Florida Names Penis As Official State Genital

[@PunishedFelix]

Finally Onion is reporting on phallocracy

[@gregbors8364]

That’s just a phallacy

[@nickshaw6085]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@mammawlee]

😀😁😅

[@Andy_Babb]

Freaking nailed it 😂

[@caramel7149]

I'm sorry to say I can only fav this post once.

[@audetnicolas]

Florida kind of looks like one anyway

[@highviewbarbell]

sweden and finland have teamed up to take down Florida as the most p3nis-y land-mass

[@ldo1308]

*Floriduh

[@Zachariahnavarro15]

Florida is Americas Dick 🍆💪🏼

[@mmo5366]

@@ldo1308Flacciduh?

[@mariahroberson6283]

Real.

[@falsemcnuggethope]

The title was golden, but the video itself makes me miss old Onion.

[@michaelcorcoran8768]

Yeah the old videos had a huge network studio production quality. This is just a green screen

[@derekw104]

Wait, what happened?​@My_pfp_beats_all_dog_breeds.

[@OKOK-mm3es]

​@My_pfp_beats_all_dog_breeds.I do not. What is it?

[@maybe6536]

@My_pfp_beats_all_dog_breeds. Yeah same here I always woundered why.

[@teeanahera8949]

@My_pfp_beats_all_dog_breeds.I don’t know why either! Please elucidate.

[@BeanFan999]

Finally the gonads are getting the recognition they deserve

[@frauwolftherehorse]

When I was Immature in High School, I Had the word gonads in my email address .

[@221b-Maker-Street]

I'm puzzled why she said that as gonads are not penises! Even women have gonads... 🤔🩺

[@pavarottiaardvark3431]

@@221b-Maker-Street Because Florida Republican know almost NOTHING about actual reproductive science

[@TreasureTrain]

"native tribes of the area" ah yes the bucs fans, dolphins fans, and bath salt eaters. All three regions

[@bdoglance]

You forgot our most famous region, the luffa fans. The region only really includes 'The Villages' , but between with the black market Viagra , huge swingers party's, and the rampant STDs; id say that if there was a place to make the Penis their official seal, it would be them XDD

[@threeducksinatrenchcoat]

The Avatar, master of all three tribes-

[@gamerpedia1535]

So happy for Florida!

[@HoLeeFoc]

Always knew Fla was full of them with Desatan being the biggest one of all.

[@TihetrisWeathersby]

We joke but I wouldn't put it past Florida to do this

[@gblikestosew]

As a Florida resident, I was greatly concerned this was real news for a second.

[@dashiellgillingham4579]

You merely tasted the onion.

[@kmuralikrishna1998]

Tell the same after 10 years

[@20alphabet]

Another rare Biden voter, I see.

[@bettafish541]

it's a little disappointing that it was fake

[@gblikestosew]

@@20alphabet ah yes, because being a subscriber of the onion means you know who I voted for 😂

[@the.mr.schrader]

The Fact That I Could Imagine Florida Pulling This Crap 😂

[@dudeonbike800]

You mean "pulling out." That is their only form of birth control, after all.

[@the.mr.schrader]

@@dudeonbike800 💀 True

[@grizzlycharizard0017]

It's America, anything can happen at this point.

[@Psilomuscimol]

Anyone can imagine anything

[@Psilomuscimol]

Unless it was something they couldn't come up with based on what already exists

[@nedludd7622]

The mice story has shades of an Onion classic where researchers taught the gorilla Quigly that it was going die.

[@haidenlotze7530]

That and the “New Study Finds Multiple Stab Wounds Lethal to Monkeys” “The researchers hope to see i future studies if it holds true for baby monkeys and pregnant monkeys”

[@toyotaprius79]

Whattabout the MOUTH FEEL

[@the_aberration7398]

Is that... a ContraPoints reference?

[@benjaminaswad6486]

The Onion doesn't have the flair it once did. With the right editing and spokeperson, this vid would have been hilarious.

[@Machtimus]

It's about time

[@-JA-]

America's wang finally embraces its role.👏

[@veshialles]

the penis will be granted protected status you say, and yet this is the same state that wants to oppress women who have them? curious. 🤔🤔🤔

[@tripvic7629]

Florida "probably"

[@caleblagrange7164]

I just realized I'm old because I remember when the onion was funny

[@caramel7149]

I'm very disappointed, it should have been Crocodile wiener. What will I tell my estranged family? :(

[@garbhanmyles]

Pretty ballsy move. Congratulations 🎉

[@Lonesurvivor256]

Don’t be a dick

[@Krystaline_music]

The fact I had to double check the source because Florida would totally do this

[@ernestbidon5027]

At least it would have been an improvment over the cloaca.

[@illegalamishmen]

Florida is americas wang, Homer Simpson said it 30 years ago.

[@sidimightbe]

It was 20 years ago, it was on the Simpsons movie which came out in 2004 along with SpongeBob sguarepants movie

[@illegalamishmen]

@@sidimightbe fair enough, nearly 24 yrs to be exact, and it was an episode, not the movie.

[@illegalamishmen]

@@sidimightbe April 1999.

[@Imwhisper76ontwitch]

Onion predicting the future again

[@jonathanraithel1025]

That goes will with the design of the Florida Statehouse - A tall tower flanked by the two domes of the legislative chambers. Edward Durrell Stone did a great job designing a building that accurately represents the state.

[@peter5.056]

It's about time Gov Desantis got the status he deserves.

[@williamtomkiel8215]

desantis with that ambivalent / why not look on his face

[@ramseylandry1876]

This is low-hanging fruit.

[@pacotaco1246]

More like low-hanging dong

[@DonnyThaDealer]

That's because it's hot, Alaska's fruit be real high. But not California high.

[@FloridaManConstruction]

Hard decision but after a lengthy review, they came to the right decision. 👍🏼🌴🐈🐈🐈🌴🏴‍☠️

[@mc1993]

Florida leans right.

[@Gw4ysen]

This makes sense

[@olllasalle8755]

So it sounds like The Onion is back... and not funny. What's this liberal sh*t.

[@joshjohnson3938]

State Bird was a missed opportunity

[@gregbors8364]

They also named Billy Joel as the official state pianist

[@bobloblaw9791]

Heyohhh ☠️

[@gregbors8364]

@@bobloblaw9791Thank you! I’ll be here all week

[@diegomontoya796]

"Metric system thriving in America's inner cities". Past onion headline.

[@frauwolftherehorse]

No way 😂 No way 🤣 😆

[@DavidLS1]

Why not? After all, our governor is a...

[@dentalcare1]

...good man.

[@jock-of-ages73]

That thumbnail is hilarious!

[@BixDugan-tf3lx]

previously the cloaca

[@pibbypub7345]

How do they even come up with this shit

[@legitusername-zl7to]

Im a floridan and the juice from them are delicious 🤤

[@20alphabet]

I'm old. I remember when the Onion was funny.

[@TheMintyMelon]

I’m UNSUBBING …This is crap…Bring back the REAL ONION ‘cos this one STINKS..!

[@ObeseusVsPhallacy]

Ive been pushing for this since the late 90s im so happy the state of Florida finally recognizes what we knew all along

[@frauwolftherehorse]

00:14 green underwear clip 😮 Watch out Miss, its gonna collide with you.

[@carbonsinatrenchcoat]

This is ridiculous. They should've chosen the scungle.

[@ernestbidon5027]

OMG. So many years on the internet, and I didn't learn to never google this kind of stuff.

[@jakass]

So they just let the mice use reddit? Those scientists are wicked smart they is

[@TrippyShasta]

Hooray

[@frauwolftherehorse]

Woo hoo

[@richardthiele8363]

Definitely needed a modified map of Florida to go with this announcement. 😂

[@BS-te3mn]

Should be the "state bird" Lol!

[@scottmcwave9479]

Thinking with their little head again!

[@SkullWaneVideos]

All men think with their penises, because they can think and have penises at the same time.

[@Pranav_AntonyPrakash]

Well....Florida looks like one 🤷

[@italktoanimalsliketheyrehuman]

So the official state emoji could be the eggplant or cucumber.

[@mmo5366]

All hail the mighty phallus, keeper of secrets and destroyer of worlds 🎉

[@Thunder_Dome45]

They must have shown the mice a divorce order with alimony.

[@chowder6148]

Ron banned the term "baba ganoush" unfortunately because it sounded too ethnic

[@honestlyno_]

Man i havent watched your videos in years

[@Dan_Matwij]

I know this is the Onion, but I don't doubt this could have actually been a real story in todays time.

[@modelcitizen394]

If you've ever been to an Offroad park in Florida, this should come as no surprise.

[@calvanoni5443]

Massively Phallic!

[@barrypoontang]

About fucking time.

[@PEACEOUTPAT]

old news

[@raleighcunningham2538]

If Trump wins again will the Onion go in hiding again? Really wish they'd have courage to stick around and make fun of nonsense

[@dontworryaboutit273]

Man I've got a crush on this Onion girl. Anyone know her name? She in any shows or anything? Also, good for Florida!

[@zackpumpkinhead8882]

as a gay man, hallelujah

[@imakethesites3048]

This makes me miss the Onion from 10+ years ago. What happened to the quality of fake journalism?

[@scah_to]

Oh my God this is so sexist I can't believe it. Just what is expect of Ronald DeSantwich.

[@AdamMoore-fq8qn]

Come on feminists. Speak up. We truly want to laugh hysterically at you

[@camazotzz]

"a fine will be leveed for anyone attempting to harm them" is this part of the anti-trans laws Florida is passing?

[@DavidHummell]

My favorite organ. The Hammond B3 is pretty cool, though.

[@YashBeanz]

1:14 literally Thomas Edison

[@FFVison]

Somehow, even without context, that thumbnail still makes way too much sense.

[@mrblakeboy1420]

it’s illegal to harm one there? glad i don’t live in florida

[@Godyeater]

This has better political commentary than actual politics.

[@EvanSaltare]

DeSantis with a very clever way of preventing gender reassignment surgery.

[@sayaksen7545]

You know the vid's fire when youtube gives you a warning before watching it

[@LBoomsky]

the onion has peaked omfg💀

[@ldo1308]

Seems legit

[@coolsolder]

Why was that women that appeared till 0:33 not in the kitchen? We must unleash the mice!

[@thomaswaithe6833]

I wanted to share this with somebody, but then there are 2 other skits attached. :(

[@DJKinney]

The writing is funny but the acting by zoomer troopers is pretty bad.

[@djksfhakhaks]

And here i was goimg to give up on the onion because it wasnt funny anymore.

[@Liebestod0001]

shame on Florida for being the last state to do this, even Louisiana beat them to it.

[@LoonyDoll]

just show the mice a few of those wine pie tiktoks and you're done honestly

[@PerspectiveEngineer]

A+

[@MaxwellDonnelly-yf2mr]

Greetings from Alabama and What the actual fuck?

[@strikethespike816]

Well our capital building does look like one.

[@aysada]

It should do that considering they elected one as governor.

[@aliensondope789]

Finally. I've been advocating this for years.

[@noaneezy23]

I miss the old onion. I thought the title was going to give that but no😢

[@wesfields9322]

Finally the mice are evolving for the better of humanity

[@DesertRascal]

Anyone who voluntarily wants to live in any southern state besides AZ and NM needs a mental diagnosis. Texas, NOPE, Cali, NOPE, LA, NOPE!

[@audetnicolas]

Actually LA is likely to take the cloaca as symbol now that it's available.

[@th1nkcr1tical29]

Got some fresh florida wood every morning 🙄

[@asfd74]

Man, I got to back to bio class. I forgot what a cloaca is!

[@darexinfinity]

Please leave the Tiktok-style videos on KZbin.

[@thenickli]

Cloaca makes sense tho bc Florida has a ton of reptiles

[@BonafideGail]

It looks strangely like its Governor.

[@Palmit_]

if florida is the frank, what of the beans? 🤔

[@strongcamel5355]

I very nearly had a sensible chuckle.

[@solitarymaninblack]

Drake would approve.

[@misterschubert3242]

"Do Not Recommend Channel" Go thumb up another Babylon Bee post. I used to love the Onion. This is weak.

[@PeterPhilep09890]

Onion always bad. How dare they disrespect Ron Desantis? He is the only man willing to fix this country and this is the thanks he gets 😡. Liberals.

[@Nahidwash]

Youve just become a grumpy old man

[@Edwarnator]

So much prefer the older content...

[@MrManMuff]

Don't blame me, I voted for cooter