Every Bear and Its Chances of Retiring You From Life

[@negan4017]

"A trauma bear with chimpamzee tendencies" has got to be the scariest way to describe a sloth bear. Atleast a polar bear will finish me off

[@prodigalpriest]

Polar bears tend to eat their prey while it's still alive. Grizzlies too.

[@Deathadder90]

​@@prodigalpriestWho can blame em. Food that stays warm for longer is always preferable!

[@gigachad6885]

​@@Deathadder90wow, it makes sense too

[@DinnerForkTongue]

@@Deathadder90 And easier to chew on, especially when your bite force is the worst of the family.

[@Schoobyy]

🤨

[@SoySouce870]

0:17 im less concerned with the bears than the people who think they could tank an elephant

[@MadSwedishGamer]

I can kind of see how an overconfident, misguided idiot could think they stand a chance against a bear... but how do you even plan to hurt an elephant, let alone win against it?

[@frostbitetheannunakiiceind6574]

facts

[@jamesredmond7001]

​@@MadSwedishGamer "It's got no weapons, what's it going to do, sit on me?" "...Stand on you, but yes."

[@theperfectbotsteve4916]

the elephant could just stand there and take it and you couldn't beat in a fight probably couldn’t even move it like trying to box a brick wall

[@Unknownusername1004]

​@@jamesredmond7001 or even if it charged you and ran into you it'd be like getting hit by a car

[@Zigzorark]

“If so dangerous, why so friend shaped?”

[@bombomos]

Cuz it's a trap

[@Lady_Crispr]

@@bombomoswe love a trap.

[@KratosisGod]

It's natural bait😂

[@A_Shrubbery1901]

the eternal question

[@ShiftersMidnightsun]

To quote a famous fairy tale , the easier to eat you

[@amazinga7794]

Good news, the sloth bear is no longer used for shows in india, the last dancing sloth bear was freed in 2009.

[@genericname2747]

:)

[@DaCostaRica48]

thats actually amazing news

[@_sandy_]

strong W

[@ccdsds3221]

False, I litterally saw one in 2015...

[@genericname2747]

@@ccdsds3221 source

[@CreakingJordans]

52%----cocaine motivated 33%----offensive attacks 18%----Food

[@stephenflint3640]

I just got to the part you referenced; you right. Honestly, if you're trying to press a bear of ANY size, you're either bold and stupid, or just stupid.

[@DominickMoerike-df8ln]

I'm here.I just want to get famous.Which is why I wait for any of youtuber to post something lol I also love your videos casual geographic

[@lituation6928]

And it's my birthday too bro happy birthday man love ur content

[@markzuckergecko621]

Are we talking about bears, or my ex girlfriend?

[@Random-Captain]

😂😂😂 free pizza regardless

[@HellishSpoon]

the 17% that think they can handle a chimpanzees clearly never seen the poor woman missing her face

[@lightingthelatenight9942]

And the rest of her that got fucked up lol it was a macabre confetti-esque scene of tissue and appendages as I understand

[@marce4241]

they've never seen one without hair / or watched a joe rogan podcast

[@darcieclements4880]

​​@@marce4241I'd even guess that they've only seen baby chimps since adults aren't used in media for obvious reasons! The few that do have enough emotional control when raised by humans to not be incredibly dangerous as adults, are often never seen by the general public because they need to be protected from idiots and may not be suited to living with other chimps anymore. And honestly I think you might be able to count the number of known cases of that occurring on one hand. And even then I think all of those ended up being bonobos, but even bonobos struggle with emotional regulation and can do an outlash squat that ends a person instantly. Humans lost some of our muscle capacity so our muscles can look like they're strong but are never as strong as the same amount of muscle on other primates. We are comparatively fragile. I wouldn't wish an aggressive encounter with an old world primate on anyone, not even a small macaque. They will own you. I suppose some of the long-tailed monkeys that get eaten by the other old world primates and the lemurs would be manageable but that's about it. Oh and even if a chimp has good emotional regulation you can never assume that they will the next day unfortunately.

[@bjm121100]

Or the man missing his jewels

[@dreammaker9642]

And she got off easy 😂 let’s just say they do worse to dudes so my comment doesn’t get deleted for being graphic 😂 that being said the 8% that think they can handle a gorilla are straight up crackheads cause that’s not happening either but you will be less punished for your foolishness cause unlike chimps gorillas have mercy

[@MadSwedishGamer]

A good indicator of how dangerous polar bears are is that people on Svalbard (one of the few places on Earth where both humans and polar bears live) are required by law to own a large caliber gun and they must carry it with them if they go outside the city.

[@JoaoVictor-rg5ix]

Damm. Everyone must be strapped by Law. 😮

[@LordVulcan93]

I believe it's one of the few animals on the planet that will hunt a human.

[@chazo1367]

@@LordVulcan93 yeah they are. Humans are seen as food by the things, it’s rare for animals to see humans as a food source…

[@CrabKFP]

I was just going to comment on that, that in an island it is required BY LAW that you should carry a rifle

[@benschultz1784]

It's also why the Greenland Patrol unit of the Danish Army still carries around WWI-era rifles.

[@Kobold_Green]

Pandas really said "if you mistake kindness for frailty of heart, then perhaps a more physical lesson is in order"

[@eliasmg9144]

Po really deserves to be the dragon warrior

[@Topazzzzzz]

the funniest thing about the andean bear "escape" in the berlin zoo was that mothers were screeching about "what could have happened" to which the director replied that the bear is really more into vegetables and that he was more concerned that some of the fathers at the scene were too busy filming to check on their kids

[@rainpooper7088]

If I was that bear I would have chosen the getaway bike too.

[@gbdornls]

@@rainpooper7088 My man was trying to secure a vehicle to go back to his home.

[@genericname2747]

It's good none of them hurt the bear, but also... They didn't even try to scare it away from the kids?

[@electroeel148]

@@genericname2747 You don't want a 800 pound wall of fat, muscle, claws, and teeth to get scared. If their survival instincts are triggered, everyone's getting boxed

[@genericname2747]

@@electroeel148 Fair.

[@mokko759]

Before the video started, I knew the polar bear was MERK level 10. Most bears want nothing to do with humans. Polars want EVERYTHING to do with us.

[@Toasterslol]

On svalbard there was a bear named frost, she wouldnt harm anyone and would go into cabins that she thought didnt have any people in it to eat the food in there. She wasnt a problem but her cubs were, because she was smart enough to avoid and not attack humans, her cubs didnt give a fuck so they would break into cabins and kill/harm people. But since most people either carry a .44 magnum or a 308 or a 30-06 rifle the cubs would die most of the time. Anyways she died this year if i remember it was because she got anesthesia and then drowned, you should search it up

[@KainaX122]

When you live in an environment where food is scarce, anything you can get your teeth around IS food

[@purpleness64]

MERK level!! 😮😮😮😮

[@Alleyprowler]

We're crunchy AND chewy!

[@ElFreakinCid]

Canadian viewer who can verify here. In Churchill, Manitoba, it's even become expected of you to leave your car doors unlocked specifically because of the likelihood of polar bears wandering into town--people might need to duck into the nearest vehicle to avoid being attacked.

[@kristalynwhitmire]

All I know about bears, is that if it's white, you bouta be seeing the white of the pearly gates.

[@isabrom5295]

Panda fur is white and their skin looks peachy underneath most of the fur (like the skin of white people) and polar bear fur is translucent and the skin of them is black.

[@cawingcrows2072]

​@@isabrom5295woah really?

[@MarshalMarrs-eu9yh]

A better way to survive an encounter with a polar bear in the wild is to distract them.

[@HorizonOfTheEra]

@@isabrom5295 Yup, something about heat conservation.

[@lkeke35]

@@MarshalMarrs-eu9yh Um no, a better way to survive an encounter is to never have one. I'm in Ohio. I'm doing alright!

[@alexsolomon7991]

Fun thing about polar bears is they're also quite patient hunters. They see you as a meal, they have no problem with tracking you for dozens of miles and Waiting for you to slow down and get tired so they can amble on in and devour you. Fortunately for most people they still have problems with doors.

[@eliasmg9144]

The day a polar bear learns to open doors is the day the arctic should be considered inhospitable

[@Terrified_Dartanyan]

I think nobody doubted that after looking at the grizzly chasing the caribou from like half a kilometer away. Polar Bears are just brown bears on drugs when it comes to food

[@Bruh-jr2ep]

@@eliasmg9144 If polar bears ever find this video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jaDJYauGitKKaZosi=RCLQScVUsIZYiJML then we are truly f'd.

[@D9fjg]

​@@eliasmg9144unless them people start learning how to use a gun and start shooting once a polar bear gets at least 500 meters close to a settlement then yeah

[@Zyk0th]

@@D9fjg Polar bears are so critically endangered it's illegal to kill them without proper authorization, unless it's a matter of life or death.

[@Gernok42]

Forget the 6% that think they can wrestle a grizzly; I wanna know how the 8%, that say they can fight an elephant unarmed, think they could actaully get a swing in?!

[@azentra7560]

My thoughts exactly! My guess would be that since unlike grizzlies, since they're not native to North America, people underestimate how truly big and impossible to even inconvenience a full grown elephant is for an unarmed human

[@isabrom5295]

The skin is thick... maybe they want to crawl through the back door to reach softer spots but how you get up there is a hole nother question.

[@azentra7560]

@@isabrom5295 I'm honestly fairly sure the tail can smack you harder than most humans could

[@joanneblack7697]

Sadly, a tourist got killed recently while trying to get pics of elephants. They trampled him to death. 🤷‍♀️

[@WrottJackson]

That trunk will send you flying before you even smell the Elephant’s peanut breath.

[@Nocomment552]

Fun Fact: Grizzly Bear mothers in Yellowstone have actually used the close proximity of tourists as a deterrent to boars (males) to keep them from unaliving their cubs.

[@MrDibara]

Smart and adaptable. Impressive... 😕

[@hotbread1004]

yes! which is so interesting because not only do they recognize we dont want their cubs but they also learned to use us to their advantage JUST from their own experiences(ie not us feeding them etc)

[@Blackandwhitecat-to5ll]

I can imagine the Boars are annoyed they can't get their food with tourists nearby.

[@uhmwhat158]

Bears choose man over bear lmao

[@andynichols5625]

Mom bear :You don’t have to outrun the male bear kids, just outrun one of the tourist.

[@RAGEAlanBun]

00:14 You’ve got the overconfident people picking a bear but you’ve got to love that 28% of people are just say “yeah man, a rat would probably fuck me up bro”

[@thezackast2752]

28% of people have seen a new york sewer rat it seems

[@static7985]

@@thezackast2752 bro just kick it lol

[@Sealionborn]

I assume they count the rat running away as a draw.

[@luckytia9076]

I mean... just wear some leather boots and you are good

[@murphyrecords16]

I saw a pic of this guy holding a humongous rat I think it was in UK they were having hella problems. that was the day I started being a bit less comfortable with the idea of rats.

[@CheeseBlaster]

Shoutout to the two 8% that think they can throw hands with a gorilla and an elephant. You know, just the two of the strongest land creatures on the planet, no biggie

[@gamingrex2930]

Nah I’d win.

[@aveteranweeb4188]

​@@gamingrex2930Nah I'd die.

[@MrSamulai]

I mean it didn't specify a fistfight.

[@korsekil]

@@MrSamulai It says "unarmed" in the survey.

[@MrSamulai]

​@@korsekil But nothing about traps and prep time.

[@fromolwyoming]

That poor bicycle. That spectacled bear was too ruthless on it.

[@benrex7775]

Just before that clip I got an razor add where it stated: _"What if your shower scene turns into a horror scene?"_ I laughed so hard because the timing was perfect. And then the contrast to the bicycle was the cherry on the cake.

[@ANightattheOpera28]

I saw the bike and half expected the bear to try to hop on it.

[@dademonio7476]

It traumatized me (I was the fence)

[@silomenezes2935]

I'm concerned by the number of people who think they can take a f*cking Elephant while unarmed

[@kitsunekage12]

Right? Like I'm guessing they must think 'oh it's huge I'll go punch it in the balls' or something without realizing that one those are internal on an elephant, and two the elephant can and will literally chokeslam them with his prehensile dick. Like there is *no* weak point I can think to exploit on an elephant without a serious weapon.

[@lyravain6304]

Well, it's possible to win by ring-out. Mostly because the elephant will not even realize the puny hairless ape is attacking and just... walk away.

[@maryjane4432]

@@lyravain6304or just run and hide and hope they don’t see you

[@andersjjensen]

@@lyravain6304 Elephants are absurdly smart and understand the intentions of many many species, friendly and hostile. If you start pressing it with an elephant, especially a male elephant, you're going to get the 101 in elephant communication on the spot. If you fail the exam at the end of the lesson you'll get elephant foreign policy 101 as a bonus.

[@lyravain6304]

@@andersjjensen Yeah, but elephants are smart enough to also understand that the naked hairless ape might have just gone crazy from the heat or something. Not saying you'd HURT the elephant. Saying the elephant might find the attack so funny they just walk away. Because the best a human might hope to do is punch the elephant in the trunk or junk. At which point, the human's becoming a pancake. And lawd have mercy on you if it's a bull in mating season.

[@konstantinriumin2657]

I love that 22% of people think they can't defeat a rat in the fight.

[@rac1equalsbestgame853]

Then the 6% that think they couls beat an *ELEPHANT* in a fight

[@marmyeater]

@@rac1equalsbestgame853 That's an 8, 2 percent MORE than the 6% that think they could beat a bear.

[@rac1equalsbestgame853]

@@marmyeater I keep mixing up the percentages but yikes... with bears I can see how someone could come to that conclusion, but an _elephant_ Even a female elephant can turn a human into a fleshy pancake with a simple step 💀

[@MogamiKyoko13]

The 22% are D&D players who have been overconfident in their abilities one too many times.

[@faries4794]

lol! To be fair, they might have phobia. I'm not scared of rats but I have extrem fear of roaches! So I know I would lose miserably if I had to fight a cockroach! 😂

[@Artistwithpurplehair]

The thing that scared me most was that black bear peeling the skin off that salmon like a banana.

[@DieFlabbergast]

So, you're terrified of fishmongers?

[@emempeacenwogwugwu7068]

@@DieFlabbergast😂😂

[@q-miiproductions878]

Isn’t that a brown? That looks like a grizzly face.

[@kevinprehm]

Always remember: Most animals will at least give you the courtesy of death before eating you, but bears are not on that list: In the words of Alan Grant, "You are alive when they start to eat you"

[@mrvwbug4423]

Same with Hyenas, except the entire pack is going to treat you like a living buffet line at the same time. Wolves also kill smaller prey the same way, but it's hard to get actual evidence of wolves eating live humans, it's assumed most cases where wolves dined on human are cases where the person was already past tense and the wolves were just scavenging.

[@Exquailibur]

@@mrvwbug4423 considering how much generational trauma wolves have relating to people it is basically impossible to find examples of them eating people, their inbred cousins the domestic dog is more likely to eat people.

[@taddad2641]

@@mrvwbug4423 be fair the smalley prey is dead in seconds in that regard. Bears are powerful but few of them are efficient in killing, save for the polar bear. They re jut so fuckign strong they can get away with it. Hyenas and wild dogs though, their motivations is competition. faster they eat the less likely something rolls in to take the meal.

[@Jane-oz7pp]

Actually, no, most predators will not kill you first, only incapacitate you. It's basically cats alone that kill first, eat second.

[@Jane-oz7pp]

​@@taddad2641 redacted in seconds doesn't mean they weren't being eaten alive homie

[@generalcodsworth4417]

It's dumb that so many platforms are overcensoring words, but it's always funny when a creator works around it creatively and with a wide range of terms instead of the standard unaliving

[@Jikkuryuu]

There's a forum with an autocensor, and I swear my experience reading a LP on there was elevated by "gently caress" replacing all the f-bombs. It just worked somehow.

[@darthzaida1881]

W casual geographic I feel like it goes past mere censorship. He is a poet, an orator, a speaker who could turn an army back with persuasive words alone. He just so happens to be on KZbin instead of advising a god king

[@intergalacticspacewizard1966]

It's dumb but also makes you question why the censor is there in the first place if you can just change out the word but retain the meaning

[@augustaseptemberova5664]

@@intergalacticspacewizard1966 i've wondered this since i was a little kid, when ppl would go from "oh hell" to "oh heck" around us kids, and replace other words like that, e.g. "butthole". and i was like .. what's the point? i know you're using a curse/insult rn, you know you're using a curse/insult rn, can't we just drop the pretence? lol

[@bj.bruner]

Yes. CG is the only creator that does it well; everyone else is too lazy and uses "unalive" which shouldn't be a word at all

[@gravestone4840]

You forgot to mention that Grizzlies and Polar Bears are breeding together now since the sea ice is melting. Pizzly Bears are golden and basically look like a Super Saiyan bear. The size and predatory instincts of a Polar Bear with the adaptability and climbing skills of Brown Bears and no need to live in cold climates. Good job humanity, your activities have created an Apex Apex predator.

[@derrickmcdowell8824]

Imagine being out in the wild and hearing... HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and feeling a power level rise. If they learn instant transmission it's over for us.

[@incognitovagabond4763]

Been happening for awhile now Grolar/Pizzly bears are pretty cool though name based on fur color or parentage line I wonder which will be the dominant 😱

[@klondikechris]

I live in Yukon, and I've been trying to find out what the characteristics of those bears are. I've asked natives, locals, and even animal scientists, and no one knows!

[@theofficialliedetector1545]

@@klondikechris I've heard they take after Polar Bears

[@seadav0183]

They're also apparently hyper-aggressive

[@ladykay6823]

In fairness, if I were constantly living in the same desolate conditions as a polar bear, I’d probably Assassin’s Creed a Beluga whale, too.

[@hgaillard1623]

I taught Primary school in Appalachia. One time a mama Black bear and 2 cubs got into the playground, so we went on a soft lockdown. I swear it looked like mama was just drinking her coffee and filing her nails while the kids played and gave her some peace. One cub found the swings and laid on one and pushed himself back and forth. The other one found the slide and had a blast going down it. Eventually Fish and Wildlife showed up, darted them, and took them higher up into the mountains. Lesson plan for the day? No idea, but we learned a lot about Black Bears and Fish and Wildlife

[@KitagumaIgen]

The "Modified Lesson Plan": Nature studies, Common Sense in Nature, Survival Philosophy in Nature?

[@alanahnatalie8167]

This is adorable

[@Saffron-sugar]

They must’ve been so confused what they woke up in another neighbourhood

[@NobodyLikesThePlasticBear]

Black bears are actually super chill! I’m spending the week at a research center in Minnesota dedicated to them currently, and they’ve been nothing but docile towards humans (other than a playful swat to my backside from one of the juveniles, who was looking for attention). Diversionary feeding practices do actually help keep them out of populated areas if done correctly, though.

[@idigamstudios7463]

@@NobodyLikesThePlasticBear Mind sending me the name? I live in the land-o-lakes and been looking for places like that to check out.

[@melskunk]

When I found out a polar bear finds a house a SUGGESTION and will open up drywall like a rotten log, that was it for me

[@bee_wannabe]

It's a drywall, can't expect much. Even people break it easily.

[@kairikasai]

I was looking into moving to Alaska until I realized this. Even with a Grizzly bear, my old client refused to leave his house for a week because one killed an elk and just sat on his front porch for days

[@icecoldrugby]

​@@kairikasaimost of Alaska doesn't have a high population of grizzly bears. What part were you looking? I live in Talkeetna where sightings are rare and of transient bears.

[@chaotixthefox]

Brother it's dry wall. You can punch through drywall

[@kairikasai]

@@icecoldrugby I was looking anywhere in Alaska. My old client bought a house in the country in North Dakota when he ended up seeing the bear. It was his first week.

[@ANightattheOpera28]

For those that don't know, the "if you know you know" couple was Timothy Treadwell and his girlfriend. Tim thought he could basically bond with wild bears and took his gf with him to set up camp in bear country. Take a wild guess what happened next. He genuinely loved bears, but bro had the kind of hubris that would make Icarus blush.

[@whiteraven181]

That alone wasn't the problem- the real problem was a drought that left the mother bear in the area so desperate she was willing to kill her own cub to survive. Whether recognition of danger or some weird affection, the mother bear who did it had tolerated Treadwell hanging around in her territory before. The mistake wasn't hubris, it was lack of caution. After the cub was killed, the recordings recovered made it pretty clear that Treadwell knew he and his girlfriend were probably her next meals. He just didn't have any sort of emergency beacon to get picked up before his trip was scheduled to be over, so even when he knew it was coming there was no escape.

[@dyhhffjuojg4sd]

LMAO...

[@sECUREij]

The worst part is the two bears that killed Treadwell (who clearly didn’t do that) where bears he knew were dangerous. In his recovered writings after the attack he named them Demon and Machine. Then to top it all off the Timothy causes something like a dozen bears to get killed. Obviously Demon and Machine. But the bears he spent the most time around were acclimatized to humans and started approaching humans.

[@sECUREij]

@@whiteraven181I think people were also downplay Treadwells fame seeking behaviour. The man wanted to be a tv star. Then as he began bringing back those tapes of him being super close to bears, he started getting invited on talk shows. Then the stupider and stupider stuff began happening. The stuff like getting in the water or approaching Cubs. Those started after he got face as the “Grizzly man” heck the stopping of taking a gun or even bear spray was in the second half of his filming. How he lasted 13 years is beyond me.

[@ANightattheOpera28]

@@sECUREij Yup. The bears just went bear and they paid for it.

[@emmetthowell899]

I need the confidence of everyone who chose farther down than “large dog” on the list. Love that most people decide anything bigger than a rat could beat them. I think I could take a rat, house cat, or medium sized dog.

[@captain_clark868]

I think your take is the most reasonable. Medium dog, maybe, anything bigger, you have a surprisingly low chance. Humans are weak without tools, OP with even a sharpened stick.

[@Saga_Anserum]

they must not've read the bit that said unarmed

[@theviniso]

​@@Saga_Anserum Hell, even if I had a gun I still wouldn't take my chances with a large dog, let alone anything bigger.

[@user-hr2zy7ct8h]

Our ancestors got into fights with bears much larger than polars, had their ships attacked by literal kraken monsters, hunted mammoths. But I agree unless you're trained in unarmed combat and hunting a large dog will cause problems when you're unarmed.

[@emmetthowell899]

@@user-hr2zy7ct8h humans can take down surprising things if they have a pointy stick, it provides reach and a way to inflict damage. Unarmed, humans can’t deal much damage especially without training. We don’t have sharp teeth and claws to do damage so you would have to just overpower something which is hard when that something can rip you apart with claws/teeth. Humans are so OP and fragile af at the same time based on if we have just our own flesh sacks to rely on or we have human technology.

[@peterallen5575]

It's also important to remember that bear spray is meant to be used ON THE BEAR. I remember a story I read about a family that had to get medevaced out of Yellowstone with second degree chemical burns because Dad thought it worked like mosquito repellent and sprayed his entire family with the stuff prophylactically. In his defense, though, they didn't get attacked by any bears while they were there.

[@adhdhamster]

😳😂 bruh. I mean I guess he wasn't wrong.... But damn 😂

[@zackzittel7683]

That’s hilarious….. english had to have been a second language.

[@mikeljackson9192]

@@zackzittel7683do they only make bear spray in English?

[@CaesarShadowKnight]

@@mikeljackson9192bears can read every language except English

[@dracula7328]

Bear's first language is Russian

[@Amarianee]

Fun fact: Yes, pandas do have an immense bite force, but because they exclusively eat bamboo, and it has very little nutrition, they're metabolism is pretty slow - which is why if you've pissed them off enough for them to exert the effort to attack you, you definitely deserved it. Pandas can easily delete you, but you have to given them a reason to do it.

[@Jwsponky]

Reminds me of a quote I'd read about an Old West doctor saying that "A victim bit by a Gila monster should just be left to expire... as the Gila monster is perhaps the laziest creature in all god's creation, and any fool bit would almost have to put their hands in the lizard's jaws themself."

[@ElizabethMcDermott-cy4cv]

I'm likely a panda. And the rest of the low nutrition complicated west.

[@beastmaster0934]

Ironically, the bear with the weakest bite force is the polar bear. Because you don’t need to have a strong bite force to eat the blubber of seals, walruses, and cetaceans.

[@punishedwhispers1218]

Their bodies are also capable of eating meat, they just choose not to

[@genericname2747]

​@@punishedwhispers1218 They're SUPPOSED to eat meat. They're considered carnivores. But pandas just really love that tall, tasteless plant

[@occamsrazorblades]

"If I have one shot in the chamber, I'm going to use it to self medicate my exit off the mortal coil." Laughed myself into a coughing fit. He is a genius!

[@roxannemulvey8158]

💯 agreed

[@engmed4400]

I just got home from 2.5 weeks spent in Minnesota on a National Guard sponsored "camping trip". Once we got into the field, it didn't take long for the local black bears to discover we existed, and it wasn't long after that they started pilfering. One bear got brave enough to get into the back of a truck, steal an MRE, and take off with it. Another broke into someone's tent, and took off with their meds. They just started getting everywhere, and into everything. The big surprise is that there were no injuries. Someone even managed to get a good picture of a bear climbing the ladder up into a 5-ton. It ran off immediately after, once it realized there was a human in the truck.

[@bgoldschmidt2583]

I know someone who survived a polar bear (the bear just snorted and peace out), and they're just as confused as us. And minorly insulted that the bear didn't see them as good enough to eat.

[@flyingstonemon3564]

I'd rather be offended than honored then haha

[@genericname2747]

Bro just smells bad I guess. Seriously though, the bear probably wasn't hungry

[@DarthSidian]

He probably shat himself something fierce in order to get that bear off of him LMAO I respect it though, survival is survival

[@bobtheball5384]

​@@DarthSidian I'm not gonna cap this gave me a good laugh

[@Taospark]

It's the annoying wrapper.

[@DAsrada]

My friend was camping and got a visit from a black bear and her cubs. No bite marks, but he showed me the scars from the bears climbing around on his sleeping bag - including Mama Bear sitting on him. I admit I teased him due to how he doesnt shave often that she mistook him for another cub.

[@ewill3435]

Jfc! Your friend got lucky! Did he just lay still and pretend to be dead or was the mama bear aware he was there? I've never camped in an area where bears could be a possibility, and tbh, I think if I was in your friend's situation, I would probably have a heart attack there on the spot!

[@DAsrada]

@@ewill3435 He just laid still and let them be. The cubs were apparently absurdly cute, but their play scarred him up because well, bear claws.

[@ewill3435]

@@DAsrada that sounds both incredibly adorable, and pants browningly terrifying

[@BreandanOCiarrai]

we have a momma bear at the hospital I work at who's cubs keep coming into the ambulance bay in the ED and playing around in there, especially with their favorite toy- a traffic cone. Adorable, but guess who gets tapped to go shoo them off when we have a patient coming in? Yep. Same with the bloody porcupines that keep trying to get into the ED through the automatic doors. This shyte was not in my job description 🤣

[@hackcubit9663]

It's a comfort to know that most bears will leave me the hell alone if I've announced myself way before stumbling into it.

[@Kartoffelkamm]

In Japan, and I think other places also, there are bear bells, which are pretty much just small bells that you carry around so the bears can hear you coming and go around you.

[@tranquoccuong890-its-orge]

this is kinda like how car horn & bike bell are supposed to be used: when you go around tight corners & crossroads but see no traffic, you still need to announce your presence - lest an unsuspecting car zip through and flatline your car

[@genericname2747]

I like the use of "most"

[@therealrakuster]

@@Kartoffelkamm Yep, when I backpacked in Alaska the rangers told us to keep making noise so the bears could hear us coming and go around us and keep our food in barrels that we put a little ways off our camp so they wouldn't go to our tents to get the food.

[@saacattaac007]

Bears are fine so long as you RSVP

[@taika.melissa2798]

I'm from Finland. We have large forests and quite a lot of brown bears. I've been told that bears avoid people except if you accidentally end up between a mother and her cub. The mother will attack and try to kill you.

[@Jadacarebear]

I live in Florida, US and we have black bears. They're so cute❤❤❤they walk on their hind legs sometimes.

[@mordecaimonarch8209]

My dad used to be in the forest service, he said that it was uncanny how much a bear’s anatomy resembled human anatomy.

[@FancyPantaloons]

New theory: We evolved from bears

[@frakismaximus3052]

Lol wut

[@WrottJackson]

Fun fact: you win a fight against a bear the same way you win a fight against a human. You kick it in the balls.

[@i_basl]

@WrottJackson or you shoot it, but like with humans, this should be the in case of emergency

[@cintaminbunny]

​@@WrottJackson what if its a woman

[@joanderson6880]

Sloth bears are absolutely terrifying, I cannot believe people try to keep them as freaking tourist attractions. Happy birthday, dude!

[@LordVulcan93]

Bud, people are still trying to put a Great White into captivity. Nothing surprised me in this world.

[@eranodelpum9752]

As a rimworld player, i can comfirm

[@averycheesypotato]

Because hurting and humiliating a normally impressive creature, entertains small minds.

[@zopler5537]

⁠@@averycheesypotatoain’t that a sad truth. One of the reasons as well that i was never a fan of circus acts using animals since they’re not just humiliated but severely abused.

[@mndiaye_97]

Can't put anything past anyone these days. And thank you!

[@electroeel148]

It was last month that I, Alaskan Native, had to watch the couple hundred fish that I helped catch with my father while he went to get some equipment. I decided to lie down and close my eyes for a minute as I was out on the river for hours at that point. I was down for a good minute before I heard a voice in my head say "Sit up. Right NOW." I did and not even twenty feet from me was a Kodiak GRIZZLY mother with her three cubs around her. I have never been so thankful that the bears were not hungry enough to just kill me to get the fish as she and her young were surprised enough by me popping up out of my spot that they went the other way.

[@stefhonsmith6547]

Holy sh*t!!!

[@MrDibara]

YOU SIR dodged a missile, Holy fuck! 🤯

[@clark2491]

That voice u heard was GOD.

[@blazenfate]

The mother must have smelled the sht in your pants and decided not to let her kids get near you.

[@gigachad6885]

I'm curious, how did the voice sound ? Are you religious ? If not, are you now ?

[@isaT]

That little polar bear cub in the thumbnail though, so cute and harmless looking that my dumb a$$ nearly missed the mother in the background ☠️😂

[@gnarledcox]

As a kid, I went to a wildlife sanctuary this dude and his family ran and while they focused on wolves, he actually did end up with a grizzly bear. Apparently someone bought it at a flea market and was told it was a dog, and that quickly proved to be a lie, so suddenly he has this growing male bear on his hands. Let me tell you, this bear was a CHARMER. He made noises until the guy walked into the enclosure, then immediately stood up on his hind legs, waiting for a hug. Of course he got one, and then we learned that his favorite thing in the world was girl scout cookies! Such a giant animal, but so friendly with his needs met and lots of interaction

[@adrianschick7300]

reminds me of the time I got to feed browns bears honey as a kid, there's a bear sancuary in hungary the young kids often take school trips too, they give you long wooden spoons and if you brought honey you can feed it to them

[@striker8961]

They get used to humans and see them as a source of food when they are well behaved. Some people see that as them still secretly being monsters and not actually caring, to them I say, you can pass a calf and saw awww and then go home and eat a burger. Most animals, humans included, are capable of some relatability with other creatures, but there is always that disconnect. Makes me worried if we ever find aliens.

[@honeybelle1203]

where the hell do you live where a wildlife sanctuary owner gets away with entering an enclosure with a grown fucking BEAR

[@flyingstonemon3564]

​​@@striker8961 Or if they find us! Historically being "diScOvEred" doesn't end well for people ;[

[@Konani_the_unicorn_queen]

@@striker8961 _delicious_ aliens :D!

[@ElPumaGrande]

It confounds me, people will lose their literal shit over the sight of a harmless insect (that happens to be larger than others, but still hardly even a fraction of our size), yet will approach Bears and Bison like they’re a friendly house pet

[@BreandanOCiarrai]

it's the fur. Has to be.

[@Gooner184]

Pretty sure it has something to do with how cute we find mammals to be. I remember Vsauce did a video on cuteness ages ago which delved into that a bit iirc.

[@hw2311]

@@BreandanOCiarrai Like a fuzzy tarantula. ^^

[@Audreythescrub]

@@hw2311tarantulas are cute, so are moths and bumblebees

[@Saga_Anserum]

We're also hardwired to not like bugs - not for their threat to us, but for their association with spoiled food

[@zackhurwitz9441]

That clip of the bear getting checked by the cat kills me every time. Even something as formidable as a bear, fears the immeasurable evil lavishing before it.

[@ruinthuessia1078]

6:47 The glass door was there to protect the bear from the cat 🙏😭

[@zackhurwitz9441]

@@ruinthuessia1078 😺: "Tell me, Yogi or whatever your name is. Have you ever listened to the poet and philosopher -Mystical?" 🐻: "No. I just want to eat your trash, I hope it's not too much of a both-" 😺: "HELP THE BEAR!!!!!"

[@melbrak271]

It's cats taking the "what do you think you could take on in a fight" survey. They think they xan take anything. I have four of the little gremlins and two of them definitely think they could take on Zeus himself and win.

[@zackhurwitz9441]

@@melbrak271 they would look at Zeus and be like "why aren't you bowing to me, peasant?"

[@rexperverziff]

A cat is basically just a minature tiger

[@LaPaginadiLeonardo]

"I can take down a brown bear!" "You have to be unarmed" *...slowly shuts down nucler submarine...*

[@carmenincha2375]

i basically grew up in the woods, and we regularly had deer and bears visiting our yard. the deer were super chill and you could get basically close enough to pet them (which i did frequently, apparently). my mom wouldn’t buy me teddy bears (other stuffies were fine) since she was afraid I’d try to walk up and pet the BEAR CUBS. (to be fair, i probably would’ve done that, so she made the right call)

[@braindead3919]

Smart of your mom

[@Lil_gomi]

That’s something I’d probably do too ngl

[@angelsjoker8190]

Probably every person on Earth would have the urge to pet a bear cub. Only if you know about bears and that cuba usually have their mother somewhere around may you be able to suppress that urge.

[@Redditor6079]

It's fine mama bear can chill out ​@@angelsjoker8190

[@icarusbinns3156]

Black bear broke into my tent when I was camping, years ago… I come awake, screeching like a fox or barn owl, flailing a tree branch I had (no, I don’t recall why I had a branch!). And that poor teddy flees up a tree! And then we spent several minutes just looking at each other. Not eye contact, but me just kinda watching where the bear was, and bear watching me, making sure he’s not getting hit with that branch… again. I guess that was the first time he poked into a tent containing a human. He was definitely startled! And Happy Birthday, my dude! 🎉🎂 (We’re a week apart)

[@genericname2747]

Bro just wanted to steal some food and ended up dealing with a whole human

[@DeadKraken]

@@genericname2747 Bro just wanted marshmellows but ended up with PTSD😔

[@darcieclements4880]

I'm surprised that casual geographic didn't point out that the black bears trying to eat you is the reason why you attack a black bear when there's a confrontation, and the grizzlies being defensive being the reason why you play dead if it's a grizzly. Kind of seems like important information for people to know and I think he's mentioned it before but it would have been perfect in this video. Black bears are thinking you might be an easy meal, brown bears are thinking you might be dangerous for them in most cases. Do not mess with either if they have cubs. And yeah it is weird that the bigger ones see you as a threat but those big ones tend to be more food thiefs than active predators. Black bears on the other hand aren't quite large enough to steal food regularly and easily from other predators so they will hightail it unless they think they can get away with it safely and prefer to hunt weak things directly. I believe it's even been shown that some of the largest of the brown bears don't actually end up hunting at all they just waltz up and take whatever they want from anything they come across😂

[@ThelastShepherd.]

Aww poor teddy didn't get to eat you😢

[@icarusbinns3156]

@@ThelastShepherd. I probably taste terrible. It’s why many animals don’t eat humans. We don’t taste good

[@master_ranch_of_the_runnin7289]

I had a co-worker who said he could take on a chimp and another co-worker who said he could take on a black bear. Ego goes crazy.

[@averycheesypotato]

They’re both crazy, but the chimp guy is further in over his head!

[@DirtyBobBojangles]

Lmao you've got to be like me to take out a chimp😂

[@erichbrough6097]

Ego, then he go, then... he gone.

[@Space_Hitler]

Theyre built different

[@TallyHallic]

@@DirtyBobBojangles Bro thinks he's him💀

[@PyroMynx]

Plus size, eyeshadow, cotton ball! XD Omg, that's one of my favorite things about your videos. Your nicknames for animals sometimes make me get abs of steel! LOL! Keep it going!

[@PrydeWater901]

Polar bear: I kills you. Sloth bear: BEG FOR THE SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH!!!

[@genericname2747]

Can't believe the sloth bear is scarier

[@aleksandarvil5718]

The Sloth Bear = Ursine version of Jeffrey Dahmer 😰😰😰

[@theducknamednewepicla9507]

Yup

[@awhartig5847]

14:19 "Honestly, the _bear_ wouldn't even choose us." I love this man Happy Birthday🎂🥳

[@SotaBoy4232]

🌈 month is over

[@MaxieTheMax]

@@SotaBoy4232Me trying to find who asked: 💀

[@genericname2747]

​@@SotaBoy4232Your gay now

[@SotaBoy4232]

@@genericname2747 I thought there was nothing wrong with that? I mean there is something extremely wrong with it but if I was, that's extremely homophobic of you

[@genericname2747]

@@SotaBoy4232 I'm sorry you hate yourself

[@HeisenbergFam]

"giant unhinged dog with every attribute maxed" Bears are so OP they need to be nerfed

[@TheFlyingSailorYT]

Git Gud

[@Jinz3]

Nah they're a good control mechanism

[@stephenflint3640]

​@@Jinz3 This. Definitely this. Bears keep us humble. Not many things can that ain't microscopic and bearing little actual difference to computer infections other than biological.

[@LawfulBased]

How can someone even live in Canada without walking around with a gun 24/7? I couldn't.

[@keronrussell9271]

The joke is, they've *been* nerfed

[@quibeom]

omg happy birthday man! you and your content are such a blessing, really helped me survive the past two years, you’ve really nurtured my love for animals and your way of going about these videos made it far more digestible and easier to engage with. i had to take a break from your channel because i found myself waiting too eagerly for videos and i’ve now returned with so much to binge. you’re doing incredible work and i’ll definitely get the book when i can, keep up the great work and again, a happy birthday to you my guy. hope you had a good one. 💜

[@purplehaze2358]

6:46 Prior to today, I did _not_ know a cat could guard your home against a bear more effectively than most dogs can.

[@soapsatellite]

I mean, considering how often tigers were mentioned in the video and the one mention of panthers, that seems reasonable

[@Tonyhouse1168]

Cats dgaf

[@grimsonforce7504]

You based that off a one clip lol. Dogs do far better than a cat, there's a reason why dogs are used to hunt bears.

[@tisvana18]

@@grimsonforce7504this probably really depends on the dog and less on the cat lol. A cat’s a cat and most breeds will do the same against a bear, the unusually large breeds notwithstanding. A chihuahua, a standard poodle, and a pit bull will have dramatically different matchups lol.

[@Lazyschoolstudent]

😂

[@QilleWolf]

“Those eyes stared at the void and the void blinked first” I am CRYING 😂😂

[@lilyhempt1144]

YES!!

[@tek512]

Special mention for Jimbo the kodiak bear, who was so big he dwarfed his human even while laying down. He was a great example of how massive those things get. His owners were lucky he was so unusually gentle and aware. One errant twitch would've been enough to remove names from the census.

[@andersjjensen]

One play tap and you land roughly where the sun sets.

[@tek512]

@@andersjjensen Jimbo space program

[@Tribecasoothsayer]

The sun bear is so absolutely an old feral human

[@greencertifiedweb]

About 10 years ago, I was hiking the High Sierra Trail, day 4, we're camping on the Kern river and lit a small fire. About 10pm, I decided to go get some more firewood, and saw a hiker coming down the trail. I thought it was weird, he had 2 headlamps, not just one... That's when I realized, it was a bear and my headlamp was reflecting in his eyes. I let out a manly war cry, that I choose to deny, sounded like a little girl screaming, and ran back to camp to tell everyone a bear was coming, but he didn't come into camp. Happy Birthday!

[@Caronte4116]

I mean....if you know the destructive power of almost any bear, any girly scream would fit perfectly to me...

[@insanospaz]

You yelled at a bear and lived to tell the tale. It counts as a manly war cry in my book.

[@diliscollective9743]

did you die?

[@Deleted_Duck1273]

​@@diliscollective9743 I think he did, but im not sure

[@coltonwilliams4153]

@@diliscollective9743 Sadly, yes… but he lived!

[@samvimes9510]

I live near the Smoky Mountains, so black bears are a pretty common sight around here. What infuriates me is the news stories surrounding them. I _constantly_ hear about dumbass tourists in Gatlinburg trying to feed bears that wander into town. And then there's the tourists who leave food in their car and leave the door unlocked or the window down. There need to be signs posted every 3 feet warning people "DO NOT FEED THE BEARS" and "BEARS CAN OPEN CAR DOORS".

[@scoot-scoot51341]

I work at a resort around the same area, and we are CONSTANTLY telling people to lock their car doors, as the bears can and WILL break in. 9 times out of 10, people listen. The few who don't listen, however...

[@blackc1479]

We lived in sevierville up near wears valley. You could see the parkway from our place. Had the front door open one day, and my wife started yelling. What she thought was a neighbors dog was a bear. Possibly the same one eventually came back and raided our garbage. Not too long after that, a mama and cubs decided to live in our neighbors tree. Scared the crap out of em. Clawing at their screens, they couldn't let their dogs out. Animal control basically told em they couldn't do jack. It's just like Florida. Somebody says alligator and the turons all head towards it while the locals nope out.

[@jtdinoking1930]

I visit Gatlinburg every couple years and my dad told me a story once when we were in pigeon forge swimming I was just a baby right down the river was the largest black bear he’s ever seen like big enough to be mistaken for a small brown bear. He picked me and my brothers up and we were gone.

[@murphyrecords16]

people have lost touch w nature and the internet actively skews our pov of it bc everyone want a vid feeding a wild animal.

[@genericname2747]

Okay so what I'M hearing is that if I leave my car unlocked there's a chance the bear will end up hitting the gas pedal and then there's a bear driving my car

[@buzzsburner.8286]

"call me joe rogan or a grinder gladiator, we are going down the bear hole" 😭

[@JBBell]

I somehow missed this one and almost spit my drink!

[@robbyk5266]

😂😂 too good

[@BlackKnightsCommander]

Man, now i wanna reread Golden Kamuy

[@silviuvisan505]

*joe rogan noises intensifying*

[@HannibalKantter]

I actually hope Joe sees this video, I feel hes going to laugh his stoned ass off with that one 😂

[@billyyank5807]

9:55 that caribou chase is one of the most awesome yet terrifying things I've ever seen. The speed that bear had over that distance was incredible. Then he chased it through the river and back onto land.

[@michaeljennings7214]

So, I’ve been an Uber driver for nearly 6 years. My first year, I pick up this pretty cool, pretty chatty rider. It was cool tho, cause I’m pretty chatty myself. Dude and I got to talking about social media and creating content. Told me had a couple channels on a couple different platforms. As I dropped him off, he humbly told me his KZbin channel name and I put it into my search. A couple days later, that recent search caught my eye, so I figured I’d check out some of his content. The channel name was “Casual Geographic”, and I’ve been a subscriber and frequent viewer ever since. Thank you, Mamadou, for all the hours of content and entertainment I’ve enjoyed now for nearly half a decade. Catch you on the flip.

[@badger297]

Damn that's cool af

[@DarthSidian]

No fucking way, that is CRAZY

[@outoforder8791]

​​@@DarthSidian It can't be true. Casual Geographic created his channel in 2020. So this couldn't have happened 6 or 5 years ago, lol.

[@fastinradfordable]

The last 5 years been all down hill since huh😂😢😭

[@bobtheball5384]

​​@@outoforder8791The only way I could see this being possible is either if casual had another KZbin channel for this (before he renamed himself) or that this person got the date wrong.

[@frbrbrgrblgrr7777]

Chimpanzee being higher on that list than a King Cobra or even a wolf is unhinged. One wolf I could likely make run away / give up, one mad Chimp? If it does run away from kicks and shoving my fingers in it's eyes it's only running to a tree so it can do that stupid Chimp spin around the tree thing then come running at me full tilt and rip my fuckin wiener off. Hell. No.

[@heavyhitman]

Man I'd still take on a bear rather than a chimpanzee, if given the option. Coz at least the bear would make it quicker than a chimp. Fuck you Ceaser.

[@cyancyborg1477]

See a wolf will just kill you, a chimpanzee will make you wish it did.

[@batshtcrazy5293]

😂 I shouldn't have laughed, but your description was hilarious. And for the record, I agree. Big NOPE for fighting a chimp!

[@heavyhitman]

I would still rather fight a Bear than a chimp. F you Cesar.

[@steroprince]

Or they’re running to get the colony on you

[@crumpetcat1554]

"Those eyes stared at the void and the void blinked first" that line was metal af ngl

[@MetalBaller83]

Dude, your channel is fucking awesome. I LOVE your commentary, you’re absolutely hilarious! Keep doing what you do, brother!

[@messyjoy899]

I love the twist at the end where you show that despite how dangerous some of these bears are , they are more suffering from us then we are from them. 🐻🐻‍❄️🐼

[@DJSockmonkeyMusic]

That's true for the entire (and only) planet we can live on, in the entire universe, that we can get to. I'm getting really worried that humans might not have much longer, tbh.

[@adammaturin1277]

​@@DJSockmonkeyMusicI am more worried that humanity might somehow manage to exist long enough to either, invest the insane amount of resources it seems it would take to get to another star system, or somehow manage to gain some technology that allows us to get to another star system. If that ever happens, the universe is screwed. 🤣

[@DJSockmonkeyMusic]

@@adammaturin1277 that's valid. That's totally valid.

[@yulfine1688]

@@DJSockmonkeyMusic humans are part of nature like anything else, I wouldn't be worried about anything of the sort nature is more than fine

[@oahts5906]

“Basically a giant unhinged dog with every attribute maxed” 😂 perfect description of a grizzly bear

[@BadBoyofBinaries]

Predator: > Tigers: oh look a meat eating food!

[@raute2687]

ancient debate, but there's no way a tiger could beat a polar bear in single combat. They probably wouldn't be able to kill bears larger than a grizzly.

[@BadBoyofBinaries]

@@raute2687 ever heard of Siberian Tiger?

[@alexiscallcenter]

Ty​@@BadBoyofBinaries

[@manuellaruelocuesta8187]

​@@raute2687maybe if they ambush the bear they have a chance also i read from other comments that Siberian tigers sometimes hunt ussuri brown bears but they are mostly females or young bears. No big cat can defeat a grizzly or bigger bear in a figth but if they ambush them they may have a chance

[@Distix-uz8qr]

⁠@@BadBoyofBinariesme when the average Siberian tiger is under 120 kilos 😜

[@havardwindingstad4112]

Some guys from my town was kayaking around Svalbard. They got attacked by a polar bear. One got his head in its jaws, the other managed to shot the bear while his friend was hanging in the air. Got a nice scar around his whole face. At least the polar bear gave him an ice breaker.

[@chartypeplays2396]

I feel like at least 6% of those survey respondents either think they're the ultimate badass or just didn't read the question carefully.

[@averycheesypotato]

A full 8% thought they could beat an elephant. They think bears are tougher than elephants, *and they think they can fight an elephant!*

[@Placker8102]

They could've thought it was funny. If I got asked a question like that I would think it'd be hilarious to say bear or elephant because obviously i couldn't.

[@averycheesypotato]

@SanityTV_Last_Sane_Man_Alive trump supporters misread the premise of the poll, called the poll rigged, and refused to vote as a result.

[@strivingsol1816]

I'm more concerned about the 8% who said they'd beat an elephant unarmed. Like what are you gonna do if you were in that situation, punch its knee or something before you get trampled?

[@TheMelnTeam]

Or doing memes. Could also be like that one game where if you appraise literally any monster while your character is drunk, you could take 'em.

[@user-kh3jj4rx2v]

"He looks like a bear with social anxiety that got told to act natural". Oh, so *that's* my spirit animal

[@Your_favorite_seasoning]

EVERYONE WAKE UP, CASUAL GEOGRAPHIC POSTED

[@skellyscooper]

I’m up! I’m up!

[@color4178]

Im awake, I got 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭

[@BrightMky]

I'm up...

[@_RatterCatter_]

IM UP!

[@kryw10]

Wha… um… Oh! Oh crap, let me grab my coffee.

[@angelalewis3645]

You are SO GOOD! All the wordplay, references, and research! Love you, man!

[@JoeMad437]

Bears are the embodiment of “I’m not stuck in here with you, you’re stuck in here with me

[@DharkKirby]

Best animal KZbinr whole heartedly

[@honestants]

real

[@DharkKirby]

@@honestants Ikr

[@coffee_2234]

I mean bear can pretty much do everything like climbing trees,swimm,run,and have a amazing strength abilities

[@DharkKirby]

@@coffee_2234 What, this isn't related to my comment. But true bro

[@KasKade7]

Black, fight back! Brown, lay down! White, good night!

[@brendanprackit2553]

I'll take "Police Code Language" for $800, Alex.... 🤨

[@Darksouls131]

...and never wake up!

[@C00kii0]

The sun bear is nature's way of questioning if we can really recognize other humans, and I stand by that thought 😂

[@Buttonjira]

Chances of surviving fictional bears Winnie the Pooh: 98% Freddy fazbear: 35% Bobo: 60% Mashas bear: 40% Kung fu panda: 2%

[@Morrison-saber-tooth]

Yogi bear: 99% Baloo: 50% Paddington:20% Boog(open season): 40% We bare bears trio:50/50(cant decide)

[@Buttonjira]

@@Morrison-saber-tooth We need more! Do koalas count?

[@Morrison-saber-tooth]

@@Buttonjira koalas are marsupials so... not

[@Buttonjira]

@@Morrison-saber-tooth there sometimes called koala bears…soooooo

[@raymondsmith2040]

Fozzie: 1% but it's his jokes that'll kill you first

[@amysheldon369]

For years I knew there was a saying about bears, but couldn't remember what I was told! Then you came across with " if its black, fight back; if its brown , lay down; if it's white white, say GOOD NIGHT!

[@ganymede6535]

Broo that is a good one😂

[@elleray9293]

And if it’s a sloth, your face coming off 😳

[@ganymede6535]

@@elleray9293 if it is a Kodiak, stay the f*ck back

[@DneilB007]

If you see a polar bear in the wild, you should be aware that they have already chosen the wine pairing.

[@The_Loveable_Alien]

*encountering humans* American Bears: oh shit, I'm out European Bears: 😳 I- don't mind me... any other bear: OH YOU WANNA GO?!

[@Max_R_MaMint]

Truth. Over here, though, they just assume everyone has a gun.

[@bullgravy6906]

And over here they’re the biggest and baddest thing around. Everywhere else, exception of polar bears in Alaska, something tries to murk them

[@Yoda_Gaming1738]

american bears found out that adreline was in fact, not a joke when they decided to attack american settlers

[@sanneoi6323]

It's probably the guns. Who wants to mess with a creature that carries around a death stick that can end your life instantly?

[@darthplagueis13]

I'd say Brown Bears in most of Europe aren't likely to go ape-shit on you. They're either gonna share the reaction of the American bears, or be like "Don't mind me" while continuing to rummage through your garbage. It's mostly the Asian bears that compete with tigers and leopards that are more trigger happy.

[@BeaglzRok1]

An anecdote on Polar Bears, my friend's uncle was with some buds hunting seals in Svalbard, a series of arctic islands. It's the only place in Norway where carrying a firearm is mandatory, specifically because of polar bears. Also snowmobiles, I heard a trainer pulled up to a guy going 40km/h and said "you're going too slow" for the same reason. But I digress, allegedly Unc and the team got their seal, had some drinks to celebrate, and set up camp. On watch, they're roused to arms, and ended up having to spend the night fighting off (read: shooting at) somewhere between 3-5 bears trying to get their catch. Even if it didn't happen, that's a damn good horror movie and entirely believable.

[@Badficwriter]

Reminds me of Call of Duty: World at War's zombie mode. They were playing a fishing game and then suddenly it was a timed Survive the Polar Bears game. 😄

[@themastergluesniffer]

“Call me Joe Rogan or a Grindr Gladiator” is WILD

[@justthecomments]

FFS 😭

[@LordVulcan93]

Diabolical, even.

[@Max_R_MaMint]

I heard that but it didnt register until I read this... with the "e" missing. 🤣🤣

[@geronimoflair]

I usually catch all his jokes but I missed that one

[@andersjjensen]

@@geronimoflair He said "can call me gay".

[@neilarnold5506]

This was such a cool concept for a video, and I think it would be cool to see it with other species of animals as well. Also HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

[@maddog7173]

“I’m gonna kill the suspense right now the polar bears are 10” 12:20 Comes in with the tactical nuke sound from COD

[@HenrythePaleoGuy]

Seeing a polar bear on the horizon sounds like one of the most terrifying things ever. Seeing something like that jogging towards you is mind-meltingly scary.

[@genericname2747]

They're hard to see because they blend in :D

[@malice5863]

​@@genericname2747 Especially in whiteouts where they are invisible, literal cooked moment if you are in that situation

[@alyssarichardson2544]

ikr?? I'm Australian and will never understand why people from NA think of Australia as the land of deadly critters - you can cut those bird-eating spiders (funnel web) and any of our deadly snakes to pieces easily with a shovel, dealing with a bear seems like I'd need a shotgun, and I'd get my ass kicked by the recoil (I've fired guns at my uncles farm, they were all like 100 years old though)

[@_chirp_6108]

Pack it up, by the time you see it, it's seen you since last week

[@HenrythePaleoGuy]

@@_chirp_6108 Very true lol

[@sonnythebigdummy6151]

Best way to avoid bears is staying out of their territory and Leaving them the hell alone.

[@annastark3786]

That's why I live in Australia

[@izzymhee2430]

@@annastark3786 Not bringing up the drop bears is diabolical! An ignorant tourist could get in real trouble and- .....ohhhhh..... Never mind. Good on ya

[@Taz-ey4jl]

Howabout no unless a human owns the land we can go wherever we want otherwise we may as well stay in our houses because as far as non human animals are concerned anywhere they mark is their territory so we might as by your terrible idea not leave our houses or even exist.

[@genericname2747]

​@@Taz-ey4jl You're going to get mauled

[@genericname2747]

Except Polar Bears. They'll come to you

[@maargenbx1454]

I have no idea how this ended up in my vid feed but it was fun to watch. I refuse to go anywhere there’s ever been a bear sighting so I’m good.

[@usmh]

You always have a way with words, but "outeverything you" still struck me as a gem.

[@DanGamingFan2406]

"There's a lot to unpack here." Right? Exactly how do these people plan to fold a whole elephant with their bare hands? They're huge, strong, and unlike 8% of the U.S., really smart.

[@watershipup7101]

Really, how do they think they stand a chance against any of the animals below "large dog", especially Chimps? Have they not heard the stories?

[@genjis5155]

More than enough hubris to make Icarus blush.

[@thusnameddigital9397]

​@@watershipup7101Yeah, or at least seen Nope. Maybe they could survive a fight with a kangaroo, but it's a big maybe.

[@alanjefferson1127]

Elephants have weaknesses, I'm not saying a human could do this with an elephant attacking him, but a man can dig with his bare hands and if he has time he can dig and disguise a trench that will mobility kill an elephant. An elephant with a broken leg/knee is cooked all the way through. The fight condition just seems to be "bare hands," if there's specific conditions like "confined to an Amazon warehouse, nowhere to hide or run," then of course the man is dead meat. Maybe we shouldn't dismiss the 8%, but ask instead, "what do they know that I don't?"

[@CT-7567CaptainRex6]

Tbh I don't think many people could take an eagle that has the surprise effect. But without it more people could take them but they are still really strong and dangerous. A great dane would take a human I think

[@ammaokami4479]

People are gawking at the percentages of people who think they could beat a grizzly or an elephant, but I'm just glad 51% stopped at medium sized dog Also, happy birthday!

[@IneffableMasquerade]

The correct answer is a big ass tortoise or a porcupine. Things that don't require much strength to fight and things that are to slow or have a hard time actually fatally injuring you. Slightly bigger than a medium sized dog and you will eventually find a way around their defense with smarts. Anything even slightly bigger and you're pushing your luck.

[@technicaldifficulties368]

It depends what the fight is about too tbh.

[@Zukinilini]

@@IneffableMasquerade :FiniiOgey:

[@AK-jt7kh]

@@IneffableMasqueradePorcupine?!?? 😂😂😂

[@murphyrecords16]

​@@technicaldifficulties368ngl I would fight a bear for cheeseburger

[@Overwatch17]

I'm more shocked that 28% don't think they could beat a rat in a fight.

[@blufudgecrispyrice8528]

They do eat children tho

[@Saga_Anserum]

have you *seen* Splinter?!?!?!

[@tymunster]

I think i like the question "whats the smallest animal you cant take in a fight" even more, cause you either get something way bigger than you should or honey badger

[@genericname2747]

blue-ringed octopus

[@MotoHikes]

4:20 Not the squad dressed like pandas to release one 💀💀💀💀

[@Zak-tk8wv]

The panda crawling away was adorable

[@neilpk70]

I used to teach high school in Tuktoyaktuk. In the winter, it's dark most of the time. The walk from home to the school was about 500m,. Since I liked to go in early, there were some mornings after I'd heard about hunters shooting a polar bear inside the hamlet's limits, I'd run as fast as my legs could carry me. The thought that "One of those monsters I saw stuffed at the airport could come out of the cold, snowy dark and carry me away to chow down on, never to be seen or heard from again" lent me extra energy.

[@dragonbread1790]

That sounds like one hell of a morning workout

[@NuniaBiznaz]

They wouldn't so much bother to carry you away so much as they would probably slap you down and sit on you while munching away.

[@Void63728]

1:20 that bear walking near the door is cute tho 💀

[@sadlavender6811]

Polar cub in the thumbnail: 🐱 Polar mama behind: 💀

[@genericname2747]

Aww! I want to hug it. But I won't

[@sadlavender6811]

@@genericname2747 We want to. *But we must not.*

[@PonianYouTube]

@@sadlavender6811 I mean Parma what are you trying to do? Give it **more** motivation to kill you?

[@Duckduckgoose112]

@@sadlavender6811stay focused brothers! We must stay focused!

[@user-ok2lw9cc1z]

"If it's brown get down, if it's black fight back, and if it's white like powder....this will be your final hour." -- Casual Geographic

[@og.shadefur]

why do sun bears look like a human dressed up as a bear

[@opheliamunroe1110]

The universe loves a good joke animal. Like. Have you seen the ocean sunfish?? Utterly ridiculous.

[@clinically_insane_Puppets]

Idk I guess they just built like that💀

[@Mehmeh968]

@@opheliamunroe1110 I heard that the Sunfish' survival strategy is jacking up on HP, reducing their number of pain nerves, and just pray that whatever' eating them is too full to keep eating them.

[@macaronsncheese9835]

​@@Mehmeh968 actually no they're pretty good at what they do. Yeah being unappetizing is part of it, but turns out they're proficient deep sea hunters in their own right and not as useless or stupid as they've been made out to be.

[@Nightmarecatalyst]

Why do trees look like trees

[@seagoulcoulberg]

"Make it an 8.5.. if you know, you know" You kill me, man

[@lfr8666]

My friends just went hiking and realized there was a mama black bear with two cubs hiding off-trail ahead (I think someone else had startled them). They stopped some distance away and waited for the bears to re-emerge, only for Mama to come out and start walking towards them, as if to say, "Back up further!" Very polite of her, honestly.

[@NobodyLikesThePlasticBear]

Most black bears actually are very polite! They may “bluff charge” you in defense of their cubs, but they’ll immediately stop if they think you’ve got the message. There’s video evidence supporting this on @bearstudy (I can’t remember the exact video but I believe it’s one of Juliet’s den cam videos).

[@BreandanOCiarrai]

A couple of weeks ago one randomly walked into a house, opened the freezer and gently pulled out some meat, politely closed it again, and walked out. Our bears here in Alaska range from Homicidal Fluff Muffin to Dapper Furry Gentleman, it's a weird existence

[@justinw1765]

@@BreandanOCiarrai A bit like people in that sense. Wide variety.