EZIC IS WATCHING | Papers Please - Part 3

It seems like there are many things going on in the background of Paper's Please while I'm just trying to do my job.
Edited By ► / nerdfiction
And ► / lixiantv
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[@DeadGuyOnTheBus]

Markiplier: This money seems like a very obvious trap *takes it anyways* Narrator: And it was

[@randomcrusader5632]

It would have been fine if he hadn’t moved apartments, wouldn’t it?

[@kuraii5170]

@@randomcrusader5632 nah, neighbors still report you

[@phasedcloak2835]

"And at this moment, he knew. He effed up"

[@jbird999cg]

by letting the agent through your pretty much locked into one of the more worse endings. Either the ezio ending or the bad ending we'll see what he does later on.

[@twilight684]

@@jbird999cg The EZIC ending is the best ending though, if you do it right. Mark just isn't doing it right lol, so he's doomed to get a bad ending unless he completes their missions.

[@corporalcreative9892]

When they hit the Detain Button: Jack- “DETAINED!” Mark- “Don’t care goodbye.”

[@starblight22]

Also kubz scoots "getdi fuk outta here"

[@juansofly3916]

You gotta watch pewds playing this so you can add him🤣

[@aidenr3310]

Jack's is just pleasing to hear Real turn on

[@beardiemom]

I also loved Jack's "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LINE!", whenever he found a discrepancy.

[@critter7531]

@@aidenr3310 pardon the fuck

[@derengalios8785]

Mark knowing that he fucked up purely on vibes alone is extremelly impressive and alarming

[@sarak6883]

I mean if u play games for yrs like he has then yea I guess youd get this good lol

[@asterling4]

i'm not sure what you're talking about.. mark has never made any mistakes playing this game, ever. not one mistake

[@honeycomb937]

some people are gifted with the "i've fucked this" sense

[@fartsniffer9999]

time stamp?

[@grandldude]

@@fartsniffer9999 16:03

[@Peku_G]

Mark: **Doesnt burn the money** Everyone that has played before: *That was your last mistake*

[@madelinelovdahl4719]

if you dont upgrade do they still gossip?

[@Chris-santhemum]

Yeap

[@lightlylemony]

wait why

[@Chris-santhemum]

@@lightlylemony it's the beginning of your own downfall. And is very dangerous if you are Anti-Ezic

[@Adumbshiba]

@@Chris-santhemum what if I didn't do anything bad or good towards ezic should I still be worried ?

[@certifiedbruhmoment1436]

It’s so heartwarming to see the guy that kept coming back not being able to get in, finally get to cross the border

[@feef1699]

jorji's so dumb and i love him

[@justyouraveragemartian783]

jorjis a chad fight me

[@angie.bailey]

i think you mean potato man

[@rahmat4848]

Gak bisa bahasa ingris

[@LexoAstonov]

Jorji is a good bean and he needs to be protected

[@joby7137]

Mark is the kind of guy to say "this is a bad idea" before immediately, without hesitation, proceeding do it

[@twitteryloki4415]

Very true

[@jsksjky]

And that's why we love him.

[@detlonyt]

I'm pretty sure he HAS done this on multiple occasions lol

[@Paveway-chan]

And then he gets rekt *hard*

[@genericchannelname4110]

Life philosophy: if it’s a bad idea, it’s a good idea.

[@amberwhite9431]

Pewdiepie: *Looking for any reason to deny people to the point of letting his family die* Mark: “pay me money and I’ll let you in”

[@Soul93Taker]

Pewds is the fanatic, Mark is the pragmatic

[@JCOdrjones]

Makes sense for someone with sympathies towards *those* types of countries, lol

[@valerius8542]

@@JCOdrjones context

[@arumugamgunasekaran8641]

@@valerius8542 yes

[@valerius8542]

@@arumugamgunasekaran8641 no

[@stephaniestumpf6660]

Me watching him detaining Stepheni like 👁👄👁

[@fromunderthecorkdre]

RIGHT THAT WAS SO FUNNY

[@Jacquelinsane]

THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HE SHOULD DO WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

[@thebathroom6327]

@@Jacquelinsane no

[@Jacquelinsane]

@@thebathroom6327 it quite literally is have you even played this game?

[@thebathroom6327]

@@Jacquelinsane no, but I like overthrowing governments and helping secret organizations

[@aliyasseraref37]

13:08 "What is the purpose of your trip?" "Transit." "Duration of stay?" "Forever." *visible confusion*

[@mysteriousmemethief8598]

You will never arrive at the truth

[@vapor6454]

_One eternity later_ Me: So, when does your ride leave?

[@unholycrusader69]

@@mysteriousmemethief8598 wha-

[@Name-yv2zq]

they like their train system

[@VaasMontenegro12]

@@mysteriousmemethief8598 Nice JoJo reference

[@aeslec-525]

This isn't Mark's ADHD nightmare, it's his ADHD giving us nightmares.

[@Zack_Zander]

He’s spreading it

[@NerdAlert42]

@@Zack_Zander people say adhd can't be spread but i beg to differ. Basically all of my friends act ADD, prolly bc of my influence

[@cohensmith6100]

@@NerdAlert42 doubt that

[@thewarriorcat3271]

@Dirty DanSame here. They should quiet down a little

[@julyol119]

@@NerdAlert42 By your logic everyone should have ADHD by now, since it's a wide spread disorder anyway. And if your teen friends act erratic, that's called puberty and be over in a few years. Compared to adhd, tgat might stay with you forever.

[@Antonio_Martinez]

2:05 What Mark said: “The heat from the peños isn’t really bothering me anymore.” What subtitles thought he said: “The heat from the penis isn’t really bothering me anymore.”

[@yagamil46]

Gonorrhea! Oh ...shit *coach blows up another building*

[@tangytim6699]

@@yagamil46 shut

[@shinycharizard9221]

@@tangytim6699 👌

[@UnderworldsHeiress]

In defense of the subtitles I heard the same but English is my second language so I have trouble with Mark's accent from time to time.

[@brettreed2633]

“Your neighbors reported your new wealth.” Your neighbors were brutally murdered last night. Do you know anything about that?

[@BlueFlameBird]

Mark trying to help the order but constantly detaining them is a mood

[@checkit7528]

y is there no comments

[@ATalkingBadger]

"is a mood" sounds/looks so stupid.

[@sunnybakedham]

@@ATalkingBadger girl what 😐

[@theodore_honeybee6104]

@@ATalkingBadger dude

[@hamburgerhelper2810]

@@ATalkingBadger this comment is a mood

[@daethalion1725]

I love that Mark says he's slipping when he is performing at exactly the same level for every episode.

[@karinasilva-xw3ld]

The OF promoters have infiltrated KZbin comments now 😐 literally every single comment on IG is do u think I’m cute

[@Doomerang01]

...But is that a good thing? Lol

[@jesselindsey9760]

One thing I like about Markiplier is that when he realizes he's fucked up, he goes back and fixes it. I've been watching a lot of Game Grumps recently, and I can guarantee you that not only would Arin fuck up a whole bunch, but he A) wouldn't realize he fucked up and yell at the game for punishing him "for no reason", or B) would realize he fucked up but keep going after some cursing, fucking up his game for the rest of the next 20 episodes. I really like that Mark goes back and plays it properly.

[@leanicole2853]

LOL, that’s funny! It bugs me when he makes a mistake and fixes it, feels like it’s taking away from the “true Markiplier ending” sort of thing just to get the ideal one. Does that make sense? Funny how people are different like that!

[@Jacquelinsane]

Except for the part where accepting the Order’s demands is fucking up and you didn’t need to bring up game grumps?

[@papiyoshua]

@@Jacquelinsane except for the part that you really don’t need to be rude and spoil someone when they’re just trying to enjoy watching markiplier 😂

[@papiyoshua]

@@Jacquelinsane like chill it’s just a comparison

[@Tyler-sy7jo]

Not gonna comment on GG, but I find reloading a previous save in a game where failure is a part of the game kind of takes away from the experience. PP is about living with your decisions and trying to get by on those decisions in a hostile environment. Kinda undermines that when you reload an old save to undo the "mistake". But at least he's not save scumming each day to make every day a perfect one.

[@noobythings]

Mark: you need an entry permit Dude: i left before they- Mark: _TOO BAD, BYE._ *detained*

[@MythicBurger030]

Mark: “i ate jalapeño’s” Mark: “I dont have milk i have *cream* “ Few minutes later *comes back with hot choco*

[@clevercynic9882]

you can make hot chocolate with water. Most hotels do that

[@kidssnyder9680]

@@clevercynic9882 k

[@swagswagsenate]

@@clevercynic9882 i do this

[@sillicon8227]

@@swagswagsenate just melt chocolate at that point

[@swagswagsenate]

@@sillicon8227 i don't have the equipment to do that, i don't live in a wealthy family like you

[@Gabowsk]

Judging by Mark's actions so far, I'm surprised he didn't give the EZIC paper to the Ministry of Information by mistake or something lol

[@tonghale163]

If he did that the game will end and he’ll get a bad ending lol

[@fairyhaven13]

at this point, i think he'll get a bad ending anyway.

[@swagswagsenate]

@@fairyhaven13 actually i think he'll get the Glory To The New Arstotzka ending where the Ezic Order rules.

[@swagswagsenate]

@Ethan Chu oh i forgot about that ending

[@spencertang5155]

Welp... No one tell that to him please, I want to see what happens.

[@DJB3lfry]

Mark: I won't mess up. Mark: *Messes up immediately. Like, it's actually impressive.* Mark: Let's do the time warp again!

[@giordanovaldes-ramirez9121]

“I’m not a masochist” *proceeds to SLAP his eyes with peño fingers and pour hot water on his hands

[@Roach_Dogg_JR]

Mark: Goes to college for engineering. Also Mark: Tries to heat up cup by spraying hot water on it.

[@quinton1630]

Everyone knows you need to submerge the cup in hot water

[@Paveway-chan]

@@quinton1630 Or just... microwave it? Maybe Mark doesn't have one where he's saying right now or something?

[@RainbowKaro]

@@Paveway-chan most hotel rooms don't and he is quarantine

[@theyeetus1428]

@@Paveway-chan Many cups aren't microwavable.

[@sleepysin9821]

I love your profile pic, I’m filled with determination

[@kingjest5257]

Only Mark would get hot chocolate for his Jalapeno eyes.

[@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072]

Uh no i would too

[@antoniocasias5545]

@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072 right? Sounds like a great combo 😍🥵🤤

[@eternallk1ngs_57]

He really is😂

[@kingjest5257]

@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072 You'd get hot chocolate to help after rubbing Jalapeno residue into your eyes?

[@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072]

@@kingjest5257 Ahh sure why not. I also like the flavour combination too

[@afr4y117]

I love how mark just eyeballs the fingerprints and is like "ya, those match up" instead of using the inspection tool. Slow clap, men, we have a genious

[@pantlooner9601]

A genious indeed

[@m0rdearygos]

GUNIUS

[@temporarynickname]

i do that as well lmao didnt even realize I could just inspect them

[@tylisirn]

I never use inspection tool for fingerprints. They're pretty obvious when they match or don't match and the inspection tool is s-l-o-w.

[@destinybeno5377]

Look at our boy, not making a single mistake ever. I'm so proud. Glory to Arstoska

[@ameliambuttoth2411]

*Arstotzka DENIED

[@BlueJayGaming]

It's pretty crazy how Mark has made it this far without making a single mistake.

[@dylanhewitt2634]

HI🩸≥

[@Kikkatar.]

IKR? Amazing!

[@ConspiciousAction]

He made a lot of mistakes, actually.

[@sftmyg4219]

@@ConspiciousAction r/woooooooooooooooooosh

[@SherbertLand]

@@ConspiciousAction it’s a bird, it’s a plane, no, it’s the joke, and it’s right over your head

[@Kyomapai]

I love the lack of reasoning for Mark's suffering with his peño fingers.

[@EndisNai]

I love your profile pic!! So cute.

[@marki2262]

I read this before I heard him say peño hands and I was so confused

[@ronnithewitch3259]

Yay normal human!

[@Kyomapai]

@@EndisNai thanks! It’s the first little emote I’ve made

[@UltravioletRay]

The audio of Mark raging from “Getting over it” during the second intermission actually broke me 😂😭 Lixian, you genius!

[@Funloverparty]

Mark: "I'm rich, I don't care anymore." 5 seconds later: *shocked Pikachu face*

[@MikeTheFerret]

"I have a sharp eye for these kinds of things" Also Mark: *has gotten 18 citations*

[@itsmemogul889]

here before 1k likes

[@KcTyrekeNSotto]

@@itsmemogul889 Do you really think I care XD

[@fib7615]

@@itsmemogul889 OMG I replied to this comment first before it blows up in popularity, I’m gonna be so popular because I was the first one to comment here!

[@MikeTheFerret]

@@itsmemogul889 imagine trying to feel validation from a reply, kinda cringe

[@dylanbrewer8605]

@@itsmemogul889 Do yourself a favor and save yourself from future cringe. People do not like these kinds of comments.

[@-Ryu]

So, Next episode he's gonna be talking about having too much ice cream and constantly touching his forehead in brain freeze pain

[@ianalvord3903]

Anything to make this game experience more difficult!

[@tegridysoda5282]

Yeah

[@robertnelson9599]

@@ianalvord3903 We should convince him to play the game drunk.

[@tajhaybanks8656]

@@robertnelson9599 he would die

[@abby102]

@@robertnelson9599 he can’t drink alcohol, he’d die. He had 2 heart attacks last time

[@kingtoast6624]

"Your neighbors have reported your new wealth" That is single handedly the most *BITCH MAID* thing you could ever do

[@demonprincess9680]

The second I saw Stephani Graire, I started screaming at the screen. I got even louder when he didn't recognize the name and detained her

[@pantlooner9601]

Lmao

[@_Depending_Viscount_]

For some reason watching Mark not do what he's supposed to and then getting upset/confused when he gets in trouble for it is hilarious-

[@bidgey]

It's the reason the simulator videos were so great

[@dimentio9833]

@KevinBB reporting counts as hate so I’m reporting you for spam

[@CheshieD]

@@dimentio9833 not sure that counts as hate but ok

[@imsorryforarguingbut4555]

Mark not a masochist Fischbach: *Touches eyes* Mark again: “aa” *Touches eyes again*

[@no_opinion1065]

*Voice in head*: "Do It again"

[@pochi2426]

Lmao

[@no_opinion1065]

@7yk0 "Let me guess... Hater?"

[@majordonut4022]

@@no_opinion1065 likely just a guy with anger issues

[@no_opinion1065]

@@majordonut4022 Yea ig

[@DogStareIntoSpace]

It feels like mark is living in a boat with Seagulls flying around him

[@jjg857]

Ok now we need a video of Mark saying he never makes mistakes followed by a montage of all the mistakes never made

[@WelcometoHell3]

Mark: Studied to be an actual engineer Also Mark: I thought I could heat up my drink by spraying hot water on the outside of the cup but just burned my hands instead Are you fucking ok sir 😂 *EDIT: In case no one has seen it there's an INCREDIBLE short film based on this game - just youtube Papers, Please short film*

[@lacytaylor1501]

It would have made more sense to put it in hot water and just mix to spread the heat...how would you not think to do that.

[@bengrogan9710]

@@lacytaylor1501 Would have also made sense to simply start a fresh cup

[@lacytaylor1501]

@@bengrogan9710 Well he was trying to heat the cream and cocoa mix so it would incorporate properly with no access to any heat source but a kettle to heat water. He needed dairy to cool his mouth so using hot water wouldn't helped. By heating the outside of the mug in a hot water bath and stirring while its in it, he would slowly heat the cream allowing the cocoa to mix in giving him a dairy drink to soothe his mouth.

[@bengrogan9710]

@@lacytaylor1501 you can still make cocoa with water and dairy, it often works well for the exact reason of being warm - helping to loosen oils in the mouth and throat which are the cause of the uncomfortable heat

[@lacytaylor1501]

@@bengrogan9710 Ah okay, but if he didn't want to waste supplies he could've simply heated it that way too. There were a few options much smarter than soaking his own hand in hot water spray

[@celine5783]

i could watch mark play this game forever

[@nyxx_0077]

agreed

[@GridnetGaming]

Yes

[@scottallen5183]

Bro same

[@Jizzy69420]

Saaame it's relaxing

[@User-hk2ev]

Same

[@rowan_alexander]

What I want to know is why, if they have a machine/robot thing that can tell if you incorrectly let someone in, do they need a person manning the border patrol office?

[@pantlooner9601]

YEEEES I HAVE BEEN WONDERING THE SAME THING!!!!!

[@julianserrano1940]

It amazing how Mark hasn't even messed up at least a little

[@mysticanimation22]

Mark: I always wanted to be a sailor. (Sqwak) F Off!!!

[@Vooda88]

Seagulls, stop it now!

[@hashtags_YT]

Foff

[@rahmat4848]

Gak bisa bhasa ingris

[@EthanMeatan]

@@rahmat4848 you good

[@maddiehalloway]

@@Vooda88 I got that reference!

[@Dragon-bi6xp]

“The neighbors have reported your new wealth and it has been confiscated” *distorted music plays*

[@basicnoob4626]

That actually makes no sense cause the neighbors reported that they have been getting really healthy but Mark has been feeding them all day.

[@sumeyyeyldrm5031]

@@basicnoob4626 The neighbors reported them, not the family

[@ducttape9940]

"We don't pay him enough to live without worrying every second about how much money he is making and if his family is dying of starvation. OR IF HIS ANNOYING SON IS GETTING SICK"

[@kekistanimememan170]

In east Germany suspects under investigation were told their neighbours snitched on them regardless if they did or didn’t in order to make dissident not trust anyone

[@Dragon-bi6xp]

OH MY GOD THANKS FOR THE LIKES

[@ztangler7173]

It continues to astonish me how Mark plays through his career every day with zero mistakes

[@TheMightyTrollFish]

Great fucking editing Lix 16:09 I was laughing for a while.

[@bonbin6053]

Ep 1: citation edition Ep 2: cult edition Ep 3: CREAM EDITION

[@marble228]

coom

[@Graphics_Card]

Hotel: trivago

[@beckettim3222]

other youtubers intros: hey what’s up guys marks intros: god dammit I just eat a jalapeño and it BURNS

[@speedweed7852]

@KevinBB what if i do nothing

[@_Gingi_Berri]

He’s *Special*

[@ECODKyleskymast]

@KevinBB Or better yet, I'll just ignore you.

[@rahmat4848]

@@speedweed7852 what a weeb

[@kurko3200]

Wdym he has a intro

[@alexandergodfreykleinhans8059]

13:50 - In the words of Fernando Alsonso: KARMA!

[@frozeneevee]

Mark being a hot mess at the beginning is honestly pretty relatable.

[@dmmurphy2010]

marks ADHD is setting off my ADHD in a weird way where I actually notice the discrepancies

[@vesperfromtheinternet5588]

so it's not just me! vindication!

[@ryleemacdonald863]

FOR REAL!!!!!

[@pertmang197]

he doesn't actually have ADHD, _probably_

[@dmmurphy2010]

@@pertmang197 he has an ADHD diagnosis

[@ryleemacdonald863]

@@pertmang197 he has ADD

[@gayfrog6015]

(Sorry I fucked it up) I love the weird scary Doo do dooooooOOOO music that comes on when someone weird shows up at his booth

[@darklord884]

In a lot of cases these people aren't even weird. Calensk is a pretty nice guy and the man who gives you his card telling you to give it to engineers is also a friendly person in the end.

[@nocontact_eddie]

That makes me wanna shit myself

[@whydoesmeexiss2883]

W e

[@Mecal21]

@@darklord884 but it is out of the ordinary if you haven't played the game

[@gayfrog6015]

@@darklord884 I mean strange new characters who have unknown intentions when you first meet them I'm not hating I'm trying to make joke don't shit on me pplllssss

[@user-bo9ue3ce5u]

8:10 Mark: hey thanks for being you

[@Crash_CarTV]

3:00 Idk why I love this part, the fact that his voice is all muffled.

[@ambertasniem7245]

I love the way the editing points out the mistakes a second before mark realises

[@rahmat4848]

Gak bisa bahasa ingris

[@danceswithdirt7197]

I think Lixian's got a mandate to showcase Mark's over-zealousness.

[@nicholasgardner3685]

0000

[@X-SPONGED]

Mark : "I've recently eaten jalapeno peppers and my eyes are burning" Also Mark : *keeps touching his eyes with his peno hands* *Sprays hot water all over a mug he's holding to heat up hot chocolate* "I am not a masochist"

[@The_White]

"People might mistake me for some kind of a masochist"

[@kaorifujimiya1358]

Let's not forget the fact that he was spraying the mug with hot water and the hot water got all over his hand

[@MatiNuva1724]

You're talkin' like people haven't made mistakes before

[@kaorifujimiya1358]

@@MatiNuva1724 Mark never makes mistakes.

[@MatiNuva1724]

@@kaorifujimiya1358 I apologize.

[@scoo0p]

Mark: i just touched my eye with my halapeno hands, ooww also Mark: *proceeds to rub in halapeno in both of his eyes*

[@ashleypotato8948]

It's jalapeno but pronounce with a h

[@papiyoshua]

Also Mark in another video: *”I’m not a masochist”*

[@gh0stpuppi333]

This mf really said “halapeno”

[@dr_skipwith]

12:54 Why did that "pal" sound so... not right?

[@timboslice9905]

Higher pitch in his voice. A lighter tone compared to Mark’s usual slightly gruff voice. Broken from the rest of his words. Almost like they dubbed someone else’s voice in for that one word.

[@gonzalogolfieri5230]

Mark solved his tounge hurting by having such an assanine idea that the pain just went away. He had an idea so bad that it all worked itself out, unrelated to his best efforts. I wish life was like that

[@fenn_fren]

He's like that comedic protagonist who keeps walking into very obvious traps but they always just very narrowly miss him.

[@straypaper]

Actually warm drinks are known to reduce pain from the vanilloid (chili) nociceptor by stimulating the heat thermoreceptor resulting in downregulation of said nociceptor. The idea is impeccable. It's just the execution that's... fumbling. TL;DR: If spicy make pain, add heat. Pain will spike like hell for one second but will go away immediately.

[@Samus11111]

@@straypaper The assanine idea wasn't the hot drink, it was 1) making hot chocolate with pure coffee cream 2) trying to heat the cream by blasting the cup with hot water on one side 3) holding said cup while basting the side with hot water.

[@thibautisserant]

*Mark keeping the 1000$* "You don't understand what country you're in, do you ?"

[@sarak6883]

I meeeaann he already knew and said it was a trap so what's ur point lmao

[@thibautisserant]

@@sarak6883 My point is, why does he make thing harder for himself when he already looks like he's on the verge of physical suffering.

[@sarak6883]

@@thibautisserant he's a masochist?

[@straypaper]

Do the neighbors still snitch on us if we don't move to class 7?

[@thibautisserant]

@@straypaper Yep, I've tried that. Which is complete horsesh*t. You can have money and being discreet about it ! Especially in this kind of situation.

[@Zoejo]

Mark: I need to make money, my family is hungry and cold. Me: **gets stressed bc he literally could've afforded both food and heat if he downgraded his apartment**

[@jermaenjoyer]

The way Lixian zooms in when Mark makes a mistake is so funny, he like displays the huge mistake on the big screen like “LOOK. WRONG” lol

[@zachwilson2954]

Mark: Eyes are burning Also Mark: Continues to rub eyes with jalapeño hands

[@jayhill8892]

I was practically yelling at my screen "STOP TOUCHING YOUR EYES!!!"

[@Lyree93]

Welcome to a series where Mark tries to survive without Amy

[@ridergilwin1494]

He won’t

[@Zeyox96]

So far he's rubbed jalepeno in his eyes and made hot coco with coffee creamer. It's going about as well as expected.

[@NoriMori1992]

I love how they edited out Mark being given the pennant, so suddenly it's just there with no explanation 😂

[@hamzahhamad1058]

Mark: *eats jalapenos before a recording, touches eyes multiple times after saying that it hurts, and sprays hot water on his hands while trying to heat up hot chocolate* Also Mark: iM nOt A mAsOcHiSt!

[@mtrainluv]

Markiplier trying his best causes more destruction than gray still plays trying his worst.

[@littledoodles06]

Ah I see you are a man of culture as well

[@DCGKodi]

i see you both are men of the ages

[@KyleGD]

ayyy graystillplays

[@hectichive889]

AAALRIGHT!

[@aztecthegrim6634]

All mark is missing is A FULL LIQUOR BAR~

[@Atrasimi0226]

Mark, touching his eyes repeatedly with his ‘peno hands Me, screaming “stop touching your eyes” repeatedly Mark, not stopping

[@tangytim6699]

I don't think he can hear you

[@kittybun8845]

Ah, it burns. Maybe I can rub it out with my hands

[@Anderassi]

“‘peño fingers” is the first thing to make me laugh aloud in ages

[@mason7915]

14:09 “Well... ain’t that a bitch...”

[@Naurdagnor]

If seagulls do not make some sort of feature in "A Heist with Markiplier II", I would be very surprised.

[@kwolf6523]

Yeah bro like at 3:04 it sounds interesting. I think it's involved with something

[@Raddahgon]

@@kwolf6523 that dialogue is actually from when Mark played "Getting Over It with Bennet Foddy"(I don't remember the guys name lol)

[@commandergull8188]

somebody called

[@Naurdagnor]

@@commandergull8188 Your soldiers are annoying my boy, could you try "gulling" them off? Thanks in advance.

[@commandergull8188]

@@Naurdagnor *no no I dont think i will*

[@spirithunter6844]

You can move to class 8 dwellings and you’ll actually receive 75 credits

[@leebustamante4737]

This needs more thumbs up lol. He just missed it on the previous day and he's about to miss it again today.

[@leebustamante4737]

@@Victor_Graves But doesn't he usually go "Let me know in the comments" in some of his videos D:

[@mantaskraskauskas9745]

It dosen't matter, he'll get arrested the next day i think

[@fordsrest]

i think this is pre recorded. this might be his 14 day quarantine room, so he cant read these as he plays

[@llgg9744]

@@mantaskraskauskas9745 He corrected himself by going back and letting Stephani through so I think he's okay now

[@BeautyMonster1000]

I love how he zooms in on all of his mistakes, it's hilarious!

[@chimpedout]

15:31 “Maybe you should not have come” “Watch yo tone”

[@ValtheJean]

Markiplier: I'm not a masochist. Also Markiplier: I just had spicy peppers before streaming and I sprayed hot water on my hand.

[@parodysam]

“I don’t wanna pour myself a glass of *cream* , but I’m debating pouring myself a glass of *cream* .” Thank you, this is the most I’ve laughed in awhile.

[@miapotvin3396]

Best beginning to a video ever lol

[@redninjakitty14neko26]

im puttign my like in the commetns

[@justinchannel128]

“People might mistake me for some kind of a masochist” - Markiplier Also Markiplier: *eats jalapeños casually*

[@giannemae]

"I have not made any mistakes" has that same energy as Pewd's "Zero deaths"

[@dantevitale5714]

Mark doesn't even make decisions, he just forgets what he's doing and then things happen.

[@hashtag.arielbenl]

😆😆😆

[@mojavecourier6987]

That sums up this channel lol

[@monkeyshitstorm]

I love that mark kept complaining about his eyes hurting from the jalepeños but then continues to rub his eyes

[@arlenfreeman3439]

It's reflexive--you can't help but rub your eyes when they're irritated.

[@Deathfang-rz1fs]

With the very tips of his fingers

[@omaraied2920]

Mark has £5: I have no money Mark now has £0: Nevermind we are all good

[@nedimayvaz170]

Mark: **has absolutely no money to lose, his whole family is deadsick and he stands there with 5 bucks left** Also Mark: **proceeds to buy completely unnecessary upgrade for 5 bucks** Me: *STONKS**

[@apersonwhocantmoveitmoveit7688]

*BUSINESS IS BOOMING*

[@existentialcrisis8011]

Mark's videos: Tons of adhd, insanity and marks stories of the stupid things he's done Mark: "Just another day in Canada."

[@rahmat4848]

Gak bisa bahasa ingris

[@s1ren_exe]

are we really surprised about all of Mark's poor decisions here this is the man who bought lefty because he was 5 dollars

[@jaxcraft2848]

14:55: PFFFT! WTF, MARK!? 🤣

[@OrrenH]

... So am I the only one that just alternated food and heat for my family each day to save more money?

[@mrawesomeface4174]

Hey guys, he didn't ask us for our papers in the beginning! Everyone come in!

[@Zack_Zander]

10:00 FOR KOLECHIA!

[@ghastlygavin]

HAHA YES *BRINGS IN THE BOMBS*

[@sargentwill570]

Wait so i didn't need to forge these papers... well then

[@yeppsii171]

Certified jorgi moment

[@phasedcloak2835]

Just say: THE ORDER KNOWS

[@thetardyowlvg9155]

Mark, touches his eyes with his jalapeno fingers: Owww Also Mark: RUBS HIS BURNING EYES WITH JALAPENO FINGERS

[@kanati1133]

Also also mark: I'm not a masochist guys, I'm just testing my tolerance for rubbing my jalapeño fingers in my eyes

[@iyrsh07]

16:15 STEPHENIE GRAIRE-

[@WolfDLuna]

Marks kombucha girl reaction to the hot chocolate was priceless. 👌

[@AlcarT94]

Markiplier: has problems with Jalapeños. Me in thick Russian accent: Peppers Please

[@I_Am_Very_Scary]

*sigh* god damn it.

[@hockeygoalie7831]

I hope the engineer was kind enough to give the recruiter a call on the walk over to blowing up the guards so that Mark gets his 5 currency bonus

[@orange7153]

He was considering not blowing himself up, thinking he could start a new life. But he remained loyal to his homeland, and blew himself up to kill exactly 3 border guards.

[@CreaperFTW]

"you do not make mistakes" yep

[@blakethompson7290]

Marks method of making hot chocolate is the perfect representation of my problem solving skills

[@breadwielder5777]

I can't explain how fast my brain went "DOPAMINE!!!"

[@vo1cano707]

@KevinBB shut up chain

[@Kraumyke]

@KevinBB shut up

[@victo3263]

@KevinBB shut up no one asked.

[@the.muffin]

sameeeeeeeeeee (but also shut up chain)

[@InvalidNote]

Same

[@Tomas-vv9ou]

markiplier: i should be ok (literally 30 seconds later) :pain:

[@AxxLAfriku]

Why is Donald Trump pretty and I am not? But why does he only have a wife but I have TWO HANDSOME GIRLFRIENDS who I show off in my masterpiece YT videos? Do you know the answer, dear zoma

[@bacon_haired_dude7050]

@@AxxLAfriku 😐

[@bacon_haired_dude7050]

@KevinBB 😐

[@Sellswordking]

My brain: *utter silence* . . . Mark: *soft echoing from a dark corner* my ‘peñio fingers Me: *giggles*

[@ASMODEAUXX]

Now this can never leave my brain. Thank you.

[@Sellswordking]

@@ASMODEAUXX It has literaly been cracking me Tf up for a week

[@Cardmagicfinn]

17:26 Looks Like some Austrian painter came back to live…

[@l.a.k]

Markiplier: *has hope for bureaucracy* Entry permit seal: allow me to introduce myself

[@godman1117]

Marks like “we shouldn’t do this” before immediately doing it with a smile

[@godman1117]

Remember that one time mark didn’t make a mistake? Me either, don’t worry.

[@hashtag.arielbenl]

😆

[@godman1117]

@Saylor S ? 9:11

[@army0fgnomes]

Mark: "The heat from the 'peños isn't really bothering my mouth anymore." Autocaptions: "The heat from the p*nis...."

[@skyfon8497]

Mark: I shouldn’t be touching my eyes literally 10 seconds later Mark is still rubbing his eyes.