even men don't trust other men*... but we're supposed to? lol no.

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In this episode of her podcast, Elle dives into the discussion around women's fear of men, triggered by a social media trend where women were asked to choose between being trapped in the woods with a man or a bear. Elle unpacks the universal fear women have towards men, supported by various anecdotal evidence, literary examples, news articles, and personal experiences. She also discusses the societal gaslighting that occurs when women express this fear. Elle highlights the importance of understanding that men are aware of this fear, often using it to their advantage. She further criticizes men's lack of empathy and the victim-blaming that occurs when women are attacked. Throughout the podcast, Elle advocates for women's safety and empowerment, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and caution when interacting with men.

[@octavia307]

I stopped taking the train to work because of men. I was physically grabbed, harassed, and followed multiple times until I figured it's not worth the gas and parking savings to keep doing this. My male co-worker asked me why I stopped taking the train, and I told him. He said, "Hmm, I've taken the train for years and never had a problem." I said, 'That's because you're a man,' and it was like a light flicked on. This man is in his 50s and oblivious 😐

[@chidiogoikeh4550]

I’ve had a lot of bad experiences with them on the train as well 🧍🏾‍♀️

[@DiMagnolia]

I had a 2-3 hour public transport commute to my first job when I was 18 so I’d be leaving work around 6 pm coming home around 8-9 pm. It was so scary some nights waiting at the station for the next bus or train as a very small 18-year old girl. I got approached by all sorts of creepy older men, some clearly could’ve been my father or grandfather. Ended up quitting that job after a few months because the commute was not only so long but so dangerous for me.

[@user-dx2dm8oq8g]

People around you in public will literally watch you get sexually harassed and walk away. I had to get back in the subway train once and go to a public library and wait for a family member to pick me up so that a man wouldn't be able to follow me home. People hate gentrification, but I'll say that harassers who are jobless will often hang in areas near the main streets and harass women/girls who go to work/school. In some places they put fences to get these men to find a new spot and it's a relief. Living in a nice area also lessens the street harrassment.

[@kgs2280]

@@chidiogoikeh4550I’ve heard gross and disgusting stories about men on subways in NYC, too. I read a book by one of the current feminist authors who said when she was in middle school (I think) she was on the subway, it was packed, and this man right behind her kept bumping into her. When she got home, she found a white sticky substance on the back of her coat. I was so grossed out! And that’s besides the men who would grope her. To think of that happening to a 12 or 13 year old girl. Ugh! But, unfortunately, that is the age a lot of us are when we start becoming aware of men doing creepy things. When I was about 12, I was walking home from the theater on a Saturday (it was only about a mile, and I knew the area very well, and I walked that far every day walking home from school). I noticed this guy in a car slow down as he passed me and he gave me a very creepy smile (very predatory) and waved his hand (more like wiggled his fingers) at me. After he passed, he turned around and passed me again. Same creepy smile and finger wiggle/wave. After he passed I saw him slow down and start another U-turn, and I hightailed it outta there! I ran to the nearest business I knew and used their phone to call my mom (this was before cell phones). That’s when I started understanding men’s intentions.

[@chidiogoikeh4550]

@@kgs2280 I’ve heard too many terrible things about men in NYC in general. It’s so disheartening

[@uh...8879]

Male Logic: Mocking women for their trauma and fears will totally prove they're safer 😍

[@user-sl1ec2mf6r]

Don't care about what they say

[@oOIIIMIIIOo]

The same with them harrassing women for opting out of contact with men in general as if it is some kind of lovable and/or erotic. When I ask some of them if they think their reactions make them more desirable I never get an answer. They are not capable of love.

[@RhythmAddictedState]

Trauma and fears created by men themselves

[@cookeepuff]

They'd rather punish the women for being afraid than try to become better people.

[@LuckyCat5577]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@yuriosato3565]

Ask these men if they'll leave their daughters with a man.

[@bubullibooooo9928]

Many of them will....sadly!

[@funmilayoaina2658]

Ask these men if they will choose either a bear in the woods or prison with men

[@memonos]

Ask them if they would let their daughter date an older guy… I asked this question to someone who was in his 30s and he said no while he was hitting on me.

[@amandasunshine2]

Sad they need to hear it about their property before they care

[@shylapollard5165]

Or little boys, or animals or anything at this point. I know y'all heard about the 4 guys getting arrested over a monitor lizard

[@LuckyCat5577]

The bear doesn't hate me just because I'm a female. #proBear

[@kgs2280]

And a bear would never grape you.

[@Miel0312]

And you can still hide. He will not look for you and hunt you down if you stay put and out of his way.

[@LuckyCat5577]

@@Miel0312💯 exactly it's not about hate for the Bear.

[@LuckyCat5577]

@@kgs2280 it's ridiculous that the men come on here and try to say we're "crazy" for choosing the Bear. I'd rather be in any situation with any animal than a strange man. My odds are definitely better with the animals! #ichoosethebear

[@johnmacrae2006]

@LuckCat5577 This comment section sure is emotional. I think you’re all being disingenuous when you say you’d rather be stuck in the woods with a bear.

[@RaqueLauren]

We all lock our doors each night because of MEN. Not women. Not bears. MEN

[@dday3322]

🔥🔥

[@KashyapKashyap-zb5hg]

Keep Targeting 'Men'.

[@user-sg4ov7ng4h]

Fear enough, i never imagine a woman breaking in.

[@OreoCookie324]

@@KashyapKashyap-zb5hgsomeones mad😂😂

[@KashyapKashyap-zb5hg]

@@OreoCookie324 if people Target ' women ' a lot women will also be mad specially if they were innocent.

[@ghostpuppet4804]

I've literally watched several TikToks of women telling bears to go away and the bears actually listened 💀A man (asterisk) could NEVER

[@LnvoMv]

Men will say “no means yes” lol

[@NK-snob]

Omg lol this is so underrated

[@Lucid-dream3]

No bear's going to think your'e playing hard to get

[@lalaland7961]

@@LnvoMv a bear would growl as he left man would say you’re a b anyways

[@LnvoMv]

@@lalaland7961 They are kids with beards who don’t take no for an answer

[@hellbooru9639]

I wouldn't be risking prison if I defended myself against the bear.

[@uniquenewyork3325]

If you shoot a bear even after it's done attacking you, you're gonna be called brave and smart

[@DiMagnolia]

THIS

[@Lost-mb1gj]

The thing that makes me hesitant about choosing the bear is that the poor bear would pay with its life for being a bear. A man would get off the next day.

[@milkbread5036]

FACTS

[@a.b.2405]

SAY IT LOUDER

[@SylenkoIrene]

Men all over the internet are making fun of women’s fears and then are surprised so many women are choosing the bear. These are the men that I would be scared to be stuck in the forest with.

[@bentiuto]

Absolutely! I just saw more videos discussing this question and the comment sections were full of men insulting women. Absolutely despicable…

[@uniquenewyork3325]

Exactly, a bear wouldn't be all up on the internet throwing a hissy fit and threatening women 😅

[@ElizabethGeiger-ye1sf]

​@@bentiutoI love it when they tell on themselves.

[@Lunakitty1234]

I’ve seen them retaliate with memes of the woman being attacked by the bear. It’s disgusting. They’re being stupid. Shit like this is only proving our point.

[@ryanmackenzie6109]

Seriously. Even if those men, by some miracle, wouldn't outright ATTACK these women, you know DAMN WELL they _would_ take delight in terrorizing her the WHOLE time they're stuck together. Creeping up. Making loud noises. Making her paranoid. And then come around with "haha you should have seen your face. Oh get over it, it's just a joke."

[@user-qu5js9vw9o]

The fact that men don’t understand this is kinda the whole problem..

[@Greenplanet949]

They understand. They just don’t want to admit how screwed up most of them are.

[@user-sg4ov7ng4h]

@@Greenplanet949 yeah they're trying to cope and feel like they're "not one of them", but their approach is awful, like ik they get easily mad for "woke"

[@Dojafish]

It's sexism, just plain sexism. And we wonder why men and women are so divided.

[@grandempress1947]

You'd be surprised by how many males genuinely don't understand. I used to be one of them before my partner further enlightened me. Some don't think of other random males. My initial response was "I'd obviously never do something like that to anyone, so what reason do they have to be afraid of me?" Dumb way of looking at it, I know. But it happens And from the same lense, most of us don't know or just go bragging about shitty things we do, so we often don't know any better ourselves when with other males. I'm pretty sure a LOT of us would answer the exact same way

[@marcey4207]

​@@grandempress1947 how is it possible bot to understand though i don't understand that at all i even think about the feelings of bugs how do, like.. i don't know ive had plenty of weird stuff, guys saying weird and uncomfortable stuff to me and as soon as i want to have a normal conversation that isn't about my body or what drugs im doing they get fucking mad, like what the hell, and i wouldn't understand how men wouldn't like understand this analogy because i just, there's no words i just keep repeating myself, hope doesn't come across rude, ive just noticed myself over the years talking about very serious things and absolutely no man would fucking just act like a normal person and take it seriously i don't understand all women do this ive talked to my whole life why won't they just.. be tolerable honestly, i really want some guy friends but oh my god, im just scared of men at this point, it's like we can't just have normal conversation about anything

[@meganwalker27]

Avid hiker here, lots of bear encounters on the trails, I'm 10,000x more afraid of men on the trail!!!! I've been assaulted by men, never by a bear!!!

[@ElizabethGeiger-ye1sf]

The voice of experience has spoken

[@SoVidushi]

any advice for bear encounters?

[@deerwithout]

​@@SoVidushibear spray at the ready, slowly back away, don't turn and run, spray if bear doesn't back off or follows. (Check out Tooth and Claw podcast, they have great advice about animal encounters in the wild. Not about human encounters tho...)

[@dian277]

@@deerwithout 🤣"not about human encounters", i bet all they have is "be careful"

[@SoVidushi]

@@deerwithout thank you!

[@heyhey439]

Even if I legit WAS a real man-hater, big effin deal! Avoiding men is not equivalent to what men do to the women they hate.

[@jewelb9433]

💯💯💯

[@hardcandy71287]

exactly. when a woman hates men, she avoids them. when men hate women, they still come looking for us. i think some hate us because they are absolutely obsessed with us and don't like the fact that we have the option to say no to them. so instead of admitting they want us, they go to the other extreme.

[@airaburabu]

THIS

[@briana14333]

EXACTLY 💯🎯‼️

[@gertrudesmergenderge3590]

So true!!!!

[@bougiepeaches5497]

Men still don’t understand why women choose bears over men on purpose.

[@ptlovelight2971]

Exactly. Willfully ignorant

[@NidzShah-ps6kr]

I think they do. They're just playing dumb.

[@luna-p]

Ehhhh, they do. They are *that* man.

[@SummerOf1987]

@@luna-pWhen I was 20 I thought its maybe 20% of men, with 30 I thought maybe 50% and now I think its 80%. Honestly.

[@kgs2280]

@@NidzShah-ps6krThey do, but they deny it because they think they have to defend other men. It’s bro code. They can’t EVER make any man look bad.

[@alaskayoung584]

the worst thing a bear can do is to kill you. but *men...

[@Prismatic9008]

Right they'll beat you, unalive you, and then do things to your corpse once you're unalived. Truly terrifying

[@elizabethparham2553]

Right?? And at least the bear would kill me and eat me for sustenance or have killed me out of a genuine fear to protect itself, whereas who knows why or what with a man…

[@missrebel634]

Junko Furuta case, Frietzl case… If you don’t know, I advice you to look it up with caution.

[@honeyedpeaches]

And if you don’t have evidence if you survive it,you’re a lier and trying to destroy a poor man’s career.

[@alaskayoung584]

@@missrebel634 may their souls rest in peace 🙏🥺❤

[@LittleMissLanna]

As I and many others have said before about this wonderful topic: people will believe me if I say I've been attacked by a bear.

[@alwaysyouramanda]

DAMN! And they wouldn’t ask you what kind of underwear you had on.

[@nephtalie5889]

@@alwaysyouramandaor if you ate cereal out of a bra.

[@wellknown1204]

Yes 100% and you bear attack story would be talked all the time and would 100% be cautions of the bear and the area you were attack

[@pilloworwhat]

and you don't feel shame in admitting about a bear attack

[@LuckyCat5577]

YES!!! Exactly smh

[@peopleperson4284]

Proverbs 17:12 *“Let a man meet a ferocious bear robbed of her cubs, rather than the narcissistic fool in his folly.”* Someone said this in a chat the other day and I said “Wow, even the Bible says choose the bears!” 😅

[@lisn7175]

Woa

[@andromeda1903]

#thebibleisalwaysright

[@minuit6305]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@JaneDoane]

well.. 😭Amen !

[@kgs2280]

I saw that, too and was very surprised. I’m not religious, but I like it, and will use it. Thanks for the reminder.

[@zom6i]

Of course the Bear prefers to be stuck with a woman in a Forrest, because a woman has no interest in killing it and displays his corpse as a trophy.

[@Invisble748]

There are women hunters.

[@gladitsnotme]

Exactly, even if you flipped the question around, 99% of animals would also choose a woman over a man!

[@zom6i]

@@gladitsnotme do you hear about the four guys that graped a lizard?

[@cocoace7587]

​@zom6i Exactly. I heard they were " doing " domesticated animals . Dogs , goats , etc , but a lizard blew even my mind . 🥺😡 # team bear 🐻 🐻‍❄

[@zom6i]

@@cocoace7587 mankind has no limits. I remember the shity phrase a hole is a hole, I didn't think about that so much, but as a grown woman I know now what it means and the truth behind that.

[@bubullibooooo9928]

Not all present fathers are good fathers.

[@brigitte9999]

We call them, NPC fathers who are always married to Pickmeisha mothers.

[@unmothered333]

Facts. My father was present and the root of all my trauma.

[@PaperMario64]

@@unmothered333same

[@DiMagnolia]

Yup. My father was my worst ab*ser. I ended up dating and then even marrying men like him. I’m so happy to have removed all of them from my life and broken the cycle. Lots of therapy ❤ learning to trust men at all again is extremely difficult.

[@-brxken-7789]

Yup. Mine's physically present, not emotionally. We don't really have a relationship, we just exist together and he nags me about things and i try to talk to him but he ignores me🤷 there are also man ab**ive fathers etc

[@bougiepeaches5497]

At least bear wouldn’t make a podcast about female bears should be submissive and stuff.🙃

[@HustleNo]

thisssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

[@kookie_2178]

Ewwww fr. A bear would never 😂😂😂😂❤

[@acheetah6762]

bears wouldn’t put themselves on pedestals and open talk about not minding putting their hands on lady bears because they squared up to them🙄

[@Evee_gg]

Alot of these "men" saying that we're lying are probably the random man in the woods..

[@purpleflows5680]

This 💯 Any man confused at this is not to be trusted imo

[@avenginggoddess]

That ^ right there. 100%

[@spy6205]

A hit dog hollers. I find I learn more about a person when I listen closely to what they object to and how strongly, rather than what they agree with.

[@AliyahSouza-ct8rz]

Men often look for victims. My mother died when I was 15 and up to her dead NOO ONE asked me out or anything. After she passed I had boys swarming me…the worst is they even said they thoughts it’s hot that my mom is dead. My ex even admitted he wanted me cause he knew I was an easy target to manipulate. Whenever I think about this time I am absolutely disgusted!

[@tayla3934]

Wow, that’s awful to hear I’m sorry this happened

[@IrisDel-qo8xi]

This And that's exactly why they always prefer very young women and girls

[@DiMagnolia]

I’m so sorry this happened to you 😓

[@nussknacker9827]

Absolutely true. They're highly attracted to easy victims and suffering

[@Sam-nz2ko]

That’s completely disgusting. I’m sorry you went through that and hope you’re doing okay now ❤❤

[@bentiuto]

Girls, have high standards, be hard to get, be “unrealistic”, be ambitious, have rules and have many things you consider red flags! You are picking a partner for life, not toilet paper! If he isn’t loving, protective, loyal , respectful and giving he isn’t it!

[@jocelynbelle2946]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@Femalefire6912]

💗💗💗💗

[@letyv9071]

Like that is the bare minimum😭😭😭 like why is it a bad thing to want a decent man? Its because they aren’t that man

[@bentiuto]

@@letyv9071 I remember hearing somebody saying that for the first time in history men have to depend on their personality to get a wife and now they are struggling because they can’t hold money over our heads.

[@ElizabethGeiger-ye1sf]

He must be a protector, a provider, a maintainer, and a replenisher.

[@kdani4777]

Everyone tells me not to walk at night, not to take the metro, not to do this, do that WE ARE SECOND CLASS CITIZENS if public amenities are not safe enough for us to use

[@khrisi9410]

It's not safe and women who don't listen to caution will be blamed for the assault. It's not fair but it's a very real reality.

[@shanicrystal8671]

@@khrisi9410 I was offered a new job role last week but I didn’t take it due to the finish time being 10pm and having to walk through the city alone at that time. I thought to myself, if I am attacked I will be blamed for walking alone. Not worth it!

[@Biya666]

That's india for you

[@kdani4777]

@@Biya666 I’m American 🇺🇸 I feel for you Indian sister

[@chidiogoikeh4550]

@@khrisi9410 it’s not safe at daylight either

[@chloereed8792]

Lots of women are speaking from experience, I see bears often where I live and they've always been polite.

[@chiimotosuwa2148]

so unfortunate that as a Canadian I can confirm that all bears are polite but most men aren't

[@JennyferPepin]

And when you're loud enough, they are spooked and run away. Men wouldn't lol

[@uniquenewyork3325]

At least a brown bear will leave you alone if you look dead 🤷🏾

[@brittnay279]

They’re like big raccoons…they just want to go through your garbage.

[@ML-di8lt]

I live where there are black bears. Never once had a bad run in. They just stayed where they were or scurried off.

[@macipedia]

When I heard the story of Anne Boleyn’s body being taken care of by her girlies, it reminded me of the extremely sad story of how Marilyn Monroe’s body went “unaccounted for” hours after she passed. While this might be “alleged” and unlikely to be solved since it’s been 60+ years, there’s a reason why morgues prefer to hire women. It’s also why ancient Egyptians female mummies are more decomposed, because the family would hold onto the body to the point where decomp had began to prevent any sickos from desecrating the remains during mummification. I honestly want to the female revolution to happen in my lifetime.

[@videoreferenzen1549]

I believe enough men in power had women put to death just to have a go at their dead body. And when you think about all the women who didn’t have anybody to advocate for them after their violent death…well. There must have been thousands of them. Maybe hundreds of thousands throughout history. It’s a quote by Gavin de Becker: “Conjure in your mind the worst thing that a person could do to another person. Whatever you imagined, by virtue of the fact that you can imagine it, you can be certain: It has been done. It has happened.”

[@ElizabethGeiger-ye1sf]

It's happening

[@nussknacker9827]

Men still SA female mummys. . It's sickening

[@joycejoy4119]

We need more women morticians and undertakers 😅 New career to explore for women ❤

[@persephonemaeve2704]

@@joycejoy4119It’s a pretty horrible job unless you can detach from your emotions. I still have nightmares every night from working in the industry. You can’t unsee these things.

[@malindaallen718]

"You need to be more careful" tells you that, if you ever actually are assaulted, your boyfriend will blame you and excuse the man who attacked you. You will not have support from that boyfriend. Time to say "goodbye" to that non-bear boyfriend.

[@cocoace7587]

Right , like they were just living . Well trying to live THEIR lives . How could they know a man would walk up to them . This is why most of us have stopped trying to deal with men . 🙄 # exhausting # never ending 😢

[@cocoace7587]

Right , like they were just living . Well trying to live THEIR lives . How could they know a man would walk up to them . This is why most of us have stopped trying to deal with men . 🙄 # exhausting # never ending 😢

[@shanicrystal8671]

I was followed home once by a guy. I told my ex and he laughed and said it’s my fault for attracting creeps. I’m so glad I’m no longer with him. He never protected me anyway.

[@carmelcutie1991]

Did you just miss the part where she talked about that with her bf. My God chill tf out

[@Graceyoutube]

La question c'est comment un homme réagit lorsqu'il entend un autre homme disons son frère ou ami qui a été victime de viol de la part des hommes en prison ou a l'armée? Est ce que des hommes éprouvent de la compassion envers eux mêmes? De l'indignation de la colère de la rage?

[@aurora8749]

I've been followed, sexually harassed, groped, etc. probably around 100 times give or take a few in the past 22 years as a pedestrian and someone who rides public transport. I can bet that any woman who has been dependent on the bus her whole life has had the same experience. It isn't all men but it is most of them if no one else is watching. I'll never forget one particular experience where I was walking home from work at night at 27 and I passed a group of teenage boys but they were taller and physically fit and the got excited when they saw me and one of them started yelling, "Me and you are gonna f***!" He was so aggressive and his little friends were laughing and cheering him on as he started following me with his group of friends behind him and I was so scared in that moment that I was going to get gang raped by a group of kids. I literally took off running because I had a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that when he said, "Me and you are gonna f***!" That he meant whether or not I agreed. They had followed me for longer than I expected but once I took off full blown running he gave up and they were all laughing. That's how dangerous the world is for women, we have to fear being raped and murdered by literal male children. It's disgusting that society is that unsafe for women.

[@reckonerwheel5336]

Around what area are you from, if you’re comfortable mentioning it? I’ve been taking public transportation for 17 years in a couple mid-size cities in Canada - only had 2 incidents, and I’m a short weak woman. I don’t doubt you, just wondering what the huge discrepancy is. Men show their creepiness here too, but I guess not on public transportation but literally everywhere else - grocery stores, parks, parties, bars, etc.

[@aurora8749]

@@reckonerwheel5336 Phoenix, AZ. I'm also 5ft 0 and 105 pounds most of my life so...east prey there are more ppl in California than all of Canada....so that's one reason

[@reckonerwheel5336]

@@aurora8749 You know, when I think about it, maybe it’s weather. Just too cold to be doing anything on the bus except staying warm in your jacket, hat, boots and mitts lmao

[@SummerOf1987]

With all the migration and social economy stuf and blablabla here in Germany there are at least two officially reported gangraps PER DAY

[@syedarizvi7290]

I'm so so sorry this happened to you. My heart goes out to you. This is beyond scary and disgusting... I also fear the same... because in a fight, even if they are younger than you, there is so much danger and risk

[@bkminchilog1]

This topic has brought out male victims of male sexual abuse on TikTok. It’s sad that these men are ALSO BEING ATTACKED for choosing the bear. Literal men who have been victims of male assault are being harassed and victim blamed and called gay for being attacked by men. All because these men KNOW they are dangerous to everyone and are upset that people are actively avoiding them for their own safety.

[@oOIIIMIIIOo]

By doing that they show off their mindset.

[@00s.v.n.s00]

Calling a man gay for being sexually assaulted by another man is fxcking crazy. Not to mention the underlying homophobia in that sentiment. Not to mention them thinking sexuality assault a type of exemplification of someone's sexuality. Omfg.

[@fortunatecookie]

At this point I’m ready for bears to come out and say they don’t want to be alone in the woods with men

[@kookie_2178]

I saw that too. " Four bears won't hold you down taking turns " God no one deserve it. Man or women . Even men are choosing bears 🐻🐻

[@jenny2tone242]

I've noticed that when a man posts about being graped by other men, the people most likely to ridicule them are, yep you guessed it, other men. They get zero sympathy from these men. However, the women in the comments are a lot more caring and sympathetic.

[@myheart715]

Apparently, morgues would rather hire female morgue workers than male workers. Just use your critical thinking for a second and draw a conclusion from there...also there's this scene from a Bollywood movie "Gangubai" where Alia Bhatt's character orders the ladies in waiting to "tie up the legs" of a female cadaver.

[@DimaRakesah]

Omg that part in Gangubai made me feel ill! Indian cinema has made some amazing media dissecting not only the realities of sex workers but women in general under patriarchy. It really tells so much about society when you begin to look closely at the way men treat women of all walks of life.

[@luna-p]

The Corpse of Anna Fritz is an entire movie based on... that.

[@nussknacker9827]

An ancient chinese mummy was SAd by men, calling it a gynecology exam In ancient Egypt they kept female corpes at home until they were rotting Because otherwise men would SA the corpses

[@isabellaeleina]

That's so sick...

[@babyvia6712]

Yes I saw the scene and I commented “that why I would choose the bear” 😭

[@jessicanorris3614]

These 👨👨 are below the bear minimum . 😂

[@law11school11girly]

😂😂😂

[@Seraphina.Is.]

That’s hilarious lmao

[@kikijewell2967]

Poetry!

[@powerhouse2024]

My children and I hung our heads in a moment of silence and reverence for this heavenly work of comment art. 🙌

[@luckyluckylucky2261]

Too funny!

[@AnselSf1]

Two stories: (1) I am 33 and I just went to the gym for the first time six months ago. My dad LECTURED me about how seducing gym trainers are and how I should always have my guard up around them. I repeat, I am THIRTY THREE. (2) I live with my 84 y/o grandpa. My mom, sister and I used to joke about how he thought he was young and strong, because whenever I come home late, he gets down from the apartment to the sidewalk and walks me home. Just NOW I have realized that even an 84 year old male presence is safer than being a young woman on your own.

[@kalasue7]

Men* only respect other men

[@alexisalvarez9629]

My brother is seven years younger than me My mom and I were safer when we were with seven-year-old BOY than alone with just the two of us girls. We get cat calls daily when my brother is with me all they do is look.

[@lost.laurel]

He understands his presence is a deterrent even at his age. And a needed deterrent, unfortunately

[@ladyeowyn42]

Goes to show it’s men not respecting women, they respect men regardless of age.

[@NeyamStar]

​@@alexisalvarez9629 it's because they see you as owned so they don't need to put you in your place

[@mariwhya]

I'm a former park ranger that encountered plenty of men and bears in the woods and I will say this... bear, 100%. I hate to break it to you, nature couldn't give a crap about you. Most times you encounter a bear, that bear doesn't care to give you any attention. A bear isn't going to maul a person each and every time they see a person. Most times, bears won't give you the time of day. But the thing that solidifies it for me that isn't rooted in emotion but logic (as men love to point out how illogical women are...) - a bear is an animal and animal behavior is predictable. With a trained eye, you can predict the behavior of a bear to know whether they couldn't care less about you or if you need your survival instincts to kick in. Men (humans, really), are not predictable like animals. I cannot look at a man and tell you how he is going to behave next because we are incredibly complex creatures. I can't look at a man within seconds know to relax or turn on survival mode. So if these men want to play the 'logic game', let me throw it back at you - a bear's behavior is predictable. Zookeepers are trained to look for the signs and predict an animal's behavior. A man, alone with you, and in the woods where there are no other witnesses... the behavior to follow next is impossible to predict. And after being a park ranger for almost 10 years, having encountered some pretty wild things on a trail, I will always take my chances with a bear over a man.

[@morgank.6113]

Yeah I've only seen a black bear and it froze and then ambled in the opposite direction of me. Plus I've heard yelling and making yourself big helps with curious/aggressive bears makes them generally go away. Same cant be said for men interested in me out in the woods and I say this as a friendly person who talks to men very freely. I talk to them in the woods/desert hiking and most are obviously normal friendly guys but the ones that arent I'd trade for a bear in a heart beat, theres not even a particular size difference between a black bear and a man in my area so if I have to go toe to toe it doesnt matter. Also men can use ranged weapons and know what torture is...

[@tabi5550]

i refuse to be gaslit by anyone regarding my views on men*. some fathers also teach their daughters about dangerous men bc they're dangerous themselves. nothing will ever change my mind. as elle says, we are pedestrians and men are cars. we must protect ourselves to whatever extent. good men are RARE, they are the exception.

[@nanii2564]

EXACTLY my whole life my father told me how horrible men are, and how men think etc. until i grew up and realized he was the exact type of man he was warning me about my whole life

[@user-br3ty9rt1m]

Yes…they know them so well because they ARE them.

[@NeyamStar]

Mhmmm

[@katherinesavarese6009]

Here in America, there is a bounty on pregnant women who travel out of state. Men help other men capture a runaway girl or woman. A bear would never assist another bear in "hunting" its prey for fun.

[@bentiuto]

What the??? Is this actually true?

[@roxassora2706]

I'm American, this is news to me.

[@khrisi9410]

Explain. Elaborate on this bounty situation.

[@missrebel634]

Huh? Is this related to Roe V wade and the ban on abortion in some states?

[@no.6377]

​@@missrebel634ohhh that explains some things. After they tried to make an example of that young lady who had a miscarriage (not even an abortion) , I can see what OP means.

[@PhotoJeticPoet]

I'm going camping in afew weeks and one of my biggest concerns is men in nearby campsites.

[@brittnay279]

No fr…when I camp I get kind of worried about bears but I’m much more afraid of walking up to a man outside my tent.

[@UpsideDown853]

Female hiker here and same! So glad I have a dog I can take with me that “looks frightening”. Kids really don’t care about shapes and sizes but men seem to keep more distance. Especially in summer when men groups go do dumb shit in the woods I get nervous. Half of them are drunk and they’ll try to bribe my dog to come over using their grilled food. Some just like dogs, the others want to get me to stay 😢 obviously I don’t engage, haha

[@RaEy22]

And no, I'm not looking for male approval (I know you must be thinking it)

[@acheetah6762]

please be safe, if you have any friends willing to go with you, invite them! there’s safety in numbers, but if not, maybe bring a pet with you and definitely some bear mace to scare off anything. i hope your trip goes well and you are safe! 🙏

[@nah94279]

Also, Elle brought something up that I was thinking that women should start doing in the masses. Which is to stop engaging with men online, specifically in comment sections. Anytime I had ever gotten in arguments or 'discussions/debates' it was with a man. And whenever I would be like 'fine, whatever' and try to leave the convo they would try to rope me back in the conversation one way or the other. I would love to see women in masses just not giving men attention not only in person(if possible) but also online because they need to be left on their own honestly. They can argue and try to get attention from other men if they are really passionate about the topic. With that being said, I notice that I hardly ever see a man in her comment section, which I really appreciate honestly!

[@artemisia4718]

This is 100% true. Elle curates the comment section and deletes the male comments.

[@nah94279]

@@artemisia4718 and I love her for that. Like, I can go on an old video and I will hardly see any men comments on those either. I am wondering how she does it so effectively and keeps up with it. Anyway, what a queen.

[@artemisia4718]

@@nah94279 The queen is a resourceful girlie, so who knows. Maybe she has her own male-detecting bot!

[@Biogrrrl]

Yess just ignore them

[@DiMagnolia]

I agree 100%.

[@ZalekieB]

The fact that my brother was telling me the same thing, he once said "men are afraid of men for the same reason women are "😢

[@lordnokia4222]

*Homophobia lore*

[@lordnokia4222]

@@user-gu9yq5sj7c "Men being afraid of the men, for the same reason women are" Aren't always aligned fairly, as gay/queer and even black men have been historically demonized in media to be "agressors", while denying the double standard for women who go through this experience by ten fold more often by the same men who "fear" Being "liked by a man".

[@lordnokia4222]

@@user-gu9yq5sj7c KZbin doesn't like it when i reply so im gonna have to protect censor the comments partly. Queer/Gay especially black queer m*n have been historically in media inaccurately portrayed as "agressors", Straight men often come up with this " Fear" Of being hit on by another man, while rejecting the double standards that wom*n, and queer people disproportionately face, under the experience of m*n (closeted, and not). Meanwhile it is mostly these same m*n that wom*n feel unsafe about. Thus enter the *Homophobia lore*

[@AlienAteIt.MyNoraTees]

This right here. i was trying to tell a stubborn man that if he would happen to be murdered, his murder would most likely be a man. Men are dangerous to other men. but women are suppose to just suppose to tough it out.

[@RuletheWorldwithsong]

Can we talk about the men are now saying “if I had to choose between a woman or a bear in the woods, I would choose the bear because the bear won’t annoy me”. They are worried about us nagging or annoying them while we are afraid of the things worse than death that they do to us.

[@SillyLittlePookie]

Literally.

[@NeistovayaChupacabra]

No, they just trying to offend and hurt, calling us annoing

[@RuletheWorldwithsong]

@@NeistovayaChupacabra oh I know, they are feeling butthurt and think by saying that that we will also feel butthurt. It’s sad that this is what they are doing instead of reflecting and thinking about why we are choosing the bear

[@spy6205]

“Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.” - Margaret Atwood. When men say stupid things like that, just laugh at them. That’s what they’re truly afraid of at the end of the day anyway. They will never understand because they’re actively choosing not to understand and if they really wanted to learn, they would seek out the knowledge themselves.

[@josefstalin9678]

Thats pretty dumb. I'd 100% rather be stuck with a woman. Based on the way women answer the question, whoever I'm stuck with would see me, a random man in the woods, and immediately try to distance herself from me. Then I'd just be by myself which is way better than being stuck with a bear

[@goddesslivy]

It's not just the absence of fathers in the home, a lot of us had the presence of a father but we still ended up not knowing the true nature of men.

[@DimaRakesah]

Well when you've been guilted and gaslight to think men are mostly safe...

[@VideosForYou90]

@@DimaRakesah Exactly, happened to me and I fell flat on my face a few times because of that. Now I've learnt my lessons but ugh so much trauma that could've been avoided...

[@DiMagnolia]

The presence of an ab*sive father can be just as harmful

[@arsena5209]

My father is very much present but he's constantly berating my mom and treating her like she's less than him and acts like he's the most important person ever and only he matters and I've had to listen to them yell all the time at each other and argue for years. I still only learned how dangerous men can be not from him but from the internet.

[@ysko7]

Even when your father is present, loving, caring, and a genuinely good person, sometimes they are just so out of touch with the reality of misogyny in the world that they dont teach you any of this at all bc they dont even realise it is there everywhere. Bc they are good men and dont think this way about women, they think its a ridiculous idea that the majority of men does. There is many oblivious men like this, they know it exists but for them its so distant they think its the exception, or a minority. They dont realise they are the ones that are the exception. Or they just dont wanna face the reality that their daughters are gonna live this. My dad is a good guy yet I have had to explain and argue so many times with him about common sexism and what women have to endure. Its crazy to me how ignorant a lot of men are about stuff thats literally happening all the time all around them everywhere and to everyone

[@xletragedyx]

When I got pregnant, I was surprised my husband wanted a girl. He has an older brother. He's in the Army. But about 50% of his close friends are women. His favorite sibling is his "sister," his brother's ex whom he's known a fraction of the time he's known his brother. I think his whole family prefers the ex tbh... He told me he's around men all day and he doesn't want that energy at home. He tells me the things he hears at work, he doesn't respect many of his coworkers. The irony is, I think he would be a wonderful boydad bc he's so sensitive and empathetic. He doesn't believe in "boys will be boys" - he's a feminist who would raise wonderful men like himself.

[@Apricot90]

That's so interesting.. What are his 3 big zodiac signs?

[@xletragedyx]

@Apricot90 oh I don't know. His sun sign is Leo, which is hilarious bc I historically haven't gotten along with Leos.Leo's. Edit: but I know a lot of it is due to the way he was parented. He and his brother are very different (his brother is the one that comes after Leo), but their parents raised them right, for sure

[@moonriversou]

Do you have a boy or girl?

[@uniquenewyork3325]

Hoping yall have a long, secure, happy relationship and as many healthy happy kids as your heart desires

[@Mira20063]

​@@xletragedyx hey girly I am a leo too!!! Wonderful if he is in army!! Aa myself i did thought of joining army but, inflation stopped me!! Trust me he will be a leader!! Has a good moral ethics and all!! Be happy girly🤗 you got a good one!! The best thing you can do to him is small compliments and just watch him spoil the hell Outta you!

[@abvhrulz]

Men aren’t even hired for funeral homes for a reason. It’s so sick and scary.

[@user-sl1ec2mf6r]

For real?

[@darklelouchg8505]

Male morticians are the standard in the industry, Females usually run the PR side. So no, not banned by any measure in America.

[@emuhours7078]

@@user-sl1ec2mf6r some funeral homes have that policy

[@lemurlover7975]

My stepdad raped my grandma's corpse in the funeral home and when the lady who just got hired reported it to the police they told her they don't care and the boss who was male in the funeral home told her its normal and that she should get used it and just give men privacy and let men do what they want with the corpses. She said he told her it's a form of grieving. I told her it's not. It's corpse rape. I talked to her, my stepdad, my mom, and the police about it and they did not care and did nothing. I tried to convince the woman to quit her job so she wouldn't be around corpse rapists who might also rape her, but she insisted she needed the job and had to stay. The police refused to rescue my sister and me from our situation at the time, which was rape, incest and human trafficking. My grandma had been raped over 5 years at the nursing home while she had Alzheimers by many family members and had been murdered by my stepdad during one of his rapes. Nursing home staff knew and I was told they also raped my grandma. This was in Racine, Wisconsin, USA in 2007. The whole situation really messed me up and made me extremely suicidal. I disowned everyone and escaped eventually.

[@galaxyumbrella]

Last year (15 years old) I saw this white car pass by me and I got "the pit in my stomach" feeling as I saw the guy really stare at me and he then drove off, ive never listened to my gut instincts because they're always wrong, I listened this time, I called my mum and no answer, I called my dad, he picked up and just as he did I saw the car circle back around and he began to approach me with his car, saw I was on the phone and then zoomed off. I ran so fast back home crying absolutely terrified he would come back I'm so grateful my dad picked up, but ever since then ever time I see a white car I need to look at the number plate incase its him, I never wanted to feel like that and I never want to feel like that again

[@bentiuto]

That’s heartbreaking to experience, especially at such an age. I would advice you to carry something for self protection (spray or pocket knife) and to always try to take busy paths/ streets or if possible walk home with friends you can trust.

[@arc8584]

Been there several times. When that instinct kicked in, that car ALWAYS turned around. But Id already doubled back, changed course, and hid. Just to watch them slowly drive by where they last saw me. Freaking crazy.

[@hardcandy71287]

even if no one picks up, pretend you're on the phone anyway. he had no idea whether someone else was on the other line or not. or you can pretend to be facetiming someone. that's even better.

[@UpsideDown853]

You did the right thing by calling your parents and running away. Sorry this happened to you ❤️‍🩹 The ages 14-17 were the roughest, because I didn’t have the confidence yet and it’s an age certain men prey on. So never feel too shy to listen to your pit feeling. Don’t be afraid to be direct or not very polite. Learn from my mistakes, if you ever think “huh, this is far out” or “wait, didn’t he hear me to not do something?” Even “I shouldn’t be this drunk” or just have weird thoughts that’s valid. Dash it and call someone. You’ve got this!

[@DiMagnolia]

I’m so sorry this happened to you ❤ good on you for listening to your gut.

[@martinaross4042]

At least with a bear if I play dead it'll leave me alone

[@DimaRakesah]

Oh damn...

[@ElizabethGeiger-ye1sf]

Yeah...men don't care if you play dead. They'll do you anyway.

[@maggieh8255]

I know this is off topic but low key depends on the bear. In case you ever do encounter a bear in the woods, if it’s a black bear don’t play dead, get big and yell and it should run away. If you play dead it’ll try to eat you because they’re opportunistic. If it’s a grizzly though, either back away slowly or if it tries to attack play dead and cover your vital organs. It may try to bite at you for a bit, but if it thinks you’re dead it will lose interest and leave. Just so you know lol

[@tanzanitedoingstuff6942]

@@maggieh8255”if it’s black, fight back; if it’s brown, stay down; if it’s white, then goodnight”

[@RaEy22]

​@@ElizabethGeiger-ye1sfWhat?

[@prettynpetty8342]

Ya’ll even animals aren’t safe and we all know what I mean. 👀

[@meganwalker27]

Animals and women are on the same side in this...👍🏻

[@iamReptar]

Animals, children, socks, women, dolls, random things with holes…

[@Skye-xv5tk]

@@iamReptarit’s so sad that this is true

[@Aether-Beneder]

Pies. urg.

[@RaEy22]

​@@meganwalker27No, we not

[@law11school11girly]

Yes the “risk” of being around men (physical & sexual & financial & emotional risks) is so not worth their companionship because they are socialized to be less empathetic than women are.

[@UpsideDown853]

Interesting you also listed financial abuse. I’ve seen this becoming more of a topic and I’m her for it, haha. I love the words we have now to describe different influences of power.

[@redleeks6253]

They're biologically less empathetic because they arent able to produce and give life.

[@paradox9369]

But they contribute with some DNA. I hope for the good of humanity that there IS some sort of thing triggering in their brain when they become fathers.

[@Lucid-dream3]

​@@paradox9369 There is. Men with higher levels of oxytocin are better fathers than those with testosterone. I don't remember the study but there was one which showed fathers having higher Oxytocin levels than men who are like... in their 20s

[@mazhiang_dishia_]

​@@redleeks6253 this rhetoric is incredibly harmful and the reason why they justify their crimes. They're NOT biologically less emphatic or loveable or anything. They were EDUCATED to be this way. Testosterone doesn't make you less emphatic. Traditional gender roles do. Bffr.

[@Ash-tree420]

Honestly the conversation surrounding this question right now on TikTok, especially TikTok live, is showing just how unhinged and terrifying men can be.

[@honeyedpeaches]

Getting so defended by this question is honestly showing how these men hate women. The men who are crying about women in a hypothetical situation wanting to be in the woods with a bear than them shows everything we need to know about them.

[@Ash-tree420]

@@honeyedpeaches 100%. The only men bothered by this question are the ones who know they're not good people. The good ones that are actually capable of empathy understand how women feel and they understand that women still want to find partners, just not at all costs. My husband is not bothered by the question at all bc he's fully aware of how most men are and doesn't try to deny or defend men's behavior.

[@honeyedpeaches]

@@Ash-tree420 so true,women aren’t afraid of all men but we don’t have some kind of superpower to identify which men will hurt us because some fake it until the last minute,some get so far they’re a boyfriend,a husband,a father,an authority,etc. we can’t tell until it’s happening. The bear for the win.

[@SensationalSeafairy]

​@@honeyedpeachesgetting offended by the 4B movement was very interesting. One would think men at least would pretend to be happy now that women are distancing themselves with how much resentment they show us but no! How dare you not want to have sex or date or marriage?

[@Lost-mb1gj]

Yup and I’m kinda glad they’re getting exposed. They immediately start fantasizing about women getting killed or hurt as their “karma” for not picking them 🥴

[@Livingrentfreeinyomind77]

The worse thing is seeing all the women making fun of women who say ‘bear’

[@shanicrystal8671]

I’ve just seen one make a video about it poking fun basically calling us paranoid for being scared of men. Ignorance is bliss hey!

[@Livingrentfreeinyomind77]

@@shanicrystal8671 I saw one that told women they were conceited for thinking all men ‘want them’ or ‘care about them’

[@crystalsmith9038]

@@Livingrentfreeinyomind77 It’s not even about wanting, it’s like what would they do to u since ur the only ones there? Plus if ur the only girl there, they’re gonna probably do something

[@RaEy22]

​@@shanicrystal8671Yes, you are paranoid if you are scared of ALL men (It's sexist for me) And no, it's not ignorance, it's the truth

[@advent1688]

I was NEVER allowed to attend sleep overs, for the SAME reason. I’m not Asian. But I was made fun of for it…But my Mom was like ABSOLUTELY NOT

[@wellknown1204]

Your mom protects her daughter

[@Quilt4Joy]

Same

[@ReadingsWithAvantika]

Same here!! Wasn’t allowed by my mum or dad. I am Indian.

[@mayeighteen2812]

Same, but I just wished they would at least give a simple explanation “I am worried about your safety. She might be your friend, but her family members are still strangers.” So I wouldn’t grow up resentful to my parents for it… and then, throwing MYSELF to the dogs (men*) when I got older bc I was so sheltered and ignorant. 😔

[@no.6377]

Same! I'm Caribbean, not Asian. My mom was never on that 'sleep over' mess. I used to hate it, but when I got older and I heard about all the _insane_ amounts of m*lestation that happened to the girls in my own graduating class that I got it. Mama bear energy is so necessary for children's safety.😢

[@DiMagnolia]

In college I had two white male roommates. One time I was super anxious during finals so I desperately needed to go on a walk even though it was after dark (like 9 pm) so I knew it was a risk. I told them if I wasn’t back in an hour to call the cops and shared my location, they laughed. And then I had to explain this was a legitimate fear for any woman and that I had been SAed by a white male TA only six months earlier. They were shocked. After that they understood and would check up on me. I also had to teach them to lock the fcking doors every time they left the house even if I was home. It wasn’t until a neighbor toddler who ran from home broke into our house bc it was unlocked that they understood. Literally I was a RECENT survivor of SA and they refused to lock the doors, I had to check them all the time.

[@purpleflows5680]

You were brave to have male roommates. I could never.

[@DiMagnolia]

@@purpleflows5680 they were old friends and both queer, that’s the only way I was able to trust them. Even then I’m wary of all men.

[@QueTran-xf3mf]

i could never feel safe living with strange men

[@cristinaratiu4535]

​@@purpleflows5680maybe the 2 roommates were lovers

[@alter_gwii]

​@@cristinaratiu4535Makes sense.

[@jtheconqueror121]

It’s just nasty how many dudes are responding do this by saying “oh, the bear would be begging to be saved after five minutes with a woman” or making worse jokes. And when you point out that they’re acting horribly they start insulting you or deflecting it by trying to say “oh, girls abuse men too and ruined men’s lives with fake accusations.” Yeah, that’s horrible, too, but they clearly don’t actually care about men being abused until they can use it as an excuse to say nasty stuff about women.

[@kenny995]

Those men are why we chose bears

[@small_dropin_the_big_ocean995]

They say "Men are logical beings" after coming up with illogical and unrealistic scenarios based on stereotypes like bear listening to you talking for a debate point. 💁‍♀️

[@marianavase8805]

Even animals don't trust men. I have two cats, they were stray cats and the funny thing is that neither of them trust men. When my father (who is a very good man) tries to touch them or get close to them, my cats run away in fear, they are always alert around men but with women they become calmly docile, you can hug them, give them kisses, play with their whiskers. ..they just trust women.

[@catlover2223]

I’ve actually heard a lot of animals are like that. I watched a video of this family, who ran a wolf nature preserve, introducing their son to the wolves when he was young, so they would know and not fear him when he got older.

[@Lawlietoyou44]

It’s a proven fact that dogs prefer women over men and children. Children are annoying to the dogs, men’s deep voices and big frame seem threatening to the dog. Dogs feel more comfortable around woman because of the smaller frame and higher voice which is more comforting, that’s why we use baby voices to comfort our dogs And a quick Google search about ‘dog men and women study’ shows they listen to women more. And it helps most vets are also women So dog might be a man’s best friend but the feeling is not mutual I fear!

[@briana14333]

Cats are so aware! Are they female cats?

[@rainpooper7088]

I know a lady who adopted a freaking parrot who, as it turned out, felt threatened enough by the mere presence of men that it would get into position for a preventive strike. And it wasn't like a tiny budgie, it was a huge red macaw, decades old presumably, that would swoop down and peck and claw at the face of any man that entered the room. She was completely dumbfounded because the bird had never been this way with her or any of the other women she had brought over, it was literally just all men that this macaw attacked. She ended up having to give it away again because the bird's misandry adventures got out of hand.

[@Catn255]

They probably had bad run ins with men. One of my dogs was abused by a man and did not like any of them for the rest of her life.

[@mistytalley7109]

When I was young my dad told me that if men ever tried to kidnap me and tell me to get into a car do anything you can not to get taken, because even if you die right there it’s better than what would happen if you got into the car. I think that’s the essence of the man v bear convo. There are worse things than death

[@silververnallbells191]

The old tip was if you ever were pulled into a car to do what you can to crash the car. It was called "Never get taken to a second location" cuz likely you'd be r-ped AND murdered. I had that in my head since I was like 11 - female cops came to our school and talked to the girls while leaving out details, but I could tell what they meant.

[@jennab.6723]

And still, the worst part of all, is how many women will join in on the gaslighting, and say I have no reason to be wary of or avoid men. 😞 I don’t even take elevators with men.

[@Greenplanet949]

Yes!

[@nussknacker9827]

Daytime isn't safe either because more men are outside then

[@ad8447]

Yup. Candace Owens. " I am team men".

[@kdani4777]

When I would host sleepovers, my dad would leave the house and return when it was over. 😂

[@Nitra813]

Same. My mom made sure the parents knew that he would be away and that they could stay as long as they wanted or felt comfortable. Breakfast served in the morning and pick up at dawn. 😅

[@FirstnameLastnames]

My dad only ever interacted with my friends with me or my mom present, & he was *goofy* 😄 other than that, he kept to himself.

[@Aileenwasright]

My dad was very honest with me about men growing up. He didn’t preface it by saying, “but not all men” none of that crap, he just said what’s what and you can never 100% know a man’s intentions. As a result I didn’t take no shit growing up even though I had a bunch of low value men repeatedly try to bring me down and try to negotiate me about my boundaries. Never fell for it and never understood why other women fell for that crap but I think you’re onto something about them maybe not having decent men in their lives to teach them what’s what.

[@terenarosa4790]

I grew up with a single mom. I'm 30 and still waiting for marriage. Not having a dad isn't an excuse for not having boundaries.

[@Nitra813]

💯

[@a.b.2405]

@@terenarosa4790there are women who have boundaries and still have their boundaries disrespected. Sometimes people don’t learn about boundaries because they couldn’t have any as child with grown ups.

[@terenarosa4790]

@@a.b.2405 mine have been disrespected too. You don't need to tell me this. I have them though.

[@briana14333]

My sire was there, but not present in my life. He taught me exactly what to look out for by being such a shtty person.

[@sallak6483]

As someone who walks in the woods a lot and have encountered a bear twice, I do not underrestimate the danger of these creatures, but also A bear would avoid me if they had any option to do that. A bear will probably leave me alone if I dont show any kind of aggression. Of course im not super afraid of men even, but people screaming how bears are ruthless killing machines and men help us stupid women build a fire, I hate that narrative. If you go to the woods ever, you have probably been close to a bear. They make themselves literally invisible.

[@ElizabethGeiger-ye1sf]

I'm a survival instructor. I only take women out into the woods. When I took men out on survival trips, they would almost always behave foolishly. I said "no more".

[@cristinaratiu4535]

​@@ElizabethGeiger-ye1sf what did they do?

[@Lucid-dream3]

I'm interested too, what did they do?

[@ElizabethGeiger-ye1sf]

​​​​​​​​​​@@cristinaratiu4535Refuse to listen and do what they're told. I would give them instructions and they wanted to argue and tell me that I don't know how to do my job. They had big delicate egos, would try to condescend me, and refuse to respect my knowledge and expertise. I keep people alive on wilderness trips for a living. I've never lost a passenger yet. Even the crazy egotistical males were brought home safely by my skills. But they would fight me about safety measures, which direction we should go, and so forth. They are terrible at following orders. It hurts their ego to follow orders, and since they believed that I was beneath them, they would simply refuse to listen and do what I told them to do. Some examples: They would try to hide food in their packs so they could snack in the middle of the night (major wildlife attractant, in the wilderness food has to be secured properly overnight), they would try to demand that we take a different direction than the one that would lead us back to the rendezvous point. They would argue that we should press on through thunderstorms instead of sheltering in place. These are Rocky Mountain summer thunder storms, complete with high winds and lightning. The weather would go from hot to freezing cold and pouring rain in a second. Hypothermia and shock are both real dangers in those situations, and they would try to demand that we press on as a group. Of course, I told them to go ahead if they it was so important to them, and several of them pressed forward. We found them further up the trail, in need of first aid. I would hunt small game to feed the group, in order to supplement our prepackaged rations, and they would try to eat all the fresh meat. They're like poorly behaved dogs. They would try to insist that we were lost, and try to create panic in the group. It never worked, the women always backed me up. But it was a battle. They would attempt to destroy the cohesion and morale of the group and sabotage the entire excursion. Which is super dangerous for us all. It was a fun game to them. They were cocky and didn't take any of it seriously. Every time I took a male or several males out I would regret it later. So eventually I banned them permanently. It's been peaceful ever since. I take my son out, he was raised correctly and he's a very respectful young man. I taught him survival skills from a young age. Most males don't respect Mother Nature. They think that Mother Nature isn't the boss of them. My son respects Big Mama. He knows that she will delete him in a moment if he gets arrogant.

[@cristinaratiu4535]

@@ElizabethGeiger-ye1sf thank you for your answer.

[@dariasdouble212]

As someone who has hiked in the woods and mountains numerous times, I probably *have* been alone in the woods with a bear. No problems. When I come across a man in the woods, I tense up and walk briskly away.

[@readinggeorgeeliot1489]

The irony of my friend and I discussing this subject and standing around one of the many entrances to a woodsy art park. While other people were avoiding the path we were standing at a few meters in, a man had the insensitivity to walk onto the path we were having a conversation at, rendering the etiquette of others useless. Of course, that same person used the same path (passing us twice) to exit the area even though the park loops around to another exit point. So yeah, a man follows you into the woods, but the bear was already present.

[@Taemin_noskips]

I remember seeing a post about a baby girl who was about 3 or something, I’m pretty sure she had been fleeing her country and was found at a border of another country. But she was found to have the DNA of like 79 men all over her, the comments under that post were foul, the boys and men in those comments were saying “let’s get it to 80” and “game is game”. Honestly after seeing that post and those comments I have been cold with any man that’s tried to talk to me.

[@bentiuto]

At this point jail isn’t enough…

[@nefarioussagittarius8906]

I'm shaking reading that. I cannot put myself in the headspace of someone who would see that as an opportunity to degrade a child even more than she had been.

[@beatricezanoni5582]

​@@bentiutodeath

[@pinkymii072]

Well let's play a little "game" with them then. How many fingernails can they lose without screaming?

[@Genesisorgin]

right yet they have the audacity to say not all men

[@EyesOpenLegsClosed]

Shoutout to Anne Boleyn's ladies in waiting! Those are true friends.

[@Of_infinite_Faith]

Fathers will often tell their daughters to not trust or entertain men. Mine even told me to not laugh or smile at them because they may want to push your boundaries. Obviously notallmen or whatever but playing it safe and only hanging out with girls saved me alot of pain.

[@user-sl1ec2mf6r]

A good father

[@Greenplanet949]

I always wore sunglasses outside, even on cloudy days so I wouldn’t meet a man’s eyes accidentally. Making eye contact can be misconstrued as an invitation.

[@Hello-hello-hello456]

Geez what a fkin dystopia

[@marvellousmocha1386]

The overwhelming consensus is that sexual assault is worse than death. This is something people have said when given hypothetical questions like this, people have said it in mental health studies and recovery programs and to doctors. We still don’t take sexual assault seriously as a society, but anyone who has ever thought about it for a minute, let alone experienced it will tell you it feels less despicable to have someone try to end your life than to use your body for their own satisfaction and pleasure.

[@Soulou316]

By "society" you mean men. They're the only ones who choose SA over death. Btw, notice how everybody understood "men" = " SA", including men. Than they expect women to choose them, and will blame them if anything happens saying they should choose better.

[@hannahl5663]

If I were a man, I would be sad and introspective about this. But they are just offended and trying to make this into a “misandry” issue, no reflection on why this may be. Yet do they trust other men with their daughters? NO!

[@ania1418]

It reminds me of the Marina Abramovic's performance. Marina told visitors she wouldn't move for six hours and they could do whatever they wanted to her. There were 72 items available on a table on her side that could be used on her. The performance began calmly, however, at some point her performance became physical and some guy even cut off her clothes using sharp blades. By the third hour, she had endured a series of SA and later another man cut her neck. Toward the end of the performance, a fight broke out between spectators. According to reports, a loaded gun was held to Marina’s head with the male participant manipulating Marina’s own finger around the trigger. So yeah I would choose a bear...

[@BlackRaven000]

So um...she alive?

[@C12341]

Yeah, I'm under the impression that if women hadn't attended the exhibit, it would have gotten really bad. And it already was. Correct me if I'm wrong. but I remember that the women were the ones that started to intercede irt the horrific escalating behavior.

[@avenginggoddess]

That's effing horrifying.

[@crystalsmith9038]

Yeah that art thing is horrifying and so scary to even think about. But she does the same thing to children, especially other young girls with other celebrities

[@crystalsmith9038]

Crazy how Marina and other celebrities experienced this abuse for their initiation and have no problem or remorse doing this to kids or teens for money and power.

[@mizkomunikation9478]

Bear attacks are fairly rare, while men proudly claim to be solely responsible for building societies that pose an increasing threat to all life on Earth. Heck…even the _bears_ would rather be unalived by one of their own than face the indignity of some fool taking selfies with their corpse and being used as a rug.

[@briana14333]

✨This. All of this.✨ And they forget that many societies were built when women had no rights or very few. The fact that they use this as a clapback is laughable.

[@bentiuto]

Me and my colleagues were chilling outside talking about whatever when one of my female friends asked the only guy with us (who was in a relationship) if he would be comfortable with letting his girl go to a night bar alone. The dude didn’t think much before telling us that he wouldn’t because he knows what men think in these places and he would be afraid about what would happen to her without him to protect her. Really makes you think…

[@user-br3ty9rt1m]

Yeah, they definitely know how they are. Most of them just don’t wanna acknowledge that truth.

[@zannyclown]

Bruh, Daniel got thrown to the Lions for choosing his beliefs over the king. Insecure men have been causing chaos and dispair since the beginning of time... it's in the literal bible.

[@326159487d]

Also.. in Proverbs 17:12 in states: Let a person meet a bear robbed of her cubs, Rather than a fool in his foolishness. (NASB) So even the bible says it's better to meet a momma bear without cubs, aggressive AF, than a fool in his creazy mind. They know!!

[@myrrhmaidmana]

guys on this trend pretending to be smart(er than the women's responses) by missing the point is very.... lol

[@harlempixie338]

I was raised in a house with my grandfather, my father and a whole slew of uncles. They all told me most men are bad and to stay away from them. Then they told me I should get married. 🥴 To whom is my question. 😑

[@user-sl1ec2mf6r]

Sigh

[@dday3322]

Exactly!

[@slytherinlady3907]

a girl

[@RollerBaller]

Never said you gotta marry a guy

[@arsena5209]

to a woman obviously! 😂

[@samanthaash3944]

A few years ago, I was talking to my husband about women and SA. I was telling him that for men, statistically they are the most vulnerable when they are very young or very old. But for women, it stays the exact same for our entire lives. I saw an alarm go off in his eyes because he'd never even thought about it before. He's not perfect but he's learning and he's listening. And that tells me everything I need to know about him.

[@alexavasquez1992]

I'm a fatherless woman whose mom was amazing at teaching me these things. My husband loves me and treats our daughters with all the love and care they deserve and more

[@usethebrick]

As a girl who was assaulted at a sleepover... Valid.

[@user-sl1ec2mf6r]

Sorry for what happened to you 😢😢😢😢😢

[@FirstnameLastnames]

I am terribly sorry 😔

[@lemurlover7975]

Me too. The dad said to 9 year old me after kidnapping me from his daughter's room and raping me, "The sleepover is for me, not for my daughter. You ought to sleep in my bed now and not hers. That will make it so you don't turn gay. When two little girls sleep in the same bed they grow up and become lesbians." Then I started screaming and begged his wife to let me go back in his daughter's room to protect her from him and to protect myself from him. He kept on doing that every time his daughter and I had a sleepover. My mom knew and was fine with it. My teachers knew and were fine with it. They all said it would stop me from growing up and becoming gay, so it was justifiable. It was Idaho in 1991.

[@ptlovelight2971]

My own father was no angel to women: he was physically and verbally abusive to my mother and other romantic partners. He was a tyrant and ruled the house with an iron fist..... ....even he would have told me to choose the bear... This same Dad, also taught his daughters: how to shoot a gun for protection, never get in a car with a strange man, ignore catcallers on the street, and most importantly, NEVER go out with a man who cant pay for your meal/entertainment I like to believe, he raised us this way in the hopes we never encountered a man like himself....RIP Papa

[@ElizabethGeiger-ye1sf]

He should have been a better person

[@C12341]

Sorry for your loss. Sounds like he really loved you. Jordan Peterson has a video or speech called "you should be a monster" on this topic and it reminds me of that, of getting young men to recognize they're dangerous and face their shadow. I don't always agree with him but on that topic he's right. Your dad was fully aware, it sounds, of his flaws and wanted you to have a good life. I think a huge problem with men versus women issues is some men take deep offense and are hurt by the idea they could be a predator, without being willing to see they may already have some of those behaviors to work on. They're blind to it.

[@user-br3ty9rt1m]

⁠@@C12341Yes. They’d rather turn away than face the truth because it’s more convenient. Not realizing that if they took the time to work on themselves, only then might they actually be more successful in relationships.

[@eclecticd9953]

I can relate to what you wrote word for word.

[@user-xn2tk2nl1y]

Your experience is very relevant to me. My father is also incredibly strict and domineering, but as for my upbringing, he does everything so that I don't meet a man like him. Once he said that if my future boyfriend behaves the same way, just run and call him, he'll deal with it

[@ML-di8lt]

My unhinged animal choice is that I choose Canada geese over men. In fact, the geese have become so protective of me, I can use them as attack geese when men bother me.

[@CB-dy1he]

Canada geese are the worst, they have beef with everyone 😂

[@ML-di8lt]

@@CB-dy1he while I do agree, I've also made friends with all the geese in my neighborhood. So I have a protective goose Mafia

[@the-burrito-mega-blox]

@@ML-di8lt you are so awesome!

[@SaheeliRai]

​@@ML-di8lti finally found a person, who is worth to be my idol 😂

[@MsBrooklyn11232]

Bears are chill and they don’t attack humans unless if they feel that it is necessary. Bears are also solitary animals and they don’t bother you unless if you bother them first and most importantly, bears leave you alone, I can’t really say the same thing about men though. And another thing, it is pathetic to see men being jealous of a bear. They are also jealous of cats and dogs. What’s next, a Kangaroo? 😂

[@ElizabethGeiger-ye1sf]

If we said we preferred kangaroos, then they would be jealous of kangaroos.

[@DiMagnolia]

I do prefer a kangaroo lmao. I don’t think there’s any animal I don’t prefer over a man I don’t know, and even a lot of men I do know 😂

[@chansfeet2500]

Honestly, I do prefer Kangaroos, since aside from breeding season/being cornered, most would want to avoid being around humans.

[@user-wb9qh5py8m]

omggg finally someone who is educated on bears!! I keep seeing people saying bears will immediately maul you if you choose it but it simply is not true :[

[@crystalsmith9038]

@@DiMagnoliaI’m not gonna lie, I’m scared of getting punched by a kangaroo. But I’d rather get boxed by a kangaroo than punched by a guy on the subway or the street

[@shontaiacoleman2677]

I work as a subsidized daycare provider and men be like I don't want another guy changing my kid's diaper all the time when time to register children so yeah they don't trust each other

[@CB-dy1he]

The implications of that are just 🤢 I really wish I was just on another planet sometimes

[@kelsisaam4414]

You should do one on why society calls women girls instead of women. Literally infantizing grown women.

[@gaia7240]

Like when they use "panties" instead of pants or underwear

[@Aether-Beneder]

We and society need to STOP SEXUALIZING yOUR CHILDREN.

[@TragicHeroine-kd6uy]

I’d also choose a bear. A bear wouldn’t slap my ass when I was 14 and then turn around to creepily smile at me with pride while I was holding back tears. A bear wouldn’t pull his car next to me when I was 12 and wouldn’t start showing a child what he has in his pants and ask me to touch it. Every single girl I know has been SA or physically or mentally hurt by a man. They don’t care and start hurting little girls as soon as they can. My best friend was m0lested by her stepfather and her mom did nothing. She was 8-13 years old. My other friend has been m0lested her whole childhood by her own father. She moved out when she was 16 while studying full time and working 35-40 hours per week. A bear would NEVER

[@twotruckslyrics]

when i was 14, i went to a gas station with my dad and brothers to get some snacks, and while i was looking at the candy aisle alone an old man walked up to me and hit on me and, i think thats the worst ive felt

[@Lost-mb1gj]

When you look into a bear’s eyes, you can see they have a soul, they have feelings, they have personalities. They wouldn’t do it for any other reason but survival. The men I’ve run into in dangerous situations all had dead eyes….

[@pasteldad39]

Dehumanization

[@arsena5209]

dead eyes is a huge giveaway of a dangerous person. sociopaths are always referred to as having dead eyes, man or woman

[@pinkymii072]

​​@@arsena5209Although mental disorders do not equal evil. Those who haven't suffered and gain pleasure from harming us are the most dangerous. If someone was actually a sociopath they'd not feel anything. Men with dead eyes are the most dangerous. You see it in "people" like Trump or Netanyahu.

[@Misanthrope4Israel]

@@pinkymii072 its a myth that sociopaths dosent feel anything do.

[@Littlestraincloud]

Sometimes I think about that BoJack Horseman episode where it becomes a trend for women to carry guns and the US moves forward on gun control because of it.

[@SweetUareDesi]

😂😂 yes

[@Caroline_Kim_1209]

After being lightly SA’d twice, I would rather the bear because no one saved me from the man but would if it were a bear

[@dday3322]

Which means they all have these inclinations!

[@madeleineclark283]

Junko Furuta was treated worse than she would have been a bear. I will take the bear.

[@bentiuto]

I remember hearing her story for the first time and not being able to comprehend how “people” could inflict so much pain on a girl. It shook me to my core. The bear, always. Unrelated but nice profile pic!

[@heyizz]

I suggested inviting a friend of mine (a guy) I've known for years to a camping trip we have with our all girls plus one guy group. He is the polar opposite of most men* and is very reserved, not a lecher at all. Even with my assurances my other male friend I've also known for years was still highly suspicious and wanted to investigate him before letting him come. NO MEN just TRUST other men with women they are protective of. They know what their fellow men* can be like and are just lying to protect their sexual access to women.

[@vikki8699]

I am glad you covered this topic. The fact that men only get why women are choosing the bear are men who are present in their daughter's lives. I believe the men who are getting offended by women picking the bear, are feeling called out in some way.

[@FS-qk5uq]

My brother molested a 6 year old neighbor girl that I invited over for a sleep over when he was a teen He was also my abuser growing up Now he's masquerading as a family man with not only his own children but step children too and I can't warn his new wife cause my mom convinced the neighbors not to press charges, she was the only one who knew besides me before she died. I'm NC with him, so not only will his wife not likely believe me but he could sue me since I don't have any evidence. It's not always the adult man that is the danger. I don't plan on having kids (4b by chance) but I still know I would only allow a sleep over at my house.

[@crystalsmith9038]

I think u should still tell his family or his wife in case he ever tries to do anything

[@saeranchoi3343]

You could try to reach out to his wife anonymously. Even if she doesn’t believe you, it would plant a seed of doubt.

[@happychick94]

The wife is probably a pick-me girl and no use at all.... the kids teachers may be able to keep a look-out if they are warned.

[@pinkymii072]

Is he still alive?

[@Genesisorgin]

you can still warn them tell them that your mom convinced the neighbours not to press charges plus she can't sue you over that

[@Zullala]

"I've been both in a house with a man and in the woods with a bear ... Guess which time I was "graped" That hit me. I can't stop thinking about it

[@skybug1706]

we need to raise our sons JUST like we raise our daughters. i laugh in the face of anyone calling that emasculation. yes he will be given babydolls and told he's lovely, yes he will be showered in affection and love. he will also be able to do every chore in the house as soon as he can see over a counter. he will also be taught his body is sacred and if he acts with no regard for his health or safety, he will be disrespecting himself. he will also be told if he brings a baby in this world his entire life is over and he'll be shunned if he doesn't take accountability and grow up 5x as fast. he will also be made guardian of his siblings and elders. he will also do acts of service for authorities in his life such as cooking, cleaning and ironing to help his family when they've got a big meeting, a project, are graduating. he will be talked to as if he is responsible for every single choice he makes. if you're thinking "my god, you can't treat a child this way!"... _hmmm......_ you're saying that's too restrictive? they don't get a proper childhood? they feel the burden of life's demands too early and in abundance? gosh it's a good thing we don't raise kids to saddle their backs with the weight of the world as soon as they develop dexterity.......... oh wait

[@kumikor3392]

I remember I called my older brother when I was scared, but he got up and sped to get me. I'm not tolerating my bf doing anything less than that. All the guys in my life chose the bear too, and agreed that seeing a man in the woods is terrifying! There's a subgenre of horror/slasher movies proving they're untrustworthy

[@NormalWinterFox]

Girlie pop the amount of tweets I’ve seen by men being so bothered by this and the retaliation memes they made. They prove their point by those memes having women be killed by the bears. I don’t know what this world is anymore

[@3amDayDreamer]

I dealt with some many things when it came to men. I got SA, another attempted SA, groomed, stalked, and even sexual harassed by a man at my job. He sent a two guys to hurt me. Thank God I work from home now. I don’t interact with anyone from the outside world. I just go to the gym and my garden.

[@anxietycherry]

There was a discussion about this on Instagram and these guys were replying to girls saying “I hope the bear wins”, “I wish a bear would attack you” and they wonder why we don’t want to be alone with them ☠️

[@kenny995]

They'd chose wishing death on women over bring introspective and holding each other accountable.

[@uqox]

Let's get the daughters out of it. I have seen men treat their daughters *terribly*. Try this question out with a man, "Would you rather go to women's jail or men's jail, and why?"

[@gaia7240]

This is actually clever

[@alishabockwinkel8743]

Could I get an explanation please? Is the question being asked based on the strictness of each jail, the people within the jail, or to ask them why they would rather surround themselves with a certain audience? Sorry, I'm just not sure what an expected answer could be.

[@LeviAckerman-cl6iy]

@@alishabockwinkel8743The question is based on the people within it- the expected answer for most guys will probably be “The women’s” Jail not realizing that women’s jails are just as dangerous as men’s jails because being surrounded by women is a lot of guys’ fantasies or whatever.

[@darklelouchg8505]

@@LeviAckerman-cl6iy As opposed to the fact that men as a demographic, are physically stronger by a good margin and therefore would have a significant advantage in establishing a higher position within the women's prison.

[@LeviAckerman-cl6iy]

@@darklelouchg8505 That’s true too tbh some guys just try and be as shitty as possible in every situation it’s wild

[@comradeshrimp]

As a passing FTM i am HORRIFIED by the shit ive heard other guys say. Like ive heard them say such graphic and vile things that are "just jokes" for the sake of sick laughs from other men and then five minutes later get mad at a woman for saying "all men are trash"... No its not ALL men but until other humans are comfortable to be in a room around strangers (both men AND women sadly) then it is not safe to assume that "not all men are trash"

[@madioof3474]

And you know what's crazy? If men* were being asked if they would rather be in the woods with a woman or a bear, you know the first thing they would say is "the bear because it can't falsely accuse me of something". It's insane how twisted the perspectives of some men* are. They come so close to understanding the point only to dodge it at the last second.

[@levtieart3409]

I found out about Pony the orangutan and the 4 men who ganged a lizard and ate it And a guy on reddit admiting he used a squid Etc etc etc A bear wouldnt do that or eaven think about doing that

[@shelbyonehalf]

There was a guy that was caught graping a goat at Laurel RC a while back.

[@heneverforesakesme4038]

LOLOLOL. Like what kind of conversation piece is that like with other men? Can you imagine your girlfriend calling you on the phone on Monday and be like: Guuuuurl, I had a really wonderful hot weekend with donkey from Shrek...LOLOLOLOLOL.

[@clairewallace4730]

Men know men in a way that women can NEVER know men.

[@DeluluIsTheSolulu]

I'm a Canadian woman and I've seen literal wild bears walking through our yards to get to the woods. I've lived in northern foresty areas, in the Chaudieres-Appalaches mountains (the Canadian Appalachian mountains), and been SURROUNDED by wildlife of all kinds. Moose, bears, wolves, coyotes, large deer. I have never been attacked or felt threatened by a wild animal, however every single man in my life has hurt me in some way, shape, or form. Strange men have followed me, threatened me, and harrassed me. I'm picking the bear.

[@gaia7240]

It's always fun when they say "not all men" but based on how language works that means that you agree it's most men, or you wouldn't have to specify it's not all of them

[@reginageorgetownuni]

Men: Choose better, womp womp, boo hoo Women: aight, bet Men and Bumble: 😵‍💫🤯😰

[@lillierose5304]

My father passed away when I was 16. Before that, boys treated me well, not long after dad died was when men starting using and abusing me. It's true - if you don't have a dad, men think they can treat you how ever they want.

[@grandsome1]

The same guys who mock women for choosing a bear shut up real quick if you throw them a prison shower hypothetical where they're the weaker party.

[@KP71810]

Newly single after a long term relationship and I am so excited to just worry about my damn self!

[@SummerOf1987]

🎉 enjoy, its great! 🎉