Surprised Your Cat Doesn’t Like to Cuddle? Here’s What You Need to Know

[@glenzisko7974]

My cat never cuddles with me but he loves to lay next me and he’ll follow me around the house. I know he loves me and I love him that’s all that matters to us ❤️👍

[@anikrossignol8809]

Same 😊

[@tjfSIM]

Great comment 😊 I have a cat like that too - cuddles and being picked up aren’t his thing, but he’s a very affectionate chap in his own way. He likes being stroked and touches my arm with his paw when he wants attention. I do try to pick him up occasionally but he just wriggles free or climbs up onto my shoulders 😂 we have to let them be them and not take it personally.

[@glenzisko7974]

@@tjfSIMthanks their all different with their own unique personalities my brother has 3 2 of them are snuggle bunnies they absolutely love people even if they don’t know you they will be on your lap 😂 the other one keeps to himself but will let you know when he wants attention ❤

[@tjfSIM]

@ 😂I must admit if I was a cat I'd probably be more like that! You're right, we place so many expectations on them as pets and get offended or miffed if they don't want to show us affection, like they owe us in some way but if people want something to cuddle they should just get a teddy bear. Cats need space to be them.

[@tiffanyroseangeles34]

Top commenter is sounding like my Majestic Feline.😊😊❤❤❤mine is now 14 years old “ but we don’t use that word here! We live in a cold season currently …. My cat Pumpkin is sweet but I let her initiate her cuddles.she adores fuzzy blankies always was. I read every cat needs a break from all they need is love’ 💕 cuddles ) It can even irritate them a bit.My cat Pumpkin has arthritis and is on medicine. Plus theres moments she’s coming over to my camera on her own for picture day” Love our special moments as every day is a gift We found each other for a reason ! Saved each other

[@bikeman123]

My cat hated being picked up until I started a routine of picking him up everytime before I fed him. After a few weeks he came to accept the trade of a cuddle for food.

[@sandyheredia3027]

I’m going to try that lol😅

[@ChrisMarasP]

Now you are giving me this good idea.

[@hauntedbelle]

I did that with my cat but now he just runs faster to the kitchen. Like I'll reach down to get him and he'll bolt. But he does know when I grab him and carry him like that he is going to get fed.

[@lisadefries6718]

Funny I said after 😂 but basically keep those cuddling episodes short and sweet and be respectful of how one holds cat they need to be supported carefully and then put down gently

[@athena10867]

Same with mine. I do the same.

[@fredbraun5308]

Each cat has its own personality and desires, I have one who doesn't like being held but loves to lay against me all the time.

[@qa4057]

For those of us who have rescued animals from shelters, We don't have the luxury of knowing they weren't abused.

[@erikabee3498]

But it often shows, if they were abused. Four of my cats came to me, one was born here and another belonged to my deceased parents. The first 5 were no problem, they inmediatly seemed to know that this was their forever home. The last one too but it took me about 4 months before he accepted me... and never really did not really accepted my other cats. But there are no serious fights anymore.

[@DawnClephane]

Yeah I know. All my cat's have strays that have been dumped over the years. One of my babies, Kit Kat showed up on my property about seven years ago starving. It took years to win her trust, scared of other cats, wouldn't let me pet her or even close to her. It was about two years ago before she let me pet her, but only for a moment,before she'd shy away. Eventually she'd just lean against me, and knead like crazy. Finally last November I got her inside the house, she's not a cuddler but I don't mind. Poor baby been through hell and back and I respect that. She has her own room, bed, litter and food dish away from other cats. Giving her her own space with freedom to explore the house safely has transformed her personality. She'll give me headbutts and if I'm lying on the floor will snuggle but forget picking her up, she may never be a lap cat but she's living her best life right now.

[@TehFeelz243]

for those of you who saved those animals from shelters - a big thank you.. you are wonderful human beings💗💗💗

[@katsmeow6946]

I have one from the shelter. He’s 2 I just took him in because he wasn’t walking on one leg. He’s got arthritis both collarbones broken in half . They didn’t knit back together. The worst part though is what like wires shoved in his body. I knew he had a broken and healed tail. But oh my lord what kind of a person does that. He was just a little guy.

[@DawnClephane]

@@katsmeow6946 Poor baby! Why are people so evil! Thank God you came into his life and he's safe and loved now. It just tears me up, you're an angel!

[@erikabee3498]

The last cat that came to me liked my garden and my house, but he hated me and my other cats. I knew he must live in my neighbourhood, but did not know where. Then came the moment he dicided to stay here. Still me and my cats were not his friends. Giving him wet food opened him up a little, but still no petting allowed. My 3 other cats would fight him sometimes. But it was not until I would stand between him and my other cats, that he noticed that I was protecting him. Now he really opened up to me. Now I can pet him. But never on my lap, but nowadays he sleeps half on the matras and half on me. Another milestone. But still mostly not with his head towards my toe's. But I may pet him on his belly and above. Work in progress. Bet he is a friend now.

[@DeadGirl-oz3vl]

I had a 25 year old barn cat found on the streets that didn't let me pet her until the OG cats I had died of old age. Then she stayed out of the woods and slept on covered porch and cat house with a warmer. She was around 20 when she was the last one standing. She loved tamales and we would get her a baked chicken every week 😊 She was half Siamese. We got two more Siamese when she passed, but keep them indoors. Only the male talks his head off, his sister is quiet but deadly. She would definitely hunt if let out side. 😂

[@erikabee3498]

@@DeadGirl-oz3vl Even though it's sometimes is frustrating that some cats are difficult to handle... in the end it all is worth it, to give some effort. 😺

[@benbelzer8303]

I do everything I can to get my neighbors cat to let me pet her, but she won't even let the neighbors, who own her, do it. 😅 I keep trying though.

[@erikabee3498]

@@benbelzer8303 Your neighbours cat him/her self was bad treated or his/ her mother was badly treated by other humans. So the fear for humans can go on to new generations. I had a female kitten (about 4 months old) coming to me, I took her in. She inmediately trusted me. But still when the doorbel ringed or the telephone ringed... she inmediately hide under my bad. Later she had kittens. And yes most of them hided under my bed too. Following their mother. But if you really want to pet a cat... just don't try to. Be relaxed, you can give her some food (wet. dry of catnaps... but not approach her/ him. Give them their time to approach you. And even when they aproach you, don't make sudden moves, do not approach in their face. When you want to approacht them try it on their flanks... ad do what dogpeople do too....slowly reach your hand to the cat's nose. That is the first way to bond. And yes, that bonding can cost weeks or months. But give the initiative to the cat. If you really love that cat, give it time. But you can adopt a cat too. From the pet sanctuary, or cat owners that sell (or giving some kittens to you) if you are really interested in a cat). I did not sell my kittens. I gave them away, telling the new owners that they did not yet got vaccinated , chipped... so I adviced them to get a pet insurance. Because that was what i did myself for my first cats. I hope my knowledge helped you! P.S. are you Dutch too? Your name sound familiar. We had some kind of contact before. 🤫

[@patchouli3422]

My current cat was a stray that just showed up and hasn't wanted to leave. He's not a cuddler, but he definitely enjoys being glued to me all the time.

[@SouthernGal5534]

I have a stray also..for 3 years. At first he didn't want to cuddle but I kiss the top of his head often, now he will push his head against my lips and as far as cuddling with about everything else..it's his timing and when he wants to.

[@Ameliafromhere]

I have a cat who wants all the love, follows you around, is LOUD, wants all the pets…. but hates being held. Shes a cow cat. lol

[@debbiewebster732]

Same for me loves being petted sits on my lap sleeps with me in bed but don't like cuddle or being picked up

[@gailremp8389]

I thought I wrote your comment. lol. I gave 5 but my Sarah us love beyond stroud but whew.

[@alainclvpentax8798]

The same for me. Anything but don’t try to pick him up

[@delilahlinder428]

I have two cow cats!😂❤

[@Conduitgene]

My fat kitty doesn’t like being picked up either so it is probably uncomfortable for them because of their weight.

[@phillipsher7945]

My FIRST cat (the best cat ever) generally didn’t want me to pick him up to hug him. But, if I held him firmly, he would “Give up” and let me hug him. Don’t misunderstand. He always wanted to lay in my lap when I was watching tv. And, we had a routine at bedtime involving a lot of tummy massaging and DEEP purring. Did I mention that he was the BEST CAT EVER?

[@Michael-s2p3p]

My cat will only cuddle once a day. I have to be sitting on the same chair, wear blue jeans and be feeding the dog at the same time of day. Any deviation and the cat jumps down and walks away. If I do what she wants, it’s a wonderful 3-4 minutes in my day.

[@plousia]

They're so strange

[@melindaunknown6411]

Almost like you are being held hostage by a cat. I get it. I too am held hostage by 2 cats, Monty and Sam. They are 2 years old and are brothers. 🐱

[@jomainy]

😂

[@knightfromhell1]

Cats train us

[@Owldwoman61]

Haha! I thought it just my cat , she’s so suspicious of everything, if I wash her bed I have to lie on it so it has my scent or she won’t go near it.

[@lauriereiter4364]

All my previous cats were cuddlers, so I was surprised when my new young shelter cat was not. He sat on my lap for a couple days until I got him a window seat, but has not again in 7 months. He lets me pick him up and carry him, but is about 14 pounds so I can't for long! You just have to accept them as they are, anything extra is a bonus.

[@sunbeam9222]

Hahaha same. My kitten was a lap cat. Until I invested in a couple window hammocks. Now she looks down on me from her perch 😂

[@JediLoreen]

I have 2 black former feral female cats. One, Raven, has been with me in my house for more than 5 years, the other, Shadow, has been in my house for 5 months. It took them a while to get used to me, but now they often enjoy cuddling with me, but I don't force it, I let THEM decide when they want attention and affection. They are both sweet and loving girls. 🐈‍⬛🥰

[@sib5464]

I also foster a feral cat. But I never had a cat before in my life. Will he ever settle down? I had him neutered 4 weeks ago. I can pet him. Also the tail. But belly no way. I know he feels safe inside but for him inside sort of is for him my territory and his is outside. Which literally makes it impossible to use my patio since 2.5 years. Will he ever use a cat toilet or stay more inside than outside?

[@johnsmith-ds5yt]

Black cats are beautiful..little pumas in your house 😊

[@joemomma1827]

My 4th cat, over the course of 40 years, did not like cuddling or being held. He was found as a very small kitten by a hunter in a field alone. He had to fend by himself for some time before the hunter found him. I rescued him from the humane society, and it took a long time for him to trust me to hold onto him. You have to do a little at a time. I would hug him then let him go and over time I held longer and longer and now he will allow me to hold onto him, but he prefers to lay on top of me. He sticks to me like glue now and is a very happy cat.

[@erikabee3498]

Really great you held onto him. In several things I am a quiter. But not for cats (nor dogs, but they eat more than I can pay) so I stay with cats.

[@joemomma1827]

@@erikabee3498 I would never give up one of my cats. I raised them all from kittens until they passed away. This one will grow old with me and I hope we go together or at least he goes first so he doesn't have to go through losing his daddy.

[@erikabee3498]

@@joemomma1827 I believe you Joemomma! I myself am 55 years old, and I know that I can die before my cats die. One of my cats (the trouble one) likes more people than only me. He can be replaced, after I'm gone in my street. But my Nelson is something else. Since he left his parental house, he only wanted to be with me. And he showed that. But no way I would nevergive up on him, not even on my dying breath. At least he should not been given to my direct family. But because of his age, not even to an animal shelter. There is one couple in my street, that might be the best parents for him... if I die to soon.

[@joemomma1827]

@ I am 62 and my cat is nearly 5 so it's going to be close, God willing. Funny how the closer the end gets, the things we have to think about.

[@debbiewelter7348]

40 years?

[@micheletravis9057]

I have a cat that LOVES to cuddle. She kisses my face, until I get sore and have to make her stop. She is so sweet, loves to play, and and kiss until she goes to sleep

[@deeandrews7051]

Those are called sandpaper kisses. LOL

[@micheletravis9057]

@@deeandrews7051 That is the perfect reply. Now I am going to calling sandpaper kisses!

[@Vitriol-Divergent]

These comments make me feel so much better. My cat I raised as a feral kitten won’t accept spooning cuddles, but he LOVES head pets and laying on my chest to sleep. Sometimes he’ll pass out for over an hour 🤨 I’m a side sleeper.

[@Momcat_maggiefelinefan]

My cat was born to a feral mom. She was rescued, but just beyond the usual age for positive human contact. She’s snuggly, but in her terms. So I let her snuggle when I’m resting as well. She’s my first non-snugglebug in a lifetime of feline companions, but I love her independence. 🇨🇦🦫🇨🇦

[@ruvoodoo4862]

So you're saying your cat acts like....a cat!! 😹

[@Momcat_maggiefelinefan]

@ Exactly … a very weird, too fluffy demon, but definitely a cat! 🇨🇦🦫🇨🇦

[@caq1578]

My cats for the last 20 years have been feral-I live in the country. But with some work I was able to pick them up and love on them. Some were kittens some were a lot older. Some born in my barn some migrated there because I fed them gave them toys bedding. Fixed all the females. Kept one inside. All got used to my dogs.All were vetted. I found some if the most resistant to being held and loved on were the most loving cats. They lived longer than my previous cats sans one.. 18 and 20 years. Been a year almost with one just my dogs. Miss my cats.

[@ashleybuffa7971]

I just adopted a 9 month old a month ago. She won’t let you even pet her downstairs on the main floor. She loves us to play with her though. But the minute we go upstairs, no matter what room, she wants to be snuggled & cuddled. It’s like she’s two different cats 😂

[@Ifonly-notus]

Check out the downstairs. There’s one or more things the cat doesn’t like

[@vienicestyles]

I never clicked on a video so fast! 💨. I have 2️⃣ cats. One is a total cuddle bug 🥰 🤗 and the other hates me. 🤣 😂

[@Valeri4561]

My male cat loves to be cuddled, but is not a lap cat. (mostly it's my fault b/c I never sit still long enough) But I can pick him up carry him all over, take him on a leash outside with me etc. He came to me at 4 weeks b/c his mother was Feral and killed by a car. There were three male kittens. I have one, my daughter adopted one, and my Mother adopted the third. Anyway, getting back to the subject...LOL My Female cat was a Feral. She was about 6 months old when she was trapped. Her picture was posted on FB by the girl who trapped her. I immediately contacted the girl and adopted her. She was to say the least a tiny terror when she came here. She was so frightened and aggressive. We worked with her for hours and hours. Lot's of respecting her doubts and not rushing her into any interaction with us. (We had a pet play pen that was very large that she stayed in for a few weeks) Once she started to figure out we were feeding her and talking softly to her she settled in. But she would not tolerate anyone picking her up or walking too close to her etc. We let her have her space for a very long time. Then she started to request our affections. But she has never liked to cuddle and we respect that. It's fear that drives her to behave like that and not a lack of love for us. She rolls on her back and purrs and comes to us now for attention. We don't take it personally b/c we know she has such a beautiful little soul and we love her as she is. 🥰

[@nadziakotek]

Yes !!! I’m on my 28th foster cat and the ones that are very abused take long time to rehabilitate and trust you to cuddle

[@micheletravis9057]

What you are doing is wonderful. Your kindness to cats is amazing. I just wish there were more people like you.

[@SimuLord]

One nice thing about having raised my cat from a 10-week-old kitten is that he's well and truly imprinted on me and picked up on my ways of showing affection. He'll jump right up into my lap when I'm at my computer and nuzzle up to me. And when I let him down, it won't be five minutes before he's right next to my chair again meowing his little head off until I pick him up and snuggle him some more.

[@cindythecatwoman1601]

I just got a new kitten in June, and he used to bite me if I tried to pick him up. So, I'd just leave him alone and, we've gotten more used to each other. He still doesn't cuddle that much but, doesn't bite as much either. He shows affection in other ways. You to learn to except them the way they are and, not try to change them to what you want them to be. Cats have minds of their own.

[@IntellectuallyAstute]

YEP!

[@pleegjepleegje]

I have a very clingy and affectionate lap cat. She loves pets but hates hugs and kisses 🐈‍⬛

[@Deborah-h5m1c]

I’ve never had a cat that ever liked to cuddle, and I’ve had a lot of cats😁

[@wolfwolf-sr6he]

I love my two 8 year old cats so much and I am very glad, that they both love cuddles. But I have to admit that I took care from the first weeks I got them, that I respected their body language. Many people don't do this and scare away cats that way. If a cat does not want cuddles or to be held in your arm she tries to wiggle out. And you should let her go immediately, but don't let her fall to the ground. Place her gently on the floor. So she will learn, that you respect her.

[@GordosMom]

My Siamese looks for me and lets me pick him up, snuggle, kiss, and nap with me. But his long haired Siamese brother chooses when he wants to sit at my feet and take a nap but refuses to let me hold him. I always respect their spaces and eventually they learn you are safe to get closer too.

[@justme33126]

My cat follows/supervises me everywhere in the house or in the garden. He rubs against me very often and likes to sit/sleep nearby and let's me pet him on the cheeks, behind ears, etc. But... he NEVER wants cuddles during the day; NEVER sits on the sofa next to me and definitely NEVER on my lap. He falls asleep on his own bed at night, but around 3 am he INSISTS on a huge cuddle inside the bed with me. He purrs for ages then falls asleep cuddled up in my arms 😸Me however... am now awake 😂

[@lynnewayne6898]

My cat is very similar to yours. I had always owned cats which had either been rescues or had adopted us themselves. When my 19 year-old cat had to finally be put to sleep, nine years ago, I knew that I wanted two kittens. A friend knew someone whose cat had just had kittens and wanted to re-home them. So I decided that I would have a sister and brother. I first saw them at four weeks, they were gorgeous! I picked up the tabby boy (Merlin) and he snuggled into me purring loudly. Then I picked up up his black-and white sister (Millie) who immediately developed eight legs, spreading them all out and fighting desperately to get down. I put him down and he went off to play. I visited them every week until I could take them home at 8 weeks. They soon settled in, playing and sleeping together. However, their personalities didn't change at all. Millie was three months before I heard her purr. She liked some fuss but never sat with me or sought out real affection. Merlin always did. Sadly Merlin died age 2. Millie obviously missed him at first, but she got over him. She didn't become any friendlier with me. Around five years ago she started to come upstairs once I was in bed. Then she snuggled under the quilt and did 'ins and outs' on my chest for about 15 - 20 minutes purring all the time. This continues still and at nearly nine, she looks for me and likes to be in the same room, whatever I'm doing. She will take some fuss, but purely on her terms. I feel that we have finally moulded to each other. She's certainly not the most loving cat I've had in 43 years, but we know each other very well. She will accept a couple of kisses on her head and we bump heads affectionately. So we're happy and know we're loved. I'm happy with that. 🥰

[@liziwood6370]

My cat was a feral rescue kitten & when she was little she would leap on my lap but would only stay for a second and leap off again like she didn't know how to do it. As she grew she has always remained skittish & fearful of anything new or different. Now she has accepted me & my dogs are safe but everything else - including other people - is to be feared & she flees. She will happily follow us around the garden while we're outside, loves belly rubs, curls up next to us on the couch in the evening & she loves being stroked but that's as cuddly as it gets. I've accepted it & just am pleased I am on her 'safe' list.

[@Shazzadut1]

My cat was a stray, but as a kitten she used to come up to me and allow me to touch her. Now as an adult cat that I adopted she loves me but is still very scared of any other people that come into my house. And she hates men. She’s so scared of them. And she’s not much of a cuddler. Occasionally she will cuddle, but not very often. She will sleep on my bed, or sit on the arm of my lounge chair when I’m watching TV. She sits on my lap while I feed her a treat, but when they’re gone, she’s off.

[@glenzisko7974]

@@Shazzadut1 🤣🤣 same here mine will lay on the couch behind me while I’m watching tv he doesn’t trust men either but loves women he’s such a flirt lol

[@Tonia682]

I got a 3 month old kitten from the shelter 6 months ago. She likes pets and neck scratches but she’s not a cuddly kitty. I love her so I let her be herself.

[@mia38383]

My doctor wrote me a script for my cat Flynn over 12 years ago. He’s supposed to be my emotional support. 😂 He isn’t mean or vicious but he dislikes EVERYONE but me, and even I can’t cuddle him a bunch. On rare occasions he will climb onto my chest and demand some attention. Or if I’m very upset he’ll stay close by. The funny part is we have 3 other very affectionate and social cats that are always up for cuddles. I always direct other people toward them and ask them to respect Flynn if he expresses any displeasure when they approach him for petting. I love him so much.

[@virginiawilkinson5038]

Rescued small refugee from back of shopping center...mean bites eats like crazy beats me up. Growls alot and we just love her from a distance and keep good routine. Sleeps against me every night, so coming around. ❤

[@stephanietorres4612]

My 32 week kitten is feisty and sweet. She listens when I talk to her and has her moments of cuddle on her terms. She loves to lay under covers for a short time and will lay along my legs in bed. She follows me around, and runs under my feet. She is young still and shows affection. ❤

[@DisgustingJustinAD]

I have a cat who hated cuddles, yet he watched the elderly cat loved getting hugs & snuggles. Eventually the other cat got jealous, he wakes me up & vigorously rubs his face in to mine 😂😂😂

[@Ben-nh9xw]

My two cats want to be in any room I’m in. They constantly offer me their bellies for belly rubs. I awaken and always find one sleeping next to my face. I know they love me, but they do not enjoy being held and would never cuddle. It drives me nuts. They’re sisters, so maybe it in their family genes. Their mom was feral

[@sf55514]

Well just because you want to cuddle doesn't mean they do. Let the catness be.

[@cjjaxxon]

I had a big fluffy cat that didn't like being picked up but like being in my lap or on my chest. ❤

[@happyhippo4664]

😅one of my cats needs things to be on his own terms. If i try to hold him, he'll wiggle away. But then he'll come right back to the same spot. He'll be affectionate but he is the one that determines how and when it takes place.

[@randypaul7312]

If you really love your cat and want them to know it (more so), give them a small amount of milk, nightly. I usually buy small paper plates at the bulk food store and reserve them for the cat's nightly "treat". The added calcium helps their bones and nails and really makes them feel good and nurished. I usually brush the cat to reduce hairballs and I don't touch her so much now since she knows I love her through treats and feeding her milk plus attention. She doesn't lick herself so much now, but I do pet her head and planted her many container plants such as Cook Pines to mimick a little forest setting so she can feel like she is in a natural area. She loves the garden and the obstical course that is the container plants help give her time to run up a tree when she is scared. I keep her indoors at night and observer her in the garden during the day to make sure she is safe. Plant many, many random containers so that any larger animals trip and fall if they are chasing the cat, but it is best to keep them indoors mostly and monitor them if they are trained to use a bathroom break outside.

[@LinaSis9]

My rescue cat purrs when we pick him up and snuggle with me

[@lisacox4984]

My cat chose me when she was about three weeks old (she and her littermates were abandoned by their mother in a friend's yard up the street) and I could tell early on she wasn't a lap cat, so I didn't try to make her (I'm not a hugger, so I get it). She follows me around, rubs against my legs, and when I hold my hand out to her, she will bow her head for scritches on her head and sometimes she'll let me scritch under her chin and on her jaw and back, and I'll say "Kitty spa day! Kitty spa day!" 'til she turns away or bats my hand and then I stop. Sometimes she'll sit near me. And sometimes she'll lick my hand.

[@erikabee3498]

Licking your hand is an important sign she loves you. They never do that to strangers (exept maybe when somebody has whipped cream on their hands). Funny fact ; My first cat sometimes likked my hair for more than half an hour. Cats are great! 😍

[@UnitedWeStandFreedom]

Not only does my cat cuddle with me he follows me back and fourth even when i jog around the house ! Sits under my butt when laying down or reading and gives me a bath everything he's getting ready to go to sleep ! He's up my butt 24/7 😂😂.

[@info145]

Wow. A lot of this "kitty cat psychology" really holds true! :-)

[@noordab2092]

Im originally a dog person and I tend to treat my cats like dogs, thanks to this video i get why my cat cuddles with me and then goes away once i start petting him or harassing him lol

[@SaturdaySportsman]

Wrong about desk chair vs comfy couch. When I'm on the couch, they won't come around but when I'm working at my desk, I can't keep them off of me.

[@kimberlee2809]

Both of my cats (who are sisters) fight over me/my lap. They don't fight when I go out of town but when I come back they both claim me as territory once more. It's cute and slightly aggravating.

[@blondek767]

I have indoor/outdoor farm cats, all feral born. None cuddle, but will greet me everyday with a meow or swipe up against me. I pet each on the head and say a few kind words. Some will sit with me, or near me, and a few with sleep on my bed at night.

[@jodajackson4489]

You have to buy them dinner first. Even then don’t get too handsy, it’s not like they owe you something afterwards.

[@consuelaofthenorth4768]

😂

[@alisakerwoodakarainbowangel]

our cat was bounced around to 4 home's ours was the 4th. Thanks for the information about why Kiki wouldn't cuddle with us and on the other hand she does climb on the bed and falls asleep behind my knees when I'm doing the same

[@mutestingray]

My cat will cuddle on his own terms. The bed or the sofa are his favorite spots but, otherwise, he’s doing his own thing.

[@CarbageMan]

My shelter cat adopted around 3yo seemed to imprint so quickly I was surprised she never took to being picked up. To this day, she doesn't like it. She's very social and will choose to cuddle in my lap though and readily accepts all other forms of affection. She follows me around the house but only seems to purr when she comes to me, hungry (typically mornings-I don't open feed.) I presume she's been abused. I had another pair of shelter cats my mother had adopted and kept for years before passing away. One of them was skittish for a year or two and became an incredible buddy after the other cat from my mother passed away (that one was always in my lap and tended to dominate the smaller one.) PS: I'm thinking the one I have adopted since they both passed may change over time, as the previous did. I guess they have to take their time, even if they tend to generally show they trust you.

[@DalokiMauvais]

The shelter said Rocky was around 3 when I got him. I'd already had Chloe for several years then. She'd gotten along okay with Buzz, who had died a year earlier, she she wanted nothing to do with Rocky, hissing and spitting if he got near her. Two years later, there is less hissing and spitting, but they mostly avoid each other. Anyway, while I know Rocky has affection for me, not only will he not cuddle, he won't let me be on the same vertical level as he. If I sit on the floor, he moves away. If he's on my bed at bedtime, and I get in bed, he will leave if I stretch out to touch him. The only time he'll sit on the couch near me is if I'm giving him a Squeeze-Up. And if he wants food, or a brushing , or go into the garage, he sits by the door to the garage and *WAILS* until I go insane. I must be standing to pet or brush him. I figure he must have been abused, but how the hell long does it have to be before he trusts me? I admit I sometimes don't react well to his wailing, but after two years there is absolutely no change. I'm 74 and can't play with him very well because he gets bored quickly with toys that move on their own and I can't stand for long periods of time. Also because I'm 74 I don't feel I should get a 3rd cat, but Rocky's behavior hurts and/or infuriates me. I WILL NOT take him back to the shelter. I hoped this video would give me some tips, but... no.

[@ronz101]

Love your pet for who they are. 🎉

[@firewood9991]

Maybe try Jackson Galaxy's channel. He is great for cat behaviour issues.

[@mariiris1403]

I think that maybe the tips given in this video wasn't to your liking, but to your cat's. Because Rocky has different needs and wants than Chloe. As long as you have Chloe, Rocky can see that it's no danger in cuddling and being close, when you cuddle and stroke her. But the most important and difficult, is to not try and force any cuddling and holding him. Because, this is what you want, which I totally understand! I have a cat I thought it was difficult playing with, because he quickly got uninterested. But then I found a toy with three different options to attach to the cord on a stick. Finally, it was really fun for him. It has a small bell on all the different feathery/stringy/fluffy attachments. If I sit on a chair or on my bed, I can reach quite far, so that he gets to run and jump after it. Then you can perhaps move to another room, while moving the toy around, and continue there, while seated again. But no cuddling or touching! If he's "black in the eyes", he's in hunting mode! Good luck, and I really hope you'll find a good connection with him.

[@bride4jesus0126]

Here’s your tips! Get some Feliway cat pheromone diffusers Feliway Multicat or Feliway Optimum. They put out calming scent undetectable to human noses but to cats it reminds them of their mom when they were nursing. Safe & happy. They will settle down. It works for aggression, spraying/marking & other anxious behaviors Also there are cat calming music & bird/squirrel channels on KZbin for free. I play them for days when Im away at work or to keep them at peace & not bored or lonely. Soft low music or birds chirping really changes their mood & distracts them from upsets. I highly recommend! Been rescuing strays/ferals about 15 yrs now. Surgery RN BSN

[@DalokiMauvais]

@@mariiris1403 For the first time ever he jumped up on the sofa beside me and CAME CLOSER. Then, unbelievably, he walked across my lap. He stayed there for maybe 2 seconds before going on... OMIGOD HE DID IT AGAIN! And this time after crossing my lap he STAYED on the other side of me making biscuits on the blanket I have over the couch to protect it from collecting fur - for about 2 minutes, maybe even three. I'm astonished and delighted.

[@briancorbin5542]

i had my cat for 23 years when she was a kitten she loved to cuddle but whrn she gotten older she didn't want to be bothered only when it was time for bed she would come and sleep with me to wake up and find her gone in the morning

[@Owldwoman61]

My cat is affectionate but on her terms, she absolutely hates being picked up so I avoid it and only do it if I’m giving her flea drops or cleaning her eyes, cats can have many boundaries and it’s up to owners to figure them out and respect them.

[@Persefone94]

My cats love my husband and I, but they are not lap cats. We got them when they were 15 weeks. They absolutely love us and love pets and attention.

[@jenniferd2970]

NONE OF MY CATS LIKE TO CUDDLE. THEY JUST FOLLOW ME AND LOOK FOR ME WHEN THEYRE HUNGRY. 2 OF THEM LET ME CARRY THEM AND 1 OF THEM WILL SLEEP NEXT TO ME BUT NONE LIKE TO CUDDLE.

[@lauriereiter4364]

Ditto.

[@michaelcarbone6101]

Thanks 👍

[@kathleendavidson3316]

My cat Sage is a Scottish fold (straight) like roughly half the cats in this video LOL and he hates being picked up. But he's so affectionate. He'll jump into the air to encourage me to pet him and goes so limp I have to hold him up with one hand and pet him with the other or else he'll fall over. And he's routinely at (or directly in front of) my feet. I'd love to snuggle him as he's so plush but neck scritches will have to do.

[@L35423]

I have a 21/2 old orange cat that loves to cuddle with me and is like glue. I wanted him to have a friend, so rescued a brother and sister. They were only estimated at 1 month old when found in a park and fostered for 3 weeks before I adopted them. They’re almost 2 now. The little boy does come to me for scratches but no cuddles. The little girl is terrified still. She will plop down near me at feeding time, but outside of taking her out of the carrier when I brought her home she will NOT let me touch her. 😿 I did manage once to pick her up, but she bit me and sliced my hand. I haven’t tried since because it’s too traumatizing for her. If I get too close at all she takes off. I’m so sad I can’t pick her up or give her cuddles! They all love each other, though- I guess that what matters. 💕

[@dtrtuscay826]

That thumbnail is great

[@louflood1145]

I have a cute Manx.. she has brief cuddles but I know she loves me.. ❤

[@andrews6495]

I have a Persian that never cuddles but follows me around the house and watches me all day and night. We don’t need cuddles to feel the love for each other….

[@warthogA10]

My female follows me around everywhere, she is also the foreman for any and every job I or others do around the house, constantly inspecting to make sure it's done correctly. But she also has only two locations she wants to be pet, her perch basket, or my recliner and she is constantly trying to lure me to those spots, but she does not like to be up against me or cuddle at all. She and my male were taken from St Thomas Island, and I think her experience of that is why she is extremely timid, doesn't like to feel trapped or something. The male on the other hand, is literally a baby who loves and needs constant cuddling, he's basically a sentient stuffed animal.. 🤣 .. and he actually hugs you like a baby and will not let go.

[@sevenandthelittlestmew]

My cats don’t like being “cuddled” per se. One likes being in my lap, and I can pat her side, or massage her shoulders, but if I try to touch her head, she will flip out. I think this is from a bad experience from previous owners before we adopted her. She definitely is a lap cat, though. The other cat is pretty shy, and only wants to cuddle on her terms. When she wants love, she curls up right next to me and licks my hand or elbow until I pet her. She also will sleep with me, but only when she wants to. I’m happy that they show me their love in their own way.

[@elektras6325]

My cat wants to sleep next to me. She grew up on my chest since I adopted her at 6 was of age. She’s always been a swatted and biter and never grew out of it. She doesn’t want to be cuddled or petted. She will groom herself if anyone pets her- full groom session. If you leave the room ( eg go to the bathroom) she will meow for u.

[@nicoleweddepohl]

Thank you for your explanation. But... my cat will only cuddle in the middle of the night when i sit on the toilet. I really love those little moments, but i rather cuddle in the evening 😅😅😅

[@Elisabeth19031978]

My cat was born here, but she still doesn't want to be cuddled, though I can pet her, she walks away all the time, she never sits on my lap.

[@MandaWard71]

I have a 6 month British Blue. He's been with us since he was 9 weeks old, and he's a total Jekyll and Hyde 🤦‍♀️

[@IntellectuallyAstute]

LOL

[@lauriemyers3]

My baby has gotten a lot more cuddly as he’s gotten older. He’s so tolerant, though. He’ll let me do what I want for about 30 seconds and then squirms away. However, as I type this, he’s curled up in the crook of my arm! 😊

[@adriennek6759]

I have had 4 cats, and only 1 doesn't like to cuddle, but she would jump onto my lap for a nap every evening, so I know it's just a matter of pursonality and preference of showing affection.

[@PatNichols-u7b]

My cat follows me but doesn't cuddle

[@yourlifelesson]

I had a cat that hated being held or picked up so I ended up leaving her alone eventually she came to me and sat on my lap instead of acting afraid

[@bride4jesus0126]

You can train most cats to do anything if you slowly & gently brush their whiskers & chin with a slicker cat brush (capped bristles). Be gentle & never over do it. About 3 strokes per side & under chin (unless they have bad teeth or mouth pain)….every cat Ive known LOVES it so much. I treat them like I would want if I was a cat. And they really love it. I dunno….animals like me. I am a deep empathic though. Show them your love in voice & slow blink when they look at you. They will know your intentions. Never force it. And use Feliway cat diffusers… These tips will work wonders

[@kimvanderlinden1842]

My floof used to hate cuddles and such. I think she was abused before she came to live with me. (I adopted her from a rescue shelter) At the very beginning she was very afraid to even walk over carpet. But now, after a year or so, she can't stay away from my lap ❤

[@AdventuresWithKatieinMaine]

❤my boy kitty came to me emaciated and on the verge of death, I don't know his history but I often wonder if I can't pick him up due to pain? He has a piece of his toe missing when he came to me and I wonder what he went through. He only allows fave and ears to be pet. No picking up he gets scared. Poor lil guy I just wanna snuggle him n love him

[@quillingmama]

We have 2 litermates that are boys. One loves to cuddle with me and the other will but it has to be on his ground rules

[@Leila37-n7j]

my cat only likes being held over the shoulder and he will not cuddle at night he will only sleep on our feet, he likes to guard the door. we adopted him from a foster who rescued his mother from a barn. he is very clean and has medium fur that is very good for cold weather here. he acts like he is in the wild. and he gets bored of toys easily but will leap towards a window because he wants to kill a bird, he is kinda feral but has lived indoors his whole life. fierce bb.

[@tahnibobonnie]

My cat considers cuddling as sitting near on the same bed or couch as me. When she’s feeling especially cuddly, she sits on the top of the recliner and maybe lets her foot or tail actually touch me. She’s just not a touchy-feely type of girl.

[@denisekinzle1672]

I have one who screams when I pick her up.She doesnt like any of my fogs or cats but demands kisses

[@beetlejuise]

Nice video, but i believe some Scottish Fold cats are shown. Since the health problems of that breed do not show them much in the video's please. they are beautiful but beauty hurts them.

[@alisong2328]

One of mine follows me, cries at me, and will reach out and swat me if I'm not rubbing her face when she's near me. She hates being picked up or having her paws touched, though.

[@Koalabalaa]

My lil girl Trix (Manx, dilute calico) despises being picked up, but wants sooo much attention. Can't walk around the house without a yelling shadow

[@bryantsmith3134]

I kiss my cat almost 100 times a day. Sometimes 10 times in a row. Massage between her toes….anything and everything. Brush her daily and play times too. She didn’t use to like all that, but realized every touch is a good touch. She doesn’t like baths, but gets them once in awhile anyway. I actually don’t like being away from her and she’s the same. She pouts for a week while I’m gone, but knows I’ll be back.

[@gailremp8389]

Good idea. Don’t overthink it. Really.

[@Sheena3745]

I've had my cat since he was weaned & we live alone, so I'm all he knows. He's always been a cuddler, but now that he's grown he refuses pets unless he's welcoming me home. He sleeps daily on my lap & frequently on my chest, but won't let me pick him up anymore. He regularly demands attention, but moves away when I try to pet him. I'm *very* confused! I'm old & can't stand for long or chase him around, so it limits our interactions & I'm afraid he'll get used to this "social distancing" leaving both of us deprived. Any suggestions?

[@alexoceanmeow]

I have a cat that wants me to be laying in bed so she can walk all over me, sit on my chest, make biscuits in my armpit lol, and then eventually snuggle up against me but not on top of me. She doesn't hate head and shoulders pets, but she's not a cuddler. But she does cuddle with me in her own way.

[@heartland297]

My cat loves to be petted, but he only tolerates being held if he is standing on on his own 4 paws. So, if he happens to jump up on a table, he is perfectly okay with me hugging him, as long as I don't pick him up.

[@staypositive950]

My cat has come to understand cuddle time. She tolerates it for maybe 5 minutes. Then she starts whipping her tail around to let me know she is getting impatient. What's funny is she loves to sleep a few inches from me purring. But if I pull her over for a hug, there is a time limit.

[@lissettegarcia5859]

My cat hates when i try to cuddle with her.. sge will follow me eveywhere,stare at me and lst me pet her sometimes.. But when i try to lay down with her next to ,shes not having it

[@meredithgreenslade1965]

Ours don't cuddle. However, they come to us on our beds and will let us scratch them. They are number 2. But they greet us when we come home and tolerating our scratches. They are not happy to be on our laps but be close by us

[@espifreak]

My cat cuddles with me when she wants to, but I can't cuddle her when I want to.

[@turtleb7170]

My cat is moody, sometimes i can pick him up and he wants pets, other times its a low tone upset meow and a turn of the head lol

[@suessetieredieichsehe]

i had a black cat who loved cuddeling.his name was negro neko. he was always sleeping in my arms. i think it was because his mother didnt accept him as a kitty because he was very weak and sick. after 2 years i lost him. he was the only cat i have seen who loved cuddeling.

[@davidkastin4240]

Forget about it. It only on their terms.

[@leabritto1935]

And o cuddled when they were small

[@alicia_nicole]

My cat only likes to cuddle when i have to get up and go somewhere important

[@srice6231]

Our two male cats love to cuddle but our sassy girl likes to cuddle in her way but doesn't like to be held. She wants to be next to me and be petted but not held.

[@viperdemonz-jenkins]

my cat does not like cuddles, but I do not like too much attention either. she is just like me.

[@Lorena-OT7]

My cat never cuddles, she doesn’t even like being picked up. I got her at 8 months old, so who knows what the person before me treated her. 😢

[@jaymijess2616]

My boy loooooves cuddles, his sister not so much 😅