EVERY Starkid Hatchetfield Song RANKED - Starro54

Team Starkid recently dropped the short film Workin' Boys on their KZbin channel, and that got me in the mood to talk about Musical Theatre! So today I'll be ranking the songs from the Hatchetfield series - The Guy Who Doesn't Like Musicals, Black Friday, and Nerdy Prudes Must Die. No Nightmare Time, though. I've got enough songs to rank as is! So I'll go song by song by song giving them a rank, then give the full order in the end!

[@al_eggs]

i love pokey just being referred to as “The Blue Shit”

[@alexandersean4708]

While there are a few things I don't agree with, 99% of this was just "Finally! SOMEONE is brave enough to say it!"

[@KT_BLU]

Yup

[@moonfairy8363]

Same as well. I was like "Finally someone appreciates 'Do You Want to Play'!" Also the appreciation Jaime as an actor ❤

[@anjirhiannon2912]

If I fail you, the ending of Nerdy Prudes must die and Hatchettown are, in my humble opinion, some of the most musically phenomenal songs in the whole musical theatre genre, Jeff and Matt did some fantastic work on the writing and musical directing of these numbers

[@starro54]

totally agree! hatchet town deserves all of the love!!!

[@lillianv6805]

"join us and die" was honestly fucking terrifying when I first saw it

[@RobertDPore]

I'll step in to defend "Just *For* Once" (if I don't, who will?) on the basis of A). I first watched the digital ticket a few months after turning 40 myself and those portions of the song got to me, B). I genuinely feel like the verse about the chemo treatment is some of Jeff's best lyric writing ever, and C). This is for me the best feature for Lauren's voice in the trilogy, a resource that was definitely underused in TGWDLM and to me didn't seem to quite fit the songs she was given in BF (though I admit I regularly sing "Wiggle, wiggle, Wiggly will wiggle tonight" in my head, it's just stuck there for good). Honestly I'd rank it first among the "musical within a musical" songs, but then again I'm the weirdo who just never took to "Show Stopping Number" at all beyond Ted's background comedy, it just isn't my thing.

[@starro54]

that's awesome that you got more out of it than i did! i really do think it that it's a matter of time and place. I'm in a place where I'm much closer to Ruth in age so a lot of the power in the monologue proper is lost on me unfortunately. thanks for the comment!!

[@amerespectator3023]

If I could add to your praise of "Just For Once", I'd like to say that one of my favorite parts of it is where Ruth is belting "Just for once". During that part, if you listen carefully, you can hear the instrumental motif of "If I can finally be cool" in the background! I love that detail, connecting her desire to be seen and show off her acting skills with her desire to be "cool", which connects to all the other nerds, too. Love that song!

[@shradibop]

if you don't, who will? i will. not even close to being 40 but damn it if this isn't one of the best songs in the musical

[@actuallythesun]

I think Just for Once deserves a little more love. Lauren is a vocal powerhouse, and the melody changing when she gets a little too emotional back to the funny monologue and then to the “I used to dance” gets me every time 🥲

[@starro54]

perhaps i treated just for once too harshly. i may just drop a new video......

[@CarrotY0utube]

Part of me thinks the song should have been shorter, but then I would've wanted the songs to be longer after the fact.

[@dinogrl4102]

you're so real for this. i love just for once sm bc it seems like it means so much for ruth and she finally gets her moment in the spotlight. and ofc lauren did so well with the vocals in the song

[@samdavies-i1n]

Jeff really went off in this trilogy

[@starro54]

shoutout jeff blim‼️

[@Jesse-l9f]

Nerdy Prudes Must Die is not only the best song in the trilogy, but all of Starkid

[@nobody-vm9vq]

This video made me remember that I absolutely adore all of these and I will now be rewatching the entire series

[@starro54]

@@nobody-vm9vq yes!! glad i got you back into it 😎

[@SonderDoesArt]

IM SO HAPPY OH MY GOD ACTUALLY THOUGH. Someone finally appreciates America is Great Again!!! that's such a good song it just tickles my brain with the harmonies god it's so gooddddd THANK YOU. Can you pleaseeeee do Spies are Forever?

[@starro54]

spies are forever is on the list ‼️‼️

[@SonderDoesArt]

@@starro54 LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[@eldritchexploited5462]

Thank you for doing Hatchet Town justice

[@starro54]

it's me i have my hands on the hatchet handle

[@slushiesupremacy]

Jeff nailed it with the entirety of NPMD 🔥 overall I think your list is pretty good. It probably upset some people that show stopping number wasn’t s tier 😅 I’d be interested if you decided to rank nightmare time songs too but no pressure

[@starro54]

after the positive reception here, i'm definitely going for nightmare time soon!

[@epicbee27]

I'm terrible at picking favourites of just about anything, but I genuinely think the summoning is my favourite hatchetfield song, probably even my favourite starkid song. The whole thing is so fitting, you can really feel the power of the lords in black. The lighting, the story, the music, the acting, it's all so perfect and feels so intimidating

[@starro54]

that's amazing!! i love the summoning a lot so I'm glad you found a good favorite!

[@Bl4ck_m0ld]

Fun fact; I actually highly didn’t like show stopping number when I listened to it the first few times. It did slowly become my fav over time, but let it out and inevitable are always the highest S tier. Also I really don’t like monsters and men

[@starro54]

show stoppin number had the opposite effect on me unfortunately! but yeah INEVITABLE S TIER WOOO

[@nitebreak]

let it out is so amazing, i love the “maybe i’ve always been” parts the most

[@cymbals_kid]

I shed a couple tears during inevitable lowkey

[@starro54]

@@cymbals_kid so real

[@Harperthe1]

I have a deep deep love for Dirty Dudes Must Die (Grace Chasity❤❤) so I’m glad it got an A. I also really love Our Doors Are Open and it definitely deserves S tier. I also agree with you Show Stopping Number, it’s good but not that good

[@nikom3084]

I disagree with some of your placements, but this was a very entertaining and well-edited video! I COMPLETELY agree with you on Show Stopping Number tbh. I like it, but I feel like it's a bit overhyped? Also big of you to recognize how objectively incredible Our Doors are Open is.

[@starro54]

thank you!! our doors are open is just objectively perfect tbh!!

[@acatonasofa5276]

Great ranking! The only thing I disagree with is that I see High school is killing me as a S tier

[@muchosconfuzzlement8258]

Your script makes an excellent point for any of the rankings I disagree with, which were few and far in between. Banger video :)

[@starro54]

thank you so much!!

[@giovanniPOTAGEE]

Not to push up my nerd glasses and "erm, ackschully" your "What If Tomorrow Comes" ranking, but its widely accepted that the ending plane sound is a fighter jet dropping a nuke in retaliation for the nuking in Moscow. Edit: by "widely accepted" I mean widely accepted BY THE FANDOM because it makes more sense why the hatchetfield timeloop resets again: because everyone died/failed.

[@bonsai-is-a-lie]

4:16 ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY HE IS ❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️🦅🦅🦅🦅📢📢🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥❗️❗️🦅🦅🦅

[@starro54]

MY GOAT!!!!!!

[@AwildGwen]

I agree with pretty much all of this except I'd have dirty dudes must die on Stier as well. that songs gives me chills

[@starro54]

@@AwildGwen grace chastity kills it‼️ (literally)

[@victorianoelle9043]

To me Show Stopping Number is S tier 🙏

[@Nickthegamer96]

My all time favorite is If I Fail You. It's such a good song. None of the other songs are bad whatsoever.

[@starro54]

so correct, if i fail you rocks!

[@confused_pixbea637]

finally the best of you gets appreciation! i feel like it gets put on the bottom of everyones list because all the music is so good

[@Itsmidnight_youneedtosleep]

Dude I love all of the Hatchetfield songs so much, but the only one that made me cry was “If I Fail You” in Black Friday. Although overall the musical wasnt AS good as the other two, it gave me literal chills listening to it and carried such strong emotions

[@starro54]

yeah, everytime dylan saunders sings i cry he's so good

[@HomoAlone1]

Everything you said about show stopping number is true! Its the performance selling it.

[@crimson-cloud]

I'm so happy you love Monsters and Men reprise. Genuinely I feel like it's so slept on when Jeff Blim kills it and it works so well. Also If I fail you being S tier is so based, I could gush do much about it. Man

[@starro54]

thanks for validating my takes 🫡🫡🫡

[@ejirokirishima4604]

The people of hatchetfield numbers are always my favourite, I love ensemble numbers

[@starro54]

i agree so hard!!

[@Lady_Ginnie]

YES, thank you. I totally agree with you about the show-within-a-show songs! They're great, but hardly the greatest songs in the musicals. Honestly, I agree with most of these ratings.

[@nitebreak]

i mostly agree with ur takes tbh, what tim wants is in S for me though cuz it’s so heartbreaking

[@panopticon4]

i see the sentiment it a lot and it makes sense, but nerdy prudes' ending while being happy is not without fear. grace chastity has the power of eldritch gods fueling her deluded idea of piousness now. paralleling max in every way SHE decides the dirty dudes, hatchetfield has someone else's hand on the hatchet handle now

[@limitlesskh]

you making me want to make more commentary and scripted videos lol, this was such a great video, good job man

[@starro54]

thank you!! appreciate the kind words brother 😎

[@AngelLikesArt]

I love all starkid shows and their songs (my fave non hatchetfield ones are twisted and holy musical Batman) , but oh man the hatchetfield series stories, especially the songs, are just on another level

[@starro54]

Aw hell yeah dude! The Hatchetfield songs are all earworms!! also also i just dropped a twisted ranking if you wanna see me rank that!

[@NitrogenBomb828]

only thing i disagree with is Made In America not being in S tier, but A tier is perfectly fine as well

[@Salemwitchcraft]

I noticed you forgot the summoning at the final ranking, where would that fall?

[@starro54]

hadn't even noticed!!! probably between Our Doors are Open and Feast or Famine!

[@ziziJ1235]

Overall I think the Hatchetfield shows are musically the best of Starkid

[@starro54]

I'd stand to agree! I'd make a case for Twisted tho, that show's score is marvelous

[@רוניבןעזרא-ו6ש]

yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh S Tier Inevitable! It was...

[@amerespectator3023]

You are so real for this. Agree with you at least 90% of the time. Based indeed.

[@starro54]

always 🫡

[@dandy453]

did he forget the summoning at the end?

[@starro54]

they did! it's S-Tier btw...

[@babyggukie3580]

not him saying richmond high-- the school is northville high-

[@starro54]

idek why i said that - i was rewatching and like?? WHERE DID I GET RICHMOND?????

[@babyggukie3580]

@@starro54 ill forgive you if you made this with 0 hours of sleep

[@starro54]

@@babyggukie3580 i did 😭

[@The-Man-Of-Mystery]

Great video, I subbed

[@starro54]

@@The-Man-Of-Mystery thank you!!

[@JaneAshleyAndrews]

this ranking here cant be more correct

[@nori2773]

What's this CaliforMIA slander?😭

[@FakeDogs]

Hot take: i don't really like hatchet town. Sure, the vocals are nice and as are the lyrics - but the fact that nothing actually comes of it really detracts from my enjoyment of it. Just feels like it exists to pad out time in a reference fest to me - like, we never see these characters (other than the mayor) again, so what was the point in showing they're all doubting eachother?

[@starro54]

in the album version (and most live versions), the citizens of hatchetfield that are accusing eachother are the minor characters from throughout the show. like grace chastity's mom, the police officer, etc. i get your point but it's really just an issue with the pro-shot!

[@FakeDogs]

@starro54 there's still nothing that comes from it though :( the story wouldn't be any different if that entire section was removed

[@bakingkitty1034]

⁠​​⁠​⁠​⁠@FakeDogs I personally disagree, but it has more to do with the whole show’s score then the number on its own. The first notes of music we hear in the entire show is Hatchet Town, and the motif continues throughout the entire show whenever the murders are being discussed or highlighted. While the Hatchet Town number is arguably replaceable, the SONG is one of the musical through lines that tie the entire show together :]