EP. 20 | Laura Lentz on infidelity, Carl's affair & the decision to stay or go

[@coriettapadilla9977]

I have been watching Carl and Laura on their podcast. As I don't agree with the doctrine of the church they came out of. I can relate so much. My husband stepped outside of our marriage and it literally killed the person I used to be. I wasn't fortunate enough to afford therapy but I have read and researched so much about infidelity to help me heal. Also God played a huge role in my healing. I am still healing. I chose to stay in my marriage and she is right when she said you lose people when things like betrayal happens. Even family. I really hate when people judge others for staying in their marriage. I used to be that person who would say I would just leave. But sometimes it's not that cut and dry and sometimes it is. It's been a really lonely journey for me for sure. But that being said no matter what I think about Carl's teachings as a pastor I praise God that He woke him up and he did the work as a man. That's very commendable and it still shows God's grace and sovereignty. I pray Laura and Carl continue to heal and grow in their relationship with each and God. And I thank them for sharing with the world because it's sometimes hard to share intimate details. ❤❤❤

[@withorwithoutu100]

I believe God would rather true repentance take place, turning from adultery, forgiveness taking place, hardness of heart not taking root, and the marriage restored. It's a secular and/or feminist view that under no circumstances should the marriage be reconciled.

[@hoolialynn26]

My husband and I have also been through something similar! And it's just like you and Laura have said, the old me, the old relationship are dead. I've been so thankful for their podcast. I'm thankful that they've put it out there even though they know they will be harshly judged.

[@jalisazari9387]

​@@withorwithoutu100I don't think you know the definition of feminism (look it up). Women are always told to endure. If she cheated on her husband would people be encouraging him to stay? It's personal if the person wants to stay. But society definitely bent to oneside staying and the other side leaving and it's not feminism, but the patriarchy.

[@kins1332]

She is well-spoken and articulate. Her beauty, strength, commitment to God, and love for her husband came through in this interview. Her honesty and openness are refreshing. Thank you for this interview.

[@danneeley7248]

What a brave and courageous woman she is. I admire her humility, her vulnerability and her honesty. What a remarkable woman she is.

[@nas487]

Laura is speaking so close to my heart when it comes to church culture. Their story as painful as it had been for their family. It’s also so beautiful. For Carl choosing to be honest with his brokenness. Giving room to working honestly to build a true deep foundation of trust with Laura & the kids.

[@SharonGascoigne]

I watched this out of curiosity. So impressed with Laura, she was honest and raw. Sad the church family did what they are good at...disappearing. Bless you both and I enjoying watching lights on.

[@jennyc5100]

I have so much respect for Laura. Thank you for the interview. 🙏🙏

[@hgfw9295]

Thee key to this story of his infidelity is that he admitted to his cheating episodes. Without THAT all the work is just pointless. And remember that ppl usually want to keep things a secret forever yet go to couples therapy to "fix" marriage. She didn't have to stay. She could stay. And biggest part HE gave her truth to make her own decision upon.

[@dz7a756]

1:17:35- Hebrews 10:23-25 NASB [23] Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; [24] and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, [25] not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near. Be well and be at peace.

[@Cng0411]

Staying is only worth it, when they’re doing the work.. bc they CHOOSE to. When you’re dealing with men that are broken like this, it’s like a ticking time bomb for that relapse or cycle to start over again. Again, choose your hard. But don’t be a martyr for your husband nor family when somebody chooses not to change something.

[@MightyPursuit]

100%! We loved Laura's perspective on this, and the importance of highlighting this in a conversation about infidelity. Particularly her line that it's very easy to observe whether that person is doing the work or not. And if they're not, it's time to be out.

[@lanceallenmcginnis1105]

@@MightyPursuit It is more noble and honorable to stay even when they are not doing the work. "Till death do us part" not "till divorce or affair or..." You can put healthy boundaries up and still be committed to marriage. In fact, when you are in a Christian marriage you vow to God to stay married to your spouse. Did God cheat or abuse? No, so honor your sacred, solemn, covenant vow to God by staying.

[@Cng0411]

@@lanceallenmcginnis1105 easier said than done. Normal marital problems compared to infidelity and affairs, is so different. I can handle my husband not changing annoying habits or how he does certain things. NOT stepping out of my marriage time & time again. It’s not easier to stay, when nobody is changing that kind of behavior. I have experienced infidelity, and never once did i go out & get back at my husband. That’s noble in my eyes! What isn’t noble is allowing someone to constantly hurt & betray you. After so many times in being noble and staying, you have to draw a line when the betrayal continues because of brokenness. My faithfulness to my husband has always been because of my faithfulness to the Lord regardless of how he’s done me and betrayed me. Which is why he always exposed my husband to me without me ever having to dig or search for anything! He is a shield to those with integrity, read proverbs 👍🏼

[@Ladyofthelakes22]

​@lanceallenmcginnis1105 I don't think God wants any of His children to suffer abuse, whether that is physical or emotional, and Id absolutely argue someone who continues to be unfaithful and refuses to work on healing the relationship is abuse. And while God created marriage as this beautiful mirror of Christ's love for the church, it's also specifically written that sexual immorality is absolutely a reason for divorce

[@lanceallenmcginnis1105]

@@Ladyofthelakes22 you are led by your feelings. The horrors of divorce add more abuse to an already abusive situation. Remove the first abuse, don’t add to it.

[@cesaltinafilipe1121]

She will be mightily used for restoring many broken marriage, God is so amazing that He is jus waiting the person who respond to his calling to turn darkness to light. God bless Laura Lentz.

[@wendy7990]

I admire you Laura , thank you for sharing I’m sure these podcasts are helpful for people x

[@hopbup7401]

Girl, hire a private investigator once in a while. Just to be sure. Trust but verify.

[@lcm4him]

Thank God Laura, that you mentioned that if people can get help, restoration and even some preventative help can be made. People carry around issues that they don’t get help for and live a lifetime of bad choices playing out in self fulfilling prophecies that are cycles that are never ending. And churches should be the starship of this sort of help. They should TOTALLY be the place to go for resources and networking so the help can come quicker and without the stigma that seems to go with getting counseling, therapy and help with addiction. God bless you Laura and Carl! Thank you for sharing and building up the body.

[@jenfehr1]

Wow, Laura. So well said. You dropped so many very important pieces of information here. Thank you, love. God bless you Laura, for being you. And for being honest. And for being vulnerable enough to share your story with us. Because you don’t have to say anything. Even just one piece of what you’ve said can touch someone’s soul so deeply, that it will change the course of their life. Thank you Laura, for being willing to go back to one of the most painful times of your life to help others see a way through. 💗

[@daughterofthemosthigh3366]

I watched an interview with both Carl and Laura and I am 40 minutes into this interview. She has not mentioned God once. She talks about places, journaling, and therapy for her healing. These people were leaders in a church!! Where is the prayer and fasting? Where is spending time in the Word of God and seeking Him for strength? No verses are mentioned. No devotionals mentioned. Neither has mentioned praying together! What??? They are working on their marriage from a secular standpoint. These two both need a deeper relationship with God!!!

[@JanainaScipione]

Yes! On the contrary, she made sure that God, was out. Let's NOT forget the "F" BOMB.

[@justashton255]

so what. she even stated that she didn't want therapy that included hey read these scriptures. Thats okay.

[@Kariberry54]

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 yep

[@hopbup7401]

Because Carl is a fraud and a good liar. Laura is real

[@jodyliske6916]

Exactly what I thought, Where is God in all of this?

[@Zo-rk5sf]

What a Beautiful person! thank you, Laura! so many people are being blessed through you

[@Jess_Curious]

Beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Your story is helping so many of us.

[@masalachai_]

You're so so brave to do this, Laura. ✨️

[@withorwithoutu100]

I believe there is confusion with what is entailed in "Seeking the Lord or turning to the Lord" for answers in trauma. God's response to those seeking Him is rarely just zapping us out of the issue, or bringing instantaneous healing, etc. He gives practical tools to implement to bring about healing.

[@givi6363]

Thank you for your vulnerability ❤

[@jennyc5100]

Thank you. This is an excellent podcast with Laura.

[@dachater1]

Incredible woman. Humility, vulnerability and transparency.

[@saintneptune9]

Loved the interview, please have tissues ready for your guests, when asking emotionally loaded questions!

[@dz7a756]

1:21:55- Numbers 32:23 NASB [23] But if you will not do so, behold, you have sinned against the Lord, and be sure your sin will find you out. Be well and be at peace.

[@pilarmunozv]

I just can’t understand how a minister or Pastor can talk about forgiveness, change and restoration, and mention church but not God, and asking yourself “why me?” Reflects a lot of ego. This is really dangerous because therapy can help you understand the cause and effect of infidelity, but the only one who can change us is Jesus. Why? Because the only one who really knows us is God. I pray that they can overcome everything, and put God in the center of their lives.

[@perandersson4528]

He should have said it directly, I mean it is a difference, but probably very very hard to do.

[@krisb.5327]

Let's examine-Are the Lentzs good role models? They both blame other people a lot. Laura was supposed to protect the nanny that she employed and she did not. She admitted to violence against her nanny. Interesting how Laura refers to people as "Regular Joe." Also she acts as if was hard for her when her husband worked 9-5, the schedule that regular people have. Being bound to a regular schedule is too hard for the Lentz family?

[@stevenflight6929]

regular joe is a common expression in Australia (where she is from) that is actually affectionate in nature. It simply means the normal kind of person. She was saying it as an awareness thing, that having now done that they have a new appreciation for people who do it. You really heard it wrong or through a lens.

[@JanainaScipione]

Of course, Carl is a HERO. This interview is crazy, Its the church's fault.

[@monicacox8100]

What do you do when he’s not doing any work? When he still won’t admit even with the proof? How do you deal with that. Married 18 years.

[@belindaauntbhiggins7716]

I have found much help from Dr David Hawkins also (KZbin) and he has actual therapy you can do virtually with his organization he developed

[@belindaauntbhiggins7716]

youtube.com/@drdavidbhawkins?si=5H1ZgL0VE66HpRWm

[@limnmathema5501]

I have one question, not so sure if i was answered. Did the church support you or they made you resign and put out a statement?

[@iknowwhatyoudidlastsummer4k]

I don't think I could've of stayed if somebody cheated on me

[@ontrancemanyame8279]

Easier said than done when actually faced with the situation.

[@iknowwhatyoudidlastsummer4k]

@ontrancemanyame8279 probably will be hard, but I'm probably not going to stay because I will just be living the nightmare over and over. You can forgive but you don't have to stay

[@43warriormode98]

Leave ..run ..

[@dnmccurry]

Laura, how did your parents respond?

[@mrs.m840]

The host stated that it is a "miracle" that Laura was on the Podcast. It is not a miracle that Laura is on this Podcast, as her and her husband have made a career out of paid public speaking. Lentz got paid a HUGE amount of money for his work at the church. Laura also got paid. They were paid employees with HUGE salaries. They were paid a HUGE amount "to help people." There seems to be a "gaslighting" led by the Lentz family in the stories they tell the public and the phrases and words they choose to use. She said there was no one to "protect" her husband. He was a grown adult with a huge salary and a wife. He could protect himself. It seems that they are stating they were grossly overworked even though they made HUGE salaries. But many people in their age group have to work A LOT to provide for their family. They also had a nanny, house help and a lot of other help that most families do not have.

[@iselastead9518]

She needs to watch American Gospel- Christ Alone, in fact every Christian denomination needs to watch the entire series.

[@43warriormode98]

Did he only tell you because he got caught? You deserve better js

[@focused7786]

Makes me wonder if he would have stayed if she cheated 🤔

[@suziesmith9076]

Why are they on a he cheated tour? I don’t understand. Why not live happily and healed?

[@ke753reej]

They’re trying to help others by telling their testimony.

[@suziesmith9076]

@@ke753reej nope, they are doing pr control

[@kennypetrowski]

Because he’s clearly a narcissist and it’s a new platform where he can share his pearls of wisdom. & I’m sure they also think they’re helping people because that’s the nature of addiction to think you’re somehow unique and special. I’m glad he’s healing, but live a quiet life without being a KZbin celebrity.

[@suziesmith9076]

@@kennypetrowski I agree and the wife is an enabler

[@JanainaScipione]

@@ke753reej No, they are trying to CAPTALIZE, after the fall.

[@rileyhiggins4753]

Reliance on Christ not mentioned one time. Healing on the beach in cali. Several therapists. It’s obvious all this was done from the perspective of affluence. You can’t heal like this when you need to pay bills and put food on the table.

[@bec6099]

Yeah that's what I thought. Seems to rely on therapists instead of God

[@carolinavidaurre5257]

She mentions a therapist in Florida, that was a Christian and specialist in infidelity in marriage. Who was that?

[@JanainaScipione]

No, she said, that the therapist, was not on the Christian stand point. THEY LEFT THE LORD OUT OF THIS.

[@nadinetchaho2618]

@@JanainaScipioneI am left dumbfounded that the Lord has not been mentioned at all to give real hope to others going through the same thing. Laura and Carl were in Ministry what were they teaching people about God’s love and faithfulness. I am really disappointed that “tools” are mentioned but God love and mercy has not been revealed through the process to restore the marriage. The book is not for the glory of God?

[@JanainaScipione]

@@nadinetchaho2618 Me too. Sad. In ministry and yet, far away from the Lord.

[@hopbup7401]

Probably because they were abandoned by the church she grew up with. She had to look outside the church for help.

[@jandebus4834]

Sorry but I think she's crazy for staying with him. He doesn't truly love or respect her. Im sure she could do so much better. Bet she would never have treated her husband sooo badly and yet he's still lucky enough to not be on his own now.

[@nadinetchaho2618]

Betrayal, trauma, coo dependence. We live in a broken world, and God send his only begotten Son for those who believe in him will never perish but have eternal life. The Lord is our redeemer. He heals the broken hearted 💔 and binds up their wounds. He set the captives free and give sight to the blind. He mends the broken pieces and rebuild the places long devastated. The Lord will guide you to his counsel and welcome to his glory. Trust in the Lord only and he will give you the desires of your heart. Freedom is in the Lord alone This story would have been a victory should the Lord’s face was sought out. Read the story of Sarah and Abraham in the Bible to understand how the Lord intervenes and sustains heaven on earth’ marriage The reason you stay is understanding. Seek the kingdom first and its righteousness; and all will be added unto you Matthew 6:33 Keep the good work

[@greenhummingbird7910]

what is the name of the book?

[@MightyPursuit]

The 5 Resets by Dr. Aditi Nerurkar, a Harvard physician. We're airing her episode soon. Here's the link to the book: www.amazon.com/Resets-Rewire-Brain-Stress-Resilience/dp/0063289210/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3PG5DUB4XSY3W&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.b2ipKEbcgPF37ZoYiYgt7tDiT49okQnVJit5PqZ1BuOC7r_h-KwhDjWYi8ABP4xbiiWb1Gkyu3pALv81Z_KwxXyMSzXqE_-WslVDzYK2koLjqNYZMRHAO3B2xpJX8CMmivg4_0fER1BuVdshsdmtD9icDFu56LEuBGN8mFCsapwndwMdrjB-NxwFZdco3WDTG2dRScz6LZa5YI8JIye6YODY6wVxTVVS8FvGC4taAwY.vLuPSLWKytxFB1TTBXIJ26A-xLztWGq50fL_2_duB-A&dib_tag=se&keywords=the+5+resets+by+dr.+aditi+nerurkar&qid=1724441758&sprefix=the+5+re%2Caps%2C146&sr=8-1

[@greenhummingbird7910]

@@MightyPursuitthank you ❤

[@LearsiMusic1]

She’s a superhero

[@marciblack7112]

Why?

[@lamariquita_]

@@marciblack7112exactly. I don’t get it. I think she’s staying because she’s afraid to leave. I know why leaving is hard. I’m in that myself but sometimes leaving is best and causes the other to face their issues. But it’s her choice. I just hope he’s really changed.

[@JanainaScipione]

So you heard the stories many times, but you can't remember???!!! I admire your courage, to come forward and speak about such a private and sensitivity situation. I just do not understand why, either you or Husband, (as trying to talk, explain to the public, a private matter) are not completely honest.

[@limnmathema5501]

When something like this happens the brain forgets just to protect you. The cheating is too much of a big deal and the nitty-gritties that you want to hear are not that big of a deal really.

[@JanainaScipione]

@@limnmathema5501 Thank you for you, explaining something I am very familiar with, I appreciate, I do have a degree in in psychology as well. I totally understand all the mechanics and ways that the brain tries to protect it self from pain. But as woman, wife, mother, evangelist, líder and so and so, I can see she is protecting him. THE CAUSE. They are definitely focused in the new fase they are trying building.

[@Jennifer-i3b9q]

can you milk this anymore? real people were hurt, and there haven't been apologies.

[@43warriormode98]

Once a cheater always a cheater ..js

[@girlmellaceus]

Possibly you missed where she said she made her (difficult) choice because of the way Carl responded and she also said that the secret would have come out one way or another anyway

[@HISIAM888RUHIS888]

There’s Always Hope & Forgiveness… Until it Happens Again!!! 😭💔🙏🙏 In my opinion.. Carl is a Lying.. Cheating Narcissist.. With A BIG GRANDIOSE EGO!!!… (& Still in the limelight)… Using All of this for his glory.. Now. creating All these podcasts.. & whatever(after all.. he isn’t working.. right)??!! He cheated MANY TIMES on her with many women… (way before this Final Woman)!!..& lying through the whole marriage (& his affairs)!! In my opinion..I feel she is Very CoDependent..insecure..& Deceived!! It just feels more Comfortable Being with him than feeling fearful Without him!! However.. it’s her decision.. & Praying for their lives!! (& Especially their Children)!!! Horrific!!😭💔🙏🙏🙏🕊️🕊️🕊️ And.. Praying..It’ll never happen again!! 🙏🙏🙏🚫😭💔🚫👿😈 It’s easy to Believe a lie!!🙏😣🥺🤯

[@JanainaScipione]

Don't remember? ok!!!

[@brendam.angulo5455]

I've watched most of their podcast episodes, and I have to say that I have loved listening to Laura uninterruptedly. 🤍.