Finding Your Birth Parents as an Adoptee

[@dakotaspruell1083]

I want to meet my Mother one day and tell her I love her. My true parents are the folks who adopted me, but I'm so curious what she is like. All I know is that she was very young when I was born and she was very brave and she was alone.

[@metadietz8606]

I found my birth mother, all she did was want to borrow money from me. She never wanted to meet and refused to give me any info about my birth father. It was a TOTAL disaster. I pray it turns out well for other people.

[@user-jt1jv8vl9r]

Sorry to hear that.

[@AdamGbl95]

It would seem that finding birth parents would be 1 of 2 extremes: either completely validating and helpful....or it could completely reinforce your adoption trauma if there's any sense of rejection or lack of acceptance. Resolving adoption trauma and mental health first is probably the best option so you're able to handle it. I believe I've unknowingly suffered trauma and mental health symptoms from being adopted at birth and I never realized it (always thought I was fine) until eventually the anxiety and and feelings of isolation, rejection, and lack of purpose and identity finally caught up with me and caught me off guard. Realizing the effects at a later age all at once (27 for me) is extremely tough. Especially when your adopting family is elderly and very very small and you're completely alone. But just know we're not alone. A lot of people were adopted and suffer in different ways (usually silently). It's so important to resolve the issue mentally first so you can decide whether or not it's worth finding them and to be prepared and made whole first before you do go on that journey.

[@jmk1962]

It's true you have to be prepared before you search. We always hear about the successful reunions but sadly it doesn't always end well and sometimes you have to face rejection which is really hard even as a confident adult. I'm a 61 year old adoptee and recently found my birth mother but although she was thrilled I was alive and had had a great childhood with a wonderful adoptive family, she has not told my 6 half siblings about me as she is terrified they will judge her for having had a baby before she met their father. He did know about me but they decided to not tell their subsequent children about me so I am still a 'secret'. She has no idea how that makes me feel, like I'm something she is ashamed of for something that was not my fault and I am being deprived of getting to know my half siblings. Luckily I am in regular contact with my birth mother's older sister who welcomed me immediately into her family once I DNA matched with her granddaughter. She helped my birth mother when she was pregnant with me and she always thought about me over the years so she knew who I was the minute her granddaughter asked her about the DNA match. We speak via WhatsApp about twice a week for hours and hours and I feel as if I have always known her. She is delightful but I'm afraid although I have had one phonecall with my birth mother I do not feel any connection with her at all as all she is concerned about is her own reputation. I have told her I won't contact any of my siblings while she is alive but have said that I will be contacting them when she has passed on and she seems fine with that as she won't be around to deal with it. It's not always open arms when finding the person who gave birth to you or created you and you have to be strong enough to cope with being rejected which is always hard especially when none of it is your fault.

[@juliecroteau6983]

I begin to search for my birth parents at 18 year old. My adoptive parents gave me some informations about my birth mother, and told me that when I was ready, I could look for her, so I did and I found her on the site OK.RU. I was very lucky, all my russian family was there. Uncles, aunts, cousins, and a brother that I heard about but wasn't sure he was real... it was the best thing that ever happened to me in that year.. besides the fact that my birth mother died 6 months before I found her... I want to visit them, they want me to go see the whole family... but I don't speak Russian and I'm trying to learn this language but it's pretty hard... you are the most lucky person in the world to be able to visit your birth family and actually be able to talk with them ! That's awesome...

[@KokoLive]

Always wanted to know who I am. Even if my mother can’t tell me because she’s adopted too, I just know she fought to keep me when she was forced to put me up for adoption. I want to know her, talk to her, maybe even learn more about my birth dad. I only know his name but I have a photo of my mother. She’s really pretty and I want to connect with her

[@dakotaspruell1083]

Your story touches my heart I hope you find her. When you are adopted it can feel like your life has a lack of continuity even if you're parents are very supportive and loving there can be a horrible nagging feeling at the same time and an urge to know something just beyond your reach.

[@georgepetrin1334]

Enjoyed this video and got a chuckle when you said you began searching for your birth parents 6 years ago when you were 21 and now your getting "old." I wish I was as "old" as you are now. I decided some time ago I no longer say I was getting "old." I now say, "I'm getting older." Keep up the good work.

[@willrichardson519]

When my daughter tells me I'm old, I point out we're all getting older, it's relative, sic.

[@summersingeorge]

I was adopted at birth. I was told that I was given up because I had blonde hair and blue eyes and that my adoption was closed. My adoptive parents could not conceive after trying, so they adopted me in 1991 when I was ten days old. I did a 23&Me test last year, got into contact with some of my biological family members. Later on, my mom did a 23& me test and contacted me. My adoptive parents (who were very narcissistic and selfish) told me that if i perused this that they would disown me….so, (despite how much I wanted to meet her) I was forced to tell my birth mother that I didn’t want to contact her. I was living with my adoptive parents at the time and I knew if I did not listen, they would kick me out.) Fast forward to about 9 months after my birth mother messaged me initially, I got my own place and stopped having a relationship with my adoptive parents due to their psychological and verbal abuse….I decided that it is my right to contact her. She told me that what my adoptive parents told me about my adoption was not true. We met and she showed me a baby book she had of me…which I learned about more lies that my adoptive parents told me (they kept in communication with her until I was 18 months old and then broke the agreement between them and my birth mother.) I saw pictures of me with my grandparents that my adoptive parents sent my birth mother that they neglected to tell me anything about. My mom and I got along right away the second that we met….I adore her husband as well. We now have been speaking for about 2 weeks every single day. I have an amazing relationship with her, and I finally found that missing puzzle piece that I could never locate for 31 years. I feel complete. I’ve never been so relieved and so happy. I’m actually thinking about writing a book on my experience.

[@ExpertAssass1n]

cant stop crying while watching this. I have almost nothing on them.

[@michaelsanchez8803]

My adoption story is that my parents could not have kids,my adopted father had a cousin who was expecting a baby and and father ask him mainly because my birth parents had too many children and were poor,anyways they had a baby girl and took her home a few days later the following year they had another baby....a boy,ME so after a few days later took me home.As time went by i learned more about my birth parents it was never a secret.My birth father from his first wife had 5 kids 2 sons and three daughters,my birth mother had 3 daughters from two different men,then when they met and got married they had 12 more kids......yes 12. All sets of parents are gone now the only sibling i keep in touch with is the one i was raised with,which proves blood does not bond family.Alex i am happy that you are doing positive things with your story and i am waiting for your brothers story too.Michael.

[@darrenmoore3433]

Hi Michael. Are you looking for your biological parents?

[@michaelsanchez8803]

@@darrenmoore3433 Hello,no i always knew who they were both of my fathers were cousins,thank you though.

[@durgadurgin1612]

I was born in St.petersburg Russia sept 4 2001i was adopted sept 17 2002 and I've always wanted to find my birth parents

[@stephanieharrigle6430]

I know what that id I was adopted to when I was little so I understand these videos I am watching and I love this story video of this kid and basically all the adoting videos that all these people and family have I also like stories that I can't relate to but it could happen to me oneday or not but it happens to other people those but I like stories about anything that is nice like this I love it

[@bld-myst7779]

Thank you for your videos I am gonna share the link to my adopted cousin this'll probably help him

[@durgadurgin1612]

Im adopted from St. Petersburg Russia and i turn 18 soon and i really want to find out who my real mother is and who i really am

[@tyleratkinson5468]

Just ask your adoption parents for your birth parents name and go to social services where u was adopted good luck

[@joyfulinvestor7072]

God bless you, bro! I watch most of your vidz, and what I can say is that you're a great example of what the Lord has told us about forgiveness. Man, take care of your parents, it's a tradition in Russia. You'll be rewarded in your next life more than you expect. Also, your father spends a nice life while your mother might be struggling financially (from what I see). He, as I see, is easier to communicate with. You can remove this comment, just my 5 cents!

[@keiheaherakiwi1611]

Thank you for sharing

[@alexgilbert]

Thank you for watching!

[@williamclark6555]

I'm still concern about how your birth mother was treated on the Russian TV show. Your birth mother looked very emotionally fragile after some of the comments from the audience. I think she did the best she could under the circumstances. I hope you can assist her in finding peace with her decision.

[@alexgilbert]

I fully understand your comment William. Of course. I keep in contact with her, I do. And I make sure that she is alright. I did a video about me going through the TV show recently here - kzbin.info/www/bejne/mITQZH6Oqs9qqdk It goes through all my thoughts about the show :) Thank you!

[@SpiritDragoness]

William Clark i think it's because Russians have gone trough a lot of hardships historically, but not all families decide to give up their children cause of the hardships... but i want to accent the word "family". And i have a feeling that that is something the audience failed to understand, that this lady didn't have a family, she didn't have a support system. Russian people for the most part are very kind people, but because they have gone trough a lot of hardship themselves and survived, they sometimes fail to understand when someone is struggling a bit more than they did. "If i could, so could you." sort of mentality, without realising that the circumstances are very different. A healthy family support system is everything.

[@agnesNik]

i found out that i was adopted at 21 i was adopted from armenia and have been searching for my birth mother since then...i really really hope too find her soon

[@jmk1962]

Do a DNA test and if she has done one you will match with her or close relatives.

[@SmallAlexander]

Hey, im about to talk to very possibly my biological mother tomorrow. Any advice or tips?

[@lubna1414]

❤️

[@annavictoriagriewahn9227]

I believe I found my birth mother on ok.ru- same name, first and last, same birthdate, same age, same hometown. How would I know for sure it if is her, and how would I go about messaging or talking to her? I am from Krasnodar, Russia.

[@hellothere5156]

Im trying to find my birth mother because my birth father wasn’t in the picture but I only have her first name and I’m not old enough to go through the system so I’m losing hope. What should I do?

[@jmk1962]

Do some DNA tests and you might mat h with some close relatives.

[@izzycamperlengo1280]

can you help me with my closed adopshion plesae help

[@bethmccall3735]

Do you and your adopted half brother have the same father?

[@FrenchFarEast]

8th of february, when i was born in russia, 24 years ago...

[@FrenchFarEast]

but just... where is this ok.ru's group "after my birth mother's lastname"? ... i tried vk and ok.ru, and i didn't find

[@alexgilbert]

I was able to find a group back in 2013. Not everyone's birth mother will have a group with their last name. It's different for everyone! :)

[@FrenchFarEast]

@@alexgilbert ahhh i thought : "my birth mother's last name" was the name of the group... ok bon :)

[@jelenavisnere2814]

🎂🌹 💎💯

[@karolinakoce5777]

I want to find my birth mom

[@roloorozco1489]

I was adopted by chinese because it was somone at records.My chinese fake parents aperently baught me lots of houses i evicted them and have 9 days to pack ul

[@chowder8802]

Yooo

[@alexgilbert]

Yoooo