Father Knows: LGBTQ+ ft. Deison Afualo of Two Idiot Girls || Father Knows Something Podcast

Welcome back to Father Knows Something! Real People. Real Stories. Real Dad advice with a dash of ADHD, and maybe a couple of millennials chiming in from time to time to add their takes.
This weeks episode has Jerry, Morgan, and Deison Afualo of Two Idiot Girls talking about write-ins relating to LGBTQ+ issues. This is the first of many of this theme and we wanted to do it justice by bringing on someone apart of the community to help. Can't wait to hear your thoughts and advice you'd give!!
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[@FatherKnowsSomething]

Full story here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/rJbEZ6VvgauWsLs

[@megantiffany]

I love Deison so much 😭 she’s such a kind person and constantly acknowledges someone when their speaking, just a light of a human. ❤️

[@kathrynjones8748]

She seems like the friend that reassures you that she’s listening and she cares, when your talking and no one else pays attention❤

[@heezypeasy8611]

I was pretty much gonna write the exact same comment!!! Deison seems like a genuinely good person!

[@frickincamryn]

she’s so sweet and listening to two idiot girls makes me so happy that her & drew have each other because it sounds like growing up drew did a lot of protecting of her big sis which is so adorable😭

[@lisam7667]

Was going to write the same question hi g and her voice is so soothing, really like the energy between Deison, Morgan & Jerry in this episode. Please have her guest host again. ❤

[@shmellomello]

To the writer who is trapped in a heterosexual marriage: I'm sorry you feel like you can't leave. You absolutely can. It'll really hurt at first, hell, maybe for a good while It'll hurt. However, all we have in this life is ourselves. We are not responsible for the happiness of others. Please, don't make yourself miserable to make someone else feel better. You're not doing yourself or your current partner any favors. The longer you wait, the worse it's going to hurt for both of you.

[@hvnterly8388]

TW: suicide To piggyback off of this comment to that OP, if your exhusband is suicidal as a result, you can work with friends and family to get him to professional help (like therapy and psychiatric appointments) you pay for it, a friend or family member picks him up (as a degree of separation between you so that seeing you doesn’t make it worse), maybe work with his bestfriend to make sure that they’re hanging out weekly until the worst part of separation is done. But, as someone who has lost a parent to suicide, and had a friend threaten it, whatever happens is ultimately out of your control. You can’t stay with someone to please them because eventually resentment will build because you’re sacrificing everything and they’ll never be enough to repay you. Then you’ll be miserable and they’ll be miserable because they can’t give you what you need. So before it gets that toxic, please try something else.

[@tiffmitch702]

She is the fault she knew she was gay and wasted his ten years thats s decade to take from someone yes she is accountable for someones happiness to answer your question

[@Noah-vj8fn]

love y’all, but deeply disagree with suggesting non-monogamy for the person who’s recently discovered she’s a lesbian but is having trouble leaving her husband. sharing a new partner would just keep them enmeshed in the same toxic way, add a bunch more explosively complicated emotional variables for them to trip over, while putting some poor new person in the middle of it all. “relationship broken, add more people” has been a sarcastic tagline for bad polyamory for as long as i can remember, and this would be exactly that. as someone who’s been polyamorous all my life, i love the general positivity, but the way it’s been brought up here has me yelling at my screen.

[@jane_wants_to_feel]

fr. i'm not even poly and this seems like a bad idea.

[@thekalamari]

10000%

[@alaskangirl]

For the first story I WOULD NOT say anything about maybe being bisexual or just in love with a person's soul-- I feel like it could give the mom hope for something that might never come. And if it doesn't shake out that way the fallout could be worse.

[@ESPHMacD]

ETA: OH OH!!! DO NOT FORCE YOURSELF OR YOUR PARTNER INTO A POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIP JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK BREAKING UP WILL HURT THEM! DO NOT MAKE YOU DATING OTHER PEOPLE A CONDITION OF STAYING IN YOUR MARRIAGE. That’s such a tricky transition. Because are they agreeing to open the marriage because they want it, or because you made it a condition of you staying and they don’t want to lose you? It only builds resentment, because they want you and only you, but you will no longer want them in the same way. It’s not fair to them to keep them sequestered away like that while you go out and live your truth. Pain is a part of life, it comes sometimes with the closing of a chapter. There is no way to completely avoid the grief that comes with the end of a relationship no matter how amicable it ended. It’s not fair to make your partner live in the grey area of you could leave them at any time because they know that you are no longer attracted to them. With the first story, I do feel like OP’s dad needs to step up a bit with regards to his wife. OP doesn’t want to get in between her parents and/or cause a fight, but why is her father okay with OP’s mom speaking ill of her, especially behind her back? I can’t personally imagine avoiding a conversation with my partner is she was acting upset about one of our children who she wasn’t previously in negative discourse with. And I guess we don’t really know if OP’s dad is avoiding the convo, we only have her perspective after all, but… well….. That feeling when your parent has your back is not one I would trade for anything. Knowing that my mom would go to war with her mother over me fills the disappointment that my grandma’s attitude leaves me with. If I were OP’s parent I would WANT to protect her from any harm, and what her mom is doing is causing harm (intentionally or not, fear based or not). As the other parent I would WANT to get to the bottom of that issue so my kid doesn’t have to fall into the “What did I do wrong that my mom doesn’t love me anymore”. Because OP didn’t do anything wrong, she is just being openly true to herself. I would want to know why my partner suddenly flipped a switch away from full support of one of our kids.

[@DiMagnolia]

Majorly agree with both

[@amac8652]

jerry i love you, but when you say things that make it seem like everybody is bisexual, it upsets me as a lesbian who has been on the receiving end of comments like these. i really truly don’t like men at all, and some people can’t seem to accept this. after all, the hardest part about realizing you’re a lesbian is not that you like girls but that you don’t like boys and you will never be what society deems “normal”. please don’t think this comment is hate! i rly appreciate your support toward the lgbtqia community, it just saddens me when i hear these kind of comments because it can feel very invalidating. i hope this comment doesn’t upset anyone on the show, love you guys and what you do. and keep being an amazing father figure for lgbtq youth jerry :))❤️

[@Meeposaurus]

Agreed!

[@gracethompson6926]

Deison gives me the warmest vibes ever ✨

[@YaseminTheGypsy]

not a good judge of character then

[@gracethompson6926]

@@YaseminTheGypsy why?

[@Chipsnsalsayumyum]

I have advice from a very similar situation to the story around the 1:04:04 mark. To OP, if you know in your gut that you want to spend your life with a woman, when the time is right and you feel ready, leave your husband. I was identifying as a lesbian and realized I was bisexual, while in a long-term relationship with a woman. I didn’t know how to handle it, either. She ended up allowing me to date men while staying with her, so I could figure myself out. It turns out, this is the most painful way I could’ve gone about it. Trust me, your partner will feel hurt and like they aren’t enough for you, and that’s not fair. It’s like having a one-sided open relationship. Looking back, not ending things first before I explored my sexuality is one of my largest regrets. Stay true to yourself and go for what you want in your heart ❤️ but close the current chapter first. If you’re meant to be with him, you’ll find your way back together.

[@allisonglad5173]

For the story about the straight friend asking his gay friend on a date: Morgan hit the nail on the head when she said your sexuality isn't ruining the friendship and that this lack of respect for you is whats ruining it. Keep your head up. I know you don't want to lose a friend, but if he doesn't respect you or your boundaries, he's probably not a friend worth having anyway

[@marianadineva14]

Agree. It is super toxic and at least she is gay if she is heterosexual, he would have already pressured her into a relationship she didn’t want. Also, it doesn’t matter if she is single or not, he just doesn’t respect her boundaries and doesn’t take “no” for an answer.

[@DiMagnolia]

Class “nice guy” after getting “friend zoned”. I’m queer and polyamorous so I’m in love with several of my friends and attracted to even more. Worst case scenario that’s happened is I tell them, they don’t feel the same, we continue being friends. Men act like they’ll implode if a woman does not cater to their emotional or physical desires, you’ll be fine buddy.

[@Debble]

I think it's really smart to invite someone that know just more from their own lgtb experience once you live it you just know different things non livers just can't even imagine

[@petalchild]

I love Deison's voice

[@Foxyprincess3]

"Part of the reason you don't want to lose him is because you don't want him to be lost" man that line hit me really deep

[@mkaverage4773]

I think it’s the 3rd story. The lesbian with the husband. You do not want to hurt him by choosing your own happiness but he is not willing to do the same for you. It’s easier said than done sometimes but real love is letting someone who doesn’t want to be with you go, even when it hurts. Yes he will be hurt if you break up, but that is short term pain. If he wants to he can choose to move on & find the right person for himself eventually. If you sacrifice yourself for him, you will suffer long term pain. You will never be able to be yourself. If he genuinely cares about your happiness he would never ask you to stay with him. He knows you don’t want to be with him romantically. He doesn’t want a relationship with you because it’s right for you, it’s because he thinks it’s right for him. And in the end you will both be unhappy because you are a lesbian! You can only pretend for so long & he can only deny it for so long. Polyamory’s isn’t for when one person will suffer if you leave them so you have to stay. It is a type of relationship where each partner wants to be with their partners, happily, without the fear that someone will be depressed if you leave them. If this was any other situation & you said “I want to leave my husband but when I do he constantly tells & shows me how bad his mental health is” Or you fear he will kill himself, what would we call that? I’m not saying your husband is trying to manipulate you & he has every right to be in pain but it’s not your job to be his source of happiness. It is not your job to sacrifice your life & happiness for his. That is unfair & if he truly loved you as he says he does, he wouldn’t ask you to stay with him. If he chooses to stay in the pain forever & never moves on, that is his choice. If you choose to stay with him & sacrifice yourself for him despite him not willing to do the same, eventually that becomes your choice. But why do that when he won’t risk short term pain for your long term happiness & life. (W nuance, if he is manipulating w threats of suicide or abuse that’s a different story. I don’t think he is from the info provided but I obviously wouldn’t victim blame if that were the case.)

[@user-ok4xb1rd9f]

I completely agree. Sexuality aside, a lot of people choose to stay together because of comfort, but that doesn't mean they stay together because of love. Also divorce is going to be painfully, but in long term it's going to make them both happier. I hope OP will be able to accept herself and allow herself to be happy.

[@crystal.fairydust]

Exactly all of this you said everything better than I could. My partner and I are newly open to the idea of polyamory and the biggest thing I've learned is that shouldn't be used to fix problem. And in this case it would be being used to try to fix

[@KZesty]

Love the guest chemistry combo on this one! :) I really like Deison from what I've heard.

[@ohsobridgey]

Highly recommend looking up Two Idiot Girls !

[@Castkett4ever]

I think what would apply to Deison when it comes to "do I love this man&have a crush?" is that she likes their aesthetic; they are aesthetically pleasing and you don't have to love men to realise that. It's often confused with feelings for said person. Not related, but your voice is incredibly soothing and calming, Deison!!

[@leah3801]

For the married lesbian -- ask yourself, does this man who's been your best friend for 15 years, married to you for 10 years, your other half (even if only platonically), do you really, truly think he can be honestly happy if you are miserable and suicidal? If he truly loves you as it sounds he does, I don't think the answer is yes. You'd be giving up yourself and your happiness for neither of you to be fully happy. Unless a non-monogamous relationship is an answer or you want to stay together purely platonically (and are BOTH on the same page that's ALL it is), then unfortunately staying does not seem like a valid option

[@sarahhudson7108]

Biggest smile plastered on my face this whole episode I love this group

[@ollieciro3452]

It’s so cool and so refreshing to see how y’all are open and understanding about non-monogamy. You definitely have helpful takes on everything, and it’s cool to see different lifestyles really easily normalized in your conversations. I’m a queer and non monogamous person and I love all of y’all, thanks for this episode ❤️

[@jane_wants_to_feel]

i definitely think it's great they're so supportive of polyamory, but i really don't think that proposal was fair. she doesn't want to be with him that way. forcing herself into that isn't fair to herself or the hypothetical third that would get caught in the middle of this

[@Hannah-pn1tu]

For the first story- sometimes parents come around. My mom was not accepting of my identity in middle school and high school but now she is more accepting. It takes time for parents to realize that it is not a phase. I hope it turns out for OP ❤️

[@BellaLankedlanked]

felt this. i came out to my parents when i was 12 as pan. i left a note and then went to spend the night at my friends house. i got a very angry text to come home in the morning and when i came home the next day, my mom screamed at me for two hours while my dad said nothing. it was traumatising. in 2019, i accidentally re-came out to my mom about this girl that would flirt with me at my work and she said "oh, okay. if you're happy." and my dad made a comment about me having a girlfriend that was just in passing but very wholesome. sometimes it really does just take some time and educating yourself.

[@somethingelse4204]

Story one: I'd suggest to OP that she ask her sibling not to pass along the terrible things her mom is saying about her behind her back. It's not helping anything and OP doesn't need that toxicity weighing her down.

[@zoburton7896]

I have been waiting for this episode since you said something about it on THT. i knew it was going to be hilarious. lowkey chekcing youtube everyday to see if it was uploaded. i have also been telling everyone and their mother about FKS. a lot of my friends don't have both parents or have hardships with their parents. the Penguin socks are rad as heck!!!!!! thanks for doing the hard work Jorgan and Justin to help bring us much needed content!!!

[@Olivianization]

Thanks guys for getting me through my morning working 🤞🏼 Love you guys!

[@orcaletta]

jerry needs to learn not everyone is pansexual and some of us really are gay/lesbian LOL. love him but i think he’s having trouble understanding that not everyone’s sexuality is fluid

[@rxxrcousin]

I think the daughter sitting down and telling her mom, “This may change in the future,” was a hurtful comment :/ No person should have to do that when coming out.

[@gabriellagrosso9883]

This was my knee jerk reaction but then I realized that these people writing in DO LOVE their partner despite not being sexually attracted to them. The writer is stating they don’t want to lose them either. So I thinks it’s fair for them to offer a suggestion of non monogamy.

[@Poitostain]

Omg I've been waiting for this type of episode!!

[@Imc0di]

I got 6 minutes in before hearing guest say “mhm” “yeah” “okay” the entire time Jerry spoke finally made my head pop

[@nisaanisahmad9727]

While I love how open you guys are about non-monogamy, I really don't believe it's the solution to the story with the woman trapped in a heterosexual marriage. Not only is she a lesbian (so she isn't really attracted to her husband, sexually or romantically, at all), implementing it is only putting a bandaid on the problem. She needs a clean break from her husband, despite him not wanting it, because it seems damaging to them both to be in a marriage like this. If she's a lesbian she cannot really be her true self when married to a man who doesn't want to respect of acknowledge her true identity. I know she hates the idea of hurting someone she loves just to be happy, but she should think about how she's hurting him too by remaining in this unhappy relationship and not letting him move on to someone who is right for him. I hope she figures it out

[@aurasstudio6338]

Morgan please sleep it’s 4 am!! Amazing ep

[@TheSMarie42]

To the girl who’s “best friend” plans to ask her on a date despite her being a lesbian, Morgan is 100% right, you’re in danger girl! He clearly doesn’t respect your sexuality and he probably thinks that if he can get you in bed he can “fix” you. He is not the Steve Harrington to your Robin Buckley. I would cut ties now, it might feel painful to lose a friend but he’s a nice guy who doesn’t get why you aren’t in love yet, not a friend.

[@mkaverage4773]

& the story where the lesbians bff keeps asking her out. If he doesn’t respect you unless you have a partner, he doesn’t respect you period. Like when a guy keeps asking you to dance at the bar until you say you have boyfriend. NO means NO. It shouldn’t take a whole other person for someone to respect your boundaries.

[@saradrake5621]

The woman who is married and tried to leave, but then stayed bc the husband was so upset- a poly relationship is not the answer. It would, in the long term, hurt both of them to maintain a relationship with each other. He deserves to be with someone who actually is IN love with him and have a fulfilling relationship. And she deserves to live her authentic self. They can’t do that together. He’s scared of starting over, but he also doesn’t know what it feels like to have a partner who actually desires him. It’s not fair to either of them for them to stay together.

[@savspokenasmr1175]

Deison is an incredible guest! As a queer person with family issues, Podcasts like these warm my heart so much. Thank you all for the wonderful content!

[@sadlystuckinreality]

I came out to my mom initially as bisexual when I was 18 and her response was 'Is it bad that I kind of already knew?' Years later, after loads of people assuming (and outright stating) that I was asexual, I came out as a bi oriented aroace. She has a harder time understanding the label and I get it, it's more complicated than just being bi. But she and my dad have always been accepting of me and whatever label I felt fit best. Now I feel like I know who I truly am. I've always been bi, there's just more to it. I'm really grateful they've always been accepting of me. Really loved this episode and getting Deison's point of view on things!

[@olliej.3536]

This podcast/ Jerry really does hold a special place in my heart because hes the only father i can turn to for guidance, besides my grandfather. My parents spilt when I was a baby and he stopped taking me and my brother for visits when I was 5. I tried to build a relationship with him when I was 10 we saw him once, and then 2 months ago I googled his name and found his obituary and saw that he had passed 9 months ago. My mom has had long term relationships since my bio dad but I'm not even gonna go into those details.

[@fanybau2763]

I really love this podcast, you can definitely find comfort in it, thanks to this it made me realize that I’m going to be a good mom and will not force anything on my child specially if it has to do with their sexuality or how they identify🥰 we love you guys

[@darkecoorb2225]

I never comment but I'm so excited for this episode, I've been waiting for an LGBT+ video from the THT/FKS community for so long

[@FatherKnowsSomething]

So glad you’re here to listen :) THT also has a lgbtq+ episode! It’s a bit older though so you may have to dig to find it

[@kyqueenn]

There’s so much I want to say bc I never knew some of these problems existed and I feel seen and almost cried at work. But what I really wanted to say is that Morgan and her dad are literally the same person. I usually listen to her channel every day at work but I’m running out of content so I came here and Jerry sir, is the funniest person ever and I can just tell he’s a great father.

[@lilfishboy253]

55:46 It isn’t even about that guy not believing that she’s gay. If she was straight/into guys as well that doesn’t automatically mean she should be into her friend… so toxic. It’s horrible that she feels she has to use her sexuality as reasoning for her rejection of him. I hope she sees this is the opposite of respect and that she doesn’t deserve to be treated like that by a “friend”.

[@meganjones7700]

Jerrie, in the most respectful way possible, not everyone in the lgbtq communities sexuality is fluid. Some people really are just lesbian/gay. As a lesbian myself I was quite offended by some of the things you said and even though I know you probably didn’t mean any malice while saying them, believe people when they tell you their sexuality u less they state otherwise down the line.

[@Meeposaurus]

!!!! Agreed

[@ionethenb2764]

Dearest Jerry: as an older gen Z lad (25) who is both Pan, and Non-Binary... You really are the positive father figure I wished for, but never had. You approach every situation with honesty, a level head, and kindness. So many queer, trans, and gender non-conforming kids grew up isolated or alienated in our family circles, because family is weirdly OBESSED with their kids' sexuality. Growing up, it seems almost normalized that parents will feel ownership over their kids sex life; so when it's not something that they prefer FOR THEMSELVES (straight and cis)- suddenly it's offensive. You certainly make this Non-Binary, queer, Neurodivergent lad feel safe and seen. Thank YOU!!

[@user-ok4xb1rd9f]

About 4th story. I know there's a lot of discussion about whether women can be friends with men. But as a lesbian there's even more problems. I definitely know men, who become my friends only because they had crush on me. But also a few women. Which of course happens, but I already have a hard time becoming friends with people and opening up, so it kinda sucks

[@natjean]

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS EPISODE! i need more deision on father knows AND two hot takes! 💗 ILY DEISON!

[@samanthapadgett2594]

So pumped for this episode!

[@destanyhartle3837]

love the podcast

[@kirstienorton3993]

Thank you for saying Demi Sexual we dont get a lot of publicity!

[@jillw2607]

I love you guys, best way to drive is listening!

[@michelle93]

Deison has the best vibes and her voice is so soothing ❤

[@jiodoes2151]

Hiii! I'm first. This is so cool 😄

[@mattuwu9978]

20:43 Funnily enough, my dad’s acceptance of me being trans was a pretty immediate lightbulb moment. We were in the kitchen, and he offhandedly mentioned that he “missed his daughter”. I wasn’t angry at him for saying that; I knew it wasn’t malicious. It was a new concept to him, so he was obviously confused and scared for me. I responded, verbatim, “I’m still right here, dad. Same player, just a different username. _(pause)_ I mean, I’m still willing to watch Star Trek with you”. He went silent and spent the rest of the day in his office upstairs. The very next day, he started calling me Mattie and loudly announcing “BOY” whenever I walked into the living room. Even gave me the father-son hug-and-three-quick-back-pats.

[@ae.s2093]

I think Morgan it’s too harsh to her dad in this episode 😭😭

[@TwoHotTakes]

I just didn’t want him to discredit someone’s sexualityyyyy awhhh

[@DiMagnolia]

With story 2 I would start with the easiest person first so they can back you up with the harder convos. Like they crew said, don’t do it if you’ll be at risk, not until you’re an established adult in a safe environment if ever.

[@peaceshouldprevail]

Seems to be an interesting episode. Just started watching.

[@shelby_button]

I get what Jerry was saying on the friend story. Sexuality or not, she isn’t interested in him in any way more than friendship and he is blatantly disrespecting that. He’s not only ignoring her sexuality, but he’s also ignoring that she just only sees him as a friend and only wants that from him. And a friendship should be respected and honored no matter if you normally like the same gender as your friend is or not.

[@makeupmymind3264]

Deison’s voice 🧈

[@angelicagonzalez6295]

Loving this episode

[@autumn7143]

For the first one I would go to my mom and say, i don’t know why you’re treating me like I’m a different person than before I came out. I’m still your daughter. My friend is still the same person she was before, but now we’re together. Aren’t you glad I’m with someone you loved so much? I don’t understand why you’re so against me being with such a wonderful person. Second, I’m a Texan. I’m Demi and married to a man, I found my connection. I have a daughter who’s in her early twenties and ace. In my family of three there’s two of us who are queer. I know it’s hard, but I think your brother would like to just know you. I’d just say that I’m afraid to tell them something, but I want you to know who I am. I don’t want to blind side you later either. Third, it’s hard to find yourself and that it’s different from what you’ve been taught you’re supposed to be. It’ll be hard to leave, but you can. You have a love for him, but it’s not what’s right for you romantically. Try going to therapy and talking through options with a neutral third party there. To show your pain to each other. You both you need to be honest about what’s going on. Fourth, he’s not your friend. You need to distance yourself, because he’s not respecting who you are. Shut it down since he can’t respect you. It’s not you. It’s his lack of accepting you for who you are. Odd observance, the panda vanished. Where’d it go? Fifth, I didn’t know there was a name for Demi. I was forty two before I realized that there’s nothing wrong with me. Unless I have a romantic connection, I have no desire for adult fun time. I do have bi tendencies and appreciate fine no matter the gender. I was raised very conservative. I’m married to a man and it works for me. It obviously doesn’t work for you. You need to be yourself. Try going into therapy and having a conversation to see what the options are. You grew up and things change over time.

[@belaszn3839]

One of my favorite episodes this one was super cute and fun

[@rebeccajacobs9233]

Compulsory heterosexuality is very real and affects many people in the LGBTQ+ community. It is not just appreciating someone’s appearance. I wish they would have listened more to what Deison was trying to say. ):

[@rosietellez9259]

Never been this early🤩 Love you Jerry, ! 😍

[@mollylala7719]

Omg I love Deison 🥹❤️🤗

[@megan9377]

i can’t believe i’m up this early and thought to check the podcast and there’s actually an upload 😭🫶🏽🫶🏽

[@orcaletta]

deison is my favorite

[@mx5905]

This collab is such a fucking slay omg

[@VeeJayASMR]

I just remembered my toxic ex was angry the word "queer" exists, because it means "not straight" and he interpret that as people saying being straight is bad, like something you don't want to be associated with, and he felt attacked. 😶

[@camilledube9058]

To the writer who doesn't know if their bio family is accepting; try watching a movie with them! I'd recommand a movie that is not just about being queer, which might make it too obvious if you want to stay low, but which does feature queer people. Then you get to see how they react without it being too obvious that you're seeking that info!

[@florenceroses]

A friend was with her ex husband for over 10 years and she discovered that he had cheated on her with a man while she was away for the weekend. It turned out that he had basically cheated on her for their whole relationship. She was willing to try an open relationship when she found out and thought it was just a once off event, but it didnt work out when she found out about the extent of the infidelity. She would have even stayed friends with him if it wasn't for all the lying and denial of the lies. She is now with a man who is her person. They just got engaged and I am so so happy for her! To the person who is married to a man but a lesbian - It would be so much less hurt just to end the relationship in my opinion. You need to be true to yourself, because at the end of the day it will cause more pain staying true to yourself.

[@Clownbunnycosplay]

It’s giving dad, supervisors the sleepover, vibes

[@elevatorfloor]

loved this ep

[@fetabeta12]

For the first story, ild talk to the dad and bring him into the conversation. Even use him to convey your thoughts to the mom since a direct confrontation can result in a major blowout and reinforce the negative thoughts. Since the mother isn't saying these things to her face she has to really trust her sister for accurate info and the mother may also gaslight and backtrack if it's just a 1 on 1

[@Monksinbunks]

For the story about the lesbian whose male friend has a crush on her, I think Deison’s first instinct is right. That friendship is unbalanced and should end. The guy knows his friend is GAY and is still pursuing her, she’s expressed that she values their friendship but is. not. interested. In his mind, he’s clinging to a fantasy- even though it seems like he knows it’s just that, a fantasy. You have to wonder, if down the line OP gets a girlfriend, her “friend” is going to become jealous and bitter and end the relationship regardless? There’s no positive way forward for their friendship if one of them has an unrequited crush on the other. I hope Jerry is right and time will heal all wounds, but space should be taken either way.

[@ketherlaszlo1818]

Morgan wheres your hoodie from its ADORABLE😍

[@clarissathompson0103]

Woo!! ❤🎉

[@NilokAwesome]

With the woman who realised she was a lesbian after being in a long-term hetero relationship. I'm someone who literally lived through that exact scenario except as the husband. Polyamory does not solve the issue. My ex realised she was a lesbian AND poly nearly a decade into our relationship and started dating someone else who is a woman(who's maybe bi?) and also poly not long after we broke up. Maybe if I was desperate they might have let me into the relationship somehow (kind of gross speculation) but breaking it off was how we went about it because I prioritised her happiness but also staying would have been painful. I was devastated because I'd built this life plan which I'd put so much effort into and thought I had this wonderful person to share it with only for it to come crumbling down and it feels like I'm back at square one. But here's the important thing, my feelings aren't her responsibility! We are still great friends, Best friends even! Our relationship with each other had to change significantly, however. The husband is the one who will have to let go, he is trying to drag her down with the sinking ship and making everyone miserable. If he truly loved her he will have to put his big boy pants on and realise you can't make someone like you back the same way. But one main big difference however is that I am a trans man so when I brought up her leaving me and why to people who know (which isn't many since I medically transitioned early in my relationship when my ex thought she was bi) I got the very insensitive lack of pity that was "Well if she's a lesbian why not go back to being a woman? Problem solved!" FYI, even if it was that easy and the ship hadn't long since sailed, I'd just be in the same boat as the original woman where no one is really happy.

[@amandascherr3473]

I love how Deison had Jerry majorly in his silly goofy mood by the end of the podcast lol

[@bipolarrrbear8797]

I want to listen so desperately it I can’t get over Deison going “mhmmm” “mmmmmm” and “yeah” all the damn time 😢whyyyyy

[@danijadedd]

OMG how cool would it be to have Dad, How Do I? on this podcast?

[@lilianaledesma7254]

Hey all. I just wanted to chime in with a rhetorical question. My question is this: whoes idea was it to have your guest on talking about this topic? I ask because if she was not the one who initiated the idea to give advice on LGBTQA + write ins from her perspective as someone who identifies with the community ( which from the intro of the video it doesn't seem like she was the one to come up with the topic ) or enthusiastically agreed to playing the biggest role in this conversation on the episode, I could see how this conversation could maybe be hurtful or uncomfortable for her, almost like she is being tokenized in the conversation so the podcast can talk outside the perimeters of topics it normally does. I'm a bi-racial woman who has been in similar situations as this where I've been asked to be part of a conversation with all white people about the bi-racial experience and to give advice about how to navigate being bi-racial or to give insight on how white people can learn to interact with none white people in a harmonious, respectful, and humain way. In my experience , for me personally , it felt like people were inviting me into conversations they wanted to have but felt like they couldn't without a person who fits in the box of the topic they were discussing, like my presence was permission for them to talk about race, while unconciously not considering my feelings or if I felt comfortable being part of the conversation. All that being said, I think in my instances ( and if this does pretain to you your instance) everyone had good intentions it just got complicated. I just was listening here and wondering if maybe your guest might have felt the same way ( as me and your lovely guest in different ways are both seen socially as "minorities") even if she didn't voice it. There is also a likely chance she felt fine. We as viewers don't know the context and nuances of every conversation had to make this video happen . I just wanted to leave some food for though. I speak with nothing but love and grace. I appreciate this podcast and it's willingness to have hard conversations and give vulnerable advice or hot takes. I have alot of trouble sleeping and enjoy drifting off with you all over here and at Two Hot Takes. Thank you all for the hard work you put into each video. It does not go unnoticed.

[@rxxrcousin]

I’m curious about the answer to this too, all love ❤

[@deisonafualo]

Hi! It’s meeee, Deison lol One thing I will say about Morgan & Justin and alllll of the Two Hot Takes team is that they’ve always gone above and beyond to be kind and supportive to me. Morgan specifically asked me before I came over to film if I was comfortable doing an LGBT+ themed FKS and I said yes! I really appreciated her asking beforehand and that she was doing this episode with someone of the community giving advice! Nothings worse than someone giving advice to a person they have no similar life experiences as lol

[@lilianaledesma7254]

@@deisonafualo Hey Deison! Thanks for the insight on the behind the scenes of this episoide. I'm glad the topic was something you were not only willing to but enthusiastic to speak on. We as viewers were excited to see you back with Morgan and the crew! I totally agree nothing worse than people giving advice about topics that they don't have first hand experience with. I think Morgan, Justin and everyone else involved with both shows do a good job of finding alot of perspectives outside their own to weight in on the variety of topics they speak on, which is one of many reasons I enjoy both podcasts. Everyone involved with Two Hot Takes and Father Knows Something seem very caring and loving . It is evident that their goal is to create a fun safe place for both the people asking for advice and for the people on the podcasts ( whether it be guests or themselves) who share their nuggets of wisdom for each advice seeker. Thanks to you Deison, Morgan, and Jerry for spending some time with us your viewers this week. We see and appreciate you all and the hard work you put into what you do.

[@xbihamar]

This was great

[@infinity9069]

Hi Jerry. I came over from Two Hot Takes, but I wanted to ask you for some advice, and I saw you doing a LGBTQ episode, and I figured it would be a nice place to ask. So, in February 2022, I came out as transgender (male to female, for clarification), and I came out to my mother and father separately. As a brief insight, my relationship with my parents is not great, due to abuse, but I still felt that I should give them the respect of knowing that their son wanted to become their daughter. My father was pretty nonchalant about it, said it didn't bother him, and moved on. However, when I came out to my mom, she instantly hung up the phone (I did it over the phone- bad idea, I know- but I was at a residential trade school and didn't have the opportunity to do this in person.) We then didn't talk for like three months, and every time she always pushed on me that my trans identity was false, a phase, etc. pretty much tearing me down for it. She even said, and I quote, "I will beat the trans out of you, and if that doesn't work, I will just kill you." We've talked since, but it so awkward now and I really don't feel comfortable talking to her. What is your advice?

[@infinity9069]

I didn't have the space to write this in the first comment, so let me add this here. I identity as a trans woman; however, I don't actively act super feminine. My mother, and honestly, my grandpa and step- grandma, whom I currently live with, say that because I don't act feminine, I'm not trans. I had seen a text conversation between my mom and grandpa where they had texted a screenshot of a text conversation where I had dressed in feminine clothing and they had called it "disgusting" and "unholy". All of this weighs really heavy on me- I don't even go by my chosen name (which I will leave out for anonymity's sake)- and I really just don't know what to do. Honestly, my ideal outcome is to know how to truly cut out my mother, and how to deal with the guilt as a result of this. I would really like your insight Jerry, and thank you so much.

[@bellabeauty1006]

Loveeee Deison ❤

[@laetitiaclairefrancois7391]

The way Morgan roasts her dad ❤😂

[@FatherKnowsSomething]

All love ❤️ just having a good time

[@ajadegirl]

@@FatherKnowsSomething really sounds like ure dismissing- whether its "all love" or not "all love" why do u have to - Don't give him a hard time. U wouldnt like it either if it was you. These are difficult conversation, don't take the focus away from that.

[@Debble]

Jerry secretly binge watches the Netflix show you me her and is obsessed

[@laetitiaclairefrancois7391]

Deison!!! 🥳💪🏾

[@Goblue373]

What sweatshirt is Morgan wearing ? I can’t remember the brand name but it looks so comfy !

[@FatherKnowsSomething]

Mayfair club :) I love it

[@trinitybernhardt9944]

I really appreciate the support in this podcast. I did feel uncomfortable with a few takes in it though. I feel like it ultimately came down to a bit of caretaking men's feelings regardless of what the woman wants. The lesbian who was hurting in her marriage, my heart breaks for both partner's pain, but she is the only one who seems to care. The advice that she should bend over backwards and try polyamory to try and just guard his emotions. Others who understand polyamory better have have explained the harmful side there, but if one partner is out the other doesn't get to manipulate them to stay in. He may not intend to do it, but she is scared for him. Then in the friend one... you should not have to prove your gayness to draw a boundary! This idea that she hasn't done enough to prove her sexuality because he hasn't seen her "be gay" is scary. She doesn't owe him giving him one more chance. He is acting predatory. Gay, straight, ace if your friend is not interested that is the boundary. You should not have to clarify multiple times. You absolutely should not need to have a partner in the picture to act as a shield.

[@samanthapadgett2594]

Fellow boy obsessed turned queer woman here lol I can relate to the story about the mom. I came out as bisexual in high school and my mom said it was just a faze and that hurt me so much so I totally understand where that girl is coming from. I ended up marrying a man and cut my mom off for other reasons so who knows what would have been but what I can say is this don’t let ANYONE make you feel less then and that includes your mom. I know it seems harsh but if she can’t love you and respect you regardless of who you are with than you need so separate from her at least to a degree once you move out.

[@alaina4070]

For story 23:30. Ask about the community and their feelings on them first!! I lived in Texan all my life and still haven't come out yet. It can be very dangerous to come out here. On the extreme side they might even try to push your adoptive parents to send you to a conversion therapy camp. Or they might assault you and/or cut you off completely. On the less extreme side but still awful. They start using the bible against you, call you an abomination who is dame and of the devil, they will attack your beliefs, and try to "save you from sin".

[@caseyd3664]

“I like what I like” ✌️😘 I like the person, not the parts

[@vianeyboruel504]

Was that a bring it on reference?

[@courtneyklute9918]

Im currently watching I am currently listening to all the FKS episode in order, but when I saw that Deison was on this episode, I had to watch it right away! LOVE her & am a huge fan of Two Idiot Girls 🫶

[@acyasin1000]

Bisexuals like myself experience bisexual attraction- hetero, to genders unlike my own, and homo, to genders like my own. It covers the spectrum of gender, without being either/or. I am a nonbinary AFAB person, who is constantly dealing with pushback on, "Oh, you're actually attracted to men? But surely you can't be into women, then-" Yep. I'm not going to pick a side when it's a whole ass spectrum that isn't defined by the random genitals of my partner. I think a lot of society pushes you MUST be gay/lesbian or strictly heterosexual, and life isn't that simple. Sexuality isn't necessarily set in stone, and people are dead set on absolutes based on arbitrary rules set by someone long since gone. 🤷‍♀💓💙💜

[@rxxrcousin]

💜💙💜💙

[@user-ok4xb1rd9f]

About the woman who doesn't know if she wants to leave her husband. I think in long term perspective it's better to break up. It doesn't seem like she is attracted to her husband, but doesn't want to break up with him, because she feels guilty (Also a lot of women don't realize they're lesbians until they get married because society tells them that s€x is not enjoyable for women, so they don't think their lack of attraction is not normal..). Of course divorce is going to be hard. But they both deserve to find someone who will love them.

[@lyssa7050]

I am a lesbian woman, but I still feel attraction to guys sometimes. It’s more so - do I see myself in a fulfilling relationship with a man? I think sometimes it’s more the idea of them, or celebrities but not in my day to day life

[@vanessasampayan4587]

It’s tony pizza!! 😂😂

[@lucielogel3222]

A message to my gay girlies in a heterosexual marriage : leave, be who you are, be happy it might hurt to leave and to hurt the other person but in a few months / years from now you will both be so so much happier. Not allowing yourself to live your life the way you are will make you so unhappy and so depressed. I promise you that you are NOT STUCK be FREE. It’s hard to hear but your marriage is over and nothing can repair it in this situation. I don’t believe that opening your marriage and date women on the side will work in this situation, you just can’t be who you are in this relationship, you are not with the person you’re meant to be with. As women we’re never taught that but you NEED to start living for yourself and not for others.

[@alanamacneill88]

Deison!!!

[@C0C0N0T]

I think its important when you come out that you let the idea settle in the other person. Theres a lot of thoughts and feelings that now stands in question for parents, which they need time to come around to--as long as theyre as respectful and kind in return; coming out is like exposing an open wound to SO many people. The mother in the first story had more than enough time to come to terms with the fact that their child wasn't heterosexual. They could have used that time to look up things, reach out to groups that exists for this very purpose, talked about it with trusted FRIENDS and not family members (people that has easy access to the kid coming out)... If the mother struggled with the kid's sexuality, that is something the kid should have never have had to learn. At the very least not when its still such an open wound. By talking about her opinions with the sister, the mother failed as a parent to both her daughters. Shame on her.

[@myriamtouil3347]

Deison ❤❤❤😊

[@kitteegrande5998]

with the story about the guy who is waiting for his friend to not be gay anymore i understand why jerry said if she loved his soul my grandma who is now passed married my other grandma but to the day of her death said she was never a lesbian but she fell in love with my grandma 😢

[@lizzortiz8086]

I’d love to connect with the person in a hetero marriage who is your best friend… I’m in a very similar relationship now