estranged mother with a victim complex

[@TheQueerKiwi]

i ranked all eighty-six books i read in 2024 over on the second channel, check it out! kzbin.info/www/bejne/n3nWq6aoetqVqdEsi=3387MF8X7yXIV0V5

[@ilves8591]

Repeatedly calling your kids ungrateful, narcissistic bastards on social media is a great way to prove you're a wonderful parent.

[@sk22-12]

Seriously! I was emptying the dishwasher while listening to the video and the way my neck snapped when I heard her talk about her children like this almost broke my neck 😅

[@ville-c4u]

i feel so unsafe because you keep making toxic comments reported read the rules next time ,..

[@sk22-12]

@@ville-c4u Who makes toxic coments? Me? 🤔

[@ktm9292]

​​@@sk22-12they're a troll. Seen them on a bunch of threads. Best to just ignore.

[@eyesistorm]

@@sk22-12 it's a bot, ignore it

[@ouijacorn]

She really just said: "If I was actually abusing my kids, God would have stopped me". Pretty sure blaming God for your bad behavior is blasphemous, but okay.

[@rightnow7068]

Also, there are many 'Christians' that have literally beat their kids to death thinking that's what god wanted. Look into the book 'To Train Up a Child' by Michael Pearl if you don't believe me.

[@elaineb7065]

God lets you choose how you act, because God wants you to voluntarily choose to follow him

[@zerada00]

​@@elaineb7065and that is why her saying how god would have stopped her if she was doing something bad is wrong

[@anime17love]

Sounds like God did make her stop when her kids removed themselves from her life lol not a lick of sense in these people’s brains

[@XxMusicxKelseyxX]

Funny how God would stop her from being abusive but not stop her kids from allegedly being so awful? And must just be these "doormat moms" he would do that for, not the parents than murder their kids or anything like that. Her takes are so absurd, she should be embarassed - but she won't be because the reason her kids don't talk to her is her entitlement and stubbornness.

[@olivers_playlists7343]

My neighbor casually dropped that none of her three kids talk to her, and that she's on all these estranged parent pages. She also eats butter as a snack. It was a lot of red flags to be hit with over Christmas dinner.

[@amylizard]

One of my rudest and most unpleasant customers once told me her son had changed his mind about visiting for Christmas and it took everything I had not to say "geez, I WONDER why"

[@ville-c4u]

who cares,

[@kittenwizard4703]

​@@ville-c4uclearly you do to spend time out of your day to ask

[@aydenhowell2308]

Wow a carbon copy of my mom, butter stick and all

[@h.r.9563]

My neighbor had that but at least had the shame to recognize she was the reason. She didn't die alone though. Mr and my kids loved in her

[@music42380]

the line after honoring your parents: “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” they always skip the rest of the chapter

[@arielfelts9111]

Same way everyone reads "blessed are the poor" but won't go a few verses later that say "woe to you who are rich" the Bible is an inherently liberatory and left wing collection of books. Conservative "Christians" care more about their politics than th y care about God.

[@RasheedGazzi]

Imagine not taking pleasure in the good health and happiness of your children and instead having them live in fear of you and being miserable. It's absolutely insane.

[@lucaswintermote3329]

And knowing the bible im sure you can find a contradiction to that in a different section so..... color me unimpressed.

[@arielfelts9111]

@@lucaswintermote3329 it's almost like the Bible is a collection of books written by various people and attempting to impose univocality is a purely dogmatic decision whether it's made by a theist or an atheist, and what we get out of it says more about us.

[@nancy78811]

​@@lucaswintermote3329 and then you could find a contradiction to that, and then to the next one. Bible is a pretty deplorable moral compass. Made so much worse by all this cherry picking of verses.

[@amylizard]

My dad went no contact with me to punish me for getting my first boyfriend when I was 22 years old, and he thought he had broken me enough for me to come running back to him and I was like... What is this peace? What is this... Quiet joy? I have energy for myself? I'm allowed to just live my life and feel my own feelings? Wait... I don't HAVE to always adjust my feelings and opinions to what my dad wants. I'm... Free... And then years went past and my dad asked my brother for my new number (he had two whole years to call before I changed it) and absolutely not. So he told everyone I went no contact because he was unemployed and I was just using him for money and so I abandoned him at his worst because I'm greedy and selfish. But everyone is like two people because he can make a lifelong enemy out of a damp leaf on a bench.

[@Spagettigeist]

Good for you. Having good parents is nice, but if they are toxic then you're better off without them. Him cutting you off for having a boyfriend tells me everything I need to know. He tried to manipulate you into dropping your boyfriend and instead you dropped him. So I guess in the end that worked out for you. Must still have been hard, but I hope you're doing well now.

[@father_mae_i]

That last line about making an enemy out of a damp leaf on a bench cracked me up, that's a great example. I'm sorry you have a parent like that

[@AliciaCarsson]

​@@father_mae_ihilarious. It's great no contact is possible, so that children that have parents who make them unhappy can still have a chance at happiness.

[@ferninthehouse]

being mad about a 22 year old having a boyfriend is next level insane

[@KARMAZYNA]

I'm sorry you went through that. 😢 And that damp leaf comment was hilarious. 😂

[@amylizard]

At 13 I had practiced this little speach to my dad about how it hurt me that he was so mean to me and that him always insulting me left me feeling so alone and that I had no confidence because of it. And I was very hopeful and a little proud of this little speach because I thought it sounded very mature. And one day I got brave enough in the car and I recited it, managing to do so without crying. There was a few seconds of silence. And then, while still looking at the road, my father responded with three words: "Confidence is overrated." Something in me broke a little that day. And I still think about it sometimes. Ten years no contact, which is for the best.

[@BlueNOrange]

You're incredibly brave for doing this, it just appears that he's too immature to respond well. Congratulations for trying and getting out of the situation!

[@babashanko5358]

...what fully grown person says that to a child and thinks they're in the right? I don't think even children are that detached. That's absurd - I am so sorry and I'm glad you're no contact.

[@strawberry_fields16]

ten years no contact is AMAZING sweetheart, really happy for you

[@AW-xc1xc]

This almost made me cry. It's so similar to what I did. I was that age too when my dad's behavior got really bad. I used to write essays about what he said to me and read them to him, only he never listened and instead mocked me for it. Once, I tried to tell him in the car because I'd heard it would make parent/child conversations easier. He sped up until I was screaming in fear and then slammed on the breaks. I cried the whole way home. 4 years now, since I could move out.

[@KARMAZYNA]

Stay strong. You deserve to be happy and free of abuse. ❤

[@N0Bah_D-666]

Calling them bastards is literally calling them illegitimate. She sees her kids as defective product

[@nineteenfortyeight]

She must have slept around.

[@SproutiusShrubiusthe16th]

​​@@nineteenfortyeight either that or her kids' dad was her first cousin, which makes things weird considering she's the only one who came out looking (and sounding) like that rather than the sane, normal kids that fleed from her. She literally looks a default alien and sounds like if That Vegan Teacher fulfilled her life-long dream to lay an egg after screwing a chicken so- yeah.

[@PhoenixHinds]

Seems like a manufacturer's defect, if there is one at all.

[@LeahDyson-kq4bd]

She talks like Tony Soprano's mom I gave my life to my kids on a silver platter

[@SproutiusShrubiusthe16th]

@@N0Bah_D-666 yt deleted my comment with it's cocomelon guidelines so I'm gonna say this again because yt can't stop me: if anyone is defective it's her, considering she looks like her parents were siblings

[@nickeynouse6093]

You can tell she was a bad mom by the way she talks about her kids (ie "ungrateful bastards"). There are some good parents who's kids cut contact, I can believe that. Adult children might get into drugs, join weird fringe religious groups/cults, severe mental health issues, date abuse people who get them to cut contact, etc. But those parents arent going around talking about their kids that way.

[@quinsley2893]

I couldn't agree more with this. Good parents won't spend all their time trying to convince everyone in their lives (and even strangers on the Internet) that their children are undeserving.

[@babashanko5358]

Generally if the parent actually loves their child, they're not going to go on tirades about how they're ungrateful. Even in a scenario where a kid uses their parent and then goes no-contact (which is significantly less likely than the parent just being trash), I feel like the parent would still have SOME nice things to say about their kid... and not go to social media to complain about "ungrateful bastard children" (which an ungrateful child would also be the parent's fault anyways, so she's just telling on herself on all accounts).

[@Imjustkendall]

Exactly. I cur my mom off for nothing when I was a teenager (I got into bad addiction and habits) and she welcomed be back with open arms and helped me through it. I love her

[@ville-c4u]

My new years resolution ke go kata basadi ba bantši ka mo go kgonegago mola ba lla, ba goeletša, and ba nkgopela gore ke tlogele gobane diteng tša ka di kopanya kudu 👌😂. ,.,.,.,,

[@RogerLewis-ey2tt]

​@@ImjustkendallThanks for sharing! And tell your mom the internet thinks she's great!

[@addyk5440]

estranged parents are so funny, they play dumb like no other-like this doesn’t come out of nowhere babes

[@ville-c4u]

who cares,

[@lisasmith8272]

​@@ville-c4u this is a comment section about narcissistic parents, so obviously people are going to comment about it. get out of the comment section if you feel targeted by the comments

[@ville-c4u]

@@lisasmith8272 i feel so unsafe because you keep making toxic comments reported read the rules next time ,..

[@ArdeaCygnus]

​@lisasmith8272 It's a bot or a troll, they left the same reply on several comments 😑 Thank you for being a good person and standing up for the people feeling safe enough to speak up here!

[@anothercub6958]

​​@@lisasmith8272 Please remember that "ville" and any username that includes "UTTP" are trolls and bot accounts. There are a massive amount of them because it seems like they're the remnants of a community called KZbin Troll Police, which claimed to "police" the quality of youtube content, but kind of just devolved into the degeneracy and possible humiliation kink you see today. They are attention starved children who have WAY too much time on their hands.

[@mumenRhyder]

My "dad" LITERALLY abandonded me and hes been complaining the last 14 years saying that i abandoned him. I was a child under his care, he left without me after a doctor appointment and said nothing to me. These people have 0 self awareness.

[@itsbuggers]

if you dont mind sharing im super curious to know what was said in that doctors office that made him dip out... like what piss poor excuse does he have for abandoning his child during a potential medical issue???? what a dick

[@mumenRhyder]

@itsbuggers to add context, i had years of insomnia so severe i didn't sleep most nights, and I had told him and his wife (not my mom) multiple times. At the appointment I told the psychiatrist I couldn't sleep, "dad" shouted, got up, got my bro from the other room, and proceeded to leave with his wife. Honestly abandoning me was the best parenting decision he ever made.

[@anomalousanimates]

well uhh uhm,.... you're supposed to love your parents unconditionally and uhh obey them without questions!! cuz that's a good relationship.. yeah- it's good relationship1!!!

[@mumenRhyder]

@anomalousanimates don't even think of your kids as little people, they're objects that's ok to throw away if they don't fit into your lifestyle! Like an old pair of pants!

[@AcousticTelevisions]

He just left? What happened to you? Left at the doctors??

[@p_b2000]

If she wants to quote the Bible, she should probably read Ephesians 6:4 where it literslly say not to provoke your child to anger. But, of course she'll just ignore that

[@Cabin7_official]

facts

[@ville-c4u]

i feel so unsafe because you keep making toxic comments reported read the rules next time ,..

[@p_b2000]

@@ville-c4u ??

[@internetstrangerrr]

​@@p_b2000 ignore it, its another bot :/

[@elcatrinc1996]

@@ville-c4u huh?

[@aroacedragon-nt5ol]

People who think that their children owe them for basic necessities (food, shelter, clothing), are the same people who believe that those same basic necessities shouldn't be given to people who need them. They just don't see them as basic human rights, but as privileges and commodities.

[@MoonBunnyEnchanted]

Omg! That’s a great point.❤

[@weirdwilliam8500]

Also, narcissists see their relationship as a series of transactions, not mutual love, because they can’t actually feel that emotion.

[@mariaperez9301]

"Gosh, I don't know why my children don't talk to me because those times I mistreated them were not a big deal at all and I don't even remember now that I think about it. "

[@ville-c4u]

who cares,

[@lisasmith8272]

​@@ville-c4u get out of the comment section, you're just being annoying repeating the same word

[@ville-c4u]

@@lisasmith8272 i feel so unsafe because you keep making toxic comments reported read the rules next time ,..

[@witchwhisperss]

"the axe forgets, but the tree remembers" - bc for us it was a traumatic, formative part of who we are, and for them it was just a fkn tuesday

[@anomalousanimates]

@@lisasmith8272 it's just a troll, report 'em for hateful content

[@crossroads3]

More people need to understand that kids going no-contact with their parents goes against every evolutionary instinct us humans have. It's not a decision that's made lightly. We're hard-wired to see our primary caregivers as good, because children rely on stronger, older people around them to survive. This is also why many people are quick to defend their parents' actions and blame themselves for any difficulties or traumatic events. No-contact is truly the LAST resort and a very difficult thing to do.

[@WildSuppositions]

As someone who couldn't break free of the shame and guilt and go no contact i agree it's insanely difficult and i would have been so much better off had i ever gotten strong enough.

[@gem9535]

My father probably would've offed me in some drunken rage if I hadn't been taken out of that household in time. I definitely didn't leave him on my own volition, despite the abuse. I would excuse some of the most egregious things that even kids from other less-than-nice households gawked at. I didn't go no-contact on purpose, but no-contact literally saved my life.

[@writeonshell]

Yep, my hubby and his brothers can't make that final break even though they definitely should.

[@scarletthecat1491]

I literally still have dreams about my (terrible) mom, and I’ll wake up crying because I miss my mom. It’s not an easy decision

[@only4aram]

i truly felt my heart breaking this last weekend when i realized going nc will be the only way I live a happy life and heal from the trauma. even though they hurt us so much the desire to have parents is deeply rooted.

[@mik1984]

Parents have so much power advantage over their kids that if they bolt the moment they get the physical ability to do so does not put the parents in good light.

[@cheshirecat3845]

The "i raised you, clothed you fed you..." Argument enrages me just as much as, "i brought you into this world, i can take you out!" Parents always say that in a point of anger. My mom always resorted to insults and tearing me down in arguments but god forbid i did that cus then she'd hit me. She unintentionally raised me to be hyper aware of every single word that comes out of my mouth, even in the most blinding rage.

[@jeffersonclippership2588]

They say that stuff and expect their kids to provide them with the same but somehow don't expect to be abused lmao

[@teacupmagick7030]

​@@jeffersonclippership2588 And they'll deny that they were ever abusive too

[@michellereedus9148]

I had a narcissistic mother like this woman. I disassociated with her when I was 23. She spent the next 20 years telling everyone I was a horrible person and she did everything for me. She also died alone, with no friends because they all figured out who she was too. She never got to have a relationship with her grandson, she never took responsibility for anything, any of the abuse I endured, nothing. I guess she got what she wanted, dying being "right" in her own mind. This chick will be the same way. I used to have nightmares about her up until she died. Then I finally felt a sense of relief. Still sad I never had a mom I could go to or have there for me, but I'd rather have nothing at all than a mom like her

[@amylizard]

When my dad dies I'll send out a little prayer your mother's way because they sound absolutely perfect for each other. He could make an enemy out of everyone and everything and it was never his fault. HE broke off contact with ME because I got a boyfriend at 22, and when I didn't drop everything to come running for his forgiveness he told people I abandoned him because he lost his job and I'm heartless and only cared about getting money from him. (Also, he had been unemployed for over five years at that point.) It wasn't until I was no contact I began realizing how deeply disturbing and abusive our relationship was. Good for you for also taking a step back and not letting someone use and abuse you just because they are family ❤

[@witchwhisperss]

that sounds exactly like my narc mother lol. it baffles me how these people can be the most negative, judgmental, hateful, and mean-spirited people who treat everyone around them like theyre less than dirt, and then turn around and wonder why nobody wants anything to do with them anymore

[@sarahpitt6566]

Similar story here. Just the smallest bit of her owning her shortcomings would have meant the world to me 20 years ago. But she's just not capable of it, never was, never wiil be. I'm the black sheep scapegoat kid. I'll never understand it, especially since my own kids are "just like me" and it's unbelievably easy to love and respect them.

[@ville-c4u]

My new years resolution ke go kata basadi ba bantši ka mo go kgonegago mola ba lla, ba goeletša, and ba nkgopela gore ke tlogele gobane diteng tša ka di kopanya kudu 👌😂. ,.,.,.,,

[@RJLK0518]

I disconnected from my mom less than 6 months ago. I'm 26 this year. All I wanted for her was to say "I'm sorry that I wasn't enough, but I can be now." But she wasn't enough, and she never will be. She's incapable of change. I often think of when she dies and I have had nightmares about her sometimes too. It's still fresh, but in time I hope I can get to where you are. I'm working to be a psychologist to help kids like us. I want to be someone who I needed when I was a kid.

[@Scatscar1985]

Did this woman even WANT to be a parent?

[@rightnow7068]

Many people in the past didn't want to be parents but did so out of societal obligation. That's why many of them are so bitter and feel their children owe them. So despite what Elon Musk says, more people being childless is a good thing because only people who truly want to be parents should be.

[@joshuacoleman8000]

Probably not.

[@samanthaabreu782]

Actually, I think otherwise. She probably wanted to be a mom because she grew up thinking that being a mother is a woman's calling. However, she didnt have the "perfect" children she wanted. That's why she is sooo unhinged about it

[@NearsightedNarhwal]

Imo she seems like she had kids with the sole purpose of having people to take care of her when she’s old

[@hieithefox]

Most of them didn’t they just wanted built in people to take care of them later

[@ThatDudePlatina]

In a discussion I had with my “mom”, I tried to open up to and mend the gap that is between us. She insisted she had done nothing wrong her whole life as a parent to us. I brought up the time I was like ten, and she came home drunk (as usual), and woke me up to scream at me about something. Then, she went to her room, and because she was crying, I went in there to console her. Her response, “See, I obviously felt bad about it!”

[@ville-c4u]

i feel so unsafe because you keep making toxic comments reported read the rules next time ,..

[@ThatDudePlatina]

@ what? My current reply is exactly what the content creator asked us to talk about. What exactly do you mean? The one before that was about Animal Crossing and before that was about loving the video I watched and agreeing with the content creators points. I do not understand what you mean by this.

[@TheCyancheese]

​@@ThatDudePlatinaVille is a bot that says these exact comments on all of Kiwi's videos.

[@ThatDudePlatina]

@@TheCyancheese thanks, I noticed after replying and then looking at their comments >.

[@Jollyinha]

​@@TheCyancheese Hoping that this guy will get banned at some point

[@sarahcox1197]

12:52 as a parent, I feel I owe food, shelter, clothing, and love to my child. Because I brought them here. They owe me nothing.

[@standdownrobots_ihaveoldglory]

Yeah, it’s outright disgusting to hear what they think their kid “owes” them. My adult child came back to our city after college & is pursuing his career here - I’m just so happy and grateful to have him close, I’ve been on best behavior & working hard to show him respect & give him space. I can’t imagine getting all mad at him for not doing & saying whatever I want- that just drives people away lol… I want a great relationship for the rest of my life !

[@S3cr3t_Qw1rtz]

Because it's the truth. I hate that parents scream that they put a roof over your head or feed you. My love, you're legally obligated to, I'm not praising you for avoiding child neglect charges

[@ViVi1159-d1]

@@S3cr3t_Qw1rtzA literal animal knows how to do that much.

[@Wonderlandish]

9:00 that biblical saying is even followed by addressing parents not to drive their children to contempt, so even the Bible’s no good excuse for her behavior

[@teacupmagick7030]

Oh she's only using the parts that benefit her, like a classic narcissist would do. She is reaping what she sewed

[@BlackCover95]

@@teacupmagick7030 *sown

[@minui8758]

No one quoting the Bible in anger is doing so consistently

[@raebeesknees]

Adult children never talking or being in touch with their GOOD parents DOES happen. Usually due to mental health or addiction struggles. However, the parents in those situations DO NOT respond like this.

[@teacupmagick7030]

Many people with addictions/mental health struggles have these struggles due to some form of childhood trauma; some/many people with addictions tend to use their addictions to escape from their reality because their reality is too painful or stressful to endure- especially if there's something in their past or present that haunts them. Can addictions happen outside of that? Sure, but there are also a ton of addicts with unresolved trauma. Alcoholism runs in my family because of generational trauma- people in my family that had trauma and passed it on to their child who passed it on to their child and so on....until one person from a generation decides that they're not going to keep passing this stuff on. And I'd say most likely that most people going no contact with their parents do so because their parents were toxic.

[@aloeparrish8062]

I was thinking the exact same thing. If I had a good relationship with my child and they one day just cut me off for no reason, I'd be worried they might have a brain tumor or something. Nobody just randomly starts hating their parents without something SERIOUS going on.

[@miagreen9005]

20:16 regarding the "where did all the good memories go?" I'd like to ask a different question: where did your memories of all the times go, where you did something wrong? because parents will always try to appeal to your good memories and suddenly have amnesia when you ask about the time they mistreated you. Meanwhile a child will carry those of abuse memories forever, and it can poison every "good memory". It always leaves you thinking "I see that you can be nice. why do you never make that effort for me?" there's a quote I saw somewhere: "I will never forget the day you screamed at me for not eating my cereal. for you it was a tuesday"

[@elvingearmasterirma7241]

The ax forgets. The tree remembers

[@jaggerra7]

It's because to the parent it was just another tuesday, so why even bother forming and keeping a memory of it? But to the child it was a formative experience that now affects how they interact with the world for the rest of their lives. Adults, good or bad, are very bad at putting themselves into the worldview of a child, they only look at things from their own grown up perspective with a life's worth of experience to fall back on as a defense.

[@dariadaniellemusic]

I don't have a doormat mom, but I have a doormat dad and it's so maddening. He gave up parental rights when I was 8 so step-dad adopted me, and now that I'm an adult and know more about what kind of person my bio dad is, I've made the decision for myself not to reach out. However I am in touch with 4 of my 5 siblings on his side of my family (the other one of them is also an awful person so I'm NC with him too), and my oldest sister, the only one of us who's in touch with our bio dad, keeps trying to convince me that my mom is evil and took me away and didn't give him a chance to be in my life. Like girlypop I'm glad you think he raised YOU well, but he signed me over voluntarily after years of not showing up for visits... and from what my other sisters and other people who know him have said, that was for the best anyway because he's manipulative and abusive. Anyway rant over, just wanted to say unless there's proof that the child IS in the wrong, I will always side with them and not the parent.

[@Nakia11798]

I'd say my mom is a proper doormat. She let's everyone walk all over her, EXCEPT for her kids. She's been abused and neglected in multiple ways, and I think the only people she feels safe reacting to are us and sometimes my dad. Unfortunately, that means she bottles up and explodes over tiny things, which is harmful and abusive to her kids. Generational trauma is wild. We all forgive her after she realizes her mistakes and shows proper remorse, but we never forget. My sister is doing okay with breaking the cycle, but she's still got that struggle of occasional neglect due to poor emotional regulation. I do have much more hope for her youngest child, being born into a healthier relationship than her first two. My brother and I don't have kids, I think we're equally afraid of sucking at parenting.😂

[@carililyyarbrough2305]

my estranged mother basically tried armchair-diagnosing me as a narcissist because… uh… [checks notes] I didn’t like it when she would scream her head off at me when I was a small child?

[@Nakia11798]

They're projecting, imo. These parents are portraying narcissistic behaviours.

[@theservitortheservitor1720]

My mother was very similar- in latter years, she's stated that because I wasn't predictable, she couldn't be held responsible for how she treated me.

[@BabyBinkyBunny]

mine is now convinced im bipolar even though when i was young and begging for therapy she said it was embarrassing and a waste of money and a plot for the government to turn me into a drug addict.....

[@erinmalone2669]

The projection is so very real. When I finally stood up for myself, she said I was being abusive. Boundaries were apparently the worst thing in the world.

[@Beeboopbop94]

My stepmom told me that I was responsible for my brothers trauma because I told him that Santa wasn’t real when he was 4 💀

[@trikitrikitriki]

You can't be a doormat if no one comes to the door.

[@tezzanoia]

She also released a whole ass book around this too, iirc making it come out right around (within the week of I think?) her estranged daughter marrying. Imagine being that daughter and finding out your shitty mom is releasing a book airing out the beef she has with you, calling you ungrateful and all the shit that is probably the reason for your estrangement right before your wedding day, trying to taunt that important day of yours and once again making it about herself

[@dariadaniellemusic]

@@tezzanoia yeah, specifically then because her daughter was getting married in another country, needed the mom to mail her some important legal documents, and the mom refused to, which is when the daughter finally cut her off.

[@FEED_ME_A_STRAY_CAT]

WOW!! Her adult kids are wayyy better off without her

[@SunniRae-st9sj]

When asked why she released the book the week of her daughter's wedding, she said "Because it felt good."

[@tezzanoia]

@SunniRae-st9sj yup, that as well. What a horrible excuse of a mother

[@savannahthomson1174]

I thought she released the book the very day of her daughter's wedding, as a spiteful gift and "because it felt good."

[@sammjaisais7135]

Here's a thought, if your adult child is not physically or mentally disabled and isn't contributing to the rent, you can actually just say "Hey, you're an adult and I really can't do everything by myself, so I need you to help out with the house and get a job, we can split chores evenly". That's it. No need to offend anyone.

[@PlatinumAltaria]

If they’re an adult then you should reason with them like a fellow adult, not try to order them around like a child. You can’t have it both ways!

[@kichikitsu]

@@PlatinumAltaria you shouldn't even treat a child like that. children are old enough to understand what words mean and such can be spoken to like an actual person instead of like they're a stupid creature that's beneath you. like if thats the way she regularly spoke to her kids when they were kids no fucking wonder they cannot stand her.

[@daniellediller5070]

​@PlatinumAltaria dude, real Adults shouldn't assume that, real Adults communicate and not play the isn't it obvious game. It's called discussing what you want.

[@lexillogical]

@@daniellediller5070​​⁠​⁠I’m pretty sure the were agreeing with the original comment, because the comment presented an adult conversation, they weren’t saying there would be no conversation, I think you misunderstood…

[@WiloKun]

I'm not necessarily estranged from my parents, just very low contact. Amongst my reasons for not reaching out to them more is their rampant homophobia and transphobia. As a pansexual with an NB partner, I really don't want to hear them go on their 50th rant that day about the community! But I'm sure if you were to ask them, they'd say they've done nothing wrong.

[@ville-c4u]

who cares,

[@witchwhisperss]

@@ville-c4u you must have literally no life to be sat here commenting this under every single comment you dont like

[@femdogtboy]

My mother is the exact same. "I'm allowed to have opinions!" Yes, but I'm allowed to not want to associate with you because of your scummy, bjgoted opinions. She thinks she's entitled to say horrible things about me and my community and if I don't want to sit there and take it suddenly I'm the bad guy.

[@karennaylor7138]

@@jennacarmen6761it’s a bot, report and ignore

[@9akisha9]

Yeah, that's a similar reason to why I'm low contact with my dad. And into that a good portion of "illegal immigrants" and "those pronouns people". That's also why I probably won't tell him I'm enby in the near future (since I still use my asigned pronouns additional to they/them). Funny story: when I told him I was bi He said "yeah, I always thought you were afraid of men" like ????

[@hippiealien8726]

My mother kicked me out onto the streets at barely 14 for the sole reason of she "wasn't going to have a gay under her roof" and if thats what I choose then so be it. Fast forward, I'm now 25, doing great. I have a son and one on the way, she has no idea. She's never bothered to reach out in all that time. I found out about a year and a half ago that shes told her side of that family that I RAN AWAY. That she has no clue why I treated her so cruely as a child. (Huh?) My dad, who I do have contact with, has apologized MULTIPLE times for the things I went through. He knows it was wrong, and wishes he knew better at the time. He's apologized to me on my mothers behalf. That no child should have a mother like that.

[@sneezybees]

I was no contact with my mother for 5 years (from age 18-23) over a variety of reasons, but mostly neglect and 'almond mom' parenting. At first she was incredibly defensive, didn't see how she could've done anything wrong but as the years went by she got help. She went to therapy to discuss some of the issues I'd brought up and when I finally decided to break no contact she listened and educated herself about things like my disorder and gender identity. It's not too late for these parents to do better, to evolve into better people whether or not their children forgive them. I do really hope that these people can put in the work to change and have a better relationship with their children.

[@guysmybonesaregettingsquishy]

its beautiful to also hear about these situations where people can find back to each other, very strong of you to give it another try and I am glad it worked out

[@NotaArtist]

That's so real and I'm so proud of you for setting those boundaries and standing firm until she was in a place to listen and be better. I'm also proud of her for going to therapy and actually working on being better and getting to a place where she can genuinely listen and learn. That genuinely gives me some hope for humanity lol. Every child deserves parent but not every parent deserves a child. You deserve your mom working hard to be a better mother and I'm genuinely so happy for you. Wishing you both the best and thank you for sharing!

[@TeamOmega27]

My mother always said "No one can make you feel anything" when I would tell her how mad people made me at work and such. Yeah, turns out, she said that so she could call me a "fat, ugly and no one will ever love you kind of human" every now and then and not be held responsible for the state of my mental health. Thanks, mom!

[@redfarmer1980]

I’m probably one of your older regular viewers. I’ve been no contact with my father for twenty-five years. He was emotionally abusive and manipulative when I was growing up. He’d pull stunts like punishing me for not wanting to make my shirt off in public (AMAB here) even while I was going through horrible body image issues and bullying (he said I “looked hot” and it was for my own good). This really messed me up in a way I’m only beginning to get over. He became convinced my mother was saying things to put me against him and, at age 12, tried to force out of me what she was saying (she wasn’t-she never said a bad word about him until I was 18 and asked her). When I had nothing to tell him, he got nasty and returned me home in tears. The last straw was when he pretended he wanted to go to marriage counseling with my stepmother only to hurt her later by announcing he was having an emotional affair with their mutual online friend-and then moving the other woman from New Orleans to Central Indiana to be with him. I could list other things but you get the idea. He’s now a bitter old boomer posting racist and transphobic memes on Facebook so I really feel like I’m not missing out on anything. I get sad sometimes that I don’t have a relationship with him, but I’ve come to realize over the years that I don’t miss him specially; I miss that I don’t have a father like my partner and friends.

[@RJLK0518]

Literally my mother. She told me to "Stop blaming my problems on my mommy issues" when I told her I believe she never loved me and only liked to use me to look good. These people are unhinged, insecure, and project everything negative about them onto others.

[@Pazouzou]

I have 2 kids, if my kids became like she said "ungrateful little bastards" it's on me! I am the parent who raises them to be like that. Her discourse is crazy!

[@VibinWithRunnTheSnowman]

EXACTLY. If I raised "ungrateful little bastards" it's my fault. The parent RAISED THEM and gave them the environment that produced that. I would take the accountability but narcissist worst enemy is accountability

[@juliana.x0x0]

Yes! You're their primary role model! How your kids turn out is in large part due directly how parents treat their children

[@jenimhills]

My father is exactly like this woman. Which causes a lot of arguments in my family because I don’t put up with it. My main argument is “ you were an adult the entire time. ” He was in his 30s when he had me, so yes he is responsible for his actions and has a major role in our terrible relationship.

[@anotherhuman3221]

The older i get the more bizarre the reactions of my nc parent seem. Like excuse me you were literally full on functioning adult, with fully developed prefrontal lobe and you made a conscious decision to beef with a child, about them literally just being a child. Absolutely crazy mentality

[@ravenbeastofancient]

This woman has also written a book. Had it released on the day of one of her children's wedding. (Not accidentally, no it was fully planned.) What a piece of work

[@samquinn5545]

I think you misspelled “shit” at the end of that comment

[@fallenking578]

These always make me so happy my parents are normal and not like these. For anyone who has crazy moms like her: you deserve better. Nothing that happened is your fault. You deserve to live somewhere you feel safe and loved

[@smolexfundie6458]

Thank you❤ luckily mine moved herself cross country and solved the issue. 😂

[@fallenking578]

@smolexfundie6458 that is extremely lucky, I'm glad you're in a safer place now

[@aravisthetarkheena]

Calling your kids "ungrateful" is just the #1 red flag to me. If you did something for your kids because you love them and want to give them the best life possible, you'd just do it and not care if they noticed. If you bring up to them that they're "ungrateful" it means you did it because you expected something in return to a degree (obedience, getting taken care of when you're older, access to grandkids, etc). I'd bet any amount of money that kids who don't talk to their parents have though A LOT about the sacrifices parents made for them and have felt guilty as hell about it for a period of time.

[@amyspeers8012]

I am so fortunate to have had wonderful parents while growing up. My husband was not so lucky. In fact, he jokes that the reason he married me was my family. My mother says she won the lottery when it came to sons in law.

[@ville-c4u]

i feel so unsafe because you keep making toxic comments reported read the rules next time ,..

[@cayreet5992]

My grandmother and one of my aunts were like that, too. They loved all of their sons-in-law as much as their own children. It's good to remember that there are also parents who do parenting right - and not just for their biological children.

[@briannaforward1155]

I chose to have my son, he didn’t choose to be here. He owes me nothing, and I owe him everything. He’s an incredible human already. The “payback” of parenting is getting to know a really amazing person who kind of looks like you. ANYTHING else they do for you is extra. ❤ Respect goes both ways and gratitude isn’t owed for simply being his parent. That’s crazy talk.

[@amazingcas]

im not no contact with my mom, at least not yet, but like i rarely ever tell her anything anymore because when i cry or when i explain why im upset she would just tell me "you're an adult, welcome to the real world".

[@Ameliacats42]

The whole "are the good things forgotten" thing is wild. Doing something nice doesn't erase the terrible things someone has done

[@user-bf1dx9jz3t]

For the parent's, it's a diversion tactic and part of DARVO (Deny and Accuse to Reverse the Victim and Offender). They aren't bad parents, the kid's just ungrateful. For the kids, it's survival. You don't have fresh wounds to deal with after the actually good times. "The axe forgets, but the tree remembers" and it doesn't matter how often the axe-wielder watered or fertilized the tree, aiding its growth. They still went at the tree with an axe.

[@entirelybonkers8832]

Also for me personally yes haha the good things were forgotten the trauma and the pain left way more of an impact on me than those “good things” even even during “good times” I was constantly on edge and scared of making the tiniest mistake

[@Awesomesauce213]

This whole thing gives me "You owe me grandchildren" vibes.

[@joshuacoleman8000]

It really does!

[@dianap9381]

This evil mom has a whole movie about this subject. She is NOT the victim.

[@LemonCat98]

She makes mother gothel look saintly..

[@FEED_ME_A_STRAY_CAT]

It's funny that she doesn't see how it's weird to put all this effort into saying you're the good guy! Lol

[@BlackCover95]

Which movie?

[@dianap9381]

@@BlackCover95 I think it's just a really long "documentary" on her youtube channel. I called it a movie because it's like 1.5 hrs long and is very woe is me, I'm a victim.

[@SilentK61636]

Let’s not forget that providing for your kids is basically a legal requirement, considering they could be taken away if you don’t, or you could even end up in prison if the NEGLECT is severe enough. Because that’s what it’s called if you don’t provide the basics, neglect. It’s not love when it’s legally required of you for choosing to have & raise children.

[@babashanko5358]

This woman really said "Having the vocabulary and understanding to vocalize why I'm bad for your mental health is just like trying to fly a commercial airline with nothing but a manual! Wouldn't want me to kill 800 people just from reading a book, right?" Like honey, what? This is the most egregious false equivalency I've EVER seen, which is really saying something.

[@spatulaoblangata]

One factor that can lead to estrangement that I haven't seen discussed in these videos is that abusive partners will often try to control and isolate victims, monitoring and setting rules about interactions with family members, trying to convince them their family is against them. This could result in estrangement even from genuinely decent relatives. However if that were the case, then these parents are even more horrible. Either you're just a bad parent or you are blaming a victim and making their abuse about how it affects you instead of trying to help them, which means you're a worse parent.

[@rightnow7068]

Something too is that they oftentimes 'spoil' a child with financial/material things as a way of controlling them, keeping them dependent on them, and having a way to guilt trip them. Also, they know how messed up the economy is but will still threaten the inheritance as a way of terrorizing their children. There was even this one guy who said to just leave your kid one dollar just to mess with them and be spiteful. Many of them are sociopaths tbr.

[@ARw275]

Because this generally isn’t what that’s about. This type of estrangement is about a shit parent who doesn’t take any sort of accountability.

[@lisasachse778]

Yes, same with people who end up in cults!

[@entirelybonkers8832]

My family is very very close knit and a lot of my brothers have coped with what my dad did by forgiving him and trying to forget about it and act like it never happened my one brother is worse than my father to his children and I’m very close to his children (we’re really close in age and I was like a big sister to them growing up) some of my brothers acknowledge what happened was bad or also hate my father but I’m the only one who will actively speak up on the things that happened and openly don’t want to spend time with him if I cut my father off at this point I would also lost contact with my nieces and nephews that are going through hell every day at the hand of their own father and losing contact with my trans nephew who’s trying his best to make it to 18 so he can leave I couldn’t handle losing them and I don’t want my dad to win by successfully cutting me off from my family it’s exhausting and been difficult for us when it comes to family events (we also have children and don’t want them to have any interaction with him because he has harmed my nieces and nephews before)

[@entirelybonkers8832]

@@rightnow7068my father is like this as well and it even tricks my mom who has always been my biggest supporter against him she still says “oh well he got you this he worked so hard to buy you this” it’s so confusing as a child when you’re hurting and feeling betrayed but everyone you care about around you is telling you it’s your fault and your problem

[@kristi6274]

Last thing my birthgiver said was "I admitted I was a bad mom, ball is in your court" .....that's not an apology, time passing is not an apology. Ball should've never been in my court im YOUR child. At this point I dont need an apology because I won't accept it.

[@VibinWithRunnTheSnowman]

To be fair this seems slightly harsh. Admitting she was wrong is a big step, then if she admits exactly the things she did and how she will fix it that is completely fair.

[@Oshacompliantshibari]

​@@VibinWithRunnTheSnowman Nah, I don't think it's harsh. I would expect an apology to follow that admission, but just saying "ball's in your court" puts the onus on OP to forgive their mother even without the apology.

[@VibinWithRunnTheSnowman]

@Oshacompliantshibari I understand that but maybe she doesn't understand you want an apology for the exact things she's done. Maybe by ball is now in your court she means she doesnt know what she has to next next but is open to doing it if you tell her.

[@BlackCover95]

@@VibinWithRunnTheSnowman If that’s the way she acts, I don’t think she has any remorse. And the onus is not on the kid to wring one out of her.

[@bryannabanana]

18:30 “don’t ruminate! Move on with your life!” As I make being estranged from my kids my ENTIRE Internet personality through TikTok and a FB group that where other estranged parents can join together and ruminate about our situations lmao 🤦🏼‍♀️ And you know she doesn’t just keep this online only - she’s for sure telling anyone who will listen including the grocery store cashier how ungrateful her kids are.

[@The1313Vixen]

I feel like the estranged mother thinks there's a 'natural hierarchy' with her above her kids and the kids being their own whole person with independent thought is them being 'ungrateful.'

[@nineteenfortyeight]

Yep

[@BlackCover95]

Absolutely. F that mentality.

[@entirelybonkers8832]

Yeah unfortunately that’s pretty common in religious communities I grew up being told that god was a god my parents were the king and queen and we were the subjects who had to obey and listen my father was above my mother and both were above me and my siblings no one was allowed to take a bite of dinner until my father took a bite first and then my mom and then we were allowed to if we didn’t follow this we’d get punished this is something they got from a Christian “camp” they took me to as a child to teach them to “fix” my autism and behavioral issues where I had to wear a red bandana and sit through hour long seminars about the abuse my parents would be using on me because I was a bad child and my brother got to wear a blue one and got to play during the seminas with the other normal kids because he was normal it led to even worse abuse and even now my mom acknowledges that everything they taught at that camp was gross and crazy but my dads still riding the power trip

[@Ale_V72]

What truly blows my mind with estranged parents is imagining how bad they truly were to their kids. I have a difficult relationship with my Dad. He was abusive to us and my mom, and we have very different points of view in many MANY topics. But I have never thought about cutting ties with him, because despite everything he actually does show me love, affection, and we have worked together into having a better relationship now that I'm an adult. It must be so much worse for these kids, because no contact is never anyone's first choice.

[@noraraab2939]

And I think this whole dramatic, delusional victim persona really overshadows the parents that really DO suffer from strained relationships with their kids. My mom cut contact with my brother after he kept breaking her trust, took advantage of her support, and verbally abused her. And she kept forgiving him over and over. It was so painful for her to finally set a boundary with him, but she’s not on tik tok calling him an ungrateful bastard. She’s mourning the loss of her son in private, and being grateful for the children still in her life.

[@galuxius1861]

So glad you posted this today, I have to limit contact with my aunt because she kept treating me like a live in nanny and kept trying to get me to watch her kid for nearly 12 hours every day even after I moved out. I stopped babysitting for her now, and went over today for a visit. Played some games with her kid because her daughter is adorable Turns out her "quick smoke" was her ditching the kid with me to go smoke weed (legal in my country) with her friend. She tricked me into babysitting for her again

[@bradiedean7466]

16:00 another better analogy than hers: A person spends her whole life thinking bananas are supposed to be spicy bc every banana she ever has tastes spicy. Then she learns what a food allergy has and how people who are allergic to bananas often think they taste spicy when they are supposed to be mild and sweet, so they conclude they have a banana allergy

[@liminalsgarden]

This woman is a carbon copy of both of my parents combined, they act so narcissistic and like a victim. Ive been dealing with them for my whole life, and Im like: This is why Im getting emancipated, I have dreams, Im a good kid, Im responsible, I have Straight A's, graduating a year early, and yet they keep.. acting like a victim when I protect myself. Its so... draining to deal with, and Im planning on cutting contact with them. Ugh... Im sorry for the people who have to deal with parents and people like this, its actually so shitty for a person to do.

[@ericacano9057]

There people aren't parents because they love their kids. They're parents because they want someone to control and make themselves the center of their world. These 'parents' also want their kids to be their future caretakers, as if their kids only existence is to serve them forever.

[@SmutBrunch]

I had to stop and come back to the video a couple of times because it brought me to tears that being said this is the shit that my birth giver listens to for certain

[@Cabin7_official]

im sorry, you don’t deserve that

[@teacupmagick7030]

I used to feel the same before I started therapy. It does get better. Hang in there. ❤ You didn't deserve what happened to you.

[@dragonmage1175]

My mother was raised in a cult (yes I'm being fully serious) and the relief our entire family felt when she finally made the decision to cut ties with my grandmother/her mother (the one that raised her into said cult, and is still in it) was certainly something 😭 It's such a hard choice to have to make. Even with the ritual abuse my mom went through, even with all of the *everything* that happened, it took her 40 years to make the decision. It isn't just "oh I don't like you so I won't talk to you again" it's a rough internal battle

[@cryptied]

the cross around her neck speaks for itself. it’s these parents who raise kids to be caregivers when they reach a certain age and then get disappointed when their kids become independent.

[@MaxP33]

My mom is currently trying to steal my car because I couldn’t do her a favor. Yeah. They’re out there.

[@leftistleo]

After this Christmas, this video really hits home. I'm a trans guy, and I'm trying to stay in contact with my dad, as he's getting older, but he doesn't refer to me by any pronoun or any name, because I only speak to him on the phone as he is the last family member who I haven't cut out or they haven't me. He thinks avoiding calling me my dead name and just not calling me by the name I chose or not using any pronouns aside from "you", he is still respecting me... Like it's a loophole for his Christian Nationalist beliefs and that he can keep me this way. It still breaks my heart. I have borderline like you Savvy, and you know as well as I do that invalidation and emotional neglect play a role in that. Out here calling us narcissists when they spoonfed us fuckin' personality disorders and constantly shame and invalidate us. SMH

[@madalice5134]

I've only known one estranged adult child who was actually the bad guy. My oldest brother is an awful, dangerous human being and it still took him trying to 🔫 one of my younger brothers for my parents to finally cut him out. Lately, my mom has been talking about wanting to patch things up and have him visit. I told her that if he comes into this house, one of us will leave in a bodybag and one in cuffs, and I don't intend to be the one in cuffs. My parents weren't exactly the good guys in the situation, but that pos was definitely the worse one. The sad thing is that my brother that he tried to unalive has always been very forgiving and feels extreme guilt for something that was done to him. He thought he could reach out, without trying to force our eldest sibling into anyone else's life, but apparently, bif bro showed in less tgan a day that he has not changed and called my sil a b**** in front of my, at the time, 4 year old niece, vecause she told him not to drink at their house when he went to visit. From what I heard, he started to get aggressive. One thing he didn't count on is that my little brother is actually a 6 ft tall weapon collector who has a one hitter quitter now, and he adores his girls. He basically dragged him out of the house like a misbehaving puppy and just shut the door, after telling our brother exactly what would happen if tried to break down the door, which he had done several times when we were younger and trying to lock him out to protect ourselves and out youngest siblings. That is literally the only parent-child estrangment I've seen where the problem was the adult child.

[@ville-c4u]

who cares,

[@Moszan]

​@@ville-c4u Obviously you do.

[@lelduck6388]

I am very sorry you had to go through this. This is also the only example I’ve heard of it being the child’s fault for no contact.

[@Visplight]

I know one case of mental illness, where the adult child is bipolar/schitzophrenic and refusing treatment, and thinks his father planted a bomb in his teeth, and his mother is conspiring to do... not sure what. The mental illness didn't manifest until he was already an adult, so there's nothing they can do to get him treatment. I know another case where they're not no-contact, but sorta low-contact/estranged because after her they had a special needs kid that basically took up all their money, time, and emotional energy, and she felt basically ignored and abandoned. In each case, I'd say the parents did their best, but fate and the current state of medicine intervened. Other than that, and maybe cults, yeah.

[@madalice5134]

@lelduck6388 Thank you. I keep tabs on his whereabouts, and so far, he's not come back into my state since 2021, so hopefully, he'll stay away. I don't want him within a foot of my loved ones.

[@Eldritchaphilia]

i went no contact with my mother as soon as i was able at 18. she stalked me and would follow me home occasionally for a couple years. one day i was leaving my local supermarket and unbeknownst to me she was there as well. i felt someone grab the back of my shirt and turned around, expecting it to be a friend from highschool or something. this was mid covid so i could only see her eyes and they were insanely sunken in like she hadnt slept in months. all she said was "why dont you talk to me anymore?" i immediately said HELL no, grabbed my fiance and ran to our car. what an insane thing to do.

[@ErutaniaRose]

Wild how people think providing the basic physical needs to a child they chose to bring into existence or their home is somehow a transaction in which they are owed. That’s creepy as fuck.

[@biancaemily139]

not even my drug addict father is this bad of a parent. while I was a kid it was rough, but my dad is constantly apologizing for everything he's done. i have 0 empathy for this woman and quite frankly I hate her

[@ellis20022]

doormat mom's kid came on the app and exposed her and jesus christ that woman deserves to be in JAIL and she's calling her kids ungrateful lol

[@asliwins337]

My dad phoned me on New Years Eve to tell me he hopes my child disowns me when she grows up, brought up how I'd favoured my aunt when I was 5 (and how this was terrible of me), and continued to claim he didn't know why I wasn't talking to him. My favourite part was when I told him "every time we talk it becomes an argument because you disagree with everything I say": "no I don't!" 🙃

[@ayajones6069]

When I went no-contact with my abuser, being taken out of the will wasnt even a thought in my head. All I wanted was to get away from her and to have peace. Even now, years later, IDGAF about her will.

[@asterionwren]

my parents get really angry when i turn out to be the picture perfect kid they envisioned. i just brought up dying my hair while in college and they told me that if i “dyed my hair a carnival color” then they’d assume im not serious about my future and stop paying for my tuition. i kept asking them why they felt like that and my dad said “why are you doing this to me” like sir. “i asked you a question” “you’re torturing me!!” i.

[@mmm-fs4kb]

My dad takes care of his mom who has alzheimer and he never complains. But she was good mom and loving grandmother to me and my sister. And I will definetly take care of my parents when they get old

[@MsEsquire83]

I guess I’m a doormat mom. My kids are 21, 15, 11, 10. I don’t recall them asking to be born, I don’t recall them making any agreements with me that by me giving them life (because I wanted to) they’re eternally in servitude to me, and I don’t expect anything from them (aside from the basics of be good people, be kind, treat yourself and others well, etc). Ever. I’ve tried my best, I’ve made a million mistakes, I’ll fuck up a million more times, they call me out sometimes and I listen. I’ve lived 21 years and counting nearly in a state of perpetual guilt over not having done XYZ different and better. So I guess I’m a doormat and I’m fine with that.

[@guysmybonesaregettingsquishy]

you cant change the past so i think taking accountability and taking your kids seriously is the next best thing and only thing that I ask for personally! I hope the feeling of guilt can someday change into a feeling of responsibility of working on your relationships and doing your best in repairing whatever "damage" your kids bring to your attention since i feel like guilt can have a destructive impact, but maybe it is different for you. i hope you and your kids keep on working through it together!

[@MallyMcAlli]

Context: This woman is estranged from her youngest daughter. Her other two children are still in contact with her. The youngest daughter moved to Australia, fell in love, and decided to get married. Mom tried to control aspects of the wedding and kept insinuating that she didn't feel like her daughter's relationship was legitimate. She also shamed her daughter's choice of wedding dress, saying that it was too revealing and was therefore disrespectful to all of their family members (as she shouldn't be tempting other men with her body, that kinda shit). Her daughter uninvited her from the wedding and has gone no contact with her. The most horrific part is that she published her book, in which she lambasts this daughter and makes herself into the victim....during the week of her estranged daughter's wedding.

[@rachelwilliams8017]

0:38 OH NO HE FELL!!

[@rachelwilliams8017]

4:00 THEY BOTH FELL! WHAT DO WE DO???? 😂

[@hatchetfieldharpie3276]

@@rachelwilliams8017PANIC!

[@brycesanville1965]

"MY LEG"

[@sarasabotage986]

He said oh no, not the narcs! I'm outtttt

[@Spities]

They are too pure for these videos. Poor Dwaekki and Bokkari....

[@zadarasimoleons1019]

I'll never understand the denial and the blaming. If my daughter grew up and stopped talking to me, I'd be destroyed. I'd simply never forgive myself. The rest of my life would be waiting for her to give me the chance to rebuild. The day she was born was the day she became my everything.

[@VibinWithRunnTheSnowman]

Great mother alert Great mother alert. When you have a child you are FOREVER their parent and your life should have extreme focus on being there for your child. If your child is so disgusted by you they don't even want to talk to you shows it all

[@melissam4954]

14:35 I may not know how to fly a plane, but I know a crash when I see one.

[@honorarydemon1271]

BOOOOOOOM!

[@AW-xc1xc]

When my now estranged parent was guilting me the most for the desicion to cut them off, my therapist said this to me: "Going no contact with a parent is one of the hardest things to do. No one cuts people off for no reason." And it's true. I tried so many times to reason with them. I even used to write small essays I would recite to them when they had hurt me, to get them to change. I still have the lists of things they said and did to me because the gaslighting got so bad they nearly convinced me I was crazy. Took a long while to heal from it, and I'm still not "done."

[@blehblehblehdracula]

Hearing how she talks really tells me more than her words do. Her disposition and attitude show me why she doesn't have a relationship with her kids.

[@jamiejam9976]

Idk, her words also tell us a lot about why she doesn't have a relationship with her kids

[@vanadium723]

My homophobic+transphobic mom who constantly berated me in the middle of a million mental health issues acted so shocked when i up and left. and she wonders why my brother started pulling away before i did...

[@slykitchenwitch]

I hate how she started this whole "movement" because she was trying to get her kid to stay in her life while also calling her an ungrateful bastard. you cannot convince me that she didn't say that exact thing if not worse to her kid's face. A mother who truly cares about the relationship with their kid(s) wouldn't call them a bastard ever. even if the kid "out of anger" cut contact

[@_goblin-_-mode_]

Nah she's not trying to have a relationship with her kid. She's trying to avoid taking responsibility for the relationship failing. Truthfully, she cares more about people seeing her the way she wants them to than the relationship with her daughter. It's all for show, relationship be damned.

[@slykitchenwitch]

@_goblin-_-mode_ i didn't say she wanted a relationship with her kid(s) just that she wanted them in her life.

[@kd8663]

Exactly. If this is how she portrays herself publicly to appear as a victim and a good parent, god only knows how she behaves behind closed doors. I can’t understand how she doesn’t see how abhorrently arrogant and bitter she comes across in her videos.

[@Alex-pn2hn]

LISTEN UP LIBERALS MY KIDS DON'T CALL ME OR VISIT ON HOLIDAYS ANYMORE

[@raindrop3366]

This isn't even an exaggeration.

[@Queerlien]

My parents were okay with me being gay, they weren't okay with me being my own person though. ☠️ It's not just conservative parents, but I do notice majority of estranged parents are. Mine were so liberal they gave me drugs when I was 12 years old. Like wtf??

[@eparigon]

ATTENTION BAJORAN WORKERS MY WIFE LEFT ME (sorry your comment reminded me of a star trek youtube poop that i love)

[@ArdeaCygnus]

Thank you so much for this video. I haven't spoken to my mother in 12 years. She has four kids aged mid-30s to early 40s, no grandkids, a daughter who won't speak to her (me), and two sons who she lives with who never date, despite (at least one) wanting to. And she still doesn't think she possibly did anything wrong. Thank you for calling this BS out. Watching this person made me so angry, and I felt so validated that you were angry, too. Thank you for all you do. 💜

[@pleegjepleegje]

Some kids can be awful, despite good parents. But kids don't owe their parents anything. You let your adult child determine their own boundaries even when you see that they mess everything up. No parent should go on the internet to put their child down in front of the whole world time after time. This is horrific.

[@ekkosketch]

i've literally explained everything my dad has ever done to me hundreds of times since i was 7-8. he still has the nerve to ask why i don't talk to him anymore. these kind of parents are so infuriating because why is your kid more mature than you are

[@ekkosketch]

on the other hand my mom makes mistakes sometimes because she's human but we have conversations about things and mutually try to be better

[@drew5307]

4:12 Who says this about their kid??!!! Lady is Literally incriminating herself lmaooo

[@MoonBunnyEnchanted]

I joined her fb group and lasted only a few days. It was mostly awful. There were a few parents in there who were obviously mourning the loss of contact and there for support. The majority were angry, hateful and grossly misunderstood how therapy works. They blame their child’s therapist and say it’s just a trend. Well, I cut contact a decade ago and I am still grieving the loss of my parents. It’s not done to jump on a trend. This generation is stopping abuse cycles. We know more about abuse and trauma and people want to get better, not just survive. We have more empathy and understanding of each other now too. Out of 100 kids that cut contact, maybe 1% is doing it because they are indeed a spoiled brat. It’s not the majority. Even so, parents need to learn to let go.

[@MoonBunnyEnchanted]

Btw, it’s the invalidation that causes the ptsd and trauma. It’s such a simple thing to fix to start healing the relationship.🤦🏻‍♀️

[@iwa7507]

Insulting her children as Bastards says all i need to know

[@drawinguntildawn]

My mother sounds so much like this woman and it just brings up so much of my trauma.. My mother would blame me for our issues, that I was ungrateful and rude, that I had no respect for them when they actively fought with me since I was 8 years old over chores, school work, my weight, interests, friends.. My father was very emotionally absent too, which didn’t help. I had gone no contact thanksgiving of 2023 and didn’t talk to them for a few months before my grandma had convinced me to unblock them, and this Christmas I had found out my parents were going on a big trip without me with my sister and grandparents.. Not to mention they’ve been going on trips without me and doing things without me since I moved out at 17 because they cut me off from all my friends because they distrusted my online friends I vented to about my situation, believing everyone online was trying to kidnap or kill me/my younger sister.. I talked to them again because I worried for my sister, we have an eight year difference, and it hurts SO much that they treat her so much better than me.. That she is so happy when I didn’t get to be… I’m jealous of the relationship they all have and I feel like leaving every day I think about it because I just feel.. Absent. That I’m not apart of their family and the fact they don’t respect my identity, choices in life, don’t want/try to help when I’m going through hardships even though they have the time/money/resources to do so, and the fact they don’t even invite me out to events feels like they don’t even want me in their life… I’m not sure if I should block them all again, because I do feel like I’m “overreacting” sometimes and that doing it out of the blue is just.. Anticlimactic. Idk what to do.

[@ELC4222]

Her channel should be renamed DARVO Mom. (Deny Attack Reverse Victim Offender) DARVO Mom doesn’t want to be held accountable for treating her children like Doormats.

[@GSC1ark]

I am 69 years old and am the child in this story. It is healing to understand how my mother abused me throughout my childhood.

[@gracerileyk]

“That was her phone, not yours” was actually so helpful for me

[@MsSmile300]

Her plane analogy would be more accurate if she said you read a flight manual and then felt confident watching someone else fly a plane and being able to identify what they were doing. And yeah, I absolutely would trust you to do that ma'am, because like learning about abuse and then being able to identify it when it's happening, it isn't hard. Is it possible for someone's kid to just be an ahole and cut their parent off? Sure. Is it the most likely scenario? No. And it's pretty clear it isn't what happened to this woman just by how she talks about it.

[@entirelybonkers8832]

Exactly this if a bunch of people including professionals are saying “this is abuse” and I see my parents doing it over and over and it’s hurting me I’m pretty confident calling them abus

[@johnfaber100]

My former 65 year old roommate told me on the first day that he has unspecified problems with his daughter. A few weeks later, he threatened to have his friend come over and beat me up because I left a few drops of oil on the stove. I think I can guess what those problems are.

[@soyevquirsefron990]

Re: airplane. If “mom” is criticizing someone thinking they’re an expert and doing things that affect lots of people, whose behavior sounds more like that? The kid makes a personal decision to end one relationship with one parent? Or the mom creating a social media platform with followers circle-jerking each other about how all their kids are jerks but they’re all great? Every accusation is a confession

[@chaihuahua]

this video is so validating for me because the things that she is saying that you are pointing out how abusive they are are literally the exact type of shit my dad has done to me my entire life. hes literally told me that i "gave him a complex" because i wouldnt speak to him (because obviously i owe it to my abuser to talk to him and show him respect and caring that he never has shown me /sarcasm), hes consistently tried to put it in my head that *i* am the abuser and hes the victim, and any time he does anything somewhat nice even if its just basic shit i get nervous about it because i know hes just going to hold it over my head and use it as an excuse to show how im ungrateful

[@angelicafernandezcastro1882]

Lol, I went no contact with my dad when I was, like, 13 yo. It wasn't really hard, he was borderline absent most of my childhood, coming to visit every 3 months or so and only providing economically and he considered himself a saint for "not walking out on his kids" but the moment I wanted him fully absent (because he kinda kidnapped me to get back at my mom over the divorce, and then spent the entire 2 hour long ride back telling me how I might as well get r4ped on any given alley when he's gone for good) he was all like "but what did I do? I was a great dad! Clothed you, fed you gave you food and shelter, I even went to pick you up at school sometimes!" Like he didn't do all of that blatantly under duress. I was a pre-teen, not an idiot. I only wanted him to apologize about the pseudo-kidnapping, after that, but he went SO HARD into his "there was nothing wrong there" mentality that I just erased him of my life for five years straight. I broke the streak when I was 19yo (the middle of the pandemic, I wasn't thinking straight. Don't @ me) and instead of him having tought about it, I found out he doesn't even remember the whole deal! Like, it was just a tuesday, he said *some mean things* , and all of a sudden his ungrateful daughter wants him away. I knew I couldn't expect intelligence from a cop, but DAMN

[@erinmalone2669]

I have heard a lot of stories of kids whose parents never showed up because they had to work to survive. Those kids were sad. Their parents weren’t there, but they understood that their parents were doing everything they could and I’m sure they were not dismissed with their disappointment. A lot of people who love and respect their parents a lotmissed out on their parents presence.

[@SilvrRazorFeather]

19:30 I know firsthand someone who went through this, my childhood friend's parent was an addict while bringing them up, leading to so many legitimately psychologically damaging behaviors towards their kids. My friend spent the first 5-10 years of adulthood estranged from that parent, repeatedly going back and forth on whether or not to contact them. In the last few years this parent has announced their sobriety and active work to better themselves, and reached out to my friend hoping to tentatively resume contact and repair the relationship. It's been going amazingly. There's been hard, emotional conversations and and genuine admittance of guilt. This is one of the happy endings that these kinds of parents should learn from.

[@CaptainPikeachu]

No genuinely good parent would go online in person to blast their children. If you're a good parent who really cares about your kids, you'd deal with your issues privately instead of trying to humiliate your kids in public on purpose. No real good parents do that.