Ep. 339 | Escaping the Excess

The Minimalists talk about the many shapes and sizes of excess, including stuff, debt, screen time, commitments, and emotional clutter. Watch “Maximal” episodes of The Minimalists Private Podcast exclusively at Patreon: / theminimalists
Questions answered in this episode:
00:00 When is something considered excessive?
11:32 What are the three ways to gain acceptance?
14:20 How do we encourage others to break away from the excessive pursuits that are causing them to feel perpetually overwhelmed?
14:47 What is “POMO”?
18:26 How do I ensure my daily schedule doesn’t become excessive, and how do I best organize my time management tools to achieve that goal?
24:41 How do I stay focused on my obligations and responsibilities when my emotional clutter is constantly distracting me?
32:02 What is your perspective regarding personality?
47:09 How do I cut down on excessive screen time?
50:34 Listener comments and minimalism tips.
#TheMinimalists

[@Sky-Child]

The only time I am happy with an excess of anything is when I'm growing my own food. If we have too much food we can pass it on to our community :)

[@franmcdonald4702]

The minimalists, Joshua Becker, and the Minimal Mom-- All have helped me tremendously and it is very valuable for me.

[@Buddhababe2]

My heart goes out to TK and his wife. The same thing happened to my husband on his morning walk five years ago. Someone making a left hand turn hit him and he suffered a traumatic brain injury. It changed our lives forever. Looking forward to seeing TK when he’s better. Love and blessings to you all.

[@vickinelson2659]

I love how your videos don't just inform; they make me think. Thank you for that. Prayers for TK.

[@Undercoverbooks]

Loved the comment about enjoying observing the river without having to dive in and take in every drop of it. I've always liked the quote "You can enjoy the music without having to be the whole orchestra."

[@eks2024]

Or enjoy the wildflower without having to pluck it.. 🌼 It will last longer..

[@muchadoaboutkovu]

I’ve learned to not care much anymore what people think. Getting off Facebook and all those picture scrolling “look at my life” ego trips helped a lot to realize how shackling social media is. I know people judged me about quitting it but I don’t care and while there should be a healthy amount of peace keeping in family and friends, I don’t care if my friends or family think I am late to everything or I’m this or that. I try hard to accept people for who they are and while actions can hurt or feel like they are trying to hurt me or be negative to me or look down on me, in the end God knows me and loves me and is who I care about pleasing, not people. People will find a way to use you, to be displeased or disappointed with you no matter how hard you try to be helpful to them, always expecting more. Oh well!

[@lindaalaureano]

I quit Facebook after a year almost 10 years ago. It was a relief from absurdities and jealousy.

[@misssicily100]

I got off social media in 2020 and never looked back. I feel way calmer and can focus on improving my own life instead of comparing myself to people. BE you that is the best way to be and if they do not like you for who you are then move on.

[@sarahlockridge7879]

I highly recommend a gratitude journal. 3 items a day; write what you are grateful for.

[@sarahlockridge7879]

@Alexsandra you're welcome!

[@benjammin105123]

I always liked the thought that what people think of me is none of my business. That has been very helpful to me.

[@chrysvest4746]

Wow, that’s crazy about TK. I was hit by a car while out walking just over a year ago. The car was going about 45mph. I broke my pelvis in 6 places, both femurs, 4 ribs, and many facial fractures. Ended up losing 8 teeth. Happy to just be alive. It definitely puts everything into perspective!

[@Ikr2025]

Really good episode. I struggle so much with social acceptance. Not because of advertising so much as my childhood family. Really really tired of trying to get it and never feeling good enough. Need to stop trying. Sorry to hear about TK, I hope he has recovered now.

[@candiceburgess557]

Love this. Serving others is so important on journey in life. You can get joy from serving others

[@etiennelaliberte8413]

Thank you, I love your podcast. About the Thoreau quote, it means the more detached you are the richer you've become. This is not about money, it's about appreciation and gratitude. Money is energy and flows where the resistance is lower. You are rich when you can generate your own appreciation. Possessions disposses !

[@marilyns6043]

♥️s to TK. And, oh my gosh - that actually happened to me in December! It was a nothing intersection at dusk. Four way stop and someone turned left into me! Hit the hood and got thrown forward onto my back. Fractured vertebrae, lots of PT. But, seriously, loads of gratitude just to be around to tell the story. So surreal. I’m with you, TK!!

[@ArleneAdkinsZell]

I am so glad that yall are on social media, quality content can be scarce and it is nice to have a good post pop into my feed.

[@koreanrainbow4723]

I'm sorry to hear about Mr Collman.😢 Im sending him best wishes ♥️🙏

[@Ahlrrose]

I condensed my apps down to one page, unistalled my social media apps minus youtube (gives me value) and set timers on my phone to be set to greyscale. This is working wonders.😊

[@ericamciver1293]

I know this has been a while back but here is to a speedy recovery TK.

[@nnylasoR]

First: TK!!!! 😱😭 I’m so sorry this happened - but I am thankful that your wife is alright, and that you here with us and in recovery. Praying for quick healing and clarity of mind. Blessings to you, man. ✨💖✨ **HUGS** Second: WOW @ this episode. Just hours before this was posted, I was telling a friend that what I’m trying to accept is -as much as I long for my loved ones to understand my lifelong ADHD struggles and ultimately “get” and ACCEPT me as I was made- their empathy and acceptance won’t change/fix where I’ve already been. I am here now, and **I** accept and love *myself.*

[@denisetracy3839]

Here’s to a speedy recovery for the 3rd Minimalist. Your talks gel when the 3 of your are together.

[@oc4029]

I wish the DSM would change ADHDs name to Dopamine Deficient or something. As someone who went 22 years before being diagnosed because I was not hyperactive presenting and did well in school, I feel like the term ADHD has a lot of misconceptions. I know that wasn't the point of this episode but I loved hearing Ryan say dopamine deficient.

[@nnylasoR]

^^^YES.^^^ Diagnosed at 41… and I concur. ✊💖

[@Sky-Child]

Heck yes. My mother is in her 60s and just thought she was a "failure of a human being" her words, not mine (disorganised, can't finish projects, forgetful, untidy) until I checked the list of diagnostic symptoms for my son and was like "Mum, you have ADHD!"

[@muchadoaboutkovu]

I thought I was a failure too until I looked into adhd (it dopamine deficient..)for my kids and found to my astonishment that I am definitely on the spectrum. Double D’s unite! 😆

[@AmelciaQ]

Add me to the club, diagnosed at 28 and totally agree!

[@alanbirkner1958]

I found my daily 10 items to declutter. There are craft items I haven't used in at least a year. Tina, Al's wife

[@momomasters]

i honestly don't know how far back we go, now. I do know by the time I found you, I'd been on the road and fully minimalized for some years and you were singing my song. Thanks for doing what you do so well.

[@jenniferhodgson1114]

Thank you guys great episode. So insightful and true. We have become so addicted to instant gratification and stimulation thanks to social media and the internet. We often don't have time to reflect and just be with our thoughts. Great job guys.

[@lin90210]

Wishing you the speediest of recovery and bestest of health! P.S. isn't an apple watch a phone on the arm now anyway

[@alannahollier2719]

Oh my goodness! Thoughts and prayers with TK Coleman and his family!

[@amyc.dubois5860]

Instead of thinking you’re missing, love what your are doing and embrace those experiences 💗

[@VerySelena]

Wow TK. So grateful you’re doing okay. I’m so sorry that happened. I hope you continue to heal💗💗. All the best 💗

[@mastatdogg]

I hope TK is healing well. All my best to him and his wife. A great podcast. I've heard the saying, "It's not my business to know what people think of me." My well-being and health are more important than trying to keep up with the Joneses or trying to impress people I don't know. Joshua, I am also an extreme introvert, finally realizing my thoughts and actions are perfectly normal. lol. My family is made up of extroverts, and they are understanding my need for alone time in order to recharge.

[@mermeow]

I wish TK a speedy recovery. He & his wife will be in my thoughts. ((HUGS))

[@keirrakarshner5450]

There is a recent episode on Rich Roll where the guest is discussing clarity is more important than information. I think you'd both love it.

[@bumblebee_mrs]

WELL WISHES TK, Wishing you to get better quickly to come back on the Minimalists. From Australia xo.

[@kraykray4118]

I like how Ryan says about the silly videos on tik tok because it does suck you up if you're not aware. I've found myself watching intentionally one video to then be 1 hour later 😮

[@HananBenNafa]

Oh sorry to hear about T.K. :( I hope he gets better soon x

[@alisonsketches]

Re: Melanie's question for "planner peace" - the Bullet Journal method by Ryder Carrol. Hopefully it doesn't add extra, but the system really just needs a notebook and a pen. Keeping it simple (or minimal~!) and ignore the social media interpretation of the system might help!

[@koreanrainbow4723]

No excess Tuesday 😄 HAPPY for new episode. 👍

[@rcpinzonjr]

Two months behind, but still catching up! Your podcasts are like "gold". Each one a nugget of information that continues to give relevance to so many lives. Love the quote from Fight Club! Might have to make that into a bumper sticker. Thanks Team for all you do!

[@Iquey]

There were SO many people doing at my workplace in the mall on mother's day. I thought most people would get that done by the day before. I thought I'd seen it all but it was even worse than Christmas season in some ways due to all the last minute shipping. Americans are very addicted or accustomed to excess.

[@mettebak751]

I hopes TK gets well soon🙏

[@Sky-Child]

Josh continually telling me I don't need a Lamborghini. I feel so called out 😂 My 20 year old car is in the garage again, but still going, just.

[@franmcdonald4702]

Bottom line, I think, is that we all just want love. All the things we do to validate ourselves and feel appreciated and needed is just a cry for love.

[@amonralice]

❤ Thank you.

[@pnargorgulu2552]

You don't need a 3rd Minimalist. You simply need Ryan back.

[@natashyas4149]

Oh no! Prayers for TK Coleman!! 🙏🏼 You can't plan your way to peace, it's already there. Don't outsource your thoughts.

[@sylviadailey9126]

I wanted to comment on your 58 min podcast but got sent here. You were talking about impressing others by fancy cars, purses with logos, etc. So... One time I saw Phoenix Suns basketball star, Charles Barkley, on the Opera show. They were teasing him about his old car. He said it's cause when he goes somewhere and people crowd around, he wants them to want to see HIM - not his fancy car. He slapped his chest. "I want people to be happy to see ME - not my car." So it's a way to know who your REAL friends are - and who are the gold-diggers.

[@kolitiokada9825]

What someone thinks about you is none of your business. (and yes...Ryan is one good-looking dude ;)

[@lauraandrews8319]

Great show! Your best shows IMO are the shows with only Josh and Ryan. Although you have had some great guests.

[@adorableadornments1101]

This one hit home for me, thank you.

[@kraykray4118]

Try out Coming Up Easy - Paolo Nutini Live 2023 Gothic Theater Colorado it's one of his best!!

[@NormyTres]

I agree with Phili - I subscribe to Ethical Consumer too, and research my purchases before I buy.

[@Loveflower244]

Thanks for the motivation to get rid of things, I no longer use.

[@happygolucky6284]

Sending hugs to TK! That’s nuts!

[@Coromi1]

Excess is not only for impressing people, it is for safety. The squirrel trys to bury lots of excess nuts because many will get lost. I try to buy more of a good dress or sweatshirt because I fear that I won't find good stuff when I need it.

[@lindaalaureano]

That sounds like a false fear. Relax and enjoy what you have .

[@Coromi1]

@@lindaalaureano No, it's not false fear. I like to wear dark and medium blue, and I need a blue that's neutral or reddish. Almot every blue garment has a green tint, then I look 10 years older. It is exasperating to search for the right things. Fun thing: I wear a uniform most of the year, simply because I found that one hoodie in the right color.

[@alanbirkner1958]

Best wishes for a speedy recovery, Mr. Coleman. Tina, Al's wife

[@ingainge3146]

You slowly changing my life…❤️

[@BT-be8rh]

I’m from Dayton Ohio!! 😁

[@hansdailyfashion]

56:09 What a coincidence! I was browsing for some shoes online and you said this! 😂

[@omifunkemccloud3362]

Ooohhh. let's unpack these 4 ways to gain acceptance.

[@walkerskii]

This comment is about the logo on my admittedly exotic two-seater (aminimal # of seats) & my SUV (if you'll wait for it) to frame my point: I resonate with what you say about avoiding logos, who'd want to be a "walking billboard", sure I'll wear a swoosh on my shirt, if that company will pay me to advertise for them (or if I get the shirt for free) haha! However, I drive a 911, & that emblem is practically a religion to me, & why does my 4Runner (the SUV I drive to sketchy areas, where I fear my Porsche might be taken) make a statement about me (practicality & Japanese reliability) which it absolutely does?! I'm a walking contradiction (billboard) an aspiring minimalist, who needs a bunch of tools for my proudly Yamaha dirt bike.

[@sarahlockridge7879]

It's possible...in AA the discussion comes up often about ego. Considering alcoholics are excessive with alcohol🤔

[@jainthorne4136]

I enjoy your videos but was a bit amused to hear you quote Thoreau. I like his writing but I learned about ten years ago that while he was living on Walden Pond, his mother did his laundry for him and frequently brought in meals in addition to owning the land where Walden Pond was located. It doesn't mean his writing isn't valuable but it is a wider and somewhat amusing context for his writing.

[@rosemarywilliams9969]

my spouse told me trying to have a kid has turned a goodtime into WORK.

[@keric3730]

Judeo-Christian faith has psalm 23- my cup runs over. That phrase always puzzled me. It talks about it not too far about being led thru the valley of the shadow of death. What to do with the excess?

[@rachelgustafson1207]

For me: Peace from my personal relationship with Jesus is #1. After turning 40 priorities shift and change. I’ve left all social media 3 years ago. That’s been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. More time with family and reading bible has lead me to a richer and more fulfilling life!!! 😊

[@teresavail5238]

Prayers 4 tk

[@HauteBabe]

Mmm 15 bowls of ice cream!! 🍦🍨

[@paccarcrap]

No it's a shit might hit the fan one day and we might need this someday. Not ego

[@anitaedwards4992]

God's strength, healing power, comfort & peace only He can give to T. K. Coleman and his loved ones. God's got this.😇💞

[@robinrutherfordcost4748]

No one can make you feel inferior without your permission. What other people think about you, is none of your business. Two quotes that I've heard over the years. Hope that helps.

[@magdalenamajka798]

But you are hansome Ryan 😅😁

[@maryloueppard425]

excess, having so much their eyes bulge.

[@Goaltimer]

One guy is always talking and the other is yessing. Funny.