Everyone On Reddit Needs Help

[@DustinPoynterVideos]

FOLKS! If you’re struggling, click betterhelp.com/dustinpoynter for a discount on your first month of therapy with today's sponsor BetterHelp.

[@Romanticoutlaw]

please consider looking more into betterhelp. They're pretty disreputable and tbh I wouldn't recommend them to an audience.

[@insertnamehere6191]

Better help is not a good look, you should do research into the many controversies they've been sued for like selling client information to third parties and hiring unlicensed therapists while using real therapists contact information to get people onto their site.

[@feraltaco4783]

So glad you're still with us brother! Proud of you for all the work you've put into being your best you. 😻 💜 😻

[@jorijoestar4998]

Please note, Better help is a scam. Do some research before signing up and giving them your personal information.

[@WilliamBrowning]

Stop taking sponsorship from companies that abuse your audience's trust. Better Help is bad.

[@hrgirl26]

I'm saying this as a licensed therapist: impersonating a therapist has SERIOUS legal consequences. She can be prosecuted. I would report her to the state board.

[@iole96792]

Yes!!!! That was a horrible "prank" they messed with his head and his heart. The "therapist" needs to be prosecuted. Not funny. I hope he left her too.

[@mamamua4644]

That’s like posing as a medical doctor or a lawyer- there’s a reason you can’t go around saying you’re a cop or something. Lol I would absolutely report her!!

[@KansasCityScientologyAudit]

^^^ THIS! Report immediately!

[@biancat7761]

I think it’s fake

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

Absolutely! And for good reason; that poor guy will have trouble ever trusting a therapist again.

[@vlogmenchacainfantil7541]

As a psychology student, I found the therapy story SO HORRIBLE. That guy didn't even liked therapy to begin with, now probably he'll reject going to therapy ever again

[@dangerxbadger2300]

Which is super sad because so many men really need professional help to process and heal from all they endure just as a natural byproduct of being socialized as an individual who is assigned male at birth; so much shame and hurt and repression that almost no one could ever fathom to untangle on their own. I genuinely hope he gives it a second chance and finds someone who can really help him, bc I almost guarantee someone who would put him through what Emma did has likely traumatized him in other ways as well. 😢

[@johndoe1274]

@@dangerxbadger2300 This is why as a society we need to start disintegrating the idea that men showing emotions, being vulnerable, not making more money than their partner, not being absurdly muscular, and not having immense charisma is a sign of weakness. I suffered these ideas all throughout childhood, adding onto that I wasn't very sporty, quite nerdy (however tech smart), and my social circle was very small. Yet, I was on the short end of the stick in regards to jokes quite a lot and girls only "flirted" with me as a joke. You're probably wondering where these same asshats are at, let's just say they're not going to be achieving any position in cybersecurity any time soon.

[@turtleduck2085]

2nd Story: Dude has been gas lit so bad he's questioning whether it was okay for him to be angry at being gas lit.

[@FifiR3]

FR😮

[@Elvamp]

gaslighting at its finest

[@maryjane4432]

He ended breaking up with her, contacting a lawyer about what’s her name acting as a therapist. I know on Reddit they asked if they ever paid for therapy, He could also sue for the money, emotional damages etc. but Lilly can face time in prison

[@midnightfirefox5767]

​@@maryjane4432 Can you send a link please, I wanna see this.

[@mtclauraamaral2201]

​@@maryjane4432honestly hope she does. Playing with people's head and emotions is no joke. When you put yourself in a place to go to therapy you need to trust the therapist and their expertise. When you do and it's just a fake, furthermore who's gaslighting and manipulating you... It's infuriating! I'm a health professional and this angries me beyond belief.

[@trisha7976]

What Lilly did was a felony. Therapist are licensed medical professionals. Impersonating one is a crime. He could have her arrested. I don't know if the gf could be charged with aiding her.

[@bearswithglasses]

I certainly think it's worth getting a lawyer to find out.

[@trisha7976]

@@bearswithglasses I don't know if you would even have to pay an attorney. I think if you had some proof, maybe texting asking for an apology. If she admitted doing it you may be able to just swear out a warrant yourself. I guess if you could afford an attorney you may should go that route. 🤗

[@ontheline3421]

At least in my country if you hire (with money, blackmail or even "we're friends come on") someone to do the crime you are charged with that crime. Meaning if you tell your brother to kill your husband and he does - you're going to jail for a murder exactly same as that brother of yours. Not sure about US tho

[@trisha7976]

@@ontheline3421 We in the US also have that law. If you're robbing a bank with someone else and they kill someone you're charged with murder. It doesn't matter if you knew they were going to do it or not. Where do you live?

[@ontheline3421]

@@trisha7976 I don't think you'd be charged for that murder unless you suggested it, carried a gun or in other way showed you want it to. As far as I know they would have to proof that you intended to kill too or took part in preparing it or you'd be charged to the level of your intention, e.g. if you thought you're "just" doing the robbery. I was speaking about a situation when you ask someone to do something and they go commit a crime while you watch tv. Poland

[@anakaliaeastwood]

So...she hid the notes where his mom would pretty much HAVE to snoop to see them, and his biggest concern is the impression she's making on his mom. What a keeper! 🙄 Lilly and Emma both need to be slapped. No overreaction here. What's really sad is there are plenty of licensed therapists who conduct themselves in that manner.

[@jediping]

Reminded me strongly of the reports of how Jodi Hildebrandt (sp?) did “therapy” with the Frankes and others. Major ick.

[@PlagueRavenRX]

These momma's boys have so much adulting to do.

[@AmazingAutist]

Lily needs to actually go to jail, because impersonating a therapist is a crime.

[@CorgiDaddy2]

@@jediping RIGHT? I thought the same exact thing. And she thinks she's done nothing wrong TO THIS DAY.

[@extrovertedintrovert2900]

A therapist would've pointed out all of Emma's problems, but of course she couldn't have that

[@eliza6971]

*PSA:* if a toilet bowl is clogged and filling with water, immediately take the heavy porcelain lid off the tank and close the big round valve at the bottom of the tank to stop the water flow instantly. If you give it a minute, the water might go down enough to plunge it without getting anything on the floor. If it persists, even after plunging, go out and get some draino. As the daughter of a handy man, I’ve unclogged many a toilet without getting anything on the floor and I can’t emphasize enough how much you need to close that valve if the water is rising

[@princerex9790]

Ma'am, I think this is gonna save my life someday, thank you for your wisdom 🫡

[@QueenZinnia707]

Please don't put Drano into a toilet! Drano contains caustic chemicals that can severely burn your skin. Toilets are splashy things. It's safe to use Drano in a sink, but please not in a toilet. The Drano label states that it is not to be used in a toilet. Clogs that are not resolved by plunging are usually solvable with a toilet snake. Good luck and be safe out there!

[@Kristy-x1t]

Thank you so much!!!! Because when you see that water rising it's instant TERROR!!!!😂

[@lorimiller4301]

Also if you're going to plunge you have to do it quickly and forcefully. Sometimes a number of times but plungers work if you know how to use them. 🥵 You have to push really hard. Getting comfortable with a plunger is a skill plus you need strong arms but it does work. Best of luck to those who need it.

[@eliza6971]

@@lorimiller4301 I like to get the rubber part under the water slowly/gently to prevent splash back but yeah, once it’s in place you can’t be too gentle or you’re just wasting energy

[@pibbles9]

That therapy one is a horrible thing to do to someone. And a great way to make your partner lose trust in you.

[@lynnm6413]

Run, Baby, run….the poor guy, honestly!

[@selinesbeau]

I'm also pretty sure that in some places it's illegal.

[@ABirdWithNoName]

@@selinesbeau I wanted to say this as well. Impersonating a medical professional could potentially be a crime. It also has questionable motives and goals.

[@deborahosborne9426]

This is against The Law in the UK 🇬🇧. What utter mean girl. Control him? Run man, run.

[@PlagueRavenRX]

"Lose trust" is an understatement. I'd be out of there so fast that I'd leave skid marks.

[@MrsShocoTaco]

"I never meant to hurt you." doesn't pair well with giggling and scoffing over having "pulled it off for so long."

[@KatieVanHelsing]

I went to and have been in therapy for over 30 years. It saved my life and helps so much. The therapy story INFURIATED me. Also. Sue. Sue. Not only is this unethical, THIS IS DANGEROUS! This is psychological manipulation. Get away from Emma NOW!! Never, ever give her a second chance.

[@CorgiDaddy2]

It's also illegal and should be reported to ALL the authorities.

[@Cowboy_Frog]

Charges would be better than suing.

[@MadisonEstes]

​@@Cowboy_FrogHe should do both imo. Criminal charges and then sue for personal damages so he can get free real therapy which he would need to deal with trust issues that would logically develop. Once the friend (and hopefully the gf too) are convicted, winning a personal lawsuit would be a piece of cake.

[@icarusbinns3156]

The first time I (reluctantly) went to a therapist, at 14, I just sat in silence for 45 minutes. The next week, the woman suggested a card game. It took a full four weeks to get me to start talking. Twenty years and seven therapists later, and I’m actually doing pretty well!

[@anainesgonzalez8868]

Yes

[@gypsyjengypsydogs9320]

That poor girl in the last story. She must have been absolutely humiliated. I would be mortified.

[@Fragmented_Mask]

Yeah I felt so bad for her. I have awful IBS and could totally see myself in this kind of situation, although I would probably have asked for help earlier honestly. Any dude who ends up with me is going to have to deal with this a lot so I guess I'd find out if they could be chill about it haha

[@littlemisstink921]

As a 41 year old…I would have moved states and changed my name and number. “Tinkerwho? Sorry. I don’t know anyone with that name.”

[@llareia]

I think it's normal to be embarrassed, especially if she let it get this out of hand, but honestly ladies we need to stop being embarrassed by our bodily functions. I feel like every woman needs to be handed a copy of "Everybody Poops" when she turns 16.

[@le3_r0se]

@@littlemisstink921 im so sorry i kept reading ur user as little miss stink T.T

[@littlemisstink921]

@@le3_r0se Don’t hate it. 😂😂

[@CormDaCrow]

Just a heads up dude Better Help is absolutely terrible. They got into trouble a few year ago for stuff like having therapists who weren't actually qualified, who didn't show up for their sessions adb who were overall just terrible at there jobs and from what I've heard they haven't improved much

[@olofskivarp]

Yeah, I'm surprised people still accept them as sponsors Either they don't care, or better help has changed or they don't do any research before accepting sponsors I hope it's not the 1st because generally it's youtubers singing praises to therapy, I doubt it's the 2nd, I'm ok with the 3rd but it's still disappointing and it could hurt people if it's still bad

[@lamppuu1]

They sold patients private data for advertising purposes.. I'd say that's pretty bad, taking advantage of ill people who are just trying to get help.. that's fkd up if you ask me.

[@genghiscan2918]

The reason they have unqualified therapists is because theyre terrible employers who ran off qualified help.

[@Marzamapan]

They are also owned by Facebook and sell your information

[@kierstenburtz8442]

Just came here to say this. I actually had personal bad experiences with them on top of all the controversy. They're bad news. I'm really hoping he just wasn't aware.

[@ferretshepherd6742]

'...I feel like I've been lied to & gaslit for months...' Probably because you were lied to & gaslit for months.

[@feraltaco4783]

That first one. GIRL RUN!!! You're gonna end up sharing your marital bed with his mom.

[@CorgiDaddy2]

Ewwwww

[@laurab5750]

My notes would have been more to the point "Butt out and mind your own business, you crazy harpy!" I sure as hell wouldn't have let my fiance tell me to just let her snoop!

[@feraltaco4783]

@@laurab5750 Harpy. I just love using that word. I'm with you. My notes would have been quite interesting. "Why is she going to through my things like an unhinged lunatic?" Would be the first and nicest one.

[@feraltaco4783]

@@CorgiDaddy2 think about it. He can't be away from his mommy at night. He might need her. F'ing weirdos man.

[@KC-ip3uz]

I would have left all kind of sex toys for her to find. Once she found the gimp suit and ball gag, she would have scared to open the fork drawer……

[@kimy656]

Omw, that last girl. I probably would've wanted to run away in the moment, too, if my anxiety completely took over. The embarrassment and shame would've been too much to handle. Not that it's okay to leave a mess behind, but I understand the feeling. Hopefully it becomes a crazy dating story they can share with their kids one day if that's where they end up.

[@thedepthandbreadthofseth]

People misuse this term, but tricking someone into seeing a fake therapist is gaslighting!

[@GoldenMediaGirl]

Agreed. That was very manipulative. Abusing his trust to turn him into a "better boyfriend" for herself? Run.

[@Gorzaza]

Yup, creating actual fake scenarios is the most extreme form of it ... Absolutely applies to this case, agree.

[@misterwinkybluff]

I think you’re “overacting” LOL 🙃

[@10000_depth_worm]

Pretty sure you're the one misusing the word. Gaslightning would be she denying she was the one suggesting therapy or that it was even therapy or that she had told him that the therapist wasn't a therapist. Gaslightning means denying the reality of the events that happened.

[@faeriefire78]

There wasn't a fake therapist story in this video though.

[@reframingwiththerhythm]

Hopefully the irony in the connection with BetterHelp and the story you covered right after with “impersonating a therapist” can help to reach them and shift towards making positive adjustments towards equally accessible and fully just therapy, healthcare services overall! All for one and one for all, sending good vibes to everyone, and thank you for being here too, Dustin! ❤️‍🔥🧿💯✨🙏

[@justinuwusoftboi]

Hey, just gonna add on to others saying to please not take sponsorship with Betterhelp, and please do research on sponsorships in the future before taking them. I know you gotta get that bag and part of having a career on KZbin is taking sponsorships, but Betterhelp is an actively harmful sponsorship. They do not fully vet their therapists, and say it is actually the clients responsibility to decide if a therapist is qualified or not. They exploit therapists on the platform by incentivising them to overwork themselves for pay. People often are matched with incompatible therapists to an incompetent degree (ie. matching a queer person with someone who believes in conversion therapy). And to top this all off, they were recently sued and heavily fined by the FTC for selling private health information for advertising. Things as sensitive as peoples diagnosis, gender identities, and sexualities. Betterhelp has been shunned off the platform before, and it's sad to slowly see them creep back in. There is actual ways online to receive telehealth therapy with qualified therapists that meet full confidentiality requirements, and unlike Betterhelp, will also take insurance. I really like your videos and I hope you don't take Betterhelp sponsorships in the future. :(

[@videoettaceo8900]

Amen! I experienced abuse from their weird customer service person when I tried to cancel for a refund after 3 different therapists were no-shows.

[@musicftw711]

Added on to that, better help refused me services when I answered that I struggle with suicidal ideation on the quiz. No resources or help. Ironically, that caused me to have an episode of suicidal ideation thinking “I’m such a failure, even therapists won’t take me as a client.”

[@joannabartocha1815]

Up up up 😢

[@buizenpost]

Isn't it ironic, that in one of the stories in this video someone was posing as a therapist as well?

[@fairanderung7207]

this!!!!

[@TheStitchpanda]

BetterHelp has gone under lawsuit for it's poor practices, please do not feed them with more vulnerable people

[@bcpr9812]

The fake therapist one is soooo messed up. That would make the relationship irreparable, for me. All trust would be gone. I'd dump her ass right then and there, and report them to the police and/or a regulatory body for the scheme, because Lilly isn't a licensed therapist yet was practicing like she was one.

[@CorgiDaddy2]

Yes. She should be reported to the board for this even if she isn't a therapist. She might be majoring in therapeutic services and would be stopped from even being able to take the exam.

[@bcpr9812]

@@CorgiDaddy2 yes! I hadn't thought of that. It's a major ethics violation.

[@johndoe1274]

@@CorgiDaddy2 You can probably also report the fiance for accessory to committing a crime since she knew about it and most likely greenlit the entire thing.

[@stephanieg6507]

A big red flag for the better help ad. Especially with that story about 'therapy' right after

[@blipblop1806]

Do NOT associate with Better Help at all. They are very bad and it'd be quite good to look up all their controversies before signing on with them as sponsor.

[@MrBobbyMan]

And maybe you should look at the more recent news.

[@Norinia]

@@MrBobbyManThey admitted this stuff. I don’t care if they supposedly have done better since, Mental Health is NOT something you risk with a ‘second chance’ to a proven shady ass company.

[@MrBobbyMan]

​@@Norinia en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BetterHelp#Alleged_misuse_of_customer_data_and_FTC_settlement Read all of it, then tell me that again.

[@pieceofshoot]

he knows

[@SirBroadcast]

​@@MrBobbyMan they're just sorry they got caught.

[@catfood233]

4:13 better help is actually a very controversial thing. The therapists some of them aren’t properly trained. Please DO NOT use better help and contact a licensed therapist. They also sell their information online.

[@laferrari3027]

Wow, the second story had me livid! That guy’s gonna need therapy for the “therapy”. That’s the kind of stuff that sticks with people for years. Abhorrent stuff, and I hope he’s in a better place now.

[@feraltaco4783]

He may be reluctant to get real therapy now. This chick sucks.

[@robingray5037]

Agreed! That poor man! I hope he's able to heal and find someone who isn't manipulative.

[@rebeccat7912]

I’m pretty sure it’s also illegal??? Impersonating a licensed medical professional is illegal in most places, if not all!!

[@CorgiDaddy2]

I wouldn't blame him if he never stepped into a therapist's office again. I wouldn't recommend that but I'd understand it and would probably not go either. Luckily, almost all of my therapists have been angels and the ones who weren't perfect angels were nowhere near as bad as that fake therapist. This is so much more harmful than impersonating and officer or doctor (altho, screw people for risking others' health because they couldn't make it thru med school).

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

Plus it's illegal. He needs to report the both of them. It's disgusting!

[@koreydanslemaison6275]

oh dustin not the betterhelp sponsor 😭

[@videosofhubris]

Hey better help is actually a really bad service to rep, they dont even check every therapist is properly licensed

[@thatroguescholar]

Found it lol. This^

[@frogonwall]

Thank you, I came to say the same thing

[@jenelaina5665]

Haven't gotten to this point in the video but aw man boo

[@GeorgieB1965]

Money is money sometimes. But even bad therapy is better than no therapy.

[@lizzyblitz07]

I literally said "noooo!" out-loud as he started the ad

[@catbatrat1760]

9:57 What does that mean, "they thought he wouldn't agree to therapy otherwise"? He agreed to this without knowing it was some messed up prank; why wouldn't he agree to actual therapy? That just doesn't make sense.

[@owenleynes7086]

If I was the dude in the therapy story I would've broken up at that party right after I found out, massive breach of trust and getting gaslit for months is insane, hell the fuck no

[@Kristy-x1t]

It's SO emotionally manipulative. He dodged a bullet🙏. She'd be a wife you're never able to divorce..

[@rustyhowe3907]

@@Kristy-x1t Oh gosh imagine if they had kids.

[@porcelain_fruit806]

Just started watching this channel, but nooooo not better health pleaseeee😢 broke my heart to see that part both cuz of your circumstances and cuz it was a better health ad :(

[@MoonlitWyvernx]

I would reconsider using better help as a sponsor. They were caught selling private medical information to advertisers and have a poor reputation.

[@ColdCreekB]

KZbin creators don’t care. It’s all about the money. Mr. Ballen is still actively and consistently shilling for them too. Kendall Rae has too, even after she talked about all the issues with them. You can always identify the money-grubbing KZbinrs by their BetterHelp sponsorships.

[@TheLazyToast]

+

[@totallynotpakka]

THIS IS SO REAL!!! i was about to comment about this exact thing myself. i used betterhelp before i was aware about the data being sold and i had a mediocre time with it. my therapist was nice, yes, but she never truly helped me like a therapist should. she would've been a great friend to have, but not a great therapist. it's also VERY expensive!!!!! like $300 a month!!! it was insanely expensive!!! edit: btw this all happened this year. i finally got a new therapist back in august and i haven't looked back

[@deborahosborne9426]

Sure you're not mixing up with BetterUp. That's the Company that's hit the headlines for how badly it treats it's staff and therapists.

[@majormushu]

The best thing to do is just spread the info in the comments. KZbin creators cant be too picky when it comes to sponsorships most of the time as they need to pay their bills and most of them arent making a ton from the regular youtube ads. There is a reason you see a lot of the same sponsors across youtube

[@NDJunction]

I do not recommend betterhelp, man. Youre such a wonderful, beautiful, amazing spirit of a man and i think MOST of us would rather talk to YOU than a lot of the "therapist" they do not properly weed through and check in on. Yes, we're all human and make mistakes, but I am under the impression that the website runners do not treat their employees with dignity or respect or SOMETHING and they kinda take it out on any client using the platform

[@kirstenirwin9084]

The best friend of the OP in the first story sounds like a good one! A friend who is willing to help you find a funny way to cope with and possibly drop some hints to a snooping future mother-in-law that she needs to back off is one you keep for life!

[@MsNeonDion]

Uh... NO.. That's a bad friend.. A good friend would tell them to get actual therapy and would tell you to man up and drop him if that's what she wanted.. However she didn't want to lose him, she wanted him to be the way she wanted,,, This is absolutory appalling what her and her friends did to him. A funny way to gaslight someone into believing they are the problem, not funny at all.

[@thenarrator6846]

​@@MsNeonDion dude, that's not even what they're talking about. They're talking about the person the OP of the first story wrote the notes with You're talking about the second story which has nothing to do with the first

[@chuckwagon3718]

​@@MsNeonDion maybe read the comment you're responding to before popping off

[@CorgiDaddy2]

@@MsNeonDion That comes after the fun. It's good to blow off steam in a healthy way while dealing with a crisis.

[@emirom2]

⁠​⁠​⁠@@MsNeonDionShe’s referring to the snooping mother in-law story. Not the one you’re talking about.

[@TheOriginalFoxtrotCharlie]

My ex mother law went through all my drawers while I was in hospital giving birth to my first child and threw out half my things. My treasures, memories, things I'd kept from childhood. She also remodelled my entire kitchen and changed all the cupboards around and threw out things there as well. My house was never my house .. it was hers. They had a key. They would show up at 5am when I was 8 months pregnant and make me get out of bed for being lazy. If I tried to leave the house ( I didn't drive but I'd try to for walks) they would stop me. I had them both chase me down the street in their car and basically force me back in the car with my baby son ( no seatbelt) to take me back home. Their son, my husband, was even worse. I'm lucky I escaped with my life to be honest and my 2 children and I live far away from all of them and are happy and safe. Please be careful everyone and look after yourselves

[@donabeth4561]

Oh wow 😮 sorry you had to through that 😢

[@TheOriginalFoxtrotCharlie]

@@donabeth4561 its alright ♥️ thank you 🙏🌹 It made me who I am now and made me stronger. I always try look for the good in every bad situation and after going through that I'm just grateful I have my 2 beautiful children 😊 I'd do it all again for them.

[@TheOfficialTarynTots]

That therapy thing was such bull. How could he possibly trust Emma ever again?!? She wasn't remorseful. He even caught her laughing about it.

[@JulezwithTrueCrimeReactions]

Better Help is a scam and have been exposed multiple times. You should do research before taking a sponsorship. I was approached and said NO bc Im not gonna point my viewers in the wrong direction.

[@CorgiDaddy2]

I bet Dustin never makes that mistake again. We're all running thru the park with our giant red flags.

[@zerotodona1495]

People need to get paid. It’s not his fault if stupid people don’t research.

[@Solitude11-11]

⁠@@zerotodona1495So are you saying he didn’t research them, aka stupid, or he did research them, knows they are shady but doesn’t care because it’s not his problem if his viewers get scammed or worse? Hm. Either way, not a good look?

[@PlagueDoktore]

I don't mind him taking their money

[@PlagueDoktore]

​@@Solitude11-11 huh? He's saying neither

[@boglarkabaksay3523]

My guy is casually letting his mum violate his partner’s personal space and privacy. The notes are hilarious but mama’s boy needs to take a long hard look at himself, otherwise he needs to go.

[@Boredchinchilla]

I would be leaving furry porn and brochures for swingers resorts out if my MIL went through my stuff (hell, I would do that if my own mom went through my stuff). I also wouldn’t move in with a man who was that attached to his mom- let her keep him

[@ClownHoundII]

​@Boredchinchilla My mom used to snoop like crazy. Pick up every paper to read it, hold any art project to ask it's meaning and worst of all she'd "put away clothes" by rearranging my dressers and closet while I'm at work. I bought skimpy panties and a bottle of lube to get her to stop. Came home to my mom all embarrassed holding my laundry saying she "found things of mine" and told me to put up the clothes. Mom finally stopped snooping after that

[@WobblesandBean]

​@@ClownHoundII My mom found my birth control pills. I was 24. Didn't stop her snooping, just led her to scream at me until she was hoarse when I came back from class.

[@denblakat9243]

I do get what is being said here, but, as someone who has spent years untangling myself from an enmeshed relationship with my emotionally immature mother (and still am, as well as working on the ways it affected me and my mental health in therapy) - could we stop acting as though it's an easy thing to do? The mother is snooping, and it didn't sound like he was surprised. So, potentially, he's never, effectively, had any privacy. May not know what it's like to set boundaries and have those be respected. And could be used to managing his mother's emotions before even acknowledging his own. I'm not saying that women have to be men's therapists in untangling toxic relationships with their parents, that would be an extension of the patriarchic expectations set on us already, and I wouldn't expect a potential partner of mine to do that. But I hope that a potential partner would be willing to support me in navigating it and also just - help me. Encourage me to stick by a boundary that I've tried to set. Confirm that it's not okay, and that not letting it go isn't being unfair or a drama queen

[@ThePsychicClarinetist]

​@@Boredchinchilla As a furry who's not into furry porn, I would genuinely do that as a deterrent too, that's hilarious. 😂

[@dianakosianka5344]

1:39 - or maybe OP's boyfriend has an abusive and controlling mother, and he's afraid she'd hurt them somehow? It's hard to navigate abusers like that woman, and I don’t like when people brush the issue of controlling and abusive parents like it's solely the problem of the child they're controlling and not the parents themselves. Maybe OP and boyfriend should confront the mother TOGETHER, to show they're a united front.

[@RavenSutcliffe]

The problem is that the fiance (not boyfriend) is entirely refusing to confront her in any way, even going so far as to defend the behavior and insisting OP should accommodate the mother's snooping and such. So even if he's being abused and not just a Mama's boy, I'm not sure how they'd go about confronting the mother together when it seems like the reverse is happening

[@zxwar1111]

Yeah my friend's mother was like that but worse he snapped and left he now lives with me at my grandmother's house😊

[@wrexvincent]

The IRONY of the therapy story after the BetterHelp ad read...........

[@BeezerGutlr]

How the mighty have fallen.

[@SessVlogs]

Came here to say exactly this!

[@papaaquchala8460]

Thank God I'm not the only one who noticed

[@seshthecat]

​@@BeezerGutlr people get stuck in contracts. He most likely has no choice or pay a massive fine.

[@jackiedoesntcare]

​@@seshthecatnot true, you just forfeit the money if you don't do the videos

[@FM-jo1jh]

I'm surprised to see content creators still promoting better help even though many, many people who needed help said it was a scam....

[@codymartin6117]

I have been married 27 years this Halloween. This summer my husband got into a bunch of ticks and I was on my knees picking ticks off his junk. Life is a mess full of blood poop ect.Make sure you get the into the fox hole with someone that won't care.

[@grmpEqweer]

You could say he 'ticked' all the right boxes for you...

[@codymartin6117]

@@grmpEqweer Don't quit your day job😂

[@aelwynwitch9460]

Omg. That's hilarious. That's just how it goes, eh? My poor partner has to deal my health crap all the time. We were acquaintances/friends for 7 years then started dating a year after my marriage ended (before dating he took me for therapy, to doc appts--I'm disabled--helped me with groceries and expected nothing in return). Now we both help each other deal with tge others' issues bc physically caring for ppl is both of our love languages. I brush his hair and take care of his skin. He gets to deal with vomit and poop. Poor guy.

[@codymartin6117]

@@aelwynwitch9460 That's what real love looks like. Not fake .Real life is messy!!!!

[@danakchampion]

@@aelwynwitch9460 Thank you for sharing, that really gives me hope. I struggle with chronic illness too and I wonder if I'll ever find a partner, roommate or friend that's really willing to be in the trenches with me. So far my experience has been that I handle it best alone.

[@amandasmith7314]

That fake therapist this is a rotten thing! If that person were truly interested in improving her boyfriend then they would have gone to a real therapist. She was just long game manipulating him into being what she wanted.

[@fifteendozenalleyroses]

the irony of the fake therapist story after the better help ad

[@TheOfficialTarynTots]

The last story, they will be telling their Grandkids about the crappy incident one day.

[@CorgiDaddy2]

Yeah, I predict that they will grow old together.

[@TheReluctantVlogger]

I understand that she would be extremely embarrassed about that, but damn chick, at least have the decency to not leave him with your literal shit to clean up. Grow up. Everyone poops for Christ sake. She should’ve just come out and said she made a big mess and to just please leave her to clean it up and it’ll be fine.

[@rustyhowe3907]

@@TheReluctantVlogger THIS! Sometimes you just have to take the embarrassment to settle the fallout...pun wasn't intended but it's staying.

[@razor57.]

I feel bad to tell you, but better help isn't actually a good therapy/therapist finder. They have therapists that aren't actually on there being advertised,You don't need to be licensed to be a therapist on better help to give people advice and they take more then half the pay from the ones that are actually on there.

[@jessicapearson9479]

I understand that counseling can help others. However, DO NOT USE BETTER HELP! they are NOT licensed and the 3 counselors I had didn't even go to college to learn how to be a real counselor! I also found out that they were selling my information and even called CPS on me just because I was depressed and have PTSD.

[@CorgiDaddy2]

Cheeses H Krisp that is terrible. Thanks for sharing your personal experience as to how BH is so harmful that they should be put out of business.

[@SomeoneIusedtoknow-s1f]

When was this? Now as of 2024 they're claiming all therapists must prove their license.

[@AuDHD_Mom]

So, before I was diagnosed with AuDHD, there would be days where something like a clogged toilet would send me into total feral-animal-in-a-cage level of panic. I didn't know about overstimulation, and meltdowns. So when I had a meltdown, the embarrassment of my response would send me to dark, dark places. I love how the last story turned out. I wish that couple luck, and hope she learns to stop running. Life gets better with good therapy.

[@nininoona]

The Second Story: what the friend did, posing as a therapist, is actually a crime. They can be charged with Practicing Medicine without a license fraudulent representation of a professional.

[@sorenlandfall9629]

Isn't Better Help going through legal issues over their vetting process for therapists? I've heard only horror stories about them... Not hating the hustle, get that sponsorship money, but it's starting to become a rarity for content creators to vet their sponsors.

[@aquachonk]

Occasionally, my mouth drops open so far in shock that my tongue dries out a little. Emma was one of those times.

[@CorgiDaddy2]

I started getting a raging headache and started seeing read, I was so angry.

[@dangerxbadger2300]

Same

[@NightsDecent]

Same. That story is just insane. Sounds like something Charles Manson would do.

[@WobblesandBean]

Imagine being the red flag guy for fake therapy, and then sponsoring BetterHelp. The irony is palpable.

[@kasmith54]

10:25 A white lie?! Nah! She was emotionally abusing him!

[@Hazels_Dream]

Exactly, white lies are fibs that are supposed to make someone feel good. If anything, they need to be broken up yesterday!

[@rabidphantomfan]

I legit thought the second one was gonna turn out to be a better help story

[@PramkLuna]

Second story has legal ramifications and is just cruel

[@leslieedwards6011]

4:56 I'm proud of you 👏 That is incredible. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@TimothyWenger]

Green flag guy showing the biggest of green flags

[@samnoon7743]

Flag Guy doesn’t only bring a smile to my face, but Dustin also touches hearts 💜

[@maryschade1906]

What Lily did was actually illegal and the man should press charges.

[@omarabrody5469]

The therapy one is God awful. The level of gaslighting is astonishing, how dare she? Instant breakup.

[@heatherlowe7330]

He should definitely drop her!

[@keekers]

Move boyfriend out. Don't make his mother a mother in law. It's a good thing that most of his stuff is still out of your house. You can do better. Have him move out.

[@willowwisped5027]

betterhelp is NOT a sponsor to be taking, man.

[@bunycat]

Why?

[@IncognitoCheeseSlice]

​@bunycat uncertified therapists, unprofessional therapists, illegal selling and giving of confidential client information, among many other things. Everyone and anyone should have access to therapy, and therapists they can trust; betterhelp is NOT the place to look for or find that.

[@daniellecollier7276]

​@@bunycat came here to ask that. Everyone says that, because they've heard other people say it, but no one can answer it for themselves.

[@randywolf6942]

because several therapists have been impersonated on it, you dont even seem to need a liscense to be a therapist on it, they sell client information, and other stuff im sure im forgetting. its just a bad company thats taking advantage of the people they claim to want to help

[@yamsdev]

​@daniellecollier7276 Using unlicensed "therapists," offering free services to IDF goons during their flattening of Gaza, terrible privacy policy and violations, the founder was in the IDF. How is that?

[@LeahIsHereNow]

10:01 Emma’s a psychopath. Don’t be like Emma.

[@Cowboy_Frog]

I promise we’re not all like that 😅 As someone in therapy I can’t even begin to fathom why she’d do something like that.

[@sleepynibi]

I've noticed that people named Emma are so hit or miss

[@im3phirebird81]

@@sleepynibi Everybody is. No name makes everybody bearing that name good or bad. That is why i am so fed up with the abuse of the name Karen. I bet you nobody nowadays looks at a Karen and thinks of them neutrally when meeting the first time.

[@Of_Crow]

Do not take sponsorships from Better Help! They have sold confidential patient data, and some of their therapists aren’t even licensed!

[@brettcrampton4811]

Better help has been proven to be shady and to have been involved with malpractice, conversion therapy, and unliscnsed individuals acting as therapists(ironically like the second story. I would genuinely suggest finding a different sponser if possible

[@majormushu]

There is a reason you see them all the time. KZbinrs still have bills to pay and they are one of the few that pay decently. Just spread the info and move on. Allow the creators to take their money with no return on investment.

[@brettcrampton4811]

@@majormushu it's an unfortunate but understandable situation

[@MrBobbyMan]

BetterHelp HAVE been in some very shady water, but they have improved how they hire therapists, and you can confirm your therapist is real yourself now.

[@astrophelX]

@@MrBobbyMancan you point to any sources on their improvements? id love to believe that theyve improved, but even looking things up now i only see bad things.

[@JulezwithTrueCrimeReactions]

Came here to say this and I'm so glad there's multiple comments about it. I mean honestly he could have taken 10 secs to research them....

[@AlissaSss23]

My ex's mum came over to his flat when we were away "to drop a desk Christmas tree for us". I knew she was snooping around my stuff, because she ILLEGALLY WENT IN when the flat was rented to a tennant and she swooped around on them. During the pandemic, my ex's grandma got Covid and was close to dying in the hospital. His mum REFUSED to lend her own mum a breathing aid/ oxygen machine she wasn't even using. It was stored under the bed, but she wouldnt save her own mum, in case "she might need the mschine herself, because she gets a cough in the winter".

[@xDarkAngelCx]

The clogged toilet story. Considering they'd only been hanging out for a few weeks her reaction was pretty understandable. They weren't in that "comfortable" couple phase yet. She was maybe afraid an embarrassing story about her would make its way around people they knew or perhaps that he'd be so disgusted that he'd be the one ghosting her. It was nice of the guy to be as cool about it as he was and hopefully things ended up working out.

[@lizzyblitz07]

Yeah. With stories like this I almost NEVER see myself possibly doing the same crazy thing as the person in the story. This is the exception, and it's for a few reasons 1 - she did try the logical thing first: the plunger 2 - you have NO IDEA how the guy will react. The insane embarrassment is already there. Then you add that you've (likely) never seen this guy angry before. His possible negative reactions could range from shame to actual violence given how extreme the mess is. Obviously a reaction less positive than OP's would be warranted, but something hurtful wouldn't be. And, being a woman alone in a man's house I'd be scared to stay if we hadn't known each other a year +

[@aelwynwitch9460]

I have about 1001 gastric diseases. I START dating by warning them that will hear about poop and see vomit at least once a week. Cull the weak first. (I'm disabled I don't have time to be ashamed if I overflowed the toilet. 😅)

[@Fragmented_Mask]

@@aelwynwitch9460 Chronic IBS here and this is my take as well. 3 weeks isn't long, but I think if I was hanging out with someone as much as they seem to have been, I would already have litmus tested the person for whether they can handle poop stuff with grace (or, even better, have a sense of humour about it!)

[@Gunkle_Jeb]

I probably wouldn’t have been cool with it solely because I’m a janitor and listen; people who DIY their poop mess without asking for help always make it 100% worse than it would have been if they had asked when it happened. That’s like $100 of damage to do to someone’s stuff to _imagine_ saving face- because they’re literally gonna find out eventually

[@jeannineflores3623]

@@Gunkle_Jebyep! Honesty is always the best policy 😅

[@kandreasworld4374]

The first one. . . Girl you can do better. This will not end well. His mother will have the final say in every decision that is made in your relationship. Get out while you can.

[@yellowsoy2475]

Word of advice, a therapist should always have a contract and a space to advertise their type of therapy. Do not get couples therapy via one person, both should research and decide on it together.

[@susannes.7288]

No not better help, please. There is enough information out there these days to know that better help is n o t okay.

[@icyada_plays3492]

11:15 I'm pretty sure you could actually get arrested for posing as a therapist. Cuz don't therapists have to take like....the Hippocratic oath or something? Cuz when you get right down too it they are specialist doctors. Just focusing on mental health rather then physical health

[@MsNeonDion]

At the very least he can sue them both in a civil case.

[@cgjeff]

Yuuuup, practicing psychology without a license. Plus the boyfriend could potentially sue for the psychological damage. He honestly should get them both charged.

[@CorgiDaddy2]

They have to be licensed within their state which requires passing the equivalent of the bar for lawyers.

[@CorgiDaddy2]

@@cgjeff I'd leave them both without a dime to their names.

[@Turtle-Melon]

I love your content, man, which is why I want to say please be more careful with your sponsors. Better Help has done a lot of shady stuff to the detriment of the clients they're supposed to be helping, and still I see a lot of ads and sponsors for them. I think it's because not enough people know how bad they are, which is why it's so important that their wrongdoings are talked about so people dont fall into their coin purse like so many other vulnerable people needing help. That said, keep up the content, I do genuinely love listening to these videos in the background while doing stuff, and I love your "honey roasting" stuff in your more wholesome readings!

[@rachelsilver2224]

LMAO I’m forever saying “getting a locksmith to remix those keyholes” instead of “changing the locks” 😂😂😂

[@littlemisstink921]

lmao Same here. I actually came to the comments looking for this one.

[@The_Late_Great_Hannibal_Lecter]

Ironic (or apt?) that the vid w/ a story about a fake therapist is sponsored by Better Help

[@bleistiftkritzler7275]

Noooo not the better help sponsorship . They’re so known to be terrible,one Google search should have showed that 😭💔

[@majormushu]

Exactly, so everyone else can google them and decide for themselves to not use the service. He has bills to pay just like the rest of us

[@kay-jay1581]

I think they just have a bad rep because people wrote about bad experiences they have, but a lot of people also had good experiences. It’s might just easier to know the negative stuff. The positive things unusually pass under people’s radar. But yes people should look into Better help first decide if it’s for them or not.

[@kat5418]

@@kay-jay1581buddy they sell peoples information to advertisers 😭

[@kiluanon]

For those doing their own research, look into these very real BetterHelp scenarios: a track record of illegally selling client data, having unprofessional therapists who ghost clients, and allowing people to sign up as therapists with no actual or proper credentials.

[@AlexLopez0506]

That's common with therapy. They used to have a bad rep but they've fixed their shit. Also, people only review things if they either really like it or really help it.

[@rachelwatson3339]

Please drop better help i have heard so many horror stories like one i can verify that a persons therapist unfortunately died in an accident and they did not inform their patents and did not offer a free transfer or even discount during that transition!

[@jenelaina5665]

Dude, I love your vids. Better Help sponsorship = 🚩

[@kristinavechinski7182]

My shock when I heard the words "Better Help" as a sponsor. Literally snapped my head up from coloring

[@glenndiddy]

If someone pulls that therapy shit on me, I'm breaking up the instant I hear about it. I don't give a shit about the explanation

[@Hazels_Dream]

Exactly, if anyone pulls that kind of crap, then they don’t love their significant other. They want to change and control them.

[@badkitty4922]

As soon as I heard the name Lily, I knew the story and what was up.🤬🤬🤬🙄🤦‍♀️. ( I don't know why tf comments are turned off, but I guess I gotta ask Dustin about this.)

[@arcticgalaxies9160]

the absolute irony of the red flag guy sponsoring with betterhelp

[@lenapawlek7295]

Getting a betterhelp sponsorship is red flag for me - they literally sell paitient data or did previously!!! Pleas dont take sponsors from them

[@zerotodona1495]

Everyone sells data.

[@booyahback]

Hey man, I love your stuff and how real and raw you get with the audience. That said, I want to add to the cries to please end the betterhelp sponsorship. They’re deeply, deeply problematic and have done tremendous harm to their patients.

[@katieh40]

That therapy one should have charges filed! Holy cow!😢

[@MsNeonDion]

Right?! I was thinking this has to be illegal. I bet he could file a civil case and sue their asses for that.. For suffering and such

[@NamelessFaceless-h1u]

Oh, Dustin... not you too 😭 when will people remember how awful better help has been to their clients and how little they care about their team’s education in mental health? Did everyone just forget? Am I crazy? Am I the red flag??

[@rdarkstorm8414]

Betterhelp sponsorship is the ultimate red flag. Never trust a company that admits to selling confidential information and that has outed lgbtq patients.

[@RebelMuse]

It's always amazing when influencers are willing to speak to their mental health journeys. Thank you for putting yourself out there!!

[@CorgiDaddy2]

Lily was practicing without a license which is a crime. He needs to toss her shit out and go 100% no contact with her and her friends and any of his friends that stands up for them.

[@Stuff_I_Watch]

10:20 YOU DON’T - do not under any circumstances moved past this!!!! I am hoping the comments will come to your aid sir, you’ve been gaslit. Sadly now you will need therapy from a real therapist to undo the awful damage Emma & Lily caused. Nice women are still out here, we’ve just been dealing with our own ex narcissists!!

[@PrinceDuCiel7]

The second story has me Livid. That poor man!

[@mollywhingo5186]

Gotta love the irony of that fake therapist story being sponsored by better help 🤣

[@mimi2the4]

Better Help = MALPRACTICE

[@noodlebrains2689]

Having better help as a sponsor is a red flag

[@cyn4476]

The therapy one - I'd press charges against the woman who was pretending to be a therapist. That's against the law. I might be tempted to sue both of them, as well.

[@CorgiDaddy2]

I'd crowdfund to get him a good lawyer who would leave the both of them penniless.

[@slightlyreddishradish682]

that better help ad was a red flag

[@Bigunfire12]

Therapy is good, it can help people and change their outlook on life, better help is like roulette, are you getting help from a therapist or your local supermarket cashier, if you need help always go to a reputable therapist.

[@CorgiDaddy2]

And there are many similar panels out there who actually vet their therapists and don't sell data and are cheaper. There's one out there that serves people who can't afford to pay for therapy.

[@paulinakowalska3601]

12:23 tbh this is a perfect example of "and this is how I met your mother" story

[@charko4191]

isn't "better help" a scam that so many people warned about years ago? wow I did not expect this many people talking about better help in the comments I hope Dustin wakes up to that EDIT so there a note adressing the whole controversy but just ciurious was there fromvyhe start or added later.? Has anyone confirmed If better help actually got better and does not let unvetted unlicenced people work there?

[@Dinoboots]

Yup, there been some new shit on them recently too, so I’m shocked he accepted the sponsorship. A single google search hell even a little peek here on KZbin has dozens of videos and articles talking about how messed up it is. Like, he must not have vetted them AT ALL, and also maybe living under a rock since I see videos recommended to me like every week about how it’s a scam.

[@AuDHD_Mom]

Supposedly they have been listening to therapists and changing their ways and trying to invite people back to them. But after my experience, I won't ever go back.

[@Natalielovescats]

Even Jackie from nerdEcrafter sees them but if it helps them then they can use it and we won’t idk what else to say about it

[@Natalielovescats]

I hope that they can find other people who can help them instead of better help that are real professionals who actually help them and are not fake

[@charko4191]

I was waiting for him to adress the issue but it seems he is ignoring the comments WHat dO u thInK Guys RED FLAG?​@@Dinoboots

[@kandreasworld4374]

The second one. Drop her immediately!!! Anyone who is willing to go that far to manipulate you is a psychopath. Not only did she do it, but she bragged to her friends about it, frequently, for the conversation you overheard to even happen. This woman is not who you thought she was. Get out now and never look back. She will try to manipulate you into staying. It's just another way for her to control you. LEAVE NOW!!!

[@karenmatuska3812]

Licensed therapist here: Lily needs to be reported to the state. State laws vary, but this is likely a legal issue.

[@tmm6884]

It IS a legal issue. Especially, if any money was given to her for "therapy."

[@mayafh118]

Hey man, everyone already said this but... Please don't take sponsorships from BetterHelp, they did some very very very bad things and shouldn't have propaganda spread by any creators.

[@WikiAndi172]

Hi adding to the better help thing. Please do not use them as a sponsor in the future. Totally unserstand the message behind the ad, but better help is not it. Edit: the second story fits the sponsor, since better help has also hired unlecensed therapists.

[@ludwig77]

DUSTIN! Thank you for sharing your humor, insight, integrity and YOUR PAST with us. You're a man's man. Really appreciate you and what you bring to KZbin! Always looking forward to the next video. And Kendra (SP?) you're the real deal kind of awesome. Every man could use a "you" supporting them. (Also...f*** Emma)

[@AndyyWithAY]

She's not your MIL and she shouldn't ever be. That's your fiance's mom. He is the problem here. He should not have ever let her snoop around your house in your things. This is your property. She didn't ask before "tidying up". Affirmations are an amazing self help tool and I would've done far worse to the nosey snoop who mocked me for having them. Fiance's mom do you know what it's like living with a speech impediment? How about body dysmorphia? How about social anxiety? No? Then STFU and don't touch or comment on my 💩. But, dump this mumma's boy. If you marry him, his obnoxious mom will never stop meddling

[@CorgiDaddy2]

And will spend the entire marriage trying to break them up.

[@margodphd]

​@@CorgiDaddy2Exactly. Because boy moms/girl dads are very often genuinely are in love with their child in the emotionally incest-y 🤢way and genuinely try to compete with their child's partner. In the process destroying the partner's sanity and self esteem. Love the username 😁

[@severalwolves]

for the last guy: I feel like it was a bad move when he reached out again and asked if she wanted to “talk about it.” like, what is there to talk about? an incredibly embarrassing thing happened; who would want to have to re-litigate it in detail, in hopes of earning some kind of exoneration? who wants to put their shame on trial like that? if you really want that person back, you gotta just move on, and let them know you’re not being judgmental. just say “yeah that was unfortunate, but who cares. ‘crap happens’ - but it’s in the past, and I won’t bring it up again.” don’t offer them a _potential_ reconciliation that hinges on a discussion of an incredibly humiliating experience. leave it up to her if she ever wants to discuss it, but otherwise you don’t care and won’t hold it against them.

[@biggest_concord_fan]

BETTERHELP IS A VERY VERY VERY BAD SPONSOR, PLEASE DON'T PUT THEM IN YOUR VIDEOS AND TERMINATE THE SPONSOR CONTRACT

[@capness1228]

Yeah, how dare he get paid to make all this free content for chuds like you 🙄 bet you have ad blocker on too.