Finding Myself Again

Hey Guys,
Sorry this one was so delayed - it was a video that meant a lot to me so I wanted to get it just right.
I spent a long time romanticising being unwell. And this has been for at least the last decade, or almost half of my time on this planet.
I saw glorified b&w montages of #sadgirls on tumblr. Effy, Cassie, that girl from red band society. I wanted to be them. I wanted to be seen as tragically beautiful. I wanted to be the sad girl who couldn't be saved.
I'm sick of glorifying an illness. When you strip away the dark quotes, the love interest movie scenes, the not-at-all grounded portrayal of mental illness in TV shows and in media, that's all it is. It's an illness. We would never romanticise physical illness this way.
So, I'm letting go.
I'm allowing myself to be well. I'm going to discover a Milly who is well.
I deserve it. I deserve to let myself be happy.
Mills x
DISCLAIMER: not every morsel of food i ate this week was shown. some very obvious meals are missing. i do this to prevent unnecessary comparisons. what my body needs and what your body needs might be vastly different. listen and trust your own body :)
--------------------- SOCIALS ---------------------
Instagram: Millyrecovers
Tiktok: Millyrecovers or Millyrecovers2
Email: [e-mail]
--------------------- MUSIC ---------------------
Music by Andres Jacque - Fall Skies - thmatc.co/?l=C...
Music by carego - Little Changes - thmatc.co/?l=9...
Music by Julia Pauletti - Cold & Bitter - thmatc.co/?l=8...
Music by Mason Murphy - Let It Rain - thmatc.co/?l=D...
Music by Mathew Rodriguez - Skip to the Present - thmatc.co/?l=B...
Music by Restless Modern - On and On - thmatc.co/?l=A...
Music by Restless Modern - shrunk in my head - thmatc.co/?l=2...
Check out Restless Modern on Spotify, I love their music :)
--------------------- KEY WORDS ---------------------
what i eat holiday vlog wieiad meal plan fear food summer vacation bristol pizza hotel churros friends bagel bath spa identity finding myself values mental health illness advice how halloween autumn
-------------- ED RECOVERY RESOURCES --------------
BEAT National Eating Disorder charity - www.beateating...
NHS self-help guides - web.ntw.nhs.uk...
Disordered eating self-help worksheets - www.cci.health...
KZbinRS:
Tabitha Farrar: / tabithafarrar
Hat DID Beat this: / @hatdidbeatthis7379
Abbey Sharp: / abbeysharpabbeyskitchen
Linda Sun: / @lindasunyt
Ro Recovery: / romitchell
INSTAGRAMMERS:
Surina: @gainswithsurina3768
Millie: @MillieisRecovering
Healing Ki: @healing.ki
Elena: @elena.recovering
Han: @hannahfightsthis
Imee: @im_powering
TIKTOKERS:
Lila: @fullyrecovering
Sena: @senarecovering7
Cressie: @recoverwithcressie
Bobby: @bobbykazz
@_youve_got_this_
GUIDES/SELF-HELP RESOURCES:
Tabitha Farrar's book - Rehabilitate, Rewire, Recover!
CCI Self-Help Guides - www.cci.health...

[@staypositive4149]

Thank you for this. I've felt so numb and lost after starting to recover. Nothing really made me happy and it's been really hard to try something new, because I fear(ed) I would fail or wouldn't do well enough. That I was lacking something or not worth the trouble of for e.g. paying for a new hobby. It's hard to let go of something I made my identity, my life and "lose" it. Thank you for showing me that others feel the same and can find their way 💕.

[@millyisliving]

i’m so proud of you for choosing to recover 💗 it’s not easy, and it’s confusing and messy and so so so tough! but it will all be worth it - and you can find a VALUABLE & MEANINGFUL life outside of your eating disorder 🫶🏻

[@rosmorgan6140]

omg i relate to this so much- you’re not alone 💕💕 hope you find something rlly fun to do :)) x

[@kyrabrandt2597]

You are proving that loving life is possible and achievable! You always remind me that I have to keep pushing to take my life back! Thank you for another reminder of how beautiful life can be!💙

[@millyisliving]

so so much love angel 🫶🏻 recovery (and living life freely) is so so possible. we will BOTH get there 💗

[@leniolesch896]

This is so so valuable. After 18 years with AN it’s so hard to give up with me Ed and let it go. I’m terrified who I am without it. And still, I’m already missing my anorexic body.

[@kikidutoit7310]

I adore you Mily ❤ this is such an important and beautiful video and it makes me so hopeful and proud to watch, plus the hair and nose piercing look INSANE !!!

[@millyisliving]

thank you so incredibly much 😭🫶🏻 hair is already fading just slightly sadly

[@levlava]

So proud of you! Also, I really needed this today. You rock!

[@millyisliving]

thank you so much, proud of you too 🫶🏻

[@___-bs6sw]

I had a really bad breakdown while the fireworks , bc I so wanna watch them again without any anxiety , but in Ukraine we can’t do this anymore …

[@katherinegaryclarkegoddard7365]

I am so glad that you liked Bath. I live in Bath and I am struggling with Anorexia ❤

[@evagunther7784]

Oh yes. Who am I when I'm not miserable. That's big big big because I can't even remember because yes.. cptsd is shitty 🌼 so experimenting, doing different things and follow my intuition and free spirit is a big part of healing . For me, it almost hurts to open my heart again. But it's worth it

[@jijipop11037]

I watched a lot of your videos lately and it inspired me a lot to try again at recovering bc well I tried once but it was a fail.. anyways tysm :))

[@toopeep27]

thank you for the hope

[@leniolesch896]

I totally forgot to mention how beautiful you are. You’re such a sympathetic person, a natural beauty.

[@mirchen01]

And I love this ,singing my heart out“

[@virgilfoster5270]

𝐩яⓞ𝓂𝓞Ş𝐦 ❤️

[@juliah2193]

lovely video, you're so inspirational

[@millyisliving]

thank you 😭🫶🏻

[@isabellesim1]

As I watch this I’m challenging myself to sit my ass down and journal..I have to admit I’ve been having tough and stressful days and I’ve been resorting to exercise compulsions..but I rmb you, so I came here and decided this lapse doesn’t have to be a relapse and I’ll try again! Thanks for being my no.1 inspiration,for being so real and raw and just motivating❤

[@AshleyBitton]

Great video. I'm in recovery as well. It's great to see you recovering and finding yourself. Sending love from LA!! xoxo 🤗🥰❤💕💕💕

[@millyisliving]

thank you!!

[@AnnaHarding]

Your hair and skin are glowing!

[@millyisliving]

thank you so much!!!

[@katespalding2134]

It’s really strange seeing familiar places. I live in Bristol, a fantastic multicultural city with loads going on. I hop you had a fantastic time❤️❤️❤️

[@millyisliving]

thank you! i did 🫶🏻

[@jmsl910]

you are so strong

[@actgirl1234567]

❤❤❤

[@actgirl1234567]

Milly you put so much work into everything and this is so unique and a lovely video to watch xoxox

[@emmatisons6159]

I'm not speaking for everyone (although I hope people agree with me) but I just want to say, you are more important than when your videos come out and I really hope you don't stress about that too much, we are, I am, just grateful you're here 💝

[@nataluna2.c]

Tout videos, my safe place

[@millyisliving]

❤️❤️❤️

[@YasminA-jm9zs]

They say you grow confident when you’re actions are congruent with your values. You are glowing ✨

[@mirchen01]

You make me so proud

[@millyisliving]

no, u 🫣🫶🏻

[@susannahdouch7275]

Loved this video for so many reasons and great that you came to Bath (shame I didn’t see you!). Nose piercing looks great and the red hair is absolutely 🔥🔥 it suits you so well. xx

[@millyisliving]

thank you so much lovely! did think of you when i was exploring 🤭🥰