Fixing The Mummy (2017)

"I promise I won't spend the whole video comparing this film to The Mummy 1999"
spends the whole video comparing this film to The Mummy 1999
The Mummy review so incendiary it was blocked in Denmark.
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[@PopeSixtusVI]

I will never forgive Hollywood for setting up the image of an Egyptian horror show creature slaughtering horrified and screaming ISIS members in terror after they disturbed her resting place and desecrated her tomb and then not giving it to us.

[@Jae678]

"You're a younger man" Says Russel Crowe to Tom Cruise...who's 2 years older than him

[@Predator20357]

Wait what? My goodness, is Tom Cruise a vampire?

[@LordVader1094]

@@Predator20357 Yes. Unironically.

[@nickklavdianos5136]

But looks 10 or 20 years older.

[@aidaspelikis4230]

I mean, he's not wrong...

[@Zestrayswede]

@@Predator20357 In Inside Job he literally is

[@ZemplinTemplar]

"But the fact that you made an action-adventure film is not the problem. The problem is that you've let a self-obsessed movie star walk all over you and your movie. And that you arrogantly thought The Mummy would be a sure-fire box office hit." Well said !

[@thethirdsicily4802]

"Nazis are fun" I think we should all quote him on this.

[@blitzkriegdragon013]

@Cheeki Breeki So socialist they murdered communists and ceased the means of production from the people giving the state and private business. Yes, such socialist, many for the people.

[@SplotPublishing]

@Cheeki Breeki Oh God, that is so dumb, it hurts. Even if true, it completely misses the POINT he was making. Nazis are fun because they are not the right now scariest villains actually murdering people in our world, for real. ISIS is not funny. Even if you had a few years past their deadlist years, and they were just a historical footnote, there's not much of comedy to work with there. The exaggerated overcompensation for manliness in the Nazi uniform, the tight assed performance of ritual subservience... it's the stuff of humor. There's much there to mine. But ISIS... they're just hateful assholes that kill people. Meh. Maybe in 50 years, if ISIS has been Xed out as thoroughly as the real Nazis were, maybe our grandkids will make hilarious parodies. Right now, any parody of ISIS is likely to just be eyerolling bad.

[@ChrisCaramia]

See: Atun-Shei's Klaus.

[@gehtdichnixan3200]

@Cheeki Breeki no they had not because they only thought that there ingroup shold have those rights and mostly they only propagadet those idears because they whant working class people it was a apropaganda scheme fucking nazis where capitalist as fuck ... idiots in every matter

[@wisemankugelmemicus1701]

@@SplotPublishing ISIS is goofier than the Nazis. Look up Abu Abdul Bari. When they captured him they had to lift him into a truck with a crane. We already make fun of ISIS. ffs their training consists of stuff that preschoolers do for fun. They dress like ninjas and carry around scimitars. ISIS is goofy as hell.

[@Jebbtube]

Not to counter-nitpick, but technically Osiris was the god of death. Anubis was the judge of the dead, but your point still stands.

[@flintread2303]

Osiris is god of rebirth in the afterlife this is why all Pharaohs are depicted in their tombs as a form of Osiris (with blue skin) during the opening of the mouth ceremony that is usually being carried out by the new king or queen. The Egyptians had no god of death at all death was a final state of non existence for those that failed the tests to enter the afterlife. At which point Maat would dissolve their Ba forever into chaos.

[@bencebotye3904]

Egyptian mythology had a hell of a long history. In modern comparison is much closer to Hinduism rather Greek polytheism, many gods was mixed and changed they roles over the thousands of years. After this video, I want to see a fan-edit which follow take Tom Cruise and Jake M Johnson try to be act adventury in the middle of Cairo rush hour.

[@elisabethschmerzler963]

Osiris was the *Ruler* of the dead, while Anubis was the god *OF* death. Like the realm of the afterlife was what he governed, and he represented other things, but he didn’t kill people. It’s like how in Greek Mythology Hades ruled the underworld but was the god of wealth and Kong’s, while Thanatos was the god who actually killed you (most notably in the myth of Sisphyus)

[@skynyrdjesus]

I don't know of a single faith in world history in which the god of the dead was also the god who presided over the actual act of dying. Even Abrahamic monotheism incorporates some form of entity who oversees death and shepherds souls to God, for example the Enochian Samael. Now, interestingly, in the Egyptian faith it is said that Anubis was once the god of both death and the dead, but stepped down from administering the afterlife following the murder of Osiris, but the gulf of history makes it impossible to say for certain whether is an actual example of long term changes in the belief structure, or simply another aspect of the mythical narrative. Im by no means an Egyptologist, but if there is actual evidence of people worshipping Anubis as the god of the dead, or records from before the popular rise of the Osiris resurrection myth, as there are for the evolution of Horus, Ra and Amun-Ra, I don't know of it

[@DevjKaiser]

The 1999 will always be the best one. Forever in its own category. 😭💕

[@Sol-Amar]

Understandable. What do you like and dislike about the sequel?

[@henrik2518]

First step to improve any script is to fire Alex Kurtzman.

[@tjbarke6086]

Seriously. How does that hack keep getting work?

[@mkvenner2]

The next step is to stop casting Tom cruise.

[@Yora21]

Being good at your job is not a requirement for a hollywood career.

[@Phelan666]

@@tjbarke6086 J

[@MultiMal3]

...so anyway we gave him a Star Trek. Well, actually we gave him *all* of the Star Treks.

[@brianbommarito3376]

I’d have to agree with Russell Crowe as Jekyll and Hyde. They should’ve done a film about “them” first, “they” were clearly ready while few of the others were.

[@mileshill7196]

>Laughs at Tom Cruise being only 5’7” >remember I’m only 5’2” Oh.

[@omarqasirov8754]

Good for you for laughing. I just get annoyed.

[@mileshill7196]

Omar Qasirov I stopped letting it bother me a long time ago. The fact of the matter is that my height has never caused me any real problems aside from a work related incident in which several gallons of jet fuel rained upon my head.

[@Ugly_German_Truths]

It's not his height or lack thereof that makes Tom Cruise ridiculous... it's his serious belief that being an OT3+ in Scientology makes him a real life superman.

[@bencebotye3904]

I am 5.5 so can feel you man! :(

[@Frosted_Moontips]

"Hill" is a pretty interesting last name for a short dood X3

[@bennbastard5082]

The shape of water was actually gonna be in the Dark Universe! Del Toro pitched the idea to them when they asked him for a Black lagoon movie. they didnt like the sympathetic monster angle and dropped it. Del Toro made the movie anyway.

[@k33k32]

i really enjoyed The Shape of Water. The colors and sets were super and I love the monster.

[@nifralo2752]

@@k33k32 colours ? There was one colour and it was green

[@k33k32]

@@nifralo2752 I expressed myself poorly. I was referring the colors in the whole movie, monster, costumes, sets.

[@levongevorgyan6789]

Well, it's not really faitful to the original movie to make the monster sympathetic. The humans aren't bothering it. The conflict initiates when it rises out of the water and kills two people camping by the lakeside. It's either a murderer that the humans defend themselves against, or a savage animal that they defend themselves against.

[@Nofixdahdress]

@@nifralo2752 But it was a very pretty green.

[@AnthonyBurrito1313]

I have seen the Mummy with Rachel Weiss and Fraser 90000 times and it's still awesome every time

[@nhmooytis7058]

Tony Wilson AND ARNOLD VOSLOO!

[@SaladDressing69]

Rachel Weisz forever fake archaeology waifu.

[@nhmooytis7058]

Salad Dressing oh I thought all actors were actually who they play, F off moron.

[@SaladDressing69]

@@nhmooytis7058 Speak up buttercup; or better yet. If you want to talk shit but have a sub-90 IQ and nothing but chicken videos, maybe abstain from calling people morons when you can be shit on intellectually by anyone with a 10th grade education and a partial ability to not be stopped by reading sheer fucking stupidity--this is essentially what you have delivered. Thanks, you utter ray of sunshine and synaptic function.

[@nhmooytis7058]

Salad Dressing = paid flunky with empty profile, sod off.

[@letmemakeafuckingque]

"Why are Nazis more fun than ISIS when they're both genocidal fascists?" is actually a pretty interesting question. Is it just the too soon element?

[@SkoomaGodDovahkiin666]

Nazi's are an actual challenge to fight by comparison seems to be it.

[@occam7382]

ISIS aren't fascists, though. The Ba'ath regime of Bashar al-Assad is fascist. ISIS are a bunch of religious fundamnetalists who think that all their problems will be solved if they revert their society back to the late Iron Age.

[@angelikaskoroszyn8495]

This and the fact that nazis had many quirky beliefs. Like ancient civilizations, magic, paganism, occultism and who knows. If og nazis lived today they would definitely believe in aliens For all we know ISIS is boring af. The same level of bigotry without the fun elements

[@TikoVerhelst]

​@@angelikaskoroszyn8495 Yeah and the Nazi's have style. (There's a great video on KZbin called; Why Were The Nazis So Stylish? about it.) ISIS doesn't have any style. They're evil. But not cartoonishly evil. The Nazi are cartoonishly evil (they're evil, but you love watching them be evil because they do it with so much theatrics) which is what makes them so fun as film villains.

[@resentfulshrimp8044]

I think it's just the too soon thing. Hilter's Nazi's are mostly gone. Obviously neo nazis who follow in their footsteps still very much exist and are very bad but they don't have the power they used to in most cases (hopefully it stays that way). ISIS still has a lot of power. Neo Nazis are evil but to my knowledge they've never come into stuff like towns and gotten their way like Hilters Nazis did. To my knowledge they dont have the manpower (if there are exceptions do let me know). ISIS has however. The people they've harmed are not that old and many ISIS survivors still live in fear.

[@stephaniedresden1814]

Didnt see this movie, don't want to see it, but this video was awesome

[@justin-md4xm]

Same

[@ChrisCaramia]

I have a hankering to watch this film "ALIEN, BABY!".

[@mr.c1913]

8:31 Fun fact, Tom Cruise is actually just shy of two years older than Russel Crowe.

[@Redem10]

Here my version of the mummy: Tom Cruise start of as the apparent protagonist, but the more we learn about him, the guy like pattern itself on some adventurer, but really he's just some guys who steal archeological artefact and sells on the black market. -Russell Crowe's organisation assume that Sophia is the bad guy because "Well we red the ancient texts and they tell us she's the bad guy", but actually she's the good guy who took the blame her dad bringing Set into the world and having him possess his son and now she want to kill Tom Cruise because he's slowly getting more and more possess by Set

[@weirddude1192]

Totally interesting plotwist

[@occam7382]

Now THAT is a movie I would pay to see.

[@MrShoebox21]

Anubis was A god of death. Egyptians had lots of 'em. Set wasn't one of 'em, though.

[@SaladDressing69]

Dear fucking gods, Anpu literally is credited with branding Set for disrespecting the burial process of Osiris to which earned the leopard its spots and shows the disrespect of the desert and of chaos for the flesh.

[@terrorcop101]

Not directly, anyway. Considering Set was a god of the desert, storms (I think), snakes, and chaos, you could argue that he was a bringer of death, aka a god who brought death, aka a death god. Just a little nuance to play around with.

[@SaladDressing69]

@@terrorcop101 Ah, was more getting to how the desert and chaos naturally degrade the flesh and therefore play against the ability to preserve it after death, lest the practices of Anpu be put into place.

[@Cythil]

I think is clear that is more modern views of death that comes in to play here. Anubis is not an evil god just like Hades is not evil. Death in itself is not evil for these cultures but a part of life. And just a step in one journey though existence. Set is associated with a lot of things that brings death however. But also things that just bring pain and suffering. And that is what make Set more of bad guy. (Not even going in to the conflict with Horus). Of course a lot of these gods were often complex. Loki for example is sometimes a villain but something helping the good guys in the story. Depending on how it benefits him. And he is not a god of death but is very capable of causing death. (Which of course is something the other gods are capable of to, even the "good" one). Set is also a complex god that is not always a villain. But have a role to fulfilling the Egyptian Parthenon. It is Set that helps Ra fight off Apep (aka Apophis), the chaos serpent. And so being vital for dawn to rise again and the world not plunge in to eternal darkness. Modern view tend to be very binary and so all gods of these pantheons tend to be either be part of the good guys or bad guys with simple motivations and simple themes we recognize from our own perspective. So Death is bad and any good that is bad is either associated with death, or you turn a god of death in to a bad god. Losing complex nature phenomena that both these goes are associated with and what they stand for.

[@terrorcop101]

@Cliven Longsight Yeah, stable societies, no matter the era or societal policies, don't really like foreigners. Being a god away from the Nile, though, basically meant the desert to all of Egypt other than the Nile Delta/Mediterranean coast. So yeah, outer extremes that are quite dangerous and deadly.

[@JB-hl1qx]

🤣🤣🤣🤣lmao. When you said "it was #$@%! Anubis "! That was great ! Bravo my friend. Couldn't agree more.

[@TheEnoEtile]

There's something super shitty about giving a job that could/shoild go to Brendan Frasier (who's been having a hard run of luck professionally) and giving it to Tom "Modern Slaver" Cruise who sleeps on a different pile of money every night. And then ruining the franchise and making it boring and shitty and revolve around a pretentious, aging, controlling action star.

[@k33k32]

I agree! I'd much rather see Brendan Frasier act than Cruise - he's so boring.

[@danielhaynes2373]

Excellent review. This movie.... *sigh* SMH. Anyway, I spent about 7 months in Mosul (2003-04, OIF) and it's a very modernized city, although there are such areas, nearby, that resemble the first location scene. As far as the primitive dress... There are people known as "Bedouins" that still dress that way, but I only recall seeing them in the deep south of Iraq, in the An Najaf area, not up north in the Mosul/Ninavah Province region. Not saying that there aren't any in that area, but I don't recall seeing any.

[@milesdavidson6920]

I think one reason why national treasure worked and mummy 2017 didn't was that national treasure wasn't trying to just be an adventure movie. It felt more like a modern spy movie like mission impossible to me. The modern technology and setting worked a lot better.

[@auntsteve9148]

I remember basically rooting for the mummy the whole time when I saw this movie Also how good would it be if Tom Cruise's character had been played by Tom Hardy instead?

[@ZemplinTemplar]

I think Hardy would demand a better script first.

[@auntsteve9148]

@@ZemplinTemplar i would not be against that lol

[@rjbennett3418]

No moobs!!!

[@ahmetsahin263]

​@@ZemplinTemplar Script is as it is because of Tom Cruz ,Hardy would just play his role from get go 😂 and we would have get (prob)good movie

[@Ugly_German_Truths]

A rick OConnell Adventure movie set in the twenty first century could be fun... You mean like what they did in "National Treasure"? Also "Creature from the black lagoon"... sure, as if Ape Sapien from Hellboy didn't cover all the audience needs for THAT.

[@photopawn37]

9:24 Oh I love Evie. She got the Egyptian god of death right.

[@Pyre]

Unrelated to the movie itself really, but I'm so very glad to find that other people liked the Van Helsing film too. It's another one that suffered primarily from 'setting up for a sequel that never happened' but until the Netflix series it was also the absolute closest we'd gotten to a Castlevania movie. And it *would* make for a hell of a setting to explore other monsters too, even if most of Universal's classics were in that one.

[@pyromania1018]

I thought it was decent. I like that it stuck closer to the book's version of Frankenstein's Monster by portraying it as intelligent and well-spoken.

[@LordVader1094]

I agree. Van Helsing was a great movie, even if some of the CGI doesn't hold up well today it's a great action adventure film in all other aspects.

[@fran3ro]

How to fix "The Mummy" (2017): - Make it dark (it's the dark universe), more horror, less humor, equal action - The mummy (Imhotep) is awoken in modern day by archeologist "Sofia Boutella" and his crew (wich include male "Chad" protagonist). - Imhotep kill almost all of the crew (as part of the curse), except two or three (Chad and Sofia plus funnyguy) who are rescued by Medjai/Prodigium (this introduce them but just as SHIELD was introduced in Iron Man, not to deep). - Sofia is the descendant/reincarnation of Anck-su-namun and Imhotep wants to sacrifice her to bring back her lost love (original 1932 plot). Also, that's why she knew of Imhotep tomb, because Anck-su-namun's soul? was "telling" her where to find him. - Imhotep captures Sofia and proceeds with the ritual, some mumbo jumbo betwen Anck-su-namun's mummy and Sofia takes place but Chad interrupts. - Chad fight with Imhotep while Sofia fight Anck-su-namun for the control of her body. Sofia wins and fakes love for Imhotep or something betraying him and helping Chad kill Imhotep (by reading the book of the dead), but Chad also dies (Imhotep is no fool and in the end realized Sofia was not Anck-su-namun). - Chad is glad Sofia is safe and pass away... but what's this? the resurrection is partially succesful anyway and Anck-su-namun manifest as part of Sofia. Sofia/Anck-su-namun pass to be part of the Dark Universe (instead of Tom Cruise/"Set") EDIT: somewhere Imhotep kills funnyguy to make it clear it's dangerous (almost forgot)

[@Ugly_German_Truths]

So the Fraser Mummy without a good comedic hero fronting it and a tiny twist at the end... gotcha.

[@fran3ro]

@@Ugly_German_Truths I was thinking more like a mix between the Karlof and the Cruise ones, but yeah, I can see some Fraser one in there, why not?

[@rodrigoarturobretonrosario2659]

Ugly German Truths sounds awesome!

[@Ugly_German_Truths]

@@fran3ro I was more saying that the plot is very close to the funny mummy but sounds too grim to have a similar appeal... The comedy element IMHO was the best about that movie and you suggest to leave it out...

[@fran3ro]

​@@Ugly_German_Truths I know, and in part it's true. What happens is that Fraser's mummy's plot (don't know if the grammar is wright here, english is not my native language)... again, Fraser's mummy's plot is too close to Karlof's mummy's plot. Wich make Fraser's one an amazing remake having almost the same premise but giving it's own delicious flavor. That's why I said I base my take more in a mix of Karlof's plot with Cruise's theme (darkness and stuff)... and some of the plot too. The things I took from Fraser's that I like is the "Imhotep kills the crew because the curse" wich is one of my favorite things in that movie and the Medjai because it's a better name than Prodigium and it's more related to Egypt, but made it in a way like if they were a branch or the starting point of Prodigium. Anyway, enough rant. I hope I explained myself :) PS: it's funny how we refer to the films with the lead actors name instead of the directors.

[@r.h.5217]

Being ancient Egyptian history fan. I feel your pain and frustration when they fuck up the titles and who was who in Egyptian mythology.

[@streampunksheep]

thank god my man Georg Rockall-Schmidt get to be lumpd with the rest of youtube canon

[@THEDonnyB]

The ONLY problem with The Mummy (1999) is that the CGI is JUST NOW showing it's age in certain spots.

[@faeembrugh]

The whole concept of mummies coming back to life and mucking about in the present was dreamed up by Arthur Conan Doyle, the author of Sherlock Holmes.

[@helenaconstantine]

I confess I haven't seen the film but even based on this video, I don't see any portrayal of Ancient Egyptian religion and magic that I can recognize from having read the original source material in that field. The film doesn't even seem to get basic history right. I have it paused now at 3:24 with characters evidently mean to be in Pharonic Egypt viewing the pyramids from a distance. They have clearly been stripped of their limestone facing (as they are today) although this was only done after the Muslim conquest a thousand or possibly several thousand years later than the scene which shows them. I can't see the point of watching such a thing.

[@ZemplinTemplar]

Yeah, the missing limestone facades are very anachronistic.

[@Tardisntimbits]

When I saw the commercials for this movie, I wanted it to be good SO BAD. The original Boris Karloff Mummy was my favourite Universal Monster movie (my favourite by sentiment, not "the best", calm down, folks). The Mummy herself looked cool as hell, but the more I heard about it, the more trepidation I felt sinking in, and by the time I started hearing reviews, I didn't have the heart to even go see it. I still haven't watched it, I can't bring myself to. That being said, I was up enough on the behind the scenes garbage by the time I watched this that I can agree wholeheartedly with you. I really am glad I found this channel. :D

[@DeepEye1994]

I almost cried when you praised the 2010 The Wolfman film. Yes, the theatrical cut "came and went", but the extended edition which is pretty much ALL DVDs, is better and adds more more substance to the characters. I like it because it felt like a '90s horror/monster film like Coppola's Dracula or Tim Burton's Sleepy Hollow. Cool costumes and atmosphere, music, performances and sweet ass R-rated bloody violence. Underrated. (EDIT) I fuckin' love you for using that Real Tuesday Weld song, brings me such sweet memories.

[@BillEcoff]

As long you keep positively comparing stuff to the 1999 Mummy, you have all my likes and subs

[@connarcomstock161]

FUN FACT! RUSSEL CROWE IS *YOUNGER* THAN TOM CRUISE! There, now that's something you know!

[@1846tt]

Damn, that subconscious Tom Cruise filter I had professionally installed is paying dividends. I had no idea this existed. Can't wait to forget!

[@sushanalone]

9:33, i love Sofia's delayed but compelled reaction to the blonde woman as she labels herself and Sofia as a Badass women (badassery by association), when Sofia is the one doing the badass thing in the movie. And yes Sofia Boutella is a gymnast and an excellent street dancer. kzbin.info/www/bejne/l3KsZqSspduqiZo

[@johnmcclure40]

Everyone wants to be the next MCU, without actually making the necessary movies. If you watch, pretty much every single introduction movie-- hell almost every movie up to Infinity War (which I haven't seen yet, so maybe that too) can be watched without actually knowing anything about the MCU at large. Sure, a larger knowledge makes them more enjoyable, but it's not vital.

[@krankarvolund7771]

Yeah, producers hear "Cinematic universe" and just don"t understand that the public don't really care, they just want good (or at least passable) movies, and a big reunion every 5 years ^^' I made my mother watch Black Panther when it came out, she know nothing about MCU (apart from it's superhero movies, so bad movies XD), and she appreciated the movie, even without having seen any of the other movies ^^

[@patron8597]

I think keeping the villain around as *The Mummy* instead of killing her off at the end would already greatly improve the movie.

[@thewoollyviking5928]

honestly, I remember your comment about fixing Tomb of the Dragon Emperor and how that movie sorely lacked a major component of the last Mummy movies... and it was how Egypt itself was sort of a character in and of itself. It's like putting Batman in the middle of Iowa, the character doesn't work otherwise without Gotham City. I would absolutely love some sort of horror-adventure movie around a reinvention of the "Egyptian City of the Dead". Again, going off the idea of the title monsters being the most compelling characters, have the Mummy be a past Medjay (or Pharaoh if ya want to do something more obvious) whose tomb had been recently robbed, maybe their lover's own mummy had been desecrated, idk, something to act as an emotional hook to connect with the audience. Assuming that all works you have a lot of room for good drama, horror, and sense of wonder and adventure.

[@SplotPublishing]

Never say "just a sergeant." There are no "justas" in the US Army. Sergeants, btw, can be the oldest person in the unit. I know this, because *I* was an NCO, and the oldest person in my rather large unit. If he was a LT, *that* would be ridiculous. LTs are not old. They can't be. But sergeants can be any age. And a guy who was constantly fucking up and acting without thinking might get reduced once or twice, or simply not get promoted. They should have merely mentioned the fact.

[@ArninoStorm]

Anubis was a psychopomp, he helped the souls travel, but Osiris was the ruler of the Underworld.

[@wyatt1339]

Anytime I hear Troy now, I hear LindyBeige yelling FIRE ARROWS!!!

[@jeffjefferson2743]

Im filled with rage seeing 5’7 described as abysmally short, how dare you sir

[@michaelmacleod6517]

Another aspect that should have been explored: living with the curse. If the Mummy didnt flop so bad there was definite potential to have a redemption story for Nick in the next segment. Amunet was also the wrong choice, it was a wasted opportunity to bring back Princess Ananka and possily Kharis as well, while tying into the '99 and 2001 movies. And yes...there should have been an egyptologtist on set. (pardon the pun)

[@solomieamanuel3813]

Idris Elba would work better here instead of Tom Cruise.

[@ampersandman757]

still a little too old, but also yes

[@LordVader1094]

He definitely has more personality.

[@sebastianemond5313]

Actually, yeah, that would be a good cast change. But I guess having him in the Mummy would be too familiar after Stephen King's The Dark Tower movie.

[@theshamelesskid2950]

That statement works with most movies

[@gehtdichnixan3200]

@@sebastianemond5313 maybe just maybe it would have been a god idear to let idris alba play the mumy and ANYBODY else the dark tower ... the gunslinger was portrayed as clint eastwood spagetti western guy in every novel... not as idris alba

[@uvl.g5611]

Now that was a spot on pin point accurate criticism. I enjoyed this exquisite criticism and corrective suggestions, the analysis of the story telling, the scene's purposes, & the massive waste of the characters interactions/motivations...seriously you nailed all the bases.

[@STRANDENGER42]

Invisible Man knocked it out of the park. I’d let them run the Dark Universe

[@columbiayore2522]

Never knew reviewbrah was a communist spy

[@henrycolestage4249]

Whew! I thought for a minute there I thought that "you are on the wrong side of the riiivvveeerrrrrr!" and we were going to have to have some words on the subject. Then I realized this was about the 2017 version. :-0 Keep up the good work!

[@BaronVonQuiply]

Really missed an opportunity to open a Gizza Hutt

[@CSelH]

Van Helsing is super underrated for me. Objectively it's probably not great cinema, but goddamn it's a fun movie. I think people wanted something radically new or different and thus heaped undue criticism onto the film because it was, for lack of a better word, conventional. Taking for the film for what it is, it's just fun. "Eh, it's my thing."

[@productivediscord5624]

The Dark Universe would have had a chance if Ahmanet had been the promised protagonist of furture movies. Not the hero or protagonist of this movie, she would basically remain the villain throughout but have her plan(which can be revealed to have been an attempt at resurrecting a loved one) foiled by the heroic sacrifices of the lead characters in destroying the ruby. What does an uber powerful mummy do now that her big plan for the afterlife is impossible? Wouldn't that have set an interesting tone for a Dark Universe to have the villain become the point of view character after the heroes' deaths? If you think I'm crazy, consider that a shift from Big Bad to hero was done with the original Godzilla movies.

[@LaurasBookBlog]

The funny thing is, Annabelle Wallis is fully capable of warmth - her first big role was Jane Seymour in The Tudors, where she was written basically as a Disney princess with birds twittering around her head. But in everything I've seen her in since, she's an ice queen. Also . . . this movie had Jake Johnson, Sofia Boutella, and Marwan Kenzari (I may or may not have wailed when I saw him at 16:27) who are all extremely charming, charismatic, and AGE-APPROPRIATE actors, and yet you had Tom and Annabelle at the centre, sucking everyone down with them. It's baffling.

[@pauz9776]

Me and Mr. Wolf, soundtracks in video is a whole new layer of yummy goodness. content producers are crazy geniuses!

[@cristianvillanueva8782]

Honestly it would be pretty funny to compare ancient egypt and its grandest then cut to modern Egypt where our protagonist is chillin at pizza hut or something, mabey have native folk in the movie?

[@timthorson52]

Just have the protagonist eating at the actual pizza hut in line of sight to the pyramid, looking out the window scoping out his target.

[@timthorson52]

You could then cut to a shot of the protaganist golfing with the pyramid in the background, without even having to CGI it in.

[@aramhalamech4204]

@@timthorson52 Anubis: Sir, I'm supposed to take you to the underworld. Do you have all your caskets filled with your internal organs? Native: Do you know how expensive surgeries are? Anubis: Two pigs and a sack of grain? Native: Pigs are unclean creatures Anubis:What? Native: And according to my faith I wont go to the underworld. Paradise will wait for me with 72 virgins. Anubis: Ahemmmm.....what the...? Who created your religion Native: Mohammed, the prophet of our one true god Anubis: Who was he? A great king? Native: No. He raided heathen caravans and destroyed the temples of the wrong gods in Mecca Anubis: Your religious figurehead was a bandit? Native: Shut up Anubis. Your subjects worshiped shit eating bugs as creatures of the sun

[@ng_reed]

I feel like the concept of the Dark Universe in and of itself isn't terrible. when i first heard of it, I was actually kinda intrigued.

[@timothyhayes9724]

I need so many more of your "fixing bad movies" videos

[@tamasmarcuis4455]

Tom Cruise has a front tooth right in the middle of his face. Once you notice it you can never stop seeing it.

[@JcBravo8]

HOW DARE YOU DERRIDE DRACULA UNTOLD!! I mean aside from the tacked on studio ending I found it a good mix of horror and adventure :p.

[@HistorysRaven]

"There's a good movie buried in here somewhere..." Starting with getting rid of Tom Cruise.

[@nicklaskowalski]

Love Me and Mr Wolf at the end. Thanks for the discovery!

[@JeffreyDeCristofaro]

Man, when I saw the 2017 MUMMY with my mum, that was such a major disappointment! I already had grave misgivings about seeing it, but I didn't think it would turn out as bad as it did. Yes I loved Sofia Boutella as a new sexy variation on the character, and she had a rich characterization, but for all her efforts, both role and performance were completely wasted in this unholy mess, an Egyptian curse on what could have been a compelling franchise reboot. The Mummy had always been my favorite Universal monster, and not only have I dressed as a mummy more than once for Halloween during my early-to-mid teen years, but my interest in the subject was enough that I wrote a comprehensive paper on ancient mummification - including the bit about the 1922 curse on the excavation of King Tut's tomb that inspired the 1932 film and had a considerable influence on the horror genre - for the first of four Humanities courses, this one set in the ancient world, that I took as a freshman at UNC-Asheville in Fall 2004. Besides, the Mummy was my introduction to a profound interest in Ancient Egypt, which went way beyond the Old Testament references to rival the history, culture and mythology of the ancient Greek and Roman worlds and Edo-period Japan as one of my top favorite historical subjects. To heap insult upon injury, this film also clearly ripped off a personal favorite film of mine that wasn't even referenced in the concluding montage: 1985's LIFEFORCE, which for all its faults had a WAY better story, leading and supporting characters played by an exceptional cast, awesome thematic fusion of old and new sci-fi and horror, way better destruction of London with awesome pre-CGI practical effects, memorable music score, way more eroticism and gory violence, and a truly visionary genre filmmaker, Tobe Hooper of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE fame, at the helm! That film flopped when it came out and some parts of it seem rushed, incomplete and unintentionally hilarious, but it was way ahead of its time, didn't need a big Hollywood name with a fat ego as an audience hook, has largely aged better than I expected it to, was intriguingly multi-layered in fitting the context of the times, and succeeded more often than not as a stand-alone film without even having to insert a hook for a sequel for a franchise at a time when horror and sci-fi franchises were all the rage! This MUMMY is its evil counterpart: sloppy, clearly commercial and non-visionary, smug avaricious Hollywood product at its worst that is so botched, easily dated and bound to fade into obscurity, save for hardcore genre fans like me who would rather pretend it didn't exist at all. That's a wrap!

[@z_dog7739]

6:55 the Applachian fiddle cover is just so suiting

[@krankarvolund7771]

"The tomb appears to have been built during the Second Crusade, wich means it is filled with bodies of knights who invaded Egypt" Errr... what?! If you found a tomb in England, built during the Second Crusade, the men buried here would have been the one who did not go to Crusade XD The crusaders were buried in holy land, because it's hard and disgusting to transport dead bodies on a long distance. And besides, it's way more classy to be buried in the Holy Land, near the Christ, rather than in England XD

[@clownypoundy6834]

Love this video can’t wait for more

[@dutcher268]

Didn't know you were a fan of the real Tuesday weld. It was a pleasant suprise hearing it in the video.

[@julian7247]

that blink and you miss it Tom Cruise short joke ... pure bloody gold

[@cyu9880]

I love how you're straight forward

[@AtunSheiFilms]

Thank you!

[@Jotari]

"Do the British police make a habit of letting hammered Americans onto their crime scenes." Unfortunately, yes. They keep saying they're from Torchwood or something.

[@andresacosta4832]

Amazing Spider-Man was good, actually *hisses and slithers down a drainpipe*

[@isaacj.elliott2137]

I always notice your nods to RLM. And I love you for that

[@TikoVerhelst]

9:45 Evi is the librarian I want to be when I grow up. This woman is what I fear I'll become when I grow up. As a University History student.

[@DaveMeuleman]

Thanks for introducing me to The Real Tuesday Weld!

[@JohnSmith-dz2dc]

Hear me out: Jake Johnson should have been the main protagonist

[@james13sylar]

Here is an idea nobody will care for: Frankenstein, but it set in the future. A scientist finds out their partner have a deathly condition not even future medicine can cure, it is too rare and not enough investigation has been made. Their partner has been placed in comma to try to treat them, but things got worse and it is likely they won't wake up anymore. In an attempt to have something to remember them, the scientist scans their mind into a computer. They just wanted to have their brain pattern as a memento, like that man who tatooed the waves of the laugh of his baby after they died. But the scientist finds out that the brain pattern has somehow achieved sentience and self awareness, and thinks of herself as their partner, though they describe being scared of not being able to perceive anything but the words input in the device. The scientist tries to give them senses, connecting video and audio input, something to emulate the touch, and even starts to give them mobility. The original partner could die or be put in cryogenic hibernation at this point, depending if they want them to come back or not later on. This makes the scientist focus more and more on his "job", as he presents what he is doing as an advance in robotics and artificial intelligence, but he is using that as an excuse, maybe even without realizing, to build a mechanical clone of her partner. From here, the story could go the original route, one the body is completed and "they are alive!" , the scientist becomes disgusted by their own creation, not being perfect as they imagined. Maybe in the time it took them to develop their partner's body, the artificial mind became an individual on their own, so even if they look the same, have the same memories and such, they are two different people. The original partner could be defrosted and cured if they didn't died, and to make it a bit different, they and their mechanical clone could get along pretty well, but the scientist would be too obsessed and crazy at this point that he wouldn't act rationally, starting to think the original is also a robot, and everyone else is a robot or something like that. There could also be a group of people who would blame the robot for a horrible crime, thinking they are cold-harded and not-feeling machine, to emulate the mob that persecutes Frankenstein. But this is the future, so things do solve differently, the criminal could be the scientist themself, or some other human who was born with a different mindset. I'm not sure what the ending or the morale of the story would be, but that's a rough idea. If they want to set the "dark universe" they could use other monsters appearing thanks to the misuse of advance science, like, maybe the Vampire was a rich dude who wanted to be immortal, developing a virus that helps him stay younger, but he needs blood from others to maintain the process.

[@dragoninthewest1]

I think a cool idea would be to consider Fraser's The Mummy movies, The Wolfman and Dracula part of the same universe.

[@stainshield]

The Problem was that Universal should have made Dracula Untold THE 1st film for The Dark Universe and yes it had flaws like Luke Evans said, but it was modest and it should have been Rated R Horror with violence on par with Game Of Thrones. The reason why The Mummy did bad was because Tom Cruise was THE Problem and he changed the script from horror to action as well as made it all about him when it should have been about THE Real Star Sofia Boutella. I am not surprised that Tom Cruise did that, because R. Lee Ermey even said that Tom Cruise wrecked Stanley Kubrick's last film Eyes Wide Shut with his ego. Universal should have gone for either Jason Ritter, Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Paulo Costanzo, Diego Luna, Matthew Lawrence, Zachary Quinto, Rider Strong, Justin Long, Texas Battle, Mehcad Brooks, Scott Mescudi, Steven Yeun, Mick Cain, Eric Jungmann, Cam Gigandet, Donald Glover, Wilmer Valderrama, or Darris Love as Nick Morton. Because one of those 20 would of had great chemsitry with Annabelle Wallis being how they are close to age with her and chemistry was why Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz did so well together, plus if they had gotten one of those 20 you wouldn't have heard bring back Brendan Fraser as much as you did. Because think about this, did you hear people tell Columbia and Disney to bring back either Andrew Garfield or Tobey Maguire back when Tom Holland was cast for the role of Spider-Man in Captain America Civil War for The MCU, not that much and why. Because Tom Holland isn't pushing 60 nor does he come with baggage like Tom Cruise does.

[@D.M.S.]

Wasn't Osiris the god of Death and Anubis only the judge who weight the heart of the deceased against a feather and decided if the deceased could enter the afterlife? Love the video and the ending btw

[@DreamMorpheus42]

You forget about "An American Werewolf in London"? I say we dig up Frank Darabont's Frankenstein script that was butchered in the 90s and we let him actually direct it.

[@nicholassudov2299]

Wow! Some funny music at the end. Thanks.

[@DesolatedChild018]

“Talk to the judge” - Gets me every time

[@croesuslydias6488]

15:12 bruh this scene from Indiana Jones always makes me want to hug my dad

[@DavidRybka]

I would have said Osiris is the god of the dead but technically Anubis is "Thanatos" and Osiris is "Hades: I think after looking it up.

[@JakeSmith-mq5dc]

I would love to see you fixing Dracula Untold like you did with the Dragon Emperor.

[@zionleach3001]

I agree. Maybe for a wolfman movie they could have a werewolf outbreak. The Wolfman gets infected and uncontrollably infects other people and the human characters have to stop him? Also glad to see you like Van Helsing too.

[@midcadet]

In slight defense of the use of a conventional map in the modern day, in certain terrains GPS's are not able to get a signal. The US Army still uses/issues printed maps for this exact reason, at times. The terrain they are in might have this issue, but admittedly, it is unlikely.

[@TheSlasherJunkie]

The fact that the gap between the first and latest mummy reboot is old enough to buy cigarettes bothers me to no end.

[@georgesimmons2517]

0:14 Heyyyy my boy Ralph in there too!

[@williamoldaker5348]

What song started the end sequence?

[@Mokwenamokgoba]

Whoever felt sad towards the poor mummy, she wanted to love and feel love as it should have, so he raced before her death and imprisonment

[@joebob3719]

Tone down the werewolf sex scenes? You mean turn them UP

[@Milkex]

I did NOT expect to hear Me and Mr Wolf. what a banger

[@Dohsoda]

This is in not a good movie, but I like the idea of the Universal monsters returning to the big screen. However, this was not how to do it. However, this failed Dark Universe entry proves that a fourth Mummy movie with Brendan Fraser now has even more interest.

[@MrGksarathy]

I used to love The Mummy (1999). Brendan Fraser was a hoot, and Rachel Weiss and others were pretty good.

[@509Gman]

“Used to”? I watched it again last night, the film holds up very well.

[@coryfice1881]

The reason why the script is like that is cause Cruise took over.

[@Valkeryu]

Cool video! One thing though: 21:10 The Amazing Spiderman was a Sony movie. Marvel recasted the character because they didn't wan't to have Sony's cinematic Universe and their own merged. Tbh Sony was probably going to do it themselves anyways at some point.

[@clemencemartin9720]

That definitly deserve way more likes

[@lordtrigon1733]

Hammer Studios are back and still have the best Mummy movie to date, should’ve given the project to them. (Not to mention classic horror geeks like myself would get the ultimate dream: Universal/Hammer teaming up!)

[@paulware4701]

"Produced by Alex Kurtzman." The opening preamble to the book of the doomed.

[@lemursteaks]

An AI Frankenstein would be cool, with a similar premise, like the AI feeling he deserved his sire's love