EXPOSING THE TRUTH ABOUT DAYCARE: sharing my experience working in the child care industry

We've all been told that daycare is a great place to utilize when choosing to go back to work. However, I worked for a school year in a great daycare and there's definitely some politically incorrect information that we DEFINITELY need to be talking about! Join me as I chat about my experiences working in childcare and the problems I see with industrialized child care,
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[@judithpretha5863]

Thank you for sharing! I'm based in Malaysia and so happened to come across your video.. I was in the workforce before quiting my legal career to become a stay at home mom to my now 2 year old.. I made the decision based on my guilt of having to leave my son behind with strangers😅 ..and i got a lot of backlash for it.. my family still thinks that I made a very unwise decision to quit my career and stay home with my son..I'm pregnant with my second son and I will definitely not be rejoining the workforce anytime soon.. but its still hard everyday dealing with societal expectations on whats expeced of a modern mother.. my own mother says there's nothing wrong with dropping my child off at a daycare because "children are resilient and will adapt" ..and my father says "if only i went back to work, my son wouldnt be so clingy to me".. its hard hearing so many comments like this overtime... but thank you for sharing your experience as a daycare worker..it really solidified my decision to stay home and be an attentive mom to my children

[@ellianna.keller]

Pinning your comment so others can read! I'm so sorry that there's so many societal and family expectations that make it hard to choose to stay home with your babies ❤ that's such a tough place to be in. (I actually just started working on a video about how society expects women to just go back to work and act and be like men so it's ironic you mention it). You sound like a fantastic mom and I absolutely commend you!!!! ❤❤❤

[@winterwillow1037]

I am in Canada and feel the same way Judith. I just had my third baby a few months ago & have been off since having my first in 2020. Our kids are only little for a little while. Nobody will take care of & nurture your little ones like you will. Good job to you for sticking to what you feel is right for your family! Know you aren’t alone :) and early congratulations on your second baby boy!

[@vintagebeliever5023]

Proud of you! You are going against the lie women have been fed. " You can have it all. You can do whatever you want, yet if you choose to stay home and raise your children, we degrade you." Shameful society.

[@kfrb1]

Had horrible daycare experience. I had my child in for 2 days and half of the day. Pulled my child out after 2 months. We never looked back and we homeschooled. Both children have graduated college at the top level of their classes and are embarking on their respective careers.

[@Ashley-dg8xu]

Guess what if you sent your kids to daycare they would be clingy to someone else so it doesn’t matter children are just clingy

[@YasuTaniina]

My sister worked in a daycare for a few years in college. She was so scarred that she vowed she would never send ANY of her kids to daycare. She graduated college before she got married, but my BIL wasn't even halfway through. He took a hiatus from school to work full time. They scrimped and saved. They had 4 kids in a 2 bedroom townhouse for a while. He quit work to go back to school full time. He got his phd. They had 6 kids during all of that and now they have 7 one of those kids has special needs and lots of surgeries. And yet through all of that she still never sent any of them to daycare and she's homeschooling them. Not to mention their huge social/activity calendar and extra curriculars.

[@ellianna.keller]

Wow that's certainly awesome! It just goes to show what people can do when they set their mind to it!

[@honeybun3492]

God bless your family!!!

[@VanettaMosetta]

It would be so nice if more people had that work ethic and grit - especially parents. What badas$es! 👏

[@MysteryExodus]

This is heartbreaking. I have a 7 month old and I can’t imagine leaving him in a daycare. I feel bad for people who have no choice, but for those who do have a choice to work or not, and choose work over their baby…just don’t have a baby if they will not be a priority.

[@ellianna.keller]

It's definitely so sad 😭

[@loovejewellery6431]

Amazingly said. I think maybe a lot of parents know this, maybe….but just don’t have a choice sadly…. On the other hand, people who keep saying nursery is best, they need to hear this. My family still feel there’s something wrong with my decision for not sending my toddler to nursery. I signed him up three different settings and in the end I took him out. I could tell emotionally he was different after he went to nursery for a couple months. He never ever hid away from me when he was upset, until he started nursery…..I was so upset…he chose to walk into a dark room and cried instead of coming to me. Straight away I took him out and like yours, this nursery was an outstanding nursery but there’s just too many children…. I then quit my job and am now a SAHM. I am very very grateful that we’ve been able to choose this choice. Really thank you for this video. At times when others question me, these types of videos really helps 🙏🏻

[@ellianna.keller]

Yes that's so awesome I'm glad u were able to become a sahm!

[@MarmitaVeganaPT]

At least try and stay at home while ur husband works…..move in to a cheaper house, move in with your parents….it really is important for children to be with their mothers

[@alliestella97]

I have worked in about 4 to 5 different daycares throughout the country and I have worked in some of the "nicer , more luxurious and better ones" . What I gained from my experience was the fact that I would never put my child in one. Way to high ratios, stressed out teachers that are miserable and yell at kids, childrens needs not being met due to the high ratios, high violence in such young children, greedy owners, poor food choices, I could go on and on.

[@ellianna.keller]

Yes thanks for sharing!

[@starburstzz]

Agreed. I worked at 3 centers over 8 years and experienced the same things.

[@gabrielewikman]

Omg yesss!! I work at one and I get mad when I see other teachers yelling at them. The food choices make me so uncomfortable, these kids deserve better :( goldfish for snack and breakfast everyday is not nutritious 😖

[@sakeenajawad4845]

Her observation of daycare is very accurate I can almost picture perfectly the type of daycares she has worked at . I’ve been in early childhood off on since 1995 and one big issue with daycare is the pay which creates the high turnover rate when I was 18 - 23 with no kids in daycare I made pretty good money but the moment you become a mother especially of multiple kids and if your ‘re not married, daycare is not the the career field to stay in, if you choose to stay in the field with your own young kids your best option is open up a home daycare.

[@Exye-o2y]

I didn’t think about it till now but I used to have a placement in a nursery and I was on the floor interacting and playing with all the toddlers while all the actual workers would be together at the table .. they didn’t play and interact they just watched them and made the food and actually they were quite mean/strict if they didn’t sit and eat the properly

[@ellianna.keller]

Aww so sad! Some workers truly are kind and love their jobs but many also don't quite care as much about it. Thanks for sharing your experience!

[@katiefields297]

Just started working in a daycare full time so I enjoyed listening to this! I make sure I am always interacting with the kids, and this encouraged me of the difference that can make.

[@ellianna.keller]

Yes a great daycare worker is a HUGE blessing to the littles ones that go!

[@catL156]

That's lovely but those babies need their mother's, I'm not saying this to be mean but it is fact and scientifically proven that separation from their mother's has detrimental effects on a childs mental health and well-being especially in ages 0-3yrs,.......it's sooo sad😢

[@vintagebeliever5023]

I know I am oldfashionef yet why do people have children if they can't be with them at least the first few years of their lives? I never understood this. Can someone enlighten me? 😊 Enjoy Susan Venker

[@ellianna.keller]

I don't know 😞

[@Divine777-y8e]

They don’t prepare or think about the child’s suffering.

[@nicolewoods1701]

Many people think daycare is harmless and good for children

[@SarahStewart-eh2lq]

The cost of living and the salaries that are being offered by employers doesn't always allow for a parent to stay home with the babies. It may not be a choice in some cases. And unfortunately, the government doesn't provide assistance for in-home childcare options.

[@vintagebeliever5023]

@@SarahStewart-eh2lq why should we relay on the government for caring for our children? Then the women that actually stay home and raise their chidren should be entitled to something, right?

[@socialmoth4974]

I'm so grateful that I had two sets of grandparents to help watch our daughter. She never set foot in a daycare. And I plan to be there for her when she has kids of her own.

[@ellianna.keller]

That's sooo awesome and such a help for sure!

[@kellygoodwin1439]

I had my first baby in Idaho and was thinking about childcare options (I worked nights at the time). I toured a daycare that told me that legally in Idaho at the time you could have 1 daycare worker for 5 babies. Terrifying.

[@ellianna.keller]

Oh wow, yea that's pretty crazy ratios especially for babies!

[@RandomnessAllTheTime]

Oh its 1:6 in Idaho now...its absolutely insane here. And 1:8 for toddlers. Source: Daycare worker in Idaho currently it is insane

[@ellianna.keller]

@@RandomnessAllTheTime oh wow that is crazy!!!!

[@-.SweetBaby.-]

I work by myself with ten 2 year olds and though I love my kids it is absolutely exhausting. I feel the ratio should be 1 to 6, 10 is entirely too much for one person.

[@ellianna.keller]

@@-.SweetBaby.- yea that is a LOT

[@logicalconspiracist7741]

Thank you for this MUCH needed info & advice from the inside of a relatively good daycare centre (from what you've explained). Some moms NEED to work but many moms don't but aren't willing to sacrifice certain luxuries of life

[@MysticaEtherea]

One time when I was in daycare when I was little I refused to eat watermelon for idk snack time or sum cuz I absolutely hated it I would gag so much at the smell the boss lady came and shoved it down my throat making me eat it and growing up I would tell my mom this story and she’d never be fazed by it but this is the exact reason as to why I’d never put my baby in daycare

[@ellianna.keller]

Oh my goodness! That's insane, so sad to hear a story like this 😭

[@FireMinstrel]

My mother would have been furious but would never have done anything about it for fear of losing my placement at daycare. And then of course we would have all wound up living in a cardboard box. /s

[@vintagebeliever5023]

​​@@FireMinstrelI would rather live in a cardboard box with my children than let someone treat them like that.

[@vintagebeliever5023]

My children would of been out of there in a heartbeat. Thankfully, I never had to put my children on daycare.

[@claire88keys]

Thanks for sharing! The Bible has a lot to say about train up a child, raising children, teaching them the right things, etc. I am a piano teacher and can say from experience that if you let a child loose to their own selves, you end up with some wild behavior. That’s why God gave children parents to raise them until they are grown and have good judgment to make their own decisions as adults. That being said, whatever adult is watching the kid, it takes a lot of love, care, and attention to raise them right and help them turn out to be good members of society, and hopefully get saved and live for the Lord.

[@ellianna.keller]

Yes it really truly does! ❤️❤️

[@godismyvaccine8]

It’s not easy but I love working with children n I do interact with them I hope yo have my own someday

[@sakeenajawad4845]

Also regarding the training no disrespect to each state’s training requirements but they’re a bit unprofessional, the minimum requirements are too easy to get plus you can begin working with kids just a background check and little to no previous experience and while some daycares are trying to distinguish themselves by requiring college degrees they are not willing to pay that college degreed individual a salary that is sustainable and worthy of their college degree which would be a starting salary of $50,000

[@lironkufert7495]

Unfortunately if they paid worthy salaries, daycare would be so expensive that it wouldn't be worthwhile for a woman to work

[@JemimaDoesASMR]

Thanks so much for sharing, you seem like a wonderful person and exactly the type I'd want working in a daycare haha. I think our laws are a little different here in Australia in terms of child to staff ratios, qualifications needed etc, and also we get better parental leave (minimum from the government is currently 20 weeks paid to be shared between parents, increasing to 26 weeks over the next 2 years, many employers pay for more than that) so luckily there's less pressure to return to work immediately. Still, like, it seems like it can be a fantastic environment but also a very challenging one - if you struggle getting 1 child into a sleep/wake routine (massive respect for parents of multiples!), how do you get 5 or 6 kids asleep at the same time? 😅

[@ellianna.keller]

Aww love the perspective and thank you, you're so sweet!

[@kesihashanta7503]

thx for giving me idea whats its like, im thinking about working working at a daycare for the first time

[@kristin8409]

Thank you for the info. This is very helpful.

[@ellianna.keller]

Thanks so much for the sweet comment! 😊

[@ccrmag]

I heard about high turnover and I’m lucky the one I take my children to have women who have been there 9,12,20 years!! They’re so sweet. I know not all are as nice as the one I scored. I know they’re safe because few years later I got a job there too and we take development and safety seriously. We also put our phones in a bin at the entrance of the classroom 😊

[@ellianna.keller]

Aww so glad it's a bit of a better environment than most daycares that's awesome

[@inyeekaribi4913]

Please be careful with that though. I’ve worked with ladies that have been in the position for 9+ years, and it doesn’t necessarily mean they love their jobs or that they are good for the children! These ones I worked with definitely aren’t. They have just been there for such a long time that they know what to say and how to set things up to make it look like they’re doing well for the kids, but those behind the scenes know otherwise. Obviously this is not always the case but please be mindful of the fact that long years in a facility don’t necessarily mean professional/kind/caring. There was a lot of questionable issues that went unchallenged and I suspect it had something to do with how long they have been there. Obviously your kids are safe thank heavens and I pray they continue to be so, but a warning note to be wary of people who have been there for very long, especially if this is in a high turnover centre

[@andreafahnestock9349]

To be fair, a lot of the parents who send their kids to one of those larger daycares have to do so because they don’t have other options, cost wise. So telling moms to listen to their guilt doesn’t really help in those cases…just makes them feel worse.

[@ellianna.keller]

That's true and that's also why I mentioned (I believe lol) that in some cases you can't choose an ideal. I know some moms don't have an option and I definitely feel for them. In the area I lived in, a lot of the moms would be a stay home mom but still felt they needed to send their kids to daycare for "socializing." The cost of daycare was also so so high in that area that most could have potentially afforded a nanny rather than choosing industrialized daycare. There's not an easy answer to the problem ofc, but even if some people can use this experience to make the choice to find another way or even just a smaller care setting. I just want to provide transparency for other moms and while not everyone does have options sadly, help those who do

[@vintagebeliever5023]

My opinion.. where there is a will, there is a way. We loved in the most expensive state, CA. My husband and I made the decision to raise our own children, not someone else. We didn't have name brands things, we didn't take expensive vacations, I cooked meals from scratch. Yet, my children are amazing adults with nothing but good memories of childhood. We made the best with what we had. 😊

[@vintagebeliever5023]

And no one can make you feel guilt.. that is on you. 😊

[@MysteryExodus]

Guilt is a good things . It’s your moral compass telling you that you are doing something wrong and something needs to change.

[@vintagebeliever5023]

@@MysteryExodus I agree

[@eleanorjones26407]

I feel like this scratches the surface of my experience lol... Though I don't necessarily think that daycare should be avoided at all costs. Like I never wanna be a stay at home mom (personal choice)

[@ellianna.keller]

Oh wow what was your experience? I think there's many other options, like relatives helping out, babysitters, nanny's or even an at home daycare that would provide much more loving environments for children especially babies. You don't necessarily have to be a stay at home mom to avoid daycare. Daycare is a great option though for people in lower income.

[@eleanorjones26407]

@@ellianna.keller Constant badmouthing of parents, a couple toxic teachers, and mold in sippy cups... I feel like there was always some sort of drama lol Edit: oh and that time we couldn't send a kid with nits home so he was there with them in his hair (plus occasionally lice) for months. We only ever told other kids parents when there was a live bug exposure... I really loved that

[@ellianna.keller]

@@eleanorjones26407 ohhhh wow! That's a crazy experience! I certainly didn't have that one but that sounds insane and so so sadd. The parents probably didn't even know about any of it though 😭😭

[@eleanorjones26407]

@@ellianna.keller for the most part yeah... though I'll admit the mom of the kid with lice hated us because of how much we had to talk to her about it

[@ellianna.keller]

@@eleanorjones26407 oh wow well that's definitely crazy 😧

[@lukevillarreal6205]

In your experience did you ever see any male employees? Asking due to it being mostly a female dominated job

[@ellianna.keller]

Nope I didn't

[@lukevillarreal6205]

@@ellianna.keller do you know why? I’ve only lived in the US for 2 yrs so far. In Norway it was normal to see both, have any take on why?

[@zxKAOS1]

4:07 Hmm, I do hope they do NOT pay minimum wage!

[@kateporter1171]

I’ll save everyone 15 mins. Summary Girl with singular job experience, no kids, no child development degree and no follow up data gives opinions about daycare 😂 that are clearly swayed by her religious background

[@ellianna.keller]

Hi thanks for the comment! I have also worked in a preschool as well, and if you would like to learn a lot more on the actual science please check out Erica Komisar and Suzanne Venker, they give a TON of helpful scientific statistics. Erica Komisar is a psychoanalysis I believe and Suzanne has been researching these subjects for years. As an fyi I am a mamma, I have a baby coming very soon thanks tho ☺️

[@ellianna.keller]

Also note in the video title I say "my experience" I didn't necessarily say this was every child workers experience though a good deal of child worker's that I've heard from would likely agree

[@lacey5790]

she's sharing her personal experience and giving us something to consider. also, religion has nothing to do with wanting your children to grow and develop in a loving atmosphere. I'm a mother of one with a baby on the way and I am also an agnostic. I work part time from home in order to be a stay at home mom.

[@ellianna.keller]

@@lacey5790 thanks for the explanation! I appreciate it, lots of love for you and your family ❤️❤️

[@vintagebeliever5023]

You must be a working mom with no tolerance for anyone's opinion. Must be a reason..hmmmm😊