EPIC BLAZE: Social Media Screw Ups

It finally happened. A new epic blaze. Praise be.
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Simon's Social Media:
Twitter: / simonwhistler
Instagram: / simonwhistler
Simon's Other Channels:
TodayIFoundOut: / todayifoundout
TopTenz: / toptenznet
Biographics: / @biographics
Visual Politik: / @visualpolitiken
Highlight History: / @highlighthistory
Geographics: / @geographicstravel

[@McAllisterCo]

When Simon asks you to retrieve something from the basement, refuse, whatever you do, refuse. #AdviceforMatthew

[@spiiket.3474]

How has this only 2 likes, this shit is hilarious 😂

[@McAllisterCo]

I think we can all agree somewhere in the world right now Matthew is scrolling through these comments thinking to himself “dear god what did I get myself into”

[@brainblaze6526]

But there is gold down there. Lots of gold.

[@McAllisterCo]

Allegedly.

[@ericstamps4717]

@@brainblaze6526 comedy gold

[@freckargent]

Simon - "This script is so long!" *Reads two lines* *Five minute tangent* Love it. 😅

[@ashleelarsen5002]

7:00 still going

[@MorbidMissMuffet]

​@@ashleelarsen5002😂

[@brettwaugh4569]

The tangents make this fun. The content is pretty informative but the tangents bring the entertainment. Rock on Simon.

[@johnpeace971]

They meed to make edits of these without all the camera 2 offsides. Simon's commentary is just plain annoying to anyone who just wants to hear the facts

[@Leo_Pard_A4]

​@@johnpeace971pathetic

[@codykleoppel6919]

Ahhhh. I just love when Simon calls it Business Blaze instead of Brain Blaze. Takes me back to the good ole days of hour and a half tangents and locking Danny in the basement. Am I right Peter!?!😂😂

[@keit99]

Rumours say Danny is still savely locked away in the basement

[@steppyrose7166]

Claiming that your account has been hacked is a common way to deflect blame after posting something stupid and offensive and getting called out for it. It’s sorta like blaming a fart on a dog

[@peachxtaehyung]

What?

[@racquellorenatan]

in loving memory of danny. he’s not dead, just tired of simon

[@englishkatie]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Justme-sh9ce]

Yes.

[@badluck5647]

It's the same reason ETA left the show...allegedly

[@SRW_]

Hes finally broke the chains of capitalism. Now he just writes about capital

[@oracleofdelphi4533]

R.I.P.

[@tpope2044]

I can't believe you let Danny off with such a weak excuse. He still has toes. He still has a nose. FIGURE IT OUT, DANNY!

[@jonlamontagne]

Simon forgot to give him a lemon last month so his scurvy is flaring up again!!!

[@ericpeterson2960]

And his.. i don't need to say it.

[@jamesmccullough5812]

Love this

[@endearingteacup]

@@ericpeterson2960I’m scared of what you’re able to do with yo…😂

[@K8E666]

Would love a t-shirt saying “Cocaine, I couldn’t do this without you…” 😂😂😂

[@TheFreshPrinceOfSaiyans]

Simon doesn’t know the lactose intolerant struggles. I eat sour cream, I spend the entire next day in bathroom. I eat pizza, I don’t see the bathroom for two days. It’s wild out here for us, man. Let us have this. 😫

[@BlackHearthguard]

He is right on the other milks tasting like ass tho. He also forgot one of the worst parts of lactose intolerance, WE CAN'T HAVE ICE CREAM YOU BASTARD!

[@colbywood1785]

Dude, just be tolerant... it's 2022.

[@rivergreen1727]

If I eat an average amount of lactose, I'm in bed for hours with stomach cramps so painful I struggle to breathe. The stage when I finally spend an hour or more in the bathroom is a blessing at the end of all that. If only Simon could spend a day in our bodies lol

[@vickywitton1008]

I am with you! I spent my life with bad guys and other horrible symptoms and had loads of docs appointments and tests but no answer, when I read about lactose intolerance, the bell suddenly went off in my head! Skool much better now, even thoughtless intolerant too!

[@vickywitton1008]

Agh! Predictive text! I meant bad guts and sooo much better!

[@AverytheCubanAmerican]

Sam when he charges Simon per meme: *s t o n k s*

[@oracleofdelphi4533]

HA! GAAAAY!!!!

[@masjuggalo]

That's why the last video had 40mins of memes

[@oracleofdelphi4533]

These Epic Blazes are legendary. But take care of yourself Simon. I'm sure everyone is saying they want more. I say, keep them short. Keep your voice healthy. Blaze on.

[@imouse3246]

Does a fudgy fart sound every time Simon says "shit" count? I like it anyway.

[@jessewilson8676]

Prepare for 2 1/2 hours of solid mems

[@talanigreywolf7110]

"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio." ~ Rodney Dangerfield

[@brainblaze6526]

Damn Rodney. Shit.

[@thomascooley2749]

I was an ugly kid My father took me to the zoo and the man at the gate thanked him for returning me Rodney dangerfield

[@justaddchildren]

"I grew up in a rough neighborhood. In school the teacher asked what you do at the end of a sentence and one kid said 'you ask for an appeal' " Rodney Dangerfield

[@upperleftcoastchelseafan7718]

My girlfriend is so ugly, two guys broke into her apartment. She yelled "Rape!" They yelled "NO!" Rodney Dangerfield

[@matthewwhite2155]

I read all of those in Rodney's voice.

[@cssimps]

I discovered this Blaze channel last week. I love it! Side note: IF you "just got the point", I wouldn't like your work as much. I love your rants. I enjoy the writer's work & the memes added bring it all together. Thank you ...to everyone. This includes the rants as I feel like they are an entity all by themselves. 🤣

[@jackryan4313]

My doctors told my mom I was allergic to milk. She just laughed and said "well he drinks a gallon just about every two or three days so obviously he's not allergic enough" Apparently, I shouldn't be able to drink milk with no problems, but I did it so much that my body gave up, leaving me allergic but the allergy is...inert

[@en-men-lu-ana6870]

You beat your allergy to submission.

[@Sammael251]

I think it's more likely that your allergy was misdiagnosed.

[@ewoodley82]

Simon: "This episode was not written by Danny..." Me: Oh shit Simon: "this was Written by Matthew, who writes for Sideprojects" Me: Oh you mean Building Blaze?

[@computernaut]

"Building Blaze"! Love it. :D

[@DimBeam1]

cringe

[@eansba88-]

@asdrubale bisanzio xxxblaze is simons only fans account.

[@kplus87]

I read "Building Blaze" and freaking lost it. Perfect comment 😆

[@eansba88-]

@asdrubale bisanzio mmmm, educational and erotic... Edurotic? Erocational?

[@badluck5647]

Mathew is going to watch this and wonder where he went wrong in his career. 🤣

[@michaelb1761]

I don't think he'll wonder about it.

[@brainblaze6526]

truth

[@AvoidTheCadaver]

Only those who move up in the world are allowed the Blaaaze

[@andrewb8698]

Simon - These are so long! Everyone - Yes. Now another fact, fact boi. Love these epic blazes!

[@nicolecreighton2714]

“Who waits an hour for pizza?” Me, on a couple of occasions. In America, at least in New York where I’m from, it’s often customary to pay when you order if you walk in. So if you’ve already paid, and they keep telling you “oh it’s just five more minutes,” when you say to just give you the money back, it can be an hour before you know it.

[@williamc4914]

Mathew feels like a step mom that comes out of nowhere and says you can call them mom... You'll never be my real mom.

[@MrJjones543]

YOURE NOT MY REAL DANNY!

[@flowertrue]

Runs into my room and slams the door. Matthew: It's ok. He'll come around.

[@andiward7068]

100% even if you grow to love them, it's not the same.

[@wewowe95]

*sobbing* But But But, MaThEw couldn't be my real Danny, he put a big gap for more money, and can't spell unique. WHERE'S MOM I WANT MY MOM BACK!

[@jur4x]

Not my writer! :)

[@greysonstrachan8395]

Guys, Simon is just trying to hide the fact that Danny escaped again. Remember Simon saying that he hadn't heard people drilling through the walls for a while. And that was weeks ago.

[@davesmith6059]

Danny has been shielding his tracking implant, but he'll pop up again soon. Simon is a ruthless man hunter and is just tiring out his prey.

[@djdrack4681]

I guess this means Simon's radiator in the basement is probably damage. ba dum DUM tss.

[@Spectrulus]

What I don't get is why Sam wasn't able to get out as well, is Danny just that ruthless?

[@longfang98]

@@Spectrulus 2 separate basements?

[@Spectrulus]

@@longfang98 maybe, or maybe ETA was torturing Sam, since Danny was recaptured and forced to do scripts again, maybe we'll find out.

[@blueduchessvi]

I was converted to appreciation of the US menu calorie tag the day I found out that the specialty salad I usually ordered had 1600 calories while the small sirloin and baked potato only had 850 (plus a small bit for butter and sour cream on the spud).

[@arlenecargill9883]

In Scotland, we named our storm which destroyed sheds and carried off children's trampolines 'hurricane bawbag' 😀😃

[@BarryTGash]

Simon: Matty, write like Danny! Matthew: What happened to Danny? Simon: ... write like Danny!

[@dracoargentum9783]

"Your new crew seems a bit skittish, Toomes... Maybe you shouldn't have told them what happened to your last crew"

[@BarryTGash]

@@dracoargentum9783 "You supposed to be some slick-shit killer. Now look at you..."

[@wendya989]

All back of the bus...

[@stigmaoftherose]

When Danny comes back he needs to write a 30 page script explaining his whole life story.

[@badluck5647]

A Biographic?

[@haddib]

@@badluck5647 a bioblaze

[@Hiligd]

Dannys Blaze

[@stephjovi]

Yes! That's gonna be Simon's punishment for not feeding him enough to remain strong to write an epic Blaze

[@badluck5647]

@@haddib Yes! The next cocaine-fueled channel where Simon mocks historical figures in his ramblings, while Sam adds some fine, vintage memes.

[@christinaify]

If you ever want to cut back on the amount you spend eating out, watch Kitchen Nightmares. After a weekend long binge, the next time husband and I went to a restaurant he legit asked to see the kitchen.

[@KristinaSummersportfolio]

Finally getting around to all your other channels! Love it. Side note, my son is also allergic to milk and indeed it was hell when he was little and everyone assumed he was just lactose intolerant or that we were making it up despite multiple hospital visits as a baby...to this day (he's now 24) he detests children's Birthday parties... Pizza, cake and ice cream... Well drat. "Mom did you bring me my apple slices?"

[@nicholasmclaughlin7104]

Just dealing with my kids lactose intolerance gets a ton of pushback and sadly my twins autism gets questioned by grandparents, principals, teachers or even random people who get upset that my kids are having a meltdown waiting in line... -_- everytime in my head; are you a doctor? Because I'm inclined to believe the multiple doctors that diagnosed them and that would be a ridiculous scheme to cut lines since most of the time we end up waiting like everyone else

[@J30YLK]

This might help you on your journey of discovery through the Whistlerverse..😄 Brain Blaze Megaprojects Sideprojects Astrographics Warographics Into The Shadows Decoding The Unknown Casual Criminalist Places Today I Found Out Science Unbound Geographics (previously) Biographics (previously) TopTenz (previously) Explrd (previously) The Simon Whistler Show (Old)

[@jwhitely7]

Everyone should honestly be happy for Danny he finally has a playmate other than Sam

[@gwilkinson736]

But sams not in the basement is he ? Has he finally been captured ?

[@martythestines]

He even warned Matthew that he might see comments about being locked in the basement. And the first comment I see, of course is about just that. 😂

[@claytonberg721]

yeah but now danny has to share the gruel.

[@chandlercampbell9845]

Now Danny has to share the bucket in the corner

[@mikekristin7201]

I can't wait to hear how much hate and despair is in Danny's next script when he just learned about Simon's other writers having free will and stuff

[@emmas3367]

It’s ok he doesn’t have internet so he won’t find out

[@oracleofdelphi4533]

It's a very apt analogy that Matthew's (being from the U.S.A.) script is longer than Danny's. (U.K.) Basically, we're more full of crap.

[@brainblaze6526]

For the meantime.

[@djdrack4681]

Bets on there being 2x the communism references in the first 5 minutes of the script. It happens every time Danny gets loose and falls into a pile of 'snow'.

[@garyshaffer4595]

Ours are just bigger

[@okiedokieartichokie772]

The cinnamon roll thing would have made her day. She was appearantly a very humorous person.

[@JgleJne]

I kind of miss this format of Simon walking round the room and selling the merch by wearing it. And I love his tangents!☺️

[@Sniperboy5551]

Yeah, Simon has become kind of lame lately. I wish he would still do longer videos and go on cocaine-fueled rants…

[@kyle18934]

ikr, I don't wat h for the content, I watch for the tangents

[@katsmeow6946]

Me too. I’m watching old shows for that very reason ❤

[@badluck5647]

Simon, "I shouldn't be making the video so long." [Simon spends an extra 5 minutes talking about the video's length.]

[@LoneWoIfPack19]

That's why we love him.

[@oracleofdelphi4533]

@@LoneWoIfPack19 He's so close to making a video titled "Funniest stories from 911"

[@Justme-sh9ce]

@@oracleofdelphi4533 yes, inappropriate. Profiting off of human suffering.

[@DrCommaBarber]

@@oracleofdelphi4533 thats a great idea lol

[@WeChallenge]

Typical acts of those using mood altering drugs, aka. Cocaine. Hyperactive rambling, and no pause button are common.

[@dappperdan5731]

“Everyone is going to hit the dislike button” oh yeah take my like out of spite

[@brainblaze6526]

Solid dislike ratio on this one actually. Although I get the feeling that's mostly be getting cancelled because of the Danny thing.

[@thekamakaji]

I too liked it out of pure spite

[@Caroline-se1zc]

I usually do, but my the juices from both ends from the cube of cheese I ate earlier might have splashed onto the dislike button once.

[@4dbullshitpatroll6]

@@brainblaze6526 10 minutes in and no mocking of based circumstantial evidence leading to valid suspicion or in your words, Conspiracy Theories! So far so good. P.S. Hurricanes are named after women because they arrive quietly, act wildly, make you wet, AND when they leave they take your house and car away.

[@RetroGenetic]

Yeah, fuck Danny... No...... NOT LITERALLY! (jsut kidding, we like Danny)

[@darsynia]

I'm actually surprised the Titanic thing didn't end up talking about the *actual* 'social media' blunder: there could have been more than one relay to use the Marconi system to find out whether there were survivors, but one particular company wanted their guys to be the ones who got all the news credit, so they basically hampered efforts to speak to the Carpathia so they could get the scoop. It didn't become widely known, though, given the sensational trial that you should ABSOLUTELY do an episode on (I'll write it for you :P), because it was swallowed up by the drama of it all. But man, what a thing to do. Initially, without correction from that relay to get the truth? Families were told that survivors would land at a port in Canada, and the White Star Line chartered a train to take them up there. Train had to turn back around and bring them to NYC again when they got the real news.

[@ForzaNinetails]

Simon. This was one of my favorite episodes ever, and it was because you were walking around and off the chair and you were like x10 more animated lol

[@michaelfraser1073]

Incident that should have been featured here: At one point, the hashtag 'Why I Stayed' was being used by domestic abuse survivors to explain why they stayed with their abusers. DiGorgona Pizza decided to tweet 'Why I Stayed: You Had Pizza'

[@undeadquixote79]

Look for Internet Historian's "Business" video to see that one covered.

[@EuroMIX2]

Reminded me of this: m.kzbin.info/www/bejne/iaKXp59qm7epiMk

[@carmenburton4918]

They did WHAT???? SERIOUSLY?? Omfg Wow .. was there a backlash? A fking hope so.

[@michaelfraser1073]

@@carmenburton4918 Yep. Swift and vicious.

[@halo2d]

Narrator: no one would make that mistake again Pizza Hut: hold my beer

[@Manofvideos292]

A script that doesn't involve Danny's past life as a commodore 64 dating website? I hope we find out what makes Matthew a LEGEND.

[@badluck5647]

Maybe Danny couldn't write the BB episode, because he was busy writing his Biographic.

[@Sledgeace]

@@badluck5647 I hope so

[@marcbeebee6969]

It was a #69 commodore dating site

[@chitlitlah]

Danny used to be a dating website? What a coincidence, I used to be a Geocities website.

[@Manofvideos292]

@@chitlitlah I'm not quite sure. I do a lot of driving and listening.

[@spctvl03]

"There are flags on the ceilings!!!!" lolol this actually really got me because we recently rolled our eyes in a store at their ceiling flag, but tbh it was HUGE and impressive sadly...

[@wendybrenner2614]

Yay Simon I am watching it on July 16th which is my birthday so thank you for the present of a very long epic blaze! 💗 Thanks mate

[@maxbracegirdle9990]

What the hell?? He posted this like 2 years ago...

[@trinaskyrme8769]

No Danny.... maybe he picked his handcuff lock and Simon just hasn’t found him yet and dragged him back. But nice to see the intro is just as blazing. Welcome to “the blaze family” Matthew 🤗

[@baryonyx2574]

The freedom is nice, but constantly having to move around to evade the Simon clones is a bit tiring...maybe I really do belong in the basement.

[@trinaskyrme8769]

@@baryonyx2574 you could dye your hair and call yourself Blaine, as no one seems to be looking for him these days! 🤔

[@7-ten]

@@baryonyx2574 get back in the basement and get to writing scripts! Don't ever let us down like this again!

[@stephjovi]

@@baryonyx2574 yes you do! We need you and freedom is too dangerous especially in 2021. Get back to safety and write more Business Blaze. No offense to Matthew but he's a side project not a blazing legend

[@volvo145]

This script was a bit shitty though

[@beelzebub9720]

Business Blaze: The channel where simon talks about random things and the only bit of business is telling companies how not to fuck everything up

[@JasperSchwinghammer]

He also tells us about the bad economics of the very video we are watching every time the video is over 30 minutes long :).

[@andiward7068]

Seems legit

[@kenjifox4264]

Soon companies should append a note after every statement they make: _Offended? Do not care about your feelings. Don't like it? You can go pound on sand. Not retracting anything, not apologizing. Thank you very much._

[@aceaster109]

“I’m not sure how I feel about the death penalty” Ah. This is before The Casual Criminalist.

[@omg123596]

"It's not the country, it's not the people, it's the people in charge." Wise words from Simon.

[@MetalTrabant]

Sometimes it's the people, too...

[@gensaikawakami341]

@@gomahklawm4446 oh shit! What racist stuff do we, I-I mean those degenerates say? ps. I was gonna spell degenerates like DeGeneres but I thought the joke would be too strained.

[@oracleofdelphi4533]

Social Media Screw Ups: The working title for Business Blaze.

[@thedarkdragon1437]

*yawn*

[@detested2022]

I love how all episodes start about 5 min in at least, but it's the best part

[@scloftin8861]

Trust me, suddenly discovering that your grown up body has decided milk is the enemy, after drinking a really good milkshake for breakfast, and spending the next 12 hours dealing with the repercussions, six of them on a bus headed to a theater doing Shakespeare for a class you're taking, lactose issues are quite real.

[@thekeytoairpower]

Top loaders were historically easier to build.... the seal on front loaders is critical to not flooding your living space, and the seal sometimes has a tendency to trap water behind it causing mildew if you don't leave the washer door cracked. Older models also have a tendency to exhibit the results of poor damping compounded by a difficulty in balancing particularly during the spin cycle. this would lead them to make very loud banging and knocking noises and occasion start bouncing around and moving (hence the old joke about unsatisfied housewives sitting on their washers in order to ameliorate the frustrations from their less libidinous partners). That said, most of these issues are in the past now (the mechanical ones at least, I have little insight into trends in post marital coital satisfaction), and front loading washers appear to actually clean your clothes better and are less likely to damage sensitive items. By which I mean clothes, not women's nether regions.

[@paddington1670]

and this is still the case. cheap front load washers are still worse than a cheap top load.

[@LPcrazy_88]

You fucking legend, lmao. Thank you for this.

[@mitchgisborne1369]

Damn, I want to like but it's at 69 and I can't ruin that

[@Joe-xf5ot]

@@mitchgisborne1369 just think about at as new road to 420😅

[@s.o.s.exploration2412]

I can see Danny curled up against the corner of Simon's dungeon (I mean basement) with chains on, bondage suit, and a hat that says "Rise to Communism" screaming please no not 27 pages!

[@bookapillar]

I honestly never realized how accustomed to American pronunciation I was until this particular video..A-did-us my goodness, home -de-po like the birth control shot! 🤣 Besides that I have never laughed at one of these so hard,the jokes really got me laughing out loud today

[@83gemm]

I can’t believe you left out “American APP-ar-ell,” or however the heck he said it. 😂

[@adamlewellen5081]

I'm just glad Danny has someone to go through the saw experience with!

[@annettepenwell6220]

yea i'm convinced all that noise was basement renovations, rooms for more ..guests. Alegedly

[@brainblaze6526]

the basement now has a seventh level.

[@abridgeburner9927]

@@brainblaze6526 ahh I see your following the classic Dantes Inferno aesthetic

[@Sarah_Grant]

@@brainblaze6526 ohhhh! Classy...😉

[@amruthanand1330]

Social media screw ups: Simon firing danny

[@wesleymorris6862]

I'm just glad Danny finally got a cellmate.

[@SohiTheTinyKittenHuman]

The dove one wasn’t racist AT ALL it was taken out of context and featured not just the black and white women but other as well so yeah it was less a case of a social media mess up and more a case of people seeing racism in everything. Dove took it down because of the response and apologized for how it was taken don’t demonize them

[@topperharley2593]

The 15 second youtube video only showed the black to white one. Someone had to edit it. That person was, maybe not racist, but very racially insensitive

[@SohiTheTinyKittenHuman]

@@topperharley2593 I think that the person who edited it was just trying to stir up tension and make controversy where there was none.

[@evandugas7888]

Business blaze kinda feels like having ADHD. Simon gets distracted, goes on tangents, Danny over writes the script. But you learn cool new things and a lot of topics.Also the random memes are like thoughts popping into your head.

[@nicholasvalentine3907]

There is a proper medical name for the condition Simon has... oh yes, jibbering baffoon.

[@Apeofd00m]

It really is similar tbh

[@coal.sparks]

My favourite thing to do is watch it on 1.5 speed. I think it may be similar to what having a really informative seizure would be like. Or possibly taking a lot of speed. But it gives it this crazy sense of urgency, even when Simon goes on tangents. (Also cool: watching Casual Criminalist like this.)

[@laner.845]

@@coal.sparks oh my god. This is perfection. I've never even thought to watch something fast. I'm going to be DEMOLISHING my history channels now!

[@rohanlorange3660]

I have ADHD and Simon definitely does too!

[@stevemillen_Realtor]

I wonder if next week's Casual Criminalist will be covering the mysterious disappearance of Danny... Maybe we will finally get his true backstory.

[@ivyrose5153]

I feel like Simon could make a fitting video on every channel based on Danny.

[@emilyc8958]

This is one of my favourites, would love another of these. Also would you consider a "mysteries solved by the internet" episode? I'm sure you'd make it great

[@It-b-Blair]

I didn’t know this is what I needed… my usual stuff was boring, and my attention span was dropping, so the hour+ was intimidating. It’s flown by, and inspired gregarious laughter. So many feels m8 😜😂😂👍🔥

[@joshuamyers5326]

Idea for a channel: Simon reviews decades old pop culture that he finally watches.

[@kalevala1778]

Yeah he does that now. Just watched the Princess Bride

[@joshapril1393]

@@kalevala1778 that was great. Let's request more of that.

[@teaspoonsofpeanutbutter6425]

So long as one has seen the princess bride nothing else matters.

[@jooleebilly]

@@joshapril1393 Make it a channel! It could be "Simon Says" reviewing classic films he's never seen.

[@ilajoie3]

​@@jooleebilly Eating KFC or maybe even Taco Bell

[@pootlesnoot8278]

“Mathew”, the name that Danny has given to the small creature fashioned from discarded pot noodle folks he calls a friend that he also hopes shall one day free him from Simon’s basement

[@wewowe95]

Matthew is to danny As Wilson is to marooned tom hankies

[@shelbylester8503]

This video is an absolute gem. Thanks Matty and Simon

[@YochevedDesigns]

True story: When my daughter was in third grade she got out of a big math test, by bursting into tears and telling the teacher that her uncle died in the Boston Marathon bombing. She really sold the story, and they totally believed her.

[@variaxi935]

Your daughter is a genius and a great actor lol please compile a notebook full of stories like this as she grows up 🤣

[@Acr6gAttt-mq2hr]

She's a legitimate sociopath. You definitely should have put her in therapy. You might be one also since you're proud of her for that instead of being ashamed by her disgusting behavior which included blatant lies and a disturbing lack of empathy.

[@Phantomphan613]

​@@Acr6gAttt-mq2hr🤡

[@JaredT_Astro]

We need a script co-written by Danny and Matthew. Danny will add the OG Business Blaze jokes and Matthew will make it an hour long. The perfect combination

[@AvoidTheCadaver]

The combined intro will be 2 hrs long

[@dracoargentum9783]

By our powers combined I AM... EPIC INTRO!!!

[@rogueviking9268]

How many writers does Simon have in his basement? At least it's comforting to know that Danny is not alone chained to the radiator

[@delraylala8662]

This was the funniest comment

[@kobiau]

Isn't the radiator upstairs with Simon?

[@nicholaslewis8594]

Sam is chained there too.

[@Master_Yoda1990]

@@kobiau he has a radiator downstairs as well to keep the pipes and writers from freezing.

[@ali.e7860]

@@Master_Yoda1990 dude, danny froze...not cool (or a little too cool)

[@enoughofyourkoicarp]

A good example of an insignificant terrorist attack would be that guy in Scotland who tried to blow up a bus terminal or something and only set himself on fire and got the shit beaten out of him by a passer by. I still find that funny.

[@cbr5350]

"It's less Cocaine-Fueled than This Channel..." Omfg I LOVE this Guy.

[@jonnyjohnjon9779]

"whoever this rodney dangerfield is he's pretty funny" .... HE CANT GET NO RESPECT!

[@HovektheArtist]

I see what you did there Had to go crosseyed though

[@smileyeagle1021]

You left off the best part about the story of Amy's Baking Company. Most of the food they were serving was ready made frozen food that they were just heating up that they were claiming they made fresh. They refused to believe that any of the bad reviews were because of the obviously ready made frozen food being sold as fresh made, they honestly thought that God had directed them to start the restaurant, and their only problem was people with vendettas writing "fake" negative reviews. When Gordon didn't go along with it, they accused him of being in on the vendetta campaign against them.

[@It-b-Blair]

🤯

[@mooncat7009]

😂 my favorite time was with the burger kitchen and he told the guy he was watching too many fucking Bond movies❤️

[@alexandrialucius8351]

Even worse they are opening a new location near their new home.

[@TecTitan]

I suppose it is easy to believe that the world is out to get you if it is impossible for person in question to be tolerable.

[@ferociousgumby]

It was Amy's cat-talk that really did them in.

[@jayare8814]

"American culture" I am American and when I think about this country and the "culture" associated with it, my mind goes blank and I cringe when I think of how other countries view us 🇺🇸's. Unfortunately I feel that culture has been completely lost on MOST of America. Sadly.

[@fabiusbilerouge]

The marathon issue is that the original guy centuries ago ran it and did die, perfectly legitimate phrasing.

[@mustwereallydothis]

It's so thoughtful of Simon to adopt a stray writer to keep Danny company in the basement.

[@spandexsteve5156]

Take it to heart Mathew the scab.. We miss Danny!… give us proof of life Whistler...

[@brainblaze6526]

I'm not even sure Danny is real any more.

[@NastyNate707]

Great video. Thanks for the time & effort!

[@stevenpope940]

"It takes longer to record!" And procedes to waffle on for 2 minutes 42 seconds.

[@autumnalvoid9646]

Don't you EVER dare to start "getting to the point quickly". You, Sir, are the embodiment of "the (tangential) journey is the goal". It is a joy to follow you on those ramblings. (Also: Great job on the script by Matthew, I guess you can consider allowing Danny a second annual day out to roam in the backyard.)

[@zachsmith1676]

Simon: "amy's baking company" Me: AH FECK NO! *trauma proceeds as memories of that episode resurface*

[@kjsdpgijn]

I haven't even watched the video yet and I'm having flashbacks

[@kazzysenpai5906]

They're a mob front lol

[@semaj_5022]

Her tweet says she would soon be parent to a human child, what the fuck did that mean?? I don't remember this event but like, somebody had to have tried to figure out what that tweet meant, right?

[@jaxmariegaming]

@@semaj_5022 in the episode she said she was the mother to 3 cat children. And said they were her babies. I think she's announcing she's pregnant. Which... Yikes

[@semaj_5022]

@@jaxmariegaming that.. I don't like that. Lol somehow that makes it so much worse. And that poor child :(

[@35dononeill]

There was an incident in 2001 where a UK minister sink an email around to everyone on 11/9/2001 advising that of anyone has any bad news, now's a good time to relese it as no-one will be paying attention. That person was rightfully fired.

[@boovaher]

Simon, the reason Americans have flags everywhere is simple, it's so when they wake up in the morning and look around their world, they can remember where they live.

[@thealbear3629]

Simon: "I got in this classy Grey, I f**king love grey" Everyone: Simon it's green!

[@andiward7068]

Thank you! Adjusted my brightest to double check. Does Simon know he's green colorblind?

[@thealbear3629]

@@andiward7068 Yea I used Photoshop to double-check before posting.

[@live2ride18]

Most men have some sort of color blind problem...Americans found that out during ww2 recruitment

[@ComXDude]

@@live2ride18 Colorblindness is carried on the X-chromosome, making us about 4x as likely to have it, assuming I remember how punnett squares properly work. However, it's important to note that grey is very hard for computers to read, and the most common color it is read as is green (the same applies to printers, including those that don't rely on computers, hence why the Hulk is green when he was originally supposed to be grey).

[@live2ride18]

@@ComXDude maybe you no see where second commenter used photoshop to check the color. Idk if he’s an expert but that’s good enough for me. Besides, you didn’t read my comment very well. I said nothing of Simon and the shirt color, simply a fact. Comprehension is out d window yeah? X chromosome, yeah, well I know of one girl to about five men with the problem. I never said girls couldn’t get it. But you kinda looked smart remembering how to play 4 square, if you know what that game is, with dominant and recessive genes 🧬 Bravo 🙌

[@kanna317]

I had a class with a girl named Katrina in the year that Hurricane Katrina happened and she was not happy about it to say the least.

[@meegstomtom]

Lol I had the news article on the fridge from hurricane Mitch for way to long.

[@MatthewStinar]

The first hurricane I experienced was named after me. In fact, my profile pic was a selfie I took in the rain with the ocean behind me as hurricane Mathew was closing in on us.

[@brainblaze6526]

lolz though

[@rooseveltbrentwood9654]

i worked with a girl called katrina at the time, and everyone at work was just like “ yeah, it makes sense, she is a disaster”.

[@surferdude4487]

I had a pet rat that I named after the hurricane.

[@tobiasmills9647]

"Say something famous, and your name will live forever" - anonymous

[@nmxsanchez]

Never thought I'd see Ledos mentioned here. My favorite pizza of all time. Ate it all the time before it was a chain when I still lived in Maryland I mean Mer'lin. Reminds me of childhood. Nobody out west has ever heard of it. My father (RIP) used to bring us back dozens of square shaped pies when he went to visit (frozen, on a plane!) God bless that man. Probably eating Ledos in heaven now.

[@PKirkham1]

Never get to the point Simon, never get to the point, ramble all across the countryside 👍

[@bchin4005]

Business Blaze, the verbal version of greenlanes for the pandemic

[@TitularHeroine]

This is the most underrated comment of all time. All. Time.

[@jaspertkoop]

Does anyone else think that maybe, all of Simon's cocaine jokes are actually a double bluff. So in reality, business blaze is just an elaborate cry for help.

[@seand7042]

It would explain how he gets so much work done...

[@TheHighSpaceWizard]

I do believe this. A lot. Simon clearly likes cocaine.

[@thisguy9536]

Yes its no bluff at all friend

[@amberfrazier575]

We know these videos take longer Simon, but know your hard works brings happiness into many lives and is appreciated!

[@ShepherdsCreek]

100% agree with your assessment of flags lol I'm from Canada and I feel more or less the same as you on this matter

[@1986krazy]

Haven't heard fron Brian the Meme Accountant in a while.....did he lose his WiFi privileges in the basement, too?

[@stephjovi]

He was a little screwed over with the merch allegedly lol. Simon switched companies the day off giving him the code rendering the code worthless. Hasn't answered him since. So he's on strike. (according to his comment in the Facebook group)

[@stephjovi]

@@sheevpalpatine8628 idk. A few months ago. When Simon said he's sent him a gift voucher. This is what he said : Stephanie Schicker Now there is a story behind that... The day after I got the code, Simon changed the company he used to do his merch and that voided all the old codes. I was cheated. I don't Trust old Whistler now. He's a sneaky old so-and-so. Long live the workers... Comrade. Allegedly.

[@wcouch8]

I want a Danny-Matthew collab so we can call it the Dan-Man episode.

[@stevejester5658]

But Danny>matthew

[@nicko4785]

But why would it be Dan man? Wouldn’t it be Dan mat ?

[@forcedtohaveahandle]

you tried

[@gddesigner]

Maybe Danny-Matty?

[@tempbauer2131]

I’m not shocked by the mistake. Pnb tried and I can appreciate that. However, the 113 👍.... um? I’m so confused. Do they think it’s funny or they like it? Can someone explain please?

[@user-oj6jg8pe9w]

There was an Ihop commercial for "red white and blue" pancakes (strawberries, blue berries and whipped cream) and when a man asks "I wonder what they taste like?" an old trucker looking guy says "Merica".

[@michaelwilde545]

I saw that episode with Amy's Baking Co. There was just no helping those folks. I see nothing that could have been done to save that place. PS - even security guards wear a flag on their uniforms in the US - it's nutty. PPS - love epic blazes!

[@TheSoftestGirlYouKnow]

Literally that's how I used to introduce myself for years, "Katrina, like the hurricane."

[@prophet3091]

If that is your actual last name, it sounds cool as hell ngl

[@TheSoftestGirlYouKnow]

@@prophet3091 Haha, thank you!

[@crispytoast6936]

My friend Katrina as well. I think I actually met her right around that time, too lol. And by the way, you do have a cool name, sounds like a journalist

[@lexistrying157]

Idky but I read this as Katrina, like the tortilla. As in the vine. I need help

[@surelock3221]

@@crispytoast6936 Sounds more like a League of Legends character imo

[@amandad808]

Simon is a panicking school teacher hurriedly covering the topics for the end of year exam and I love it.

[@mickdundee2475]

Simone strikes me as the type of person who limits his access to fresh air through the use of bed linen, farts, then proceeds to rate each air biscuit like he was a judge in a wine judging competition. PS: Much luv bruv!

[@nobodyfamousX]

I actually want to defend the dove commercial. Yes the black woman turns into a white woman, but then the red haired woman turns into a dark haired woman. Like, their heart was in the right place. They were just trying to make the group of woman more diverse.

[@michellegaza7740]

Just remember Matthew, every decision you've ever made has led you to this point in your life. Welcome.

[@PaxofPI]

Worst relief concert idea ever, ”Katrina and the Waves for New Orleans”

[@jonlyons1033]

Gold 🏅😆

[@angelinaburr4249]

52:33 When Simon said he would delete everyone on his friends list for 10 whoppers from Burger King 😂😂🤣🤣 same man, same. They are so good!

[@normalpeopleboreme]

Script: They were all white Simon: Well most advertising, has attractive people!

[@benjaminkirk4678]

I love when Simon reads a single sentence and it sets him off on a fictional argument with a fictional person out loud 😂

[@JuiceBoxScott]

Those are real arguments with a real person... himself

[@mebreevee1997]

“You’re not allergic, you just don’t like it.” You are correct, I’m not allergic, but how many people will listen when you say “Its not an allergy, I just have IBS.”

[@ananthropomorphictalkinggo6641]

Just lock them in the room with you after whatever they forced you to eat makes your IBS flare up, they'll learn really quick.

[@moneyman295]

Or just go with you have stomach issues it works for a lot of things and nobody questions it nobody care if I have acid reflux but they listen when I say stomach issues

[@TheHikeChoseMe]

truth. my wife is a recovering alcoholic and whenever ppl offer her a drink she says she's allergic. its better than saying, no and then having to explain because no wasnt good enough an answer for them.

[@emilyc8958]

Ok but also why do people get so offended when you can't eat a type of food, like, it doesn't affect them at all. I have mast cell activation disorder so have quite a few allergies, kind of sick of people having an attitude about me not wanting my throat to close up and kill me

[@deaniej2766]

@@ultimateskillchain I'm not "allergic" to milk, but I threw my bottle away at the ripe age of one year and refused to ever drink it again. At least white cows milk, I am addicted to chocolate, so I will drink chocolate milk. My mother got creative with putting milk in other foods so I did (mostly) get my calcium. Recently I have developed an allergy to fish & all forms of seafood. I spend 5 or 6 hours vomiting followed by about the same time having dry heaves. Thankfully I do not get anaphalactis.

[@bookapillar]

My Sister and I were both Born allergic to milk(nearly 13 years apart) and my Mom couldn't breastfeed so we had to have soy formula, she stated that regular milk or dairy would get shot at high speed across the room..like The Exorcist! (Probably what Simon meant by intense) Eventually we both grew out of it and neither of us is even Lactose let alone allergic. Weird stuff!

[@Kiwikittynz]

I can see Simon going out into the wild and catching someone to keep Danny company in the basement