[F4A] Your New Girlfriend is Definitely Not a Witch

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

Movie recs of the day: You like a witch who knows when to take a song break? Try Hocus Pocus (1993) and Hocus Pocus 2 (2022). You like ambiguity as to your partner's true intentions? Try Black Christmas (1974).

[@JakeSm4sh]

Christmas huh? There's a white Christmas and a blue Christmas but I never heard of a black Christmas.

[@chrisleyhe9039]

@@JakeSm4sh A black Christmas is said to be longer than a white Christmas.🤣🤣🤣

[@JakeSm4sh]

@@chrisleyhe9039 Why. Also look at the reply on Conners video

[@chrisleyhe9039]

As I mentioned before (2 audios ago), I love "Hocus Pocus", and The Witches of Eastwick".😊👍

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

@@chrisleyhe9039 I have not seen The Witches of Eastwick, but I know I should!

[@Someguy_9]

No matter how subtle the wizard, a dagger between his shoulder blades will seriously cramp his style.

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

You have a point.

[@sephuris5555]

Judging by the title i expected princess bride reenactment of chase us around the house screaming lair

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

That's a video I'd love to do.

[@aldente3868]

Honestly I wouldn't even complain. Not that complaining is a wise choice here mind you 😉 She clearly loves the main character even if she's got a dark side as big as the Moon. Not to mention she's cute as a button. I love how you took a concept as tame as Bewitched and added _juuuust_ enough creepiness to it to give it an edge. You made her just goofy enough and a bad enough liar to make her cute but also made her subtle threats carry just weight to take her seriously. It's a tight rope walk but you're one hell of a vocal Acrobat.😊

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

Hmm...when she says she has a good reason for not telling you, maybe she means she doesn't want you and Endora crossing paths yet. (I love Bewitched. What a classic.)

[@aldente3868]

@@JuniperJusticeASMR Oooh now that could be a great twist if this story has a sequel!😁 We think that she's the wicked one but turns out she was just shielding us from her Endora and that's why she doesn't want us snooping around about magic. Would also explain why her first reflex to getting nervous is to mildly threaten to hex us. It's just a family habit!

[@keithonline20]

😂 i love that the listener is like, 'you have toads as pets" "Yeah, they're cute" Me: ☝️😧, 🤔, touchè 5:18

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

Toads are adorable!

[@anomanderrake654]

No offense but when I picture you learning magic I just assume it would be like a mickey sorcerer's apprentice type of thing.

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

That's...extremely likely to be honest.

[@21eienni]

Didn't expect her to be...the "dangerous" kind, let's say. Still cute. But let's make sure not to become her ex.

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

Oh yeah, just don't break up with her and you'll...probably be fine.

[@chrisleyhe9039]

Aaah! So that's what you meant by "on the right track". I forgot that "I put a spell on you" was also used in Hocus Pocus. Plus I like how she kept her cheery composure while at that same time ambiguosly signaling to him that he should quit while he's ahead. Great job Jumiper! LOVED IT!!!😊💚👍 Fun fact: I was kinda hoping it would be "Magic" by Olivia Newton John. My pre-teen years were awful. Moving to a new neighborhood and unfamiliar with the other kids, and surrounded by new schoolteachers who focused more on chasitising and berating bad grades rather than assisting and helping with them. I felt so alone & isolated. Then one day, I was in the car with my mother and she listened to a semi-oldies station. "Magic" came on the radio. I was 12 years and by that time the song (1980) was 11 years old. I heard such a beautiful voice (R.I.P. Olivia) and such beautiful lyrics that sounded like she wanted to take me away from it all. Her voice touched my heart and the Lyrics totally swept me off my 12 year old feet. I immediately went to the nearest record store (back when they existed) and purchased the "Xanadu" C.D. The "loop" option was the newest technology on C.D. players back then and I was so happy at that. Fast forward to right now. My GF (of 6 years) is well aquainted with the story between me and that song. And she weaponises it....😆LOL😆 Whenever we play chess, whenever we play "SuperMariokart-- Battle mode", whenever we and my social circle play poker at my dining room table, she plays that song on the stereo because she knows that it'll mess with my head and throw me off my game.🤣🤣🤣👍

[@JakeSm4sh]

Holy f*ck that's a lot of writing also that first paragraph I connect so well with. I moved three times so I know how that must have felt. Holy f*ck I hope everythings good now bro and that was a sweet fun fact at least I thought it was.😅

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

I remember watching Hocus Pocus for the first time when I was a kid. The minute the sisters burst into song, I knew I wanted to be a witch when I grew up. I kind of love Xanadu. The plot is eh, but the music is great. It's in that weird transition period between '70s disco/funk and '80s synth pop, and it doesn't quite know what it wants to be but it goes for it. I wouldn't feel confident singing Magic a cappella, though, and I don't think I can work out how to play that bass line on the ukulele.

[@chrisleyhe9039]

@@JakeSm4sh I was wondering if you'd read all that info about me. And yes bro, everythings GREAT! I'm on my 7th year out of 30 years of mortgage payments on my house. All my friends at my dining room table right now make as much money as I do but they're are struggling hard to make ends meet while living in gated communities and driving Jaguars. I chose a more conservative path. I live in a middle class suburb of Baltimore drive a regular middle class Toyota so I can build a healthy nest-egg and not stress out as much as they do.😊$👍

[@chrisleyhe9039]

@@JuniperJusticeASMR Such a baseline on a ukelele would sound incredible. And I remember that "weird transition" you're talking about. 1980 gave us "Magic" by O.N.J. and 8 years later a "one hit wonder" group called information society gave us "what's on your mind". A song that starts off with De Forest Kelly saying "it's worked so far but we're not out of it yet" then continues with Leonard Nimoy repeatedly saying "Pure energy".🤣🤣🤣 such a fun era that was.

[@JakeSm4sh]

@@chrisleyhe9039 It was just a matter of time bro before I read it and yes I did read all of it

[@s.o.q2914]

Me thinking: " Should I tell her I'm a wizard or question her first?"

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

Better to get all the information before you confess to anything yourself.

[@s.o.q2914]

@@JuniperJusticeASMR true and I seen The first Hocus Pocus film, maybe I'll seen part 2 later.

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

@@s.o.q2914 It was pretty fun. Had a couple of good songs, too. And an emotional twist at the end that made me cry.

[@s.o.q2914]

@@JuniperJusticeASMR I know it was amazing

[@imakecrappyvideos9360]

Is this what veing gaslit feels like?

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

Possibly!

[@TheYounglingSlayer]

I really don't understand what all the fuss is about. She's a witch, I'm effectively a space wizard, I think it could work!

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

And since you're both definitely not dabbling in the Dark Side, it should be fine!

[@mogwiawolf4354]

Hope this story continues 😸

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

I wouldn't mind revisiting this character, but I don't think the writer plans to write any more.

[@powerup3005]

Just the caption in the thumbnail made me cackle, I had to go rewatch Princess Bride, you have to name her Valerie

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

Oh her name is absolutely Valerie. Have fun storming the castle!

[@powerup3005]

@@JuniperJusticeASMR Do you think they'll make it?

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

@@powerup3005 It would take a miracle.

[@jamesgriffin7962]

I wish I could have a witch for a girlfriend would love to have some magic in my life

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

She'll be back this Friday...

[@joshuaconnall4237]

They’re yet to discover our true intentions as a skinwalker (we need to find out how to make meth)

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

Well...I'll admit that's unexpected.

[@SeanHartnett-t8c]

Should I confess that i am a wizard, or a witch or a sorcerer or whatever you call a man who pratices magic. I also I too had an army of crows at one point, feed them for a week, like a thousand of them followed my car.

[@randombrit13]

Thanks for the upload sir juniper, I’ve used bewitching too many audios recently recently so I guess that makes this one magnificent and magical instead! Witch of course is the usual for your content. I cannot believe that a single sane person would (given the opportunity) not tame ravens, crows, magpies, or any other corvids. However I’ve never been on board with the internets love of frogs and apparently by extension toads, I don’t dislike them I just have no opinion on them of all the animals that exist they are certainly some of them.

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

Toads are some of the ugliest animals I can think of, and that's why I love them.

[@S4ns]

You know, your nose does this little twitch thing sometimes. It's cute.

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

😅 I practiced that a lot as a kid! I used to "cast a spell" on my mom to make her obey my commands. She was a good sport about it. Always did what I said when she saw me twitch my nose.

[@1Dreamsmakers]

You have a beautiful singing voice 💜

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

Thank you!

[@MidnightSmoke]

I am not a Darrin (Bewitched) or a Tony (I dream of Jeanie) who forbade them to use their magic, I embrace your power and hope to us it to my benefit. Here is a like and comment to help your channel grow and get you the recognition you deserve.

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

Darren was a scrub. That Major Nelson, though...😊

[@TorbenTalked]

Not heard it yet, but still a like because Juniper is fucking amazing!

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

You're fucking amazing too.

[@FNWendigo]

Were you singing the hex girls in the beginning? Just got roundhoused bu nostalgia 😂

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

It's the song from Hocus Pocus, which was originally done by Screamin' Jay Hawkins in the '60s, but now that I listen, the songs are pretty similar. (I'm not as cool as the Hex Girls though.)

[@honeyjm8324]

Oh come on, using a princess bride reference isn’t fair

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

How could I not?

[@bill6]

My new girlfriend definitely IS a witch 👀

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

Well, the cat's out of the bag now!

[@JakeSm4sh]

I had a black and white cat. but not anymore I loved her so much she was my world

[@chrisleyhe9039]

Bro, if you're talking about the "Tuxedo" species of housecat (Felix Doemesticus) then I especially feel bad for you. That species is very social and outgoing. Always anxious to meet new people, always anxious to be petted and given attention by total strangers. That's something tuxedos are reputavely known for.

[@JakeSm4sh]

Bro I'm talking about my cat that apppeared at my house randomly one day and I kept her ever since.

[@JakeSm4sh]

@@chrisleyhe9039 You there bro bc I need to tell you something and keep this between you and mec please. Do not tell Conner

[@JakeSm4sh]

@@chrisleyhe9039 You there bro?

[@chrisleyhe9039]

@@JakeSm4sh Here I am.

[@luissantiago5163]

Ayy wholesome time

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

😊

[@lol-2247]

a surprise to be sure but a welcome one

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

☺️

[@jamesgudgeon4868]

Love the 🎵 song

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

Thank you! 😊

[@alicev5496]

Slightly disturbing, as befits a witch. I'm going to get the duck and comically oversized scale, brb

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

It's a fair cop.

[@Dragoon-ob3mg]

Better a be a witch I have been hoarding black cats for weeks

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

I love black cats!

[@chrisleyhe9039]

A Juniper witch AND she sings? I'm gonna take 2 guesses. Either "Come little children" from Hocus Pocus, or "Magic" by Olivia Newton John.🤔🤔🤔

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

Hmm, well you're on the right track... (I'm starting to like the sound of my singing voice now. I'm shoving songs into scripts that have no room for them.)

[@chrisleyhe9039]

@@JuniperJusticeASMR On the right track am I?😊 I might come back to you with more guesses😆👍

[@JakeSm4sh]

@@JuniperJusticeASMR I love your singing it makes my heart melt

[@randombrit13]

@@JuniperJusticeASMR there is very much room for them.

[@chrisleyhe9039]

@@randombrit13 Thank you Random!😊👍

[@that1otherJake]

Is...that a Princess Bride reference? 😂

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

Of course! I'll take any chance to reference that movie.

[@that1otherJake]

@@JuniperJusticeASMR As you wish. 😅

[@FireLordJohn3191]

Is this a princess bride reference?

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

Yep! 💖

[@FireLordJohn3191]

@@JuniperJusticeASMR what a classic film.

[@SeanHartnett-t8c]

also why do you think i know you are a witch. I am pretty obviously one too, Okay fine, this is the book of shadows, this is the most obvious Celtic Pagan death goddess statue ever, and the neckless is obviously pagan.

[@JakeSm4sh]

Not another one of these bc you know why. VV did a video called "Your new GF is definitely not a zombie." I swear your ideas are similar in so many ways it's confusing.

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

Another one of what?

[@JakeSm4sh]

​@@JuniperJusticeASMR Congrats to both of you. You both manged to make me cry during October. You with the ghost GF and VV with the letter in the Big Bad Wolf video

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

@@JakeSm4sh I'm sorry about that.

[@JakeSm4sh]

@@JuniperJusticeASMR It's fine now but answer me this are there anymore videos from your event that are tear jerkers

[@JuniperJusticeASMR]

@@JakeSm4sh Nope, the rest should all be funny, scary, or cute.