Everyone Is John

Welcome to Mystery Quest! A roleplaying podcast where we play a variety of one-shot roleplaying games with a rolling cast of special guests. Today we're playing Everyone Is John, the game where players vie for control of the same character: John. Each player has their own secret mission to complete, so the story gets pulled in all sorts of weird and wacky directions.
Podcast: www.pickaxe.uk/mystery-quest
Patreon link: / mysteryquest
Follow the Cast:
Tom: / angorytom
Simon: / simonhoneydew
Lydia: / squidgame
Lewis: / bluexephos
Tom B: / @tombates

[@jepeman]

Should've been Everyone is Tom and have all the Toms playing.

[@theeutecticpoint]

+

[@Lordborgman]

Well Tom is already winning.

[@Relyx]

Angory Tom, Tom Bates, Tom Hazell, Spiffing Tom. Any other Tom's I'm forgetting who are still about?

[@denimandlead7725]

@@Relyxlol this comment reminds me of the episode of SpongeBob where the realtor comes to Squidwards house. Realtor: “Are there any other squidwards I should know about?!” Gary: “Meow”

[@crusatyr1452]

@@denimandlead7725 "Are there any other Toms I should know about?!" Tom: "Aww, shit the bed..."

[@nanofluber2682]

I gotta say, Tom has been absolutely killing it with content recently. His elden ring co op series with ben is so fun and mystery quest is just a gem.

[@100HoursIn]

This comment reinforces the idea i had coming to watch that mystery quest is essentially the angory tom fanbase + a bit more / more consistent viewership for better or worse? I guess for worse from a channel building perspective. Hopefully it picks up traction in the youtube algorithm and we get non-yogs in here.

[@mgordon1713]

@@100HoursIn I have introduced Mystery Quest to all my friends, even people who don't know Yogscast. They all love it.

[@lordwolfram6352]

Couldn't agree more

[@KavsLockedOut]

@@100HoursIn picks up in the algo? the channel has gained 50k subs in like a month

[@VanBourner]

Tom is on youtube what sips used to be. He even has his own memorial tower in Sips' Simcity that he played (the DLC) 10 years ago, so it was fated.

[@shadowfragment]

Fun fact: There's a brief spot where Broadway passes through a roundabout where central park is on one side and a cocktail bar called The Ascent is on the other side. They somehow accidentally got their New York geography basically correct.

[@garr_inc]

That is bananas, man. How?

[@Cheesepuff8]

Are the speed buriers also near by?

[@Relyx]

@@Cheesepuff8 Not what you asked, but did you know Manhattan actually barely has any cemeteries? Also they're all pretty far from Central Park. There's Trinity Church Cemetery in Hamilton Heights and then there's like half a dozen dotted around Lower Manhattan. I think only Trinity still takes active burials though. Most Manhattanites that want to be interred these days end up over in Queens, Brooklyn or The Bronx.

[@shroomyd.7260]

I love how Lewis' goal was to talk to the dead, and rather than just going to a cemetery or something his first instinct was murder and cannibalism.

[@Cheesepuff8]

Don’t forget the throwing up Ye Lewis really likes to go the extra mile in these

[@tallleprechaun1318]

This one was tame for lewis, last time he summoned Cthulhu

[@shroomyd.7260]

@@tallleprechaun1318 but at least then he gathered all of his summoning flesh from things that were already dead XD

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

Literally the first thing in this stream is cannibalism. No context. 😂

[@tallleprechaun1318]

@@shroomyd.7260 He didn't rip a page out of a book this time. Tamer

[@HerbertDole]

„I prefer the skinny ones” was one of Tom’s best roasts

[@dethmin173]

This game really does something to Lewis

[@etherdeef4303]

releases the lebanese boy within

[@Bram06]

Lewis has been the de facto leader of the group for more than a decade. It makes sense he enjoys games where he's given total freedom and is allowed to just fuck shit up

[@sirgwan5768]

From him ripping out a page of the Necronomicon, to him trying to avoid Interpol for kidnapping the Pope, to... whatever this course of events was, Everyone is John turns LewLew into a menace

[@Temprael]

I think it just reveals his true nature.

[@smeatar]

@@sirgwan5768 Wait, what was the pope one?

[@LordSusaga]

We need an "Everyone is Lewis" game at some point. Finally explaining why Lewis does what he does.

[@Peron1-MC]

they should release it like they did benga XD "Everyone is Lewis"

[@garion046]

In this version, willpower tokens randomly rain from the ceiling to the most inappropriate person at any given moment.

[@etherdeef4303]

i need this

[@thephoenixsystem6765]

"Join the Yogscast" they said "It'll be fun" they said "Nobody will run you over and eat your teeth and hair and blood before you've had a chance to do anything" they said

[@Vital_Velocity]

Simon's force truth skill was legendary. I couldn't stop laughing after the Jimmy reveal.

[@Peron1-MC]

true but like he said. ultimately tom has to say yes or no but he always said yes XD. it just means they cant lie.

[@wittyreviewer]

Someone being Jack The Ripper who killed those prostitutes to perform a ritual to become immortal...is actually a really fucking good idea for a CoC homebrew adventure.

[@SwedishDuckey]

The original Everyone Is John video is one of my favorite Yogscast videos ever. So this is gonna be amazing I already know

[@VanBourner]

Yeah, after the Lovecraftian series here I went back and watched that (along with all the Yogsquests). Duncan was absolutely amazing in the original video, but Simon, as always is a treat and it is easy to forget since he is not that present on main channel since like... Moonquest? Voltz? Early TTT? And he has such a great chemistry with Tom. Glad to see him do things he genuinely enjoys and has fun with.

[@KuueenKumi]

After the Christmas one, I knew this would be good.

[@the_enderslayer]

that original video is what got me into the game (for the past 3 years), love everyone is john so much

[@retinas2001]

Lewis' secret goal: to rip out the pages of as many books as he can

[@cosmospire98]

I thought this adventure had peaked at the jack the ripper reveal, but then the king Kong funeral caused me to literally choke on my drink. Every week just makes a new great mystery quest episode!

[@THEKNIGHTOFDAY1]

21:32 i dont comment often but this zinger by tom was just so funny to me as it was basically getting set up by everything happening since the start of the game. Its funny things like this which makes watching interesting.

[@PierceArner]

The visual concept of the Immortal Jason "Jack the Ripper" Statham Ghostbusters Apocalypse is something I can't stop thinking about. Such immaculate craftsman and planning.

[@Kahnabys]

Anytime Simon and Lewis are together in the same room is an absolute joy.

[@Peron1-MC]

yeah i hope they do more PP some day. that was absolute gold :)

[@rocketforthree4479]

One thing that I love about Tom's GMing style which really inspired me, is when he asks other players at the table what things are named. Even players that aren't currently playing can participate in the shared-storytelling and have fun too 😀 Its such a good way to keep everyone interested and having fun.

[@BeastlyTT]

My name is Jingly John! And this is my occultist, detective, gatecrashing, escapist song! Great stuff everyone 😂❤

[@mysterioushiggs]

Even in my head, I still hear the voice while reading this lol

[@josiah6328]

Jingly John lives on in the hearts of us all.

[@erik365365365]

So good. Truly the best

[@DisguisedAsHuman]

I’m Jingly John and this is my liking your comment song.

[@Geothesponge111]

1:51:15 Love that Lewis goes for the "We're just innocent men" reference

[@briddie5996]

when yogs first played everyone is john it was an instant favourite and has remained so for many years. thanks for doing it again!

[@codyunderwood7982]

Is there a video anywhere for the other ones?

[@briddie5996]

@@codyunderwood7982 if you type 'everyone is john yogscast' into youtube it should be a 54 minute long video with a thumbnail of simon laughing. enjoy!

[@tallleprechaun1318]

@@codyunderwood7982 yep, title is "MIND-NUMBING CHAOS | Everyone Is John (Games Night XL)"

[@nicksteele9436]

Getting run over by someone being controlled by a bunch of people playing a board game is pretty believable for Lydia.

[@ThePuddleOfDoom]

Honestly everyone is John with the Longest Johns would be amazing.

[@capt_iron2797]

Thats a Jingle Jam Idea right there lol

[@David-co5oo]

or Everyone is Tom, with an All-Tom cast

[@the_enderslayer]

this and Everyone Is Tom are both hilarious ideas

[@MultiCynicalBastard]

My favorite part of everyone is John is that the Lewis that exists in real life and does ttt every week and the Lewis that plays EiJ are entirely different people

[@tubebubereboot6873]

Technically when they gatecrashed King Kong's funeral, even though Lydia wasn't in control of John, the rules state that you earn points whenever your obsession is met regardless of which personality does it. This is also why I never openly tell players how many points they've earned, but instead write down the scores based on difficulty. Easy is one point, while very hard is three. That way nobody really knows who's winning until the end, though I do make it clear that control is lost after the active player's obsession is met. Also, it's not just that what John is doing is boring which changes control and earns everyone an extra chip, but that the boring action takes at least ten minutes to do, which triggers John's narcolepsy. Since he falls asleep, this gives the game master a bit of wiggle room as to how the next scene starts and how much time has passed.

[@leemcgee5164]

Wait Lewis, Simon, and Tom can still make a video together? I'm shocked ❤

[@fabiansw8]

Awesome grouping here love these guys

[@Cheesepuff8]

The restraining orders were temporarily halted

[@rellikx7519]

First off, damn you really let Lewis into another game of Everyone is John after last time? lol Second, Please keep the Lyds coming she needs to be in every session!

[@Kinross07]

Part of me always wonders how it would work if everyone but the person in control was deafened, alerted when it's time to bid and genuinely have no clue what's going on other than what Tom tells them in that moment.

[@user-py3py5sx2f]

Would be so boring with everyone doing nothing for 4 rounds except tom and the player. Most of the good parts of this come from the entire table joking with each other

[@varied6902]

I love that Lewis immediately goes full Laszlo Cravensworth when asked for the location.

[@Direk091]

Lewis, Simon. Lyds, and Tommy Bates all in a mystery quest. This is gonna be gold!

[@retinas2001]

so simon's force truth skill bascially guarantees him an achievement of his goal if he decides the person is a murderer

[@jt1687]

No, Tom made him roll to see if they were a murderer the first time and forgot the precedent the second time so just said yes. Simon got to decide the details on *how* they were a murderer (Something Tom likes to do when DMing).

[@TheoPhysics495]

No joke, I downloaded this video from my recommended the day before a 12hr flight to California, and literally couldn’t believe it when he said this!!! It’s the first video I’ve ever watched on this channel, and it made the time go so fast 💨 I only had 2 other videos downloaded so I ended up listening to this twice and honestly there is a lot to be gained from the second play through because knowing their obsessions you’re like ‘Ohhhh now I understand their gameplay decision’ 😂

[@barryfraser831]

Simon is great for these because he has no filter and just goes big. And Tom commits so hard.

[@shroomyd.7260]

How was this round even more unhinged than the one where Cthulhu was summoned? My life is fulfilled.

[@dregoth0]

I was not expecting the Eldritch immortal DB Cooper flying into the sky with laser eyes.

[@drummanicman]

"This is why I picked the crazy one." Sat next to the Bristol Pusher. Its all true. It all fits!

[@KericthePally]

Bit of a weird one this, never heard of the game and wasn't sure I'd enjoy it but the team as always delivered and it was really great fun to listen to. Hats off to Lydia though. Such a goddamn trooper so far in these games. That line was absolutely brutal and she took it with the best of humour.

[@MrTuneslol]

I absolutely love how Lewis just absolutely becomes a different person while playing games like this. He becomes impulsive, irrational, frantic, angry, silly, loud, intense, unhinged and willing to do absolutely anything and everything that pops into his mind lol I'm 100% here for it and I hope they do some more in future 😁 ❤❤❤

[@Balsiefen]

Different you say?

[@sierra1513]

Seems pretty in-line for the the Bristol Pusher

[@MrTuneslol]

1:27:10 oh god I felt Lydia's "nice" when Tom rolled a 4 and Papa Angor said "okay fine yes" because she wasn't able to get her funeral with a 4 but for some reason it was enough for Tom bates.... FeelsBadMan And like even if we're talking likelihood... In a massive cemetery: "is there a funeral?" I feel like a 4 is good enough, but "is there a spare coffin lying around" is insane!! 😂😂 Poor Lyds, cucked by whimsy again. Lmao.

[@A_Ereira]

Tbf the Speedburiers living right next to Central Park on a 4 was pretty generous too.

[@PolygonAlley]

Simmons commitment to Ghost shirts still ongoing, and I'm still 100% along for the ride.

[@Jindo1]

I love "St. Showtime: The Patron Saint of Showtime"

[@davidbarry5512]

Having Jason Statham be jack the ripper was brilliant, I once ran a game of this where it turned out bear Grylls was the secret guardian of king Arthurs tomb

[@alexanderstocks4463]

glad to see that lewis hasnt changed a bit, this is the best group

[@ErnestAutist]

This is unhinged, I love it.

[@bitnewt]

I can always trust these folks to make me laugh so hard it hurts; the Jack the Ripper reveal was spectacular.

[@JinglyJohn]

My Name is Jingly John and this is My Mystery Quest Song!

[@Mindflood18]

1:53:45 "We're going to bury him" again. They'll bury him again

[@Elizabuns]

The storytelling is on another level! Got me giggling and the baby was confused.

[@TheVeryLastHippy]

Watching from New York and can confirm, this is EXACTLY what the city is like. I actually work on the corner of 5th and Small way.

[@JohnSmith-ie8ir]

The original Everyone Is John you guys did was so legendarily good; it's one of my absolute favourite videos of all time. Sadly, the couple of ones after that, while fun in their own rights, were not at all on the same level to me. This, however... this is fantastic stuff. Just as good as the first I say, if not better - not least for the sheer length of it. Tom DMing Simon and Lewis to *anything* is proven to be the recipe for perfection by now, but serious props to the surprisingly actually fabulous BigLyds and the naturally unbelievably awkward Tommy B as well. Though I was terribly excited at the announcement for this channel since Day 0, only now have I had the chance to finally catch a video, and I must say, this has really raised the bar unreasonably high for my expectations on the rest of the stuff here.

[@joewatson6178]

Anyone else think the Mystery Quest intro graphics gives major Jackbox Games vibes? I love it!

[@victormirandakoepke8352]

This has been amazing! I love how everyone is John always devolves into such madness

[@benscultmember1236]

As I was watching this, I just imagining this as a film... probably one of those sureal films which are great to watch late at night. 5/5 really good game

[@VanBourner]

I've seen it live and it was great! It may harm the views on youtube but still glad it is here because Twitch VoDs are just trash. Really hope that there will be jinglejam Mystery quest and Games night events. Also really hope to see Sips in one of these. He always was just hilarious in Yogsquests.

[@Graadverg]

I was watching the vod on Twitch and had the refresh the page in the middle because of some issues only for the vod to have been removed. i was so worried I'd miss out on the rest if this adventure! Thank the gods I can finally enjoy the rest of this story!

[@mzjalic324]

I think that was the funniest RPG session I’ve ever seen. Everyone absolutely killed it and I was laughing me as off the whole time!

[@eDWICHt]

Jeez, this was the best kind of hilarios mayhem! Thanks so much, guys! PS: I love Tom's fast & loose on-the-fly GM-ing style.

[@GamerX13X]

As soon as Tom said that they hadn't quite had a game like this, I immediately remembered when Lewis summoned Cthulhu.

[@MrSpazbomb]

For someone who loves to browse TTRPGs I’ll never play this channel is a gold mine. Maybe Troika! or Spire someday?

[@RandomBoxOfWeird]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: This video is one of the funniest things I've ever seen

[@dsungaripterus2600]

This was amazing to watch live, glad to see it uploaded here.

[@Murphysmadmishboro44]

Where are the lives?

[@Vital_Velocity]

​@@Murphysmadmishboro44It was on the Yogscast Twitch originally.

[@dsungaripterus2600]

@@Murphysmadmishboro44 This one was live on the Yogscast Twitch channel; they aren't usually, this was a one-off live episode for Pickaxe Week.

[@RadicalLynx]

Lewis is a maniac with the freedom this game's/Tom's "yes,and" storytelling gives him 😂 Really happy to see this video after missing the stream. I'd love to know how the analytics react to something long like this vs maybe two shorter videos Friday-Saturday

[@marcusmues]

I really like this game - the bonkers scenarios are absolutely hilarious. I think my first exposure to it was when Tom led an "Everyone is Santa" variant during Jingle Jam last year, which would be great to see again!

[@noctusdoesthings]

This game is always fun. My favorite story of it was the traveler who stopped a terror attack.

[@mr.incognito9100]

Lydia and Tom seem to be wearing the same clothes as in the Parasocial video where they went to the cafe and listened to the girl saying "He said he liked skinny girls". I wonder which video was recorded first

[@StephenPreston]

I prefer the skinny ones that was savage AF

[@60612Mac]

I have to go back and do my yearly rewatch of the original now!

[@leftnutlarry24]

Rest in peace King Kong

[@kaylakayteal7294]

Everyone is John is always such a fever dream. (also, that intro almost perfectly described me as I'm sat here with a drink in my hand and a cat on my lap. I sure hope this is a mystery quest).

[@realfangplays]

I've watched it already on Twitch but just wanted to say I really enjoyed it.

[@tylorbowell9627]

Lewis really knows how to end off a video. I love Everyone Is John it brings the madness out of people.

[@TheSebastianLeFay]

Can't remember when I last laughed this much. I need more of Everyone is John.

[@spaceshiplewis]

Looks like the Bristol Pusher has come to NYC.

[@ianalvord3903]

Lydia just keeps coming back! She just can't get enough.

[@ItsOver900O]

I literally cried laughing at the king kong part

[@raafmaat]

a video with Lewis AND simon? this is a miracle!

[@ieyke]

So this game definitively starts with John crashing in Columbus Circle. The only place where Broadway has Central Park on one side and a cocktail bar on the other.

[@kellston6358]

RPing Yogs is always my favourite Yogs. Tom is an awesome GM as always and Lydia has been particularly brilliant on this channel, great stuff!

[@nonurbeeswax6123]

so weve had summoning cthulu, butchering dolphins to make makeshift bows, breaking into the vatican as santa and now a satanic rampage through new york. Yogscast playing everyone is john is a treat everytime

[@BigLargeExtraDel]

Fucking hell gotta love when Lewis is in stuff like this

[@VideoSage]

This went, so off the rails. Definitly can't take the supernatural out of Tom.... And I'm glad that is the case.

[@Racald]

This is indeed a Mystery Quest!

[@JohanFaerie]

I love Everyone is John, this will be a treat!

[@jackmcdonald5918]

Genuinely incredible stuff going on here, every character made me laugh

[@paracelsus2958]

Holy shit I can't believe they're playing this again. I loved the video so much. Hoping someone summons an eldritch entity again.

[@islanddryad]

TOM STOP! OMG! I literally sat down to watch this vid with a cup of cold water in hand and my cat Mittens (yes, that is legit his name) is chilling with me in my room. This intro has legit spooked me now 🤣

[@riverseverywhere]

For the record, the Empire State building lift is actually super fast, and made of glass. It's very Willy Wonka vibes, that one scene in the tunnel in the old version. Takes less than 60 seconds to get to the top

[@joshbailey872]

Lewis telling me to fuck off at the end of the video was really the icing on the cake. Loved this

[@Dewario]

Glorious praise to Mystery Quest!

[@TheFaulkned]

Now we know how jinggly john met his maker... Jason Statham

[@Rob-ob]

That was one of the things I’ve ever watched. I can’t believe I missed all the rich foreshadowing, it’s so obvious in hindsight😂

[@andrewrobinson4019]

Man, I'd love to see Mystery Quest play Paranoia--it would be so stinkin' funny.

[@DjDolHaus86]

The risk with inviting Lewis to role playing is that the role he might play is Lewis

[@robparfrey642]

I completely forgot about this game but reading the title gave me such flashbacks from years ago when you previously played this with Lewis and Simon and maybe sips? I cant remember if there were other people.

[@mpbiggame1010]

1:46:58 i love this kind of flashback humor so much 😂 What a perfect timing on Tom's part

[@dinner870]

a two hour evolution of the Bristol pusher 10/10

[@Stanehable]

very chaotic. very cool

[@RiisQueU]

Amazing, so much fun to watch! Please keep it up ^^

[@teodorapetkovic]

Excellent timing for an Everyone Is John, I just yesterday stumbled across you guys' Everyone Is Santa and bloody loved it!!!

[@ScapinGames]

ITS BEEN YEARS, EVERYONE IS JOHN IS BACK BABYYYY

[@DEthan-]

I loved this when you ran a game for the jingle jam way back when! Lewis' and simon's "victories" still live rent free in my head! *This is a comment, for the Angorythm*