Final Fantasy VII Rebirth | Fully Ramblomatic

[@SecondWindGroup]

Join us tomorrow for our 12-hour charity stream as we raise money for AbleGamers! kzbin.infoFrMChwW1uMg?si=m44IPaIJGKXhxqLd Set a reminder at the link, especially if you want to see Yahtzee play Helldivers 2!

[@gogauze]

This is super relevant to me-because, ya know, disability sucks-and, I appreciate you guys doing events dedicated to supporting folks in rough situations. I know ya'll have done charity streams for disability and mental heath causes before, but it never fails to give me the warm and fuzzies. I'll definitely be there for, at least, part of the stream 💜

[@rocko7711]

❤️🎮🕹️👾❤️

[@rocko7711]

❤️🕹️❤️👾❤️🎮❤️

[@Dethmaster64]

Gwyneth Paltrow’s head as the face of Sephiroth made my brain turn into goop

[@gogauze]

I see what you did there. Also, I actually laughed out loud.

[@Gingrnut]

It gave me a tickle in *my* nether regions

[@dfmrcv862]

You... Clever... Commenter...

[@dubstepbee6892]

It's also a callback to his FF7 Renake EP1 video

[@Draqua]

Sephiroth branded Jade Eggs

[@bartz0rt928]

"Sephiroth looks like Gwyneth Paltrow" is one of my favorite Yahtzee jokes and I'm glad it's being kept fresh.

[@bluemooninthedaylight8073]

It's not just her face, but the fact it's her smug, self-satisficed face that nails it.

[@EmperorSeth]

It's a joke that's gone full circle because I think people made the same comparison to Tidus from FF10 back in the day. Oh, wait. I think that was Meg Ryan. But still!

[@MusicoftheDamned]

​@@EmperorSethYeah, Tidus was always Meg Ryan IIRC, which is also fitting since Meg Ryan is far less malicious than Gwyneth Paltrow.

[@bartz0rt928]

@@EmperorSeth Oh snap he totally does, never saw that joke.

[@ty_teynium]

Ya know, since the game is going the multiverse route, seeing a Gwyneth Paltrow universe Sephiroth really doesn't sound too bad an idea.

[@PeterMoxilin]

I will now be disappointed if "Yatzee's ice cream" isn't on the next quarterly expenses.

[@armorhide406]

if not, we riot

[@TeapotBird]

Second Wind, more like Second Scoop

[@grievuspwn4g3]

Yahtzee's Ice Cream: accountant says still no.

[@LegoBob4123]

It will be disguised as "research materials"

[@Sashko_Dee]

Plot Twist: You're an IRS agent and you just want an excuse to audit his ass.

[@Lemerney]

I told Audible Yahtzee sent me and they dropped me through the crocodile trapdoor

[@RatchetSly]

"WRONG LEVERRRrrrrrrrr..."

[@TaiWanWaf]

@@RatchetSly oh they knew what lever it was 😂

[@woot2111]

@@wesleythomas7125 Amazon: For people sent here by Yahtzee, obviously.

[@goldenfiberwheat238]

They sent me back in time and forced me to retreat through the Burmese swamp with the ijn in 1945. So pretty much the same experience

[@ActuatedGear]

@@wesleythomas7125 BECAUSE I DESERVE SOMETHING TODAY!

[@ArmageddonD11]

Every Cloud has its silver lining. In this case the silver lining is Sephiroth's massive katana.

[@harrygoad329]

Oh, is that what they're calling it now?

[@Pikashades]

It's a masamune, not a katana.

[@IsaacAllison]

Aerith Has Left Chat.

[@Garrus1995]

Can you imagine if they actually change that part of the story? I’m not sure if fans will love it because they love the character or if they’ll despise it for altering the plot too heavily.

[@frostsoul4199]

@@Andrew_TS weebs

[@MeTheOneth]

Let Yahtzee expense his ice cream, Nick!

[@SecondWindGroup]

Only if I get to expense my Mtn Dew!

[@Xenobears]

@@SecondWindGroup obviously you should-editors can’t caffeinate themselves! It’s a necessity for getting stuff done.

[@MeTheOneth]

@@SecondWindGroupWell, that only seems fair.

[@SecondWindGroup]

@@tedweird Noooo, my mother can't see where my salary is going!

[@dosbilliam]

@@SecondWindGroup There's actually been people who have managed to write off caffeine on their taxes. As someone who did myself, turns out third-shift really does get a lot better with energy drinks. :P

[@DanGamingFan2406]

Cloud as a Cockatiel and Sepheroth as Gwyneth Paltrow are the strangest and most hilarious visuals I've seen all week. And to some degree, both kinda fit.

[@watershipup7101]

You got that right.

[@waterbullstudios9195]

It's so good. Yahtzee's sense of humor never disappoints.

[@garnetbird7557]

I'm just imagining a little cocktail with a buster sword. lol.

[@mikedawolf95]

Wasn’t there a a mini section of the game where there’s a bird that exactly looks like cloud and they’re poking fun of him because it looks like him?

[@StevenUlyssesPerhero]

2:16 The funny thing is, that's not even 1997 silliness being preserved, that's new silliness being added in the 2020's. In the original, after Barret says a few parting words for his old friend and the father of the child he has adopted, a scene transition takes them back to the warden of the prison camp, who remarks that "maybe things will calm down around here now that you got rid of that crazy gu-" and Barret cuts off those disparaging remarks with the miniature map model equivalent of a death stare. Then Cloud takes an elevator up to the theme park's casino, wins the party's freedom in a race, and the strongman gives them the monster truck as an "I like your style, kid" parting gift.

[@Ramsey276one]

Thanks for reminding me of that F@(&ing moment! Fine, I'll buy it again on Switch. I never get tired of replaying old FF games anyway... 2:17

[@FFKonoko]

The mood whiplash is honestly still there, just shifted. So I think its still "preserving 97 weirdness", in vibe form rather than the exact same weirdness. 😂 Like the battle rap?

[@Ramsey276one]

@@FFKonoko the WAT

[@prcervi]

@@FFKonoko they put it in the wrong order though so it comes off even worse done

[@OversoulGaming]

It's anime silliness and jrpgs are basically interactive anime

[@outoftouchnetwork]

+1 for Walrus accuracy

[@TheSmart-CasualGamer]

Goo Goo Gjoob!

[@Ziel23987]

fibsh

[@soldier257]

You know he enjoyed making that noise a little too much.

[@adamloga3788]

You know, it kinda slipped by me for a sec, but the fact that Yahtzee was willing to engage in a mini-game that he didn't like for the sake of preserving an NPC's feelings is actually a subtle note that it has to be doing SOMETHING right. After all, this is a man who has notoriously not given a crap about a lot of other games' MAIN characters because they just did not give him a reason to. For him to be unwilling to disappoint an NPC is an achievement in-and-of-itself.

[@DavidFostertheFirst]

And he praised the Dyne sequence!

[@Kreiser_VII]

If I remember correctly, he has said before that he hates conflict with NPCs and tends to pick the option that will make them happy, and since the protagonists are meant to do what the player tells them to, having Yahtzee be mad at them makes sense since the dynamic is different. "You're part of the world? Alright, Imma try to be pleasant so we can leave each other alone in good terms" "You're meant to be me? Then why the fuck haven't you done what I told you to, you stupid air headed bastard?!"

[@adamloga3788]

@Kreiser_VII a fair point, though I do not recall him saying that, it is entirely possible that as a primarily ZP and FR viewer that I just missed it.

[@dubstepbee6892]

Cloud Strife as a cockatiel is something i didn't know I needed but glad I have Imagine a cute little birdie holding a bird sized buster sword in between his little wings

[@0LoneTech]

It's literally in the game, of course.

[@saltyk9869]

You haven’t seen Cloud Jr I take it.

[@pocketpc_]

I enjoyed when Yahtz cast himself as Cockatiel Cloud's new boyfriend

[@Vesperitis]

Now picture Cockatiel Cloud riding a Chocobo.

[@TheCyclicGamer]

And then you have Sephiroth as the red birb going "YeuYeuYeuYeuYeuYeu *STARE SOUND*"

[@williamhenby952]

I've noticed that "about a mile wide and an inch thick" is a good description for almost every currently available AAA game.

[@LeeorVardi]

Baldur’s Gate 3

[@Ramsey276one]

And inch THIN, actually!

[@alexgrunde6682]

Result of game by corporate committee. There’s no vision, no auteur’s voice, just throwing as many mechanics and gameplay styles in as possible to cover as many bases as possible, and do it in an already established franchise to minimize risk.

[@gangwolfgamer]

Funny enough, out of all the variety of mechanics in this game the card game is something I would point out as an exception, but it was the one he didn't want to touch the most xD

[@bubbasbigblast8563]

@@LeeorVardi BG3 isn't AAA: a game needs a major publisher to be AAA, because it's mostly a gauge of easy access to credit and marketing.

[@dosbilliam]

For what it's worth, this IS the remake of the game that ended up naming "Sidetracked by the Gold Saucer."

[@goldchampion200]

​@@michaeljohnson6905 Don't know that yet. At least i'm not convinced yet.

[@goldchampion200]

@@matthewmuir8884 i mean i disagree but i bet my definition of "Remake" is different from yours. A "Remake" uses its source as a base but its free to add/deviate from it as long as the skeleton/major beats are still there. To Use Rebirth as our current example Midgar -> Chocobo Farm -> Mythril Caves -> Junon etc We're still hitting the same beats even if the exact way it plays out is different A "Reimagining" to me is like how you go from Mario being a 2d Platformer to an RPG for example (Paper Mario, Mario and Luigi Games). You keep the broad strokes and constants like Mario, Peach, Bowser, Mushroom Kingdom etc but everything else changes

[@dosbilliam]

@@matthewmuir8884 The first one's explicitly CALLED Remake, and considering the macro-level series of events are the same and the story is entirely based on avoiding the events of the original...remake is still accurate.

[@TheFoolishSamurai]

Its a weird mess that both remakes and reimagines everything There, now everyone has their preferred words being used

[@goldchampion200]

@@matthewmuir8884 i dunno man. If we go by dictionary definition you posted i still think it falls within the remake umbrella and just for your awareness i did read and reread it to make sure i understood it. I don't really have anything else to say about it doe.

[@Sadarak1980]

Summary: the best reviewed final fantasy game yahtzee has ever played. "And take that for the massively qualified praise that it is. "

[@CaptainGCN]

Honestly, it's pretty effusive praise for a JRPG by Yahtzee's standards.

[@Sadarak1980]

I actually loved it, and from yahtzee for a final fantasy game (not even a jrpg, I have a feeling he secretly likes any jrpg that does slice of life) this was as good a reception as could have been hoped for :)

[@Sadarak1980]

@maninblack3410 I respect your opinion but couldn't disagree more. I think the characterisation in rebirth is well done, and I like the whimsy that all the diversions and minigames add as it brings back the spirit of the origonals. Cloud is meant to be pretty damn nuts by this point so his behaviour is fine, as is the party's because they all already knew he had a screw loose. My least favorite part of the new games is the focus on zack, I played crisis core back in the day and I still don't care about him much and don't care much about his segments. That said I think they nailed it with this outing, just a shame the sales likely mean cut budget for the last game is all.

[@Sadarak1980]

@maninblack3410 I meant more crazy outside of being directly controlled, as in he thinks he's something he isn't, I think they handle that fairly well considering how much expansion a modern game requires for character work. I actually care about him and the crew and for me that's a success. The lower sales are only surprising for the fact that square themselves seemed to expect better, which considering as you said there's no way someone could start with this game and also it's ps5 only it was inevitable. I just hope they stick the landing, the tone of the next game is going to be drastically different, and their experiments in multiverse still have the jury out for me. My main take away though is this, despite everything else it's probably the best rpg combat system I have come across welded to a cast of characters I honestly care about. The main plot and how it pans is almost cream on top in comparison :)

[@crackedemerald4930]

"unnecessarily prolonged perhaps, but not as much as the first game" my dumbass looked at the box art and thought "the first final fantasy game?" and then "oh he must mean the prequel to the remake of the seventh final fantasy game. but it could also be the original, seventh sequel." and now my brain is tired.

[@OversoulGaming]

Wouldn't the prequel to the remake of the seventh Final Fantasy game technically be the remaster of crisis core?

[@cashnelson2306]

Why was it this confusing for you? This is the second part in a trilogy, not exactly tough to keep up with

[@TheRoboKitty]

​@@cashnelson2306He's mocking Square Enix for milking the FF7 sub series too much

[@MysteriousJojo]

Using the Frank mask for Tifa is an excellent deep cut

[@SgtDax]

I KNEW I recognised it. Thank you.

[@Blake_Stone]

This pretty much matches my memory of the middle of the original FFVII.

[@NotFunctional-ever]

He's just forgetting that giant worm that screws you over, and it would perfectly sum up my middle game experience.

[@nekomimi2600]

Yep the remake of the middle portion did not fix the pacing issues it always had but highlight it in 4K HD

[@MartinRudat]

@@NotFunctional-ever You mean you weren't meant to grind until you could kill the meat gate only to be told, "Yo, the plot is that way"? =)

[@Ryusuta]

Man, I can't wait until the Final Fantasy 7 reboot is finally finished. See you guys around 2030 for that glorious day.

[@rogue_of_the_winds1286]

If my math is right, these "fans" are going to pay over 200 dollars for a remake of a game I've owned for 25 years. Gaming is being ruined by adult children that spend money in such asinine ways. One game. 70 bucks, made with love. Why is that so hard.

[@mateoreyes6921]

Final Fantasy? I thought this was the prelude to Kingdom Hearts 4

[@dychostarr]

​@@rogue_of_the_winds1286 ...You good?

[@FFKonoko]

​@rogue_of_the_winds1286 have you not played any of them? Cos...thinking of it as a remake is literally wrong. 😅 That was the whole point of the ending of remake, where after a game where they added a ton of content, fleshed out the bare bones original, they outright showed the intent of fate being destroyed, things being able to go different ways. And rebirth continued that. I finished ff7 agaib before playing remake, and 100%ing that game took less time than 100%ing remake. And rebirth, I hit over 100 hours of enjoyment on the first run, with more content to come on hard mode. Calling each game a third of a single game simply isnt accurate. Hell, I had fun noting how basically every other game was getting gently repped in some way. I love ff7, and it is a classic and always will be. But you seem like a real "fan". Did you react like this for dirge of cerebus? 😂

[@NN010]

If Part 3 is able to be developed in a similar amount of time as Rebirth (about 3 years), then it should be out in 2027. We’ll see though

[@NinetyNineNo]

I have a lot of gripes with it but man, the combat is fantastic. Improved from Remake in several ways and shockingly varied and deep. Love the enemy designs too.

[@loziclec.1295]

I'm really enjoying Rebirth, but everytime I have to slowly climb up a wall, I think to myself "the PS5 has an SSD; it'd literally be faster to loading screen up the wall."

[@Flyon86]

People seem to foam at the mouth now if you have an actual loading screen in a game because it ruins "immersion" or something. I'd rather have a 30 second loading screen than have to push forward while the character very slowly edges forward through a tight crevice.

[@Pholadis]

what if you pressed the button to climb the wall and the game just faded out and faded up to the party being on top of the wall

[@SirCanuckelhead]

The old resident evil opening door loading screen was brilliant.

[@weclock]

Don't forget how slow the Chocobo stop repair process is.

[@TheJadedJames]

Death to loading screens! Squeezing through crevices forever!

[@activatewindows]

Can’t wait for FFVII: Afterbirth.

[@sarafontanini7051]

final fantasy 7: still birth Final fantasy 7: abortion Final fantays 7: the cringy emo punk teen phase

[@sithdude2436]

Final Fantasy 7 Repentance when

[@wertyppl]

Or Birth By Sleep... oh wait

[@KeithFraser82]

FFVII: Regurgitation

[@ArmoredChocoboLPs]

@@sarafontanini7051 FF7: Abortion already happened, they just called it Advent Children for some goddamned reason.

[@catkaboodle]

This is a really good review. I appreciate that he openly admitted he didn't like it but still put in the effort to analyze the game objectively (and succeeded).

[@hinasakukimi]

seems to me he enjoyed it despite some flaws

[@tommyvercetti9434]

The thing is that they took the little silly moments of the original and turn them into full fledged scenes. In the original the dog disguised as a human and the joke was seeing a soldier stumbling around, go talk to him and realize it was the dog. Then he says something about having done a good job with the disguise only to turn around and show that his tail wasn't covered. In this game they have the dog imitating Michael Jackson with moonwalk and everything in front of the whole cruise while music plays and the lights are on him.

[@andysan3764]

And don't even get me started on the Superbowl Halftime Show that occurs when you enter the Gold Saucer. The amount of tonal whiplash in Rebirth is absurd.

[@GrandArchPriestOfTheAlgorithm]

Thank you, I needed someone else to notice that Tifa dresses like a sport dominatrix.

[@colinmckenzie5900]

She's a crossfit coach, which is basically the same thing.

[@jacobstair7311]

I noticed the same thing with the battles, and I think it's the enemies. In the first part it seems like you could get by fine just button mashing attack until everything was dead. In Rebirth sometimes they're nearly immune to physical attacks, or you have to hit them a certain way, or with a certain spell, or some characters can damage them easier than others.

[@fearingalma1550]

I talked this over with my PS5 owning friend and I’m pretty sure it’s because the Deadly Dodge materia is now just part of the move set normally, so it flows a lot better

[@JaguarBrakeNerd]

Bless you for using Gwyneth Paltrow as the template for Sephirot. That made my day

[@SmashBrosOdyssey64]

I like how it's a common conception that Red is Barret's dog. Abridged has wormed its way into the zeitgeist

[@brianmckee2267]

Talking dog best friend

[@briannelson27]

@@brianmckee2267 OH MY GOD WERE BEST FRIENDS?!?

[@dihyaneverforget5163]

I told Audible Yahtzee sent me and they gave me a surcharge.

[@hydriumetern7808]

Honestly, if anything they made the Dyne scene less traumatic as they cut out Dyne killing himself and warning Barrett to never ever make Marlene cry just before he does, they also cut out Barrett remarking how he's no more worthy to hold Marlene because he has blood on his hands too. I dunno why they cut this out and just transitioned to a stale Dyne dies to a last stand but it really cut the weight of the moment.

[@PaulDozierZZoMBiE13]

GOOP being Sephiroth literally made me laugh like a hyena. Well done. EDIT- I think this was the funniest Yahtzee video in a while. Not that they aren't all entertaining, mind. Just this one managed to make me laugh out loud at least 3 times. Which is a rarity these days since life sucks and everything is awful. So, you know, thanks for topping up the joy reserve for a few more hours. Perhaps we've staved off my official meltdown for at least another day.

[@hairyson94]

Seems almost fitting that Maximilian Dood's final review/thoughts on FF7 Rebirth and Yahtzee's FR were both uploaded to youtube on the same day

[@leithaziz2716]

Inside You There Are Two Wolves:

[@raulrojas9253]

and max was predictable "Love it 10 out 10" While at least yatzee...hmm you know I still don't like it. Can't take Max opinion about FF 7 seriously.

[@palladiamorsdeus]

@@raulrojas9253 Can't trust Doods opinion on ANYTHING Final Fantasy. I don't know if the guy is just easily pleased, a shill, or both but if it has that Final Fantasy name on it he jizzes all over himself.

[@captainpep3]

@@palladiamorsdeus brother you do realize he was critical of FF16?

[@Pholadis]

@@palladiamorsdeus he's said that ff7 is his favorite game of all time and makes no attempt to hide it. he's not a shill, he's just a fan that's heavily biased in favor of ff7

[@Id0nthavename]

That walrus sound was precious

[@saviordd1]

Thanks!

[@ramirezthesilvite]

Even Brentalfloss pointed out the minigame overload of the original. A good chunk of Final Fantasy VII With Lyrics was just about the minigames

[@chillhour6155]

Squeenix Pissing about: re-queef

[@Kytetiger]

The synergy system really brought something to the feeling of beeing in a team. In the 1st game, i could just use 1 character during many of the fights. Here there is an incentive to change characters to build atb then do a synergy attack, it's gratifying and create interactions between the characters. Same with the side quest linked to specific team member

[@silvercakes]

Agreed, although in classic Square Enix fashion they did an absolutely shitup job of explaining it and I had no idea how to use Synergies properly for about half the game, playing on Dynamic, until the difficulty caught up with me and I looked it up online. Their UX team really needs to do serious work (both menus and tutorials).

[@rleeton1]

@@silvercakes Yeah kinda agree on this one. Some of the wording on what the utilities of each ability are can be really confusing. Kinda had to just figure those out through trial and error. Super rewarding once I'd got my head around them though. I've only now just found out after completing the game that the descriptions under each ATB command sometimes have a little bar next them signifying how many synergy pips it gives to a character when you use them...

[@gogauze]

I knew, in my heart, that Yahtz wouldn't like Rebirth. Conversely, I'm having a lovely time with it. His jabs are still hilarious, though. Swinging for the fences, with Gwyneth Paltrow as Sephiroth, was a literal laugh-out-loud moment.

[@yserareborn]

Honestly, as far as games he didn't like go, this is about as glowing as it gets for him. He admits he enjoyed things and even said parts of the story were well told.

[@andreidikranvasilescu6182]

I'm honestly surprised he didn't go further in on it. Not only are there a million mini games, jimmity cock whatever open world, and other gameplay elements, but they're all so half baked that its clear they were made by hungover developers siloed in different teams who never played a single game that did every one of those mechanics better at some point. Even walking around the world is janky af. He touched on some of this, but I guess the game has its charm that can make you more readily overlook some of it.

[@FFKonoko]

Yeah, this is a reasonable review, and very understandable. Likewise though, having a blast, currently working through hard mode and getting all the extra monsters and such cleared.

[@leithaziz2716]

Bro, my favorite game of all time is The Witcher 3. A game Yatzhee probably thought was bland (in terms of game design, I would hardly call the game an achievement). Sometimes, you just gotta hold your stance and accept you ain't gonna convince everyone to like what you do, for valid or invalid reasons. The real strength is when you take the criticism and still love the game for what it means to you.

[@conor6436]

I mean... he doesn't really LIKE many games now, does he? That's kind of his thing

[@Indiscrimi]

It was seeing Cloud the parakeet siezuring on the floor that did it for me.

[@TaranAlvein]

4:08 - Wait, swapping their Materia around? Did the remakes not keep the Exchange system, which lets you just swap Materia 1-to-1 with another party member?

[@MisterVercetti]

To give you an idea of just how much Squeenix plans on milking this thing for all it's worth, remember that the OG FFVII was a three-disc game. Then realize that we're two parts into the remake and _we're still not even at the end of the first disc yet._

[@reed3863]

Facts. And they've been milking the FF7 franchise a lot already

[@Centrioless]

Most plot was in disc one tho. In disc 2, it's mostly the open world thing. Disc 3 is only for final fight

[@saltyk9869]

They have long since said it would be three parts. Half the reason the OG needed three discs was the extremely long cut scene at the end of the game.

[@geoffreywilson7008]

The third disc was half ramp up to fighting Sephiroth, and half Knights of the Round and train animations for during the fight with him.

[@DavidFostertheFirst]

Its a trilogy, one game left. The three disks had nothing to do with game length, the entire game is on all three disks (a fact speedrunners are well acquainted with). It was because of the huge filesize of the FMVs that it had to be split up.

[@CJBooks4]

I had a weird night last night, so seeing this helped brighten my day!😄💖

[@justinsinke2088]

Oddly enough, even though the sequence with Dyne did have me honestly tearing up, I thought it was more impactful in the original game. It felt like they tried too hard to make it a grand boss fight that they forget to keep it making sense, and I think would have been more fun if they'd kept it a smidge more grounded instead of (SPOILER)*** going all Resident Evil boss fight for no explainable reason ***(SPOILER). And while there's only a few scenes from the original game I actually remember visually vividly, one of those scenes was Barret saying "...my hands ain't any cleaner". I really wish they'd at least kept that line somewhere.

[@chrisdaughen5257]

That RE part of the fight made me think. Even Barrett didn't know how Dyne was doing that. I'm not expecting it, but I wouldn't be surprised if Sephiroth had something to do with it. Had the Ever Crisis guys (who are apparently running Avalanche), into "helping" another Shinra hater that had ties to the FF7 party.

[@jlan7844]

Well, Yuffie (AKA Kooky Ninja Girl) WAS a fan favorite of the original FF7. At least to those who managed to find her. She was originally an optional secret unlock in FF7, which is why her transition to full team member was so convoluted in Rebirth. Its an homage to the crazy unlock conditions (involving, but not limited to, random encounters on certain map tiles and specific dialogue choices) needed to recruit her in the original.

[@michaeloverton04]

Just showing Gwenyth Paltrow as Sephiroth without even mentioning him caught me so off guard, I'm not sure what I expected when I saw Cloud as a parakeet.

[@kevingriffith6011]

5:24 You heard him, Modders. You know what to do.

[@Marksman3434]

Sephiroth being depicted as Gwyneth Paltrow is killing me (in a good way 🤣)

[@patmurf1]

I love this game and yet, this is exactly what I both expected and wanted Yahtzee's review to be.

[@Zenn_Chan]

I've never heard someone describe Tifa as a "Crossfit themed dominatrix" and yet I can't think of a better description for her attire.

[@musicalbacon2]

This is probably my favorite episode of the new series so far. Great job everyone

[@七百七十七]

Yeah, the editing was particularly on point

[@PendragonDaGreat]

Nick, you better approve that tub of Ice Cream!

[@SpellboundTutor]

I mean, you mentioned that Barrett scene and it wasn't the strongman in a red cape that pulled me out of it. It was the scene right before that which gave me tonal whiplash so hard it almost snapped my goddamn neck.

[@NN010]

I have to agree. By the time the strongman showed up, the ridiculous mech boss fight with a stun mechanic involving a fat corporate executive waving his butt at you had already well and truly undermined the emotional weight of that Barrett scene. Shame given how well done said Barrett scene was and how frustrating the mech fight was.

[@awtodor]

I'm always confused by this take because it's meant to have tonal whiplash with palmer. The whole point Dyne death makes is that Shinra will keep coming and their plight against Shinra is insignificant and will be forgotten by an ice cream cone by those at the top of Shinra.

[@silvercakes]

@@awtodor I got that and assumed it was at least somewhat intentional, I'm just mad about it. Would've helped if the party acknowledge it in some way to guide the tone. As is, it felt spliced, like some content got copy-pasted into the wrong part of the game.

[@TheGiggleMasterP]

I'll wait for the third one to come out and play all 3 at once.

[@mateoreyes6921]

I'll just play a modded version of the original, atleast there they did'nt ruined the Aeris death

[@Teddy_L0ve]

I don't think even the most die-hard fan could stomach 250+ hours of this uninterrupted.

[@rd-um4sp]

you underestimate FF fans. They're only slightly better than nintendo fans. Which is not saying much.

[@palladiamorsdeus]

​@@rd-um4spNah, just the core ones. And most of those guys only jumped on ship in XIII. Most of the old crew has left and VII remakes sales numbers reflect that. Some of us have Remake a try and were disgusted so we didn't come back for Rebirth. You are spot on with the remaining fan base though and honestly I think they give the Nintendo crowd a run for their money.

[@Tohlemiach]

@@palladiamorsdeus really bizarre to me how people get so upset at the fact that someone else likes something different. Why the animosity? I absolutely love the Remake project and both games are among my favorites of all time and I enjoy them far more than the original, and I played it when I was like 10 years old about 20 years ago. Where does this "us vs them" mindset come from? Can you not just be happy for people that are enjoying what they consider to be a brilliant recapitulation and expansion of one of their favorite childhood experiences? You don't have to enjoy it yourself, but why the dehumanizing language? Is that really necessary?

[@benjiusofficial]

Surprised Sephiroth didn't intervene in the making of this video.

[@ObeseChess]

I think the beginning of this finally gets at what bothered me about the remakes from an angle I hadn’t considered too closely: at the opening of Rebirth you’ve already found and fought Sephiroth, so now you’re just going through the motions.

[@beccangavin]

The manic pixie dream girls making fists and squatting! I haven’t played the game but I can totally see that. I exactly what that squat looks like.

[@merlotwilliams]

"'Be careful what you wish for, it might just come true.' - Aesop's Fables A commonly used idiom, a variation of the Yiddish curse, 'May you get what you wish for.' serves as a stark warning of the unintended consequences of a seemingly idealistic outcome... Arguably popularized in modern culture by the classic 'Deal with the Devil' cinematic trope, the actualization of our most self indulgent fantasies can often achieve the exact opposite of it's intended conclusion." - Porsalin We just wanted FFVII but prettier Square. That's all we wanted. Thank God Nintendo jerked the leash with Mario RPG and it turned out exactly as it needed to be.

[@ObieCS2]

I went into The Witcher 3 feeling about Gwent the same way as Yahtzee, but it turned out to be one of my favorite parts of the game. Partly because that's where the most intense "fights" and last-second turning of tables happen, not so much in the actual combat.

[@devilmikey00]

I've seen it said in another comment section but it was bang on. This feels much more like a Yakuza game than a ffvii game. It's so chocked full of side stuff in every single area where it feels more like the side stuff is the main stuff.

[@billmore6486]

Ff used to be all about silly mini games in ps1 ps2 era

[@devilmikey00]

​@@billmore6486sure it had them but they were usually a small part of a much larger adventure and could easily be ignored. Here, much like Yakuza, the game gives you decent tangible rewards for doing all this side stuff. It's EVERYWHERE and it's practically begging you to just ignore the forward progress of the plot. The plot feels positively secondary through large chunks of the game.

[@Arkayruz]

@@billmore6486 No, no they weren't.

[@XainRussell]

Oh thank god someone else thought there was an obscene over abundance of Mini games.

[@chrisdaughen5257]

It was done to make up for the lack of them in FF16. That game was a desert compared to Rebirth.

[@briannelson27]

yeah, but way less than in the ps1 ff7, so it is lacking

[@maxwellsterling]

The partial squat reminds me of a trend that existed when I was growing up where women took pictures doing a collective partial squat because standing straight was too normal or something, so they collectively decided to be different at the exact same time and in the exact same way.

[@megashillyshally]

3:54 You should start selling figurines / plushies of your representation of the Party Members here, they're just as charming as the Polygonal ones Squenix did. Though I'd imagine it might be difficult getting Gwyneth Paltrow to sign off of being Sephiroth's head.

[@mrpetielicious5861]

Bout to finish the latest Jacques McKeown novel. Top notch mate, well done.

[@sarahleonard7309]

And now I have the Inspector Gadget theme song stuck in my head. Thanks a lot Yahtzee!

[@keyblader007]

I was at a loss for now Zero Punctuation when I saw this pop up on a twitter post and found out what happened. Glad to see you are back in a new form. I gotta catch up with these new ZP types now lol.

[@NineBreakerUIXB]

I'm rarely disappointed with Yahtzee's work but then again that fits perfectly with how I felt about Rebirth. I pre-ordered, pre-installed and I'm only about 60 hours in almost at the gold saucer. Unlike Yahtzee I played both the original and remake to death and loved them both so believe me he is not exaggerating when he complains about the directionless story and all the pissing around. Honestly it's like they looked at every popular game from the last few years and tried to cram in as many bits from each as possible. Most of it tho is very obviously 'inspired' by Witcher 3 and Ghost of Tsushima, I spend 2/3 of the time playing spot the stolen game mechanic and the other 1/3 looking for the Final Fantasy 7 storyline. How the fuck did they manage to make the world bigger, more densely packed, prettier and yet somehow so much more boring than in the previous two games? The sheer amount of pointless mini games that I have no interest in but am forced to play is astounding, eventually I warmed up to Queen's Blood but still found myself occasionally shouting 'ffs you are Not Gwent'. I'm someone who feels compelled to clear every area before moving on and it's just an absolutely uninspired slog that's compounded by the fact that Chadly never shuts the fuck up.

[@snakething87]

Whenever I see those yellow ledges in games nowadays, I flash back to LoZ Majora’s Mask where you have to climb an invisible ladder maze that you can only see using an item that drains your magic.

[@bricken10]

Back when most games were good out of necessity because they couldn't just be patched later. And the ones that were bad sank their company for the next 30 years.

[@syelallouch]

When they finally finish all of the remake six games from now, I wonder if they'll release a single compilation game with all of them stuck together. How many discs would that need, I wonder?

[@steppenhenge]

just one, made of paper, with a download code on it.

[@Neon002121]

If this version of Sephiroth started selling crystals or alternative health products, I’d be interested!

[@AndyManX1226]

Thank God someone validates me on how I feel about Queen's Blood (I don't have a problem, shut up). It's not that the game exists. Even though it's not really for me, the puzzle sections are really fun. But it's just that the game wants to force it on you at several points. In the Dustbowl for getting the greens needed to progress, I only found two of the options for getting greens before I found the QB section so I spend an hour losing over and over because I have done literally nothing with QB and now feel forced to win three matches. That's just bad design for anyone who is focusing on the story.

[@Barakon]

3:15 Don’t you mean a brain damaged cockatiel? (This joke is really funny btw, as someone who used to have budgies this is fucking funny, I actually laughed at it.)

[@garywood97]

I absolutely loved this game, but I do think it really needs to say on the box, in big red letters "YOU MUST PLAY THE ORIGINAL TO UNDERSTAND THIS CRAP"

[@sarafontanini7051]

oh yeah, more people need to now this isn't a REPLACEMENT for the original and you really ned to play the original game to get the full experience

[@weclock]

I'll be honest, I did play the original and a lot of this crap still doesn't make any sense. Why are we throwing boxes as Cait Sith when we have a man with a gun arm?

[@DeadMech1]

@@weclock Gotta do something to make the new guy on the team feel valuable.

[@lieberte]

you don't tho. My friends played it without playing OG and enjoyed it. Just had an extra sense of mystery to it

[@ForrestFox626]

So it isn't even standalone?

[@Herrikias]

Every fart is the tune of good fortune, delivering a whiff of all our hopes and dreams.

[@dogryme6]

Yahtzee's funniest review hands down. I've never seen him hit it off so well just talking about a remake.

[@marcelofeijao8411]

The fact that Cloud is a Cockatiel's head made me laugh so hard and I just can't unsee it now!

[@Zorgdub]

I was confused about who this "Manic Pixie girl B" was until Yathzee talked about the ninja joining the party as Mani Pixie Girl C. Turns out he was talking about Wholesome Childhood Friend A all along! (which is funny because the one who is *actually* a childhood friend is the Manic Pixie Girl A who wears a dominatrix cross fit outfit).

[@sindrisuncatcher653]

Maybe it's just me, but I got the vibe that manic pixie dream girl A and manic pixie dream girl B were way more into each other than either of them was into the male lead. Also the one dressed like a crossfit dominatrix is constantly acting all gentle and wholesome and nurturing and stuff, while the one in the pretty floral gown who sells flowers is kinda fucked up actually.

[@KingOfElectricNinjas]

One of the things that FFVII seems to be fondly remembered for, and that people were pleasantly surprised S-E actually remembered, is that a lot of the characters have hidden depths that are the opposite of the stereotype they appear to be, like the boxing tomboy being sweet at heart while the pretty elegant priestess is actually hard as nails at her core.

[@ryonalionthunder]

@@sindrisuncatcher653 …Well now you’ve convinced me to check it out. They should put you on the marketing team.

[@paladin181]

@@maninblack3410 That's not really accurate. The original was rife with terrible pacing and issues in the story telling. Don't let the nostalgia goggles blind you to think is was a great game. People wouldn't have been clamoring for a remaster/remake so much if it was actually really good. They would have been satisfied with it. Instead, they got obsessed with how almost good it was, andreally wanted Square to redo it and hopefully fix those issues.

[@rleeton1]

​@@maninblack3410 Maybe in certain fan communities you might struggle to find that. I've played through OG twice in the past 5 years. Once without mods, once with graphical and New Threat 2.0 mods, even watched full streams of it with a couple of different creators alongside those playthroughs and I fully agree with what @paladin181 said. The combat in OG doesn't present much challenge, most of the minigames feel incredibly clunky and a good chunk of the towns just feel like places to pick up your next level of gear and move on, without having much of a sense of being lived in and only a barebones sketch of their history and place in the world, even if you speak to every single NPC there. Didn't feel that way at the time (think it was 1999 when I first played it) but as time went on and games became more expansive and ambitious in scope, I wanted to see a more fully realised version of that world and it's characters. This was further amplified by watching Advent Children (even if the dialogue and storytelling in AC can get pretty rough at points). OG FFVII was my favourite game of all time but this is the best it has ever been for me personally

[@fieryphoenix82]

Using a cockatiel's head for Cloud has got to be the greatest FF joke anyone has ever come up with.

[@SocksAndPuppets]

I always felt that the plot of -most- final fantasy games leaves you wondering what the character's actual plan is... sometimes you have a goal, but no idea how to accomplish it, and sometimes you know what you're doing, but you have no idea why. In the moment it can be hard to notice, because you're ricocheting from one dramatic set piece to the next like a pinball, and that's very distracting... but if I ever sit down and think to myself "so where are we going and why again?" I'm left with very little to hold onto. The majority of the original FF7 has me this way, especially the middle. We need to find Sephiroth... for some reason maybe... but we have no idea where he is, and no direction or goal other than "well there's more unexplored areas that way" Weirdly, FFX is the one game in the series where I never had that feeling. While I didn't really like most of the characters, I DID know what they were trying to do and *why* for about 90% of the game - and so did all of the characters. Except Tidus, who's excuse is that he's an idiot.

[@kellevichy]

Padded. Not huge, padded. It barely has story content in it at all and what there is constantly contradicts itself or inserts pole holes they don't care to correct or address because "look at the pretty graphics".

[@lundylow]

5:27 Daniel Floyd (Play Frame) pointed out in Remake how even though the localization of dialogue is vastly improved, there's not much you can do about different body language mannerisms just not matching up cross-culturally.

[@The2econd3vil3xes]

3:34 "...in the sense that Nicolas Cage is a good actor. It's only true about half the time." THANK YOU, FINALLY SOMEONE WITH SENSE

[@BigFatOfFate]

Yeah, people praise Nicolas just a bit too much.

[@cherminatorDR]

Already bought it! Damn, that was a long wait for the last book in the trilogy!

[@brockhall8209]

Appreciate the reference to "Frank" with the mache mask. I am hoping that a Semi-Remblomatic is released explaining why the wild tone shifts and mini games aren't working here for you when you seem to be either accepting of or amused by them in Yakuza or Suda51 games. It would be a great addition to your game theory essays, like your issues with the character and plot frictions shown in games like Horizon 2.

[@goldenfiberwheat238]

2:25 reminds me of how in the family guy episode where Brian dies after he gets hit by the car and is lying on the pavement all mangled up a squirrel walks up and spits on him and says “hated that guy”

[@davehughes7523]

I mean…he’s actually made me want to play this more than I was already hyped about 😂

[@HuntingCatIsBack]

Nice to see the very much missed Frank Sidebottom making a cameo.

[@stevejakab274]

While I like the game a lot, including Queen's Blood and the goofier bits, I do mostly agree about the tonal whiplash during Barret's big scene, although not the particulars. Dio didn't bother me, it was the slapstick fight against Palmer that I had a problem with. I know they needed to stick it in somewhere, since they cut Rocket Town, but they should have put it in a better place.

[@EmperorSeth]

The middle part of this game is what I call the Fantasy Road Trip narrative. Not as contrived as the McGuffin Hunt, but at least in that case, you have an overt reason to be at each location. The actual "plot" plot doesn't kick in again until you get to the Ancient Temple in this case, though at least most of the cast gets at least one good character arc. This solidifies me in "old fart" territory, but this is one of the reasons I prefer FF6 to 7. Your primary goal changes every location or two as the plot develops.

[@roboknobthesnob]

The best part of these reviews is waiting for the pissed off comments saying that Yahtzee is the Antichrist for not liking the game that defines their entire personality

[@elhazthorn918]

It's been years, and I STILL can't believe they split the game apart like this.

[@TonyTheTGR]

.hack did this on PS2 first, so this is actually a remake of a demake

[@superjew837]

Thank you for confirming whether this one is 2 or 3

[@0mni42]

Rebirth has got to be the most weirdly expansive game I've ever seen. Like, every big AAA game likes to brag about its scope, but once you've explored one area of Breath of the Wild or Horizon you've pretty much seen the full extent of the game's breadth. But in Rebirth, every few hours so far has had at least one moment of "I can't believe we're doing this." From moonwalking talking dogs to an "assassinate the president!" minigame to a storyline ripped straight out of YuGiOh, I can honestly say I never have any idea what buckwild shit the game is going to throw at me next. This is probably the wildest ride a game has ever taken me on. And sometimes it sucks--I'm never going to forget the time I went up an elevator only for it to stop halfway up and force me to play a completely pointless shooting gallery minigame before the elevator would keep moving--but at some point you just gotta sit back and enjoy the ride.

[@silvercakes]

My theory is that the Cait Sith box throwing section was a new design subteam's opportunity to gain some experience. It all felt so out of place and tonally dissonant, even for a game this expansive.

[@Mr_Muda_Himself]

Can’t wait for Final Fantasy VII Revamped, Revitalization and lastly regression

[@Vanta_Blue]

Don't forget Retirement and Return. Possibly followed by Reimagined, Restored, and Rewound.

[@tornadoawe]

Revive, Restart, Renew, Read-this-please-this-is-a-cry-for-help. Maybe they're taking a page from Atlus and only releasing FF XVII when they remake VII, XVI times.

[@Ohmargod]

There's even more! FF 7 Resuscitated, Reestablished, Reloaded, Regurgitated, Resold and finally, Rest in Piece

[@FFKonoko]

All these, and noone said the actual final part, reunion. 😅

[@Vanta_Blue]

Reunion is after Rest-In-Piece though, so that checks out.

[@Minjoph]

Glad it seems at least ONE person out there isn't head over heels in love with manic pixie A, B or C.

[@ForrestFox626]

I still don't see the appeal

[@manjiimortal]

A big issue FF7 had in its original form, and still has now, is that during the middle part of the game, after Sephiroth kills the Shinra President, and up until he summons the Doomsday Meteor, the playable party has no agency on the game. They're simply following up , trying to catch up to the murderous silver-haired dude with a massive sword, for very vague poorly-explained reasons, and they happen to go on a trip around-the-world because of that. At the start of the game, in Midgard, they have a clearly defined objective to strive towards, and at the end of the game they regain a clearly defined objective to guide their action, but in-between those moments they're only a passive party on what's happening, while Jenova/Sephiroth is the one with a clear objective in mind. Writing in FF games has never been great, but usually the playable characters are actively striving towards some goal, something lacking for the majority of FF7, both the OG and the Remakes.

[@LeeEnfield64]

The purpose of the middle part is, they know Sephiroth going to do something really bad with Jenova, and they're trying to track him down and stop him. They're always behind him, and it's not really clear what Sephiroth is doing or how they'll stop him, and they get side-tracked a LOT, but I feel there is SOME goal there.

[@MusicoftheDamned]

"Writing in FF games has never been great" had me wanting to kneejerk disagree with that bit, but yeah. I can alao accept that _Final Fantasy Tactics_ is basically the exception to that "rule" even if it too has a few issues story-wise, though it's largely only botched translations in the original.

[@manjiimortal]

@@LeeEnfield64 For me it's just that they don't have a clear goal they themselves are striving towards, and that means they aren't proactive. They're following a guy who has a clear objective, but theirs is just to follow Sephiroth and I find protagonists lacking in initiative of their own to be uninteresting.

[@roboknobthesnob]

Having just replayed the OG, it felt a lot like old tv series like Xena: traveling from town to town solving issues. And I loved that kind of shows in the 90s. But I also can’t remember a single plot point. The whole thing works in the context of creating this large tapestry, showing you how the world of FFVII works so you feel some attachment when the meteor starts dropping. And it worked in that sense. But as you said, it lacked character agency. I have not played rebirth yet but it seems like they did nothing to improve on that

[@manjiimortal]

@@michaeljohnson6905 That's not how I remember the game going. You spend that section following breadcrumb, usually with NPCs telling that this guy in dark robes passed through the place you're currently at, and then left in the direction of this other place, to which you go next. There's no evidence of Sephiroth or Shinra's machinations, there're just sightings of Sephiroth, and Shinra themselves are also mostly following after Sephiroth.

[@ChrisDeJack]

I cannot unsee the manic pixie dream girl farting next time I play a FF7 jockstwat episode

[@soulofmen]

5:24 "It really looks like they're farting" Thats what I see every time, and my eyes roll so hard I give myself a headache. How anyone finds that cute I will never know.

[@MathewHaswell]

Now i'm thinking of the Buggy Saints Row song. "Bullets blasting, cops are smarting. It kind-of looks like we're both farting." kzbin.info/www/bejne/b53CioFjrrd2jLs

[@bendonatier]

So I recently went back and actually played the original ff7, and it very much clicked /why/ the game is considered a masterpiece by so many, while also giving me a better understanding of what remake part 1 was doing(I play on pc so I only a little bit of an idea how part 2 is following up, but I've heard from friends that it's doing well). The unfortunate thing is that FF7 as a story is unfortunately one that doesn't really tell you what the hell it is about until basically disc 3, with the rest of the game being a slow methodical build up until that grand reveal at the end. Even then the work up to this game's tutorial, right before the last game's cut off, the Nhibleheim flash back, is a slow burn of rising tension. From what I've seen of the remake so far, they assume people know the twist, and thus play up the dramatic irony, play up and with the clues, so that they can still hit those notes hard when they get there. While I'm not surprised Yahtzee in't a fan of the absolutely glacial pace, and odd tone shifts, I am glad that the team at least has a unity of vision, and seem to know what they want to do. They also understand the characters well which is not true of a lot of ff7 spin off media.

[@SPM0717]

The nature of that end joke seems very reminiscent of how older Zero Punctuation reviews used to finish.

[@Elesario]

Fun to see Frank Sidebottom joining the crew... he's missed.

[@alexandermason-sx2og]

The circus strongman in a cape is Dio, and he was just as fucking wild in the PS1 version. They just didn’t have the graphics to portray him as the eyeball searing monster he is