Fi’s Fight Back - my first walk!!!

Appointment day and I got a little bit of wiggle room to go in my first dog walk and start reducing the wheelchair!!!
Also talking about exercise addiction and the battle I have with activity.
We will keep getting Fi back. One day at a time.
#anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recoveryispossible #edrecovery #dayinthelife #inpatient #recovery

[@judith8160]

I also had an exercise addiction and anorexia. Every time I exercised I told myself: "you are not allowed to eat that much because then you ruin the effect of exercise." But now I overcome both addictions and managed to think the completely opposite! Now I nourish my body with even more food on the days I exercise because I need more food on this days! My body needs the food to build muscles and to have energy for the rest of the day! I hope you can also get this mindset, it healed my relationship with food❤️

[@ganiisness]

I’m so immensely inspired by your fighting spirit. You got this! And thanks to you recording it one day you will be able to look back to see just how far you’ve come and how hard you fought!

[@chelseydixon8342]

Such a difficult feat but you WILL get there. I've battled an exercise addiction, exercising until collapse, waking up and being worried about how many steps I missed being unconscious. Now, I very rarely do. My work is quite active and when I get home, I've got to a place I can allow myself to rest. You will too! No doubt about it. You are so unbelievable strong, even when you don't necessarily feel it! Xxxx

[@nicolaoffert4006]

How brilliant to go out walking with your Mum and Hugo. You're amazing 😊👍

[@colleengrove-jones4207]

Just love Hugo. What an awesome snuggle buddy.

[@annieserra5191]

Fi!!! Your first walk!!! How incredibly exciting and absolutely fantastic. I am so proud of you. You're doing so well. You sounded so confident and strong in this video talking about your exercise addiction and the last one when talking about the right things to say to a person going through recovery. It's a really wonderful thing to see.

[@rebeccabirks4847]

The sarcasm is good, it is you fighting for Fi back! You go girl ❤️

[@annettestephens7107]

That’s your goal right there Fiona ❤️ a sunshine walk with Hugo xxxx

[@harmonyhope1709]

I always think of the song from "Frozen 2" when you talk about doing the next right thing. Lol (one of my favourite films) love Disney 💕💕

[@annettestephens7107]

Thank you for always being so honest with your followers ❤️

[@sarak8736]

You’re amazing Fi. Thank you for being so open and candid about your journey. It’s very educational for others who may not understand the battlefield that happens in the mind every minute. I was an adolescent when I suffered with anorexia nervosa. I struggled for several years but I’ve been recovered for many now. I was able to get my Bachelor of Science in Nursing degree and have been an RN for 8 years. I have been able to get to a point where I now trust the rationale side of my mind and not the disorder. I know you can do it too!! You’ve got this!! ❤️❤️

[@Jgarner000]

Brave…strong…breathe..you are amazing ❤️

[@harmonyhope1709]

Was weirdly watching an episode of "Supersize v's Supperskinny" last night on KZbin and your parents were on it talking about you having to be in a unit so far from home when you were in The Priory..... They're so supportive of you and your recovery, so glad you have a good support system in place ❤️

[@jessannear7152]

I struggle massively with the exercise addiction to but this is been so inspiring! Thankyou❤️

[@allisonhamilton1245]

I can tell as you list the changes that you feel overwhelmed, please remember, step by step, bite by bite, thought by thought. We are all rooting you on. I also liked to see your moment of sarcasm. That is your will to fight!!!

[@lemonlime8363]

I love Hugo. He’s so precious

[@robinteneyck6603]

Just a quick note to say you are enough. You are strong and you are amazing. The next right thing might seem little bit you are almost free from the struggle. ❤️

[@lynda9900]

Firstly you are doing incredibly well and I for one am so proud of you. One day you will look back on all of this and it will become a closed chapter, one not to reopen or reread. Thank you so much for explaining how your mind thinks and explaining just how difficult this illness is, I know that itself can't be easy to do. But as an outsider looking in, it truly helps me understand your suffering a little more. I also want to shout out to Mum and Dad...you are amazing parents, and no doubt your daughters backbone throughout this journey. Right now for all of you life has been interrupted, so be kind to each other, be kind to yourselves and always remember we are surviving the struggle together💜

[@nicolekendrick9516]

exercise addiction was my achilles heal in recovery too, for a long time. like your nurse said, the very uncomfortable allows us to work through it so that we can be free. spoiler alert: it got better!!! today i went for a walk with my dad just to feel the sun on my face, spend time with my dad, get out of the house, enjoy nature, and it felt good for my body! keep doing the next right thing and you’ll get there, i know it!

[@hollycampbell645]

Oohhhhh. Congratulations on your walk! Such a big accomplished

[@robinjoy2789]

So inspiring! Cheering you on Fi!!!

[@sheilaschofield5013]

There is a technique called the honesty book, it’s for when you want support but are not mentally strong enough for a conversation. It allows the person supporting you to know the anxiety is strong, that more emotional support or distraction is needed but on the premise that conversation is when you are ready.

[@morgainetaylor5777]

I am in awe of how brave and determined you are. You are trying so hard, and doing the right thing by asking for help. We are all here to support you. You've got this xx

[@lorenspath6538]

Hi Fi! Ive suffered from exercise addiction as well. I know what it feels like. You have a great attitude and keep up the good work! as always thank you for sharing, I love your sweater! Love,loren

[@rubieclark6146]

Never been more proud of anyone 🥰

[@kimsmith432]

Thank you for sharing and explaining what is difficult for you. Love seeing your reviews of the various bars! Looks like Hugo loved having you walk him 🙂

[@kellybeiter9486]

I am in awe of your spirit and strength...love your mantra "hour by hour" , "day by day"...you will win this battle!

[@susanbryant3853]

We are here for you Fi! I am so proud of you and so proud that you are sharing what is so hard for you.

[@alimoore589]

You're doing amazingly. Seeing your progress and seeing you getting Fi back makes me incredibly happy and proud of you! Well done xx

[@tootsla1252]

Whaaaatttt!!! That is so exciting! Huge milestone, Fi! You are a champ! 💥⚡️🌈☀️✨😍💯🌸👏✨❤️❤️❤️

[@karenroach6506]

I’m so sorry you’re struggling so much! It does sound exhausting, I can’t even imagine how difficult it must be. Sending you tons of love and support!🥰

[@glynis7970]

Wow Fi ! What a day,you are a rockstar sweetheart,I bet your fur baby was so excited to walk with you. Keep on keeping lovely 🌹

[@adriennerose1360]

So proud of you!! Keep going 💗

[@annasorelle2700]

So proud of you! Thank you so much for sharing your story and vulnerability. I’m on my own healing journey right now, and watching your videos helps me keep going when things get hard. You’ve got this!

[@AccioGreyGoose]

Thank you so much for sharing everything so openly. Although I have never known your particular struggle, your journey towards healing has touched me and helped me in my own struggle. Thank you so much for that. Please give Hugo a chest scratch from me! 💓

[@jul62187]

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!! You earned that walk! GOOD JOB! I know how hard it is not to exercise and move. I believe that it will get easier as time goes by!

[@aliflanagan7669]

So freaking proud of you for managing such a hard day and staying so driven and positive xx

[@ladyblueye28]

Fi you’re so strong honey you got this and you will be well I see you fighting this with every being! Stay strong and fight girl you got this!!! ❤️

[@heatherconnolly8658]

Your first walk, you’ve come such a long way. 👏👏 you are one strong lady, I know that you’ll get there

[@BrandiBcrazy]

You’re a rockstar! Battling the brain is so difficult and you are doing amazing!! We all adore you so much! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@debbiekwak5502]

What a huge win today despite the difficult appointment! You looked very happy on the walk❤️

[@pikapikatoo3305]

I’ve only just found your TikTok and decided to check out your other platforms. I just wanted to say I’m so proud of you. I know it’s not easy but your doing your best. I can see your trying and working so hard 😊 Your being so positive when you can. I’m just so happy for you for doing your best and sharing your progress ❤️🥰

[@clareshillan5984]

Well done Fi, it's amazing that you faced your fear and came up with a plan, you are doing so well. Glad you enjoyed your walk! Xx

[@kellyknight7599]

Hugo looked so excited about your walk! Proud of you! Much love from 🇨🇦

[@gemxlovesxbeautyxxx9734]

Your personality is really starting to shine! Keep going, you can do this!!!! Xx

[@sadieherbert1963]

Keep going sweetie. Forward is the only way. May I suggest listening to Tabitha farrar videos- in particular the migration effect theory. It really helped me understand my actions and the way I was thinking. It explains the need to excercise and restrict

[@katlinnorway4881]

I'm so proud of u, Fi! And love r sarcasm 😁 Big hug for u 🤗🤗🤗

[@kristenlaport9080]

You're parents are such a blessing! Also, this video helped me so much! I battle different demons but everything you talked about I could relate to for many different reasons. Thank you for posting! Your strength is helping me try to do better!

[@rubieclark6146]

You may find things difficult but you know what you prove to the voices in your head that you are in control and you need Fi back❤️

[@nicoleschreffler8645]

This is so relatable! I love you and think your doing a fantastic job we will beat this illness

[@courtneymcguffee5753]

I’m so happy for you!!! You worked so hard to achieve this moment, and I know you’re struggling but you’re doing such good things for yourself and I know you’re going to get that moment on that walk in the sunshine where you will be grateful for holding on.

[@slhart]

You are so inspiring. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

[@lisamedlyn3818]

Oprah has a great talk on KZbin about the next right move. You would love it.

[@stjernoga]

One step at a time. Lots of love from Sweden💝

[@donnalewis6323]

Hiya sweetheart it was so lovely to see you and your mum on a walk!! Much love sweetheart 🥰🥰

[@shellyjoyes1298]

Bravo girl. You're confronting obsessive movement, because you know it's holding you back. I, too have struggled intensely with exercise, while recovering from anorexia. It really does make you feel like being held hostage within yourself, and unfortunately, no matter how much your meal plan is increased, the problem still exists. Personally, I have found Tabitha Farrar's videos Most Helpful, as she has lived this torment and Fully recovered. Her advice to STOP all symptoms, and do opposite action to what your brain is telling you sounds impossible, yet, as I've learned it is Necessary if you want to be Fully Free!! I see you recording your videos, and I hope this process is helping you to be accountable to your recovery...however, (it appears) that you are standing while talking. I'm sorry to point this out, however I wonder if you are aware of how it is hurting you.?!! I encourage you to challenge this. Break the cycle now. You do not have reserves to waste on burning energy, as you are only prolonging the pain.

[@janedoex1398]

Wow, you catch some things like this very fast ! Even I in my almost 3 decade long ups and sometimes even very low downs didn't notice. But maybe because now even I work out in the subway . I tell myself it's because they have so many poles to hold on , stretch, doing balket positions etc.....but I even sitting I start lifting my legs when I feel I can't stand anymore and I am nowhere near like this Lady- weight wise... I know it's an excuse, but I keep pretending even more as I gained almost 2 lbs without any changes in my diet , so I have to be prepared because I don't know what's going on and I am trying to apply for disability benefits ( Just for a short period ) I am scared that if I don't look like death (despite I have not only a chronic ED, 3 - maybe more- autoimmune diseases - one dissolving my thyroid, basically there are periods when a huge amount of hormones are released, followed by a period where I slip more into Hypothyreadism (but because of my ED my GP didnt give me the meds my endocrinologist prescribed me because " I only make that up to get meds to loose weight, even though I showed them my labs, but they didn't know the new limits, nor the ones recommend for people with Hashimoto's ! I was told to go to my specialist for my meds..BUT I can't pay 100 - 200$ for a script every month just becausemy GP won't do a Google search or contact my Ende doc or admit she isn't specialised in this field ) 6 mental health diagnoses ( and Hypothyreodism can worsen medication resistent Major depression severely) and maybe an endocrine disease or even a tumor on my pituitary gland.... All things I can't follow up, because I have no money for the one endocronologie doc, no appointment for the tumor issue - the wait list for an appointment - not to mention the contrast MRI that is needed to check fot it - is ~ 6 months before Corona hit ..... They recommended a follow up a after a year 2016....But I can't so it , because once I clear one thing, life seems to throw a pile of new trouble at me. Going through implants and a huge abszess Was what finally triggered my last severe relapse. The pain, not being allowed my save foods, not wanting to eat because of the pain and blood while brushing etc. Also if I look too healthy , it could be the reason to be denied ....Most likely that wouldn't be the only factor, but once you heard " but you don't LOOK Anorexic !" Because you have a BMI of 16 or (ghasp) 16.8 rather then the 13.5 to 15.5 people were used to see you before for decades.... Being small doesn't help. Edit : sorry for the rant. Dentist appointment tomorrow and I am so scared....

[@xristinas2767]

Thanks for talking about exercise addition. When you win over your exercise addition you will enjoy exercise right? The walks and the movement without rules. Imagine how many things you will able to experience. Last summer i actually tried for the first time to kite surf. It was unexpected. I wasn't the best serfer lol but i enjoyed so much the sea and the air. To be able to enjoy the moment; how lovely it is. Keep fighting fi you will get there. Lets take our life on our hands and make it beautiful.

[@harmonyhope1709]

Inspired by your honesty and your bravery ♥️💪

[@cindyb7824]

Congratulations! So proud of you! 😊❤️

[@LouiseT2405]

Do you play Animal Crossing or any other games? That might be a fun way to spend some time sitting down and take your mind off things for a while. The animals are so cute they become like your friends 🥲

[@rhondajames6260]

You are AMAZING !

[@katespalding2134]

Have you got a hot water bottle? They are my saviour, I’ve got long one, a small one, etc. it’s so comforting xxx

[@rubieclark6146]

Love you girly, we want fi ☺️

[@rubieclark6146]

Keep it up ❤️

[@marisamaelaurie2797]

❤️❤️❤️

[@rubieclark6146]

Look at your goooo!!!

[@KACDWFCD]

♥︎H♥︎U♥︎G♥︎O♥︎

[@missydandelion6923]

May I ask how you still exercise if you are in the chair? You mentioned you need to stop the exercise addiction? are you doing it secretly?

[@recoveringlotts5835]

How are you on wheelchair if you pace and exercise, no hate just wondering?xxxx

[@thryn8113]

You’re ripping off the band-aide. It’s incredibly painful but it’ll all be worth it in the end. To live without restriction

[@Fly-uc3mo]

Are you noticing a change in your energy level getting better with the increase of nutrition?

[@rubieclark6146]

I’m so proud of you 🥰your so strong and you fight no matter what 👏🏻👏🏻well done gorgeous girl❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹