EU4 Players Are Only Humans

eu4 colonial gameplay be like
It's just a meme, don't take this seriously

[@mistery7893]

Portuguese explaining How their Small Nation became one of the biggest cultures in the world

[@nikitagrebennikov1232]

The most annoying thing in Eu4. So I delete Portugal before every game in "constructor nations"

[@GAarcher]

​@@nikitagrebennikov1232 WTF Bro did you use cheats for for deleting a minor? What a noob

[@cadenibz]

@@nikitagrebennikov1232 yeah bro just ruin every single one of your eu games 😂😂

[@ElKITENAUT]

@@cadenibz Portugal adding nothing whatsoever to not colonial playthroughs:

[@mistjor6286]

​@@ElKITENAUTThat's like saying Brandenburg doesn't add anything in early colonial lmao stfu, both countries are good on Colonial and Non-Colonial respectively

[@someonethatlikesyou7713]

"um i didn't count it, im not really a math guy"

[@fiveninenowNOW]

I didn't count it so it doesn't matter ... right?

[@someonethatlikesyou7713]

@@fiveninenowNOW I can confirm it too I didn't count it

[@someonethatlikesyou7713]

@@Adam.Testouri you got epirote'd

[@cogtroper]

600 or 6 million natives, what the difference? - Adão Egeto

[@salemhajj3112]

"when we love we don't count" French saying

[@AntonBerglund88]

Paradox on their way to not impliment genocide mechanics in hoi4

[@tuluppampam]

To be fair the AI is so stupid you basically always commit genocide against them in a war

[@rezaganjizadeh4263]

​@@tuluppampamhe is talking about gasing people of other ethnicities

[@MajorTom420]

Harolde how did i find you here

[@lizardperson9648]

@@tuluppampam yeah, I said the same in real life, but nobody thinks it's a valid argument.

[@breadbutcooler]

systematically executing minorities is a little different from colonization

[@NoMouthNoScream]

It's not about profit, it's about sending a message

[@saemonno-suke9959]

oy vey. thats anti semetic.

[@auzk2js71]

Me using scorch earth on all the enemy provinces i occupy:

[@taikutsunaneko9125]

it prety effident when you goingto destroy a big nation I remember devestating all france to at least 50 devasitation as austria@@auzk2js71

[@vierkantbonsai7450]

Me using my vassals as cannonfodder because I take to many wars at once:

[@hotgarbage105]

Me wondering why I'm 2 mil techs behind my neighbors

[@HenriqueCosta-fg1pk]

With a 6 mil leader to make it worst

[@moajjem04]

"There were only plants and animals in the land" - EU4 Portugal player probably.

[@hotman_pt_]

Based

[@doobulldorph8849]

Personally I prefer not having the settlements repeatedly rebelling and razing the colony that has taken 12 years to get 400 people

[@gamgamesplayer4506]

send a 1-3k army

[@kesorangutan6170]

Yeah Native coexistence is the best

[@gamgamesplayer4506]

@@kesorangutan6170 Just send a 1k army to the province, 3k if you have lower than mil tech 6

[@kesorangutan6170]

@@gamgamesplayer4506 I didn't play this game for some time but 1 regiment army means instant death while fighting 3k+ natives. That's how I remember. You should send atleast 3 or 4 regiments. If it's Africa, send 4 to 6 regiments depending on tech and ferocity. I'm probably remembering it wrong or they already tweaked it. Another thing is you have to pay for the army. I don't like paying for the army during the peace time. It's annoying. If only I could select which armies get financial support. That way I can always support my overseas armies and conquistadors that are exploring the new world.

[@gamgamesplayer4506]

@@kesorangutan6170 Fake. Natives always are on tech 1 so there's no need for more regiments unless ur too early in the game and doesn't still have tech 4

Me, colonizing with native assimilation, while playing with Spain: SEXOOOOO!!

[@Maturecoin69]

When conrado

[@jesusperez-bz6pq]

Just like your ancestors

[@GigaRoman]

Sex

[@TheOfficalBiggestBird]

Damn you goin to hell 😂

[@Mufti_Revan]

Tbh they should just rename it to that

[@jihunpark3564]

Natives uprising? What natives?

[@Imperial_stroopwafel]

982? Those are rooky numbers

[@DDD1234AAA1]

usually 100 times more yea?

[@stonedcanuck4213]

*rookie

[@heisenballs6944]

@@stonedcanuck4213rooky

[@lilben4184]

gotta pump those numbers up

[@luan8353]

The most frustrating part is when your colonial nation forms and they refuse to let you genocide the natives

[@unionist6668]

"Dad! Stop breaking my toys!"

[@trivane626]

Attack natives in anbennar mountains be like

[@guffly8641]

982 mil for one click, kills 500 natives

[@hescoming4544]

OPM Dwarven Hold moment

[@B00bik]

Declares war on goblin tag, goblin tag tries to attack, entire stack dies to tech 6 level tactics natives on dwarvroad [83]

[@kylebricky6419]

Just 982? “You gotta pump those numbers up, those are rookie numbers”

[@IronClique]

In my defense, cloves are worth like 8 ducates, so yeah

[@olivermorin3303]

What are you doing with the cloves that makes them worth that much?🤔 (I've had europeans' cooking, I know they don't use spices.)

[@jodofe4879]

Dutch Empire moment

[@Atajew]

Nothing wrong with culture converting amirite

[@Noobmaster-of3xk]

Of course you would say that

[@kebabdefender49]

To be honest sir, you are horrible at converting BOTH religion and culture. 500 hundred years in Bulgaria and they are still Orthodox Slavs.

[@geometrix236]

when ottomans convert armemians ☠️

[@llamaboioflusatia]

Yeah… I had this exact conversation with one of my friends a while back, since we were playing stellaris and talking about EU4 (I have EU4, he doesn’t), and he said stellaris clearly wins on the war crime scale since it lets you industrially genocide entire species and explode their planets, while I contested it saying EU4 has a designated attack natives button, and also let’s you eradicate cultures, albeit a bit less easily. I do think Stellaris wins just due to the scale of the atrocities, but EU4 is a good contender

[@MrMousseTache]

In stellaris you can choose to litterally make livestock out of another sentient species

[@leonlew5136]

Yeah sorry as an EU4 and Stellaris player Stellaris takes this one with low dif

[@Predator20357]

“It’s a Cannon Event”-EU4 Players explaining why they nearly wipe out their nation so they can wipe out all the natives on a continent.

[@Alex_FRD]

Counterargument: revolts are annoying.

[@victorconway444]

Counter-counterargument: Your colonies become many times less economically valuable because you lose out on native assimilation by killing everyone. Native trading policy is objectively the best colonial policy. Paired together with the policy you get from completing Exploration/Expansion ideas you don't even have to worry about uprisings anyway.

[@rinzzler366]

That always bpthered me, the npcs never get native revolts.

[@JoboGamezzz]

Don’t mind me I’m just a Portuguese guy and the entire coastal populations of Africa and Brazil have oddly enough disappeared

[@asdasdasdasd8970]

Colonisers: "I'm a mil tech behind 😢" Blobbers 4 dip techs behind: "Get on my level"

[@hay6444]

Ahh yes it’s 1473 people ask me “what are you taking for your second idea group” Second???? I’m still admin 4

[@bulgar1595]

Me commiting masive genocides and cultural converting in eu4:

[@indianhacker9062]

We do a little bit of trolling

[@redcorruption4561]

Eu4 players spending 1078 diplo points on culture conversions

[@gabrielethier2046]

Yeah i had to make Anatolia greek again

[@Kobzar69420]

@@gabrielethier2046 chad

[@Gral.Gianni]

@@gabrielethier2046 chadius.

[@baschkan]

And I had to convert all Balkan to Turkish

[@greergrapple2227]

Me celebrating getting triangular trade , and the cannibal explorer events

[@anonymousman34]

those are rookie numbers

[@ozyaba]

We need a mod with genocide button in hoi4

[@mrgopnik5964]

Hey, it's not my fault they rebell every 2 months!

[@Mr_Valentin.]

my French Louisiana had really dark history...

[@Russia_templar]

British moment:

[@Ajolote_comunista]

Oh yeah, British ☕️

[@davidepoggi]

- How many humans, after all?

[@AHersheyHere]

Spanish Queen: You were only supposed to trade in the New World, not conquer them. Columbus: They have gold. Spanish Queen: Have some more military power.

[@superboygamer4034]

Never, The Welsh Colonies always get ‘THEY WILL LOVE TO BECOME WELSH’ and then everyone is friends. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿❤️

[@bcfoss515]

absolutely eldritch

[@superchicken3554]

Wales is epic 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

[@jodofe4879]

Everyone would love to become WELSH

[@compatriot852]

In the Americas, I leave the natives alone. In Africa, it's the different story

[@chaos4395]

bro's got his priorities straight 💀

[@X4our]

Chad

[@safs3098]

​@@chaos4395 American princess lose religion and culture regardless of native size but African and Asian provinces keep their religion and culture which causes problems later down the line

[@chaos4395]

@@safs3098 yea i know

[@Trill-Is-Real]

Bruh what how and why

[@thetimelessone2173]

"Why is my army so weak!" Meanwhile their military technology because of this

[@bishoprudinn28]

pffft only 982??

[@Hashishin13]

They did it to each other before we got here so, you know.

[@cogtroper]

Don’t ask me how the all the dutch ended up in South America after I got the Burgundian inheritance 😳

[@taikutsunaneko9125]

do you remember the good old days that expelling people converting cities

[@nihil32]

Let's just say that each province has one chance before total extermination.

[@Mr_Valentin.]

I never chose anything else other than the native assimilation policy

[@prestonjones1653]

I just ignore the natives. Before getting Conquest of Paradise though (and thus being able to set the colonization policies) I would genocide entire continents for annoying me.

[@Wilderweincd]

To be fair, real life tells us that it would have been the best option in the long run.

[@melfsade5557]

real life lacks a comparison in which the mil points were spent on smth else

[@Bezunk]

best way to make sure your colonies are pure

[@cristiamjulianayalape]

I am a man therefore I am a human and nothing human is alien to me.

[@hoseinsafaei9920]

Better safe then sorry

[@tariqskanaal8187]

You don’t have to do it just get a mercenary company to garrison it

[@georgemakrov6174]

And pay??????? Why

[@flaggy185]

"Rome hasnt fallen until our last bastion is gone. And we arent leaving until we reclaim what is from us!"

[@cabseyy]

I would love a “enslave the natives” option when you establish a colony

[@arnavthesceintist1149]

Am I the only one who used a console command to get unlimited military power?

[@timesnewlogan2032]

And then there’s France, getting bonus events and development without once having to worry about native uprisings.

[@John_1-1_in_Japanese]

I really don't think its worth it anyways. Taking the Assimilation native policy + the Clergy privilege that gives uprising chance & assimilation seems clearly better. Yes, you lose the +20 settlers, but I don't know if the difference matters when you also lose the assimilation events that seem pretty common. Not to mention if you arent garrisoning armies there to fight uprisings, you're just wasting monarch points anyways.

[@hotman_pt_]

No, nowadays it's just better to get clergy privilege and exploration expansion policy to get -100% revolt chance

[@alidz2588]

Well.... they refused to elaborate.

[@Kardia_of_Rhodes]

Not my fault Paradox didn't bother to give me a reason to not massacre the natives.

[@inreallife530]

So sad “Holocaust” is not an available action in Hoi4

[@mchunter_]

The Native just doing migration on another land i swear 🤠

[@trohntobi6134]

me after spending 800000 mil on Repress Rebellion:France i can explain

[@nathaniel1207]

bro i needed those 40 battles for my army modernization mission as russia, and im not starting another war right now im waiting on truces

[@vierkantbonsai7450]

Me changing the whole culture to my main culture because I get more money: I always feel like a psychopath doing it...

[@prussiancat5357]

based

[@maikatideibaskapanaumrqlatupa]

why do people attack natives? I thought it gives extra development if there's more native population present.

[@Midnight_Metro]

It just gives a slight bonus to production (only like .01 per 100 natives) so it's not worth it compared to just not having to ever worry about a colony getting damaged.

[@safs3098]

​@@Midnight_Metro wait, it it's 0.1 per 100 natives then a province with 6000 natives can give 6 production bonus which is hige

[@Midnight_Metro]

@@safs3098 No, I said .01 per 100 native, so a province is 6000 would give you .6. Negligible.

[@safs3098]

@midnight6150 so it's worthless then. 0.6 production doesn't justify the hassle of spending time and diplo points on culture conversion, especially since most are around 1 to 2 thousands natives meaning only .2

[@Dremons7]

​@@Midnight_Metrowrong, they give a bonus to base goods produced, which gets modifiers from stuff like trade companies. If your end goal is production and trade natives are worth keeping, especially on provinces with high value trade goods

[@realpseudosudovod]

>coexistence policy

[@TheIceTeagames]

Guys just put some leftover mercensrys there they can still fight the natives

[@shugafoo2847]

I always go native coextistance

[@dr.coomer8027]

imagine stellaris players

[@pavelius140]

Belgium when colonizing Africa

[@namelessaugustus]

Napoli Juve aperol

[@gabrote42]

Such a classic meme

[@idontlikerome2744]

Gamer move

[@aaronhpa]

isn't the goods production bonus worth keeping them alive?

[@user-sx3rx9gn1z]

This is so deep. Really says a lot about society and stuff.

[@CMitchell808]

Ah yes, the genocide button.

[@fadzilnorr2094]

I usually deployed 1-4 infantry

[@Cheetoxx]

This is so true☠️

[@l-nolazck-rn24]

I have wars to fight on the continent, not human rights violations to read

[@sandercohen5543]

i just put 1 regiment of infantry on all my colonies like what, why would you ever use this feature?

[@hyperion3145]

Less need to have your military spread out and automatically converts colonies in some places like Africa. Probably was thought out as a way to save money.

[@Sr.Pirulito]

Me cobeligering the entirety of Mexico to form New Spain

[@diogomelo7897]

I can't be bothered to send stacks all over the world to keep the colonies safe until I finished exploration and expansion ideas. Better just go with trading and pray that RNG helps me with assimilation

[@ziomekzmiasta9292]

13:13 zapowiada się małżeństwo w stylu Habsburgów za kilkadziesiąt lat

[@Brenoeleuterio]

Waiting for a true genocide mechanic

[@pedrobarbosaduarte3704]

muscle memory

[@IndependentObserver]

and 974 dip points on culture "conversion"

[@turackaraca4354]

whats done is done, lets learn from it & not repeat the mistakes

[@CarlosSuarez-tk8qk]

Just like my ancestors did in the new world 💀

[@edim108]

I am 100% convinced France is the best colonial country just bc they have -50% native uprising chance so if you're running exploration expansion you can take the +20 settlers colonial policy and still be at -100% uprising chance without the estate privilege for that.

[@markphelt6395]

On a side note: I never liked that song.

[@gzs7483]

Its the genocide button

[@user-wz9rn1rd4z]

attack natives ?????

[@LeSpaghet]

Guys he’s only human after all, don’t put the blame on him.

[@kaztarihtanu]

That is we love GTA games after al. Comitting crimes is a well known human tradition across all cultures.

[@sirsheep8011]

Canada moment

[@Danaraja12345]

I always safe new world native from european power as ottoman lol

[@gabrielmarques2043]

It's nothing personal you know

[@emc3000]

Damn some of yall have never heard of accepted cultures.

[@nublas2224]

more like 100000000 points

[@bassybgaming3388]

EU4?

[@FauzyGamerz]

worth it

[@TheJbjfan]

They asked for it after the third attack in one year 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@isimsizanimator1291]

You mean modernize the natives button?

[@shijinbaba]

Ming : 6

[@luanandreas]

Aelnar players be like