Ex Best Friends Talk After 5 Years - Those Girls are Wild

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ShanBoody.com
Shannon "Boody" Boodram is an intimacy expert and relationship educator who promotes sexual empowerment through information and conversation. She creates contents for young adults to make better choices in their intimate lives and romantic relationships. For more info on Shan visit
shanboody.com/p...
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Music: Epidemic Sound "On My Mind"
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"Soaring" By Jared Brady (unreleased)
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[@shanboody]

DON'T FORGET TO DO THE POLL IN THE RIGHT HAND CORNER! Thank you all for watching this video and BIG thanks to SQUARESPACE for seeing this as an important convo that they wanted to compensate Andrea and I for including their brand in. You can find links to both in the info box AND I'd love to hear from you: have you gone through a friendship breakup? Did you overcome it?

[@purplestorm9004]

Shan BOODY I lost my best friend a few months ago and it took a few weeks before i actually sat down with her and we decided to be civil and we still talk when we see each but done hang out or text frequently however we both wish each other nothing but the best but decided being “friends”just isn’t for us

[@veliciahiley7652]

Shan BOODY Great conversation. I am glad to see two good friends heal & grow. Thank you for sharing this. 😊❤️

[@mur52691]

I finally have closure! (Even though this has nothing to do with me! HA!) i started watching you guys years ago with Those Girls Are Wild!! Ughhh

[@superduperjoi6800]

:)

[@ebiuwaosula1761]

My bestfriend and I stopped talking two years ago. I feel like it was meant to be. The friendship was fading away and we just did not connect anymore. We did not have any closure, but I am not bothered. I have moved on and I know that I will find better friends.

[@silviamwendia9439]

I loved this. I think non-romantic friendship break-ups are not emphasised enough and they hurt just as bad sometimes if not more. Great stuff👍🏾

[@danpatrick24]

Silvia Mwendia That’s TEA!

[@Dani-ms7xk]

Very true

[@mahaylahelliott4965]

They hurt more especially without closure

[@jennyoyster5054]

Silvia Mwendia They really do ❤️❤️✨✨.

[@monimtenga7412]

This.

[@andrealewischannel]

Thanks Shannon, I'm so glad we got the chance to talk and reconnect. xo

[@shanboody]

👯‍♀️

[@NicoleAllwood]

I needed this video! I was hoping this day would come! Congratulations you two! Stay Lovely, stay Blessed, Coley🙏🏿💕💛

[@QueenTiffers]

Omg I love you 🖤 you were def in my tv rotation for me in my teens!!

[@QueenTiffers]

Ok done fanning lol. It was nice to see someone who gets it to talk about depression.. I feel like I'm constantly apologizing to people for going into "hiding". Depression makes relationships so much harder. And this convo is just another nod to how important communication is.

[@Celenexpress]

Andrea Lewis ah 😭 the mutual respect is glorified

[@user-ox7cg8xf4s]

The lack of eye contact in this video is so awkward yet strangely relatable

[@onigiriluvz]

Alyxus Romo well it’s awkward even having constant eye contact with any person

[@Asianbabyk]

They’re also looking at the cameras for the video

[@BritBrat444]

@@onigiriluvz so true.

[@normabarros3124]

Wow I didn't even catch that. Your good observer. What does that say you think? Maybe there not fully really for connection.

[@joymechell277]

Was friends with this girl for almost 9 years . I'm talking practically sisters . I had emergency surgery and she made her parents rush her there so she could see about me . She helped me after surgery with everything , even walking to the bathroom ....the fact that she just one day decided to up and no longer speak to me and still acts like we never met kills me . I didn't want to admit it at first but I've never called anyone my "friend " ever again and I don't think I want to build anything that strong just to fall out . I would love to do this with her just to get some stuff out of my system.

[@earthangel6858]

Joy Mechell why did she stop speaking to you?

[@taphc]

you must have done something she cant forgive sis

[@joymechell277]

earthangel she started getting involved with boys and new people . Then she ended up pregnant by some guy she barley knew and move away with him . She gave her baby to her parents and decided to just party and live a life she's never known before . I've actually babysat her child before🤷🏽‍♀️ she jut doesn't know it . I saw her two months ago and we made eye contact . I can tell she's just lost , and I pray every night that she finds her way back to me . She did mention once feeling like she's messed up too much for me to want to be her friend , but I'll always have a place for her

[@joymechell277]

Taf Taff um, why does it have to be me ? I did nothing but support and love her , even when she started getting in trouble with her parents and started experimenting with risky behaviors . I saw her two months ago and we made eye contact . I can tell she wants to say something . She looked more trapped and sad than she did hatful . We didn't leave each other on bad terms . I still pray for her everyday and think about wether she's safe or not out there . I'll never understand her reasoning but I can try if she's willing . I'm just waiting on her

[@taphc]

Joy Mechell lol sorry for judging too fast but it sounded like you were the guilty one. After reading your second comment I understand more. You talked about of much she cared about you and I assume if she could not forgive you now its because you did something unforgivable.... because I ve been on the other side. I cared for a friend too and they did something I could nt forget.... anyway I hope she comes around one day and if you can , keep reminding her how much you want better for her...she sounds lost and she needs a friend

[@ymn5201]

These comments are therapeutic. Shout out to all the Ex-Best friends the ones we miss and the ones we still can't stand!!!!!!

[@gdjwarren2]

Feel it.

[@sweethartia]

I like that they’re taking responsibility for their contributions. They’re not playing the blame game

[@irishaggai6019]

Friendship breakups are 10 times worse than romantic breakups. I loved this. Thank you

[@morganbrown6032]

“We never had conflict and there’s always a gift and a curse to that” this perfectly defined one of my best friendships that ended up blowing up. Me and this girl NEVER had any issues, and if there was discomfort it was never addressed. Then the climax came and completely obliterated our friendship and our trust. It breaks my heart because I know we may never be that close again

[@laurenwatts5522]

SAME

[@daghettogandhi7242]

I can relate HEAVY. I just had to realize it wasn’t me and I had to let it go, but that type of hurt from a best friend or really close friend hurts deep

[@shakamufasa]

About a year ago my best friend and I broke up. We ended our friendship in a really immature way and I regret a lot of what happened between us. We both made mistakes but overall I don’t see myself being her friend in the future and I’m okay with that. I think more than anything I hope she’s in a good space and I hope I take the lessons from that friendship and break up with me to do better in the future. Not all stories are meant to last forever, most relationships last long enough to teach you and prepare you for the next one. Life is all about growth.

[@shanboody]

Wonderfully said

[@shakamufasa]

Shan BOODY thank you. loveeee you!

[@vickym.p6826]

Wow this resonated with me!!!!

[@devinngeorge]

Savannah Elahian message her

[@Vincisomething]

Savannah Elahian Idk how or why it happened (I think miscommunication that was taken the wrong way), but a former friend said something about not talking to me anymore. Haven't gone back since though.

[@MacyHarrell]

I needed this closure. I loved watching you guys together. This is also so relatable. People don't talk about friendship breakups enough.

[@tigereyes5]

Macy Harrell very true regarding friendship breakups. They happen very often and cause a lot of hurt, anger, jealousy etc that people don't open up about. It's more conventional to expect people to be upset about breaking up from a boyfriend/girlfriend than a best friend.

[@heyreebee4180]

Same. I needed it too 😭

[@nnjddr]

Yep

[@colorfulcodes]

Macy Harrell same, I used to watch them on KZbin and wondered what happened. I honestly forgot about that show until this vid.

[@araemoore]

Agreed

[@breadrones2710]

“If you love someone love them enough to give them blank pages” wooooow preach!!

[@GWorld3]

The beauty of this conversation is how mature it is; and maturity is seen here by speaking the truth in love...which is a rare virtue.

[@nohandle11117]

Mean Vaseline I feel like their body language tells a different story. Do you see it? Or just me?

[@tallasianchick]

Cadet Kelly AND Degrassi?! GIRL!

[@YPM498]

Omg I didn’t even recognize her at first! She’s grown so beautifully

[@gabbyquigley]

tallasianchick it was killing me trying to figure it out!!

[@soumazyn3795]

Yep Hazel from Degrassi. Jimmy’s ex!! Lol

[@tonayaw7955]

I kept wondering where I remembered her from!

[@shantellevy9521]

Sameeeeeeee

[@BrieTay]

I think it does hurt the most when your best friend places more value into a new relationship, more so than the friendship/relationship that was already established. I get the vibe that, that’s what could have happened. Similar to how someone finds a new friend that they feel they connect w/ more so than the friend that had been w/ them for years through everything. But at the same time as you grow, you realize that maybe you were never that compatible and that you were friends based upon proximity rather than being genuinely paired or placed or compatible.

[@brea2795]

Brie Shaniece agreed, I feel that most people are "friends" because they attend the same high school/college, work in the same place, live in the same neighborhood etc.

[@gummybears1339]

Brie Shaniece Geeeezzz that hit my soul !!!

[@93shantal]

Brie Shaniece relating to this sooo hard rn!

[@triniwondawoman]

omg yesss!!! i can relate to this so much!

[@QueenBluntdanae]

Brie Shaniece tea !🙏🏾🚨

[@maycoleman7348]

The way she describes depression is soo real. I've lost so many friends to my going away when I need to recharge and its not convenient to others needs of me.

[@oliviac295]

I ghosted everyone a couple months ago because I was depressed and now I wanna reach out and let them know I do care and value our friendships but they probably hate me😕😢

[@maycoleman7348]

@@oliviac295 still reach out. If they can’t understand. It’s not their season to, or their season to be blessed by you😘😘

[@kadurr1]

It’s not the going away or handling your mental health, it’s the non-communication and the ability to communicate even when they need space.

[@nelly_008]

How did things turn out May? I’m in this situation and I’m afraid to reach out to those I’ve ghosted.

[@NwaLioness]

@@nelly_008 I am going through the same thing but I am so scared to reach out, because they probably hate me and I don’t want to get rejected.

[@livinglifewithtiararenee]

My best friend ended out 9 year friendship about 7 years ago. I can’t believe it’s been that long. She couldn’t come to terms with a lot of life changing moments in my life. Once I got engaged to my now husband that was it for her. Never had closure but I think of her often and hope she’s blessed in everything she does.

[@AngeRose47]

Thats beautiful.Always wish people the best.I am sure she thinks of you too.

[@tab0108]

Yea I pretty much lost my best friend after I got married. It was almost like she was jealous.

[@mizzbrown767]

So u got married and she did not understand anything I m confused

[@Manik-oj5jq]

tab0108 sad to say she probably was. More than likely she wasn't jealous of you having a husband but the emotional replacement of her. She more than likely was no longer your primary confidant but you were still hers. Love Is Love and although you did not share a romantic love your Bond was still emotionally intense and intertwined.

[@mizzbrown767]

Tiara Countee I agree I feel like u don't cut yo friends off when u have a hubby cus went shit hit the fan your true fans go all ways be there

[@hiboahmed8876]

“Give your friends blank pages” wow this is so powerful. I’ve been having issues with a best friends of many years and I think I’ve been doing a lot of this assuming ..probably on both ends. I saw us in the two of you.

[@JewishGirlRox]

I am too...but my friends don't like to share. I'm not so good socially and I don't know how to get them to share..

[@alainac.8183]

I pretty much ghosted my ex bestfriend of about 10 years. There was too much hurt and mistrust in the friendship. It was so toxic and emotionally draining and I felt so unhappy and I felt like shit whenever we hung out. So I just ended it, no explaination, nothing. I feel bad and still care for my ex bestfriend. But I learned it's better to learn to love yourself and walk away, than to keep yourself in any toxic relationship. I find it hard to become friends with people now

[@jasu5142]

100 percent agree, had the same experience

[@nadiaalvarez2023]

You just described my situation perfectly. I’m also having a hard time becoming friends with people and pretty much have become desensitized when people try to get close to me.. I hope I recover from it one day 😞

[@sadcat157]

i cut people out of my life like i’m cutting my split-ends 😔😔😔

[@jay_bear2347]

crunchtime 100 Same its a bad habit of mine

[@Theefashionchilld]

Same lol

[@teacupolous]

I have never related to a post more.

[@jvnnvh]

Ok billie

[@aksprkl6594]

We live in that kind of world now. People throw around words like "toxic" instead of giving people the benefit of the doubt. Sounds like you don't give people enough blank pages.

[@keynikki]

I've been through a VERY similar situation, we met around 11 & 12 and our falling out was in our late 20's. As a result, I was the person who became emotionally crippled because we had truly lived as family. She went on to have many new friends, while I had trouble trusting and oddly, all of my close friends became men. In hindsight, I realized that not being upfront about my feelings never gave my friend an opportunity to do anything. My hurt feelings stayed hurt and I turned bitter. I realized I did the friendship a dis-service. Since, I've learned that disagreements test a friendship in a good way. Additionally, it's better to lovingly speak your mind and a true friend will want to work it out.

[@kellikall]

I feel this same thing happening to my 12 year old friendship right now, and I'm the emotionally crippled and sad one while she'll go one and get many new friends.. Do you have any tips for me? I find it so fucking hard to talk about feelings I never do that with anyone

[@beautifulyoung23]

Deep --> "Since, I've learned that disagreements test a friendship in a good way. "

[@IsabelleMN11]

"love someone enough to give them blank pages". I love this because it gives a practical understanding of having standards for the kind of people you want in your life, while also remaining flexible. it's not easy, to love someone without forcing them to be the image of them that you created. being deliberate about letting people be exactly who they are, that's work!

[@adt33bjb13]

I feel like I need to share this with my “ex best friend” and just have her watch it, and then hit her up to have a “re” . I literally think about her everyday, but she literally ghosted me bc life happened. Thank you for sharing this.

[@CasillasBrenda]

AlishaC33 Same

[@ericaalmanzar7010]

Same. My best friend of 5 years ghosted me. We finally had a conversation through text 2 years after she ghosted where I totally poured my heart out and all she responded with was. "You know ive never been good with friendships." Friend breakups are the worst heartbreak a person can go through. I still think about her and even dreamed of her the other night.

[@daphneycoriolan1169]

Gurl people do that all the time idk why. I feel like they take what they want from u and leave

[@Catcvcv]

@@ericaalmanzar7010 i dream about my ex best friends sometimes. I feel ashamed about it. 🙁 i reached out to them and they didn't even care about me anymore. All those tears for nothing.

[@mliel_26]

About a year ago I ended a friendship that have spanned for fourteen years. We had a cordial conversation about giving distance/space and allowing each other to flourish without the other. For me, I believed we had a lot of communication issues. I tried my best to be the type of friend that would be available at all times, especially when she was going through a lot of relationship changes...but, I was neglecting my mental health. I continually needed to reenergize (be a hermit) and she had the type of personality where constant presence was required to prove that you’re a good friend. I also felt uncomfortable for the most part because she had a subtle way of putting you down while bringing herself up. To this day, while I am still going through the hardships of depression, I’m glad I allowed myself to be the priority. She recently tried to reach out and I never responded. Not out of malice, but I knew it’s for the best in the long run. Sometimes some chapters have to close so that you can continue along your journey. I wish her all the best in life and hope she finds fulfilling friendships. I’m happy you guys showed a vulnerable moment online.

[@lifeofTartarh]

I can relate to this! Thank you f

[@annesamuelefrancois6803]

I can relate to this too. Thanks for sharing.

[@cherylsampson5472]

This reminds me of The Red Table talk with Jada Pinkett. Always good to mend broken fences. Thanks for sharing.

[@KoolKiwiSings]

Cheryl Sampson I was thinking that

[@ebcutiepie]

Cheryl Sampson I doubt it's a coincidence.

[@em.415]

Jada and Gabrielle

[@Theefashionchilld]

The white couch talk

[@almetas_grandbaby]

I had a BFF, and we were friends for 3 years. She literally just STOPPED talking to me. out of nowhere. I tried and tried to rekindle. to talk. then one day out of the blue she invites me to her wedding. I said no way. no way. no way. I cant be a part of the monumental time in your life without resolving our friendship. cant do it. i don't like fakeness.

[@deej5608]

Created by Cristal WOW CRAZY. Good for you knowing you deserve better

[@mariemela5632]

Did you go?

[@almetas_grandbaby]

I refused to go. I told her you know I was supposed to be your brides maid. (because we had discussed that before). I told her i wasn't just some regular person at the wedding. I was supposed to occupy this super tight knit space in her life. She just told me plenty of people were going to be there that weren't that close to her and that there would be lots of people there where her relationship to them had changed. I said HELL TO THE NAW TO THE NAW NAW NAW....and stay my ass home!

[@Myaccount923]

Created by Cristal did she say why she stopped talking to you?

[@strictlyuniqueful]

GIRL, I had the same thing happen to me except she wanted me to attend her birthday party and be all "cheery" after she knew that we have unresolved issues. I simply declined and sent her a text saying I will take her somewhere we can go out one on one and discuss what needs to be discussed whenever she is ready.

[@TXejas19]

"I wanted to maintain business with you but i didn't want to continue our friendship" something about that statement rubbed me the wrong way. I haven't figured out what yet

[@TXejas19]

Adolf Hhh possibly, i just realized it might be a bit deeper than that on a personal level. i enjoyed your word choices and ability to access and explain.

[@levarhiggs3174]

Sounds like the way a lot of married couples with kids speak to each other.

[@brujalinda]

TXejas19 TXejas19 she liked the money

[@MrAllysonn]

Me too. Sound like fake friend.

[@yahainHotPink]

The statement to me was very sad. I really agree with your comment.

[@alexisv088]

I like how you both took accountability for the part you played in the breakup. I also like how you both shared lessons learned along the way.

[@shanboody]

Thank you! Happy to have you

[@sophiashmia6587]

I had 3 bestfriends and lost them all in the course of a year. I no longer have a bestfriend and it honestly really sucks. I don't want to open up to anyone else from fear they will just leave. This kind of helped me.

[@kerencardoza9749]

Sophia shmia yup same

[@laydielis]

Sophia shmia Same here. It’s ok though. I feel better off.

[@kendallbrooke173]

Me as well. I knew them since I was kids. However, we all grew in different directions. I have two people in my life now, my fiancée and my best friend I met at work. Life gets better

[@kissesfromJay]

Same with me. We were a trio but we just stopped talking after failed attempts on my end to fix things. They’re a new trio with a common friend we all had. It does sucks but I think I’ve grown so much from it.

[@DianaVanessaful]

Same here

[@alyssaguess]

Yeeeo that's Hazel from Degrassi! It took me like 5 minutes to try and figure out why she looked so familiar 😂

[@taylorwilson2597]

bougie clorox I was really looking at her like where have I seen you before

[@nikkid8834]

taylor wilson yesss

[@Lifeisfun84]

You are late tot the party

[@alyssaguess]

Lifeisfun84 wym?

[@keyshaA]

Me too...it was bothered me so much. Haha

[@gaellepierre-louis6508]

"It's easy for ppl, I find to be like you're mad at me so I'm gonna be mad at you... this is the strangest, silliest logic... am I crazy?" That hit me so hard cuz that exactly what I'm dealing with rn and it's so irritating how some ppl always need to play the victim

[@TheSamanthaEdit]

I broke up with someone who I thought was one of my best friends three years ago, after she ghosted me while I was going through chemo. She'd been showing me for years that she didn't care about me nearly as much as I cared about her, and I always forgave her or looked the other way. But a sign that damn big, I couldn't ignore. The thought that someone I cared about so much (I thought of her like a sister, which I guess speaks to how little I valued myself at the time), could just walk away from me at the worst time of my life, still hurts to this day. Especially when I had been there for her through all kinds of shit. I absolutely refuse to ever speak to her again.

[@latoyaforever]

I'm here for this 😊

[@shanboody]

Ahhhhh Queen LaToyaaa

[@Redd91ful]

LaToya Forever you and Rochelle’s turn‼️

[@Redd91ful]

...again

[@oletheasims-browne3295]

Egypts Pyramid ,how about Latoya and Ayanna now that will be a good one "YES LATOYA AND AYANNA😃😃😃😉😉😉👍👍👍

[@christinamcgregor4083]

Olethea Sims-Browne Arent she and ayanna still friends? They probably are still friends but Ayanna is a flight attendant plus she has her son grayson to take care of.

[@MISHELMUSE]

I TOTALLY REMEMBER THIS CHANNEL it's good to see you both still flourishing.

[@jaybird1301]

I just happened to come across this video, and it really touched me, because I suffer-from depression. I will disappear and not answer my phone for days, and people who I thought were my friends never questioned me about where I was or had been. When I became a Christian and joined my church, after a couple of years, I have made true friends, that when I don’t show up for church or answered their texts they will show up at my house, no matter the time, day or night. These women have shown me what true friendship is, because they like Christ love me through all my FLAWS❤️ Praise God for showing me what friendship is.

[@triniwondawoman]

JAY-BIRD 68 i’m a big believer in actions. if u cant even reach out to me even to see if i’m ok, then ur not a true friend.

[@jaybird1301]

melissa bermentt I started realizing that after having people in my church reaching out, during times that I didnt show up at bible study or church. I still love my old friends but I just woke me up to what friendship is. I would always call them, go by and being food when they were sick. I guess they just do not know what friendship consist of. I continue to pray for them.

[@ninadammerstern3966]

melissa bermentt yeah but everyone is different. If I don't answer my phone for days it probably means that I want to be left the fuck alone lol. I just assumed that others were the same so I left them alone as well. Your friends can't read your thoughts. If you just tell them to check up on you once in a while and they still won't, THEN that person is a bad friend.

[@tyffiesuniverse1598]

I'm an introvert (not a shy one) and hyper observant. I usually dissolve relationships once I concretely know they are toxic. I have never reconnect with an ex-friend because I don't have the capacity to reestablish trust. Was the trust lost, or did you have to reestablish it? If so how?

[@islandgem4328]

Tyffies Universe are you a Scorpio?

[@lentevogels]

Island Gem ooommmaagaawwddd

[@taphc]

She sounds more like a Leo lol

[@bigj-dubb4068]

I'm a virgo and this sounds like me...

[@taphc]

Big J-Dubb well virgos are little lions loll

[@Faaade_]

I was a subscriber of that channel. I was sad when it ended but I know sometimes things change. I absolutely loved this reunion....you both are super mature, strong, beautiful women that are showing folks how they can truly be bigger person to try to understand each other's differences. Im happy for you both.

[@fedup4190]

I'm still catching myself singing their theme tune "those girls are wild dot com"

[@MagickalMermaid]

EclecticFlavor. Same!!!

[@MysTaria87]

Same here.

[@meccal.2692]

All these years she still look the same. Black don’t crack, sis so pretty !

[@jaysim3253]

I had to sit up, pay attention and play it back when Shannon was talking about the process of a 'slow breakup' because that was just so true. Everything that she described just happened to me recently with my ex, especially the part about the significant other attaching a negative or underlying meaning to everything you do even when you didn't mean it like that. Anything to reinforce their current thoughts, it felt like swimming upstream at that point.

[@Cocohontas]

I had a best friend for 3 years and he would stop talking to me on and off. He would disappear for months at a time and return as if nothing happened. I wanted us to work so much because we were really close, but I knew he didn’t value me or our friendship like I did anymore. He would always compete with me, try to talk negatively about me, and even be friends with people who spoke badly of me. We drifted more and more apart after I went to college while he stayed back home. He would always claim to be busy, but you make time for who and what you want to. I’m okay with being alone. I’m open to meeting new people, but I don’t expect much. If I don’t ever make a new best friend, then I would be okay with that. Sucks to open up to someone and give them a chance just to be discarded, but people are fickle. It’s just the way of the world. I’ve healed from that friendship now and don’t care to know him anymore ❤️ It’s nice that they’ve come together again tho

[@heyyo8418]

Cocohontas He sounds like a narcissistic tbh. You’re better off!

[@rachelleparker2999]

I am currently going through this... wow. Thank you, I needed to see this.

[@Cocohontas]

Heyyo EightyFour thank you :) Yeah he was trash

[@Cocohontas]

Rachelle Parker Glad to help. When it’s over, you know. Don’t waste time and energy like I did💖

[@EssenceEtienne]

Kind of exactly what I’m going though right now. My friend would just dip off and leave me hanging and it sucks. I really give her my all but she leaves and comes back and I accept it with open arms. Now I don’t have a best friend and it’s SO hard for me to make friends. I’m a really shy person. I’m not gonna let her back in my life when she wants to come back I’ll just ignore it cause I can’t take the back and forth. Too painful. I guess I’ll just have no friends lol.

[@MichelWilna]

This is really good. I “broke up” with my best friend in 2016 because I was tired of making a lot of effort on my side & felt like I was chasing after her to contact me. Haven’t spoke in two years. But this opened a whole new perspective of how to communicate with her if we ever were to patch things up.

[@MCMLXXXIX1989]

Sounds a lot like what happened with my brother and his former best friend. He'd put forth much more effort into the relationship than she did. It got to the point where the most effort she would put in was merely calling him best friend.

[@KtotheB1218]

Creative Fame wow!!! Same for me. Reaching out and putting the effort drains you.

[@DanaitTecle]

Friendship breakups are so hard and it is so nice to see you both have this conversation even five years later, it gives me hope. Having this kind of convo without the intentions of necessarily becoming close friends again is so beautiful and mature as hell.

[@hdyhd4539]

Me and best friend broke up about a year ago, a few months ago we sat down and talked about the issue. There’s no bad blood anymore, but I decided to not rekindle the friendship. Because I don’t need that type of negativity in my life, if we see each other in public it’s always a “hi and bye” thing and I’m totally fine with it being that way🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

[@imam212]

Saaame

[@CG-kr4he]

I just broke up with my ex ‘’best’ friend. I don’t see myself wanting to rekindle this friendship and I think that’s best! I felt it was very toxic and I was being used. This video makes me happy with my decision.

[@BlizzyBry]

I’m a TGAW subscriber and was distraught during the Shandrea Lewdram disbandment. Like I subscribed to both of your channels but I felt like a kid in a divorce-like mad uncomfortable and bitter lol but supportive. But this video did a lot for me and I’m sobbing because I have 2 ex-best friends that I had a falling out with and haven’t spoke to in 3 years. I thought I was over it, like we casually follow one another online but we don’t speak lol-but watching this video made me realize how angry I am about the falling out. Im so emotional because I don’t want to do the work that Andrea is talking about. Like it’s overwhelming and my anxiety just wont let me live. But I’m going to do it, this video was the push-thanks

[@itsmeLori]

This is such an awesome way to do a sponsored video. Love everything about this. A real story to learn from, a real friendship to rebuild. ❤️

[@bugerigar1212]

Just broke up with my best friend from childhood after a long falling out period. This video and the comments on here have helped me so much. It’s nice to know that so many people have gone through something similar. It’s so different than a romantic partner for me, it’s been feeling like if I couldn’t/didn’t want a friendship to continue it’s something unsalvageable about me and my character. Thanks everyone for sharing your stories, it’s good to know that sometimes good people just don’t get along forever, even as friends.

[@kristimartinez7528]

I'm so sorry..it's incredibly painful. Unfortunately, it's not recognized like a romantic relationship is..but I believe it hurts just as much or even more. Hang in there!

[@chrissyLoved]

I’ve had “best friends” & the end was always explosive, petty & unnecessary. I’m glad you got closure.

[@foreverMelloYT]

"Take them to the jungle." I haven't watched the whole video, but my goodness. I can tell I am in for a treat. Two mature adults able to sit down and be vulnerable after many years of not speaking shows so much growth.

[@AmbersCloset]

“Love someone enough to give them blank pages” wow!👌🏽This is refreshing to see two strong alpha females that are able to take a step back from themselves & look at the overall picture of their past actions and/or insecurities and share that with each other in a positive way👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽Shan your perspective on life is so beautiful! We’re all so lucky to have you! BUT especially me #BFF ✊🏽❤️😘

[@shanboody]

Bamber ❤️❤️❤️

[@raycarl8747]

I had a best friend for 8+ years and no one truly got me like her. We would laugh for hours whenever together. One day she became short on money and stole a bunch of my property to sell and didn’t tell me until I found my things for sale online. I called the friendship off; nothing has ever hurt me as bad as that. 5 years later, she never apologized to me, or talked to me ever again. She moved out of state and deleted me on social media. I wonder to this day if it was a true friendship.

[@couleurful]

Unpopular Opinions I’m sure it was true friendship. But when she encountered trouble, she decided at that moment that you owed her help on her terms. She became a bad friend by not respecting boundaries.

[@MzMasha2u]

I love that you guys re-connected. I just went though the same thing with my ex-bestfriend. We had a bad falling out and we just reconnected after 12 years. When she reached out to me, I was surprised and I really didn't know what was going on, but once we talked, we had a conversation for hours, it was amazing. I'm glad you ladies talked and have conversation.

[@ericarenee.]

Damn... I've waited sooooo long for this moment. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and my questions answered.

[@shanboody]

That’s really sweet thank you

[@ericarenee.]

Thank you both! It was definitely refreshing and a bit nostalgic. 💕

[@tiffdawn4428]

I wish more girlfriends could do stuff like this. This is something that my mom would do with her friends and that shows how far we’ve gotten or went backwards with communication. Literally everyone is so focused on being the biggest loner, i don’t trust nobody, I’m the realest person ever, everyone else is fake that their pride ends up being their best friend and no one can ever admit when they’re wrong. A lot of people have this victim mindset where they sit back and point the finger and never sit and think about the part they played in it. Great video! Hopefully it inspires more girls to communicate ❤️

[@TheNanamariam]

I would never do business with a friend. Never!

[@oliviamarcus5362]

I broke up with my best friend, a sister really a year ago and we recently rekindled. It's not the same level as before but we are still ride or dies. What I learned is people change. I once thought I would never rekindle with her, but here I am. We both played a roll. She was down on her luck. I always listened to her complaints and was soft on her all the time because I felt bad, even if I wanted to be stern. Then when things started getting bad for me, I couldn't play the nurturing roll. On a particularly low day for both of us I snapped and we didn't talk. We both fed into a negative mindset for each other. Long story short, I realized after a little, I loved her and hoped maturity and space had done us good and guess what it did. Ladies sometimes all you need is space and perspective. If you love someone ,always give them a second chance. Female friendships make your life easier and richer.

[@KuhKneeKuh]

The ex-husband analogy is SOOOOOOO accurate!

[@cannibalisticrequiem]

I broke up with a friend that I knew since 1st grade a few years ago. It wasn't over anything in particular, we just didn't talk much, and went our separate ways. It wasn't until early February of last year, when I found out from her brother that I dated ten years ago, was that the reason he dumped me, was because she told him I had lost my virginity to her boyfriend at the time, and was lying to her brother about never having sex before. Tbh, I wasn't at all surprised to hear this. Ever since we had first met, she had a habit of lying about everything, and using people, so while I had hoped over the years she would grow up, she never did and I knew she would eventually fuck me over in some way. Good riddance to trash I say.

[@SonsOfLorgar]

Jes that's so messed up, and your ex friend sounds as if she might have issues that need professional psychiatrical help. At least she's not one of your problems to worry over anymore :)

[@Vincisomething]

Yeah I've dropped friends I've known for years in high school. Surprisingly, it's a lot easier than I thought, but no one likes holding on to trash.

[@whoswhowho4872]

Yeah that friendship was a tko (total knock out). Glad you let homegirl go Sis. She was a hater since 1st grade.

[@desireep.3459]

Jes I often stood on the side of being generous, but later looked through the window and realized I was being used. That really pisses me off when you think your helping but you’re actually enabling bad behavior.

[@AdeVeronica]

Sounds like she has NPD

[@v.velarde3694]

Yes I have overcome a friendship breakup I cut my ex bestie straight off. I tried to have one last convo with her and she immediately cut me off and went on a tangent so I bluntly said that was it. If you cant take time to listen to what I have to say and only care about always being right and having the last word and always wanting to be the victim I just couldn't do it anymore and I didn't have time for it any longer. But it was great for me it felt like a huge weight was lifted and I began to truly value others I still had as friend and I really took time to delve into what each friend offered and was about and what I offered to them. I now do not take the word 'friend' lightly and I don't use it loosely.

[@WatchMeEat]

Good for you hun!! Sometimes it's necessary to cut people off.

[@cynthiawheeler9425]

Dejavue

[@ericaphillips6557]

Same girl same

[@jasminemiller5843]

👏👏👏100% agree with this comment because I can relate my ex best friend was very toxic and acted just like this

[@savionne90]

This reminds me of my relationship with one of my best friends... I would love to sit down and have an adult conversation about what went wrong why we are not as close, and how we both feel about it. Hopefully one day we can

[@jayceyourboy]

Queen Da' same

[@yanikeonpurpose]

You know what... I didn’t even realise I wasn’t the only person to have gone through this! My friend of about 10 years just decided never to speak to me again after a girly holiday. I had no idea/ still have no idea what I did wrong & that was 6 years ago! I just moved on with my life thinking well she didn’t like something about me so whatever, life goes on... but the fact that many women seem to do this going ghost thing has me intrigued 🤔

[@grilledcheese9297]

but that's life. you may never get that opportunity just got to keep it moving

[@Olacoker]

Wow I rarely comment on videos but I really appreciated this. Breakups between friends are harder than breakups between lovers, and I love seeing two ex friends discussing the downfall and resolution. I needed to see this today.

[@elle.roiproductions]

I was a Girls Gone Wild fan and I had no idea you guys had a falling out. I recently ended a 14-year friendship with my best friend and your friendship with Andrea sounded alike like ours. We never fought but we kept things that were really bothering to ourselves. We didn't know how to be good friends to each other as adults. losing your best friend is like losing the love of your life. Although I think ending the friendship was for the best I still love her deeply and want the best for her. This was beautiful and I hope you both are proud of yourselves to be able to get to this point. Thank you both for sharing this.

[@VWill09]

shortiduwop410 So understand

[@Montanalaure]

I felt like while this conversation was very necessary and did a whole lot more good than not having one at all, I don't think Andrea took much ownership of her part in the fall out. It was more 'I felt this way, and you did this so I did that', whilst Shan just sat and listened. When Shan spoke, it was from a place of love and understanding, 'I didn't realize/had I changed my perspective/I was wrong to...' etc. Even the way Andrea went about talking about her depression; as someone with my own mental health issues, the way in which you speak to a friend or rather, educate a friend, isn't through 'you don't understand and you're uneducated'. If they are a close friend, and it is something you address, do so with compassion, patience and again, love. We're all here to learn

[@peacesunflower]

Laure M I completely agree!!! I’ve been scrolling down the comments to see if anyone said what I was thinking already! This was not a mutually mature conversation. It almost seems like Andrea is victimizing herself and placing the blame on Shannon. And it seems like she didn’t really value Shannon in the first place. And I know some of the things Andrea is saying to her hurt Shannon. I can just feel it through the screen. The way she is speaking to her is kind of blunt and reckless. But that’s just what I’ve perceived from this. Maybe I’m taking it the wrong way but it seems like she hasn’t recovered from whatever wounds she had or doesn’t wasn’t to take responsibility for hurting Shannon.

[@beefstew4721]

She’s a Leo I promise u

[@Lola77971]

I didn't see that at all. I feel like Andrea took responsibility several times throughout the video. A couple examples 1) She took responsibily when she mentioned that she pushed her aside due to the new relationship. 2) She explained that part of the reason she pushed her away was due to her mental health issues.

[@whoswhowho4872]

Shannon appears to be a good listener.

[@mostylestv708]

“That friendship was enough”, I love that.

[@tavianastar21]

Sometimes one person may be ready to resolve the conflict, but the other is still going through their own problems. Everything takes time and I think you both are very mature for doing this! 😊

[@coolskunk6186]

This enlightened me 💗

[@ambermartinez4836]

Is that Hazel from Degrassi??? If so, she looks AMAZING!

[@brip0091]

I want to have a conversation like this with those I’ve fallen out with. I feel like it would remove some weight after so long

[@DesignzRUs1]

AGREED.

[@MelissaDenise]

Such an OG Duo!!! Hats off to the both of you for having the courage/maturity to have this convo! 🙌🏾💜

[@Vincisomething]

I used to have a best friend in middle school, but when I moved schools, we kind of lost touch. Now I have a different best friend of 11 years

[@Leslie.G]

Wow, this was amazing. I have so many ex-friends that i wish i didn't lose all contact with but i could never be brave enough to reach out to them. Also, I'm still in my depressed stage and am often embarrassed and sort of ashamed of the last 7ish years of my life. I wish i had taken a completely different route in life and that anxiety and embarrassment I feel about my past prevents me from literally doing any of the things I've thought about doing (including reaching out to old friendships). I need help :-(

[@luvleefox01]

I wish all people were mature enough to sit down and resolve issues. I have an ex-BFF who stopped speaking to me and when I tried to rekindle the friendship, she said she didn’t wanna be friends anymore. So I was like, ok. Never spoke to her again..

[@Tomi_janet15]

My Lips Stay Pink 😭😭

[@DesignzRUs1]

SAME. If more people took the time to work out things, I think a lot of relationships would last these days. I’m so sick of people giving up on others who they supposedly “love” over childish bullshit. The girls in the video are so mature and strong for facing each other to work things out. I’m sorry your efforts were rejected but hey, life goes on.; It’s their loss.

[@KasandraWilliams]

I actually enjoyed this conversation. I had a friend that stopped talking years ago. We are still friends on Facebook and Instagram. We both like each other’s stuff. But it’s weird because we just don’t speak to each other anymore. I felt like it was too hard to be her friend and it was starting to stress me out, so I just cut her off. I do miss our friendship. This video kinda makes me wanna call her. Kinda. I don’t know yet.

[@caribbeanbeauty3772]

Kasandra Williams haha mine actually blocked me and all social media lol

[@jehannebobb]

I followed those girls are wild since the beginning (Toronto days) and seeing all of what you guys gone through is amazing to see this reconnect and hopefully more dialogue in the future

[@jonasalden29201]

This is SO mature. If only all friends could own their shit like this!

[@uschilou]

Andrea, thank you SO MUCH for speaking about depression and mental health. I relate so much to how you expressed your own feelings and the reactions of others towards your depression. When you just want someone to ask if you're ok! We really need to be more open and educated about mental health. I get the same way, isolating and wanting to just shut the whole world out.

[@katiewatkins7562]

This is such an open minded adult conversation. It's so relatable to multiple situations. Thank you for being brave enough to be so vulnerable to the internet.

[@TheElsaAlvarado]

Omg she was in Cadet Kelly!!!

[@shanboody]

CORRECT

[@tercial]

One of my favorite Disney channel movie

[@taylorwilson2597]

TheElsaAlvarado that’s where I seen her from

[@paulma222]

And degrassi!

[@kbri-316]

TheElsaAlvarado omggg that is herr

[@SuperMariposa91]

I had a best friend, and honestly I what I did was so so terrible. Now that I am older I have so much guilt and I know that she will never talk to me, even though I have tried to reach out to her. I apologised, and I understand that she has forgiven me but she will never forget what I did.. I am older and wiser I suppose, but I do miss her...

[@soleil2269]

You admitted that you were wrong that’s commendable 💕

[@jahotgal01]

Forgive yourself

[@lifeisgolden41]

What did you do if you don’t mind saying?

[@lauraska95]

@@jahotgal01 how do you do that? :/

[@jahotgal01]

@@lauraska95 the same way you forgive others. Step outside if yourself as if you were a friend. Do it from a loving place and tell yourself you did the best you could do with the knowledge and information you had at that time. Then mentally hug yourself and let it go.

[@shanty2404]

This was everything…ended a childhood friendship once I graduated and started a new life. It was left with no explanation to why or any closure. And I truly needed to hear this episode. It’s been 11 yrs and I’m not sure we’ll ever have a sit down like this but I’ve prayed and continued to move forward. Friend breakups can be worst than significant breakups in some cases….

[@IsabelleMN11]

my younger self has longed for this video forever!!! i haven't even watched yet but i just wanted to comment to say how excited I am

[@WhenShitGetsRhea]

Okay girls get your “Red Table Talk” on!

[@shanboody]

You know what’s interesting I never thought about that even tho I love that show! This convo was really inspired by content I see on Jubilee and Soul Pancake

[@TWILL50]

I hate when we as women let a man come between our friendships. 100 years from now there will be another great friendship ruined because women do not know how to compartmentalize/separate relationships and friendships.

[@Manik-oj5jq]

Tracey Williams I believe that important component to the solution is that we as individuals as women must own our relationships. We often don't own our relationships cuz it's dictated by what Society thinks is acceptable. Women are often told that husband children and biological family is all bet you need emotionally to grow in to be happy. And this leaves those strong spiritual and emotional bonds that we have developed outside of these people unconsciously problematic to our ultimate to the perconceived goal of the emotional nuclear family.

[@kadurr1]

I don’t think it was the added relationship but the ability to balance. People want to take up all the space or love in your life, that it became about the new relationships. When in reality they missed the ball and failed to communicate when they were unhappy or had a disagreement. The relationship foundation was having a breakdown from two young girls moving into two grown women with different visions. They didn’t have the tools to differentiate what was happening and pulling them apart. They were experiencing growth, that required them to separate.

[@SakuraUploads]

Bizarre how this video was recommended to me right around the time where this resonates with me HARD. I recently (I''m talking a night ago) reached out to my very best friend who I lost contact with when I was 17. I am now 23. I reached out in a very similar way. I could relate so much with your ex-best friends feelings of guilt over being unreachable and not wanting to socialise. With me my reasons for being that way was because of severe depression though. Like your friend said in this video, "when I don't want to talk to anyone I don't let anyone know that" - so relatable. I honestly feel like people who were once very close will always have a special bond no matter what.

[@vcelaya3]

I love how you both were able to talk normally after so many years. For me that showed just how close you two really were at one point in your lives. The one thing that I have stressed to my bff for 8yrs now was that I want us to fight with the purpose of resolving any issues at the end and that we promised to always be brutally honest with what we are feeling towards each other. We both are secure in our friendship to know that no matter what we’re disagreeing about, we love each other and are still best friends!!!! TBH I love fighting with her 😂😂😂 cuz she’s an extremely intense Scorpio 🔥♏️ but she’s my yang to my yin and I wouldn’t trade her for the world 😊

[@JordanReedYT]

I can definitely see the personality differences in their seating posture.

[@Livontheg0]

Jordan Reed wow, that’s such a good point. they always say like 70% of communication is nonverbal

[@JordanReedYT]

Olivia Body language is what always gives insight to your mind. Although some people like me have become experts at using these skills to manipulate people for personal interests and to establish competence. Sadly most people only see what's on the surface and that leaves them vulnerable.

[@Lady9T]

Can you please explain more?

[@JordanReedYT]

Lady9T Shannon is more relaxed, while Andrea is more closed off

[@JordanReedYT]

Kelsey Stewart Every time she starts to get emotional she looks away.

[@maryannchan8630]

I haven't spoken to my ex friend in 7 years. At all. No texts, no calls, no response on facebook, nothing. I didn't do anything to her but she bullied me. I heard from someone else that she was going through some hard stuff. So she got her karma. I hope she's a better person now.

[@ladyx1541]

As someone who hasn't spoken to her ex bestie for about 8 yrs...This in an odd sense gave me closure of my past friendship. I have no motivation to sit and chat with her.. Big kudos to you guys for being able to just speak and clear the air.

[@EmmeIsNotHere]

Love this. It’s very mature of you both to speak on this. And I love the respect that you have for each other.

[@MissJayDeeMoni]

This was so refreshing to see because honestly I’ve fallen out with several friends when I was younger but always ignored the problem and just put an imaginary wall up without discussing why I withdrew from the friendship. I definitely relate with Andrea wanting to reach out to someone but being overwhelmed by the work. It can be exhausting and I think sometimes you know the other person isn’t going to be receptive to changing their own flaws so the friendship can move forward. Thank you to you both! 😘

[@mwxyz828]

I just realized this is homegirl from CADET KELLY!!! 😍

[@babd7176]

MY BEST FRIEND AND I STOPPED SPEAKING ALMOST 17 YEARS AGO OVER A MISUNDERSTANDING. AFTER YEARS OF US BOTH ASKING MY TWIN ABOUT EACH OTHER, WE FINALLY SPOKE AND WE HAVEN'T MISSED A BEAT, SINCE.

[@MsLiberianLady]

U really know how to tell your stories or just stories so organically... thanks ladies for sharing something so personal

[@ShaqSeymour]

It's uncomfortable to watch because this is a uncomfortable situation to have with someone you went thru alot with. I'm going thru this atm.

[@Ivluve]

Now that's how women come together and mend friendships. I wish you guys the very best.

[@NinaRae614]

This was so responsible and mature. You ladies are amazing!

[@caribbeanbeauty3772]

I had a friend that i love dearly . However,i found out she was bad talking me . I was so shocked because we were hanging out the day before i found out . I was so immature that i cut her off completely without even telling her y because i was so hurt . Furthermore,one day she texted me and explain her side of her the story . I know for a fact she was talking bad about me . 3 years later i still love her and want her back in my life . However , i know that will not be a smart move . To conclude , i had to learn how to live without her . I hope one day that we get to speak face face just like you 2 ... until then i pray that she is doing well .

[@CiCIgirl808]

Its Lit the same thing happened to me. It sucks because I’m the type of person who lets my friends know almost everything, the mistakes that I’ve made, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I do it because I feel like we’re all friends and we should learn from each others mistakes. But she was airing out all my dirty laundry. I knew it was her because the only other person I would tell things to was is my mom. She kept denying that she said anything about me but the truth was obvious. It’s crazy because even after all that she has done I keep thinking that maybe I could’ve done something other than end it the way I did. Like maybe I could’ve stayed friends with her but instead of telling her everything, I should’ve just told her the things that I didn’t care about other people knowing? But what’s the fun in that? What’s the point?

[@caribbeanbeauty3772]

CiCIgirl808 me to . The person who told me was “supposed” to be her friend . A girl that I’ve never met in my life knew so much about my personal life . It was freaking crazy . Smh . But that was a lesson learned lol

[@Abmarp]

Its Lit sad

[@cclibre3832]

If she wasn’t saying loving things about you, it’s time to love yourself. Wish her well yes, but identify that true friendship requires respect and trust first. You can love from afar ; but ,when we choose to be actively involved in a relationship with anyone it should be healthy.

[@memyselfandi5310]

My ex best friend from 4/5 years ago bad talks bad about me to mutual friends to this day. It really hurts and I want her to understand why what she did was wrong and how much it hurt but I know she never will. It's messed up but despite her jealousy and bad talking I still miss her. I love her like a sister I think I always will. I don't hate her I hate her behaviour and wish she didn't dislike me I want to reach out to her but it's not a good idea..

[@chyyeaboi]

Apart from being excited to see you guys in a video together, I am happy that the subject of best friend break ups is slowly becoming a conversation. I never realized how a best friend breakup that I had really messed with me psychologically. I believe it took place 7 years ago, but I still feel very closed off to people and don't want to experience that kinda closeness again. However, I recently moved abroad and I find that I am slowly breaking that wall down. It feels good. You guys are amazing for this!

[@AleahTrends]

This was such a mature conversation, it was really inspiring to watch two young black woman discuss their feelings and work things out through articulating their thoughts and feelings so clearly to each other.

[@g.pearson4726]

Moral of the story Don’t go into business w friends or family It’s great to see you two work it out. Life is toooo darn short to continue to not speak to people you once cared for. Unless, they are a bad ex. I will forgive and be cordial to them but not interested in going any farther then that. Lol Thanks for sharing