FIAF Talk: Esther Perel in conversation with Anand Giridharadas

[@Diamondkity]

I can’t ever have enough of listening to this brilliant genius woman!!!

[@dkannapan]

I like how she took the trouble of making sure all the questions got answered. I'm sure the audience appreciated the effort.

[@LoveGuruGreg]

As a huge mentor Esther, you never cease to amaze! Thank you for sharing your research and wisdom again!

[@mariajoseibizacoach6946]

Greg Dudzinski-The Art of Relationships m

[@Nurse-J-Angel]

Wowww... Never knew this lady, before, but she is AMAZING in so many ways. New role model for this girl. Go on, Esther!

[@Cynthia-Landers]

1:08:20 'It's not new' . . . So right. Thank you, Ms. Perel.

[@patriciab8854]

So respect her integrity, passion and myth-busting message. Wish I had known her work in my youth. Hope she can reach this generation and yes, we can do better.

[@elonaymeraj3878]

Thank you Esther Perel!!! You’re insightful and carry a lot of wisdom within you... I hope new generations benefit widely from your perspective on the way relationships work and stay balanced...

[@schappiness]

Such a fan of Esther.

[@Lago_roh]

That’s a fantastic discussion. It raises several interesting questions! Thank you for sharing it.

[@venusonmars]

She is just absolutely fantastic.

[@elvansavkl7972]

dear esther , you are great.And I am learning so much from you.I wish i knew all these things when i was living in USA.But I am happy that I made similar observations that you you made ,i just did not have experience.

[@mamalovesthebeach437]

Interesting thoughts about people wanting predictability and stability ... I grew up in a chaotic household with an alcoholic father. Lots of secrets and anger ... as a young woman I sought out adventure and danger - bad boys. I was married to a man for 26 years who was fun and adventurous but not emotionally available. I'm now married to a man who is laid back and emotionally stable. My first marriage suited me for the first 20 years but as I grew emotionally and we had a child I could no longer tolerate the emotional loneliness. In this 3rd chapter of my life my second husband and I are well-suited and love one another but I do still long for fun and adventure ... a little craziness and danger ...

[@byroncharles]

so why dont tell the hubby your desire and do it. take off work early and go to a hotel far away from home.

[@kegler27]

nobody is perfect. learn to appreciate what you have and work with your partner to develop other areas of the relationship!

[@georgecarenzo3890]

She's awesome! I have a few of her books and listen/watch all her videos. However, there is only one big problem. Who is going to live up to the concerns and ideal Esther has addressed? Where are we going to find men and women who are sincerely on the path towards cultivating a better relationship with others and a greater understanding of love? Not that I'm bragging, but in all that I've read and studied over the years regarding amorous relationships, I've become overqualified. I took me a long time to realize this and it's most likely the main reason why most women are not interested in me because they don't understand, for instance that the romantic love stories spoon fed into us since childhood made amorous love into an ideology and not as something that can evolve. When Doris Day was much older and on the Johnny Carson show and he asked her about the characters she played, she said.."oh, that. The goody two shoes, the virgin....*that was not human"* And I would amend that by saying the romantic comedies she helped create which were spoon fed into us since childhood conditioned us into believing in things that were not true because they were infected by fantasies and illusions. Alain De Bottom could not have said it any better. *_Romanticism has been a catastrophe for our capacity to have good long-term relationships. And if we want to have a chance of succeeding at love, we will have to be disloyal to many of the romantic emotions that got us into relationships in the first place. Romanticism has spelt trouble for our capacity to endure and thrive in long-term relationships_* kzbin.info/www/bejne/rF7Mhnuii8atgc0

[@Diamondkity]

Gee Cee damn, quite surprising to read you knowing that Esther is actually speaking of quite the opposite, not the ideal love but of the assumed decisions, assumed choice of a person from millions out there that could be better than the chosen partner yet stick to your choice as long as reasonably and both partners interested and working on the relationship. I’ve been watching her for few months and I never saw her speaking of idealistic relationships but rather of reasonable attainable things. And that’s why I find her by far one of the best I came across in her industry. Cause she doesn’t speak of the impossible or phantasmagoric rapports. Her wisdom, pragmatism & logic all together makes her relatable to both men & women! Which is the best part!

[@elvansavkl7972]

Dear Esther also , you are very open and intelligent. Everytime you are talking with a guy , they can not reach to yur intellectual level. It is very amusing.

[@LoveGuruGreg]

Yes, Esther is an extremely intelligent person... Why the gender reference though. She could be wit hanother woman or a man and still be the most intelligent.. Should not matter if she is in a discussion with a man.... Just my thoughts! Detroit's Love Guru ;)

[@carlosvettorazzi8147]

Intelligence comes in many different formats. Gardner’s Multiple Intelligences 1. Verbal-linguistic intelligence (well-developed verbal skills and sensitivity to the sounds, meanings and rhythms of words) 2. Logical-mathematical intelligence (ability to think conceptually and abstractly, and capacity to discern logical and numerical patterns) 3. Spatial-visual intelligence (capacity to think in images and pictures, to visualize accurately and abstractly) 4. Bodily-kinesthetic intelligence (ability to control one’s body movements and to handle objects skillfully) 5. Musical intelligences (ability to produce and appreciate rhythm, pitch and timber) 6. Interpersonal intelligence (capacity to detect and respond appropriately to the moods, motivations and desires of others) 7. Intrapersonal (capacity to be self-aware and in tune with inner feelings, values, beliefs and thinking processes) 8. Naturalist intelligence (ability to recognize and categorize plants, animals and other objects in nature) 9. Existential intelligence (sensitivity and capacity to tackle deep questions about human existence such as, What is the meaning of life? Why do we die? How did we get here? (Source: Thirteen ed online, 2004)

[@victoriap2519]

interesting - freedom in breaking rules, when for me it is freedom finds expression if only there is a clear path , like on the road with rules followed. It is hard to feel free when you are on the road like in india where rules are not watched .

[@regiz5358]

Needs to take trips to Brazil :-)

[@MrNicoleCherie]

Where is this video about consent they are talking about?

[@CaliLiliIndies]

OHHHHHH MY GOD this is FANTASTIC !!!!! ... I've recently completed a feature film + album ( eVe N'god this female is not yet rated ™© ) -- about this and related topics ... and ... i must say ... - i am so relieved to hear these valuable comments ... as i made the project, i wondered about how much "judgement" the project would receive from an overly "conservative" view which sometimes squelches our progress as humans, our humanity .... the judgement against the LGBTQ community as well as against women have become a terrible problem for growth ... - let's all be sure to realize how small and unhelpful that sort of judgement is ... and -- i say YES ! to everything in this brilliant talk .... - it has brought me the peace of mind that my project will be relatable to others ...we are all working out these important "dances" ... let's keep dancing ...

[@joshua_ch]

Actually consequences for men have not been as trivial as she makes it out. If you were caught cheating with someone's wife or daughter you could be killed for shit like that. So, infidelity never been that easy for men either.

[@elvansavkl7972]

And Trump is only result not the reason though

[@antonkoval6048]

Useless pseudointellectual

[@TheOlzee]

She goes on and on and on about desire. Relax darling, it fades somewhat over time that's ok, that's normal, that's when true love is either present or it is not. Stop being such a emotional and sexual junky and grow up. Maybe our culture can then get its self together again.

[@TheOlzee]

"What you're doing when you are cheating is reconnecting with lost parts of yourself" hahaha

[@Diamondkity]

TheOlzee said the expert 🤦‍♀️when one has nothing wise or smart to say better to 🤐

[@TheOlzee]

Cristina Cernei you better be quiet then