Episode 4| Ntombehle VIANTO Mtshali on Identity crisis, dating a married man, marrying to belong etc

#madamspeaker #TheSafeSpaceChatsPodcast #healing #ceoofselflove

[@giftyanntengey4464]

Thank God for social media. These interviews are viewed across the globe, gives lots of strengthto us and lots of lessons to learn. Love from Ghana 🇬🇭

[@gabrielthuu]

No matter how we glorify dating MARRIED MEN it will never be OKAY!!!!

[@humbulanimulaudzi6459]

At least he was honest

[@humbulanimulaudzi6459]

At least he was honest

[@gracechuma]

Let us not encourage adultery. Let what God joined together, let no one separate

[@keitumetsesithole]

I love how she also takes responsibility on the part she played,which is something a lot of women don’t want to do,I pray God continues to bless and heal you.

[@lulama_kay2705]

111

[@lulama_kay2705]

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[@HloiMollo]

My story excetly

[@mphiwenimpungose6295]

😅😅😅​@@lulama_kay2705

[@nqobileDollyMngomezulu]

❤

[@siphokaziluzipho4197]

I like her.... her honesty and transparency...a volunteer in marriage. Lord help us church girls...

[@HloiMollo]

Dating a married man skways ends in tears and broken hearts. I did that for 6 years and I must say I regret everyday

[@nette2144]

As women, we really need to heal from our emotional and psychological wounds. Because more often than not, we have children in our custody majority of the time! Our pain has serious consequences on our offspring. We give distorted advice from a broken place, consequently having a negative influence on our children's ability to make healthy choices later in life! Pain is blinding because it's rooted in a foundation of negative emotions, including fear! Thanks to this channel for revealing this all the time! Madam Speaker you are doing a phenomenal job!! Real freedom starts with pointing a finger at yourself. Because when you point a finger at yourself, you are not only taking responsibility, but are saying "I HAVE THE POWER TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS. I AM IN CONTROL AND NOT IN ANYBODY'S PRISON". This guest did just that. She owned everything!

[@keneilwetsieane]

I love women authors.. they tend to be personally reflecting..I am one of them.. "My walk with God"is the title

[@lydiamathipa4596]

The void of not having a Father goes too deep. Growing up I was like “whatever, I don’t need a father who didn’t care” until I went to Varsity and my whole world crumbled!

[@madams___speaker]

Your story is similar to hers

[@rhulanichauke100]

The sense of responsibility, and maturity in how she speaks, and how she carries herself, I understand why the guy was drawn to her as well, not saying it was right, but I understand.

[@madams___speaker]

🙌🙌🙌

[@sulezinyembezigqeba]

❤️💯

[@auntyb4130]

It's plausible...who am I to judge but I wonder how it turned out for the wife😢

[@mindful-rl7np]

I love how she raises her kids! No frictictions here, she's teaching the kids to not be selfish!!! I can assure you that her kids are more tighter and love each other because there's no inequality that leads to self-doubt. Why on earth would you think it's okay for siblings to have a different standard of living under the same roof? This woman has got it together and comparing her parenting skills to her grandmother's parenting skills is an insult, there's absolutely no need for your comment towards her parenting!

[@NomondeKiki]

I love how you equally treat your kids,even if they were from the same father it's supposed to be like that🙏❤️❤️

[@AfricanHope]

What a brilliant person. I could listen to her all day

[@thabelambongendlu]

I love hearing another woman think like this , I share the same centiment ❤

[@Koke_tso]

Powerful.........."your identity is not found in people"

[@madams___speaker]

Amen 🙏🏿

[@siphokazisosibo1132]

Just discovered this channel and wow ....As a young single lady I'm learning from others mistakes

[@GoshenGrace]

Great conversation here. Thank you madam speaker for giving people a great platform to share thier life stories. That's very powerful. May your channel grow by leaps and bounds. ❤❤❤

[@estellemoyo-in2se]

This was a daughter who was emotionally deprived of love by her father causing her to be sexually exploited by an older man who played a false father figure. 😪

[@lusandapretty6478]

He was supportive though

[@EstherJijana-vy4il]

Thank you ntombehle for your honesty and for taking a responsibility for your actions, i love this part that says stolen goods will always be returned to their rightful owners ❤😂😂..

[@laurenisobell2203]

😂😂 Yes that was extremely funny!!😊😅

[@lindokuhlezulu5554]

I love how she says I broke up with God because she couldnt live a double life. 🙌🏾❤️

[@_baphiwe_]

Ngaze ngamthanda losis. Thanks for sharing your story. Your wisdom shines through the brokenness & it's healing ❤❤

[@xolilemazibuko4390]

Its the accountability in her❤❤❤❤she will be fine actually she is fine❤❤❤

[@kangwachewe697]

Such a powerful story❤ I'm so glad she didn't take her life and is raising her children well

[@Nelzantonnton]

You Nailed it Ntombenhle your story is the same as mine ,but i have accepted it,God is doing miracles in my life and i God a good Job and im doing well with my 3kids

[@ChrisMukoki]

I have bought her book. Quite enlightening. I love it.

[@nhlamulokhosa4553]

Whr can one get it

[@siphokaziluzipho4197]

Ahhhh marn what a great mom. I have one child only, but if I had two or three shem they'll share nakum.

[@Shades11353]

Powerful and emotional at the same time, but she's a fighter.

[@madams___speaker]

She is hey ❤️

[@Shades11353]

Lovely

[@HloiMollo]

Your story is ecxatly like mine. I refused to be married to him butvyena5he found another woman

[@vqmabunda]

I love you sis VIANTO, I went through a similar case, I thank God for taking me out before things got worse.

[@humbulanimulaudzi6459]

ok - which one? or both cases?

[@AbimonicaM]

Yho my lovely sis it’s as though I’ve never heard your story before , I’m glad that you doing well for you and the kids , that’s more important. May God continue carrying you V ❤

[@olivematlhaku485]

Sisi Ntobenhle. Your testimony is powerful. You blessed us at Rock of Salvation. I bought and read your book. I thank God that your testimony will be an eye opener go those trapped in this situation.

[@spm9130]

Oh our God is a forgiving Father and He heals and mends our brokenness. I love Viato's confidence and I pray that the Lord helps her to raise her children well and in the Lord. Thanks Madam Speaker for this interview. Please share the name of her first book. ❤❤❤

[@jedidiahgodsbeloved6605]

I weathered the storms

[@vuvutshemese4364]

Thank you madam Speaker for bringing us Vianto. Her story is touching and I like the way, she is now raising her kids.

[@GraceMoyo-q4z]

Sis Ntombenhle um learning a lot from ngabantwana thank you a lot...there have different father

[@Mase_DeeKay]

I am happy I sat through the entire podcast. Very important lessons about life and decision making and most importantly taking responsibility. Sometimes self limiting beliefs keep us away from our destiny. I pray for everyone to be more discerning in choosing our life partners and most importantly partners that are worth having children with so we do not unnecessarily burden future generations 🙏🏽

[@humbulanimulaudzi6459]

Hi Khomotso

[@noxolosakang6547]

Yhoo kuningier. uxolo for what you went through Ntombentle. No one should go through this.

[@xoliswakali15]

Ntombenhle! Qishe wafa... But I'm so glad you made it. I love you sissy ❤️

[@nomthandazomaqina1967]

Im so happy that you forgave yourself. Forgiving self is the hardest thing to do 😢

[@kagisoramane8596]

Wow thank you so much for this ladies. I learned so much from this interview as I can also relate with most parts of her experiences

[@Chloesalilchef]

May God bless you dear

[@faithsambo1609]

Such an aunthetic conversation…ihave learned alot

[@bridgetsebolai6207]

Powerful women of God both so beautiful and intelligent. To Sis V stay strong and keep your eyes on the Lord he will fulfill your heart desires ❤️❤️❤️💕💕🙌🙌🙏🏽🙏🏽👏🏽👏🏽✨✨

[@therealmncwanegwabeni7263]

An excellent interview from a woman who has done the work to heal herself 1st.

[@mokgohloentsoane7607]

Dating and further going on to marry a kind person is a must hleng yoh!

[@Phumie_Nesane]

I’m just in tears 😭 ur story same as mine 😔

[@baatsebamashego334]

🤗

[@SithembileMasilela-wk4gj]

Eyyyyyi Vianto's story has so many lessons

[@joycesebati4695]

Thank you so much for the interview and i can relate to so many things and it was quite a healing to me

[@madams___speaker]

You’re most welcome 🤗 ❤️

[@nicolagerman7818]

Thank you madam speaker tuning in from Jamaica

[@nthabisengmasikila4543]

Wow what a phenomenal woman she is❤😊 we sight u ma'am....much much much love 😍

[@evachiane7167]

Wow, the most beautiful soul VIANTO❤

[@theodolitemathebula7847]

This woman is wise❤️❤️❤️

[@joannajewell_dreams]

Why are these minister 'men of God' so abusive??? My eyes really got opened up after coming across your channel.

[@madams___speaker]

Thank you so much. This affirmation 🙌❤️

[@matlalampho4304]

I think it’s because most of them have childhood wounds that are not healed, and they don’t go for therapy. Just because they are ministers it will heal whatever wounds they have, and those wounds become magnified in relationships especially romantic ones. They can act in the public eye,but their true colours show more in romantic relationships.

[@chantalpearlmashele891]

99% of these men of God are broken and they use their platform at church and the status as a confidence booster. They are broken by their upbringing. Most of them only find confidence on the stage and when you get to know them you will realise that what they live at church is totally different from who they really are at home and with their family. The contrast between the man you see at church and the man you live with on a daily basis is a huge contrast. It's as though when they are at church they are living a correction of the lives they live and how they behave at home

[@emilyshilakoe8884]

Why do I feel like your telling my story, only difference I lived with him and his family in the same house. He was a huge part of my life. We were together for 11 years and had Triplets with him.

[@boitumelomoripa8271]

This is 🔥 .When should wr expect the full interview

[@nomalizonomganga3022]

What a beautiful interview ❤

[@nomvula_zwane]

I love VIANTO ❤

[@maggiemwangi8026]

Am a first viewer and soo glad that I did! Madam speaker you're an amazing interviewer. You ask the right questions that makes the story to flow without getting lost. I loved it! To vianto, thanks for sharing your story. I can relate soo much with what you've gone through. Am soo encouraged. How can I get your book?

[@LungeloTjatji]

Such a genuine conversation ❤

[@madams___speaker]

Thank you ❤️❤️

[@shatadimadihlaba9514]

Powerful shame 😢...... Thanks for sharing 🙏

[@madams___speaker]

Thanks for listening❤️

[@xoliswakali15]

So many lessons to be learned...

[@shemaneexpressdeliveriespt8869]

Beautiful narration Ma'am, unfortunately, your daughters will be a third generation of a broken family. This shines brightly on the role ladies play in traumatizing their daughters (referring to your Mom)

[@lesley_lezley]

❤️❤️❤️ I know exactly what she's talking about.

[@madams___speaker]

Very relatable 😢😢❤❤

[@KhethoMaduna-u4d]

I love he❤❤❤❤

[@prettyleremi9748]

My heart breaks for my daughter her father passed when she was 2 yrs

[@Blacklist_Entertainment]

Waitsi rea ithuta how do you take a loan for a man who’s not working n still expect him to pay for it ? From the relationship with the married man, was her depression caused by the relationship ending the way it did n I wonder if the wife responded to her letter. I love how xe takes accountability of her actions. There’s a saying that what God joined together no man shall separate.

[@fifisenna6839]

😢😢I so much relate in some parts of her story 😭😭😭

[@TheBlessedGrace]

Amazing ladies ❤🙏

[@phumzamakhamba9325]

I do feel for that wife sana, money being given to other kids who’s kids are not his but his ex mistress.. yoooo marriage

[@zandimkhwanazi9136]

She is more loving 🥰 ooh!! You can say that again❤❤.

[@cosmic_sunflower3864]

He said "I'm not going to work" 😮😢 Yessssess Men 😅 Who must sebenza ngoku? As women we must protect ourselves seriously and our wallets must be almost non-existent in a man's presence.

[@joannajewell_dreams]

Love her story. Thanks for sharing.

[@madams___speaker]

Glad you enjoyed it❤️

[@LethoHali]

What a beautiful ending! Thanks for sharing your story sis Vianto!

[@joannajewell_dreams]

It's very sad that she doesn't understand the love of a father. A husband/ boyfriend is supposed to be there for job interviews/ car breakdowns etc. That was not fatherly love....That was looking for love in the wrong places... God bless her on her journey and for being so opened.

[@Monei2608]

Maybe you should say "she did not understand not she doesnt"

[@DzunyB]

I agree with her on the issue of raising her kids equally. Children should be raised to know to be each other's keeper despite being different in half of their DNA. I do however still feel sorry for her that she doesn't know the love of a father, if only parents knew what absence does to a child's psych in the long run 😢

[@gabrielthuu]

No matter what that will never work if I know your mum was a reason my Mum cried because she was cheating with my Dad why have a relationship

[@angelgqweta78]

So real. ❤

[@humbulanimulaudzi6459]

Where do we get the STORY OF MADAM Speaker? Who is she? Who is the Ex? What happened to her? Lol is she Married?

[@eurekadikiyak5417]

Love love to you Vianto ❤

[@therealmncwanegwabeni7263]

She must take the dead beat 4 mantainance or report him to his pastor. Sad that the older child has to forego her rightful portion of maintenance, to accommodate the other kids whose dad is a deadbeat father. But I understand her thinking even though I dnt agree with it 100%. It can have the opposite effect, too.

[@lettitiasambumbu1266]

I feel like we church girls sinamashwa even though we pray.

[@hellensithole459]

Ntombenhle 🙌😭💔

[@humbulanimulaudzi6459]

Treat the kids the same - does not matter which father gives more or less -

[@lesibamashaba3898]

Gents take your kids and live with them, that raising kids equally thing is absolute nonsense....imagine your child suffering because she has fatherless siblings

[@tsakanimugari9583]

I'm a woman and I agree

[@leron2375]

True 😢

[@lusandapretty6478]

. Dating a. Married man and we are the perfect match he makes. Me. Happy I.make him. Happy as well.

[@lesedi973]

I afraid of marriage..... I really wish the youth would really understand the profound meaning behind the phrases: mmago ngwana o swara thipa ka bogaleng, bitla la mosadi ke bogadi.

[@tshoarelomphahlele7543]

Marriage is beautiful! Ge le ka swara taba ya mogologolo ge a re mosadi o swara thipa ka bogaleng le gore monna ke tlou o ja mere yohle re tlo bona manyalo a sa fele

[@nokuthulazimu2156]

We love VIANTO this side ❤️

[@madams___speaker]

We do too babe ❤️❤️

[@humbulanimulaudzi6459]

@@madams___speaker Yes Madam

[@kitsokebaitse7814]

I LOVE THE LAST PART ABOUT THE CHILDREN ...I AGREE WITH U 💯❤️I SO LOVE UR KIDS EQUALLY...U HAVE THE MIND OF GOD SISI

[@motlagomangmankgomelaphela1051]

Not in a bad way but i feel like this lady still loves the 1st guy

[@marynamakhoma5477]

Kanti what is the name of her book, I thought we would get a link

[@Nunec]

I wonder what exact reason the husband gave for leaving the marriage coz he obviously did not say it is because you do not have enough money for me

[@madams___speaker]

That’s what she said actually. She was out of money to maintain his lifestyle so he had to move on to someone who can afford to

[@thabangmalepe1663]

Am waiting

[@madams___speaker]

❤❤❤❤I see you sis. I need you here on the couch 🛋️

[@thabangmalepe1663]

That can be arranged... 😂😂😂

[@victoriousntimbani5817]

I'm so sorry if it was mentioned, I probably missed it, what is the name of the book?

[@Refiloe_LPA]

At 5:47 she mentions it. I can't hear properly.

[@chipsy27]

I never experinced fatherly love my stepmother ruined my life😢

[@DzunyB]

Step mothers have power only if the father gives it to them. Even with this lady's dad, it was a ridiculous excuse to say it was his mom, if he wanted to have a relationship with her he could've.

[@LethoHali]

Where do we get the book?

[@zuzuh5755]

Yooh! There was a hot debate on twitter spaces,about providing fathers and those who never provide. Can you imagine everytime your dad buy you somethong nice,the mother sell it in order to buy for other siblings. If a father buy his daughter an I phone or adidas tracksuits ,,then the mother sell it and buy same things as 6year old. Its clear that one providing fathers are now supposed to take care of other kids jst bcs their fathers are deadbeat. Im not in such situation so I dont know how wld I handle it. But one thing for sure,I can never buy my 18 year old daughter the same clothes or fones like 6 year old. Even if its my money.

[@manakaneportia5386]

Yeah neh some men though

[@sbozification]

Yho sana these "men of God". Why are they like this. 😭

[@ntoshxama-jp3lw]

I wonder if the wife is aware that her husband is supporting two more children. I hope your baby daddy is transparent with his wife and not compromising his own family in the process of tying to assist you. Some man turn to abandon thier financial responsibility in thier family while trying to help other people, then the wife must close the gap.

[@nkosiyaphamazibuko89]

donating once in a while doesn't amount to him supporting her kids bandla, yoh... and she mentioned that he is a great father to his daughter he had with the wife

[@tsakanimugari9583]

That's what I was thinking, supporting kids that are not his 😢after the cheating with the Sam woman

[@ntombenhlemabena7096]

No dear. He doesn't support my other kids, he supports his child. But once a while he'd give extra

[@humbulanimulaudzi6459]

I am in that situation where I am in love with a wman with one kid - I love both of them - even wanted to marry second one but first wont allow - why is that women wont allow us to do so?

[@humbulanimulaudzi6459]

U did not listen to the whole video

[@bojangmekgwe3205]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@loveylovings3296]

❤ ❤ ❤

[@thndythemedtech2143]

I feel like she was moving too fast Every is fast forward I wish there was build up to the conversation

[@ntombenhlemabena7096]

The rest is in the book doll.