Connecting the Manosphere

[@FDSignifire]

No I'm not debating your favorite black manosphere figure with 3000 subs and a bunch of videos about "gynarchy" stop asking.

[@FDSignifire]

@@INTELECT112 it's gonna be so hard not to just clown yall when I get around to making this video... Pray patience and empathy on me.

[@firestone2178]

If F&F offered would you debate them?

[@FDSignifire]

@@INTELECT112 no I wouldn't lol. That's the difference between me and yall/them yall truly care what I think, I don't care about what they think. I could have made a fresh and fit video years ago for easy views. Instead I been doing me. Yall should follow suit.

[@gape9068]

yeah I wouldn't waste my time "debating" with most of these people good decision

[@vanessasempireoftwigs198]

IMO debate vids are for a wider click pool, and self agrandizement for anyone engaging. the debates themselves are boring af no substance

[@edwinam536]

I really want to take some time to thank you. I'm a 25 yo Mexican man. I think Black culture and Mexican culture have a lot of similarities. Especially in the toxic masculinity aspect. I have always struggled with my masculinity because I'm a 6"2' brown man and as such some things are expected from me by society. Since I was a child I have always been very sensitive and emotional. In my culture that's not acceptable. A man with my appearance can't show emotion, they tried to beat it out of me, so it was really difficult for me being the way I am. Thinking I was wrong for being like this, thinking I was a failure because my father rejected who I am. I'm not here to vent, I'm here to properly thank you for your content because since I discovered it I have learned a lot from your culture, your struggles and the way black men handles them. I have come to learn a lot of things about myself because I can relate to many things. But the most important thing is that I don't feel alone anymore in this quest of bettering myself and finding more responsible ways to cope with what I have lived. I want to be a better man and a better human being. Your content has given me so much man that I can't put it to words. You reach people and places you don't even imagine. Thank you so much.

[@dangerousdays2052]

Make your dad pay for rejecting you.

[@quantumphysicsofficial]

Skill issue

[@yourdedcat-qr7ln]

Every man has to be strong tho

[@grassgeese3916]

That was a beautiful letter, wow.. It is good to hear that your folks failed to beat your emotions out of you. Not good that they beat you..... But you are strong for surviving and for seeking a better way.... Take care

[@blackberry4life482]

Good for you sir. Be blessed.🙏🏿

[@noahsamsen]

Unc, I remember you mentioned being worried that this manosphere series might be getting bloated & I just wanna say, this felt perfect. Genuinely. I know they're already coming for you in the comments and as annoying as that probably is, it's a good sign - It means the right people are being reached. And with the empathy you have showed & continue to show them, many will respond well to your message. I also really liked the call to action for the left & Shark's comparison between anti misogynist & anti-racist rhetoric. It feels like a challenge to us male & masc creators, and we all need that if we want to work towards actually addressing this problem, because ultimately, it's on us to solve. #HealthyBoyzOnly #HBOMax

[@smallguy2]

If only people knew how to turn on normal brain mode. 😪

[@moneymanjoe9639]

One day I aspire to have such a manly mustache

[@brewskimckilgore6796]

HEALTHY BOYZ RIZE

[@lifeunderthestarstv]

Bloated?? I literally don't see anyone else tackling this as a combined issue. Typically everyone deals with these idiots individually

[@picahudsoniaunflocked5426]

HealthyBoi Energy Noah🦦

[@lizzybeary]

Im a black female who did not grow up with ANY men and never really spent any time with men as I became an adult, let alone discuss important male centered topics. I really appreciate your videos. You allow me to see not only a male perspective, but a black male perspective which for me, is invaluable. You speak from a compassionate, fair, well rounded, and understanding position to deliver engaging, thoughtful and thought provoking content that I find highly valuable.

[@winterzealot]

Yes! Totally agree! There's so much I don't know about the male experience, and I'm grateful I get to learn from someone as eloquent and empathetic as F.D.

[@IFeatherStone]

2 words; confirmation and bias. Try listening to someone who doesn't share your same opinions an logically sift through them.

[@MrRagnarxx]

@@IFeatherStone enlighten me with examples of such

[@xotwistedt8812]

⁠​⁠@@IFeatherStonemost of us can handle opposing views. The issue is when misogyny, racism, homophobia & colorism are the undertones of their message. I don’t need to sit & listen to someone rant about how ugly, masculine, undeserving of love & respect they feel black women are just for the sake of “hearing both sides of the story”. Why subject myself to that type of hate & disrespect just to please some stranger online? Most of the time it’s obvious when someone has problematic & warped views especially about a demographic u belong to. U may not see it that way because u aren’t the one having false narratives painted about u that u can’t even have a discussion about without being gaslit & told “ u are just bitter & can’t handle the truth” whole time they are just making up negative shit & running with it because of their preconceived notions & opinions of women. Maybe some of your views align with theirs & that’s why u feel we should give channels that get rich & famous off disrespecting women a chance & hear them out but realistically we aren’t goin to do that. There’s a reason I support channels like this… im all for hearing different perspectives & opposing views but I want the perspective of someone that addresses these issues honestly without constantly disrespecting women to get their point across or casually sprinkling bits of misogyny into their message while trying to pass it off as life advice for males. It’s silly to support a channel that doesn’t even respect u & it’s unfair of u to assume we havnt heard different points of view simply because of what we believe in & agree to.

[@cillavision]

"It's not hard to shit on chuds... or call out assholes doing asshole things... what we don't have is analysis... and useful engagement." "There's been very little intentional guidance." Never stop making these videos, collaborating with the people disrupting this space, keeping conversations going and calling out unhelpful behavior. The comparison to being not racist VS being anti-racist was a clear analogy.

[@JoshuaAlbury]

This!

[@MK_ULTRA420]

""It's not hard to shit on chuds... or call out assholes doing asshole things... what we don't have is analysis... and useful engagement." "There's been very little intentional guidance."" lmao it's hilarious seeing him use the same mentality that's he's making fun of.

[@quantumphysicsofficial]

Skill issue

[@lentlemenproductions770]

@@MK_ULTRA420 nope :) also great name :)

[@MK_ULTRA420]

@@lentlemenproductions770 Aww, if you can't see it then you deserve to be lied to :)

[@phononanon]

I was fascinated reading your interpretation of Attack on Titan. I had no idea that there were fans who supported Eren's decision. I watched the anime with my wife and sister, and all three of us were utterly horrified, and found ourselves looking back at all the warning signs, all the red flags, and found that the earlier episodes felt completely different when we looked at them in that light. In fact the entire story for us seemed to be an exploration of the inevitability of genocide as a response to previous genocides. Oppression as a response to previous oppression. Eren had so many chances to walk away from all of the violence and just be with his friends, but was so devoted to his path of destroying all his enemies that even when the enemies changed from Titans to humans, he continued to pursue the very same goal he spoke of in the very first episode. I honestly don't see Eren as an aspirational figure whatsoever, and his arc feels more like a cautionary tale against bitterness in response to trauma. If anything, he exposes the monster beneath every person that seeks to take revenge against the society that harms them.

[@fideletamo4292]

Eren is what itachi knew Sasuke would turn into and tried to warn Naruto naive ass about lol...eren, Sasuke, pein, Gaara, ozymandias, thanos, Daenerys, light yagami are all entitled people with God complex and you will Always find people who Root for them..the World is a crazy place...

[@returnalnocturnal7729]

@@fideletamo4292 all this just hits FD's points about the anime world's favorite school shooter Eren

[@0715yt]

@@returnalnocturnal7729 your pfp is really pretty

[@Leah-xz8zv]

Its very interesting and concerning how a lot of aot fans think eren deciding to commit mass genocide on people no matter if they were innocent or not was the best and only solution to fighting against oppression and complex geopolitics. Eren is a very complex character and i love his ark but i wish ppl acknowledged what you said. He's only fueled by anger and grief he doesn't care about actually making the world better.

[@nelsonstewart5999]

The entire story supports his decision lmao. The entire point he did the Rumbling was so his friends could live long lives and he succeeds completely. He dies a painless death with a kiss and a caress from his lover after spending his last years in a paradise with her in PATHs. His friends cry for him and thank him, and everything goes his way. Just because he gets a quick painless death, people think (Oh, he paid for his crimes!!!!) But Ramzi, meanwhile, gets the worst most horrific villain's death and no justice comes of it. None at all. A heroic death, a heroic epilogue, for essentially his world's version of Hitler.

[@ForeignManinaForeignLand]

Watched it on Nebula (& you should to!) & I don't wanna spoil too much but I never realized how insidiously benign the manosphere seemed until BOOM - you in some dim lighting with a microphone spitting Misogynoir

[@AM-rp8xn]

Ohh here I've been milling around on KZbin to watch when I've got nebula lol thanks! Big fan of your content on there as well

[@soulcage6228]

What is "mysogynoir"?

[@mintyfreshdyke7635]

@@soulcage6228 racism towards black women and feminine people

[@VinceWhitacre]

I need to watch more Nebula... but I think it's also important to support people here on YT where marginalized creators are getting further marginalized, age restricted, etc. I guess what I need to do is watch for real on Nebula, then like/comment and just leave the vid playing on YT while doing something else. 😉

[@annward7794]

I need to budget to poi ppppcheck out this Nebula platform. I’ve seen you Foreign, Jessie Gender and FD are all on board and I’d rly love to support y’all - it seems- more directly where you’ll have more creative freedom. And if y’all 3 are the ones heading the way I’m confident in the quality of artists tha will follow. 💐 I’m excited to see the critiques of series by creators. That’s

[@juhel5531]

Guts' from Berserk is a GREAT example of a story destroying hegemonic masculinity. From conquerors to just near physical gods like Guts the protagonist, the masculine urge to just destroy everything that isn't you while subsuming everything else will NEVER fill the void of insecurity and lack of love. The entire story of Berserk is a love letter to letting go of bitterness and embracing the things that matter most. When someone burns your house down, you rebuild and help your loved ones. You then build better systems to prevent it from happening again. You do not go abandon your loved ones, let hate consume you and go out on a quest to destroy the people that burnt your house down. This is the gist of Berserk's story and morale.

[@lucasrinaldi9909]

This is rather a caricature of masculinity.

[@nicholasleclerc1583]

@@lucasrinaldi9909 Yeah, and he DOESN’T believe in it because, not only is _that_ an abridged version; but that, in any case, is smth said by patriarchal powers that he *HATES*

[@nicholasleclerc1583]

This reminds me of Eren Yeager, from _Attack on Titan,_ and the “weakness” or “impossibility” or the “chances” of diplomacy; scapegoating Armin for not doing enough, or just thinking that regardless he’d be unsuccessful; all these generally similar ideas are/seem seen as interchangeable & confused by the “Yeagerist” & “pro-Yeagerist, i.e. Yeagerist-compliant/apologists” part of the fandom; so there’s no way to get any satisfaction arguing with them, because you’d need another _Attack on Titan-_ like story to make them grasp that like how WE we ARE able to be blown away with the presentation of such ideas we already were knowledgeable of in some respect as a society We all need the face(s) of Peace (& War), and Softness (& Violence), and Kindness (& Brutality), and Change (& Stagnation), and Revolution (& Complacency/Loyalty/Devotion), and Accusation (& Apologeticism), and independance (& Stockholm’s Syndrome/Sunk Cost Fallacy, if not outright promulgation), and freedom (& Power/Emprisonment/Control), and Social Justice (& Enslavement/Inferiorisation/Disenfranchisement), and Validation (& Delegitimization), and Restorational (& Punitive) Justice, and Deontology (& Pragmatics), and Reason (& Absurdity), and FORESIGHT (& short-sightedness), and Self-service (& Altruism), and Realism (& Delusion), and Acceptance (& Denial), and Tolerance (& bigotry), and Pride (& Shame/Guilt), and Rights (& Duties), and Abuse (& Victimhood), Teleology (& Meaningless), and Causality (& Futility), Importance (& Uselessness) and Empathy (& Antipathy), and Humility (& Arrogance), and, finally, *LOVE* (& Hatred) [Edit :] …ALL these things must have their face *changed*

[@KingOfBboys]

I think Thorfinn from Vinland Saga is the best positive take on masculinity that's come out of seinen.

[@hyuugafan2]

There is a time to build and a time to destroy……if someone burns your house down, and all you do is rebuild and set ways to prevent …they will come back to burn it again…at some pour you mill have to face them and be violent …idk why ppl think the word is some utopia

[@DivineLightPaladin]

DUDE YES! THANK YOU for this, I got sucked into the manosphere myself trying to impress my dad who hated women, especially his wife, my Mother. Notice how I give him the respect he earned in giving me the first example for how men should treat women, and their wife especially? My first message in life from my own dad was, "women are horrible, don't be one or dad(men) won't like you". He was a big rush limbaugh fan starting when I was about 10 and ever since he started listening, his violence toward my mom only increased to the point where she tried to file for divorce and escape, only to be told she's insane and a "bad woman" by her doctors and my dad's conservative cult family (literally pro white nazi). She ended up coming back on heavy meds only to be beaten, abused and blamed more. Long story short, died in my dad's "care" from morbid obesity and cancer "just to finally get away from him". F this toxic psycho nonsense.

[@MeMarcusTheCreator]

What happened to your dad? Did he ever get better?

[@DivineLightPaladin]

@@MeMarcusTheCreator No, he passed away of a heart attack shortly after my mom passed. I wish I had been able to talk to him, get closure or reconcile but it never happened.

[@chrisbardolph]

Way too many stories of people tuning into right wing media that claims to “tell it like it is” but is just a resentment factory, and then they noticeably change for the worse.

[@faysmith7248]

@@MeMarcusTheCreator Nope he got karma

[@pgyws5137]

@@faysmith7248 pathetically enough he probably suffered from his victims passing because he relied on her presence as a security blanket. When she died he had no one to project onto (ie abuse) and his main source of comfort was gone. He also probably knew deep down that her death was due to his abuse at least partially. This caused him health complications followed by death. Its sad the way so many men will blame everything wrong with the world on the people they need the most- their wives and mothers. This is just fucking tragic on so many levels.

[@alecfairfield2745]

This is the best video you’ve ever made FD. As a “femme” gay man it’s so confusing to navigate through the world trying to figure out how my expression of masculinity fits. Even though I have long hair, wear makeup, hang out with the girls, and dress in a non-traditional way, I know I’m a man and I identify 100% with masculinity. One of my good friends always jokingly refers to me as “sis” or “she” and it always bothers me so much, because I’m not she!! I’m he!! I’m me! And while it is annoying, I understand where she’s coming from because the only representation of masculinity that’s she’s familiar with is the hedgemonic masculinity that you referenced in this video. So to her, and the majority of people I interact with daily, if I’m not that, I must be “one of the girls”. But I’m not one of the girls. I’m a man and I wholeheartedly embrace my masculinity, even if my expression of it does not fit with the prototype we are provided with. I think your content is so important because you so unashamedly embrace masculinity and articulate the thoughts that so many of us have in a way we never could.

[@happygucci5094]

This comment is beautifully articulated- thank you so much for sharing.

[@itsdonuttime7729]

It's unfortunate that your friend is misgendering you. I know you don't need some internet rando's validation but truly: you do you. You are a manly man.

[@neegas3490]

This is a amazing comment

[@CanelaAguila]

Tell her you don't want her to do that! It's important to make your boundaries clear with your friends, and I'm sure she'll understand if she's a good friend. You could sit down for a good talk about the topic like you shared here or it could be a lightheaded but firm correction, whatever you want :)

[@turdferguson3400]

I'm very confused by your existence. What exactly about you exudes masculinity exactly? I know people here are going to dogpile me for saying this but what makes you a man? In terms of your appearance and in terms of your behavior, specifically what sets you apart from women?

[@erik13081]

Been thinking about this for a few years, as a large guy born into a Hispanic household. I was often made fun of by the family for bring more sensative and not presenting enough "masculinity" and it really hurts to see how much it has affected not just me but many of my friends ability to grow as ppl.

[@monus782]

I was born into a conservative Mexican Catholic family and in my college years I went borderline fascist in part because I was hanging out with Catholics who wanted to take us back to the Middle Ages so I was very much trying to follow and enforce those "traditional" gender roles, I've seen firsthand how brutal machismo can get and the hometown I lived in before moving to the US had worldwide infamy for all the cases of murdered women before becoming the murder capital of the world for several years. Because of the deep loyalty towards the Church my parents instilled on me I was pretty much hostile towards the feminist movement (mostly because of abortion) while also being homophobic until my faith in that institution collapsed over two years ago, my father seems to have some far right connections back home and I really don't think he's a fan of both of these causes on either side of the border (and no way I'm telling him I've left the Church). I'm sorry you had to go through that and I hope you're doing better.

[@JoseSanyet]

Exactly the same. Puerto Rican, now add on autism and adhd into that mix

[@erik13081]

@@monus782 thanks for sharing, I am and I'm trying to get my homies to a better place too

[@joan6096]

Born in the Midwest grew up in the Northeast I’ve seen so many people just get stuck in a pattern of behavior that wears them out and their environments sometimes perpetuate these behaviors that isolate people further. Makes me sad because someone got to their insecurities and made them doubt their own self worth, dreams, and looks. That’s what those con artists prey on, ppl who have previously fallen to the notion still point others in their direction despite their current dissatisfaction and burn out. There’s also women who send girls towards “marry rich” stay home raise the children cook and clean. Never fun for anyone. I don’t like to take advice form elders whom are unhappy or are confused as to why others are unhappy. I mean if half their asides are dumping on some group of people I hear them but I don’t buy stock in their nonsense. Hope you’re doing well stay you and be well my friend! I always try to help out who I can sometimes you just have to wait for people to come to you for help, leave your door open to them they’ll take help when and if they’re ready hopefully that time comes before the hard knocks come. You never know though I’ve heard a lot of nonsense and my bs meter is really good I think but I’m aware I don’t have insights into everything, but my gut knows better than me. The rest that I don’t know I listen and sort from there. Be safe out there!

[@kenamada5451]

Oh my god, Hispanic people are this entire video cranked to 20x, but veiled behind family values. If you're gay, they value the family, so they tolerate you. With all of the judgement of the world on your back. (Or outright disown you to preserve the family) no inbetween unless your family is against the grain.

[@vebdaklu]

The argument from JP that "the western civilazation is the best because people are moving here" is akin to "I am a better human because all those people whos money I stole and houses I burned are moving out from their burned houses and coming to my area seeking money. It must be that my founding principles are valid!"

[@Finnatese]

Great comment, when people in Europe talk about Africans and middle eastern people migrating to Europe rather than “staying in Their own countries” I always think “they are following the money and opportunities”, money and opportunities were taken from their country by the west, so if they want a good life they need to go to the west. I just don’t think you can blame people for wanting to move to the west, but it also doesn’t mean the west is superior

[@NoTengoIdeaGuey]

​@@Finnatese if anything it makes the West worse.

[@XxXuzurpatorXxX]

He's not wrong. The flip side of this is "we would not have all these undesirables knocking on our borders if our ancestors were not pillaging their lands a few hundred years ago". In the end civilizations are graded on their efficiency on securing resources, not ethics.

[@XxXuzurpatorXxX]

@@Happily_Angry_Lawyer Kardashev scale seems to be a good approximation and what follows - energy consumption per capita or its abstraction - GDP per capita. I guess that migrant feet per hour headed towards a country is a great indication of what is the vote for Civilisation Grade.

[@CasualCosta]

I'm Brazilian and we had a massive Japanese diaspora post WW II. I didn't know Brazilian civilization was better than the Japanese one, but the more you know...

[@JessieGender1]

Said it before, but as someone literally injecting estrogen, I support the testeroine injection that is The Northman. Great movie, as is this video! Thank you FD for constantly being amazing.

[@xx2262]

Been sending lots of good vibes and warmth your way. Hope recovery is going excellently. Peace and light and thank you for all the work 🙏🏼🫶🏼

[@joshknightfall]

The Northman works as a cautionary tale of how mythology informs culture and offers its cultists a blank check to do horrible things like slashing horses apart for good luck.

[@returnalnocturnal7729]

@@joshknightfall also that shrooms are the best hype up for killing villagers

[@TheLyricalCleric]

Viking Hamlet. The main character is literally named Amleth.

[@marocat4749]

@@TheLyricalCleric And hamlet is not a hero tale, its a tragedy.

[@QuinnsIdeas]

Thanks again! You are doing great work!

[@Jake_the_Bioengineer]

I'm curious if you think there's a deconstruction of masculinity going on in Dune. Paul had that whole arc about becoming the synthesis of male and female. (Maybe it was just his own justification for drinking the Water of Life.) I mean, seeing women as the clearer minded sex, and Paul needs to learn to control his big masculine brain in order to acheive true prescience is a kind of elementary understanding of gender. But at least on the masculine side, there seems to be this reflection of what it means to be a man (synonymous with leader in the books) and its futility.

[@Nsuage]

OMG I love it when a creator I really dig shows up in another awesome creators comments! love F.D. and love your videos @Quinns Ideas! Keep doing it y'all

[@zacharyrogers5537]

Yo Quinn!! Love your vids, would love to see a collab dissecting the racial-political background of lovecraft and how this is reconciled as a PoC enjoyer of his work.

[@icarusearthbound]

Yo Quinn’s Ideas!

[@kezzie1834]

Oh my God, I was just watching your videos on Dune. SO FREAKIN GOOD

[@hecateinanna3925]

As a woman who served in the army, it's laughable when I hear men who's only concept of what the military is like is from movies say that women have it soooo easy in the military. Being a woman in the military is a gd nightmare. I had to do less push-ups to pass the pt test, but that is faaaaar from the only thing that matters or that is experienced in the military.

[@skyjuiceification]

U sh0uIdnt be there!

[@freakyzed8467]

Good on you! Did my time on tanks with the 1st Cav, so there weren't a lot of ladies around, but those that were had to be pretty hard nosed to shake off all the attitude they got flicked.

[@stephanie8560]

I don't know where the idea that the only way women could make it in the military was to significantly lower the standards came from. To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if the standards were set specifically to exclude women in some cases. Also, he argument that men are more oppressed than women because of the draft makes no sense if you think about it for 2 seconds. First, no one has been drafted for 50 years. So for young men today: we're talking about potential oppression that could possibly happen to a segment of men in the future, not active systemic oppression that affects the day to day life of most or all men, as patriarchy affects women. Second, it was feminists that fought and won the right for women to serve in combat roles and other dangerous jobs, and feminists challenged the draft in front of the US Supreme Court on the basis of it being gender discrimination against men. Feminists want to make workplaces safer for all, end gender stereotypes surrounding certain jobs, and most want to end the draft, whereas anti-feminists seem to only be concerned with women suffering at least as much as men in these areas. Lastly, women were barred from combat roles and the draft was limited to men despite of feminism, not because of it. Feminism offers actual solutions to the complaints of the manosphere.

[@thepleblian2079]

@@stephanie8560 no, it doesn’t.

[@Bleilock1]

thats why i told to every women i met who wanted to enlist, that it will be hard... very hard, you wont get special treatment, rather you get worse one, especially if people start picking on you (i know it happens just not sure how common is it), and 3 of my childhood friends did join the army, two quit for the office, and third stuck, only part of the army she was banned from joining was special ops (thats what she told me), now she is in a artillery unit, mostly guard duties, she says its hard but its good pay and she enjoys it (she often jokes about free gym and workout along with any book she can ask for) but its always hard, its hard for men, im sure as hell it will be hard for women too, weapons and tools wont become magically lighter because its in female hands now, will it? i hope you find your peace and place as well and that you are doing well as well bless to you!

[@seachellez3501]

A year or 2 ago I met a guy online who was deep in this red pill/ Manosphere thing and it made me uncomfortable. The moment he brought up the red pill and how Andrew Tate was his “guy”, I kind of pulled back a bit but I was curious (thankfully so) and continued to talk to him. We didn’t have much in common except maybe anime but Along the line we got into how he ended up with those ideologies and the whole red pill things and he told me how he felt emasculated as a teen. He has a baby face and I guess was a late bloomer. He felt isolated and became a “Gabe” and “degen” (degenerate) as he called it. He was depressed and would stay in bed all day, watch anime or porn and just masturbate. Eventually like the others he came across Peterson and started working out religiously, got more into Christianity and had this whole thing of being more outspoken which was commendable but talking to these people, you can (dare I say) feel the off energy or vibe, like the one Peterson gives when he talks. His new found routine and all was nice and talking about how men were going through a lot but like others in this space he would end up on how western women are bad and the reason for the men’s suffering in a way. We don’t talk anymore but I did feel empathy for the fact he felt less of a man in regards hegemonic masculinity and social hierarchy but like F.D said, these men are the problem but often want to assimilate instead of deconstruct. I don’t blame him for how he he thinks but I know it isn’t healthy and eventually he’s going to run into problems. The last time we spoke I remember him telling me how he felt down because he was returning to his old ways of being in his shell and neglecting this routine he had for himself and not that those are bad but I feel like his reason behind these things might be misplaced. Idk I might be taking him out of context but watching this made me gain more empathy for this demographic (although meeting people with this ideology face to face it’s harder to hold fast to that empathy) and reevaluate the content I’ve been engaging with especially on tik tok. I think it was Khadijah Mbowe thst said it was time to move past the “men are trash” era of the 2010s and I agree. Although finding that balance of calling out this harmful behavior and being more understanding, accommodating and overall most of the emotional Labour already. So idk what that would look like. In conclusion the final thought part of this video is something people need to think about, I included. We’ve called out the bad parts what next? I can’t speak for the picking up girls or talking to girls part of the male experience or struggle in leftist spaces but I think creating a community is a place to start. Being around people who want to change and one could maybe even develop better deeper friendships. Idk this was an unorganized ramble of my final thoughts on the 2 parts but I have a lot to think about after this. Great video

[@winterzealot]

Thank you for typing all of this out. I appreciate hearing your story and I wholeheartedly agree with your thoughts! I look forward to more people thinking analytically and empathetically about men's experiences and struggles, because it will help everyone

[@Shammrye]

I have had a lot of negative men interactions. From sexual harassment as a preschooler. To being locked in a closet at my first job by a man 4 times my age for him to grope me, to a casual harassment but more men I can count, to the man who broke into my apartment at 2am to rape me. To the female friends I’ve had rapped and murdered by men. For the two times I was passed over from promotions and told it was because although I was better at the job they ‘needed a man’ in the role. I have fought so hard not to hate men but it’s genuinely really hard. And when roe was over turned I to my great shame went online for about a week and rampantly attacked men. All the fear and helplessness I’d felt towards men my whole life came pouring out of me. But your video have been helping me to come back from that. I want to practice radical empathy. It’s the best way to move forward for all of us. But fuck it’s hard. A huge part of me hates men to a degree I can’t even describe. Boy do I understand the spree shooters desire to just go out and murder a bunch of people because boy do I want to kill a lot of men sometimes. It’s so easy to see the monstrous behavior of so so so so so so many men. And the failings of even ‘good’ men who seem to be perfectly happy stepping over the bodies of dead women just so they don’t have to make any effort. And it hurts. And it hurts when you are told the solution is to to more labor for these people who everyday just want to hurt and abuse you. Which as a construct men do because that’s patriarchy. But again you are reminding me constantly that individual men just like individual white peoples can be reached. That so many man do support women and roe and their communities. That’s most of us are intact in this together. I’m not ok doing work for men. Fuck men. But I will for my husband, for my male students, for my male family members, for my male friends, for my neighbors, for the guy in the grocery store struggling with his kids while he shops, for the construction worker laying new infrastructure down the hill. I guess what I’m saying is let’s all try and do as much good as we can for those around us and slowly expand our communities to encompass as many as we can as we go along. Maybe I can’t fight for ‘MEN’ right now but I can fight for my men, and slowly I’d like to add to that. Maybe we can all slowly add to our groups.

[@aussieevonne7857]

Thanks for this. I really appreciate your saying this.

[@ricardocantoral7672]

Good men stepping over the bodies of dead women ? What the hell are you talking about ?

[@tamatebako_yt]

Hey, you need a hug or something?

[@Shammrye]

@@ricardocantoral7672 I was attempting to express good men practicing rape and abuse apologetics. It happens I see it, it’s culture, and a lot of them are horrified when it’s pointed out to them in a way they can understand stand. It’s just indoctrination that we are all steeped in. But it doesn’t make it any easier watching it.

[@Shammrye]

@@tamatebako_yt yeah honestly

[@tripotamus]

Love your stuff, as a white hetero male in his mid-30s I found myself really enjoying your deconstruction of the "manosphere" as you call it. (Never heard the term until this video!) Since childhood, I have experienced far too many white male role models telling me to "toughen up." After watching your content, I realize that the constant pressure in sports, school, and life to be a certain way is just ultimately a defense mechanism to resist change, or re-capture something perceived as lost. I remember being told to "toughen up" since I was 7. I was 6ft at the time (yes really), so the local football team that my step father made me join stuck me with the older kids, all well into middle school. He just saw a big male body to get hit, what he got was a kid who liked playing pretend with action figures and struggled with understanding the point of optional competition. I got brutally picked on by my older teammates but I kept at it. I ran the drills, went to every practice, busted my butt, yet could not understand why I needed to hit the guy in full armor in front of me. I wanted to quit, but the pressure I felt from my step-father AND father to keep going stopped me from saying how I really felt. You could see it their eyes, the pride they felt to have any attachment to a "strong young man who's so tough they put him with the big kids." I was reliving their lost glory days for them. Something they couldn't do, despite how much they wanted it. Long story short, its the night of my first game with the whole family watching. They are calling numbers and introducing each player. My number comes up "Number 73...", I walk through my teammates, and one of them trips me so I fall flat on my face in front of everyone. Stuck me on the bench the whole night. One of the most scarring & embarrasing moments of my life. I quit the next day and I could feel the disappointment in their voices. Took a lot of growing up and therapy to work through it. If you read this far thanks for taking the time to read my little memory! Also F.D., if you're the signifier, then are your awesome shirts the "signified?" 😉

[@MrEduardoCorsi]

It's true guys, I was calling out the numbers that day and that 6ft tall 7 year old kid really did trip

[@navontheissue9786]

@@MrEduardoCorsi why would he lie

[@kimeikoraevision5446]

Ll

[@ms.bunniesarecute2287]

Wow, i want to give little 6ft you a hug, lol 🥺. I'm a transwoman in my mid 30s and my husband is a tall man also, who was tall when he was young. He has some similar stories,, and so much pressure is put on yall at such a young age.. Your story made me tear up a little, because you can tell how much it affected you and stuck with you because the way you described it made me feel like I was really there. I was bullied alot by practically everyone growing up, including teachers so I never really had anyone expect much of anything from me. It was very lonely and scary, but I do have a lot of sympathy for men because I know what is expected of you and how it is basically treason if you turn out like me, or a gay guy. No child should have that kind of pressure imposed on them. I'm happy you went to therapy though! 😌

[@jamessamsom6780]

Toughen up.

[@ahem8013]

most other videos about this topic that don’t go in depth just leave me feeling uncomfortable and sad by the end. but the analysis you provide always leaves me feeling hopeful for the future. + nothing but love for the people sharing their experiences in the comments. you’re making some of the best commentary content on this website rn. liking and commenting to hopefully boost it in the algorithm

[@Music34897]

Man struggles with fitness test: that man shouldn't be in the army Woman struggles with fitness test: women shouldn't be in the army

[@SPACEDOUT19]

its like you are being dense on purpose

[@basicallymid]

Abba and Preach hurt my soul fr. I was looking specifically for black male content creators, and I thought they seemed kinda cool. But to your point, I felt like as a black woman I was part of their punching bag, and the 'I'm just being real' was code for 'yeah, women have a place and it's not on my level'. It was sickening because it was 'covert'.

[@calleocho2107]

With all due respect, I know you are overreacting or taking those punches way too personal when those punches are for everyone. I have seen them bash on white people, black people and other races as well. I feel like you are doing the same thing this gentleman (FD) is doing, which is cherry-picking certain statements and grifting through your beliefs.

[@Rotseer]

@@calleocho2107okay white boy

[@calleocho2107]

@@Rotseer typical response from a group of people in echo chambers

[@xotwistedt8812]

@@calleocho2107or she made a valid point & has every right not to support people who punch down on women for views & likes from the people they pander to.

[@calleocho2107]

@@xotwistedt8812 you do realize they make fun of everyone right? It seems as if you don’t even watch their content and just believe whatever this guy says, but to say you are not looking at it from a biased perspective is truly folly I don’t understand why people have problems with other people giving their full opinion that’s completely different from yours and condemning them for it. I don’t agree with whatever you guys say and what this echo chamber channel says, but you guys are free to your opinions.

[@monimuppet6132]

I'm a Black woman and I can absolutely give you, and other men like you, grace to do this work. I know full well I cannot, I cannot be the one that gets leaned on and drained of the energy I require to care for myself and my child. I have firmly believed for some years that this work does need to start with men aiding, assisting, and just straight up being nicer to other men. When a man embarrasses another man in public and women laugh, it is the women that become the villains in that origin story because kindness among men is not an expectation. I want so badly for it to be so I will gladly step out of ya'lls way, and even support you from behind as you get it done. Much love to you.

[@missfranniepants]

Big facts. We're going to quietly support from the sidelines.

[@avgriffin]

fax

[@JulianSteve]

We appreciate your support🙌🏾‼️

[@kate_m.]

Ain’t this the truth. I interned with a community organization that focused on empowering girl-identified youth to get through their teen years without imploding, and they had a pat answer for the people who would charge them with doing the same for boys: We’re women. We would love it if men started their own organization to do literally the same thing, but we can’t control that, because we’re women. Honestly, having worked in social services, I would 100% predict that the group I worked with would refer every boy/masc youth they could to that hypothetical organization if it existed, and they might even share donar lists and fundraising opportunities. Really, feminist spaces that want the best for women need, should, and do want men to start their own groups and spaces to deal with this kind of stuff, because there really is only so much we (women and femmes) can do. Part of making progress has to be trusting men to help each other out in this way.

[@TubeTAG]

We may not all be on the same path, but we all *are* on a journey, and the destination is a healthier, happier, more empathetic world. If we can support each other’s journeys and avoid becoming an obstacle on others’ paths, it’ll all be that much easier for us all to reach that goal.

[@chance_hollow]

I found myself getting really caught up in this pro masculinity movement to the point I was starting to hate myself for not being able to keep up with who I thoughtI should be. Very glad to find this video when I did

[@Jaddico]

bro legit, i reset and went back to my happy laughing bhuddah self, fuck this artifical nonsense thats the back end excrement of pure insecurity and competition culture. OH SHIT IM NOT BIG ENOUGH BETTER OVERCOMPENSATE TO FEEL VALIDATED. FUCK DAT BE LIKE MF WATER BRO!!!!

[@lucvader_1]

Bro the exact shit happened to me. Of course you have those fan made videos that tell you that all of their advice works and that now they get loads of women and that they're now super jacked and shit. I fucking hated myself and thought I was useless just because I wasn't like Hamza.

[@andrei_raianowski]

100 pushup 100 situp 100 squats 10 km run every single day, you will get there

[@alim.9801]

​@@andrei_raianowski this is a joke right

[@jiggaman000]

@@alim.9801 No. Hit the gym.

[@StageMixes]

This is a great essay as usual! I had a slight issue with the example of bisexuality to show how men aren’t allowed to differ outside of the strict rules of masculinity. Men aren’t more willing to be with bisexual women just because they’re more accepting of differences within women. It’s because bisexual women are sexualized heavily by men and often times men see that dating bi women means they’ll get to have threesomes with other women. This is something bi women have complained about for years.

[@saphire9823]

100%

[@bmoe4609]

Yea cuz im like no sir. Im one person typa chick lol.

[@mybedisgareth]

Agreed! and then when the man dating the bisexual woman finds out that he is excluded from the girl on girl action, or even just not necessarily a part of it, his masculinity gets threatened because he (his dick?) is "not needed". I'm poly and bi and when I have a girlfriend and first meet men they always get excited at the prospect of a threesome, but then when some of them realize my girl on girl relationship is not for them and is actually just as valid and serious as my girl on guy ones, they start to feel threatened, even if they get that threesome. Some of the guys I've talked to have felt threatened just from a past history or girlfriends, even if I'm currently single. And once it's no longer super sexualized in their eyes, female bisexuality is just as looked down on as male bisexuality. It's almost like they feel this fear that I'm coming for they're "job" and they're going to become obsolete. I think some straight woman's rejection of bi men seems to stem from a similar fear: "if he can get sex from other men, does he even need me?" With out the security of following the assigned gender roles in their romantic relationships, people end up feeling like their gender presentation is threatened: "If my girlfriend has a bigger dick than me, and is better at picking up chicks, does that make her more masculine? and does that make me less of a man?" or "If my boyfriend can take a bigger dick than me, and gets hit on by more men, does that make him more feminine? and does that make me less feminine?" I think the gender expression that the partners of bi people actually struggle with is their own.

[@blobertasbleach4545]

Lmao my fav situations are when the guy asks the girl to 'bring a friend' for the threesome, then gets mad when she brings a guy. But yeah as someone who's polyam myself, I hate how inherently sexualised polyamory is, and how mostly straight, monogamous people treat such a fluid relationship structure with the same rules and restrictions of monogamy. Like, there *is* no one way, or right way polyamory looks in practice, it can be as exclusive or open, as sexual or non-sexual, or as romantic or platonic as the involved parties want. Technically, though polyamory itself is inherently queer, you can be straight and monogamous and still be apart of a polycule. So polyamory in practice doesn't even exclude straight monogamy, so why assume it has to reflect the rules of traditional love at all?

[@kumaflamewar6524]

the fact that bisexual women are heavily sexualized is definitely the main factor for men being more willing to be with bisexual women, but there is also a pushback from women in dating a bisexual man. Black men especially are often subject to judgement and ridicule for any perceived homosexuality.

[@AllanPichardo]

Me: "I just don't feel like paying attention to an entire movie for an hour and a half. Also me: "Oooh 3 hours of critical analysis! Let's go!"

[@nokiot9]

It’s not proper critical analysts if you’re not getting an ounce of pushback. It’s an echo chamber.

[@AllanPichardo]

@@nokiot9 pushback? You mean like a TV talk show? You have a KZbin account, go make a video then

[@nokiot9]

@@AllanPichardo no. Pushback like a debate. This dude would get destroyed if he went against someone like destiny, who actually thinks about the things he’s saying and can debate and defend his positions in real time.

[@nokiot9]

@@AllanPichardo a tv talk show? Fk our country is doomed 😂

[@AllanPichardo]

@@nokiot9 Look I don't know anything about you so I'm just going to assume you mean what you say. This video IS indeed critical analysis. Critical analysis is by definition subjective and it is a critical examination of a body of work by another person. This video is that. No, it's not a debate, as you seem to wish it was. Nowhere does anyone in this video ever make a claim that it is a debate. You want something completely different that is not offered here. That's my point. So go either make one, or search for one of the millions I'm sure you'll also find on KZbin.

[@brinnd330]

1:31:23 As a transmasc person: THIS THIS THIS. THIS SENTENCE RIGHT HERE HITS HOME. I never got sucked in misogynist spaces…it was actually the opposite. I’ve spent a loooooottttt of time in feminist, leftist spaces-which has definitely been really helpful in many ways-but the way many people discuss “masculinity”/“men” in those spaces led to a lot of self-hatred and I’ve had an incredibly difficult time accepting that I could be in any way “male aligned”. Your channel has been a godsend, I’m not even kidding. I’m so grateful for this positive space to engage with these kinds of topics.

[@mv9653]

I’m very glad this is more the case than it used to be with trans men. When I first came out as trans in the early 2000s, other trans men in my circles were mostly truscum and very toxic.

[@MelMelodyWerner]

I'm a cis guy, but I've had this same problem in certain spaces for a while. I do understand that many women and enbies may not feel safe around men for understandable reasons (domestic abuse and/or sexual assault, etc.), and I don't mind light jokes about men (Ro Ramdin as an example had a really funny joke about how (paraphrasing) "check the patch notes, the 'men' class got patched out" in one of her videos). I don't think their experiences should ever be invalidated or their ways of grappling with such things criticized too harshly. but I've also always worried for trans brothers in particular that external misandry can turn to internal self-loathing--though I honestly don't know any trans men personally and have not wanted to speak out of turn or to ascribe emotions onto any of you lot. I think it's honestly kinda embarrassing on purportedly leftist spaces that there aren't many trans men of prominence. (though the same could also be said of indigenous voices, etc..) I cannot tell you how many times I have seen supposed "allies" assuming that all trans people are women (this was especially bad when Elliot Page came out), and I don't even run in circles with many trans dudes. I can't imagine how much more prevalent it is for y'all.

[@Scrimmified]

hey same hat! I've also never been pulled into any hard misogynist spaces, but also felt guilty about finding comfort in masculinity as a transmasc enby. I've only just started the earliest phases of my transition, and have already felt this absent guilt of becoming "part of the problem". hell I even felt guilty leaving a similar comment on this video! honestly I'm really glad someone else gets it.

[@Onus6688]

💪 we need masc people in progressive spaces! 💖

[@Pensnmusic]

As a man, I encourage you to embrace that healthy masc side! We need every bit of positive masculine energy coming from anyone who vibes with masculinity in any way.

[@JoshuaAlbury]

Thank you for the section on “What the Left needs to do better”. THAT is the part that is missing heavily. When you leave young boys to fend for themselves out of fear of not seeming feminist leaning enough, it makes it easier for the wrong messengers and harmful rhetoric to be the loudest…

[@Boahemaa]

I have a suspicion that the idea that young men are being left to fend for themselves presupposes that young women have more support. Up to a point that may be true but young women are not engaging in violent outbursts in a society that fundamentally treats them as inferior because the society punishes them heavily for trying to stand up for themselves whiles young men are encouraged to use violence to get their way. They are going in droves to the place where they are told their worst impulses are justified. Lonely young women abound but when one tried to find community, lonely men took over the platform and have made it into a death cult (incels).

[@grantog123]

...Especially when their attempts at feminism don't meet their basic human needs, sending them running to the dark side of indifference. Women do love assholes though... But that combo doesn't end well either.

[@grantog123]

@@Boahemaa Hit the nail on the head.

[@cxa011500]

@@Boahemaa Our society doesn't treat women as inferior, maybe in Saudi Arabia. Women just have different ways of lashing out destructively (like Amber Heard).

[@sugah_redd]

@@cxa011500 what society? Women in Saudi Arabia can get a legal abortion in cases of rape or incest, women in Alabama cannot

[@ColeTrainStudio]

A manga that takes a genuine, deep, and multi-faceted look at masculinity, what it means to be masculine, and how masculinity deals with emotions and trauma, is Berserk. I've checked your channel and see that you haven't covered it. It's very much worth a read (or three), even if it's not something you cover on your channel. As someone who studied literature in uni, I classify it as one of the greatest pieces of fiction written (and drawn); I make that statement devoid of hyperbole. The first few chapters paint the protagonist, Guts, as an edgelord, but the manga goes into deep detail showing how he got there and, more importantly, how he grows from there. Here's perhaps one of my favorite quotes from the entire manga which, once you've read the first few chapters truly illustrates Guts' growth: "I thought, never again. Never again could I watch the sunset and be this calm. Never again could I sleep the night through."

[@beastiebro]

Whenever recommending Berserk make sure to add a trigger warning… There’s a lot the manga is good at… and a lot that it significantly mishandles (as is often the case with works written by men that deal with SA). For me, a better place to see in depth depiction of masculinity would be Vinland Saga. Vinland Saga is a work of fiction I truly believe is worthy of being called a masterpiece. Also unlike Berserk (unfortunately), it’s anime adaption was handled with love and care.

[@Virjunior01]

​​@@beastiebro to a degree, especially with dude's father... But Berserk stands alone. The things you may see as "mishandled" are simply "in bad taste," but with real purpose. The Guts we see during The Black Swordsman arc is one we never see again... not even teetering on the edge in "The Black Swordsman, Again." What I mean by that is Guts no longer goes out of his way to be outright cruel like he was with Vargas before facing the Count. Though he does have his questionable act with the boy as bait during Lost Children, it showed he was not just a maniac, but someone who _does_ use tactics to brilliant effect. You could simply give a trigger warning and be done with it. Even the cases of rape show that the world is truly awful, and absolutely the way things were in a time when the social hierarchy truly was "might makes right" with no real laws to even _begin_ to balance the scales... you see this when Farnese muses that whenever Guts enters her life, everything that once made sense is utterly destroyed around her. And as for the demon factor, yes, they're actual demons. All are psychotic in their own way, but even some of _them_ were once innocents just done horribly wrong and twisted into full-on monsters, some longer than others. Like... _centuries_ longer. It even presents that the "apostles" come from different walks of life and have different values that reflect it. Like... you have Raep Horse, but you also have the generally good tempered "blind" Bow Sniper, and the young Sonia right there.

[@EpioN]

Berserk is edgy bullshit. It’s not that deep.

[@Virjunior01]

@@EpioN precisely wrong, and probably the most wrong thing that's ever been said. If you ever read it, you must not have gotten past the first couple volumes. It starts out edgy, then the Golden Age arc spends the next ten volumes telling a complete tragedy. It's been given the title "the Macbeth of manga." And after that is another 20 volumes until Miura's death. Or are you stuck on vapid Shonen Jump bullshit as your pinnacle of fiction? 🤦🏾‍♂️

[@SleepyMatt-zzz]

​@@beastiebro I actually agree with this. Even the creator of Berserk, Kentaro Miura (rest his soul), has made comments about his regrets on how he handled the subject of SA in the manga. While I feel like there were moments where SA was thematically well executed (Such as how it relates to Gut's trauma and the end of the Golden age arch), most other moments just felt gratuitous and wrong to me. Some may say that is the point, but to me, people really need to be careful how they handled such content matter. Personally I've had difficulty recommending this series to most Japanese media enthusiasts I know, especially women. I love the series, but am sad by how it is still broadly misunderstood, even by actual fans.

[@michaelmcfarland5903]

I consider myself very disconnected from traditional masculinity, my dad did a great job teaching me that I didn’t have to define myself through anyone else’s ideals. Later in life, finding the director Jodorowsky, solidified my idea that all we are is the limits we put ourselves in, and by expanding that, we can become infinite and understand infinitely. I’ve never considered how that philosophy has made me as happy as I am, this video did a great job outlining how those limits we put on ourselves can cause the mental illness we have that almost seems endemic among young Americans.

[@fleurosea]

Jodorosky is great 👍

[@tribesesh]

This video was certainly a “beacon to get the fuck out”. I’m so grateful that you put together such comprehensive ideas that unpack this depressing and seductive space we call the manosphere.

[@mv9653]

I appreciate you making this comment. Some people in this comments section insist that this video won’t change any minds. Good to see that they’re wrong.

[@matgonzalez6272]

While this wasn’t the video that pulled me out, content like this is what helped shake me up. And i fully agree that a lot of the people consuming manosphere content genuinely want to do better and are trying to find the right place, but it’s not exactly easy to find when the algorithm kinda cranks up whatever you’re already watching rather than leveling out your ideas and presenting counter arguments. I’m really glad that you finally addressed this F.D. Signifier, i think a lot of men needed it.

[@iphone6person21]

It wasn't until recently that I realized just how heavily these masculine traits are socialized in childhood. It's nuts. And it starts at such a young age. My first memory of this was when I was in the first grade. My mom had gotten me a pair of Ugs. I remember being ridiculed for wearing what looked like something a girl would wear. I have a terrible memory. I can't remember anything from last month let alone 13 years ago (I'm 21 currently). The fact that this moment is one I remember so vividly really tells you how significant this moment was in my childhood. From that point on, I did my best to fit in as a man in society. I despised pink, I bottled up my emotions and avoided crying, and tried to appear stronger than I was. This was my life until my freshman year of college when it all just came crashing down. You can only bottle up your emotions inside for so long before it all just bursts out at once. Before this, I never thought (nor do I know) that I was an incel. However, I think I could've easily gone down the path of redpilling or even blackpilling myself. I thought there was merit to the argument that women only want "bad boys." I never progressed far into the manosphere, but I believe that is the first step most people take into it. Luckily I am in a good place today. Masculinity and gender more broadly are the reasons I've realized I'm non-binary. I never really felt like a man. That whole time I felt as though I was cast for the wrong part in a play that I was forced to do. Edit: Just some stuff I want to add to my original comment. I don't think masculinity is toxic in its entirety, just like FD outlined in this video. I just don't think even the non-toxic elements of masculinity really apply to me personally. Basically, I'm not non-binary because I hate masculinity, but researching the manosphere and gender helped me realize I was non-binary. You can be masculine and not be toxic. Being toxic isn't very cash money

[@Ingydar_]

OMG I resonate with you so much

[@killergrooves2438]

You know, your comment made me realize that my childhood hero was Bret Hart, a pro wrestler whose signature color was pink. That’s probably not relevant to anything, but it did instill in me an appreciation for the color pink.

[@michiganrico2802]

It’s alright to be LGBTLMNOP my friend go tell your dad he’s failed you

[@Pensnmusic]

Something worth considering, hegemonic masculinity isn't only appealing to men and boys, and children are more susceptible to social conditioning. I don't think it's untrue that girls and young women may want bad boys, but that doesn't mean it's a biological thing. It's social conditioning and it's bad for its own reasons. It hurts them and it encourages you to hurt yourself and others. We're all wind up dolls trying to find and reclaim our own keys..

[@nelsonth]

Thanks for sharing. I am happy you have reached a point where your gender identity is clearer to you. I think here should also be space for people to identify as men (or women), even if they do not fit the stereotype.

[@thebarefootfairy]

Thank you from a black female viewer here! I actually saw my husband who's a very good and kind man slipping into watching some of those kinda videos a few years ago. It definitely started with Gary Vee and then spiraled but stopped just short of Samuels. I could tell he was just looking for guidance and I was able to have a chat with him about why he wasn't going to find it in these guys. He quit watching that stuff and has really begun to step into defining his masculinity for himself - Its beautiful! Note: I also want to point out that there is some level of this that happens within the black protestant church also...see Jerrod Carmichael's Home Videos for an example. I can't help but wonder about the impact of similar, yet far less controversial voices like ET the hip hop preacher.

[@raskassputin7408]

The reason Peterson is so successful at being a gateway is because he speaks in story and allegory. People are unlikely to change their beliefs based on a debate between opposing side, however tell a story and the moral more easily passes into the subconscious because it alligns with a the narrative function of how we construct our identity. And even though stories don't portray their ideas by facts or internally coherent ideology, their message is portrayed and interrupted as universal truth which is seen as more timeless and trust worthy.

[@NeedlessNick]

Really enjoyed editing this one! Alot of long nights and getting things right, but well worth it, hope you all enjoy this masterclass in moving us forward!

[@collyflower6623]

Great work as always!

[@sharonbaker3007]

Great work!

[@deon5329]

Really enjoyed this. Your contribution has helped make this video even more enjoyable!

[@imanigordon6803]

Keep up the good work behind the scenes buddy 👌🏾

[@thats4thebirds]

Amazing work!

[@Sizifus]

Attack on Titan is imo pretty slippery when it comes to the question if its message is supporting fascism or not, from my perspective, the moment Eren decided to wipe Liberio, he became an irredeemable villain. To me, the final seasons of AoT signified the world that is drenched in hatred to the point where both sides are almost kind of justified at starting and fighting in the conflict, the problem being how to stop this cycle of this unnecessary violence. Like, you constantly see moments in this show, where bitter enemies start to humanize each other and despite the past come together, but you can never shake that awful feeling of the taint being put on everyone involved, like everyone who comes out at the top are not winners, but just lucky survivors, like at that point, no fascistic ideology has won, you're just left with broken people standing in the ruins, doomed to repeat the horrors of the old world.

[@HiBuddyyyyyy]

I get why people wrote that alternate fan ending where Eren succeeded in everything now. They didn’t like that Eren was wrong and failed.

[@whoisthisperson8454]

@@HiBuddyyyyyy yeah and the glorified fanfic was made out of bitterness and spite which ended up with awful writing. Also most of the people are racist, misogynistic and borderline neo-nazis.

[@badpope]

my issue with AOT's ending was that Eren wasn't rejected by Mikasa and Armin or the other scouts for his evil act. The ending was framed in a way that almost celebrated Eren. "This is the world that he left us." Eren didn't deserve Mikasa visiting that tree in his honor every year until she died of old age. Having that be part of the story is giving him a pass for genocide.

[@christopherblack5875]

AOT is hard for me to come to terms with. I feel like once they got to the ocean, and Eren pointed out to it and asked, if we kill everyone on the other side of this water, will we be free? Basically doomed him as a character. To the point were Mikasa and Armin didn't really know what to say to that. Its actually reminding me now of the people who used to say Light Yagami did nothing wrong in Death Note, and it kinda makes me sad that 2 animes I really like alot of people take thw wrong message away from them which then makes me think well, if people really cannot see the message in them and use it to justify something terrible, should they even exisit? I dunno tho...I feel like its still kinda a stretch to compare Eren's situation to real life spree killers, based on the privilege of some of these real life people, but seeing the words of the killers and Erens words it is making me think a little different about it.

[@lawrencehan537]

They killed him as mercy killing not as a criticism of his actions - major difference.

[@JBirden]

As a black man raised in rural area in ohio. I have been lost for years in the manosphere trying to fight against who I am and what I believe is right and I managed to get out and I have been a progressive ever since and I'm trying to find my way. I appreciate pt 1 and 2. This has connected many of the questions I've had about why society is the way it is. Thank you!

[@cenyoorsunt3167]

Everything is the way it is cause stupid people vote. It's not hard to figure out whose stupid cause it's the ones who won't shut up about something. Whatever it ends up being they just bang on and on about how they're special or oppressed. Naturally making society better is hard work which will scare a majority and any negative thinking parties like the Trans or those quacks on the right who think authoritarianism is some sort of a plan will abuse the majority into following a script. As if minorities using fear to control the unwashed masses wasn't bad enough it just keeps getting worse day by day.

[@Eatinbritches]

​@@cenyoorsunt3167 Ah, a "cleverly" disguised "both sides" argument. Yeah... the "stupid people vote" line is straight from the far right authoritarian "quacks" as you say.

[@aweddemigod9956]

Thank you.

[@JimBob-jr5up]

​@@cenyoorsunt3167Buddy, we're at least 50 years or a Richard Nixon removed from voting being a changer. 31 from voting mattering at all.

[@formerbabyfutureghost]

“dopamine dicktox” sounds like the next mens self help community buzzword - amazing video as always

[@baxterjaye3984]

I heard it like "Dicktoks" thinking it was the tiktok manosphere community

[@marvin2678]

Dopamine detox is a serious thing

[@christianlima987]

When you said dicktox i thought you meant women stop sleeping with so many dudes they can say all men. Like all men have been thu them.

[@thelegalsystem]

"If you know anything about trans people, you know there's a high suicide rate" You're not wrong, I just wish this wasn't such a core component of the trans experience. I weep for my siblings going through it. We are gonna make it.

[@fmlAllthetime]

Right? Like, tbh, I like myself. Not a huge fan of some of my insecurities, but it'll be okay. The entirety of trans experience isn't pain and suffering.

[@MK_ULTRA420]

The idea that almost half of the trans community commits suicide feels like an alt-right dogwhistle.

[@kmann100500]

statistically speaking you're not.

[@thelegalsystem]

@@kmann100500 I don't understand what you mean 😀

[@XXDevinReevesXX]

I am a female therapist who has a fair amount of male clients and I've seen all of this (the isolation, despair, and frustration to name a few emotions but they are attracted to the manosphere) in them and I'm genuinely so thankful for this perspective. I've been saying similar things to my colleagues and I've found that so many of them are stuck in space where they can't hear men. There is so much shame around what it means to be a man or be masculine and it really is through challenging what it means to be a man (usually I get strong, protective, stoic, and brave as answers) allows men to be themselves (and be "masculine" if that's what feels good to them) without shame.

[@menschgebliebenergossenpar9213]

Everyone says that men should be themselves until "themselves" really means "altruistic, overhumbled workhorses of society who will throw themselves willingly onto the bullet to preserve the collective".

[@quantumphysicsofficial]

Skill issue

[@ottojarvonnen2455]

As a man, "being a man" is a dead ideological carcass to me at this moment. I dont think I want to be anything positive for the "community" anymore. I dont even feel as a human, since Im fairly isolated from other people and just hate the majority of em. I hate them because I dont feel kinship with them anymore, and tbh, I dont want to feel empathy for them, because they use it against me. Im expected to work for "the greater good", for others, help wherever I can and if somethign wents wrong and I say "fck it" , Im being labelled as "immature and irresponsible" and Im expected to eat sh*t and die. I dont even feel as a "loser", because a loser still feels some kinship with other people and tries to crawl up societys arse so he wont be alone. Im of no use for this shetty world, and I dont want to be.

[@XXDevinReevesXX]

@@ottojarvonnen2455 it sounds like you are feeling the pressure to perform and be useful and not receiving any reciprocal help or support. Have you tried therapy?

[@ottojarvonnen2455]

@@XXDevinReevesXX Ah, nah, the pressure to perform isnt there anymore; just resentment and absolute refusal. And no I havent. And frankly and without sounding disrespectful to you, I feel somehow that therapy only exists to make me a repaired cog of society again, not to make me feel better/happier. This, or it seems like a systematic "defusion" of a person, who is considered as "explosive" and dangerous to society; like a lobotomy but only with meds and a "youre responsible for everything/your life, your faults"-mantra to repeat to oneself over and over.

[@courtneyxchrono4135]

That Eren Yeager quote upsets me not only because it's flat-out vile, but it also doesn't make any sense. How are you supposed to destroy the cycle of hatred and revenge, if you're committing acts that come from hatred and revenge itself? Not only does that make him a repulsive hypocrite, but it also proves that he has no idea what he's talking about.

[@mangamandrew]

I think the point is that the cycle of hatred can’t be broken as long as humans exist.

[@derekjordangregg7468]

What haha

[@beanbroly]

Even Yaeger was groomed into becoming a genocidal war criminal by both a system of oppression every other continent put on the Eldiens, his own social structures, and himself from the future. You aren't watching a person strive to be better with Attack on Titan: ya watching the downward spiral of one man enduring a world that deemed his nation as Devils. Lesser. Inhuman. Do I justify his actions? Hell naw! But do I understand his reasoning? Understand the systematic oppression of his nation by the entire globe? Understand how he became the devil he despised? Yes. Attack on Titan is a good piece of media because it warns people of this condition of humantiy: We're cruel when we are left with no option for kindness.

[@Raptor3698]

One fictional character I’m surprised has not been brought up that’s popular with edgelords is The Punisher

[@banquetoftheleviathan1404]

People have def spoken about it on the more lefty comic channels. I also have a friend who thinks people with punisher logos are following him and me telling him cops use the logo didn’t help.

[@TheLyricalCleric]

What really gets me is not that the people using Punisher logos want to accurately represent the comics, like if they had Spider-Man logos or captain America shields. Instead, they just want the skull and the perception of vigilantism, of extreme violence. Yet if you ask them, “do you support extreme vigilante violence?”, they’d contradict themselves. The cops with punisher logos would of course say no, the dudebros with punishers on their trucks would probably say yes. So what is it? Is excessive, lethal, vigilante vengeance acceptable for everybody or just for a certain class of people?

[@christineherrmann205]

Which is so ironic; the actor that plays the Punisher is SO sweet. Given the characters he plays, I expected otherwise, I guess, but he seems incredibly thoughtful in interviews.

[@davilimalol4612]

I'm also surprised the term sigma male only showed up a handful of times in everything he's said about edgelords, I always found it the best term to describe them.

[@emceeunderdogrising]

@@christineherrmann205 Another oddity. The original creator of the comic has denounced right wing appropriation of his comic. Even changing the logo.

[@mapitizat]

Out of all this, the standout point I appreciated was the emphasis on the yearning for development and direction. Followers of the manosphere and the alpha movement is just looking for direction in this mess we call life. The biggest selling point is how easily digestible it is. Like fast food: it may taste good but it does nothing for us in the long run. Thanks unc. Another banger for the archives

[@Nassifeh]

I get frustrated by the fact that there's very little in the way of like... motivational life content for people who aren't terrible? You can basically pick between "manosphere", "evangelical", or "techbro". I wish there were more left-leaning resources in the direction of helping get your shit together, because I start to wonder if we'd get more done in the world collectively if that were the case. It's not that I need to be told what to do! It's literally just that listening to people talk about living functional and productive lives seems to make me better at doing that. I've never been tempted by that first two categories above but reluctantly consume a lot of the third because it's the closest thing I can get to relatable.

[@SirnaMJr]

ive been watchin aba and preach for years and I can verify with all the truth in my soul that your analysis is spot on. thank you for the different perspective. it was your video on dave chapelle that made really do some soul searching . im 38 bro with a strong sense of self and morality and that was the video that made me reverse course and recognize my own problematic behavior. if you read this I want you to know that your videos when watched with an open and objective mindset are powerful. the best way to describe it for me is like being blind for most of your life and waking up one morning with the ability to see everything in rich detail. I said all that to cheer you on, you're educating more people than u think.

[@knucklessonic1067]

Amen brother

[@Pssst.ByTheWay]

I know what my next video is

[@uk5679]

Good for you dude! It doesn't matter when you make the change, all that matters is that you made it. Be proud of yourself man, it can be difficult for many to change their stripes.

[@SirnaMJr]

@@uk5679 that just it I didn't know I had those stripes until I watched that video and when I flipped my opinion on the Dave Chapelle special my friends were like wtf. I pointed them to the history of terfs and my man fd. Thank u for the kind words tho

[@bbbbbbb51]

Personally, I find Signifier to be too self righteous & dismissive/judgemental of ideologies he disagrees with. I don't think he really engages with them in good faith even if he makes some good points about them as a whole.

[@obakengafrica2919]

I'm so grateful for your channel. You ability to address some of the most pertinent issues in our lives yet also connect it with some of the most intellectually dense resources is amazing. I'm truly inspired by your work.

[@sarapocorn]

you just KNOW I am beyond excited for this. Also, really appreciate the European-friendly premiere time :)

[@sarapocorn]

damn, those gamergate / anti-SJW clips were so hard to watch. the young atheist pipeline took me there back in the day, hate to have been there.

[@thelouisjohnson]

Yukio Mishima wrote a book called 'The Sailor that fell from Grace with the Sea', which was a book about the development of masculinity amidst the modernisation of Japan in the decades following the second world war. It follows a sailor who has to balance his attitudes toward masculinity: either embracing the ideal of himself as a lone, self-sufficient sailor or renouncing that ideal to settle down with the woman he loves. One of the main themes of the book is the masculine ideal of glory. The deep longing for a greater purpose or ideal (the sea) and the desire to have contributed meaningfully to something bigger than the self. To settle down in life, to compromise for your utility is a renunciation of that potential glory. There is no resolution to the sailor's dilemma but one of the more interesting things the book does is comment on the beautification of death (to die heroically is preferable to living with no sense of purpose) historically traditional in Japanese culture. When you mentioned the Northmen, I couldn't help but be reminded of this idea. It seems that men are trying really hard to find a sense of meaningful utility in the wake of a modern culture that doesn't need them to be. To go in search of some kind of masculine ideal to aspire to or to simply resign oneself to be of service, can often seem like the only two options for men to establish a sense of identity. The ideal of glory and death for the cause seems to be symbolic of this. To believe that there is a higher ideal to aspire towards, because simply living (with all the modern assurances) doesn't feel enough. It's no wonder the manosphere exists, it seems to be an attempt to cater to this problem.

[@returnalnocturnal7729]

The Northmen deals with and criticizes these masculine ideas as well. By the end of the movie you come to the realization about the cost and consequence all these characters face as they latch on to their masculine culture to the bitter end. The Northmen also comes off as a warning for men who want to find meaning in this toxic way.

[@thelouisjohnson]

@@returnalnocturnal7729 I think that emphasises the issue of a lack of alternatives. It's the issue when criticising any kind of masculine culture: the masculine ideal has always served a function in society. Whether we're talking about fathers or cultural ideals: men have always looked to other men for guidance and direction. You could argue that a lack of a cultural masculine ideal has led to the rise of alternatives, like pickup artists or hustle entrepreneurs, who've worked to take its place. No doubt this is a real problem we're going to have to deal with in this hyper-connected, hyper-diverse world. I quite like the greek/stoic ideal, which focuses on the betterment of self, understanding, knowledge and your ability to face the world. I do think we need something as men to understand how to process and approach the world; to know what is worth doing. Coming back to Mishima, it's interesting that the only options the sailor felt he had were glory, utility or death. In the aftermath of the war, there were no alternatives.

[@fideletamo4292]

@@thelouisjohnson stoicism is Also problematic tho, it says you shouldn't show your vulnerability and suffer in silence, the strong type Gary Cooper as Tony soprano said..it's not very human...but the stoic morality of betterment of oneself is just great...i like your point about men only seeing their purpose in Glory, death or utility...Mishima rejected his sensitive nature, was haunted by his weakness and his fear of death (he faked tuberculoses to escape the War) so he turned into a reactionary fascist, i blame the japanese culture ideals for that as much as himself..yukio is a case study for toxic masculinity..

[@thelouisjohnson]

@@fideletamo4292 I agree, I mostly take Stoicism in the light of betterment and the pursuit of Socratic ideals. When it comes to suffering, I would extend that fact: the goal is not to avoid suffering, but to understand it. Yukio is an interesting case study for walking that line - you could say it was the failure of culture to adapt to the needs of men post-war that failed both Yukio and the wider society. It's interesting that his instinct was drawn to fascism and not hedonism (alternatively). Again, it seems like a further pursuit of a united ideal or glory for a cause. You can draw many parallels with politics today; the human instinct to restrict our own freedoms for the sake of meaning.

[@fideletamo4292]

@@thelouisjohnson my problem is stoicism says you shouldn't cry when you suffer..which is very toxic. To me yukio chose fascism cuz he was afraid of his own weakness or fragility as a man, fascism is about being a strong bloodthirsty hypermasculine Guy..the Glory for fascists Comes from courage as a soldier under fire, being able to kill and be killed...so imagine being a soft sensitive man under a tradition which is all about War, self sacrifice, imperialism...patriarchy and toxic masculinity Can drive a good Guy crazy.

[@PR0MAN01]

So for my entire childhood, all the key figures in my social development were women. My mom, 2 sisters, my grandma, an aunt and all female cousins. I was the one man in my family besides my dad. But he had a stroke in my early teen years that essentially put him on the sidelines of my entire teen life up until his death last year. And all the women in my family were very traditional in their views on societal gender roles and how I should be acting as a man. They wanted me to fill the role of a stoic provider who didn't express himself. So once I started to become a leftist and recognize the roles of patriarchy in how we act, I always felt isolated because the solutions to these issues always came from a feminine perspective. Which isn't to say those aren't valuable perspectives, but to me personally they offered no real solutions to liberate myself from my internalized behaviors that were taught to me by women. There needs to be more discussion by men effected by the patriarchy for men effected by the patriarchy. There needs to be some positive male guidance that offers a more personal perspective than just reciting theory.

[@fideletamo4292]

Patriarchy is genderless right?..being a soft boy is Already difficult enough to recognize the bad effects of patriarchy on men, you Can go against patriachy just by observing his effects on soft, poor, weak men way before women..

[@NFSMAN50]

So relatable lol. I had the same experience growing up, mostly raised by women, had a father, but he worked a demeaning job and wasn't around much, but they had traditional gender roles, and would give me a hard time for being sensitive and emotional.

[@jongya]

Love what was brought up about bi men. I’ve totally experienced that one woman saying I’m not her type bc “she supports lgbtq+ people but she only likes manly men” (where she clarified having sex with other men wasn’t manly). Another lady I was with said she didn’t like me being bi bc she had to be suspicious of me around both men and women, to which I recognized the double red flag I was presented with and dipped from that relationship.

[@susanrichardson631]

If you can't be accepted for who you are and how you treat people you should never be in that relationship. As a woman who is open to people from all orientations I empathize. I got a whole bunch of flak because I once dated an intersex person and the person that I was dating at the time was not comfortable with that and felt that I was abnormal. I dropped them very quickly.

[@jayjaygolden5123]

my abusive transfem ex hated my biness and any displays of femininity. Which held back my ability to figure out that i am trans myself for even longer than it already had been held back by my own internal preconceptions. On the other hand, if i had never met her i mightbe never known what all os possible. its so lame to consider biness to be un masculine. even if a certain lack of masculinity was true for myself, i suppose, but thats not really related to my biness.

[@ohitsclemenTIME]

Thank you for addressing Abba and Preach. People don't put them in the same group because they're not a full joke like fresh and fit. Because they're sometimes reasonable, they often get a pass

[@gt3420]

Sneako now too. With abba and preach it’s a lot more passive but it’s absolutely there. When they made those videos on Dave Chappelle it was like a bulb went off in my head.

[@vanessa_lmao8219]

I actually was introduced to the manosphere by watching them (when they were less popular), and for a while they made sense to me, but at a certain point they started giving me bad vibes and something was wrong, but their fanbase wasn't catching onto that and was actually quickly growing so I felt like it was a me issue, but I eventually stopped watching them because they kept on making me uncomfortable with their content. But I'm so glad that FD and other people have realised that they aren't healthy and are just a less toxic version of majority of the manosphere.

[@mikealaniz7236]

@@vanessa_lmao8219 I feel like this guy is dangerous too because all he does is drench you in excuses for why problems aren’t your fault. They’re the white mans fault.

[@vanessa_lmao8219]

@@mikealaniz7236 Which is honestly correct as most problems do stem from white men. F.D. does an amazing job with calling out different ethnicities while still making us empathetic of them and educating us. Personally, I think this creator is really amazing, so if your only warning about him is that he blames white men for things they caused, you might want to check what you classify as "dangerous".

[@mikealaniz7236]

@@vanessa_lmao8219 problems stem from every race. Africans sold their own people(captured from enemy tribes) to slavery. it’s like people hating the Jewish but are just as greedy with the amount of money they want themselves. Or white people blaming Mexicans for taking their jobs but it’s a white man doing the hiring. Slavery still happens in Africa today. But somehow that’s someone else’s fault? I rather listen to someone who says to look inside myself for strength rather than look around for some excuses.

[@tyghe_bright]

As a gay trans man who spent a lot of years trying to live as a straight woman, my relationship to masculinity is decidedly different from most men's--and yet, in some ways, not as different as one might think. I spent literal decades as a feminist activist. I had lots of gay and gender non-conforming guy friends and never once questioned their varied expressions of masculinity. But when it came to myself, I still had internalized an idea of manhood that was much more butch and mainstream. It was only after reading bell hooks' The Will to Change *for the second time* that I began to realize I was holding myself to a different standard than I was holding other men. When I first encountered trans men, in the early 90s, they were literally bodybuilders, construction workers, and cowboys. All of them straight. And a decade later, there were a lot of young trans men who were skater boi types, white hiphop fans, espousing all kinds of misogyny in an attempt to be accepted as men. I'd gone the other way and tried harder to be a "real woman". As a society, we need some kind of rites of passage for people to explore their gender. And we need ways to affirm the value of men that recognizes forms of masculinity that are healthy. For all men and masculine folks--but especially for Black men. That's not easy to figure out, but videos like this are a good start. Thank you.

[@fraimework]

“ As a gay tans man “ So as a lesbian then ?????

[@camille_creates410]

@@fraimework they can’t be a lesbian if they are a man

[@Pan-optic]

Man, I completely get that. I'm also trans masc and I would never even dream of policing other people's gender expression in the way in which I have policed my own. Funnily enough, it was almost a surprise to realise how flamboyant I am now, because pre-transition I was so contained in my presentation and behaviour. I had a lot of internalised toxic masculinity that coming out as trans really helped me confront.

[@Pan-optic]

@@fraimework A gay trans man is a trans man attracted to men.

[@vlonefilmzzz3880]

You could never be one of us stop it😂 your comment comes from a privileged place I guarantee you if amerca falls on hard times that little feminine side you try to hide is going to burst out

[@abrahamalsaeedi8745]

really happy to find you man. You are smart, nuanced, and empathetic. You don't speak in extremes. The more people that brush up against this type of content, the better discourse will be for literally any topic.

[@thoticcusprime9309]

nah doubt it

[@karineaghajanyan]

I agree, balance is rarity these days. Radicalism, extremism, obsession & fixation are the four horsemen of social apocalypse!

[@Itri_Vega]

I'm a black trans man in Europe and somewhat early into my transition (2 years, 7 months of which have been on testosterone, so I am starting to be read as male in my daily life). It's really hard to figure out what being a man really means without coming across this manosphere nonsense or crusty gender roles that always repulsed me. I certainly understand why men and boys feel a void because I sometimes feel it as well. I basically always knew 100% what I am not but it took a lot of work to figure out what I am. Can definitely see why young men in search of purpose get sucked into this spiral. Especially if you don't want the "work, eat, sleep, find partner, have 2,5 children and a dog [if you can afford it], work, die" hamster wheel and have to figure out what you want to do instead.

[@avacadomangobanana2588]

That’s becuase being a good man often revolves around having strength but not abusing it, but the reality is there’s so few good male role models that many people forget that crucial part and we’ll, abuse their power

[@nanashi420]

I have no experience being a black man, but as an Alaska Native man, my idea of manhood is simply living with integrity in whatever you do. Morality, mental strength, and kindness are more necessary now than ever, especially here in the US. We have polarization between everyone right now and anything you can do to remind people that no matter their differences, everyone is human and deserves respect, is enough imo, along with being a protector of the people you care about and willing to step in at your own expense when you see someone in trouble. I'm glad I made my own way and never got wrapped up in someone else's idea of manhood, I think mine is the best for me, haha. The internet allows people to lose their individuality in exchange for an echo chamber to make life seem easier and more black and white than it really is, and obviously life is hard, anything that makes it easier is going to be desirable, even if it negates other parts of being human.

[@jiggaman000]

You're not a Man. You're a Woman.

[@GeometryDashKenaz]

Well first things first is that you aren't a man, will never be one and the few feelings you get as you "pass" as a, man to unknowing people doesn't and will never illustrate the feelings or experiences of a real man

[@GeometryDashKenaz]

@@nanashi420 My peak was GD videos? Are you stupid? I did something fun in my high-school days that happened to get some views and make me some money and somehow that's my peak? By your logic you haven't even been going uphill bruh. And trans men are women playing dress up. I never said it's difficult being a man. It is however impossible for woman to ever be a man. Quite simple. If you wanna be an "ally" for the mentally ill that's not my problem

[@SanteLiberatore]

I think it’s interesting when you compare Eren to Thorfinn from Vinland Saga. Eren’s mother was taken from him, so he eventually decided to take everyone’s mother away from them. He wanted everyone to suffer like him. Thorfinn’s father was taken away from him and he eventually decided he’d never inflict the same cruelty on another soul, and instead help others so they’d never suffer the same way. Eren even grew up with friends who cared about him and still chose hatred and violence. Thorfinn grew up with no one and still chose peace and love.

[@tyrecea_z]

Thorfinn had his sisters and mother also a whole village stop capping broski

[@SanteLiberatore]

@@tyrecea_z not after Thors died he didn’t for 10 years

[@Silburific]

I can never understand people acting as though Eren's trauma justifies his heinous actions when just about every named character around him has endured just as much, if not more trauma, and somehow _didn't_ turn into nihilistic mass murderers. Mikasa's parents were killed in front of her by sex traffickers who wanted to sell her to the highest bidder. Armin's parents were killed by the secret police for trying to go over the walls in a hot air balloon, and his grandfather was sent on a death march so the wealthy elites wouldn't have to share their food. Connie's entire village was turned into titans, with his father, brother and sister eventually being killed and his mother forever trapped as a non-sentient monster that would eat him if he got too close. Levi was an orphan who nearly died of starvation as a child, raised by his serial killer uncle who abandoned him like an old dog because he didn't want the responsibility of raising a kid. Erwin's father was tortured and executed by the state after accidentally figuring out their ancient conspiracy. _All_ of these people have suffered at the hands of "enemies", and yet _none_ of them take their pain out on other people (even though Mikasa killed one of the sex traffickers, it's pretty obviously self defense in that case). Erwin literally overthrows the government that murdered his father and tried to murder him, but does he take that final step and "kill his enemies"? No- he lets them go to prison and moves on with his life, just like everyone else. Everyone but Eren, because Eren alone believes his pain is more important than anything. Eren refuses to "leave the forest", and does his damnedest to drag everyone back in with him.

[@SanteLiberatore]

@@Silburific completely agree. Eren simps are just as bad too.

[@deadsoon]

Thorfinn is the actual chad Eren fanboys wish to be.

[@IAmLeMonke]

I was borderline radicalized for years, and it took me losing everything to realise it. I'd have to guess that a deeper problem within the family unit might be to blame. All of my problems and insecurities came from never being able to express emotion to a strong, anchor figure in my life. It all bottled and brewed into hatred and rage, and radicalization was an easy outlet for all of that. But that's just me.

[@sarahp2707]

Greetings, friend! I'm really glad to hear that you survived that madness. I have a question, if you don't mind answering. I was making a feminist zine, but recently have changed it to a sort of anti-patriarchy theme because I really love men and wanted to be able to educate ppl about the injustices men deal with. But it's also possible that some guys who are still stuck in the life that you once were (i "distribute" the zine kinda guerilla style, just leaving it all over the place in public.) Is there ANY way that i could even crack the door to their minds open a bit? Is there any tactic that would be helpful for me? What tactics should I avoid? And, finally, what would YOU want to see from a zine like mine, what would be most helpful for you, taking into account that you're recovered (idk what other word to use) now? I know that's a lot, but any amount of advice you can give me would be great! Thanks, and I wish you health and happiness 😊

[@qjtvaddict]

See so lack of fathers leads men to radicalism?

[@qjtvaddict]

@@sarahp2707 so basically feminists failed to communicate their message to help men. Sad

[@veryfinan5187]

Let me guess you’re a socialist now

[@woudgy]

It sounds like you've done some important work on yourself-it's not easy to dig into this stuff.

[@NateAlyn]

As a 30 year old Black man, Aba & Preach content constantly is being pushed to me. It took me months to realize that the manosphere was taking over my algorithm. I like them as creators but I stopped watching them consistently and also stopped clicking on all manosphere content. My KZbin recommended section readjusted. I still want Aba & Preach to succeed because I think their conversations can be very nuanced and they are genuinely entertaining comedians, but I am tired of seeing the same talking points regurgitated over and over again.

[@Lifegoalspodcast]

Because Aba& Preach is a gateway to the manosphere.

[@EvilShadex101]

@@Lifegoalspodcast they aren’t a gateway as much as people who tend to watch Aba & Preach just so happen to watch manosphere content as well. KZbin’s algorithm has recently changed to boost that aspect. I get channels recommended to me all the time just from this channel and it’ll literally say “F.D viewers tend to also watch this”.

[@imanigordon6803]

@@Lifegoalspodcast I agree with that a bit also they share viewership with some conservatives (Crowder) that are just pure ignorance. So it’s kinda hard to support completely because they almost never talk about black issues.

[@jaccl4539]

but there not manosphere - and the algorithm can have associations but there two different things

[@laughingshaman1]

I watched them in the beginning, but there was this nasty under current that got to be too much for me.

[@gracieee2593]

i’m a 22 y.o. white girl and honestly these videos are so essential for my learning and understanding of peoples lives and point of views. these aren’t things that i have had to struggle with so having someone take the time and break down the pipeline makes having conversations with manosphere people so much easier. i want to have a well rounded view on how we all as humans got to this point and be an essential part of fixing the problem, not in a white savior kind of way, but i understand that i might be able to reach people if i’m coming to them with empathy and they might realize, oh you’re a woman and you actually care about my feelings. ya know? i’m quickly becoming a big fan of your work! thank you for all the time and effort you put into your videos it truly means so much. keep up the awesome work

[@fionafiona1146]

I appreciate this content for the same reason, is there anything else you would recommend?

[@SmackDabCola]

Trust me girl it’s ain’t sunshine’s and rainbows here there is no perfect answer to anything I seen it all dealing with human trafficking and find solace in deism I don’t know what my life brings me next I hope you’re great 🫰

[@keneanbekele1143]

I audibly screamed when you addressed Abba and Preach, that is a scream from relief. I just kept thanking you through the screen! Thank you.

[@TheLadyBlerd]

.....I've been waiting for an intelligent DRAGGING of them for over a year now. The pandemic just made them sooooo much worse. F.D. out here being the best unc 🥰🥰🥰

[@wonpilspiano]

They are insufferable

[@bhavya5692]

I second that as well , it was disappointing seen them become like that. I enjoyed their content then it became so manipulative so quickly and so swiftly.

[@reddare2386]

Having worked a long time in suicide prevention, I saw the primal wounds a lot of men are carrying. There are men who genuinely believe they are fundamentally defunct, broken and weak and that has been cut into their psyche since childhood. The depth of self hatred, grief and compacted fear that is possible in men is something I think a lot of people completely ignore. The manosphere is one of the only places that is unashamedly celebratory of masculinity and they welcome men who have a deep need for acceptance by offering the illusion of control. If you have been forced to commit emotional self harm for decades, the idea that you can become a ‘high value man’ and therefore alleviate that pain and disconnection sounds pretty sweet. I really believe that men spiralling in this way is evidence that we have failed our sons for a long time. I am a dyed-in-wool feminist /and/ I think that if we don’t encourage spaces of masculine acceptance, celebration and divinity, we are limiting men to the worst versions of themselves and then punishing them for it.

[@adalheidisofadamahcaptaino18]

My question is, how does it become more widespread? How to get more groups of acceptance? There are groups out there, support groups, friend groups, inner circles, and they accept and help men in those groups but what more can be done aside from supporting organisations? 🤔 Advocacy? And then what? Most people don't seem to care about advocating.

[@thepaladxn]

@Amy Ritchie ll CW: mention of trauma . . . Of course acknowledging the fact that as men only we can fix these particular issues for ourselves & that it's no one else's ultimate responsibility (and also keeping in mind the unique context for my personal perspective: my c-PTSD from my mother's extended abuse), then in case this is helpful, I will mention that I have found it deeply healing to discover more and more women holding each other loudly accountable for genderless grievances which nevertheless I have held myself gutted for in the voice of my abuser, who studiously instilled in me gendered disdain for my father and brothers as a child and isolated me from the world to protect me from its influence. This in conjunction with observing non-men expressing delight in forms of masculinity which are healthy, which has helped me to identify the versions of masculinity which might be considered as a goal for me - and has helped me believe that there was a world in which I could be considered worthwhile as a man, and not a shameful monster to be hidden from the world. In case I never get another chance to thank y'all for that - thank you. I can never thank y'all enough for what those of you who have done that, have done for me in doing that - a lighthouse in a hurricane at sea. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

[@Pssst.ByTheWay]

@Amy Ritchie in general i think its the same base mechanism, that being a good advocate for women entails. Ask men exactly this, what can i do for you. I want to help. Ask them directly. -Acknowledge the male reality as valid (what aboutism and gaslighting are terrible), -be kind in your interactions(shaming language against men is rampant, allow him to maintain his dignity and strength, ), -use your voice outwardly to show that men and their experiences matter, (Even as simple as calling out comments that are shaming or ridiculing or descriminatory. ) Men seeing in the small things, that men dont have to live a sink or swim mentality. That someone sees them, accepts that and that someone has their backs. Heck merely the mere act of asking what is going on with guys and actually listening, acknowledging and not turning their vulnerability and words against them will absolutely FLOOR so many men. (Even my therapist can’t do this, its always “me”, its subtle but its there. Allow my, even if only percieved, victim status/ hurt validity, allow it to exist without challange. i know for myself not ALL women, but that mere mention shows my hurt/experience arnt valid. And for me atleast. That one line, its damaged the interaction. Badly. That mid sentence statement was a shutdown. I definitely thing twice before opening up there is resistance . This was fairly recently. But dont i need or want sympathy or pandering, neutral allowing to exist) Not pandering or condescending. Many men see their value in their strength or that society values them for their strength so wording that undermines that position is just salt in the wounds “aww you poor thing” Id like to quote cher at this point Jane Pauley: “You said, ‘a man is not a necessity. A man is a luxury.’” Cher: “Like dessert, yeah. A man is absolutely not a necessity.” Jane Pauley: “Did you mean that to sound mean and bitter?” Cher: “Not at all! I adore dessert, I love men. I think men are the coolest. But you don’t really need them to live. ( i dont think many men get off on the power dynamics aspect of being “needed”, nor see their intrinsic worth in the helplessness of women. But being appreciated and acknowledged for what we do/ have done goes a long way) We are afterall “the coolest”

[@Pssst.ByTheWay]

@@thepaladxn brav … maybe cause i have similar experience but your story hits deep. Especially since without reading your story my answer satusfies a lot of what you said too. I wanna ask if you are ok? ( I suspect , i know the answer though. ) Are you ok? As for the story, Knowing the problem is a big step Being able to vocalise it also I suspect you are on a positive pointing path 💪💪💪

[@WGPhil-uw5cs]

Feminism is the reason for the broken men we have today.

[@kriterer]

I remember being a downtrodden, submissive little boy, and I totally see how someone could spin that pain into a facade of value through "masculinity," but at the same time I can look back on where I've come since, and at every turn I know I've been benefitted by avoiding the desire to appear "masculine." So I feel conflicted because I feel sadness for all of these men that have essentially been led to objectify themselves, but I also feel indignance at the negative effects they have on the world, the people around me, and me, especially knowing that it's possible not to fall into the manosphere pipeline. Especially now with the ubiquity of the internet, it's more of a choice whether or not you fall into the pipeline. I've known several people who understood the purposeful transgressiveness of the male creators they watched, but the security they felt from it overshadowed the slight discomfort they felt. There are two ways this can go: either the individual needs the manosphere less as a crutch and consequently leaves the community because of that underlying discomfort, or they slowly become desensitized to the misogyny, homophobia, classism, and often racism which accompanies all of the media they watch, and then for the foreseeable future they are an active member of the manosphere.

[@kriterer]

I feel so much more conflicted, though, because I know that in many ways I had a low risk of ever being hypermasculine, despite often feeling cast aside as a child, especially from my mom due to severe postpartum depression. Like, despite the various issues with my mom that were massive risk factors, I feel that almost all of my life has been quite anti-masculine. My dad has always tried to avoid masculinity for the sake of masculinity, and I think this helped me get past some of my other issues at home. At school, I was always a little feminine-presenting since pre-school, and though I did encounter issues from this, it was hard for me to take sadness about that and turn it into masculinity when it felt like that was part of what was harming me. In the end, I think I have many "masculine" traits, like a lack of emotional vulnerability, a skewed sense of value that values my work over myself, and an unfortunate propensity to want to be right, but at the same time, I can hold these traits while being outside of the manosphere, and thus I get support in my fight to improve myself in those areas.

[@JulianSteve]

@@kriterer Thank you so much for sharing your story. I resonated with a few of the things you said. I hope everything is going good with your identity and who you lookout for advice. Whether online or in person🙌🏾😁‼️

[@dithaingampanmei]

Your journey mirrors mine. But the interesting thing: I never "left" the manosphere. I just slowly stopped watching it because I got everything I needed. The video and the comments here seem to be operating with a different definition of the manosphere from I know it to be. The racist, misogynist and transphobic association with the manosphere d9esnt make much sense to me. Because I never saw any of that where I roamed. My first impulse was to defend it, of course. It's a huge allegation. But now that I think about it, since the definitions are different, I wouldn't even be defending the same thing that I know as my manosphere. If anyone is interested, I can answer or breakdown the different mindsets I've gained from my manosphere. That might give you a perspective outside your bubble of knowledge.

[@Ingydar_]

@@dithaingampanmei yess please do share. I think a lot of constructive perspectives is something we need under this video

[@miss_chelles1338]

Wow. This was a word. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@MariaPedersen-mq5hk]

I love the way The Northman actually did have a queer or at least clearly gender non-conforming character, but it flew way over people's heads. The shaman character was played by a male actor, but this role in society was usually strictly for women ("seidr" magic was considered a woman's art and was a gift of the goddess Freyja). What's more, the actor was completely dressed in traditional women's clothing!

[@Peregrina]

Yeah. Funny thing is that magic was considered something feminine but Odin learned magic from Freja and Loki occasionally borrowed different animal forms. Fascists seem to forget these things. Not to mentioned the myth were Thor dressed up as Freja on the quest to get back his hammer and Loki gladly dressed up as well. Norse mythology is actually very very lbt+ themed.

[@fionafiona1146]

​@@Peregrinasame as most other religions pantheon. The stories about minority people in Greek, Indian, Japanese or Aztec mythology might have been important in developing continous context rather than making every generation/family figure out stuff on their own

[@AmaraReyal]

OMG once you said Aba n preach i screamed. I'm so happy someone actually Sees it

[@Euphoryaaa]

Same. Almost every man around me looks up to them and don’t see the issues.

[@MissMaeww]

Saaaaame! SO pleased they got a mention. They're ao popularity but a lot of their content makes me uncomfortable.

[@DeannaJacksonDJsDelectables]

Yes! They have some good takes, but they got a LOT of problematic takes!

[@PinkMetalHead]

@@DeannaJacksonDJsDelectables How is a take "problematic". That implies that your take is inherently correct, which is extremely narcisstic. Just because someone has a difference in opinion doesn't make it "right" or "wrong"

[@Jesterisim]

@@PinkMetalHead some things are just objectively wrong, not that hard to understand.

[@avrilduck8326]

My daughter (we're in Astralia) got sucked into the manosphere! Through a boyfriend who was into it deep. It affected us all. She's out now!!

[@alarcon99]

Oof. As a mother I feel that. Must’ve been scary. So glad she’s out

[@kenclarke5966]

Men are terrifying aren't we?

[@angie8668]

I'm 20 yo and I honestly have taken a lot of comfort in the teaching of Kevin Samuel. In a world full of Hot girls and f boys it made me feel like I wasn't stupid or naive for wanting to have my future husband and the upbringing of our children as my priority, instead of my financial success. I really liked how he shined a light on how low the marriage rate for black women actually was, and looking at my family full of struggling women and children, I really felt like his teaching was a positive push in the right direction and I felt hopeful not just for my future children but for my nephews who don’t have many male figures in their life , that the issues that they might face are being brought to light, so they might have a voice. But now after KS’s death, I’m seeing all the distaste for him and ppl like him and it hurts me , because I don’t want to be a part of the problem and if the manosphere is so bad and it’s all playing into some agenda , then I wanna get away too. I just wish that someone could help me understand how something that has brought me so much , could really be so bad . It's all making me feel almost as if I’ve been violated or brainwashed in some way. My dad always told to be a leader, and I thought I was, but from where everyone else is standing, I'm lining up to give my fleece . And it just doesn’t sit right with me … .

[@fateems7547]

@@angie8668 I am a 23 yo Female and while I dont like Kevin Samuels or agree with any of the degrading stuff he said about women, I can understand where you are coming from. As someone who is leftist I think one of our biggest issues can be remembering, at least for me, that feminism is about empowering us and giving us the opportunity and ability to choose how we live and what we want to do. For me that is giving me the chance to choose to get an education and get a career, but for other women it could be the opposite, being a housewife and raising children. Just because you may not want a career, and you would prefer to be a house wife and raise kids does not make you a bad person or less of a feminist. The whole point is that you get to decide and choose for yourself, without the restriction of our patriarchal society forcing you to be one thing. Understandably, many women are tired of being forced to stay at home and just raise kids, which is why there is such a huge push back when misogynists sit and tell women their place is in the kitchen raising their kids. However, if that is what you want then its completely ok! You can be a stay at home mom and still be feminist (its not mutually exclusive!) and not automatically be a brainwashed sheep.

[@fateems7547]

@@angie8668 Also I know the term feminist can immediately make people upset and turned off from what I am saying, but in the simplest form and words, I genuinely believe that being a feminist means supporting and doing the best for yourself, as well as supporting everyone (men included) to be their best by not allowing this society to force us into boxes that leave us feeling miserable and so sad if that makes sense. We are all individuals that are unique in our experiences and what we want in life, so many of us will not fall in line with the rigid box of masculinity and femininity, but that doesn't mean we are bad people, we are all just trying to find our place in the world so I think it is important to be understanding and kind to one another. I hope that makes sense I feel like I didn't articulate myself well in describing what being a feminist means to me, but I just hate that many extreme people ruined the word and I dont want to make you feel like I am insinuating that you should coin yourself as one. Its clear to me that you are lost and trying to find your sense of self, and I hope my words were even the tiniest bit helpful. Sending you lots of love ❤

[@sandrahollett2299]

I’m glad you covered Aba and Preach. I used to be a fan of them, but I had to leave when I saw them deliberately ignoring empathetic points and specifically turning up the rage factor. It was getting untruthful. Glad to hear they’ve taken a step back

[@SopHiZzl3]

💯

[@corneliahanimann2173]

Same for me, I initially liked them and thought it's good to have 2 black men discuss societal issues, but while I think a lot of what Aba and Preach say is excuseable, their comment section does not share the balanced mindset and is full of incels.

[@ruebascu]

@@corneliahanimann2173 Every man that expresses his frustrations with dating women isn't an incel. Every wmn is not a good person. There's shitty people in the world, men have feelings, and there's nothing wrong with them expressing them in their own way

[@corneliahanimann2173]

@@ruebascu I don't know where I said that. Incels are incels, men expressing their emotions are just men. Would you agree with that, or do you think I get something wrong?

[@purplekitty4026]

@@corneliahanimann2173 I noticed it too about their comment section

[@elatumnukra]

I hate that it took me 2yrs to see this. Brother, I thank you...this was by FAR the best video I have seen in a long time.

[@danikriatura7671]

FAM!!!! Everything you said in your final thoughts is a whole-ass sermon and manifesto. So true, so relatable, so profoundly relevant, so deeply necessary of being said and blasted from the rooftops. Much love and respect always

[@jamiemcquarrie2482]

As a therapist running group discussions, where this topic comes up, thank you! I'm going to start referring this video (and the previous one) to my clients.

[@terrystevens3998]

As a mom of 2 teenage boys I will also be recommending these videos.

[@JulianSteve]

Great idea, Jamie👏🏾‼️

[@monstercameron]

you'll be doing them a disservice

[@terrystevens3998]

@@monstercameron are you a therapist?

[@Sabrinaaa36]

amazing 🥰

[@AR-md1zq]

This series has been awesome! I was relaying some of the concepts you talk about to my cis-gender hetero male friend and he really was identifying with it and actually asked me to share the video. I feel like when I try to say these things from my perspective and experience as a woman many men feel like they are being personally attacked which is not my intention I am just expressing my frustration over something that deeply affects me and other women that I have no control over. Your voice is very important here and hopefully will lead to more of our voices being heard and not just reacted to.

[@animatorgeek]

I LOVE that you identified this area that's lacking and you're trying to do something about it. Boys and young men need positive examples of healthy masculinity in online media. Thank you for lending your voice to this important area.

[@kiddokta]

You've had such a profound educational impact on me and many others. I really appreciate the time and energy you put into your videos! You're an amazing teacher and I hope you realize that.

[@calebgregory1105]

Yo. As a Black Male who aligns with many of your ideas and also watches anime. I was of the camp of not thinking the ending of AOT was that problematic. Especially, since I understood that Eren was the antagonist, his reasoning were bull and he had to die. However you connecting the manifestos of so many mass shooters to Eren edgelord reasoning for the rumbling really opened my eyes. A really solid take, sir.

[@subbinbacktoallsubbs5272]

Eren is not a hero, he is the embodiment of the point of no return.

[@tilltronje1623]

You might want to look into the reasoning Nazi soldiers gave for killing jewish civilians in masses. What they said to justify their atrocities is almost repeated 1 to 1 by the people defending Eren. Not just repeated in spirit but actually word for word. It is horrifying

[@hydreigon2709]

The author is not responsible for the conclusions people make about his story. Hes not responsible for dumb people not understanding his intentions. AOT ending is not problematic.

[@calebgregory1105]

​@@hydreigon2709 I disagree. I think its clear based on the motivation of characters and conclusion of the story we can speculate where his intent was. unfortunately evidence seems to be pointed towards a fascist ideology. I think its harder to wrestle with a piece of media that one identifies with being of that nature. It is an uncomfortable feeing that I am dealing with myself

[@karappathekappa7792]

@@calebgregory1105 But the the story concludes with Paradis being destroyed because of the crimes commited by Eren. Eren's intentions are wrong, thats why last arc oposes him to his friend and humanity in general.

[@zacharybutler5944]

So my dad's an MRA, one of my paternal uncles is an outright fascist, and the other one is just a standard "both sides" centrist. My mom's an out-and-out diehard feminist and also not that great of a parent, so when I moved in with my dad, his parents, and my uncles in high school I got immersed right into that sort of toxic mess. Listening to the early 2000s proto-manosphere and angry atheist community almost radicalized me on their side for a while. A friend of mine decided I was worth saving and basically talked me out of it by explaining how fucked up all those views were. I won't ever stop being grateful they decided I was worth the effort. Keep up the good work, FD. If this sort of stuff was around when I was that age, I wouldn't have needed to burn through several friends until I found the one who was willing to risk themselves enough to be patient for me. This will change lives for the better. Edit: Also, sweet shirt. If by some amazing chance you haven't tried it yet, the Garrus romance is fucking amazing.

[@CapnNapalm]

I had a similar situation, but my friends never left despite my behavior. I’m thankful for them everyday and I wonder if they knew how bad I was. Watching videos like this is both scary and cathartic and I hope it keeps me on the path to being a good person

[@WhistleAndSnap]

Garrus is best boi

[@KCH55]

That was an quite a life you've lived. That was a very dramatic difference between your dad and your mom like literal night and day.

[@user-zp4ge3yp2o]

This is why the left twitter attitude of just dropping any acquaintances you disagree with is infuriating, best way to help change someone's mind is by listening and showing empathy.

[@xXprettyxkittyXx]

Seeing all these comments have been really interesting. The thing about MRA’s is that there’s so many things they reach the point on but completely miss. This world definitely harms little boys just as much as it does little girls. They just refuse to acknowledge it’s BECAUSE society is so patriarchal.

[@fishh3ad]

The ending of this video is perfect! I'm nonbinary afab person who presents feminine and have had to work through A LOT of my own toxic masculinity. As i remove the toxicity its made me question my gender, wonder if maybe I'm fully a woman after all, but this helped me pin point the problem. Masculinity without the toxicity is something I've never seen or experienced externally before and not having any references has left me alienated from that part of myself and unable to recognize it internally. I don't have the experience of being seen and treated as male so i feel my experience of masculinity is invalid. I rely heavily on my femininity to navigate socially and struggle with feeling incomplete and unseen. I can't wait for you men and the rest of us who experience some degree of masculinity to move into healthy expression of that! There's alot of toxic shit to unlearn, but if what i experience internally as healthy masculinity is actually healthy masculinity for men too then its kinda bad ass and i love it! Good luck men and peopel with masculinity 🧡

[@rain_drops2723]

I completely agree with u. I’m afab but I been questioning my gender a lot and been feeling so uncomfortable in my body. However when I try to step out into a masc version of myself I feel like a mockery. There is such a small forced box of masculinity that you would always feel incomplete. I literally see men who are naturally emotional or something suppress those traits to fit into that box. When you have such a small window, people who feel/want to be seen in that light would always feel like they’re never enough. So they lash out at fem people cuz if you contrast lthe fem presentations, you would always feel/look more masc. Very toxic mindset 😭

[@mandarinduck]

The bit about Asian spree shooters makes sense to me. All the frustrations aggrieved white males feel is potentially magnified in Asian American males because while white males feel edged out by an ever progressing society, Asian men have been actively excluded from the table regarding things like viability as romantic interests. From stereotypes about penis size to how rarely you see Asian romantic leads in Hollywood movies. The conversation about it is difficult because yes, there is racism in media, Hollywood and society at large, but the resulting bitterness can cause actual discussions to get real toxic, real fast and lead to some pretty misogynistic attitudes.

[@NoTengoIdeaGuey]

Im white so obvi not the authority on this experience, but I imagine there's also a higher-than-average chunk of young Asian men saddled with a huge pressure to succeed by their immigrant parents, at least relative to other demographics. White dudes get pressured by their families too, but I imagine it leans more toward a kind of broad, societal kind of pressure; whereas 1st gen Asian kids get all that *plus* the weight of their parents hopes and dreams on their shoulders to boot. Shit is wack.

[@kevinalamo4250]

I'm not of Asian descent, but I absolutely feel as though the trials and tribulations faced by Asian-Americans are largely minimized (or even unaddressed entirely).

[@benjdelphi]

Loved the video, I will say that one of the lessons I learned is that "Tough" is actualy good advice. When stuck in a system that is demonstrably unfair accepting that and moving forward is solid advice. Because just cause it ain't right doesn't mean it isn't what it is. Where this falls flat for me is all the guys who then turn around and be like, well "what it is" is okay you just have to push through. It can be both, I can act to survive what it is but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be pushing to change it. The goal is that the next generation isn't going to have to be hard, because what it is going to be is better.

[@Jalanadon]

Yes to all of this! A lot of older generations will complain about how "weak" the younger generations are, when in fact we've seen some serious stuff happen. I'm trying to make this world a better place for my son, not try to make it more difficult for him to survive so he can "man him up".

[@Nassifeh]

There's a kind of "acceptance" that isn't just rolling over. You have to look specifically for what actions you can take and then go take those, and avoid ruminating if there is literally no action that can be taken right now. Mentally fighting the fight a thousand times--or having every argument on Twitter until 2am--does you *and society* less good than going and getting a decent night's sleep and putting yourself in a better place to do something tomorrow, if there's nothing you can do this moment.

[@ndrmartin2416]

It kind of makes me think of Taoism, in that there is an acceptance of the nature of people in a system, while also trying to change the system.

[@jbmp1390]

FACTS

[@TubeTAG]

@@Nassifeh > than going and getting a decent night’s sleep I’m in this comment, right now, and I don’t like it.

[@Sleeepy.]

“I’m not asking those of us with the most to lose to carrying the further burden of fixing men. I’m asking for your support and patience in allowing me and other men to do that for ourselves.” Maybe the most important line through the video in my opinion. Being a cis man surrounding himself in predominately queer spaces, I hear the grievances being made by my friends of marginalized genders, speaking on the issues of men, and I obviously never felt personally attacked by it, but after hearing it so often, it kind of hits you like a guilt of sorts. I identify heavily with Foreign Man in a Foreign Land in wondering weather I should present less masculine, as masculinity is given increasingly negative connotations. I don’t need to be given the benefit of the doubt, I just want the opportunity to prove myself.

[@katiesill1212]

I think one of the most powerful things a more masc man can do to support marginalized folk is to just be their authentic self while showing marginalized folk support and respect. As a mostly-cis white woman with good intentions (intentional irony there), it took me a long time to learn to listen instead of speak over other folk around me. I'll probably be learning that lesson for the rest of my life, but in my experience being the whitest white person in the room isn't in itself the problem, if I can just get out of my head and trust that the other people around me are the experts in their own experience. There is a wave of anti-masc sentiment right now in some circles pretending to be feminist or pro-lgbtq (TERFs, for example), but you can't be a true feminist while demonizing a specific gender. It's just another way we are tricked into fighting with each other rather than uniting to fight oppression.

[@HiroStoneIkhor]

Amazing. This is literally the cultivation of deep study and research to assist us in ending this chaos and fixing the problem once and for all. Keep it up

[@thats4thebirds]

I’ll never forget the final chapter panel of Eren Yeager crying in a puddle saying he wishes his not girlfriend would only love him forever and be alone till she dies. Truly a Manosphere icon. Fridged his own mom to motivate himself. Comfortable with genocide. Wants the only girl who cares about him to die alone. Really checking all the chad boxes.

[@imanigordon6803]

Eren is the genocidal giga chad 🤦🏾‍♂️

[@FaiaHalo]

And how MAD the manosphere dudes were at seeing his ultra masculine giga chad illusion of Eren being turned to dust lol

[@thats4thebirds]

@@FaiaHalo absolutely loved it. Still eating on it lmao

[@dionjones6300]

While I enjoyed seeing Eren defeat his enemies his removal from the story was a good marker pointing put his decent into villainy. You can have a desire to see revenge carried while possessing the empathy to understand that genocide is wrong. He is an Anti villain at best, but certainly not a hero, nor a person worth emulating. Leave your revenge fantasy as a fantasy lol

[@HiBuddyyyyyy]

An analysis explained that S4 edgy Eren is basically a front and he’s still the same Eren because he didn’t really grow as a person. I mean, does fit the Mano sphere mentality a lot.

[@tylerscott8015]

As someone who transition from female to male about 8 years ago now I've always found it very difficult to relate to and engage with other young white men on these very topics. Discussions about oppression in queer/feminine spaces feel much more tangible and grounded in reality, "my boss treats me differently from everyone else and my coworkers have noticed too" "this regular customer won't stop touching me and flirting while I'm at work and it's super uncomfortable" "I've had to fight for months to get the healthcare I need because legal documents are not being changed" "I physically can't go to these countries/regions because they have a long history of killing or imprisoning people like me" "coming out has lost me my family and my job and I have to chose between going back into the closet or becoming homeless" "I AM homeless and none of the shelters in my area will take me in" and so on. Coming from that world and then talking to men who's biggest problems seem to be feeling lonely, or not understanding why they can't get/keep a girlfriend, or how they might potentially be passed up for an opportunity because of affirmative action or immigration, feeling like the world is beginning to work against them, feeling like they aren't making enough money and reaching enough self-imposed milestones... It's really no wonder "the left" struggle to take those issues seriously, especially when many of those same men will accuse us of simply having hurt feelings and nothing more. On multiple occasions now cis men have complained to me about trans people, using degrading slurs right to my face, not realizing the entire time that they're speaking with a trans person. Their biggest complaints are that we exist, and that they have to see and hear about us. I have no idea how to counter that without outing myself to someone who could potentially do me harm. Which is why I'm trying to get more perspective. I am sympathetic. Believe it or not dating is difficult for trans guys too, we often have a much harder time meeting expectations of masculinity. Depression and mental health are huge problems that men especially need to address in their communities. The entire world is changing, everyone on earth is adapting to something new right now. But it's hard to maintain that sympathy when these guys start blaming everyone else, and pushing harmful idealogies and agendas that make it to the supreme court, and reminiscing about "the good old days" when women had little-to-no autonomy and queer people hid themselves for fear of prosecution. When people start talking that way I have very little faith that they would hear anything I'd have to say, especially if it went against their already self-affirming world view. Apparently, american men only found out a couple years ago what a pronoun was and already there is anti-trans legislation sweeping through the south, including proposals to seperate trans children from loving and accepting homes. I've heard men whine about losing their freedom of speech to cancel culture while book bans in public schools are specifically targeting queer people in an attempt to erase our existence and treat it as a dirty taboo. Today millions of people just lost their right to a safe abortion. I have no idea how to reason with somebody who sees their own insecurities as something equal to or even greater than the oppression minorities are facing right now. As much as I would love to be a role model and someone safe to talk to, something which I have happily done for other trans men and questioning members in my community, it is HARD to do that for someone who already hates you and doesn't know why, as much as I recognise that it's something that needs doing...

[@itsdonuttime7729]

Your concerns are absolutely real and I totally agree that you don't have to put yourself in danger to educate fascist bigots. You are allowed to navigate this in a way that makes sense for you.

[@Makyura43]

I will try to explain. Classical masculinity is in essence aggressive competition where victors get everything and losers get nothing. Most men will engage willingly with that framework in hopes to reap benefits once they climb ranks of patriarchy. But when they fail there is no one to blame but themselves and that is what makes it soul crushing. Than they will construct external reasons for their failure and shift blame on them to escape that pain. That is source of irrational hate. In the past patriarchy was set in a way that most men will get something out of it while at the same time limiting winners not to take everything. Ironically as those system limits are eroding away things shifted to a more pure form of classical masculinity - victors get everything and losers get nothing deal. That is why many men fight against those changes. Stay away from toxic losers. Their insecurities are product of personal failure there is no cure for that.

[@christianlima987]

@@Makyura43 only 40% of men throughout have reproduced vs 99% of women. And tinder studies have shown 80% of the women swipe on 20% of men. I would like if a feminist would explain without dog whistles. Explain why do you think men do aggressive competition? And why is that bad?

[@christianlima987]

The idea that a female thinks they know or can tell males how to be better men its not even funny. This is why most people are anti trans no respect enough to know this isn’t your fight. If you fetishized masculinity so much don’t go around trying to change men because we aren’t female enough. Keep your male self-hate feminism put into you to yourself.

[@MK_ULTRA420]

"I AM homeless and none of the shelters in my area will take me in" Okay, and? I thought you wanted to be a man.

[@brewforce3036]

I know this is somewhat off topic but 15:29 hit pretty hard. When I was a teenager I believed so much in trying to fit that masculine mold that I decided the military was my route. I was warned over and over again by family friends who spent substantial time in the middle east. I blew them off because I thought I knew best, and it wasn't until I was holding a gun to someone that I realized that the entire time I was just a bullheaded idiot. Now I try to echo their message (they are all dead now due to PTSD/Alcoholism/Suicide) in hopes that the "been there done that" insight can help someone stay away.

[@josephmorales652]

I’m sorry to hear what you have gone through.

[@MTBotShot]

Some people can only internalize the lesson after experiencing things first hand. Unfortunately some experiences can be lethal or crippling.

[@doraneal5265]

Love the video, thank you for taking the time to make it! It's crucial for your voice to be heard 💯

[@pgyws5137]

I usually only view content from fem creators. I do this in order to shield myself from covert misogynists but I am so glad I found you. Having a wide range of perspectives can be hard in a world where people are often polarizing and sometimes outright hateful when addressing anything that they are not comfortable with. It can be very hard to find men's content that is not insidiously misogynistic- and therefor emotionally damaging for me to consume. I struggle with this fact because while I want to preserve my mental health I also need to hear perspectives from all demographics including men. Thank you FD signifier. So far your videos have been exceptional and I hope to see more great content from you in the future.

[@kenny6499]

genuine question, do you recognize that you bahavior is exactly like thoses men? Listening only to people able to understand them and theirs struggles?

[@jadecoolness101]

@@kenny6499 Not listening to misogynists because they are actively harmful is not the same thing as men refusing to listen to women because "she's a woman"

[@kenny6499]

@@jadecoolness101 dude, thats logic is basically the left ideology in a nuttshell, lets censure or stop any conversation that i dont have a hold on or disagree on

[@kenny6499]

@@jadecoolness101 Ok, lets pretends, we use your own logic, did you called the feministe movement for having a women telling women to kill baby male foetus in their uterus?

[@kenny6499]

@@jadecoolness101 by your own string of logic you would not support feminist fu to their action, but u support it, knowing that u can disagree with some feminist

[@terrylovesyogurt5983]

Thank you F.D, everyone should watch this series. So proud of you and how big your channel has gotten! I teach sex ed to kids 10-17 and it's very apparent how scared and insecure young boys are. I get asked about pen*s size in every single one of my classes, and how to talk to girls. Not only do we need to teach boys to not perpetuate harm, we also need to teach them how to love themselves as they are, and how to actively love others as they are. Thank you for articulating this incredibly dense and complex topic into something digestible.

[@beneckert9606]

You're analysis of this phenomenon is excellent. I've only recently begun to understand just how much the hegemony of masculinity has acted subconsciously to negatively effect my life and self esteem. I have just about every risk factor to have been sucked into the manosphere. Im a very average looking autistic lower middle class straight white male. I grew up being relentlessly bullied by my older brother and his friends and it was always centered on me being "a little girl" a "little bitch" or "pussy" and my parents would say dont be a tattle tale or to grow up, I was very delayed developing and didn't talk until 5 and wasn't potty trained until 7, I started school late and though older then my classmates I was less developed and the same bullying and teasing at my expense I knew from my brother continued by my classmates. In high school my early attempts to ask girls out were always rejected and often humiliatingly public rejection before I gave up all together and fell fast and hard into drugs and alcohol. In 9th grade when I first smoked pot and was on high honor roll, by 11th grade I was skipping school to go buy heroin and was shooting up in the bathroom between classes. At the time I didn't understand I was trying to numb the pain of social rejection. The only thing that kept me from falling into the manosphere completely is my deep dive into the radical left and anarchism in my early 20s. Understanding the consequences of capitalism and more generally of inequality and unjust hierarchies forced me to think deeper into the things I was hearing said by guys like Jordan Peterson that on the surface sounded logical and correct. Anyways thank you for the upload binging on all your content now.

[@bopeybef]

you stay strong bro, it's crazy that you been through all that and you still alive, much less positive at all. I think if you've made it thru all that you got a strong ass mentality to survive and will ultimately make it. just remember it ain't you versus the world, it's you vs you. just my take, it was a realization I had as well that helped me

[@theovanhurtere]

I was also traumatized by an older simbling. Though a different kind of trauma from yours, it also sent me on a path to addiction from my early teens to mid 20s. I was sinking fast when COVID hit so I decided to just lock myself up at home and will myself into sobriety. I was fucking tired of living like an addict. You would know. It's been two years and seven days since the last time I snorted coke. I'm glad you have found your way, Ben, keep strong.

[@Sarah-re7cg]

Hi, I just came across your comment and I wanted to wish you the best on your journey and you’re not alone.

[@TheWrxrally]

Can't believe it took me this long to find your channel. Your description of conservative media utlizing othering is a theory I've held onto for a long time and you put it into a very digestible and succinct point. Keep fighting the good fight my guy.

[@joseangelsanchezgomez3925]

As a fan of Attack on Titan, I personally see the first seasons as laying down the basis for the fascistic turn that Eren/Paradis take, and for the last season to show how all this fascism is wrong, and the trully heroic thing is to reject fascism, racism and fight against both. I think that is encapsulated in the stories of Gaby, Falco, Reiner, Hanji and specially Armin... I am a super big fan of Armin btw. But you are right. There is a lot of people that see this side of the story as "heart-warming gibberish" and root for Eren, which I find to be crazy concerning. For quite some time I would go to youtube and watch videos of people declaring themselves Yeagerists, and defending Eren's actions. I always found that to be super sad, and it would amaze me. I think you are right to say that, even if the story tries to "disavow"/"reject" the ideas of Eren, a lot of people still identify and support them. Which fking sucks.

[@JorgeFabrizio]

I have to agree with you. The basis for Eren's villainous turn was present in the first season. I think it's the same issue game if thrones had with Daenerys where the actions they were taking were obviously horrible but they had a heroic framing that the modern viewer would adopt just as easily. Both would have benefited from a neutral portrayal but there's few with the talent to pull that off. They must have a hero to cheer for.

[@nelsonstewart5999]

The story does not disavow Eren lmao. The entire story supports his decision lmao. The entire point he did the Rumbling was so his friends could live long lives and he succeeds completely. He dies a painless death with a kiss and a caress from his lover after spending his last years in a paradise with her in PATHs. His friends cry for him and thank him, and everything goes his way. Just because he gets a quick painless death, people think (Oh, he paid for his crimes!!!!) But Ramzi, meanwhile, gets the worst most horrific villain's death and no justice comes of it. None at all. A heroic death, a heroic epilogue, for essentially his world's version of Hitler. FD is right in saying that Isayama is concerningly fascist and it shows in how Eren is depicted so positively in the epilogue. The story literally ends with the words "Thank you Eren." If you start backpedaling saying "Hey, Eren died, that means he suffered for his crimes." You have to think that he would have to die millions of times to even come close to suffering enough for what he did. Eren died as if he was a tragic hero, that's the death he got. Flowers on a grave, tears from his friends, thank you after thank you. He is reincarnated metaphorically as a damn bird, a symbol of peace, as if the world was fixed through his actions...

[@adoniscreed4031]

I dont root for Eren but I could see myself doing what he did... that's because I put myself on his shoes, he is in a much more extreme situation compared to a modern man's internal agnst... Attack On Titan is really about the cicle of hatred resulting in non-stop war and Eren is the extreme result of this cicle. Its not meant to be applicable to modern life apart from what it teaches us about war...

[@SkunkfapGaming]

I kept wanting to root for eren in S4 considering I've been doing that up until then but the further I got into the final season the more I realized that eren kinda fell off

[@syasyaishavingfun]

You don't understand, we support Eren not because we are racist or nationalist or fascist. If we are the inhabitant of his world we are probably impure infidel in his eyes and should die. We support him precisely because we have no stake in his world - we just want to see his plan come to fruition. We want the protagonist to achieve his goal, whatever it is whether to fine the One Piece, become Hokage, or destroy the world. I am not really mad with the author, the path he took is still interesting enough. But a lot of others are just mad cos the protagonist didn't achieve his goal. It's the pain of watching Guts never avenging his friends or Gon never finding his dad.

[@jomorton9897]

Your analysis of centrists or liberals is just spot on! It's not that they don't care at all, they just don't wanna look that deep and see all the ways they've been complicit. They are scared of institutional analysis because of their own guilt about upholding the status quo. If they know too much, they will feel the need to change things, but they don't want to change things; so they reject it. There's a fear of the unknown, and an unwillingness to discover it. (Interestingly my mom is this exactly, she will say okay that's a problem, but what do you want to do about it? Then immediately plays victim and is affronted that I might suggest something that might affect her life. Like abolishing private property, or making it illegal to hold more than 5 properties, etc. is a threat to her real estate business... )

[@fideletamo4292]

Bro, abolishing property? That's too far gone..

[@goste4]

@@fideletamo4292 there’s a difference between private property and personal property

[@majeedmamah7457]

Yh, those are shit suggestions.

[@marcelosantaana871]

Just wanted to say, I'm an Aba and preach fan, and although this didn't necesarily change my mind completly because as you said sometimes their good at calling out some bullshit. But you really made me think about the way they present some of these issues and the way they engage with sensitive topics. I'm defenitley gonna be thinking more critically when I engage with their content. Also just wanted to compliment how good this video was, I always love your videos but this was super good, wether it was the editing or the writing this was truly one of the best video essays I've seen on youtube.

[@YourMoonJoy]

Please especially do research on their "facts" so many times they have literally spread misinformation that has been debunked. This is especially when it pertains to feminism, women's issues and queer/trans issues. The amount of times they literally misrepresent points that have been heavily discussed but they seem to have the Fox news cliff notes version of it.

[@MayorOfEarth79]

I always think you gotta think about how someone is framing something they disagree with. And it's hard to trust people's whose only view of that issue is to own or defeat or embarrass their opponent rather than explore why the issue may be wrong.

[@jaccl4539]

I disagree but I get what your saying this channel makes , creates , and propagates the same issues that channels does but for a different audience. Everyone has there own frame and with that value system which has its own consequences and benefits. By our own terms were creating , looking , and demanding better outcomes for minority groups at the cost of the majority - we use words to make it morally correct , righteous or simply just which is counter to the dominant society. There is still consequences and harm there we simply dont care because we feel justified in our actions. There is nothing different there.

[@avgriffin]

i feel similar. I really hate tho how theu do thumbnails etc and the obsession with Trans issues in a very wack way imo but more than happy to see them grow out from that stuff. overall they are great comedians but also role models to young men . including me

[@jessicayoung3656]

One of the biggest criticism I have of aba and preach, and as a fan myself is that they are very narrow minded in seeing things pertaining to their individualism and their specific demographic. You will generally not get a nuanced view - seeking understanding of feminism, of trans issues.

[@JMDread]

I’m so glad I found your channel. I really needed it. I was starting to feel like I didn’t have a place on the left, that we had suffered some real brain drain and were ceding so much to the right. Thanks for all you do!

[@russianbot8576]

when i identified more clearly as a trans man, the hostility towards men in leftist spaces ('kill all men' rhetoric) ate at me until the point i got so frustrated that i had to snap into the space i was in. it then prompted nearly every cis guy to PM me _thanking me_ because although everyone understood the venting as justifiable, no one felt comfortable saying 'hey, can we calm it down?'. my reaction was met with some hostility initially, but in the end it went over well, but notably, it likely only made any impact because i was trans and well, i don't think that should be so. i think it's important that we remember that masculinity also needs to be handled and it's incredibly hard to do. masculinity often gets handled as a negative thing to analyse from outside, but it means that masculine folks are unable to unpack their own situation without the conflicting ideas in the way. there is no space. and that's a shame, because it also means that enbies and feminine folks also have less room to take that information, and see how it affects us and our ideals or values too, for better or worse. it's important to address, and men ought be the centre of their own fight just as much as any other group should be the prime voice of their struggles. i'm non-binary these days but i still feel the need for this message for sure, because it is long unaddressed.

[@Ariel51_artist]

Honestly i want to thank you now for even voicing this. As a cishet dude in leftist spaces the man hate can get too much, but obviously I’m not gunna call it out since…well it’s justified. Fem identifying people have alot of grievances to express with the world and that includes the patriarchy. However, i’ve always been partial to the idea that “if you’re in the room then you’re in the room.” Left leaning/safe spaces are rooms you have to actively seek out, if you’re in the room you are there for a reason. I see a few white folks in these spaces. And i give then the benefit of the doubt and assume they’re doing the work to unlearn. I think men should also be given this same empathy. If you’re in the room then you’re in the room.

[@afnanazmayen9089]

@@Ariel51_artist fantastically well said. we as cis dudes obviously cant deny that, well, fem folks have been done wrong by things like toxic masculinity, and any anger or whatnot that they feel... well, as you said, completely justified. the misandry still gets uncomfortable to hear after a certain point, and well, i think for all of us who are trying to unlearn and grow, its best to seek out, not just left leaning spaces, but inclusive left leaning spaces that allow us to grow in the best way possible. idk if i got my point across, but yeah, i agree with both of you

[@Graknorke]

I think related to that there's this feeling you get in "progressive" circles (mostly I've noticed it from cis women but not exclusively) that trans men aren't, like, REALLY men, you know? There's this kind of dichotomy where it's cis men on one side who are gross and bad, and then literally everyone else who is good and also basically just some variety of woman (it's awkward when they do this with nonbinary people also but it's maybe more obvious when they do it with trans men)

[@Ariel51_artist]

@@Graknorke i mean and this has just been my experience, but in the same way that any guy who is homophobic is also a misogynist, any woman who unironically says “all men are trash” is probably transphobic. Like you can express your grievances with the patriarchy, hell I promise most emotionally available dudes will commiserate with you. But the moment you start telling a whole group of people to simultaneously go fuck themselves and help us is when you start slipping into that JK Rowling side of things. Don’t forget these terfs still classify themselves as feminist, they care about women’s rights. I just notice that the way terfs begin is usually when they start alienating men and are unaware of how they’re hate affects trans-people who they either don’t see as real women or real men

[@JulyIzHere]

yes im leftist and i really dont care for men at all. in the slighest. i try to catch myself but it really gets hard.. especially as black woman.. the most hated demographic of woman. everytime i remind myself theres plenty of good men out there, there is 50 men ri remind me of the opposite, on a daily basis.

[@tari8134]

Thanks for suggesting We Real Cool by Bell Hooks. I'm reading it now, marking up important parts as I go, and I've got almost the whole book marked up. Great suggestion!

[@yserareborn]

Small thing, not a callout or anything, but bell hooks doesn’t capitalize the name.

[@HobittLuv411]

“Patriarchy is genderless” will be my slogan moving forward in all gender discussions. It not only validates the lived experience of different gender identities, it also makes room for everyone to (hopefully) share how patriarchy has affected them too. I will definitely be coming back to these last two videos. There’s so much great info

[@whyme7862]

@Mohlakala Tleane no sense at all! 😂

[@bryanfrosting]

The only enemy is the Devil. I proclaim myself Based.

[@christianlima987]

Matriarchies only lived in the woods in 30 people societies. Time to grow up

[@DrewThomas953]

Patriarchy *IS* gender-less but but it’s also highly racialized. In western hegemony, the Venn diagram of patriarchy and the system of white supremacy is nearly a perfect circle, which makes out-group (especially Black) males targets of patriarchy and not participants or beneficiaries. I’d say that in general, White women are more patriarchal than Black men. There is no Black patriarchy because there is no part of any system in a western hegemony that’s Black male-lead. White women have white husbands, fathers, & sons, and they all share interests. The real ruse of interesectional feminists like the guy making this video is presenting patriarchy as if it’s raceless and Black men are just temporarily embarrassed chocolate covered White men. It’s complete BS and there’s no data to support it, only vibes.

[@DrewThomas953]

@Mohlakala Tleane I added a second paragraph that should clear it up

[@Kaori163]

Thank you for making this and thank you for putting it out into the world. This is a topic that is not addressed at all, and I'm so happy to have found you and your content. You're the first person I found to be addressing these issues on a serious and constructive level. You are doing absolutely incredible work that is going to help so many people. I really hope that you do publish this paper one day (You mentioned it was part of your thesis research). Academia is not kind, nor is it accessible and the fact that you have put this out into the world, on a platform that can reach so many more people is truly a service to humanity. You've given me hope to see that people are striving to be more and to be better. And you're creating a space and providing tools for folks to learn. Thank you.

[@rudolphrictor5167]

Unbelievably good. Saying things I've been thinking to myself for the entirety of my life as a tall cishet white dude struggling to find a place between the clearly toxic heteronormative patriarchal stance and the preformatively self-weakening "over-the-top" leftist stance (I am a firm leftist, but can't deny some of the issues with a lack of strong masc representation and some of the outright patriarchally reinforcing attitudes towards men from leftists). This is some of the best content I've ever seen on this topic and it's fantastic that it's creating a call to action for better leadership and steps forward instead of basically talking about how shitty everything is and leaving it at that.

[@calicow]

One of the things I always appreciate about your videos is the nuance. It challenges me often, because so much of the time I react to these things emotionally--as I'm sure most people do. It's so easy to say "why would you extend sympathy to this group of privileged people who are just whining because they haven't figured out that their personality sucks?" That's a kneejerk, emotional response to the men who behave like they're entitled to things simply because they exist. But it's not the whole story, and I know rationally there are a lot of lost men and boys out there who need someone to listen to them and be honest with them without telling them to just suck it up because they're privileged.

[@millionshadesofdarkness2165]

Men are not privileged in the slightest.

[@FBvio]

I'm a long time Aba & Preach viewer, one of the lucky few to earn a 'pin of shame' The growing alienation I've felt watching A&P's content over the years was summarised with "admirable and effective fashion" here, thank you for calling them out. All the validation I need

[@sugarwaterpurple5280]

You should maybe look into why you felt the need to have your opinions validated by a youtuber.

[@FBvio]

@@sugarwaterpurple5280 I'm good. Just a turn of a phrase

[@simonbell8957]

I'm curious what you wrote and what was the video

[@FBvio]

@@simonbell8957 something about cancel culture and simping for the right

[@mikeitkulof]

It was important for me to see your vids, FD. You are one another raindrop in a bucket, that can be the last drop needed for some. Keep on doing these, man. Cheers, and thank you.

[@dynogems]

As someone who was stuck in that same "sphere" for a while, I can speak to those still in the loop. Those men are trying to alienate you from your friends and family so they can sell you products. The 2yr stint I was in, I pretty much lost all by a handful of friends that knew I was going thru some shit and a job. It's not worth it yall. If you need a sign to leave here it is. GET THE FUCK OUT!!! I'll leave you with this to think over. I remember all the talking heads would agree on some points and one of those is "a man is not defined by anyone or any society." Well if that is true, how in the hell are these random guys on KZbin defining it for you? Who gave these men this power? Just because they make videos?

[@steff6146]

I’m glad you got out. This was so well put and you’re asking excellent questions b

[@ExeErdna]

Irony my dood because you can apply that to ANYBODY that makes social commentary. It isn't just Manosphere, It breadtube, feminism, any sort of radical political shitstain. It's ALL the same shit, self-imposed people telling others how to live. When really you're supposed to listen, understand, and make your own choice. The problem is not everybody can do all three. Hell, some can't even attempt all three.

[@vincentzhaiven4017]

Some people both young and more or less middle aged buy into too much and it becomes their personality, then they make it a toxic way of life. There's some good bits of advice amongst all of it but you need to know how to decipher the good from the bad. I struggled with it for a while myself but I woke up and once I pulled away I saw how crazy it all was. Now personally Abba and preach I think aren't as bad as some of the other social media figure heads out there that all preach all this crap on here.

[@DeathnoteBB]

@@ExeErdna You’re not disagreeing with them yet you sound combative

[@ExeErdna]

@@DeathnoteBB Does my tone really matter when I'm telling the truth?

[@COLORMIND.mp4]

this video feels like a perfect summation of the state of masculinity in 2022. IDK if it’s weird but I’m excited to live in a time where as a cis het black man, I really feel like i have the ability to mold what my baby cousins and nephews are going to going to think of when they imagine what a man is. And that hopefully it’ll match more closely to how they already see themselves. Thank you Fiq (for the shout out too 🙏🏾)

[@nyshyn307]

I feel the same. With everything happening it can at times feel like a scary task but still in a way that I feel excited about tackling

[@nyshyn307]

The entire "Where do we go from here?" section is a blessing. As Macabre described I'm concerned with the fact there's no alternative space that focuses on my grievances being a man and as you said earlier in the video women don't get us as much as they claim either, living exclusively with them for my entire life has done nothing if not show me that. I truthfully don't have any issues being myself, I express how I feel and don't feel like I have much if any insecurity tied to being a man, but it sucks that on the left in particular there's simply nowhere that feels inviting while I'm being told this is exactly where I should be. Hopefully something results from conversations like this but I'm truthfully not too optimistic

[@cyan_2169]

The solution to your problem is hanging out with LGBTQ people. Seriously. We're great friends and don't have the same hangups as straight people (assuming you're straight)

[@nyshyn307]

@@cyan_2169 that isn't a solution at all lol I'm already in association with many queer people. I'm amazing friends with a few bisexuals, men and women, and gay men individually but I'm not welcomed around their social groups for the same reasons I went into earlier. Being opinionated doesn't help, I'm not gonna sit around and just go with the flow of things I don't agree with

[@jayncoclassic]

​@@cyan_2169 haha not it. like at all.

[@botanicalitus4194]

i mean the left is dominated by maIe voices, so I dont really get why yall dont just make healthy communities for yourselves. There are a few here and there like menlib on reddit, but yall could always make more (or expand the ones that already exist to make them more popular)

[@nyshyn307]

@@botanicalitus4194 MensLib is also a good example but alternatives would be great, KZbin channels and just leftist creators that focus men in general. There are an abundance of the latter for women and enbies on the left but not many for men which is probably why so many default to the Redpill and conservative content creators to begin with

[@MiracleMomo]

So, the creator of Gundam, Yoshiyuki Tomino notably hated Attack on Titan from the start. He said it was a revenge fantasy manga that seemed like the author was bullied as a kid and wanted to lash out at society in dangerous ways. Everyone said Tomino was being silly, just jealous of its success and was punching down on a new creator, but somehow, he just saw the truth way before anyone else did. Furthermore, when I talked to Nazis, they said they hated Jordan Peterson, but noted he was useful as a starting rung to radicalize normies. So you are right on about that. Altogether, good videos. I'm really enjoying your take on things. You are really good at this.