Fixing RWBY Volume 2 Response

[@andrewwool5879]

I love how fans of the series seem to have more passion than the actual writers. That's... kind of sad.

[@CelticPhoenix]

I'm hoping that if I get enough people to scream loud enough they'll hire me. And I'm not talking screaming online. I mean, thousands of people in front of their studio, screaming incoherently. It'll be a blast regardless if I end up getting hired.

[@andrewwool5879]

Don't you mean arrested? I mean RT is petty enough to block any one who so much as thinks a negative comment on them, I can see them calling the cops on you. Jokes aside, I love your work, keep it up ;D

[@nightinthetwilight]

That's par for the course with a lot of media. The writers who put just as much care and love into their properties as the fans do are generally people you don't hear complaints about. Barring an exception or two.

[@redlock1353]

Pretty great video. About Maidens. I think that Maidens and Ozpin definitely need to be reworked. So for the Maiden powers, I suggest making them be a Dust Creation Semblance. Now this would make Maidens important in universe, but not too overpowered. Most of Remnant's economy revolves around Dust. Now, if you had someone who could create Dust from thin air, you'd be able to potentially destroy the economy, which would be a good reason for Ozpin to keep tabs on them. I suggest making it so that Maidens can create crystals of Dust from their Aura until they run out of it and have to recharge. Each Maiden would have a corresponding type of Dust that they can generate (preferably Burn, Aqua, Earth and Wind and variations of these). The Dust could be used to create weapons, ammunition or armor. Now, imagine how bad ass it would be if Cinder could make armor from Burn Dust that would look like the armor of a demon, light dark obsidian armor with lava and hellfire surrounding it from every side. That would be metal. Same goes for Raven by making ice armor that contrasts Cinder's. Gotta go with the 'rule of cool', right? Also, I would change the naming conventions of the Maidens. Instead of naming the Maidens after seasons, name them after the four directions. So Cinder could for example be The Maiden Of The West, while Raven could be the Maiden Of The South. It would be a nice nod to the Wizard Of Oz, since there are four main witches named after the directions. Just a thought.

[@lunarrobot9714]

Filip Zemiakovic that's a Badass idea, but you'd have to get rid of glynda in that case.

[@redlock1353]

Not really. Glynda could be reworked. Maybe made into a Maiden? I mean, nothing is stopping us from making her one. Just say that Maiden powers slow down aging and you get an explanation for why most of the older females (Cinder, Raven, Glynda) look so young and why others look older (Kali, Sienna, etc.). It's a rewrite, everything goes.

[@lunarrobot9714]

Filip Zemiakovic I'm saying based on her presence in this rewrite. The maidens are secret and secluded from society. If Glynda was a maiden she would NOT be a teacher. She'd be too important.

[@redlock1353]

But what's stopping her from being a teacher? All she needs to do to stay hidden is not use her Maiden powers. Though that raises other questions, like why she wouldn't go fight Cinder at the tower instead of Pyrrha. But if the Maiden powers get nerfed, saying for example that she can only create Earth Dust (and variants of it, like Metal or Sand), that would explain it quite neatly.

[@lunarrobot9714]

Filip Zemiakovic I'm going off of the idea that the maidens can create specific dust from nothing. A power that would topple the dust economy. And hey have to be somewhat powerful or there would be no empahis on how special they are. The show makes it really clear thay as a maiden you need to stay out of the public eye entirely because there are to many people who'd want that power. Plus you need one maiden per area. Having more than one maiden in Vale makes no sense. Because that would mean cinder got her powers from another maiden and has another relic already. Gynda would have to be the fall maiden to have any business in vale and she'd killed by cknder before hand for the plot make sense. And there's no real reason why you'd have two maidens at one vault, and glynda not be at her respective vault with her respective gaurdians. It's a really big plot hole.

[@maxentirunos]

I am happy that you loved my aura exhaustion plot device suggestion. It has always weird me that there isn't any aura exhaustion before V3, and it's like only three time (Mercury, Autumn and Pyrrha, one bad guy, two dead good guys, showing some kind of uninteresting pattern). Using aura exhaustion seems like a simple way to make an opponent more dangerous and adding suspense but well, no one seems to have though about it.

[@KaraDestare]

I do like your idea for Velvet's weapon but I do feel people might just start saying it's similar to Honey Lemon in Big Hero 6. How about saying she maybe requires specific dust formulas to re-create weapons with the photos being used to give the formula shape she can use. This works great if her semblance is to "reproduce" (rabbit joke) movements and still means she needs to be very careful with her usage of her weapon since it does require a lot of time & dust to be ready. That's just my little idea lol

[@CelticPhoenix]

I have never seen BH6, so while it may be similar, no one can give me shit for copypasting. XD

[@markervine1855]

Well even if it was similar to honey lemons who cares? Taking a good idea and applying it is good writing. Also I can argue many characters are similar to others weapons.

[@KaraDestare]

Fair enough but I do feel it better to try and avoid that sort of comparison when it comes to RWBY weapons. If another character in fiction suddenly appeared with a scythe that can also shoot some sort of bullets we'd call that character a Ruby clone, but here Honey Lemon came first so it feels like you turned Velvet into a bit of a Honey Lemon clone. Not sure if I'm explaining it right but hey, it's your take on the show so do what you want to lol

[@jamg25]

I want to share my thoughts about the Vytal Festival from Vol. 3, and why it makes no sense to me. Unlike the Chunin exams from Naruto that served as Proxy wars, the Vytal Festival is about promoting cooperation and friendship, so teams from each School fighting for "superiority/prestige" over one and other is counterproductive, especially with the Grimm around. So why don't they make the 4v4 battles teams be composed of one student from each kingdom? That way not only do huntsmen in training cooperate with Students from other schools, it would garantee that no matter which team wins, none of the kingdoms would feel bad about losing. Then on the 2v2 battles, only teams with members from the same School should battle each other. Then the same for 1v1, so at the end there is a champion from each of the 4 schools and they are awarded a title like, I don't know, The Vytal Champions, or a Ceremonial Team name made from a letter of each champion's name. But that's just my thoughts.

[@multiblitz]

Well as cute as seeing Neo's expressions when interacting with Roman sounds, it would be a bit harder to focus on them in fight. Especially with someone like Ruby who's a fast fighter. Having her make gestures for Roman to notice while picking Ruby off from a distance when all it requires most of the time is one free hand can show how they coordinate their attacks like pros.

[@danielriver6206]

Here's something that just popped into my head after watching this. How do huntsmen in training cover their expenses? The academies obviously provide them with lodging and meals, but what about everything outside of that? They ARE teenagers after all. Do they receive something like scholarships directly from the councils, do some of their parents send them allowances, do some of them have part-time jobs, and so forth?

[@iquestioneverything3426]

James Schultz How does that answer his question of where does the money come from ?

[@iquestioneverything3426]

From the jobs that they do like cleaning up mountain glenn i guess, i mean what's the point of doing those jobs if you're just gonna learn the same thing from school.

[@iquestioneverything3426]

James Schultz What does different branches of society have anything to do with how does soldiers in training who is allowed to carry their weapon everywhere gets money ? And how is this "what your mom thinks is anime" ?

[@iquestioneverything3426]

James Schultz Why does people need money to buy weapons stupid ? That's literally the same thing that happens in the real world ?

[@beancheesedip8337]

As much as I think it makes her too OP, I'm really in love with the idea that Velvet's semblance just makes her Taskmaster. I'm loving this series. As much as my brother and I love RWBY, you'd really have a hard time telling if you just listen to how much we bitch about the series. It has the potential, but if you got two novice writers working on a serialized show, then you're going to run into problems, no matter how hard you try. It might've been better if they went the Avatar route of basically being a monster of the week show, with an overarching goal. That's just how I see it.

[@shadowwarrior3444]

Some tips for Volume 3: 1. Dive into Cinder's past. In my fanfic her mother was a former Spring Maiden and huntress but lost her power due to Ozpin, and it was given to Amber. Due to problems with the process, her mother was driven insane and committed suicide. Her father went to investigate but he never came back. They were on the same team as Hazel and his sister, Gretchen, called team GHST, an elite team on the same level as STRQ. Hazel takes her in as her godfather, and the 2 are eventually found by Salem. This can better explain why Hazel hates Ozpin, Cinder's wish for the maiden powers, and the song Sacrifice. 2. Get rid of the whole abusive lover angle between Adam and Blake, it only drags them down. Instead, keep Adam as her big brother mentor who's lost his way. In my same fic, after he turned down Cinder's proposal of teaming up the first time, he allowed Blake to leave because he figured Cinder would be back with an offer he couldn't refuse, and was worried Blake could be harmed when it happened. So he let her go and decided to focus on heading back to Mistral, then Cinder showed up. Adam does try to fight her off but he can't absorb the maiden powers with his semblance and ultimately joins. He figured as much Blake would inform the authorities since going back to Mistral had been the plan after the train heist. However, Adam gets pissed off after learning of his lieutenants demise and Blake's role in it. During the fall of Beacon, he kills team CFVY and cuts off Yang's arm before telling Blake to run away. Him cutting off Yang's arm triggers Ruby's silver eyes which incapacitated Cinder. Adam notices this and he decides to have the White Fang leave. I keep him as a Well-intentioned extremist in my story.

[@cottonkat3551]

Great clarifications and answers! Really enjoy your videos.

[@TearsOfLa]

31:04 Coming into this project super late, but also have years of thing sto look back and compare on. Just want to say this is scary how accurate it is for the start of Ice Queendom. Literally that exact context is provided to her fight against the Gheist

[@iquestioneverything3426]

A combination of mortar and crossbow, you just described what a grenade launcher is.

[@CelticPhoenix]

Mortars have more sever arcs then grenade launchers (with greater maximum range) and typically need to be stationary/planted. The crossbow section propels the projectile via repeating spring mechanism while the mortar relies on built-in propulsion from the ammunition itself, so there's actually a fair amount of distinction going on between her two firing types.

[@iquestioneverything3426]

Celtic Phoenix Productions So you want her to just fart particle effects at people from afar instead of having a well choreographed fight, that's even worse than mrs re used animation over there.

[@CelticPhoenix]

I disagree, as it leads to more unique combat practices. In Close-Range combat she'll have to be incredibly evasive, and in a pinch mixing dust to suit your purposes is effective but time consuming and leaves her open to counter attack. There's also her jumping from vantage point to vantage point to give extra kineticism.

[@sokumotanaka9271]

Celtic Phoenix Productions To add onto this velvet obviouslly fights on a team so both yasu and fox are aware that they're longer ranged fighters and if possible will make up for their weaknesses. Not only that velvet having a crossbow that can work both up close (This is very similar to how god eater long range shooters work) gives her more ultility and shows she's thinking about her weakness It's smart.

[@andrewdowns3673]

Velvet's weapon- so, it's essentially Honey Lemon's purse from Big Hero 6?

[@noneofyourbusiness3288]

Here I was thinking I was done commenting about Velvets weapon after the first video, but her using dust as a weapon is so intriguing, that I want to give my own thoughts on that. I think it would be also cool if her box only contained refined dust of different variants, which she wields kind of like a mage in classic fantasy. Showing her mastery of her aura and mind to manipulate dust to the extent she does, without an actual weapon, just pure will-power (also reinforcing that her pacifism inst weakness at all, but rather composure). Making her a "caster" and dust-protegee would be kind of interesting. Maybe Weiss comments on her, being impressed with Velvets skill using dust without a weapon, something not even Weiss would be able to. Further showing her growing respect for Faunus also. Alternatively she could show off this dust-infusion (either her body or clothing) to strengthen herself (we havent seen that enough in the show yet). It would also be fun to see this cute bunny girl smashing face while on dust. :P On auto-cannons: maybe in the construction some piece of terrain was not taken into account, explaining the weak-spot (maybe hint at it first at some point ?). On torture: you would simply torture them until their aura breaks ?

[@The_Alt_Vault]

For a start love what your doing with trying to fix the show and overall i got to say im impressed and i really hope that RT might see this and take some notes. However, some suggestions i have which i very well believe that you would have taken some of these into account with your work on your season 3. One is have Roman not die, now this is very easy as in the show it looks like the airship has a more controlled landing than it should. This allows both Roman and Neo to still have a good story especially as you have built Roman as competent while still keeping his personality. This mostly stems from something that i believe should happen in season 4 is that Winter is put in prison for wanting to be with Weiss given how she has run away from home especially after she may learn of the bigger picture if things. This would leave to Roman being in prison in Atlas where he manipulates Winter for the two to help each other break out of prison. Only to have Neo grab Roman before Winter turns on him so she doesn't have to actually help Roman get out. I dont know if you think that's a good idea or not it just seemed like a good side story during all the walking in season 4. My next thing is show Ozpin to have some genuine evil, well not necessarily evil but definitely highlight how Ozpin was clearly the king of Vale during the great war and how he stacked the deck in his favour for his later lives, setting his commanders up to ensure that he would get back in power. This also comes in when Oscar becomes a thing where he should be a character first so there is some sympathy for him as Ozpin takes over his body against his will. Basically, show that he can do bad things for the right reasons especially in the reincarnation stuff.

[@nightinthetwilight]

Also, I just want to say, I'm loving what you're doing so far. I only watched two volumes of RWBY before forever giving up on it (until recently, but I haven't watched further). I dropped it because it was awful and I have no special connection to the show. My emotional pull has already been taken up by Digimon (and I will fight anyone to the death about it D< ) so I can say I have no love for the show whatsoever. But with how bad it is I found myself oddly fascinated, because the world and the potential RWBY had for greatness was there. It's something I myself sort of wanted to tackle once I had time. I also understand what you mean about big casts. Both Digimon and my own original novel feature large casts and it's difficult to juggle. Personally, I think you're maybe doing a better job with your rewrite with the large cast than I am with my Digimon fanfic that spans 19 characters and 15 digimon. Plus more characters and their partners down the line. Then again, who knows. Mine's a fanfic and yours is an overview summary. Either way, I recommend a good sorting method for your scenes and concepts. gingkoapp is good for that. It's mainly for the snowflake method of scripting and plotting, but you can put down all your individual ideas, concepts, scenes and character stuffs and arrange them as you see fit. Since you had trouble remembering what you had where, it might help? I don't know, I just became a little worried when you mentioned you were having trouble with keeping everything straight.

[@joelsasmad]

The issue with the lieutenant is that you had teachers there. The fact that these older, more expirienced adult huntsmen were niether strong enough to take down this guy as a group, nor smart enough to pull off something like what RWBY did, comes off as bs. On a seperate note, I actually really like how the original ending had it so that the final atruggle of the season had other characters show off while team RWBY were exhausted and uninvolved. It gives a feeling of there being more to this world and farther that our students have to grow.

[@williamtimonen6814]

That thing about the Ozpin being the leader needed to be explained because some viewers are dumb, and have the memory of jellyfish.

[@williamtimonen6814]

DONT JUDGE

[@sokumotanaka9271]

Awww the two haven students with cinder not being anything is such a wasted opportunity for a multitude of things involing salem's influrence. Again one being a failed cinder the bug slowly consuming her until she's a husk of a grimm, or one being a robotic maybe made by watts. One of them trying to flee and being offed by a metal force would make lionheats betrayal seem more dire (obviously there would be a viris or bug that affects them) etc

[@msirikh]

Hello there

[@wenber2990]

General Kenobi

[@CelticPhoenix]

General Kenny Bobby. ... Wait...

[@iquestioneverything3426]

What would dust reconfiguration do ? Make easily dodge able spikes on the ground or trap people in cages that are easily destroyed because the fight scenes can't last one second and thus making it nothing more than aesthetics.

[@CelticPhoenix]

Never doubt the benefit of battlefield control. In conjunction with teammates, funneling enemies into opportune positions can be a serious boon. And, I mean, I wouldn't treat dust as thin as glass; barriers would have consequence.

[@SwitchbackCh]

Having played League of Legends, I know that just one second of stunning, trapping or any kind of crowd control on an enemy means your teammates converge on them and kill them in an instant. With a show with such fast-paced action as RWBY, it's certainly possible.

[@iquestioneverything3426]

Switchback Yeah but one second of stun can be achieved by any weapon in the entire series.

[@iquestioneverything3426]

Celtic Phoenix Productions So she would be creating execution devices in the background while her teammates throw enemies into them and achieve sadistic impaling like it's that badass wolverine game, alright you convinced me that it would look cool but you still haven't convinced me it's more strategic than just putting mines on the ground, mines are less visible than giant death spikes so mines would certainly be more strategic.

[@SwitchbackCh]

Well that's just a rough example, but it all comes down to how you use it. A stun can be useless or crucial not just depending on when you use it, but on the person "directing" the fight scene. If two different animators did the same fight scene with a Dust cage ability, one might make the cage ability just a distracting ability that can be easily destroyed. The other animator can make the cage a very important ability used to stop the villain at an important moment and overpower them. So really, even a useless ability can be very good if you look at it differently and use it smart.

[@Yojack872]

I still like Copycat Velvet. Gives me Kakashi vibes

[@iquestioneverything3426]

maidens are still magic even though semblance is already a thing that can do anything, why ? Just make the maiden's be ozpin's semblance, Are you keeping the gods too ? Please tell me you're not keeping ozpin's dumb curse, oscar is the most pointless thing in rwby since ruby, if you think he's going to be extremely important in the later volumes just edit him back in, after all this is fanfiction and the best part about fanfiction is that you don't have to spend money on re animating errors.

[@CelticPhoenix]

I have my plans, and I'm positive people who hate Oscar are going to love them.

[@iquestioneverything3426]

Celtic Phoenix Productions Can you at least tell me why you need the magic so badly and not just make the maiden powers be ozpin's semblance ? We see so little of magic anyways what possible thing can you lose ?

[@BladeOfSteel-Sword_Saint]

i question everythin g I like your username.

[@Umcarasemvideo]

27:38 Velvet's all like "It costs four hundred thousand Lien to fire this weapon for twelve seconds"

[@williamtimonen6814]

Judarud ”But I only need to fire it for one.”

[@Umcarasemvideo]

"It costs thirty three hundred and thirty three lien to fire this weapon for one second."

[@jordanmchighlander9365]

I think it was described in actual canon that Velvet gets supplied dust from Ironwood because he's interested in the research and development of light dust weapons. If her weapon is crazy enough, we could probably use the same explanation here.

[@BumbleCrumble1072]

Yay, now let’s wait half a lifetime for the next one.

[@superthorc6894]

And another example of using constructive criticism and questions to better a product, take note rooster teeth

[@williamtimonen6814]

Superthor c They were probably all comments which began with ”love your work!”. Thats what Rooster Teeth calls criticism after all.

[@superthorc6894]

william timonen Ha that true

[@CelticPhoenix]

Actually, most of them dive into the criticism raw, ala 'i question everythin g' and his prolific presence on THIS video.

[@sokumotanaka9271]

James Schultz As a person who loves arksys that physically pains me. I wish he soul eater and that got it's own game instead

[@wellidontknow1941]

@@sokumotanaka9271 bro, you're reading my mind. When i read your comment and saw arcsys and soul eater in one sentence i was like: "yo, what, yess" Imagine soul eater fighting game with style of anime, with instakills and stuff. Would be the coolest shit on earth

[@MasterDecoy1W]

I'll just leave this here. >I don't want to burden the hypothetical animators with sign language >The communication will be accomplished by facial animations (one of the most complex features to animate on a human)

[@CelticPhoenix]

Fair, but they've proven that their facial animation work is already top-notch. Their movement animation, however...

[@athena1491]

also, id like to add that, hands also probably arent easy to animate, especially when you are doing extremely complex movements such as sign language and making it smooth and legible, which would bump it up to more difficult than just the standard, happy, sad, angry, pensive, etc expressions

[@vadandrumist1670]

Here’s an idea. We’ve seen grim with various levels of threat, but in the end there’s not a real reason why they’d be too dangerous (that is to say kill huntsmen). Two ways to improve them would be A: Grim consume/generate dust which allows them to wield the elements they take in. This would mean that the strongest of them would be overwhelming to even several teams of experienced huntsmen (imagine the nuckelavee with the fire element). B: Grim which consume huntsmen can take on their semblance (usually only works on the first... meal). This would create a sort of balance between the two where huntsmen are their own weakness. This could also result in the named grim being particularly special since you could trace their existence to a single death, and since a named grim is more likely to kill other huntsmen they’d be a growing threat where enhanced grim allow for the creation of more enhanced grim. Both of these options explain why more powerful huntsmen don’t stay in the city (they’re too busy keeping the raid bosses in check), and why being a huntsman is more likely to result in an short life. This would also make teamwork more important since the darker purpose of allies is so that they can keep your body from being consumed by the grim.

[@kmphysics]

damn that sounds like a pain in the ass to deal with and makes older grim that had time to get stronger a serious threat, great idea.

[@lunarrobot9714]

Vadan Drumist that's a really cool idea. Having grim that can obtain a semblance by eating a person would make the power balance even out a lot. Or maybe give them an ability that can make your semblance shut down. Like if they manage to bite or scratch you, or get through your arua, the poison they get you with can shut your semblance off temporarily.

[@BumbleCrumble1072]

Vadan Drumist Well that’s horrifying. I love it!

[@sokumotanaka9271]

Vadan Drumist Bruh get out of my head, I actually had this idea on my tumblr so long ago and I'm glad someone agrees with and and points it out.

[@aliciadrigo3277]

I really like this idea of having the Grimms be able to absorb Dust/semblances and use them in battle. One of the main problems that RWBY has is that the supposed main 'threat' that make the Huntsmen a necessity(Grimms)are, in practice, a joke.This idea makes the Grimm an actual terrifying force of nature like the show poorly tried to do. I hope you repost this later so that Celtic can see it.While i can appreciate that he's tried to make them much more of a challenge by NOT having the MC's(who are inexperienced) easily defeat them,this adds another layer to it.

[@beancheesedip8337]

Honestly, I never really read Torchwick as a racist character in the show. Yes, he does snipe at the faunus on occasion, but I always interpreted it as him being a shit-stirrer and an opportunist, someone who likes to talk and get under people's skin. Yeah, he does call faunus animals and what not, but I got the impression that it was something he did to annoy them for his own amusement, like jabbing at Ruby, Emerald and Mercury. We see that he's always perfectly fine with acting like an ally to the faunus when its necessary, like at the rally. Like, he says racist things to piss off others, but he himself is not a full on racist, like Weiss is in your version. That's just the way I saw him, at least.

[@SwitchbackCh]

Your version of Velvet reminds me of a fantasy version of Honey Lemon from Big Hero 6. Look it up if you haven't watched it. She has a purse/bag like Velvet, which mixes different compounds for her to use, showcasing her knowledge of the periodic table. Your version of Semblance and Aura is interesting too. Normally we treat Aura as a sort of "mana bar" for Semblance, and when Aura breaks, Semblances cannot be used. So in your rewrite, Semblances can still be used when an Aura is depleted? It might cause some viewer confusion that they cannot immediately equate "No Aura = No Semblance". Other than that, fantastic work. Keep it up! Also, cat reveal when?

[@lunarrobot9714]

Switchback actually that's not true in the real show either. Because when the group fought the nukleevee, Nora got her arua broken, but could still use her electified super jump afterwards. The show never explicitly states that no arua = no semblance. We all just kinda assumed it did.

[@CelticPhoenix]

Mild confusion for viewers, but the smart ones can pick up on it and that knowledge will trickle down eventually. As for the cat, I think I've shown them all before during my reacts. It was a while back but still in the MHA reactions I want to say....

[@redlock1353]

I would like to say that in V3, the important thing is to use advantage of the characters by characterizing them with as much world building as possible. The main problem was that there were no personal stakes in most battles, except for the Weiss/Yang VS Flint/Neon fight which had some tension in there. Go all out. Give characters unique Semblances, give them Faunus traits or something just to make them stand out. These are just characterization shortcuts that are extremely effective when you don't have much time for them. Give the battles some emotion and stakes. Like for example: JNPR? Jaune's role as a leader is questioned, so he works extra hard by using strategy and analyzing their upcoming opponents to prove that he is helpful. ABRN? Arslan glances at the crowd and notices her strict parents. She doesn't want to disappoint them. BRNZ? Brawnz has a vendetta against Pyrrha for beating him in some random junior tournament. NDGO? Nebula used to know Sun while he lived in Vacuo and has some grudge against him. And so on. Maybe add in some sort of Episode 0 that splits Episode 1 into 2 pieces, so that we get some RWBY training and getting ready for the tournament, doing some catching up on characters, introducing new ones and maybe even telling the audience about how the tournament works in some sort of pre tournament interview with the teachers. I'm pretty sure it could work really well.

[@wooloo4480]

Not gonna lie, I don't have time to watch this entire video so I just forwarded to the part where you talked about Velvet. Blue mage archetypes tend to copy abilities from their opponents. Blue mages are the only class in FF that's known to copy and wield abilities from monsters/enemies. Blue mage archetypes are my favorite kind of archetypes when it comes to fighting styles, which is why I adored Velvet's original concept so much. (Characters with rabbit features are also my jam, so that helped me like her even more!!) Alchemists are really versatile in that they can usually use a variety of spells or abilities. They can focus on the offense or they can play a supporting role with healing abilities/crafting healing items and such. A lot of their abilities tend to be item-focused. I really do enjoy the concept and weapon you created for her, though. Velvet is likely a fast and agile character, meaning she can attack from a long range and cross the field quickly to deal close ranged damage to a dazed opponent. I think she would utilize hit-and-run strats pretty well due to her speed! Having a weapon that changed between being close and long-ranged suits her very well!! I love the take you have on her.

[@ericajackson6662]

I love both versions because it shows how intelligent she is. In both cases, (most likely) Velvet built her own weapon. I can only imagine the amount of physics, chemistry, and computer coding (for the copy weapon) she had to learn to make it happen.

[@noobartist6009]

A constant missed opportunity in volume 3 for me was how much time passed before we saw Roman in the volume. While in Ironwoods custody Penny and Roman never came into contact with each other. Granted she likely wouldn't be allowed to approach any part of the ship holding potentially dangerous criminals but I like the idea of Penny's naturally innocent and curious nature getting the better of her and exploring other parts of Ironwoods ship on her own. Roman's already something of a charismatic talker and I could totally picture him figuring out from memory of the fight by the docks and the oddity of seeing a little girl on an Atlas Headmaster/General's ship that she's a robot. He could gradually form a fake friendship with the naive Penny, from little bits of advice with making friends that turn out to be pretty useful to establish a baseline of trust as him not just being some common criminal to getting her to question her place in Atlas and whether or not she's considered as valuable as a regualr human. All to increase his chances of getting free and off the Airship, this could all lead into him getting secretly freed just before Penny's match with Pyrrha I think this little arc taking place betweeen volume 2 and 3 would add quite a bit of extra meat to volume 3's beginning and middle between all the fight scenes happening every week. Not to mention it would give Ruby confronting him at the end of volume 3 a lot more tension since it would make him liable for toying with her friend just before using her dead body to make a statement by Cinder. Yeah it makes his character co e off as a lot scummier, but with the outlines of your story not having Roman be in the know you could have Roman come as a bit regretful since getting her killed wasn't really his plan but ultimately he isn't going to lose sleep over it. I realise I've been indulging myself quite a bit here. Ha 🤣. Don't expect you to actually implement it but I do think a Roman/Penny dynamic of some kind would be great in volume 3.

[@Warclam]

Boy, do I have a treat for you! Check out this story if you want to see Penny and Roman (AKA, the two best characters in the whole freaking show) interact: archiveofourown.org/works/4576887

[@noobartist6009]

Warclam I'm apprehensive, but facinated.

[@noobartist6009]

Kyros Droztamyr Ah. Shitty police are shit joke. Like

[@noobartist6009]

Kyros Droztamyr welp thats the common assumption when you make a paralel to the police.

[@noobartist6009]

Kyros Droztamyr Well my intention wasn't to insult. Just sounded like you were mocking the site with hiw you phrased the chicago police in your comment.

[@Umcarasemvideo]

39:30 It would also explain how the hell she knew Yang was in danger. Cause in the show she comes out of nowhere and we don't know why. And the way her semblance works i wonder how she even knew Yang needed saving.

[@PieisDaBest1]

One thing you could do for the tournament is trim the fat. Maybe combine some teams together, like Penny and Ciel with Flynt and Neon. The latter two could be handpicked from amongst the best Atlas trainees to serve as a compromise for Penny (she gets more "friends" while Ironwood also uses them as additional eyes to watch her). That way, there are fewer people to focus on. Cut out characters like Nadir who don't do anything and hopefully it'll be easier to focus on stuff. If these truly are the best trainees the Kingdoms have to offer, then there shouldn't be too many of them anyways.

[@sokumotanaka9271]

Where's professor peach you coward!? This is professor peach erasure. /sarcasm

[@CelticPhoenix]

Off eating avocados somewhere, I'm sure.

[@kana22693]

She's busy exploring Peak, together with Penny's harem of course.

[@Zzyx_Rising]

11:25 The weapon you described reminded me of the "Heavy Bowgun" from Monster Hunter series and, for some reason, the Arbalist class from Etrian Odyssey 3. 12:58 More than likely Blue Mage. Red Mages can use white and black magic.

[@williamtimonen6814]

For volume 3, can you give the jazz guy whose voice actor was appearently hilarious some jokes?

[@williamtimonen6814]

Also. You really did get better!

[@williamtimonen6814]

Thinking about how hard that action scene would be with Penny too was really smart. Theoretical animators thank you.

[@violetshadowstone5250]

william timonen He could make mean jokes at weiss expense that could work

[@williamtimonen6814]

violet shadowstone Yesss... I mean I dont know if he was actually funny. But who really cares by this point.

[@thomasraines1396]

On the whole “Sun Vs Season” thing, I’ve always thought the teams are abbreviations for actual words (RWBY is Ruby things like that while also accounting for each member’s name the fact there’s three people in the team with S names it makes sense to me that the Team would be “season.”

[@dak3031]

Thanks for addressing my concerns/fix with Vale's autocannon defense system!

[@nightinthetwilight]

"Torture, PTSD, murder... we can do that stuff." Yeah. So did Animorphs, and it had a much younger target demographic. Never skimped on the graphic details, either. Honestly, I think that series ruined me for "lighter" content that still tries to do heavier topics. I don't like going half way. I never liked being talked down to and was much more aware of when it was happening due to reading the series. Not to mention I grew up with a lot of movies from the 80s and early 90s that held that genuinely darker tone. I don't think it's impossible to fuse dark themes and comedy, but it's far, faaar too easy to lessen the impact of the messages and tones you're trying to set with bits of comedy. I find at least for me it's very difficult to find it impactful when the darker themes are censored due to the modern day definitions of what PG or even PG-13 means. The balancing is quite delicate. ... It's kind of like this poor cup of tea I just made... English Toffee but I steeped it too long and now it's bitter. I ran out of sugar so I used some Iced Tea powder to sweeten it, but the iced flavouring overtook the toffee flavouring. So I added some chocolate agave to offset that and now I just have an uncomfortable mix of flavours that's still sweet, but not what I wanted. :C sigh

[@Agsf256]

I don't know why when I saw you I immediately thought of school of rock for some reason

[@rosanirodrigues557]

Your series of videos of fixing rwby are very entertaining and makes me a fan of RWBY again keep up the amazing work you are absolutely fantastic❤️👍

[@atypicalspace34]

33:30 got miles Luna flashbacks lol

[@athena1491]

Two things, i think the two explainations for weiss makes sense, the reason shes at beacon specifically and not a local huntress school is to get away from her family, the reason she wanted to be a huntress is to protect herself, since being at beacon is about distance, and her drive to be a hunter is about the threat to her life as a schnee second, and im very excited to weigh in on it because i rarely get to, as a mute person torchwick not using sign language makes sense, because she can hear, and would also make some sense if neither of them know sign, im mute, and i dont know sign, because people can speak to me and i can emote and nod and most people do not know sign, so its kinda not useful for me to know it. As well as the fact she could just text complex replies, meaning the animators dont have to do complex things, or add subtitles baked in to translate. Even though i always appreciate it when sign in animation is realistic (see youtube webseries No Evil for my only known example of this,) though i would find it really cute and would go towards showing their deep bond if just between them they signed on occasion, to keep secrets in a group conversation, much like saying things in a second language no one else around two people know, and we werent privy to what is said we find out through context clues of what they do next

[@annpszczola4624]

I made a whole comment and then it was eaten by KZbin, so here are my highlights! - Thanks for addressing the Velvet thing! What a neat idea that fits the world of RWBY! - Still a little confused about Yang, did she convince herself Summer wasn't her mom or did someone else? - I still think for a mid-range, killed off in the second season boss, the Lieutenant is OP. It makes the professional hunters come off as incredible weak IMO. Unless you're doing a butterfly effect thing. - I made a very long comment about possible effects of dust becoming less common, but here are the highlights: Dust becomes less common = hunters take more risks in combat/lights and stuff are less in city = more dead hunters (maybe cull the cast or even kill off CFVY (If you're planning on doing that))/more death in the Giant Fuck-Off City = moral starts to go down, starts to drive people to other cities = greater reliance on Hunters, grimm picking up more on their Pain Sonars (chaos = good hunting ground for older grimm!) = greater reliance on Ironwood's robots = less security, instability + bigger population due to the Vytal Festival = an absolute nightmare of chaos and security, perfect for sneaking in some White Fang members from out of city = since the WF have all the power, the poorer Faunus start joining up more and more = great opportunity to kill Weiss (because she still has dust and it's sorta the SDC's fault for the dust crisis anyway) = Blake and Weiss either grow closer or further apart, depending on how you wanna do it = general instability in Team RWBY (again) = the perfect chance to frame Yang for something (If you wanna do it that way) OR alternatively, RWBY gets closer together, either way = the perfect storm to destroy Vale. (believe it or not it was way longer originally, lol) I decided that was enough to tell you right now, lol. Quality as usual, Celtic! Thanks!

[@Starwarsdude8221991]

I liked you arc with Wiess giving it some teeth only makes it better

[@fallenhero3654]

*Neo pets*: 33:00

[@InternetAddict069]

I still don't like the changes with Velvet

[@iquestioneverything3426]

Alchemical studio ? Why ? No one ever runs out of ammo in this series ? And that's probably a good thing because fights only lasts for 1 minute so them having less than one minute of ammunition is just stupid.

[@CelticPhoenix]

No one has run out *yet*.

[@iquestioneverything3426]

James Schultz I have never played bbtag so I'm guessing you're talking about reloading, reloading and running out of ammo is not the same thing, I'll be really surprised if bbtag actually makes ruby's projectile attack have a limited ammo.

[@lunarrobot9714]

Celtic Phoenix Productions it would be very important to acknowledge that you CAN run out of dust or ammo. That bit of realizism is always good rich world building.

[@sokumotanaka9271]

i question everythin g My dude you're all over this videos and fatmans etc shitting on everything and adding nothing to the videos. Unless you write and make a video I really don't want to hear you saying things are stupid when most the time you argue just for the sake of it and many people think you're a joke. Please, please stop don't be another knight of balance or soreal.

[@iquestioneverything3426]

sokumo tanaka Because talking about dust economics really fixes a major problem to the horrible writing of rwby, cutting down the amount of characters in rwby or just fusing the characters so that we won't have characters just be in the background doing nothing like nora and ren nah you can't do that that's too different even though these characters doesn't contribute anything to the plot other than slow down the story for their generic backstories, Let's talk about the small annoying things that never affects the story after one scene instead like one minor character's weapons that's the big problems of rwby, how come celtic can talk about a bunch of pointless things but people in the comments can't ? Or do you think he shouldn't talk about pointless things too ? i agree with that, but if he's not giving me those actually useful changes i can't ask about that because it doesn't exist, dont hate the player hate the game.

[@SuperPianogirl123]

I feel like most of my questions are answered. Now, there is one that wasn't covered(or I may have missed it) but it was about the 1st Year Students getting 2nd Year Mentors. It seems like RWBY is the only 1st year team with mentors. In my head, I imagined that JNPR didn't have mentors because Jaune's family name and Pyrrha's status but that didn't make sense to me. You accidentally touched upon Cardin's relationship with his mentor("Because of Cardin's family name, nobody really tries to say or do anything about his actions") but a simple mention or nod would do wonders. Especially considering Rwby/Cfvy/Jnpr had a hang out session at the beginning and JNPR's mentors got no love lol.

[@CelticPhoenix]

Ah, I did skip that one, but I spelled it out back in Season 1: RWBY got in trouble, and to help them sort out their interpersonal differences they were given mentors who could help them. The mentorship program is only really enacted for trouble cases, and blowing up a dust lab on day-one seems to indicate quite a few issues. And even after that mentorship period expires, you bet your sweet ass Ruby is keeping the two groups together as friends.

[@redlock1353]

Just an idea. What if Jaune was made into a robot like Penny. But like a defective deviant or something. One who's circuits can't do shit, but who's Aura is keeping him alive with sheer willpower alone. Know it sounds a little cringy, but it just came to me. I blame David Cage.

[@SuperPianogirl123]

Celtic Phoenix Productions. Oh, I'm sorry! I completely missed that. I knew that I should have rewatched Volume 1 going into Volume 2, but lol. Thanks for the answer

[@therosrex5488]

Personally, I don't see a problem with Torchwick having a Neo-pet.

[@voidjockey82]

So, if I understand this correctly, Velvet's weapon is a Ballista-Howitzer-hybrid that's down-sized enough to be hand-held and can be loaded with dust to produce special ammuntion. That's freakin' metal. You go, precious bunny of destruction.

[@kana22693]

You can avoid the whole dust economics by saying that Torchwick's impact couldn't have possibly been that high, I mean if I rob a few dozen gas station it's not like the prices of gasoline will skyrocket. Same with dust, Torchwick's robberies would probably only raise the prices of dust by something insignificant like 0.25 Lien.

[@samj1512]

Regarding the Racist Torchwick thing; At least the way I interpreted how you wrote him, it wasn't as much as him being less racist, but rather having the wit to understand when to be racist and not. Like, only being openly racist when feeling like he's secure/on top (like he was in the original when he presented the paladins on the recruitment meeting), while having more subtle quips when being in the "lesser" position (like the "proper workers" comment), which wouldn't necessarily be shown in the format you're doing the rewrites in, but rather when writing the actual script.

[@vadandrumist1670]

If only RWBY was more popular. I could see an R rated spin-off where a single loss turns the anime into Blood-C. Though for the spin-off I’d go with a 2D animation.

[@Warclam]

Why… would that be a good thing? They basically did that, in season 3, just in a PG-13 sort of way.

[@vadandrumist1670]

Warclam well like I said it would be a spin-off. Showing off the darker aspects of the universe which we don’t get to see (nor should we) in the main story. After all one of the biggest issues currently is that the Grim simply aren’t that threatening. I could see a story centered around Crow’s life years before volume one.

[@Warclam]

OK, I can see that. I don't think my poor lily liver could handle watching it, but it would be interesting to have that sort of background content to read about.

[@CelticPhoenix]

*Fuck Batmaning Intensifies*

[@DM-Oz]

Hey, i have to ask, whats the music playing in the background? at least around 30:35? Cause i can hear something, but is to low to be possible to even distiguish anything

[@Torchwick109]

I know that this comment is very late and probably not very constructive since season 3 has been redone already but there is something I wanted to go over in a little detail. When it comes to your depiction of Roman Torchwick so far there hasn't been much to complain about, however when it comes to Roman's racism 28:19 I do have a little more of a different view on what that is, to put it simply Roman is an ass not a racist, yes he does use racism but I don't think he actually cares about what someone's race is. He only uses racism because it's another way he can insult someone, for example he can't call a human a critter but if they are wearing glasses he can call them four-eyes, racism is just another way for him to piss people off.

[@Warclam]

I missed the chance to comment in real-time to the original video (on vacation, mostly offline), but I'm back! Most important: I'm upset that I missed the chance to ask about the Queen worm. That was the last episode of the show I watched, because it was SO unbelievable that I went wiki-walking to see if the show got better (and boy did it not). It is _completely absurd_ that someone could break into the main terminal room of a network as important as the CCT, be personally witnessed doing it by the leader of the country in charge of this system, and then… nobody does anything about it? Either they have the access records of her uploading some mysterious program to the system, *or,* there's no record, so she must have deleted it and therefore has definitely messed with the system. There isn't the slightest chance that there's no contingency plan for this. This is the freaking CCT. Tampering with international communication is a global crisis. Even if the worm covers its tracks too well for them to find and delete it, they would just wipe everything and start over. Send out a public advisory that service would be slow for a bit, shift to the isolated backup system, and do a full factory reset on all the equipment. At minimum. I'm not in networks, maybe they have something even better. The entire plot of season 3 is predicated on this working, and it just _doesn't._ The whole "fall of Beacon" is built on a foundation of nonsense! Cinder couldn't get shit from the worm after like 15 minutes, because that's how long it would stay operational, and ONLY if she handed out free concussions to everyone on site that knew anything about how the system worked! *Huff, huff.* Ahem. Well. With that off my chest… "Team SSSuN is just really lame." Yeah, it is. But you've kept the idiotic pronunciation of Schnee (sounds like Captain Hook's first mate? Really?), so I'm really surprised this bothered you enough to change. Why does SSSuN seem worse to you? Replacing Velvet's weapon was a great decision. The copying thing was just… boring. And silly. Fitting with her initial concept is a nice touch too. I love "the Yellow Brick Bunch" as their name. I hereby declare it official. It continues to make me happy that fixing includes calling them seasons instead of volumes. Even if you sometimes struggle to remember which word to say :P

[@Seergun]

"But you've kept the idiotic pronunciation of Schnee" You do know schnee is snow in German, right? and it's pronounced exactly as it is in the show.

[@Warclam]

It most certainly is not. The German double-e rhymes with "say," not "sea."

[@emmapegouske]

- I was assuming you would be keeping Sun as the leader of the team which is why changing Scarlet's name to Ember came to mind to fit the team name change. Team SSSN doesn't really phonetically sound like Season while SESN does. Not to mention, Sun not trying to run away and trying to talk down the guards while being beaten sounds like good leadership quality to me and makes sense as for why Lionheart would choose him. Lionheart and Ozpin are also not the same person and probably have different qualities they look for in team leaders. Sun goes to Haven, remember? - I'll be honest. i missed the fact that Velvet's weapon was an alchemy weapon the first time I watched through your video. I do still think however, that this reveal of her weapon first being used in show to save Cardin should have more effect and show put onto it. - Something to keep in mind about Dust prices rising. Wiess is rich so she wouldn't care about the prices being high. You could even have a scene where someone complains about the price and Weiss doesn't understand how someone could have trouble paying that price because she's desensitized to the price of things.

[@emmapegouske]

Coming back here to add more since I thought about what you said more. So, you're reason for not having Sun as the leader is because you think he's like the heart of the group, right? That mindset comes from the Five-Man Band trope where groups of people in stories can be categorized into one of these labels. The Five-Man Band is made up of the Leader, Lancer, Big Guy, Smart Guy, and Heart. Here's the problem with applying this to RWBY. RWBY only has 4 people per team. Stories when doing this will usually just either leave out one of the labels or more commonly, put two labels onto one character. You said that Yang was the Heart which is true but she's also the Big Guy. This happens in JNPR too where Jaune is not only the leader but also the Heart. I don't see why this couldn't also apply the Team SESN? Sun as Leader/Heart. TL;DR I don't see any reason why Sun couldn't be Leader AND Heart of the group. That excuse seems kinda bullshit. Also, for the curious Ruby - Leader Wiess - Lancer Blake - Smart Guy Yang - Big Guy/Heart Jaune - Leader/Heart Pyrrha - Lancer Ren - Smart Guy (You could also make a case for Jaune being the Smart Guy but I don't think Ren fills in the Heart at least, not very well) Nora - Big Guy Sun - Leader/Heart Scarlet/Ember - Smart guy probably Sage - Big Guy probably Neptune - Lancer You could even do this for RNJR. Ruby - Leader Jaune - Lancer/Heart Ren - Smart Guy Nora - Big Guy

[@Angelofdeth20]

We should talk more I need to do more in the discord

[@ericajackson6662]

The only problem I have with Cinder's semblance being deflection is that Amber used the same technique when Emerald was shooting at her. Which made it either a Maiden technique or an advanced aura skill. I personally like it as an advanced aura skill, but for your revision, I just recommend editing the Amber VS Cinder fight so Amber doesn't use it.

[@ericajackson6662]

James Schultz I'm not certain what you're talking about, so I think I need to clarify what I meant. In V1, Ep1 Cinder is seen blocking Ruby's bullets. In V3, Ep6 or 7 Amber is seen doing the same thing with Emerald's bullets. Thus the reason I was calling it an advanced aura technique or a Maiden skill. So in order for it to become Cinder's "deflection shield" semblance, Amber cannot do the exact same thing in their fight due to semblances having unique characteristics for each individual (with exception to hereditary ones).

[@whitedrakon2098]

Any potential stories on the nation mistral conquered nations that are conquered peoples tend to resist occupation and develop nationalist sentiments generations after the fact

[@blotlessscribe3728]

Looking absolutely smashing there, Aragorn. Now you really look the part as rightful King of Gondor. Observations about hair aside (nice though it may be), I figure that as a general Ironwood to be familiar with calculated risks, though Ozpin certainly has a gambling addiction and he needs an intervention. It is certainly an interesting point of conflict for them. On the topic of a vaguely global Faunus culture, Menagerie does not have a CCT tower. Besides, why would the Faunus want to share culture globally? It’s not as if they have a holy book or tome of customs, nor a priestly class to preserve and enforce traditions, nor an idea that they share the heritage of an ancient nation-the Faunus have no universal cultural common ground or beliefs. Foreigners are foreigners, same race or no. What stops a Faunus from Atlas thinking that everyone from Vacuo (other Faunus included) is raised with criminal tendencies? Faunus from Mistral could just find Atlas culture to be dull and tasteless and not want anything to do with it, and think Menagerie culture is vastly inferior to their culture by incorporating it. I imagine that Faunus have no more a global culture than the humans do, however far that may be. Velvet does not take out her weapon at the breach because of the Dust shortages and consequent heightened prices, you say? So let me summarize from the view of public perception: the White Fang is suspected to be stealing all the Dust in the first place-this Faunus-exclusive terrorist cell led by a Faunus supremacist-and they attack with their Grimm “minions” for seemingly no purpose but slaughtering humans, and the one publicly known Faunus Huntsman at the breach refuses to help because she was hoarding her Dust? Oof, wow, those are some _bad_ optics. (Hold on, I thought she was fighting in Season 2. Did you retcon that already? If so, then you are truly worthy of the dubious honor of rewriting RWBY, lol) Hot damn is it convenient that you have the topic on screen in big letters. That makes the video even better on top of that I do adore that you do these videos.

[@CelticPhoenix]

As for the CCT... I'll have to get back to you on that... because that's something that even the show hasn't answered (people actively use scrolls there). As to Velvet, that's a good points. She *was* fighting at the Breach, but only really opened up to save Cardin. I'll think if I can do anything with that optics issue... XD

[@blotlessscribe3728]

If World of Remnant counts, then only the Kingdoms have CCT towers. The towers are in the Huntsmen academies, if I recall correctly. Cinder destroyed the one at Beacon and Adam failed to blow up the one at Haven. Though I’m not sure what the place Weiss visited is then. Some place for operators to connect calls, maybe. Blake and Sun went around asking for signatures on their scrolls, so either it could not be done remotely or they preferred to do it in person and they didn’t have a pen and paper. I guess from Blake’s family not hearing from her for years that they cannot directly call from Menagerie. Perhaps everyone has a scroll but no reception-a glorified PDA, pretty much If the point of Menagerie was to get rid of the Faunus then it would be well suitable to keep them removed from the world or simply the cost for the construction was too low for the return. I can see why you struggle with this series. It’s basically divining lore from tea dredges.

[@freddiet.rowlet525]

So Velvet is suped-up Honey Lemon from Big Hero 6

[@dakotadoyle7573]

Velvet isn't a blue mage, She's a Mimic. Her semblance allows her to copy fighting styles and her weapon was designed to compliment that

[@CelticPhoenix]

Tell that to Monty who described her as... a mage... which mimics _aren't_. Blue mage is the nearest equivalent to what we can determine he meant, and it's very lacking.

[@halogent8294]

Do you have any stories or fanfics you have written yourself that you're willing to share. You seem to have a strong understanding of how character's should be developped and interact with one another that I feel a lot of directors and writers these days are sorely missing, and I personally would love to see some of your work.

[@CelticPhoenix]

I have a fanfiction.net and archive of our own profile under the same name as this channel, so that's free for you to peruse. But, if you want to stick around the channel, I have a collection of short stories I'll be releasing in hopefully the next week or so, so keep an eye out for that announcement!

[@olivegem6853]

Ah so Velvet is basically Honey Lemon in this version

[@markervine1855]

Eh I don't think taking leadership away from the only faunus of the main groups is such a good idea cause I see sun being a potentially great leader as well.

[@markervine1855]

Also who was complaining that Roman wasn't racist enough? His only racist line in canon was saying "damn animals" I mean oh no muh immersion! I can't get into this series of there aren't uncomfortable racial slurs. Gah ha ha ha ha! I'm gonna choke

[@travonarmstrong6093]

I actually think that the opposite is true. Having Sun be the leader was always odd to me in canon because faunus are supposed to be discriminated against but we see a faunus that was given a highly important role and is never shown having hardships for his position despite being seen as "less than" the majority population. Having him not be the leader helps to show that faunus at the very least aren't given everything on a silver platter like in the actual show.

[@travonarmstrong6093]

James Schultz Oh I agree completely that the narrative should have humans and faunus working together, I was talking more as to helping Celtic Pheonix Productions with his project. CPP has said that the point of his "Fixing RWBY" series is to show that it is at least possible to keep almost all of RWBY's disparate elements and tie them together to make a coherent narrative, so my previous comment was made more for his benefit rather than the actual show. As for the actual show, I'm also a believer that the racism subplot shouldn't have existed and that it's actual more of a detriment to the series. It's one of the first things that I cut out during my outline for my own RWBY rewrite. CPP is doing more of a restructure of the series whereas my aim is to recreate it almost wholesale; taking out elements like the racism subplot that I feel hinder the series, enhancing elements that could've helped the series but wasn't fleshed out in the show( like the Grimm for example) and adding in new subplots to fill in the one's I cut out. The biggest thing that I want anyone to take away from my upcoming project is that RWBY currently has no core that everything revolves around, making the show an incoherent mess. For my RWBY rewrite, the core that I've given it is this: *Like the Law of Equivalent Exchange in Fullmetal Alchemist, this rewrite has one concrete rule that it must abide by: Grimm are attracted to negativity, almost to the point that they are blind/inactive without it.* Everything in my series ties back to this, even cutting out the racism subplot. In a world where humanity is on the verge of extinction, they don't have time to worry about trivial things like what race you are. If you have traits that can help combat the Grimm( which the faunus do) then you are an asset. I keep Blake being a part of the White Fang, as I do believe that there is good potential in exploring that idea. The problem with the way the writers handle it is that for Blake's plotline being supposedly about themes that heavily imply a political thriller, she sure has a lot of trashy romance tropes in her story and even those aren't explored at all. Excluding Sun, I tossed out all of the romance elements in her story and my justification for her wanting faunus equality is something that I've been arguing for a very long time that the show should've done: That it turns out that all of Blake's bellyaching about faunus discrimination was just White Fang propaganda that's been ingrained in her since birth and her character arc was her learning how the world is much different( and somewhat better) than what she's been told and ends up as a much wiser and kinder woman because of that. Not only would this have made us sympathize with Blake because we know that some of her traits were born from a situation that she truly couldn't control but still flaws that she could overcome, this would also be a good excuse for learning about how Remnant actually functions since Blake doesn't. My RWBY rewrite is still in the first draft phase so I'm still working on it. I have written a couple of RWBY stories to at least get my feet wet when it comes to writing this world and characters and writing in general. The work that I've done so far can be seen here: www.fanfiction.net/~gateoftruth201

[@emmapegouske]

Travon Armstrong Haven Academy is run by a Faunus though. makes sense that Lionheart would pick a Faunus to run a team.

[@Merilirem]

Watching this now and wondering if the volume 3 video got any wrenches thrown into it lol.

[@joelsasmad]

With the Velvet thing I just have to ask "why"? Like I understand that she might have originally been envisioned as a "caster" but what we got with her as a blue mage type is insanely cool and no one really was complaining. It is not something that needed to be "fixed". This video also doesn't address why you removed the Dog Canon attack.

[@CelticPhoenix]

Just because no one was complaining doesn’t mean it wasn’t a flaw. And for the record, _I and my colleagues_ were complaining at the time. You must remember, this was a period of time where we didn’t know the drawbacks of her ability, thus making her wildly overpowered in comparison to literally every other character in the show. Even _with_ her drawbacks, it’s an OP ability, and it breaks the balancing of the world. I also argue this is more than likely one of those elements that was changed from the original intention after Monty’s death, something that wasn’t written down and he took with him. That’s just how the overall execution of her combat style and its inconsistencies between volumes played out. As to the doggy canon, I’ll need to revisit my notes, but I think it’s because animals no longer have aura. It also served more purpose having Zwei up at the front of the train causing the crash, instead of back with Oobleck. I honestly find it much more amusing than the goofy dog canon that was ripped straight from FF8.

[@joelsasmad]

​@@CelticPhoenix I understand if people assumed she could copy semblances, but I really have to argue against the take that her semblance is too powerful after learning it doesn't. That is like saying Taskmaster is too strong for the Xmen. She's versatile but not at all stronger than most of the semblances we see in the main characters. She can throw punches but doesn't have the strength of Yang that increases with injury, she doesn't zip around the battlefield like Ruby building momentum behind her scythe, she can have swords and acrobatics, but doesn't use clones for mobility and taking hits like Blake, and can't do 99% of the things Weiss does(seriously, if anyone's semblance is "breaks the world", it is the one that can mess with time as just one of the dozens of things it does). *Especially if you are changing things so that everyone has a semblance she cannot copy*, it is perfectly balanced. Heck, even if you weren't she copies muscle movements, not the strength of someone's aura. I am less passionate about removing the doggy canon, but I don't see why we couldn't have both. Zwei gets launched from the back of the train towards the front, which would even explain how he showed up there in the first place. Also if we are about respecting Monty's original vision here, I don't see why you would remove animals with auras. They have souls and people would definitely try to awaken them.

[@ajauriemma7289]

Like your work

[@Dreadnoughtola678]

I discovered this series and channel yesterday and have been really been enjoying watching it. The transparent nature of the series is refreshing, and I have a lot of respect for the attitude you hold in regards to feedback and the series itself. That being said (in with that in mind), I do have a couple of disagreements. - The lieutenants strength. I understand that he's meant to be a natural power type bruiser, but winning against 4 teams AND two teachers (one of which is Port, who's a big dude and would probably be a heavy hitter himself?) is way too much. Teachers in this kind of shonen style show tend to be veterens/best of the best type of characters, something you play on with Oobleck, so it feels weird that theyd' struggle with this guy who doesn't even get a name. Was the intent that most of them were fighting off the grimm? (It didn't seem that way from the visuals and explanation) - Velvets abilities. Your reasoning for the change seemed to boil down to '''I don't like it", which stands out as odd considering the high standard for reasoning you otherwise employ. I think you mention at some point in the lore video keeping a point because of something along the lines of "I still want this to be RWBY". In defence of her original canon abilities: - Firstly, one interesting aspect is that it shows off hardlight dust which is used for the forcefields throughout the show, eventually being a a major point in the fight against Cordovin's (I think I spelt that wrong) mech in Argus. It also has that price element as Hardlight dust seems rare outside of Atlas, so it would be a expensive/difficult resource to acquire (esecially for a faunus) that she needs to make ppropper use of her semblance (since carrying around duplpicates of everyone's weaons would be way too much). - Secondly, it shows off an interesting category of semblance, the type you have to build up and prepare leading up to a fight. It's very heavily implied that she 'uses up'' her immitations which adds a secondary element to why she has learned to avoid conflict (like against Cardin), and the idea of gathering and building up that kind of repetoire adds more credence to the benefit and effectiveness of the huntsman academies (creating an environment where those with semblances that require resources can acquire those resources). - Thirdly, it points out the very interesting dichotemy with powerrful semblances. Velvet is very strong when she uses it, but is also very obviously dependant on it. Consequently the story shows the issue of relying too much on any single aspect of being a huntsman.

[@CelticPhoenix]

Fair points, though allow me to attempt a counter. -With the Lieutenant, there was _also_ a Grimm invasion to handle, so there’s that. And while the teachers are powerful, they’re not overwhelmingly so. While I talked about ‘power levels’ back in V1, it really is more a measure of skill and ability, and this guy’s pretty damned far up that scale when it comes to being a tank. Still, valid criticism, I very much appreciate it! -Velvet goes deeper than just “I don’t like it” (though I honestly don’t and I can’t remember exactly what I said in this video, it has been years XD) For one, back when I made this, the nature of her semblance and its drawbacks were unknown to us. All we knew was that she summoned headlight weapons and could basically perfectly replicate a patron’s fighting style. There was zero indication of a drawback (including any mention of hardlight dust) so my decision was based upon only what we saw in Volume 3 and what little commentary they gave on the matter. This was before the first book came out and explained it, so you cannot retroactively say I took away an element I didn’t know existed. -That said, I still may very well have changed it due to redundancy within the cast _and_ the strange disconnect we have between V2 and V3 where it seems like the box was going to be used in a different way (go back to V2’s Breach and look how she holds it; why would she hold it like that when in V3 she doesn’t even need to touch it?) Monty described her as ‘a mage’ and this is a rare instance where, writing wise, he may have taken the actual idea with him (not normally an idea I subscribe to, but this is one of those exceptions). What they had in V3 feels more like they were short on time and reused old animations to give her a badass moment that… honesty falls flat, at least for me. -as for why I changed it to the grenade launcher, it’s a lesser used weapon in the series, having only Nora for competition, and it stands out from that by doubling as a support build more like Weiss. The idea that Velvet can mix dust on the fly gives us insight and access not to just hardlight, but _all_ types of dust when she uses it, and it reinforces that she’s an incredibly intelligent character for being able to do on-the-spot chemistry for either bigger bangs or more creative support solutions. While Al’s not definitely not what Monty initially intended, it feels closer to a mage than whatever they put in the show (I guess FF blue mage? You know, the worst kind of FF mage XD) So I hope my reasoning is understandable.

[@Dreadnoughtola678]

@@CelticPhoenix That's totally reasonable! What's unreasonable was me offering thoughts without noticing the date the video was posted, haha. It's a bit funny, the Velvet copycat fight scene is actually one of my favourite scenes from the show (That's always preference though, so it's understandable disliking it!), which is why it's' extra embarrasing that: I was a bit confused when you mentioned the semblance and drawbacks being unknown at the time, but now I've realised that ideas I thought were clearly implied (a result of Coco's comment, the picture taking, her behaviour and how the fight itself played out) just weren't, and that I've been mentally considering an assumption to be canon for years now. XD (Note to self: research > memory) Total respect for answerring a partially unreasonable comment on a 4 year old video! Back to watching the rest of the fixing RWBY series!

[@thealliedpowers]

Freezing a wheel spinning that fast would probably just cause the ice to be crushed under before it can grow big enough to have an effect. Also, not being good at physics things is a valid excuse, where as one of the writers said they weren't good at remembering things, which is kind of important.

[@CelticPhoenix]

That was the intent with my phrasing XD

[@dagger341]

Here is a question that I think should be nailed down, for lore, world-building, and also for character consistency. Is Beacon a High School, or equivalent, or is it a college equivalent. The reason I ask is because there are several instances of pointing out how young these characters are. Glenda and Ozpin, at the food fight, and the rest of team RWBY about their young leader. All of which would be out of character in a real college. You are an adult, and expected to behave as one. I have heard that Yang is officially 17 at the start of volume 1, but I can't help but see the inspiration that the writers took from High School Anime, right down to the uniforms. Also, bullying is a High School troupe. In college you are expected to deal with it. If you are Harassed, you don't go to the principal, you go to the Police, and have them thrown in jail for harassment! Why? They are adults too. They are legally responsible for their actions. In addition, in the latest patch for Amity Arena, Junior is mentioned as having almost kissed a minor -Yang- before she "Beat up his men, knocked the DJ out, pummeled his girls, and punched him so hard, that his club blew up." I know 17 is technically minor status in the US, certain laws not withstanding, but there are several parts of the world where she would be considered an adult, tried as an adult, and treated legally as an adult at that age. All of this leads me to think that, while they are "conveniently" of age, it is meant to be a high school. I am willing to be proven wrong, but I would need some pretty solid and logical trains of thought to enable my jump.

[@CelticPhoenix]

It's sort of a mix between High School, College and a Trade School. It has the proximal structure of a high school (in order to reinforce some discipline) with the typical course load of college and trade school. And Yang being an adult and being wanted for assault and vandalism was a big fix to her trailer I addressed back in V1

[@dagger341]

@@CelticPhoenix I did see the fix, and approve of it. I have watched all eight parts you have put up. It definitely helped pass the long hours on the road :) my point, I guess was to figure out how old the characters actually are, and how that affects the schooling, and that structure in society. How DO you become a huntsman/huntress? There is a school below Beacon, signal in Ruby's case, so, how do you get into that? Also, even at the outside, Ruby would have been 11 entering Signal, assuming a consistent 4 year structure, 12 with a Japanese 3 year one. This also involves the idea of schooling in the general populous, and the role that government has in it. Are there scholorships to be a hunter? When is specialization from general education allowed? How do different kingdoms handle this process? I know these questions are not truly relevant to the story, but it bothers me that the girls are treated like freshmen in High School, still children, and the occasional food fight is ok, but the age and position they claim makes the behavior of most of the student cast seem far too imature. I know it's silly, but as a fan of the show, it is something that I have been frustrated by, especially in other fantasy-highschool settings.

[@CelticPhoenix]

Good points all around, and having so many different schools represented in V3 would give me plenty of points to explore those questions (if I can keep everything I want to do in track). Thanks for the feedback!

[@Finnians]

No dislikes.

[@evanrose96]

Thanks for commenting on up to 10 topics I brought up in the comments. Looking forward to your next video.

[@CelticPhoenix]

You brought up so many good points, it was hard to narrow them down to the most relevant ones (some I think would provoke spoilers). Thanks for being such an effective critic!

[@evanrose96]

Celtic Phoenix Productions Thanks, though as a note- I did not write my comments in the mindset of a critic. I wrote them more in line as a collaborator; bringing up topics and thoughts I thought you might want to consider. The show has the benefit and curse of having a lot of moving parts and story elements and a problem with the original version is that the writers don’t consider them. Your effort is very admirable and this defiantly serves as a great writing exercise for not only you but your engaged audience.

[@juma8126]

17:22 This reminds me of the way "powers" work in "Wild Cards". I honestly wish more media used the idea of useless, yet fantastical powers. Great videos btw. I know I'm four years late writing this comment, but I really enjoy your version of RWBY (and since I haven't watched the OG thing it's just nice to listen to, as its own, original story)

[@TJCID22]

I noticed 1 problem only just now. Does Ozpin know about Penny? If no then earlier during the tower hack you said the general posted his own guards because he requisitioned the tower for "valuable materiial". Wouldn't Ozpin what to know what his, essentially, home be used for?

[@rostalolman]

Thank you for addressing my comments and concerns! I appreciate you clarifying that Roman is simply tactful, but would still be racist in private. I also like your explanation for how Weiss's seemingly conflicting motivations can interact and intertwine as to actually make sense and relate to each other. I also appreciate your honesty in simply stating you're not all that savvy in physics regarding what would make the ice fail to stop the train. However, I disagree with your assertion that it would be difficult for the animators to animate Neo using sign language. I agree with the idea of Roman simply talking to Neo normally and just being able to understand sign language, and it's something I should've clarified in my original comment. I also agree that Neo would use her facial expression and general body language as a large component of her communication as well, especially since non-mute people use facial and body expression as a part of normal communication anyways. I can also contend with the idea that Neo could be naturally a quiet person, in the sense that she simply doesn't have much to say and prefers watching and keeping her thoughts private. But I think she would open up more and be more chatty with Roman, especially when they're alone together. My largest issue with your outline on this subject, when you were describing her going through a series of facial expressions in response to Roman's talking, was that it was the only form of communication you mentioned happening between them, even when Roman was being open with her. It felt very much like you were implying it was all she could do. I do thank you for agreeing and clarifying that she would at least use sign language occasionally. I think it would allow for even more nuanced interactions between her and Roman. As for the matter with the animators, sign language honestly isn't that complex. There are guides and dictionaries that exist, or you could even consult an ASL expert. If they can animate fight scenes and dance sequences, they can animate communicative gestures. We can even throw subtitles up on the screen when she's signing, so people don't get too confused. This was a really long comment that basically boils down to me just insisting that it's not particularly challenging to show Neo using sign language with Roman, at least during their conversation in the cabin. Sorry for the long comment, lol. Once again, thank you for all your hard work and for your responses. I wish you the best in the future for volume 3, which was my personal favorite, despite everything. :)

[@CelticPhoenix]

You underestimate how much work goes into animating fine hand gestures. Broad sweeping gestures are easy, and mocap does take a bit out of the animation load, but there's a reason "A Silent Voice" was probably the most well done film last year for me. Getting hand gestures right 100%, accounting too for human error and flaw, making it look right; when you need to devote your heavy hitters to animating big fights and the fine details in those, you have scant few resources left to animate an unfettered number of hand motions like sign language. Thanks for the comment though! Sign-language Neo/Roman dynamic is such a great suggestion, even if we differ on the plausibility!

[@robotspgc]

(I apologize for the redundancy if you've read this comment before but it just wasn't prominent enough to mention) I'd like to know how much the Fairy Tale aspect of RWBY is going to affect the characters and the plot as a whole in the future. This might seem like a minor thing, but the fact that all the characters were based off of Fairy Tale characters was something that drew me to this series, and it's something that's stuck with it regardless (however minor). I'd like to know if characters who originate from the same story, like Penny (Pinocchio) and Roman Torchwick (Romio Lampwick), will play roles reminiscent of their respective stories? More than that, I'd like to know if Cinder's backstory will play at all into how she's based off of Cinderella. Again, I apologize if you've already read this before (especially if it was from me) but it was one of the things that intrigued me the most about RWBY, and it's by far something I've wanted to know about ever since you started this series.

[@Dizalddin]

So i just found this series and love it (one marathon later..). But i'm already a month late on this video and not sure how relevant my comment will be. Because of that, this will probably be a long one and a culmination of my thoughts up to this point. [Edit: Yeah, no. That's a lot. Sorry.] 1. *A bit of clarification on the Cinder section of the video.* I think i'm following that those are the changes being made and not the interpretation of the original series? As we see the same bullet deflection being used by Autumn during the attack, which implies it's a maiden power. Although i would agree that is kind of a weird "magic" thing. But my assumption on Cinder's canon semblance were those explosive-portal'y things, since we see her do it without dust(clothes) during the same attack on Autumn. My thinking that they are either unstable portals or portals that for whatever reason are only connected to unstable fire dust crystals. And she applies it either through direct contact or with a limit of 1 degree of separation (so whatever she touches, touches. ie: the arrows she shot. via her heels and touching the ground whens she jumps away from Qrow. and in v1c1 an oddly specific camera shot of a lava like substance that lands on the roof, in which cinder waves a hand and makes the explosions). 2. *Regarding Volume/Season 3.* Something that plucked at my imagination string while watching(more like 15th rewatch) the end of v3 is that there are no Goliath Grimm in the main battle. Which i've personally started working on a story about a team on the wall that helped hold them off, those people must have done some work. Anyway, i was wondering how you would handle it. Auto-cannons take them out? They do break in? I'd think they would be a big enough threat to send many huntsmen out to stop them and the rest of the horde, help quell the influx of Grimm. 3. *Hinting at a bigger part Ruby/Silver Eyes will have to play.* This hasn't been touched on yet in the original (*crosses fingers for V6*) series. But i don't think i'm the first one to notice some parallels between Yang and Ruby being the Sun and Moon respectively. "My sunny little dragon" As said by Taiyang about Yang, as well as her fire and bright attitude. Then Ruby's "Crescent" Rose, along with her "Silver" eyes. Silver being a color often associated with the moon. And in taking that connection a bit further, maybe the moon having something to do with the Eye power and destroying Grimm. If Salem thought it was the source of these Warrior's power, she might have tried to disrupt it. (Also the connection between Grimm and Maidens being hurt by the Silver Eyes could be that they are both "Magic" and thus the Silver Eye power is a sort of "Anti-Magic" ability). So maybe small lore drops or a mention of a book Ruby once read? 4. *Penny isn't dead.* I freakin hope she is, buuuuut there were a few inconsistencies. She tells Ruby that "I have a plan." then immediately kill her, which is either bad writing or they knew and had a longer term plan for her not to be dead. Match that with the reaction her Father had, which was less shock or sadness and more anger. If Penny did something like oh i dunno, notice that a new Scroll tried to establish a connection with her (Cinder's). She could use that as a bridge to connect to the tower's mainframe just before she died. Via Cinder's scroll to Ironwood's scroll and to Ozpin's desk.. Or she just uploaded herself while she was in Beacon Tower off screen. Which would actually tie in nicely to your change, the time she went into the tower to get an update from Father.

[@iRatman_]

10:43 So what I'm hearing is a multi-shot version of the Crossbow launcher from Battlefield 1, or something like it.

[@SpringDragonfly15]

I don't know, it might be fine to have the heart of the team also be the leader, since there's only four. I think you linked to this spreadsheet "Adding Flavor to Remnant" in a previous one, but that has a couple of suggestions for Cardin's semblance (but I'm biased because I posted mine there). I was gonna say that the self-defense could've been a cover to avoid bringing up her issue with her father, but your explanation for Weiss's actions was much better. For Volume 3 suggestions, change some Shade students to Faunus and have SSNS fight JNPR or CRDL. Also, maybe make it so the Vytal Festival effects a lot of people's decisions about which schools to enroll in, so that you have stronger motivations for characters without getting too deep into them.

[@nikhilkapoor428]

I agree with your explanation of Aura. One could theoretically break through someone’s Aura and kill a person if they hit them really really hard. Like, getting hit with 20 shotguns at once square in the chest (for someone like Juane, maybe). Ooh, I hope you do something with that.

[@shmee123ful]

So your version of vervit is make her like honey lemon from big hero six....cool

[@joemaxwel1997]

So is this dead

[@CelticPhoenix]

Nope 00110100 00110001 00100000 00110111 00110111 00100000 00110110 00110001 00100000 00110110 00111001 00100000 00110111 00110100 00100000 00110010 00110000 00100000 00110100 00110001 00100000 00110111 00110000 00100000 00110111 00110010 00100000 00110110 00111001 00100000 00110110 01100011 00100000 00110010 00110000 00100000 00110011 00110010 00100000 00110011 00110111 00100000 00110010 00110000 00100000 00110011 00110010 00100000 00110011 00110000 00100000 00110011 00110001 00100000 00110011 00111001

[@rand0md00d3]

Are you gonna make Fixing RWBY volume 3 or you're already having a major breakdown? I'm telling you right now, your health is more important than RWBY.

[@CelticPhoenix]

The last video is still cooling man, let me work on other things for a little bit and I'll be back right and ready to go! XD

[@rand0md00d3]

sorry don't want to stress ya XD

[@jpatel0398]

I can't remember whether it was actually mentioned in your videos, but when did they use the "Forever Fall" move before the Breach? I feel like if you somehow establish that move somewhere else before hand it would feel a lot more significant

[@CelticPhoenix]

While I didn't really focus on it, the fact that RWBY used team attacks in the Paladin fight were the set-up to this. That scene would not logically encompass half a year of tactics in one go, so the team must have have other team attacks that went unused. 'Forever Fall' would just be one example of that. In fact, astute viewers would be able to pick up that the attack bears a striking resemblance to the way RWBY and JNPR defeated the Ursa Major back in my Season 1 of this series... which happened back in, you guessed it, Forever Fall. Something, Something, poetry and rhymes. :P

[@garrettcarter5622]

It amazes me that you know all these minor characters' names.

[@CelticPhoenix]

It becomes pretty easy when you actually give them actual personalities to define them.

[@Warclam]

OK, calmed down, I'll try a question instead of a rant. Based on my understanding of network security, it's not plausible for an obvious break-in like Cinder's to have compromised the CCT's security indefinitely, given the CCT's extreme importance. I ask, do you have an explanation for how it works out that way?

[@CelticPhoenix]

Mutating computer virus. Considering Lionheart probably gave Salem (and by proxy Watts) access to the Mistral CCT, I'd imagine they have a pretty good idea how to program around contingencies and redundancies.

[@Warclam]

That would work wonders for being unable to find and analyze it, I agree. But it wouldn't stop technicians from doing an emergency factory reset, to make sure the world's most important computer system isn't compromised.

[@CelticPhoenix]

I think part of the worm could also be in Mistral's tower, so when there is a factory reset, it survives and reinfects everything. That, or they didn't want to risk a factory reset this close to the festival.

[@Warclam]

Hmm. If the first thing the worm did was grab the information it needed to get back in from its home base in Mistral… yeah, that might work, if they knew that a factory reset would preserve those details. It would still be bewildering before discovering that the King of Mistral was a turncoat, but it could explain it afterward. Not doing a full reset at all is ridiculous though. It's hideously inconvenient, but not doing it would be incredibly stupid and reckless-oh, Ozpin was still in charge then. Yeah, that explains everything.

[@righteousham]

So, I know I'm late to the party here but I've had a thought worth sharing. If the virus needs to be uploaded to each tower, than a factory reset will kill it, and it makes no sense for them not to do so considering what they saw and should suspect. You've stated James is a cautious man, Celtic so I can't see him leaving this to fate; nor does it makes sense for Ozpin to do either. However, if the virus can travel between towers to escape the effects of a factory reset, than there's no reason for Cinder's plan. Should Lionheart gave her access to the network, and with him comprised there's no reason for him not to have done so, than the Beacon operation is completely superfluous. You may have dug yourself into a bit of a hole, Celtic.

[@guerra3710]

Sooo semblances are quirks lol

[@librathebeautifulwarmonk1283]

Yeah they're basically worse quirks XD

[@iquestioneverything3426]

So ozpin is a headmaster and the architect of the city, don't you think being an architect requires too much time to be a part time job, shouldn't the mayor just give this job to someone else rather than bothering the local headmaster about it.

[@CelticPhoenix]

He was more like an adviser to the defense contractor who set up the canons.

[@iquestioneverything3426]

Why does roman need so much dust in your story ?

[@CelticPhoenix]

Well, in Season 1, the robberies were pure profit for him. He's a thief. He likes money. He has a picture of the OG Garret hanging in his foyer. In Season 2, when working for the fang, it's to arm the militia, power the Paladins, and create the bombs.

[@iquestioneverything3426]

You still forget to address some of the other questions, How does penny lose her skin if she has aura ? Why did you have cinder be interested in phyrra's semblance when she could've just sent adam and neo to one hit k.o. penny after a battle ? To make the students look more violent to the public ? If you wanted to do that you could've just had the entire cinder's team be full of evil kids who smashes other students brains in after their aura is depleted and then pretend they didn't mean to, why did cinder upload the virus when neo could've just done it better ? Why is roman needed when adam is a member of cinder's team ? Why did salem even bother with the grimm invasion if the maidens are her goal ? Just send a miniature robot spy that looks like a water strider bug on a quest to find where ozpin keeps his secrets, you're telling me this advanced society capable of building mechs hasn't built miniature robots that looks like bugs yet.

[@CelticPhoenix]

Aura only reduces damage, it does not negate it. Enough damage still got through to tear her skin, as it would to break bones or cut any other person. I've not reached Volume 3 yet, let me actually write it before you start doing backflips over plot points I'm most likely going to be editing anyway. Roman was a happy accident for Cinder that expedited things and gave a new pawn to play with. Salem doesn't seem like much of a tech person beyond having Watts as her IT guy. And he seems more computer savvy than engineering savvy.

[@iquestioneverything3426]

Celtic Phoenix Productions How does a guy who counts dusts makes things happen sooner than the leader of the white fang ?

[@emmapegouske]

Salem's goal was the relics. Not the Maidens.