Part 5: INTP Relationships (Friends and Romantic)

Part 5! Relationships can be a challenge for INTPs. Here are my thoughts on the matter!
Snapchat: EricTheINTP
Let me know if there is anything, or questions, you'd like me to cover as an INTP! :D

[@aniketzankebusinessandstra3302]

"Well, there are several different variables." Very INTP moment in other words "It depends....". XD

[@causmosis]

A 14 minute video, with thousands of words, and I came down here to write this same comment.

[@Raaraadragon]

I like to be hugged-INFP

[@preciousmckinney8319]

I think that I'm mostly an intp and I have a love hate relationship with personality tests because so many different things depend on the situation for me.

[@dollarbar1]

Yes, I strongly believe that..well, maybe not.

[@XXXMUXICISLIFEXXX]

It's so funny cause when you explain things you're kind of all over the place and i feel like generally, other people would find that confusing or irritating but I totally get you and I realized I do the same thing. Now I know what I look like to others when I try to elaborate on a certain subject.

[@helseyrivera3280]

XXXMUXICISLIFEXXX I was thinking the same thing; Im INTP and I felt like I was watching myself trying to explain 😂💕

[@danjal87nl]

Seconded. As a fellow INTP my brain is able to pick up those tangential thoughts and simply slot them into the right place after the fact. Rather than losing track of the context.

[@malikcollins9388]

I didn't even know he was jumping everywhere. Also, I take into account who and how they touched me. The I start questioning why they touch me. Is this really how practical gratification is showed?

[@zauberholz8357]

INFP here, I'm the same. Must be an Aux Ne thing. My ISFJ sister will say, "Wait, so to be clear you're saying this. And this. Right? OK, go on...." It can be a little interruptive to where my thoughts were going - I just expect her to link them up as I go along, I suppose! Sometimes I'll just give up and then her Fe is engaged and she won't let it drop because she feels bad for not understanding xD

[@hrikishrestha84]

thats the exact me. i even thought myself as from some another world ,completely different from others around me. i even consulted psychiatrist wondering i f i became weird.

[@calebchandler8151]

It's incredible to watch you speak. It's like I'm listening to a clone of myself.

[@nn793]

True. It's like my TED Talks at shower time XD

[@Pizzahutbaby]

Ikr this is literally how I speak. When I'm in a good mood the rest of the day I'm kinda in a doze or trance.

[@scratchoriginalsdh]

I’m feeling this. I have tested as Intj, but recently have discovered the Intp makes more sense. This video shows me to myself, but unfortunately, so do Intj monologues. 🙄😂😂

[@Fanny-bm8gq]

As an INTP, I feel you on so many points. My main issue is that I cannot trust guys in a relationship because I always wonder if they really like the real "me" (akward, quirky, struggling with showing my emotions) or if they just like my appearance/features/body. And most of the time, I realize that they are annoyed by my atypical personality, they don't want to know me on a deeper level, but they stay because I look good, I'm nice and sometimes funny. But it's just superficial. It's not love. I would like to find a pure love one day, someone who unconditionnally accepts me for who I am. I think I'm gonna stay alone, it is less hurtful. (Sorry, English is not my first language).

[@pol610]

Obviously guys would judge on the outer shell of a person. Maybe you probably do too (idk), hence why you meet a mismatch on personality. Or maybe the guy is just using a persona to get his way with you (again idk). Mind if I ask, do you put on a persona or a facade infront of guys 'cause it most likely will shock them. I mean you yourself were shocked that the guy can't accept you when he knew what you are like.

[@Fanny-bm8gq]

@@pol610 No, I don't put a facade or anything... My point was: I know I'm a bit atypical, I don't hide it, and I know that's not for everyone. Even if my personality does not appeal them, they keep chasing me, building a relationship with me, then they try to change me ("why are you so quiet all the time?", "you're so strange"). I feel like they only stay for superficial reasons, which annoys me a lot because I'm looking for an authentic connexion.

[@pol610]

​@@Fanny-bm8gq on behalf of my gender, I apologize that those are the type of person that you encountered. Good that you are aware, however due to past experiences may cloud your view of a guy who may be genuine. If I may ask, what aspect of you did these guys wanted to change. It may be understandable if this characteristic were negative in nature. And if it were multiple changes to the point that you will be a different person altogether based on the guy's ideals then your anger is justifide. Keep in mind though, humans are susceptible to change. Maybe you are prideful to not change and could be the reason why it doesn't work out. Both you and the guy should change to coexist. It's just too good to be true if someone will just love you and be someone based on your expectations. It could probably happen, if so then good for you. (This is just my opinion on a perspective of someone who doesn't fully know you or your situation)

[@mismiserables]

I thought I was the only one who experienced this. I think it's best I stay alone also.

[@fabianbianan]

I'm a male INTP and I can somewhat relate to that as well. I always feel like the other person thinks I'm boring and ugly and only spends time with me because there is nobody else for them to spend time with. I have huge trust issues in general ever since my first love randomly cheated on me with a stranger. She wasn't even able to tell me why exactly she did it, she just felt like it. Obviously for me that is way to illogical and even today (3 years later) I'm still thinking about it and want to know what I did wrong to learn from my mistakes, but well... we all know that I will most likely never be able to find the answer to that. Guess I'll be stuck in this Ti Ne loop for forever. :(

[@lydiasullivan6717]

I feel the same way about the touching thing. I actually really like physical affection, but I don't like to be touched randomly by people I'm not close with because I know 99% of the time it doesn't mean anything to them. It's like touch is more intimate or something, because even a hand on the shoulder can be uncomfortable if only for its proximity to my neck. It's like an aversion to being touched that isn't really an aversion to touch, just to casual intimacy. Same for some of the other stuff too. I have standards that are somewhat specific, and hold myself to same, but for anything else I know I could work around it and so it's almost always a preference that something be a certain way. Like simultaneously being the pickiest and least picky person; actually that applies to food too, I like certain foods specifically but I won't care about how it's made. The 'tendency to overshare' thing is also something I catch myself doing. I like to think that I have walls made of glass, there's very little about myself that I won't tell upon being asked, but I won't volunteer the information. I've found that it's the best way to prevent making other people uncomfortable; if you are willing to share, but don't bring up anything that they don't ask for or isn't immediately important. (As a fellow INTP, I could go on and on, but I'm going to cut myself off so I don't spend an hour typing out a comment)

[@lilrosebush]

Fuckkkkkkkk stoppp

[@elleichigo2894]

lilrosebush no one is forcing you to read it

[@lilrosebush]

@@elleichigo2894 sarcasm must be your intellectual kryptonite

[@acharich]

Wow, very interesting.. My INTP friend said yesterday that I overshared with her for the first time.. I guess that's what she meant, and I guess that's unintentional projection of the standards y'all hold urselves to.. 💭💭💭

[@shannonthejeepgirl]

I’m a female INTP and I’m almost 45. I have struggled with relationships my entire life and I’ve broken a lot of hearts and hurt a lot of feelings because of that “all in” passionate loyalty but I get so bored so quickly because I pick guys who are not super emotionally available because I really like to have my own space and guys who want a serious commitment don’t understand that sometimes I don’t want to talk all day because I’m busy in my head. It’s hard when you are more interested in figuring people out than you are really getting to know them. Because once you figure them out, it’s like alright what’s next?

[@gurlycash7394]

So it doesn't get better? Does anyone know how to make this love stuff work?

[@condotiero860]

Two schools of thought on this: 1) We set the bar too high for ourselves, putting love out of reach, feeling unworthy of being loved 2) Being hopeless romantics, chasing the next high. Having observed other types in love i cant tell you neither is love. I'd prolly fall in the first one. INTPs have a bad habit of having too high expectations, so i try to put more effort into a relationship to make it work. Or maybe that's because im a guy Idk. My problem atm is being unable to pick up on cues, but i gave up trying a long time ago so yeah.

[@user-nu4gp3er4f]

@Mr X xactly, thats what narcissists do and they end up old, alone, worthless and in just a pretty bad life. ok thaat was a bit exaggerated but the point was made. My problems are not finding anyone who i like that is morally decent enough..

[@theslothmama525]

INFJ married to my INTP for 24 years. Got married at 19. You will find that mind mate. Don’t change who you are, it will happen🌷

[@akashee5013]

My current bf is most likely an INFJ and I won't deny, it's hard to believe that someone like him could even exist like he understands me, solves conflict even when I play devil's advocate etc. etc. It's always nice to see INFJs and INTPs together.

[@michi4066]

As a female INTP, yes, I relate strongly. Specifically when it comes to romantic relationships, something similar happens to me, where, physically, I've been told I'm quite attractive, so there's always someone who is interested, but I'm either too picky or I'm not sure if I'm actually interested in them too. Because feeling are really confusing and I don't understand myself. I often look for external signs or objective truths to determine if I'm interested in someone, because, internally, I might as well be trying to understand a foreign language. So, at the end of the day, I've never dated anyone and I feel really awkward about these things. I also struggle with figuring out if others are interested, but that's another topic entirely.

[@elartz5669]

You're not alone.

[@milkcatdog394]

Yes I understand what you mean. It’s hard for me to also understand myself… when I try to figure out what’s going on internally I feel like I’m dealing with a blank wall. There are vague semblance of feeling… but I’m left with almost nothing to see the big picture. There’s this wall around me from other people, and i often feel like I come off as standoffish and robotic but I would like more genuine connections. I have also never dated anyone, and this makes me feel more like a robot.

[@gingerbreadmen5401]

Man feel you

[@girlblogger3524]

on friendships: I agree with the struggle to find someone to dive deeply with. I have known mostly STJs as friends and out of kindness will hear me out on a topic for as long as they can hold out ... but then they tend to get headaches after a while .. the talk becomes too abstract and it must feel like we're just beating a dead horse after a while .... not sure if you experienced this? it leaves me feeling like, "hey, we're just getting started!"

[@EricTheINTP]

I totally understand. I actually have not had too many S's in my life. My grandpa is an ISTJ, and I think my Uncle, we definitely have difficulty understanding one another. They like to stay on the ground while you and I like to be free in the expanse of the heavens. It is challenging. Props to you for sticking with them! I don't know how you do it. I do have an ISTP friend. His 'P' definitely helps, allowing him to want to understand what I'm trying to say. And same with me to him.

[@danjal87nl]

Oh god, that happens so often... I've come across so very few people that can remotely keep up with me mentally, and as a direct result I have practically zero experience with any form of deeper relationship because I couldn't stand being in a relationship with someone who couldn't keep up with me.

[@true.neutral5760]

(intp female) i can relate to a lot of what you're saying. when i start a relationship with someone, i'm looking at them as a potential lifelong partner, not something temporary. im probably waay too idealistic about who i'm looking for and i know what i want in a person. although i've made mistakes before by disregarding that n just jumping into relationships w people just because i wanted to see if it would work out. i don't do that now though. now it's the opposite, i barely am interested in anyone because no one has exactly what i want. also, i'm not big on the touching either, although for me it's that i'm not sure how to take any kind of touching, i don't feel completely comfortable with it. it may be because i've never had a substantial relationship with anyone to that extent, so i don't know what kind of touching is good? i dont know hm. maybe im too young. i have a tendency to back out of relationships before they even get started. in that sense, i may be different than you because my longest relationship only lasted a month and my shortest a day. that's kind of concerning. i mainly back out of relationships because i don't feel like i can commit to the person wholeheartedly and deep down i want to be truthful and faithful so if i feel i can't do it for them, i'd rather cut it short before anyone gets hurt. anyways, i think it's also funny you talked about going after girls who were into sports and art. I can relate to that as i am one of those rare art jocks. track and running is awesome and drawing is my passion, i'm going into college for an animation degree. nice video, i appreciate being able to find people on the youtube who have similar struggles

[@lesliebrian7042]

This is ummm..literally me..only you're better than me..I can't put everything I had in mind simply in words..I just can't

[@user-nu4gp3er4f]

wow just like me (also intp female).. also shortest relationship was a day and longest a month too. and I'm like 25. I'm in the same boat as you. I'd rather be single if I cant find someone I like enough. it's crazy how two different people from different parts of the world can go through the same things to this extent haha

[@pol610]

As much as I or every INTP out there dislike it, we have to change because think about it even if you keep on using the same formula you still won't get the right answer unless you use a different formula, a little tweak or an overall change.

[@user-nu4gp3er4f]

@@pol610 Change in what sense? Im happy being single :p

[@elisa.v9730]

This sounds rather infp

[@janovmi2]

im INTP without any relationships, not even friends ...

[@aevanoparaiso7429]

My husband has no friends, he is an INTP I don't know how he copes.

[@sorinalexandroiu]

@@aevanoparaiso7429 He has you. For us, having one or two loving people in our lives that understand us and accept and appreciate our personality is far more important than having a large group of people that just tolerate us without actually including us in their ranks. We like fewer but meaningful relationships. I, personally, dislike shallowness and the hypocrisy that comes from people that pretend to like you and smile through their teeth while their whole face expression and reaction to my presence or to what I just told them is "what a weirdo!"

[@condotiero860]

then get some... no family, work? You dont need a reason to get drunk with friends, rent an escort, mail-a-bride

[@LUVQX]

I have both but deep inside i know they're not as intimate as "my people" think they are and that's sad...

[@helpmefortheloveofshrek6623]

I had friends, but I pulled a stupid and isolated myself from them.

[@r.emym_]

INFJs love INTPs! (At least in my experience)

[@nmefdappl]

But why?

[@iam-kai]

I'm an INTP and the only true friend I've ever had was a INFJ. I think at least one reason why (and there are many) is that INFJs are big picture thinkers and an INTP are able to authentically see, appreciate and conceptualize the intellectual depth they bring. Conversely the INFJ gives the INTP a larger picture of life that they've never had considered before because we are so detailed oriented. Which opens up the INTP's ability to rationalize, organize and appreciate the vastness of not only the world but the interiorities of other people. I've also always enjoyed the straightforward blunt challenge that the INFJ has always employed because it gets me thinking deeper about a situation it gets me conceptualizing new pathways to success and a greater understanding of myself. I think that for an INFJ it's nice to finally have somebody that appreciates their sacrifice because and INFJ is living out truth (INFJs value truth above all other things) and to have someone that appreciates truth as deeply as they do Is to let them know that they are seen and loved. I think they really appreciate that we deconstruct their worldview and reconstruct it within ourselves so as to understand them. This builds a bond of loyalty, growth, and sincerity. After they have spent a long enough time together they begin to see eye to eye and real communication finally becomes possible. Personally it's the heathy challenge that lets me know I'm loved. It means to me that they are thinking about who I am and what I need. So few of the other types understand this.

[@dulcesancho3550]

Absolutely! At least I do too.

[@zab1820]

@@iam-kai Omg, your comment just helped me figure out the relationship between two characters I've been trying to write about. An INTP with an INFJ. I really needed this :c This INFP thanks you. (Sorry if my English is bad)

[@elartz5669]

@@iam-kai yessssss! This! I really love my intj boyfriend T T!

[@katrinasimpson8321]

This was amazing. You were so honest, I love that! I'm an INFP but I agree with so many things you said. I am always amazed on how many similarities INTPs and I have on deep a level. It's like a sigh of relief that I'm not the only one who thinks that way! Of course I was mistyped as an INTP when I was younger, maybe that is why? Idk...

[@Dagothdaleet]

I’m very surprised that so many others have issues with touching/being touched. I too am an INTP and have always found it very awkward. I had a hard time if people’s legs touched mine if we were on a couch or the backseat of a car. With dating, I don’t usually want to hold hands with someone. It’s very difficult for others. Glad to see I’m not alone in that.

[@leanakincheloe]

I’m an INFP married to an INTP. This is challenging at times but full of love, passion, intellectual conversations, and happiness. We started off as long distance and we spent the first year just communicating all the time. With a few visits in between. I really feel like this was key in our success and helped us to understand each other well. After we began living together it even furthered not only the bond but we learned how to exist cohesively. It’s the most wonderful and peaceful relationship I’ve had and I couldn’t ask for a better partner.

[@Jesusjunkie402]

INFP in relationship with an INTP. We were in LDR and just recently moved in together.

[@leanakincheloe]

Jesus junkie beautiful! I wish you both a happy life together. 🤗❤️

[@wack_sage5353]

I have never really been able to put into words why my friendships or relationships feel like they are at arms length, but you have summed my thoughts up quite nicely. I too have found myself diving deeply into romantic relationships way too quickly and have scared women away because of how upfront and honest I am about my intentions. The whole touch issue is exactly how I think too. I think that touching is like sacred and if I don’t have a strong, deep mental and emotional connection with a person, it freaks me out when they touch me. This video has helped me to better understand and improve myself as an INTP. Keep it up bro.

[@nautical81]

Find a like minded INFJ. My husband is an INTP, and our marriage is awesome! (One of the things I most valued about him in our years long friendship before he finally confessed his feelings, was that he wasn't in and out of meaningless relationships. It helped me recognize his sincerity in pursing ME when it evolved to that.)

[@perciousmatter7001]

Thats beautiful!!! ❤❤❤❤

[@zionrosareal8167]

Wow, I want to have this one in the future 💝

[@valej9387]

I can ABSOLUTELY relate to being the athletic nerd, and having trouble bridging that gap WITH someone. -Female INTP

[@cheetodust1700]

I'm an 18 yr old Intp-t, in my experience with relationships or interests, I've found that there's always an uncertainty of if I truly like them in that manner. I would much prefer to stay out of a relationship than try to be in one. This is because I can mostly only see the negatives of the possible relationship and how it would impact me. Sounds selfish but I prioritize stability and peace first. Although that's not to say that I won't try out a relationship. I need to be confident that we could be a right fit, so I would try to become friends and get to know you better to be sure of my decision.

[@selectman6352]

I'm the exact same. I find myself very uncomfortable with a dominant partner because they like to try and drag me out of my hobbies and comforts. I'm hoping to meet someone someday who understands that.

[@eclectic_e]

wow! same- Iam an 18yr old intp-a (I 'm not positive on the the -t/a scale but 'a' is more probable) I completely agree. I'ld rather stay out of it then enter a relationship confused and hurt the person.

[@iamsoohappy]

I've watched several of your videos and enjoyed them thoroughly. I'm an INFJ and we seem to have 'very' similar mannerisms, outlooks, and thought processes. Thank you for your posts and for your authentic sincerity.

[@charity4613]

you look like that guy from scooby doo

[@captainstark5496]

Yaaaaarr! That's what I was trying to remember yes he looks like the one who stays with scooby

[@somrajsaha3215]

Shaggy?

[@yusurkassem4174]

I have been friends with my friends for nearly 7 years, and I’m still not as close with them as they are with people they’ve known for like a year. It’s just so hard to make very close and intimate relationships with people and friends

[@GiannaDianthee]

“I have the physical nature of a jock but the brain of a nerd” :’) I find what you say about attracting drastically different characters as a result really interesting. + I despise the idea of “testing the waters” people’s feelings aren’t to be toyed with. If I choose someone I am entirely ready. I enjoyed this, I felt like I was part of a conversation with you!

[@EricTheINTP]

I'm glad that you felt apart of the conversation! When I rewatch these I do feel a little awkward because I see myself as processing on camera rather than engaging an audience lol. Testing the waters is awful and I'm sad that it is normal for people to approach relationships that way. It is easy to feel used and not appreciated...and constantly walking on egg shells. Because once you step on something they don't like, boom! no longer interested. Not many try to work things out. Glad to hear you found the attracting interesting. It has been a terrible thing for me haha. I also am an older child with my dad as a middle child and my mom is an oldest as well. I take on some characteristics from my dad as a middle child, which would attract certain individuals, but then my "older child" phycology would sneak out and turn the tables. I'm just gonna stand on my head for the rest of my life haha just to physically express my own contradictions.

[@GiannaDianthee]

It’s always a lil awks watching videos back but you’re honestly so natural in front of the camera. I feel like I come across so differently in my videos in comparison to how I am when conversing with someone. I’m yet to properly adjust to it all. Absolutely, people seem to think that love is purely instinctual but it’s both a skill and a choice. It requires generosity and tolerance and not running for this hills when you encounter someone’s flaws. I hope with age and meeting more people that you draw in people who can be a balance of things! hahaha a walking contradiction? or the best of both worlds? (A better phrase haha?)

[@EricTheINTP]

Well I am glad to hear! haha. I do believe we do come across differently because a camera just sits and stares at you, until it falls or something lol, but a person reacts to everything you say making you change tone, posture, and mood (at least I do). You seemed to be confident and clear in your videos! That is so true... this somehow needs to be in the minds of people. I wonder where this came from? Or how it got to be in this place, if it once was different in another time. Haha I don't know what it is...but it makes me hungry thinking about it. Though that was years ago with the separate people. I'm 24 now. I don't really experience that contradiction anymore, sometimes while in college. But there still are plenty of more contradictions I face in my later 20s lol

[@GiannaDianthee]

Yep you’re defs right! & thank you! I definitely think romanticism is to blame + the culture around dating. I could go on but I think it’s best to keep to a minimum in your comments section! haha yea you’re better off not idealising the future! :’)

[@EricTheINTP]

Most definitely! Haha I don't mind but thank you for commenting. I appreciate it! :)

[@rplmhzrk17]

This was so honest, vulnerable and insightful. Thank you for sharing. I'm not intp ( I'm intj) but some of the things you said, I could relate to them so much. Especially the part about the fierce loyalty ( and the attached expectation from it and people failing to reciprocate it) and the thing about touch and intimacy. However for me it's more of how they talk to me and treat me, not actual physical touch. If somebody treats me a little specially I tend to read too much into it and even when I know this person is just being friendly and nice and maybe they have a flirty nature about themselves I still can't help starting to get attached emotionally ( not just romantically, just talking about relationships in general) And then it sucks when you find out that you don't mean anything to them. People are so difficult to read Also I don't hug people ( I only let a few close friends hug me because they seem to love hugging) but I kind of want to give you a hug right now. You're a good person. Keep growing 🤗

[@soulstar3947]

Passionate loyalty!!!! YES! Thank you for verbalizing that one!! And thank you for this video, I don’t feel that weird anymore since you explain every aspect of INTP personality really well (and I don’t mind the scattered thoughts here at all), especially here with relationships, I feel like I’m not alone in all that hidden emotional chaos that’s been going on inside my head for a while 😂💪🏻💪🏻 Eric you are great, keep up the good work explaining us INTPs to the world :)))

[@SleepMarshes1]

being touched is definitely a private, inner-circle-only thing for me too. i can barely make it through a handshake-- social touching between strangers feels like a violation of not only my personal space but just my principles. it's a visceral reaction. as for relationships, i do also go all or nothing, at least in terms of loyalty, but i definitely would not change anything fundamental to me for the sake of someone else. behaviors i would, though, if something i do hurts my partner emotionally. the relationship i'm in now, i've been in for 12 years, but when it first started i did feel something was missing. it took about a year into the relationship when i finally communicated that to my partner, and he made a greater effort at trying to understand *me*. it took time, but now he is my best translator/interpreter of my intp word vomiting, and my closest friend. we both had to mature a bit and get better at communicating to get that connection that i think we all really seek. anyway blah blahing aside you'll figure it out, dude

[@improvisedchaos8904]

I proposed to my girlfriend of 7 months because I deduced she was the one for me. I think she said yes for emotional reasons, which I have given up attempting to rationalize with. But "if it fits it sits" seems applicable here. INTP btw. *Edit* The deduction was reasoned because; she loves my quirks - those that I can acknowledge as a giant shard of glass in the sandbox.

[@HelpMyDeen]

i'm intrigued to know, what is her mbti type?

[@improvisedchaos8904]

@@HelpMyDeen she is an ENFP. We are married now; loving it. Edit* coming up on 7 months married.

[@martenberke457]

I honestly can't believe how many things you've said that I feel the exact same way about. I think I nodded and agreed with you throughout the entire video. Kudos to you for being able to even slightly put this mindset into words. Keep up the good work and I look forward to laughing along with you on this INTP journey.

[@HeroinesReflection]

As an infj i find your way of thinking, willingness to change and grow is very attractive, so hang in there. Its just about finding yourself a real connection with someone who wants the same thing, when you can at least see the other person doing something back that indicates that its going well ,or perhaps a discussion on what you're looking for, may help. Good luck!

[@rionka]

Man, I can understand you so much, and I love how you're consistently thinking through the whole video, it makes me feel better with my own thinking process. Hugs, INTP rionka

[@ASMRrespite]

I feel like I'm watching myself have a conversation where all the points in my head bottleneck at my mouth, and i can see now how that is frustrating from an outside perspective and why my marriage coach said i needed to improve my ability to communicate! To your relationship points, I married a wonderful, emotional ISFJ that doesn't understand me at all, and for harmony, I operated at his comfort level because I had been told my entire life to change my INTP-ness. Be happier, be more approachable, stop being so serious, think about how others feel... critical thinking was not encouraged. I didn't understand that ignoring my fundamental way of being wouldn't be sustainable... 13 years later, I decided to stop doing that and seek validation in my relationship in my true INTP glory, and now we have problems because there is a lack of understanding and he desperately wants to understand. The hardest part is having befriended an ENTJ, I've never felt more understood and loved (without trying) and validated in my life and now I'm seeking that level of depth in my relationship and it isn't fundamentally possible. I encourage all INTPs to avoid this scenario.

[@captainyossarian388]

I love your vids, dude, please keep it up. Very therapeutic for this INTP.

[@Meolbwa7474]

As an INTP, watching your videos make me feel home. Thanks for all your work. The way you talk, approach ideas and deal with life is so similar with mine. It makes me comfortable and less lonely.

[@twistedwisdom4277]

Finding connections is extremely hard. 🙄

[@rosl.]

I just try to vent a little bit about something personal or deep. And they either say "I feel you bcuz..." or "oof". If they say something like they can relate they usually elaborate.it gets people to open up too and after they both hear about something I wanted to get of my chest, and something they wanted to get off their chest it makes it feel like we both know each other a little more and trust each other a LOT more.

[@Octobris]

I have a new friend who is a typical INTP so that's how I found this video. Honestly what you're saying here is quite helpful. I value this guy very much. He is an awesome conversationalist and to me his mind is like a treasure chest. Also it's been a while since I felt that type of connection with someone. The last thing I want to do is to make him feel uncomfortable, for example with my eagerness to interact. My actions come from the mindset of "I wanna be there for you" but I don't ever want to be too much. So hearing what you say about your experiences and INTP relationships is valuable. This video gave me another perspective and will definitely help with figuring out what is the best way to approach my friendship. Sincerely, an INFJ :D

[@questinpodcast]

Thank you for sharing this vulnerable discussion! Super interesting, I love INTPs !

[@solidmood2855]

Extremely clear in your confusion and very relatable, the idea of being CURSED is a big one. No advice just affirmation that we are not alone

[@Friponnepolissonne]

Thank you for sharing. I know you posted this in a while, but what you said about loyalty and how people approach romantic situations in our days, resonated with how perceive my own approach to intimacy (loyalty) and also my judgement about the dating world. I am not an Intp, but rather Infp. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, it is nice to listen to your videos, which are well articulated about your thoughts and impressions, it is much appreciated and they bring focus on some thoughts I have and new ones to develop.

[@justinroberts2023]

This is so funny. Dude, you’re totally explaining the extremes I think in a milli second. I’m always (when interested) I’m all in and easing in is far beyond what most are able to receive. Learning is such a process but understanding how we as intp come across is helpful in finding...

[@Theinfiniteloop333]

Spot on! Crazy! Upfront, loyal and accepting of others flaws. Went through a divorce and my mind could not wrap around how I could be so accepting of her flaws...but thats life. Love the channel, help to understand myself!👊🏻

[@carpefuego]

Powerful. Candid. This moved me

[@danjal87nl]

Oh man, so much of this is completely recognizable. Especially the diving in deep rather than playing games. When I decide someone is worth my time or effort I'm willing to commit relatively deeply rather than simply sticking in a toe and people have such a hard time dealing with it. Same for loyalty, very few, if any of my relationships (friendly and otherwise) have ended because I ended them. Usually its other people drifting off or growing away. They stop staying in touch and after a while I just... Stop bothering. They're clearly not interested. The same applies for boundaries. I don't really understand personal boundaries the way other people do. This falls in line with the investing deep when you enter a relationship. People are on the outside, untill they are not. And then I basicly don't know how to deal with them because there aren't many layers as there seem to be for other people. After my ex broke up with me, we remained friends. And there's this really awkward juxtaposition now where I'm not really sure what is appropriate when dealing with her. (It doesn't help that her boundaries are also very strange.) And usually when I become friends with someone the first few interactions end up being so intense and so much information gets exchanged - that the usual response is that they feel like they know me for much longer. As normally it takes weeks if not months for even remotely close that that amount of information to be exchanged and people to get to know one another.

[@DreamQuillRose]

I so much agree with this! All my life, I have stayed the same, and every friend I have ever had has changed in one way or another (to the point where they were just not the person I chose to befriend in the first place), or formed a new relationship with someone else and lost interest in hanging out with me. It's hard not to wonder if I should be changing, too. I am aware that people change through life experiences, but since every person I'm no longer friends with changed for the worse (usually A LOT worse), it makes me wary of having the types of life experiences people regard as milestones. I feel like I'm a good person overall, and that there's nothing wrong with being me. Also, I have a good life and don't want other people to make it worse. Yet you hear people talk about how their lives are better for having other people in them. Who is right?

[@maple_latte2669]

Funny but as an enfj that very forward "all in" sort of approach is what made intps extremely charming in my eyes I really noticed this as a common theme among intps, and their devoted nature and enthusiasm took me by surprise but I'm in awe at people like that existing. As someone who also values deep devotion and loyalty, putting your all to make a relationship work, I feel you on a personal level, when you said a fear of yours is not getting that same dedication and deep curiosity in return I FELT THAt as someone who shares the same feeling and I think that is one of the reasons that drew me into intps so much is that I finally found someone as devoted that I couldn't believe it. Overall this video was extremely interesting to me. inxp s are my favs the way you guy's mind work is something I find so fascinating that I could hear yall talk for hours

[@samf8887]

I am an INTP Christian...and female... I feel completely out of place in the universe. I think deeply and analyze my beliefs and ask a lot of questions, this is looked down upon by less analytical types in the body who just take certain things for truth that I have to test and verify. Also being a female I'm not interested in nor fit into the more traditional expectation of women being the soft warm bubbly feeling dominant type. I rarely get a long with other women, not for lack of trying, but they seem to be repelled by deep thoughtful conversation and anything not pertaining to small talk or generally accepted and unquestioned traditions and views. This video made me feel like I'm not alone as INTPs seem to be rare in our faith.

[@dutchkel]

Yes, also a Christian INTP female. Relate for sure.

[@dididogster9994]

I feel like if I were to be in a relationship we'd have to be comfortable with existing with each other without acknowledging each other. Ya know? just the need for space without it being distant.

[@Ladywren101]

Thank you for your honesty and willingness to share your vulnerability.

[@naomipeer6848]

I have been watching numerous videos regarding this topic of INTP's and relationships whether that be amical or otherwise, and what I find fascinating is as an INTP we crave relationships with others yet we feel our efforts at relationships to be insufficient. We want to satisfy the needs of those we are close with yet realise our inadequacies and get frustrated that we can't satisfy. Therefore often making ourselves believe we aren't adequate friends. But we are amazing friends and amazing partners. We are very loyal, we look out for you through sound advice, we are great fun and we care for you in our unique way!

[@elartz5669]

Awww I love your last words, make me feel special. Thanks ❤️

[@j.f.3590]

Changing will only make you like the rest of the world. Don’t change to try to fit in, maybe you are what most would love to have in a partner. Except someone like you is extremely hard to find. There is nothing wrong with the way you are, you just need to find the right person that will appreciate you for how you are and reciprocate that type of love back.

[@momsahh]

Wow! I agree 100% about being touched by people.I have issues with hugging as well, or accidental hand touching,it all weirds me out :)

[@sheflewthecoop]

I try to avoid this when I meet new people especially in a formal work setting by giving them a firm handshake right from the start. I like to think it sends the message of a firm mindset (even though I’m really wishy washy as an INTP) and keeps at bay any unnecessary social interaction :)

[@benjaminstreets1912]

The way he talks and explains things reminds me of myself as I am an INTP as well.

[@amirasadi8839]

I can relate to all that. for me the concept of touch is like a doorway to someones existential chemistry, on a level that it reaches the depths of my own. additionally I do the same thing with hugs, holding hands, and kissing. I have 2 bodies, one is my physical body which I use on my everyday life, and my second body (the intimacy, or if you want to call it, my spirit or an imaginary body), I can shape it around my physical body. For example if I hold hands with someone I truly love, I literally infuse my hand using all my soul and mental energy, and create a gateway to other person's soul (or if something that I imagine it to be), and for what I have tested through experiments(For Science! yes!). Woman can really tell the difference when I hold their hands deeply, or just physically(and it really was an amazing revelation to me). They differentiate it unconsciously, and when I was testing my hypothesis on an experiment, I was looking deeply on her face and the speed of her blinking and the depth of her eyes. She was literally changing like switching a light bulb on and off when I changed my attitude towards her(not on the same tempo though, like about 5 or 10 minutes on each side). There were other instances that I was hesitant to love someone, and I just held their hands just in a physical way.

[@kaitlin3102]

Yeah, I'm an INTP as well and relationships are definitely not my strong suit, but I'm working towards improving that.

[@busyazn]

10:15 they don't play games & are very loyal.They look at what it costs them to pursue it. They'll do whatever it takes for it to work. What do you need from me to feel loved & accepted? 12:50 Touch is extremely personal & intimate. Don't touch unless it's firm & not gentle. If it's gentle then it feels more sensual.It freaks INTPs out.It makes them feel intimately close to them.If you're not close, then it makes INTPs feel "taken aback".

[@kennethmlgaard]

I think it's really good to know that there are others out there. I found out that I am intp lately, I've been partying hard for 20 years because I felt some social acceptance. But when my daughter was born I stopped and changed my life, then it was very hard to communicate with others since I've always been drunk and didn't care what I was saying. I noticed that I had to concentrate really hard to keep the conversation on the and not start rambling off, so after a day of socializing I'm exhausted and just want to sleep it away. Now it's been 10 years since my daughter was born, and I am in a better place in life. But I'll always struggle with people.

[@1Guggaburggi]

Isfj here. I'm not sure why I understand you so well in this video. Especially on the touching part.

[@yaykittycat]

It's spooky how similar the way you talk and communicate your thoughts is to my own way of thinking and talking (INTP as well). I tried to type out the similarities, but it's hard to nail down in text; I feel like it would be easier to explain out loud in real time. Something to do with when and how you pause or emphasize words, the way you give consideration to ideas and possibilities, and all of your body language is eerily familiar.

[@nickprincipi4658]

Brother, I totally understand everything you just said, and I'm sure most people didn't because almost everyone who isn't an INTP has no idea what the fuck we are talking about half of the time! But don't worry, I get the relationship struggle we INTP's go through and I have been in a terribly painful tandem with this girl that I can't get off of my mind and it is the hardest thing to get others to understand what is happening in our heads. We work entirely differently than most other personality types but there are a select few types of people who do understand or are at least WILLING to try and understand and respect the intensity of our thought action. It has also been said that INTP's work well with INTP's so maybe what you need is an INTP like you? I've been thinking about staying open to that option (not like I can really choose) but either way, I hope all works out!

[@Scruffed]

I can relate to a lot of this, the problems with physical intimacy, being very picky with people, the deep loyalty, not doing well with small talk, not being that helpful when seeing people with problems, not playing games with women, the living in my own head... My default is to keep people at arms length (which I know irritates some people), and I'm definitely happy being alone or having a few friends that I share interests with and whose company I can enjoy, as opposed to having many friends that bore me or whose company feels like a chore. ENFJs are probably the people that I find it easiest to get along with.

[@dabujackson3455]

I was thinking & having thoughts about this, not exactly the same because we both are individuals but the concepts and ideas are on point.

[@Hemmo7]

This was like watching myself on camera. Not in the physical sense, but in regards how similar our thought process is !

[@LouisTheBlackCat]

I fail spectacularly in relationships, as you said I have intense loyalty and cannot enable any kind of victim mentality, it's not logical to stay stunted and if it's not logical I find myself dismissing it very quickly. Also these damn defence mechanisms that I wear as an initial persona successfully push people away before I feel any kind of connection that would cause me hurt if severed, great at keeping me wrapped in cotton wool, not so handy in regards to allowing myself to feel safe enough to be vulnerable enough to show the other person a level of trust. But if anyone wants to mutually isolate and look forward to but avoid all contact, hmu lol. The touch thing, heck yes, if you're touching without expressed intent get some or go get a cat - bonus points if you do I'll probably visit more often, yes I have been known to visit friends for the sole intention of chilling with their kittehs cause the hit those warm and fuzzy feels that rarely get a look in lol.

[@kaseyjones2242]

Oh my gosh I relate to this so much. I especially relate to the touch thing, like that touch is a very personal thing and feels very intimate to me. So I don't mind being touched by certain people in certain ways, or touching others in certain ways, but there are certain things that feel more intimate than others. Like I only like to hug people in my family or people I feel I'm really close to. But then when people in my family touch me in a way I define as intimate then I react by pulling away and telling them not to touch me. Unfortunately this means that sometimes the person I want to be intimate with will see that reaction and think I just don't like to be touched at all and that can be difficult for me to then have to explain to them =_=

[@91722854]

same for me, the words that described feelings or emotions often felt so alien to me, I knew what happy sad, angry were, but not much more than those, most of the time if someone ask me how i feel, I just can't really answer because I just think so the feelings are absent, at most i could answer I feel like thinking

[@SirNether5000]

I really relate to what you are saying here. Good job.

[@girlbehindthereddoor]

OK in case anyone stumbles across this anytime soon, I could use some advice! I'm an INFP crushing on an INTP that I met at church. We met a year and a half ago briefly but only started talking to each other one on one last month and I felt like it was fated/destined for us to have this connection. I did the jump in my head to "I could see myself marrying this person" pretty quickly and he did the jump to talking about kids in our first ever one-on-one conversation and continues to have brought it up since. He seems to try to gauge what I want regarding relationships and kids, and even suggested I would be the type of person to be a soccer mum. He seems pretty traditional when it comes to family dynamics which is what I've always dreamed of having one day, and we are places in our life where we've been hurt in the past but are moving on from it and wanting to settle down with someone in the next couple of years. The problem is, he kept talking to me about business stuff (along with deep personal conversations) which made me think he just was talking to me to get me to be a client, but is this just an in for him? This week I told him I want nothing to do with business/sales stuff and just want to get to know him without it and he said we could be friends and he won't bring it up anymore. I can't explain how wonderful our connection is when we do have one on one conversations, it is an equal exchange of ideas and energy and experiences (thank you Ne!!), an equal balance of talking and listening for each of us, and I rarely find this with people, let alone with guys. He's everything I want in a partner but it's hard to understand how he feels about me. Any advice would be appreciated as this INFP is confused by Ti-Fe! :)

[@aonaohafa]

so what happen now im curious

[@girlblogger3524]

on relationships: I understand having the look to attract the "sporty" types. I dated ESTJ and attract ESTP's as well, but I learned that differences were too extreme and in the end, it was a crash and burn. so for all INTP girls out there.. I suggest you stay true to the parts of yourself that you value! Because you can't ignore them... they will eventually come out!

[@rionka]

Girl Blogger true!! thanks

[@roseh9193]

It took me so long to learn that!

[@user-rl8yu3dq7k]

As an INTP i totally understand, it's almost like I'm listening to myself talk. It's so intriguing

[@jackwellington9863]

I'm a bit different on some points but the one on relationhips is spot on.

[@FithyOpportunist]

I can easily relate with the touch as on one hand someone who I knew casually huged me right before a lecture on binary code and it shook me so much I started randomly spouting out 1s and 0s in a binary order for the enterty of the lecture while a close friend of mine could hug me or pick me up or other physical contact I can sort of enjoy (mabye?) It

[@phos5990]

the way you talk is so relatable as an INTP myself hahaha!

[@lettersbyx]

this just felt like I was listening to my self, but instead of it being in my head, its an actual person. I never felt so understood loL !!

[@cameronbond4685]

I also understand easily deciding on whether you're in love and it scares them and then they run away

[@user-ut7wi1if9q]

Lmao right off that bat ure explaining stuff and talking just like me it’s like watching myself it feels so weird yet kinda hilarious

[@YanniCollinsxoxo]

I could relate so much, Eric.

[@Dogspit99]

Holy crap I try to backtrack and fix a stupid joke i messed up on, or reference it later in the conversation in a witty way, but i forget the context and it just confuses everyone and makes a huge jumbled mess and i'm just left even more embarassed, it's a lot haha

[@eviefieseler1093]

Please do a video about the problems associated with glibly putting people in categories ("the Sport Girls," etc.) as opposed to needing one real-life multi-faceted flexible and thinking person to have a relationship with.

[@alexsierra111]

I think you were right with thinking Yes the fundamentals are different and yes the belief system of that individual will different bc their nuturing has caused them to think differently. So I think different is the right word.

[@yukirio4500]

Definitely a 100% relate with this as an INTP

[@Schmooplzzz]

Wow, am I late to the party. I just recently did the whole Mbti test again(multiple times), and it told me I was an INTP. So within my research of seeing if it was right or wrong, I've been going through yt just to see what people say; honestly, I've never felt so read before-Dang dude. Literally, spot-on for how I've felt for years. I'm the same on approaching relationships as something of actually seeing a future with that person, both friendship and romantically, and as quickly. And it's not picky, you just know what you want or at least a general idea, and that's a good thing. Like I know I'm that way as well, from attempting to get to know them or just blatantly seeing how they are and knowing for a fact it's not going to mesh. I find it hard to find people who understand my need to be alone and just personal space in general, let alone how my mind works. The personal touch part made so much sense. It was actually one of the defining parts as to why an old relationship of mine got convoluted. (Had a guy who I thought like me do the whole "coach shoulder" thing all the time when he saw me, but he turned out to just be straight-up unstable, so WRONG SIGNS, NOTED FOR NEXT TIME) But overall, everything you said makes a 1000% sense, and hopefully, for you and everyone in the chat, since it's 3 years later, lol, that life is going well for all of you. Thank you for coming to my unnecessary ted talk.

[@sd8182]

7:30 SO RELATABLE...Im 6'2 light skin with green eyes. I attract a lot of females but holding a conversation with anyone is pretty difficult. You'll think of all these things to say but it's so easy for me to find how they can take it the wrong way. Then when I finally just say something I think about how I should have said it. Then 10 minutes later I'll know what I should have said but it's too late to bring it up but you bring it up anyway. Now they are lost because your hoping all around the conversation. Then I find my self trying to explain myself and it become akward for both parties. Now im seen as some type of weirdo and akward kid. People tell me "be yourself" well I guess overthing is being my self.

[@Nesterou]

Get out of my mind omg I laughed so (internally) hard reading this :D And when you try to bring the subject back somehow to correct/insert that thought you desperately wanted to say 😂 And meanwhile you lose track of the conversation if there's more than one people involved.

[@epipany3677]

Haha I believe it can be hard for you but this sounds so cute..

[@ferdinandbardamu.]

Now imagine being INTP and being ugly

[@dubinbyfield9068]

Understand our brain creates illusions eg “I zoned out, now I don’t know what she’s talking about, do I now guess the conversation and just start nodding, ah now I’m nodding like a fool she must think I’m crazy” this is an illusion we’re in all we had to say is “ I zoned out for a second repeat that again?” Just attempt to listen to what she’s saying nothing else don’t think about sex or your plans for after be in the present and before you speak pause. Also conversing on a date 90/10 rule 90% of the woman speaking 10% of the guys

[@EloquentTroll]

I'm an INTP trans woman, I spent most of High School thinking girls didn't like me, but I was too oblivious to see it most of the time. I came out as gay in my late 20s, and the rules of engagement were super easy to understand, and I was super successful in attracting partners, unfortunately I was wrong. I came out as Trans and so many things in my life started to make sense. Diving into the trans community I found many people with similar experiences, and disproportionately introverted people. Also Magic the Gathering is big with trans women. With regards to loyalty, I have that to an unhealthy degree. I have a hard time not loving someone anymore, I am a door mat in most relationships. I have been able to purge that love for most of my abusers, but not my High school sweetheart, when you're 6'1" and pretty muscular it's hard to have any self worth when a 5'3" woman hits you all the time. My post self acceptance life has led me to ignore sex and romance and focus on friendships, and that has made me far happier than ever. I'm glad to be rid of testosterone, it just clouds everything.

[@doubled00]

Great one man! You're my twin 🤣

[@Aris-Darling]

I looove seeking out IN-/EN- types and their company! As an INFJ, I make quite a number of friends, but they are all rather distant friends (people tend to think that they are closer to me than they actually are). I don't fall in love easily, but INT- types are my kryptonite. I have dated 2 INTP's and I am just so attracted to their intelligence, open-mindedness, uniqueness, kindness, authenticity, reservation and calm. I find it easy to just spend time and happily experience life with your type :)

[@ajharrison8772]

Happy to see I'm not alone

[@meregaming1770]

I totally get you around the 10 minute mark. Exactly the same.

[@TheCaroeline]

Hey, I really appreciate you making this video. I think putting yourself out there is hard in such a open space and I get what you and all the people that commented are addressing. I start identifying myself as demisexuel. Maybe this is something that helps you with the dating thing. Just look it up if you haven't heard from it :D Its easier then me explaining it All I really wanted to say is kind of thank you?! I never felt this understood before Have a great day ! (I'm from Germany so sorry if I'm not explaining what I mean correctly )

[@EricTheINTP]

Bitte schön! Dein Englisch ist gut. Danke für deinen Kommentar. And that's about as much German I know haha. I'm glad this video helped you feel understood. I looked up demisexual and it makes sense. Emotional bonds really matter when in a serious relationship.

[@dragonrider1467]

This is the 4th time I've thought, "this could be me with a hair cut...its like he's reading my mind 😅." Its also really insightful to be able to watch somebody articulate themselves in such a similar way to my own its... surprisingly endearing... god I hate that adorable is what applies here because I hear it all the time but its truuuee 😭🤦🏼‍♀️. But now it makes sense. As does the bit about touch. I made the mistake of lashing out as a child over sympathy pats and that was more or less the end of physical contact until after leaving their home. Zero stars, do not recommend. Ironic so ironic that my love language is physical touch. A side effect of deprivation growing up I'm not sure. Hearing somebody else explain out their (my) thought processes and rationalizations behind the partner selection process, friendships, relationships and interests in general... many other points as well, it's kinda eerie. But I'm glad I'm not the only one, though I'm not sure I'd wish this on anyone. Or maybe we should. But anywho. Love your videos. Thanks so much for putting these together ❤ Cheers!

[@NikkiTrudelle]

Idk man I think relationships and the dynamics that one brings to them are pretty subjective. There’s only so much you can draw in the way of similarities among INTPs, and the way the approach relationships but it does make for good conversation about commonalities we have when it comes to dating .

[@96alexandermorgan]

I have done research into the pickup artist kinda thing for a while. I would recommend that other INTPs do the same. I don't use it all of the time and don't sleep around as that takes a lot of energy but the tips and tricks help to sweep the girl that you do like off of her feet. My current GF is a IN type as well and she was not expecting a deep man to be so ablie to sweep her off of her feet. She has told me that she was skeptical of me at first but could see that I wasn't lying and that while I was being focrfull that I was not only after sex but somthing deeper. 1.Learn from guys who seek out sex and get it. 2. Apply it to good women that you like. 3. Use it to find the smart deep woman that you need.

[@captainstark5496]

Any advice for an intp woman ?

[@SimiIsLame]

I zoned out like 3 times watching this....why am i like this

[@tammy6452]

I can list a couple of positive qualities of an intp. The good they do for others, the positive atmosphere they provide for others to laugh while they are doing good. The way they show loyalty to people to that don't even know them by guarding their information. There are other good qualities but that is a start.

[@Fin2001]

I used to consistently get the ISFP on mbti tests, but now I constantly get INTP. I share a few characteristics with both, although looking at it now I have quite a bit more in common with the archetypal INTP.

[@sasavlog03]

I think, as an INTP, we value knowledge and honesty. What’s worst is that my zodiac is Sagittarius, a sign that values honesty. (I know about astrological sign bc it’s fun.) So my friend, Alice, is going abroad for studies. I am happy for her, and encouraged her to chose the overseas if that’s what she wanted to pursue. I told her that if she ended up choosing the option I gave her, I’d like to be informed too. But I was the last one to know. Okay, okay. I can handle that. Being the last one to be informed even though I was the only person who encouraged you to chase your dream is alright. It’s not a big deal, since she’ll be happy, right? But the very last straw for me is that I was the only one who didn’t get to say goodbye to her during the day she flew overseas. I even cried to Becca the night before about how worried I was about her because the country she would be studying in is not very forgiving to people like us; chubby and very tan. Especially when we are supposed to be thin, cute, as an Asian. Note: It’s the only time I ever cried in front of the two. So the day we are video-calling, I noticed that Alice’s room is different. The wallpaper is different, and there was no usual rowdiness in her usual room. So I asked her if she had flown overseas already. Then, she told me she was already quarantined in the country for one week and three days; 10 days, to be exact. I didn’t speak for the rest of the call, but to add salt to the wound, Becca knew about it and she was the first one to know. Call me dramatic, if you want, but after 5 years of letting them into my vulnerable side and for them to lie to me like this? I deleted their number and changed mine. I am not sure if this is a very INTP thing to do, but I think I have drawn a very thin line and made it clear to them that the line I’ve drawn is the line that they shall NOT cross. EVER. Yeah. Many things they did annoyed me; touching me without warning, being unreasonable because they are xSFx, demanding Extrovert-ness from me even though I’m a home person, and so much more. Even questioning my interest. I never once felt like dropping them because I was too lazy to care about stuff like these. Simple couldn’t careless, actually. But lying? Yeah no. Edit: This quote finally came to mind; To me, to be unfaithful to the truth is the biggest sin. Because once they lie, anything they said was now in constant question, AND anything she said in the past was also in a constant questioning. Questioning my own existence and mind is already hard enough as it is. All these means I need to reassess all my reaction to the things you say.

[@thomaswaite5576]

I can’t imagine INTPs being interested in astrology; unless to mock

[@Ten-kc2yp]

I have 3 best friends i'm super comfortable with, i don't look approachable and to be fair, i don't look for friends. They approached me first, all of them are ENFPs, except for one who's INFP. For some reason, they really understand me. They think like me, but have different approaches to do a problem. But they understand what i think, so i can express my emotion (i do it badly, btw) but they still understand what i am saying and listen to me even though (i think) i am not making any sense. As for romance... I don't look for them actively or is putting myself out there to be found by potential mate, i think they're a waste of time and nobody would understand why i don't want a boyfriend. But i do have a type, best describe it as ENTJs basically, i am very attracted to people who have leadership skills, are able to take control of a situation, and not so damn incompetent. So far, no one manage to meet my expectations (except for anime boys, i love them more than life), nor have i met any ENTJs. I hope this make any sort of sense.

[@purplemind93]

Hi! This is eerie, cause basically everything you said is something my ex bf who is INTP did/described when we discussed this topic. He used the word calibrate as a system or a tool for changing his personality so that I wouldn't feel as spooked. And it made me wary, because what are we if we change our personalities piece by piece like that? I told him that I was afraid he was compromising too much and loosing his freedom and that this ultimately would lead to bitterness towards me. Idk, perhaps INTPs don't think of it like that? Maybe they have some inbuilt confidence and core about their personality that they don't see it as making a sacrifise or whatever. But I myself, I couldn't compromise like that, it would feel like faking to make it work. Like you say though, it's important for both parties to make relationships work because it's not a dance or fairy tale, it is actual work. So I'm a bit sad that you and he was able to put so much effort in adapting yourselves and that it ultimately was useless anyway. Loyalty is amazing, I loved the fact that my ex was so consistent because guys before showed so little concern for consistent behavior. Still, I was spooked by the giant display of affection only a few days after we met (online I should add). Not because I felt intimidated, but because I couldn't believe it. Perhaps it's genuine for the guy or the INTP, but for the receiver who knows how flawed she is and have a lot of self doubt it's putting pressure on her. And just knowing that in good time the guy is going to realize that I'm not this amazing person he thought at first. And that sort of makes his love bombing in the beginning worse, because there were all these notions that I couldn't possibly live up to but I blame myself for it anyway. This got a bit real, but I needed to share. I love your content, makes me understand my ex a bit more, even though I still feel very hurt by him. And I wish we could have established a stronger friendship first, but no guy ever seems to want that. You explained your thoughts on touch, do they involve sex as well? Do you need to be emotionally attached (like in love, and not just "like") to have sex or do you view it as something mechanically and detached from emotions?

[@cameronbond4685]

I understand peoples image of us because in highschool I liked a girl and as a typical intp I never told her although i think she had some interest in me it was shattered by my strange changes from outgoing in one class and then dead silent in another wich I believe utterly confused her

[@rainbobo]

as an intp i had actually named my favourite towel which i bring to overseas tripsss "Loyal" ... now i finally see why tht would make sense to me ...

[@fredo2961]

This is amazing that I found someone who talk like me and I can understand what he's talking abouy like woah

[@shetheyandkindagay]

ok i know you made this video like 300 years ago but i REALLY relate to what you said about touch omg

[@KatanaKamisama]

As an INTJ I have similar difficulties with verbal articulation. Perhaps not to the same degree but I do vastly prefer to express ideas, especially complex ones, via written media.