that we need to change the dynamic because i needed to connect with others, and she assumed that i was cheating and left. Im not mad but I have no regrets. I was honest with her. Moral of the story. The LS will amplify any insecurity.

[@EKL-qu7ih]

'we need to change the dynamic because I need to connect with others' - let's translate that accurately, I want to sleep around. You should have been clear about that from the start not just dropped it on her when you're already married. You seem far too selfish to have ever thought marriage was your thing. Just stay single.

[@mercymunoz1408]

@@EKL-qu7ihthis sounds like a projection. connecting with others doesn’t only involve sex. plus you don’t even know this person.

[@EKL-qu7ih]

@@mercymunoz1408do you seriously think it means he wants drinking buddies, when the topic is polyamory? I don't need to know this person - the comment tells you a lot about them.

[@theboutiquegrower4617]

💯

[@coleb4991]

You decided to change the agreement of your relationship- she didn't want that she left sounds like she is secure to me in what she wants.

[@ClarkGoingCrazy]

I've been interested in making this transition for a few years now after a lot of spiritual work, energy work and self reflection. So glad I found your channel! Thank you both! 💞♾️💞

[@polybynature]

Thank you for watching, I’m glad you found our channel!

[@jaybee8132]

I love this interview. Great questions and explanations.

[@stephrod3110]

Great video! Thank you for sharing your journey. Would you guys be able to talk about the lifestyle from the secondary person's perspective? How its presented to them? Their reactions, concerns, preferences, etc.? Are they also poly?

[@polybynature]

@@stephrod3110 Thank you! We can definitely incorporate this into an episode.

[@SiRArtsEtc]

I love watching this podcast. It's good to hear others perspectives on poly lifestyles. Thank you.

[@polybynature]

Thank you for watching!!!!

[@jeffr4805]

I enjoy watching your thoughtful conversation about CNM relationships. I hope the ongoing dialogue you share will demystify the falsehoods about poly and create more informed relationship dynamics.

[@polybynature]

Thank you !!!

[@scottricardo3126]

Amazing insight and interesting perspectives from both of you.

[@polybynature]

@@scottricardo3126 Thank you!!!!

[@SingerBoo2]

Thank you for this video🤲🏾😮‍💨

[@polybynature]

@@SingerBoo2 🙏🏽🙏🏽 Thank you for watching

[@qjones4500]

I’ve been inquiring about this lifestyle for years and never acted on it. Where are some spots or group chats i can learn more?

[@polybynature]

@@qjones4500 Thanks for watching and commenting!! start by finding out if you have a local group. Check on meetup.com and facebook for local groups. There’s also great books available, we love Jessica Ferns books. Find people on social media that are speaking about poly in a way that aligns with you, since it can look different for everyone.

[@SB18TH]

My husband and I are new to this. Where is the best place to get started, in terms of finding someone? What are some of the main things we should look out for, or beware of?

[@polybynature]

You can try joining local poly meetups. Connect with groups on social media so you know when and where poly events are happening. We had this same issue feeling like there aren't many poly people in our area. Don't rush and enjoy the journey. There's a lot of learning that takes place along the way. Take every situation for what it is and not what you want it to be.

[@SB18TH]

@@polybynature thank you. It is hard getting started. I’ve tried poly dating apps and they are a bust for the most part. It’s also hard trusting people these days.

[@polybynature]

@@SB18TH Fact. Trust no one 😂, Vet everyone.

[@Magestik8]

Okay so let me ask if you saw your husband kiss someone else or be affectionate the way he is with you , what thoughts would you have ?

[@SB18TH]

@@Magestik8 my husband and I have been married 16 years, so our bond is established. We had conversations, going over different scenarios, and researching for the past 4 years. We decided, together, that this is something we want. We create rules and TRUST each other. Yes, I would be comfortable with my husband being affectionate with a sister-wife.

[@GinaKnapp-z2s]

How do you deal with the negativity from family and friends. And losing some of those people cause of not being in a traditional relationship. We are a triad

[@polybynature]

We don't focus on opinions of family and friends. We do what's best for us in our relationship. If doing what makes you happy, makes someone not like you or want to be around you anymore, then they're not good for you anyway.

[@cosodesign8953]

I can hear yalls fire alarm 😂

[@polybynature]

😂 new batteries have been purchased lol

[@cosodesign8953]

@@polybynature 😂😂😂😂

[@qjones4500]

Why are we like this !! 🤦🏾‍♂️🤣🤣🤣

[@polybynature]

@@qjones4500 you get used to it and all of a sudden you don’t hear it anymore lol

[@mjd0312]

Lot of ppl are poly for the wrong reasons or were never meant to be poly at all

[@polybynature]

everyones poly is different.

[@caroleaomo460]

What do you do when you both started in a monogomous dynamic and jumped into poly/nonmomogomy and you don’t know if this is truly for you?

[@polybynature]

Thank you for commenting!! I think it’s best to be honest with yourself and each other. Non monogamy may work for you but maybe not with a partner that you were previously monogamous with, Maybe it works for your partner and not you, or Maybe it’s not for either of you. Evaluate the situation as a whole and pivot accordingly.

[@BryonG9]

Is that a low battery smoke detector beep I hear?😂😂😂😂

[@polybynature]

Indeed smh

[@thomas.earl.speers]

I am at 11 minutes in… the conversation about commitment is weird. I’m with her on this one. I don’t understand his perspective on this point. “Commitment“ has nothing to do with that you’re available to be with that person 100% of the time. That’s just not what commitment means.

[@ChrisPalmer-j1h]

Therapists are a luxury

[@filipdulak]

I prepared something for you guys. Can i send it to you somewhere?

[@polybynature]

Yes, email [e-mail]

[@filipdulak]

@@polybynature Thanks, I just sent it;)

[@Ellaodi]

Boundary v demand is not the same thing

[@lennellmiller2781]

I have a question. When you are going into a poly relationship but your main goal is to be married to the man. You are not really into women and you refer the relationship as a couple with a permanent side. To me that's red flags. How can you relay that to your partner. Because the other person in my eyes only doing it to be with him.

[@polybynature]

You can let your partner know your thoughts on the relationship but I wouldn't push him to make any type of decisions. What is your partners goal for the relationship with her? Does her goals align with his? If not then it probably won't last too long. Maybe a "V" would be a better dynamic if she's only interested in him.

[@Magestik8]

@@polybynaturewhat’s a V

[@polybynature]

@@Magestik8 In a V one person has two partners that are not involved with each other.

[@theboutiquegrower4617]

If you’re poly and inclusive from the beginning then you can be committed to 2 and still show it. Very few situations are there where you couldn’t be inclusive of everyone. Events, Bdays, holidays, whatever if your poly from the beginning then everyone is grown and choosing. You’ll always have male female relationship stuff to work through, but isn’t that to be expected times how ever many wives? It’s why I can’t see how 4 could even be in the picture because there’s definitely only so much time and energy one person has. But I don’t bellows you can only be committed to one person. Whew she was running circles round him had to hit her with the let’s move on and agree to disagree. 🤣🤣

[@polybynature]

@@theboutiquegrower4617 Great points!

[@Magestik8]

So is the poly just for the man or the woman can have multiple men too?

[@polybynature]

@@Magestik8 Polyamory isn’t for any specific gender, it’s for everyone. And there’s so many different ways dynamics vary.

[@Healthy10101Ramiyah]

What are your thoughts on group marriage?

[@polybynature]

Honestly we don't know much about them.

[@ewwwslim]

What if you want to cousins to be in a poly relationship

[@ChrisPalmer-j1h]

Imo. You shouldn't be 100 percent committed to any relationship. No matter the dynamic. Being 100 percent committed to one person is codependency

[@polybynature]

💯

[@fantacrawford8364]

Self destructive behavior