EX FACTOR |MOVING PAST HEARTBREAKS | PASTOR IREN LIVE

[@elsabankole1219]

One thing I've learnt from breakups is don't lose yourself in any relationship. Maintain healthy friendships, let your spiritual life be on point, know how to stand alone even while dating someone. If it ends, it's easier to move on that way 🤗

[@favoursamuel_]

You took the words from me!! Thanks for sharing 💜

[@immanuelladuke5921]

So much wisdom, Elsa 💯

[@elsabankole1219]

@@immanuelladuke5921 ❤️❤️

[@deolaronipede372]

💯💯💯💯

[@Inspiredfingers]

exactly

[@retouchbystrength8080]

One year later this video still holds water. Thank you Pastey

[@jennsssss]

Thank you so much, Pastey. I think it’s also important to everyone hurting that you give yourself grace. Go easy on yourself. It won’t always hurt, I promise. You’ll get better with time. And don’t let nasty breakups make you give up on love. God still has sons/daughters that will finish you with love. ❤️

[@dikamsiyoung]

🤝🤝

[@JemQuadri]

Watching this 2 years later and it’s still as powerful as the first time I saw it. Thank you Apostle for your labor of love over our spiritual and psychological health💛

[@thejoybliss]

Thank you Pastey. This was so insightful although I’m married 😁 but I’ll just say one or two things I learnt from my own experience. Be secured in the love of God. Truth is nobody can assure you of forever love like God. It’s really scary to go into a dating relationship when you have no/deep relationship with God. Be secure in what God has said about you. It’s funny how we can hold on to what our dating partners say to us more than what God has said to us. Remember that Love is no man’s idea. The person who is Love himself has shown you the greatest love so be secure in it. This will help us a lot in our dating relationships. 2. Love yourself! You can’t love others healthily when you don’t have a healthy love of yourself. The reason you’ll become clingy and naggy is because many times we don’t know what we worth. Knowing what you worth is beyond just wearing nice things and packaging yourself when in actual sense you really don’t love and appreciate yourself and it shows in the choices and decisions you make. Be secure in your love with God, then love yourself so you can love others healthily. 3. Be okay with being single. Enjoy yourself. Love yourself enough to want to date yourself. Enjoy your company. Stop always seeking for relationship with an opposite sex because you don’t like to be all by yourself 🌚 4. Have or be a part of a community of people that believes in you, spur you, encourage you and add some value to your life while you also add some value to their lives. Have good friends and don’t make your dating partner your only friend in the world. 5. Stay celibate!!! It’s harder to break free from a dating relationship when sex is involved. Take it or leave it. Get to know each other in other important areas NOT ON THE BED, that is one chance in some cases life chance. Joo get! 6. In a dating relationship, keep an open mind. Omoooo anything can happen anytime and it’s simply because you are dating a human being not God. Many times we are dating someone who is still trying to figure their lives. So don’t be shock when they wake up one day and say, “God said or I can’t do this anymore”. Be ready for anything! I’ll advice don’t give the whole of you so when gbege happen you still have alot of amazing stuff in you intact. Nothing spoil. I’m not saying you should not be serious o everything na sense. Give small small and watch. Date with majorly your brain not your heart or your body. I know you date with the intention of getting married that’s very good but I need you to know that not all dating relationship will end up in marriage so that’s why you should see dating as a time to check this person out to see if we can go on to the next phase or we just call it a day here and now. Many times we give all of ourselves in dating that when you’re served breakfast you think all hope is lost. 7. Dear single people, Love is not mushy mushy in real life. The earlier you know the better for you and the choices you make. There was nothing mushy about Jesus who is God coming to die for human beings he created. So when you’re making your choices remember that a good man or woman is not known by how they make you feel but by their character, choices, intentionality and consistency over a long period of time. Love and lust and infatuation may look alike at the beginning o but in the long run Love always stands out. Give yourself time. Give the relationship time. Before you start saying He’s the one or she’s the one, take a chill pill. Let your YES to that person not come from the butterflies that he/she makes you feel but from observation, prayers, what people around him/her have to say etc One of the best things you can do for yourself as a single person is to invest in yourself. Improve on your skills. Learn something new. Get involved in things that will better you. Build yourself. Teach your mind the right way to think and see you. Stop waiting to feel valued or loved by one guy or lady somewhere. Don’t settle for just anything. Think reasonably highly of yourself. Be willing to walk out on things or people that don’t mean well for you. Be whole! You are only complete in Christ not in a relationship with an opposite sex. Love God, Live life to its full. Everybody will be alright. Cheers to the amazing singles up here❤️

[@ijeomaudechukwu7008]

Thanks for this @TheJoyBliss

[@ugoisgraced]

I love you, Joy. Thank you. I learned a lot

[@peaceimafidon4629]

Wow. This is amazing. Thanks

[@Iamemmanuelekpo]

So amazing

[@janekareem9987]

Gems everywhere in this comment

[@sunmolaa]

A summary 1) Accept the fact that people have free choice. They don't need a good excuse to break up with you. No matter how painful it is , if they don't want to be with you anymore , they have the choice to leave. Even if Jesus paid the ultimate price by dying for our sins, people still have the choice to not accept Him. 2) When you're dating, don't focus too much on the butterflies. Discern and have realistic expectations. 3) Nobody above breakfast . 4) If you see yourself as someone of value, it shouldn't be much of a problem. Believe without an iota of doubt how special you are . Don't be indifferent , just understand the power of choice that people have and that you're a person of value . You need to have a sense of purpose, something compelling that you're pursuing. 5) Believe that other people will say yes to you . Believe in the Rehoboth God that will make more opportunities for you . TRUST GOD. 6) Many times heartbreaks reveals insecurities , idolatry . sometimes we have an unhealthy attachment to people. Don't latch unto someone who doesn't want you. What do you do when dealing with a breakup? 1) don't stress the why too much. 2). respect their choice - don't beg, don't cry, keep it brief, don't nag , don't block but restrict the person, you can delete the number 3)have a no contact period 4) Be positive , be fun , pamper yourself 5) spend time with people who believe in you. 6) Work on yourself for you . 7) Build your esteem. 8) Be prepared to run into them on occasion, and if you do run into them, be happy , keep the rapport fun , light hearted and brief . 9) Don't be idle.

[@afroingaround]

I’ll never eat breakfast again in Jesus’ name🥲 but if I do, I’m better prepared to handle it. Thank you Pastey!

[@oworose3345]

I believe a part of renewing the mind.. involves understanding how the mind works. Which brings in the place of psychology and social science. A lot of failed or problematic relationships are from childhood trauma... and Christians aren’t exempt. As the church , we need to try to dig deeper into unpacking and rewiring trauma and insecurities.

[@biancaihua5841]

"Breakup exposes idolatry." I agree with you, sir. I remember when my ex-fiance broke up with me, I cried for days, weeks sef. I couldn't even concentrate in church. I felt useless. I felt as if my life was meaningless. I'm very sure the angels in heaven were laughing at me🤣🤣🤣. The breakup not only affected me spiritually and mentally, but also physically. I became ill. I decided to re-surrender my life to Christ and trust Him. Even after going back to God, I was missing my ex. I decided to pray to God about it. Then I had a nightmare that I was married to this ex and he beat me black and blue. I was so caged; he didn't allow me go out. Then I understood what God had been preventing me from all this while. I'm grateful to God o. I honestly am. P.s. My ex saw I was sick and wanted to take me back. I agreed at first, but later refused. You know why? I didn't want to be dependent on him. He was already feeling special sef. I told him I'd forgiven him, and that we were cool. I just didn't want it to look as if my life was meaningless without him. However, he was even saying something like when we came back together, we would revolve and get to know each other for some time. I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm just saying I felt it in my spirit that he didn't want me anymore. I thank God for everything, I honestly do.

[@henryijeoma2228]

When this video was released, my love relationship was just starting. Now it's ended, and I'm here. The pain is much. Very much.

[@thelmakatsande61]

God is kind. A year later. How has been the journey

[@chineduanele1995]

I hope you're healed now. ❤😊

[@adebayokayode2883]

25:47 Believe in the Rehoboth God(God who can create more opportunities for you). When one door is shut he opens another one, If you dig a well and that well is seized just dig another one. Drop the What-Ifs (insecurities) 26:23 Trust God! Brother/Sister. Thank you Pastey🤗

[@amurahappiness2090]

Watching this 2years later. I learnt a whole lot from this video. Thank you so much Pastey❤

[@GideonInnocent]

My Goodness, why didn't i see or hear these words 2 years ago 😪😪😪

[@mitchelledorcas]

This was enlightening, Sir and I would recommend this message to anyone trying to heal from past hurt or currently on the lookout for a relationship. This session solidified some of the lessons (listed below) I learnt over the past years with jara on top.✨ 👉🏿 Water down the ‘unhealthy crave’ that comes with the pressure to be in a relationship. It’s good to desire it but don’t make your world revolve around it. 👉🏿 Have a high estimation of yourself. 👉🏿 Have a life that you enjoy devoting your energy to. This includes Ministry, Friendship, Career, Fun activities. 👉🏿 Give yourself grace. Pace yourself, embrace healing through the help of the Holyghost and wise counsel from friends/accountability figures. 👉🏿 Don’t try to tie the relationship failure to something you did/didn’t do/could have done better. Thank you so much, Pastey.🙏🏿

[@dikamsiyoung]

If you've ever gotten your heart broken, you definitely need to watch this video 🤝 In the event of a heartbreak: - Keep a high self-esteem. - Be cautious with your response - Break ALL forms of communication for a lengthy period of time - Distract yourself with other people and things you can actively participate in. - Evaluate yourself and areas you can work on. - Have an open mind even when the person turns back.

[@Gynaa]

It is very helpful ☺

[@ndakarakevwe2940]

Do not let a relationship take the place of God in your life. So easy to not realize when this begins to happen. Thank you so much Pastey.

[@oyindamoladaramola1760]

This definitely helped me! Like you said, once they've made that decision, there's no point forcing them otherwise ,cause they really have done a lot of thinking and weighings to know that's a decision they want to make! Thank you, God bless you sir!

[@christyokoruwa587]

Thank God for this message, I just experienced heartbreak, am happy I listened, you are indeed a man of wisdom

[@ebubemolokwu]

Thank you Pastey. One important thing I've learned in relationships is that men and women are fundamentally different. Not everyone is a narcissist or manipulative, sometimes it's our knowledge gap that causes our breakfast. A good place to start for me was "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" by John Gray, it's very practical and I learned so much even about myself.

[@dikamsiyoung]

I listened to his talk on the book. Goshhh, so much biological insight 😅

[@ebubemolokwu]

@@dikamsiyoung I can imagine, please link me 🙃

[@gloriaigbor]

Thank you very much for recommending this book. I am currently reading it, and my eyes ate being opened to a whole lot. Thank you once again💯

[@ebubemolokwu]

@@gloriaigbor Yaaaayyyyy, you're welcome.😊

[@oreade8728]

One thing I've learnt was the first thing Pastey said. People have power of choice and it cannot be taken from them. So no matter how "good or perfect" I think a person is for me, they still have the choice to commit to me or not. You can influence a persons choice but you cannot make it and if you happen to succeed in pushing them to make a choice they didnt want to, no one will suffer it more than you.

[@oluwatomisinhephzibah743]

35.00 First time listening to you and it does makes sense. After a break up last year September, I stopped speaking with him from October, didn't block him, only muted his status. And then we jammed at a supermarket last week. He actually saw me first, walked up to me and tapped me at the back. Believe you me, it was the coolest feeling ever. No hates regrets or excitement. It just felt like meeting an old school mate you didn't use to talk. He tried bringing up the break up issue, I cut it short. Funny part is he didn't even remember my name or he pretended to not. I chuckled and left without reminding him.

[@balogungbemisola9968]

He didn't remember your Name😂🤭

[@BearersNetwork]

Oh the intro music soothes my soul,I'm able to sit, reflect and look at nature. I'm grateful for the healing God is putting me through. I have been deceived so many times thinking it was love not knowing that I was taken advantage of because I was a good person. I'm believing that there are God's sons out there that will give the authenticity of God's love and companionship.

[@sunmolaa]

The most important lessons I've learned from breakups is that you can do without that person you think you can't do without.

[@MotherOfManyNations]

Build yourself so much that whoever wants to come back in to your life that's if you are led to accept the person, he or she must have to do *2 of what they ever did or went through before because now you have raised the bar tremendously 💯

[@sarahawewor5047]

I just got served breakfast few days ago and I'm still in school. He said he couldn't carry Ministry and deal with Love at the same time. I finished with a presentation from school only to come online and see those messages... twas funny at first tho 😂cuz the same reason i sticked with him and vision i believed in is actually the same reason i got dumped. And if you see how non chalantly he sounded ehn, you'll know that it has been in his mind ever since. The only thing I sent to him was a laughing emoji and "GOD BLESS YOU". I didn't call or rant or whatever even up till now. I cry when I'm alone tho and it's usually tough for me when I just wake up in the morning. I've already started the challenge asif I knew and I actually have a question: I've been in contact with his elder sister who's married. I doubt he has told her we've broken up. Is there any need for me to do so? For her to be aware from my end?

[@ibukunolanipekun7120]

Hi Sarah, I'm really sorry this happened to you. I hope you're in a better place now

[@wordyarts]

Emotional attachment once detached from is a very hard thing to reconnect with, what helped me grow out of being bitter after my first ended it with me was taking love as a responsibility towards her more serious while respecting the boundaries. It took a year after i struggled with trying to get over her, but in that period, i understood love, chose to respect why it ended and stayed responsible when I'm needed(from a distance sha) .

[@Omotolanivictoria]

Thank Youuu Sooo much Pastor! Wish I learned this much earlier! One thing that stood out most for me was to have a compelling Dream and Purpose and Pursue it. I also learnt that people have choices and they will choose whatever they want, but I must remember that I’m a person of Value

[@danielaileru1380]

Hmmm word prezido🙌

[@rockypearl032]

One of the very thing I learn is that you don't have to go extra mile to satisfy someone so they don't leave you... That doesn't stop them if they actually want to.

[@mirabelanosike7202]

It’s harder to leave when you’ve been intimate with the person. Tbh if the person say they don’t to be in the relationship then we should respect their decision.

[@ellaabah5588]

Thank you for this teaching Pastey! People! Begging is truly counterproductive. No matter how it's doing you, don't do it. You are a person of value my darling❤

[@efefregene]

Thank you Pastey. This video was filled with wisdom I hope never to have to apply, but I'm glad I've been equipped with.

[@emmanuelowolabi12]

Thank you, Pastor Iren. I've learnt to see myself as a spec no matter what. Believe in the Rehoboth God. And not to beg. Very important. Thanks again, sir.

[@rachealada-eze7571]

Thank you so much Pastey for today's teaching. I did most of the things you mentioned today in my past relationships. As at the time,I felt it was just a coconut head activation mode, but now I'm so glad I dealt with things the way I did. I'm beginning to see why I still have healthy formal relationships with them.

[@damilolaakinwonmi602]

Never get too attached to anyone no matter how long you’ve been in a relationship, it makes it easier for one to move on and not dwell on the hurt

[@preciousoseni1427]

This is really interesting. An intentional hard work I must say. For me, It's not breakfast from romantic relationships. It's friendship. I get confused sometimes. Should I withdraw from people instead, to avoid the unnecessary pain that comes with being treated in a wrong way by friends one is loyal to? One keeps learning.

[@nzeribelove3302]

I honestly cannot believe it took me this long to subscribe to your channel. Geez!!!

[@Juliana_Mutheu.]

19:09 Ask serious questions!!! I really relate with this concept. It's soo much better and mature than what people have made conversations to be, even on the level of friendship .

[@PhilipThrives]

Thank you Pasteyy for sharing. The words you speak resonates deeply and are filled with wisdom. God bless you immensely sir. 🙌🙌

[@dorcasolasubomilawal1682]

Thank you Pastey! This was instructive! I think one thing I have realized especially in relationships with unbelievers is this: you can actually be manipulative and have good intentions- when you want to be assistant HolySpirit, you might end up forcing your beliefs on the other person..never ever forget the POWER of CHOICE

[@umohvictoria1834]

This was so helpful, not just for romantic breakups, friendship breakups too

[@victorianjideka7003]

"Nobody above BREAKFAST."

[@isaacolasupo6237]

Sincerely, sincerely and sincerely this is divine. This teaching is smart and full of wisdom. More blessings to you🙌🙌🙌🙌

[@tkay8904]

Thank you for this Pastor Iren. You mentioned that if 'you want out, don't use I haven't heard from God as an excuse' but what if you don't want out but still haven't heard from God on the matter?

[@ucheomaonwutuebe]

The no contact period is key. If you can’t handle it, perhaps it’s easy to unfollow but not block .

[@brownblessing8504]

Thank you so very much for this teaching pastey….. It came just at the right time And I think I handled it well 😂😁😁 I’m proud of myself lol

[@ugoisgraced]

I love the green chair

[@testifyaboutjesuswithbolaj5030]

Any relationship that keeps you out of or hinders God's purpose for you is not a relationship at all. To add, if you've had contact with the family, after a breakup it is better you stay afar off, you can't be calling your ex in-laws to be and so on. Your salvation is very important to God any relationship that wants to frustrate that in your life should not be kept. If you are not growing spiritually in that relationship but you are constantly being drained please step out and get fresh air not minding the persons involved. If your partner is a pastor, Bishop, Evangelist but he or she is not helping my bro and sis you need your sanity in place to hear God well! Also work on your weaknesses and lean on the Holy Spirit.

[@fiastixx7742]

I am so blessed to be here listening.... What I have learnt is not to go into relationship early in life

[@iboroajames6183]

Chai, I wish I listened to this message last month oo, things would have different. I love you Pastor Iren, everything you said... on point!. I thank God I just went online, saw this and watched it. This has changed the game for me!. Thank you so much!. May the oil on your head never dry and May God give you more wisdom to teach me... ok and others

[@AJglorious_124]

I was truly blessed by this...God bless you Man of God

[@ologunlekoomowunmi2665]

You must believe that you have options too✍🏼Thank you Pastey for this wonderful teaching. It really is an eye opener.

[@adeolasulaiman6782]

I wish I saw this earlier, thank you pastey

[@theijeoma]

Thank you Pastey. This was filled with so much practicable wisdom.

[@busolakosh1]

Nobody is above breakfast

[@Honest.pie.]

God bless you sir, I love you sir, thanks for this!

[@faithbello371]

Pastor Irene Shook the Tables😂😂 no micing words💪💪thank you same Irony for this🙏❤ that's the same energy people should use to break up maturedly without telling liessss biko.

[@RhaelIsraella]

Wowww

[@jolaosoomotoyosi5170]

Am blessed with this, thanks sir , more grace

[@sundaythamos6796]

I have learnt that you can never convince anybody to like you. Once you notice that they don't feel the same way you do for them just advice yourself and back off. Even if the relationship has already started.

[@Diamantexyz]

I’m so glad that this was addressed as I decided to unpack hurt from my past relationship. Thank you so much Pasteyyyy

[@joychibuzor7706]

VALUE YOURSELF...THANK YOU PASTEYY

[@arinzeekpereamaka3873]

Thank you Sir for this topic. This is rare, God bless you Sir. It's bringing healing to many like myself.

[@Oamenoluwakemisolayetunde]

What I have Learnt from Breakup is Las Las you go dey alright. You will see the bigger picture and the Red flags you refused to acknowledge, your eye go clear and you will finally Thank God for the break up.

[@janekareem9987]

I really like this one. Thank you, sir.

[@Afolasademi]

Thank you for this Pastey ❤️ knowing who you are is one of the strongest points you raised tonight.

[@victoryvictory1277]

Thank you Pastey... currently going through this....

[@taiwoolamide8746]

Thank you pastor Iren, God bless you sir.

[@gospelomosayin4802]

Thanks so much for this sir

[@evangiltebo8449]

Was greatly blessed.Thank you Sir.

[@alieneonyinyechi7981]

It's the is food a joke to you. Thank you sir.

[@beccadbeloved6243]

Thank you so much sir... I really appreciate this session You are too exact with everything you say,one thing I know for sure from experience is that begging never changes anything...it only reduces your worth...and also like Pst said a relationship is not meant to be just for saying sweet things,talk about the future,learn new things(This is another mistake I made in my past relationship) Like I said every part of this was a blessing to me because I have experienced most examples stated Thank you so much pastor 🙇🙇

[@emmanuelsamuel2283]

Thank you so much pastee

[@Bent_base]

Very insightful Pasteyyyy !! Thank you Always been in the team of bearing it all and owning my chest but overtime I realized it’s not healthy. It does more harm to you in all honesty. It’s important to look out for yourself. Recuperation starts from you first regardless of the situation. A sound mind encourages better decisions. Always be kind to yourself.

[@goodnessarome7830]

Thank you Pastor Iren. This was an insightful session. This reminded me of the need to have a good self-esteem and a healthy outlook to rejection.

[@ogooluwadahunsi6804]

Although this is not a recent video but… it works! And I think it’s a great advice

[@gloriaayeni8510]

Thank you so much Pastey! God bless you for this! Breakups aren't the end of the world, I wish more people would watch this and know that they still can and should have a good life after a break-up!

[@preciousmomentswithtasha353]

In my case I had to see my ex every Sunday as we served in the same department at church,but by the grace of God I was apply some of the points indicated .

[@oluwatobiayomide389]

THE LORD IS YOUR STRENGTH SIS

[@MercyDike]

Nobody is over breakfast

[@testifyaboutjesuswithbolaj5030]

I will forever be grateful to God that my last relationship did not work out. He told me(in the voice note he sent) that if I knew how God loved him,I wouldn't have broken up with him🤣🤣🤣' there is lot more to say but I thank the Lord for His Mighty deliverance for both of us! If we've had our introduction I would have entered one chance🤣🤣🤣 Dear bro,Dear Sis, find purpose and partner will find you!

[@chris-dp4he]

Thank you pastor, i'm blessed and inspired by this teaching.

[@thelmaamachree]

Thank you so much for this Pastey. I have a question I’d be more than grateful to get your insights on. How do you navigate heart break in friendships, I feel like we are more open to heart breaks in relationships. But when it happens in friendships it’s really really hard to navigate through and it hurts even more in my experience and we barely talk about it.

[@phoebe_toria4337]

Thank you Pastor ❤️

[@preciousogbonna1205]

Thank you for this sir❤️

[@MotherOfManyNations]

Thank you so much Pastey❤️

[@mikeliahamilton429]

An enlightened live 🙌🙌

[@victorianjideka7003]

❤️🔥💯

[@shalomakaelu]

Pastey, thank you so much for this video. Please can you talk specifically about what one can do when one is constantly being ghosted?

[@thelmae2514]

Thank you Pastey for this !

[@Peter_Wise]

NOBODY ABOVE GOD

[@ayokunledavid]

Don't ever believe what someone tells u he/she does, watch and look closely what they do. Humans are what they do, not what they say. Watch and pray

[@dahmilola]

This really blessed me, thank you sir

[@damilareadeeso6175]

Heartbreaks reveal idolatry… so true

[@damilareadeeso6175]

I really learnt a lot from this message. It’s been counter productive for me in the past, I did what I’ve never done before, I said what I wasn’t supposed to say and it’s made it’s even worse. Spend time with people who believe in you, have fun and push to get better.

[@olaoluwachris3139]

Nobody above break fast

[@bukolaoladejo]

Thank you Pastey ❣❣

[@chiziteremonyenekwe]

What of people like us that knows everybody's numbers off-heart?

[@tolulopeayemobola1446]

Thank you for this Pastey. This was amazing for me. I just want to ask one thing: When will the video for "THE GLORY OF THE LORD REVEALS WHO I AM" be out? The wait has been since Reboot Camp 2019

[@tolulopeoyedero7760]

Thank you Pastey.

[@Juliana_Mutheu.]

This is Soo helpful.

[@MotherOfManyNations]

One thing is sure whoever who want to come back won't come when you are begging. I once dated someone who said God told him we weren't meant to be years ago and I tried talking and having a proper conversation and all it was counter productive. Fast forward to years later and recently he's always in my DM saying how he misunderstood what God said at the time🙄. This is just to buttress the fact that begging, or being counter never brings any result!

[@toniagibson3454]

Thank you pastay

[@ayooluwaldowuebunoluwa6735]

Thanks pastor, am so blessed by this, pls how can I get dating intelligently by your wife

[@toluwaborioyewumi]

Rehoboth 🙌🏾