Extraverted Thinking (Te) with Amy the ESTJ | Type Talks E6

[@mikekeathley1120]

"It does not offend me if you come to me and say, 'That didn't come off right.'" -Every dominant thinker

[@JoyceMeng22]

Yesss. :) I keep this in mind in case I ever need to let them know!!

[@nobodynowhere21]

But then people rarely ever use that opportunity. Disappointment results if one expects that people will share the key details regarding how they truly feel/think about you, especially if you have some power/influence over them. I've just learned that I have to trust my baby Fi: "Would *I* like my self or my behavior in this present moment? If not, what would I start to say or do or think that would correct that?" So now I just ignore the endless swirl of introverted conjecture I used to deal with regarding what other people MIGHT be thinking or feeling now or in the past or future (since people dont typically do a good or reliable job of reporting this information to me anyway), and focus instead on becoming a better me primarily by my own standards and internal assessment. That's made a big difference in my Te/Ni brain.

[@LadyLuck8_4]

These STJ interviews are sorely needed. Thank you!

[@JoyceMeng22]

Glad you like them! More to come ^-^

[@LadyLuck8_4]

Looking forward to it :D

[@pebblebrookbooks4852]

ENTP linguist here. Te doms on this channel - "Please" is a (nice) request marker. Let's say i parked in the wrong place at a party: Te: Hey NP - i need you to move your car. ENTP: Why? Te: Hey NP, can you please move your car? ENTP: Ok. Where would you like me to park?

[@hirsch4155]

Wow thanks Joyce for making this happen, and thanks to Amy too, as an ESTJ this was so awesome to listen to.

[@JoyceMeng22]

Thanks for listening :) I'm wondering if you'd like to join the ESTJ panel! If so, you can email me at [e-mail]

[@NicStride]

Te is intense :O Trying to imagine her and her INFP husband is fun. :)

[@JonasAnandaKristiansson]

It is SO intense indeed haha!! I have stuff to learn from Te though, but in a more.. chill and (to me) grounded way that is more well rounded and not forcefully "practical" and "shit has to get done"-mode activated. Am a speck into the video but I really like this. Joyce has the most dynamic insightful interviews that I have seen, gotta say. Thank you Amy too, even though I am not finished yet! :D Well.. Te-dom.. She is probably not going to see this hahaha

[@dolapootunla7735]

Oh yes, you should see masculine Te, especially when it's irritated, you're gonna get a whooping. Lol.

[@marcvesper]

(INFP) INFPs are low-key ESTJs on the inside, you have to remember. STJ is the standard we compare ourselves to much of the time when beating ourselves up (not at all Fe or Se).

[@pebblebrookbooks4852]

Oh I'm sure it's adorable af! 😄

[@icanrelate]

You're an excellent interviewer and facilitator.

[@JoyceMeng22]

Thank you, @I Can Relate! 🙂 That is the highest compliment.

[@CorwynCelesil]

This Introverted Judger greatly appreciates the thought and care that has gone into the different ways Amy relates to Extraverted vs Introverted Judgers, especially in the persuasion department. If I find someone hammering their opinion on me or demanding that I make a decision or change an opinion to their point of view, even if they're totally right, I will shut down and refuse (internally, usually) to relate to that person. But if you present something in a sort of neutral way, or at least undemanding, I'm much more likely to go away and think about it for a long time and come back ages later with a result for you. Amy's recognition of that and care for people who have different thinking and deciding styles is very appreciated.

[@JoyceMeng22]

Amy is certainly very mature in that respect! :) She demonstrates how IxxPs and ExxJs can find a healthy middle ground in communication. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Corwyn.

[@dolapootunla7735]

This was cool, would love to see more videos featuring "SJs", there aren't a lot of talks/videos on personality, cognitive functions related discussions featuring "SJs". Would love to see their perspectives.

[@JoyceMeng22]

Definitely will have more of those coming up in the future!

[@hfortenberry]

This was so interesting. You don't see too many ESTJs online like this. My ex-girlfriend from 25 years ago (we'll call her Jill) and I are still good friends and she is REALLY similar to Amy except she is more ambitious it seems. She's super successful in her job, running a nationwide program for Dell Computers and she makes a LOT of money. She makes like $175K a year after you add in her bonuses. And she is also extremely social. She works very hard but then the moment she is off work, she is organizing a dinner with friends or going to a women's basketball game with friends (they have season tickets) or going to parties on the weekends or putting on a great party for Halloween each year, etc. And during the work week, on her lunch breaks, every week or two, she has been a Meals on Wheels volunteer for as long as I've known her, so at least 25 years. She loves people and loves to have fun with them and yet she also has high standards and expectations from them, such as her employees. But she is also really fun and great to talk with. As an INTJ, I find I get along with her super well and love hanging out with her. I worked with another ESTJ who was much younger and she was pretty bitchy at times (lack of maturity) but I still found that we got along really well due to our strong Te respect for each other. And for some reason, her bitchiness didn't bother me. I took it for what it was and not personal. I really like ESTJs. I'd say they are one of my favorite types. The only thing I'd advise high Te users is be careful not to sound arrogant, like you know everything (I know, this is coming from an INTJ lol). But I picked up that vibe really strongly here although that may instead be coming from the strong Christian culture since it STONGLY resembles family on my Dad's side who are preachers and missionaries in Africa and I saw this tone frequently within that culture but especially with the Te users. It's a tone of superiority. However, my ESTJ friends that I mentioned above do not have that arrogant tone so I don't think it exists across all ESTJs.

[@Binyamin.Tsadik]

17:30 - great explanation of how Te is a tribe function.

[@JoyceMeng22]

Yes! Amy's such a good example of Te, even though she has the warmth of someone stereotypically Fe. Her Te is like Shans in the way that everyone confuses it for Fe but it's NOT. =]

[@coolamericano]

So this is Te Dom vs Te trickster

[@icanrelate]

She reminds me of my ESTJ sister. I blocked her & her husband for lack of empathy. I'm an ENTJ as you know & I completely disagree with judging other people's emotions as valid - who are we to judge. Sis & I argued recently about a related matter & it was like talking to a wall. Any time I hear supervisors speak this way, I want to fight them. They want results & can't be bothered to respect people's experiences & emotions.

[@umeshkulkarni9687]

My tertiary Te clarified. ❤️👍

[@boryman2999]

Lol Estj....Work hard, Play Hard. In contrast Intp....Think Hard, Sleep Harder.

[@ma_iii]

My dad is an ESTJ. They are so similar

[@JoyceMeng22]

Awesome! What type is your mother, M M?

[@hirsch4155]

Just happened to watch this today, and can really relate, for example at around 23:00, talking about chores. I just had a conversation with a friend a couple days ago as it happens, about how I’ve always liked to be humored. What I mean is that I think ESTJs like to be told certain things or given certain responsibilities just to build them up, and we tend to come across as needy or demanding because of this. It’s often in areas of our organizational blind spots, and other types might think this is weird because it’s almost like we’re demanding to be patronized. Like she said others are more self motivated in certain areas and may also find this insulting as Amy said, but not only do we like being bossy lol but we sometimes need a boss (who we respect/like) too to humour us. I’ll never forget one of my first bosses taking the time to compliment me on the job, maybe she saw that I needed it ‘cause I was a bit intense with getting things done. Other employees may have just been yeah whatever we’re just doing our job and not needed to be humored like that.

[@hfortenberry]

Oh yes! I definitely relate to Amy with regard to wanting people to let you know when you've put your foot in your mouth. I did that a lot when I was young, not so much anymore but I always really super appreciate it when someone tells me nicely that I said something offensive. And I agree with her that they need to refrain from underestimating us when telling us because that impugns our motives which is simply not accurate or fair. I think that's why I enjoy ISTJs, ENTJs, and ESTJs so much because we can just all be so direct with each other and we don't get our feelings hurt. So we end up having really good communication. Also I agree with Amy regarding the internal dialogue. When you asked her if Te needs to process out loud I was like "yes, yes yes"! I don't know if I ALWAYS NEED to but I've found that I am much more successful if I can talk out my thinking with someone to process it and come to my conclusions that way. I sometimes literally need to HEAR the words coming out of my mouth before I know if they are the right words or not. Same with emails. I must write them and then I have to wait a bit and then re-read them to determine if that's what I want to say. I am a great collaborator and trainer as well. And I love talking shop at work, verbally working through problems with other Te user coworkers. At home, I don't have someone to talk out Te with so I will have an internal dialogue almost every day but more often it will be out loud. I talk out loud to myself while in the shower or folding laundry for example or doing anything else that takes up zero mental capacity (which is being used for the Te processing), or just sitting at my desk or at the table, I'll carry on a whole conversation with an imaginary person that is typically instructional. The imaginary recipient of my instruction is usually not defined. It's just a symbolic person that allows me to process Te with myself. It's very similar to someone practicing before they give a speech. It's like I'm practicing what I think so that when the time comes for me to share it, I've worked it out what I want to say so I can articulate it well. You know how they say the best way to learn something is to teach it to someone else? It's as if my mind does that naturally in the form of this out loud talking to myself behavior. I've never been deliberate about it. I just find myself doing it. I don't think I could stop it if I wanted to unless another person was there to stand in for my imaginary person.

[@HeartBreakKid5231]

Joyce is on her best behavior with this ESTJ lmao

[@ma_iii]

Estj are really interesting based on this interview

[@michellewei9139]

I don't understand why we have to say please or say thank you. Ugh! I grew up around a bunch of feelers. Imagine that being a Sensor! I was always pushed down in regards to my opinions. Pass rate: that's why I refer to my ISTJ husband. Still, he holds back, I move ahead.

[@NicStride]

No headphones. :)

[@pebblebrookbooks4852]

Omg Amy you should do meditations, asmr, etc. Your ESTJ voice sounds like God's in His Heaven and All is Right w/ the World.

[@luisguimaraes5682]

ESTJ 🙌🙌🙌🙌

[@sylvial1985]

I'm an INFJ and with this ESTJ friend of mine...... shallow conversation, i hate it.

[@Calebeqz]

@moon dust I see Sylvia everywhere, she judges certain types like this all the time...

[@michellewei9139]

Supposedly INFP is supposed to get along with ESTJ. My sister is supposedly an INFP. We do NOT get along! I think she was mistyped!