Establishing Healthy Boundaries in Four Steps - Nanny Tips

[@heidikirsch9100]

I love this. It's so important for the nanny's health and well-being. Especially in any demanding childcare job, self-care is essential! I love how you break it down.

[@TheNannySolution]

Thank you!

[@TeresaBenson]

It took me recently talking to my therapist to learn about healthy boundaries. One of mine is I will not watch the kids on weekends because I am an online student and have Sunday church responsibilities.

[@TheNannySolution]

Good for you! This is a great boundary to have.

[@bethpeters3477]

Thanks even though I am retired. Setting boundaries is a good life lesson at any part of your life.

[@TheNannySolution]

So true!

[@bethpeters3477]

Like I said when I was a nanny 20yrs ago I wish I knew about boundaries . I usually did what my employer wanted me to do. Changing my plans to do what they wanted.

[@TheNannySolution]

Live and learn. As we grow we develop new skills and put them into use. Boundaries is one of this skills that often takes time to develop and learn how to implement.

[@aiai-j7i]

Same

[@MM-cx2kf]

I love your necklace Ms. Michelle!

[@TheNannySolution]

Thank you! 🤗

[@treefrog1018]

My priorities each week/Things I must do for myself: Meal Prep for the Week, One Fun Activity each week (go swimming, rent a movie, go to a social gathering, etc, just one Fun thing each week), and Exercise 3-4 per week.

[@TheNannySolution]

Love that!

[@hollynoel061]

Excellent video! I’m not a nanny but I definitely appreciate the words of wisdom of establishing boundaries in any aspect of life whether at work or in your personal life. I love that immediately you provided exercises to really get the mind thinking about three values that are important to you that are non-negotiable and three things that I need to do for myself every week. For me not being a nanny or having children at the moment you did an excellent job because I watch the entire video I actually watch this video twice!

[@TheNannySolution]

Thank you! I’m glad you found value in it. 💕

[@bronwenmenzies6847]

This is really in reply to one of your other videos and it was something that really stood out for me ! that if it's not a right fit with a potential Nanny family, then you just can't do it you said! And that's absolutely true ! I recently had a family that did want to hire me part-time and when I sat back at home thinking about the whole scenario it just did not gel. So I had to turn them down before I even started the job

[@TheNannySolution]

You absolutely made the right choice. You have to do what is right for you and find a family that is a good fit. It will ensure you are happy at work and your nanny family will have the best care for their children.

[@TeresaBenson]

Good for you! Just recently I took a part time job with the mom working from home and cameras in every room. After a few short weeks it wasn't sitting with me right so I left.

[@sindyizaguirre4831]

Before they used to put me to work on holidays like Xmas eve, July 4, thanksgiving etc but like short days it wasn’t worth it because now I live a bit further and have to drive 30 miles each way. 2021 and this year I started requesting those dates off and now I spend more time with my family. Just like they have government holidays off we deserve that time off as well to do what we love outside work.

[@TheNannySolution]

Glad to hear you are advocating for yourself!

[@milysharko9164]

Hi there, thank you so much for your videos and creating such a community for support for nannies. I really need some help in figuring out to set up boundaries with not wanting to do banking hours. I've done it before with a previous family and it was not a good experience. So recently, I spoke up and told my current family I do not wish to do banking hours and making up hours and the response I got from the mother was very shocking, she completely ignored me and also appeared angry at me for saying that. Basically, the kiddo had a doctors appointment the next day that she forgot about and asked me to come into work 2 hours later. I said that's fine and then she began trying to see where I can make up the 2 hours. Then also made me feel bad for not being able to work 2 hours more into that same evening the following day of the appointment. So instead of 11pm to 7pm I could only work 11am to 5pm since I already made a commitment to meet with my in laws and have a family dinner. She told me she really needed me to work then and was hoping I would since she also wanted to go out with her girlfriends. But how I was I suppose to know that on such short notice? Anyways when leaving one day after trying to figure out when to make up the hours the mom was working but I told the dad here are the times I can come and make the hours up at least within the same week. He said " Don't worry about it, we won't need you, and it's ok." Then I get a text later from the mom saying " per our conversation we still need you to make up the hours," The next day I kept trying to ask them well when they would like me to make them up and apologized for not being available on short notice. They told me that they're on the same page now and they're not going to just "burn through their money" like that and "those hours are they're hours belong to them since there still paying me." Odd, because they do pay me for holidays and I don't work holidays which are much more hours so 2 hours shouldn't be a big deal right?. (Sorry if this is long. I just want to give you a good background with details) Anyways, I also told the mom that if they needed me to work or stay longer hours I need advance notice and she was also shocked about that and got upset when I said I have other things going on outside of work. I told her I can't make up the 2 hours the following week because I'm busy and she said what does that mean, your busy, what's that look like? Why do I have to justify and prove I'm busy outside of work? In sum they told me that they would give me a week in advance notice to let me know when they can use me to make up the two hours. I'm not comfortable with that all and I told them I don't want to do banking hours. They told me I had to make them up and they'll let me know when. The next day I came to work and the mom didn't speak to me at all and was hiding I felt and did stayed in her room all day. She's never done that before and she didn't come out to give me my check and thank me like he usually does. I'm feeling saddened by all this and overwhelmed. Do you have any advice? I was just assertive I guess but remained polite, gracious, professional, throughout the whole conversation. Again I'm just shocked with the response I and don't understand what I did that was so bad or unreasonable?

[@milysharko9164]

Again sorry if this was long! But I appreciate getting perspective and support from the nanny community here. Is it time that I move on? One other thing to keep in mind is a while back this family asked if I could work an extra day for them but would have to lower my rate because they are on a tight budget for child care. That's not appropriate and professional either. So I politely declined but it made me feel so undervalued as nanny and all the hard work I do.

[@TheNannySolution]

Thank you for providing so much detail. It sounds like you are no longer happy there so it may be time to move on. If you are not ready to move on then you may want to look at sitting down with them so you can agree on banking hours vs guaranteed hours.

[@bananablisss]

You are totally justified in being unhappy but ultimately you can’t stay in that energy forever. Michelle is right you have to leave or accept the situation as it is (you are also justified in that. We all have our reasons for staying in the jobs we have). I truly hope things are better for you now!

[@Maziyateke_tv]

Yes that's good I deas👍🙏 God bless you.

[@TheNannySolution]

You’re welcome 💕

[@blueeyzsue4233]

My priorities are no weekend work as it's family time with my family; no texts from work as soon as I leave. No texts after 9 pm nor before 7 am (my current boss has sent texts as early as 3 am. I also do not need 44 texts in 1 day at work when you are in the next room (it's happened) and I don't answer personal questions asking about why or what was diagnosed at a doctor appt)

[@TheNannySolution]

Good to hear you have boundaries.

[@CareersbyJenn]

Great info and fantastic energy, thank you!

[@TheNannySolution]

Thank you 💕

[@hannahscott6604]

Wish I found these 10 years ago

[@TheNannySolution]

Glad you found us!

[@Vera-dc7my]

How do you get to prepare healthy meals for yourself if the family expect you to work 10-16 hours daily?

[@TheNannySolution]

Have you tried meal planning or bulk cooking?

[@dorcassakyiamah7164]

Great piece! Thank you madam. Please what is the difference between nanny and baby sitter

[@TheNannySolution]

Thanks for the question. I will look at doing a video on this topic.

[@dorcassakyiamah7164]

@@TheNannySolution ok madam. I'm looking forward for the video. Thank you 👌

[@rogre1186]

I’m hoping that someone else who is dealing with this can get a response and some advice on what I’m going through currently. So first off I met this family in the beginning of the year, only been working for them for about 4 months. In my many years of babysitting I haven’t ever had a parent like this before. I understand that every parent has different parenting styles. There fore I’m not criticizing them for entertainment for the comment section. So I start my first week and everything is going well until… I start to notice that MB is pointing out things that I’m doing wrong. At first I was thinking “well I’m new so I’m sure if I keep working on it I will get it down.” After 2 weeks mb had already bashed on me for things I didn’t know she wanted to do. For example : move the load of clothes to the dryer (I’m familiar with doing laundry everyday at my own home) so I do what she says and I put them in the dryer. She then gave me attitude the next day and said I won’t be doing laundry because I shrunk the items of clothing. I followed every step on which setting to put the clothes on to dry. Yet she made it seem like I was supposed to know what was not supposed to be put in the dryer. I have had many instances where she will be inconsistent with direction and tasks I’m working on. One day I’ll do it one way and the next I’m completely in the wrong because she’s stressed. I have already had a talk with her multiple time’s addressing these specific scenarios and how I feel so that we can compromise and approach comments like that differently. It’s degrading to me and I dread going into work feeling like I’m walking on egg shells. I’m such a people pleaser and want to do good for her but no amount of money should be worth dealing with what I am currently caught up in. this also includes : - phone calls/texts about things we need to discuss that I did wrong and how she is stressed that I don’t know how to get it done. - texts about how I should’ve notified her when her child had bad behavior while I was watching the kids when they went out of town. (Even tho I called mb and tried to text them but I didn’t get a response until they were on their way home) It’s hard for me to quit because I’m so sensitive and hate to have that conversation with them. I’m good with communicating with understanding people but when it’s someone who acts like they understand but really doesn’t and just wants to degrade me it sucks… - Bad mouthing her employers who I work with some days - comments on how bad their last nanny was - I feel as if they expect way too much out me. They’re use to older people working for them and I am not even 20 yet. I know it’s time to quit my job but I want to here from a professional on how to handle this conversation.

[@TheNannySolution]

It sounds like they are not good employers. Sometimes you can not do anything right and you have to move on.

[@emily08700]

How do you ask for a raise?

[@TheNannySolution]

Great question! This video may help: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qqKxin-Ldpani9U

[@hannahscott6604]

Just as much as nannies need to use clear communication, parents, please use it as well. Please say if you’re upset by something we did when it is happening, rather than bringing it up a week or two later.

[@TheNannySolution]

Yes, this video is only for nannies. It does not address the parents side.

[@hannahscott6604]

I let my employers follow me on social media. It doesn’t bother me. Also, many of them have said yes to me following them.

[@TheNannySolution]

It is important to do what works best for you. It does not work for everyone.

[@blueeyzsue4233]

For me, I do not allow my current families to follow me on any social media. I feel it's too intrusive and I must watch everything I say or post.