Increase Your Self-Awareness | Being Well Podcast

Self-awareness is one of the most important skills for a person to have-and also one of the most difficult. Having self-awareness might be the single biggest challenge in the world of personal growth because it is both so essential and so difficult to see ourselves clearly.
In this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick Hanson and I explore what it takes to develop self-awareness and become more self-aware over time. This includes the different forms of awareness that come into play and why maintaining awareness can be such a struggle. We then spend some time considering the heartening notion that the majority of what we have to look forward to when we become more self-aware is the recognition of our own positive aspects, and the natural movement towards health and integration.
Key Topics:
0:00 Introduction
1:45 Rick’s observations of people’s self-awareness when beginning therapy
6:50 Distinguishing internal and external self-awareness
8:30 Different types of internal self-awareness
14:19 Why is it hard to become self-aware?
20:05 Positive discoveries and Forrest’s personal experience
27:45 The natural movement toward health and sanity
33:25 What causes us to lose touch with positive aspects of our nature?
44:35 How can we cultivate more self-awareness over time?
50:05 Questions to ask yourself
57:35 A creative exercise for mapping out parts of yourself
1:00:55 Recap
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Who Am I: I'm Forrest, the co-author of Resilient (amzn.to/3iXLerD) and host of the Being Well Podcast (apple.co/38ufGG0). I'm making videos focused on simplifying psychology, mental health, and personal growth.
You can follow me here:
🎤 apple.co/38ufGG0
🌍 www.forresthanson.com
📸 / f.hanson

[@candaceheidenrich6278]

Good insight from Forrest….”self awareness to make us more free, not more inhibited….”

[@maryannestevenson5993]

Forrest I love your honesty. Your generation has a lot to offer.

[@whitesteele]

Again! A REALLY useful helping discussion. I agree that this will become my ‘fave’. Your summary at the end is brilliantly done and critical to my ability to take the nuggets and PRACTISE! I always feel better after your sessions and I am grateful for the gifts you offer.🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@sharishakti9075]

Yes, this is fabulous and needed information. Thank you both for your realness and willingness to show vulnerability too. You rock!😎😁🙌

[@Eva-xc8oq]

I have just recently found you and your Dad. Thank you so much for speaking in a language that is easy to understand and enables me to understand myself and my world so much better.

[@SK-ww9gq]

Love your podcasts…really well done. The commercials are jarring, however, as I like to listen before I go to sleep…

[@galpalsal]

Totally my experience to be less aware and accepting of the positive aspects of myself. The fear is in acknowledging how excellent I really am. To Quote: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"

[@mayberry8620]

My safe place. I am now grateful as my amnesia brought me back home and I finally had a therapist my Dadcould not manipulate, he was in total shock when she told me to go homeless and get to a domestic violence shelter. I just got pushed past my ability to try and handle my Dad. I am only here because I refuse to leave the dogs behind and am unsure how to fully heal. I have hope though. I was so scared that I was “ my parents creature” as they called me. I choose the universe as my parent as I just want to be allowed to be human and get free of my twisted family that protect the predators and shame the victims. I wanted to win their love for so long and now I understand they don’t even know what love is.

[@rustyshimstock8653]

Whump! These episodes land like a ton of bricks -- in a good way. Thanks!

[@ForrestHanson]

Really appreciate it, thank you!

[@angelawilliamson6765]

Self awareness is key, making it a habit & working on making changes is the hard part but so grateful you have broken it down as always excellent. Insightful and easy to understand. 💗

[@dorishaus400]

My husband and I listened together today!! Thanks so much! We love you & your Dad!

[@ForrestHanson]

Thanks Doris :)

[@brucebonaney6921]

Many thanks for this thoughtful and practical look at Self-Awareness. Best I've ever heard!

[@oanagabriel803]

I'm so glad I found you both. Wonderful and informative content! There's such depth to your presentations and your guests are wonderfully chosen. Thank you!

[@Slimesisterslayyy]

Loved this so much. Thank you 🫶🏽

[@desertSHAMAN616]

I just wanted to say your podcast has been so helpful for me 😉

[@mayberry8620]

I’m trying to ungaslight myself, as I had no idea I was allowed to show my true self without being annihilated for any positive attention, I’m grateful I am not a pedophile or sociopath like both my parents. I realized I was in trouble when I read “through the eyes of the dragon” by Steven King and the movie “Carrie” and how her Mom treated her. I have been to 11 treatment centers with no help, as I have never known safety and was terrified by my parents. They were both covert malignant narcissists . My Mom was aware of social etiquette but had me be the whore due to my Dad’s incest. I’m so glad I have the right to get away from my “family” . My Mom was truly age 2 emotionally and my Dad is just totally psychotic. I found a letter back from my 4th grade teacher where I had obviously asked how to stop being teased by my classmates. She said to “ just be nice and they will be nice back, you need to worry more about your grades as you are way far behind the other kids”. That teacher became my Dad’s best friend and my parents became fully involved in the school. I found a “comic book” my Dad made for my Mom about the year that I was age 4. I was mentioned twice,once was my Dad asking where I was and his sex addict friend answering “ I told her the sidewalk was her bed and convinced her to go to sleep there” and the other time was my Dad telling my Mom to wake me up so I could watch another of his magic tricks . That was it, for my whole fourth year of life. I don’t remember much and honestly don’t want to. 400 people came to my Mom’s funeral. I was alone with her in the hospital when she suffocated to death due to a rib puncturing her rib. My Dad had to go sleep in his bed that night, took the soft blanket I got for her in the gift shop and was just irritated that he had to help her at all. He would spend hours at a neighbors bedside at a hospital and shower them with gifts. Yet for the lady who sacrificed her soul and daughter to protect his pedophilia and keep her “ upper status life”. I have Freudian problems which is making me angry as I do not like Freud either. I actually have full body paralyses when my Dad is cruel, it’s taken me 4 years to get through all the gaslighting in order to get free of the response. I am relieved as even though I have done awful things due to my “ training” but I knew enough to understand that I had hurt someone yet didn’t understand how, as I had never been able to have any influence over my parents actions . I even took baths in poison oak in desperation to not have to wear a thousand dollar dress that I would ruin without meaning to. I had forgotten the incest, it became a flashback of being raped and seeing an outline of my fathers face but not knowing it was my Dad. I figured it out when trying to get some memories back and seeing what he looked like when I was 5 years old. I am finally free of the full flashback. Right now I’m trying to keep my upper right rib in its socket. I dislocated 3 while preparing for my Mom’s memorial and my Dad would not allow me to go to the doctor for 3 months. He only helped me get to a physical therapist because her voice was sexy to him. He tried to see her too but she said no. His legs were nerve related. I have kept him alive through two emergency back surgeries and hired healthcare workers to keep both of us alive. The one who tried the most quit as she was to tortured by my position and I know she smiled when I yelled at him thinking my Mom’s dog had died from a seizure because ge was making just getting through the day so hard that she , who is the one who they called in for the hardest cases, was totally getting confused by the end. She took me to two ER’s when my doctor quit his practice with me on 25.7 mgs of benzodiazepines. My Dad made one phone call two days before I would have started seizing and immediately found a doctor who gave me a months worth. I’m so ashamed of when I believed him about the world, I was smart enough to not allo anyone kind anywhere near me yet I still cringe at who I have dated. One drugged me, tied me up and put a knife to my throat and then took too much heroin and I was able to wiggle out of the plastic things he had tied me up with. I did not know people shot up heroin in their toes. I got my cat and got home only to have my Mom say I probably deserved it. My Dad went into anger that I had put the family in danger. I’m doing chi gong as I can’t do somatic or I will have flashbacks. I had to hide my true self so far down inside. I’m trying to reparent myself as my therapist helped me become aware of how badly my Dad was messing with my mind. I have been terrified of my true self, I truly thought I had to be evil due to my parents cruelty. Yet now I can remember how often I fought back. I was in treatment by the time I was in 5th grade, unfortunately that psychiatrist was truly twisted and around two years ago one of his clients hacked him up and left parts of his body in the Nevada desert (Dr Burchard, he definitely was with my parents on them being wonderful and I was being awful for not wanting to be totally controlled). I know that when I’m surrounded by kind people I feel only curiosity and kindness. I am trying to break free of howcontrolled I’ve been by my narcissistic family. I was always “ to sensitive” when I was just trying to figure out how to survive. My parents followed me through high school, they became best friends with the priest and the principal of the school. I was definitely problematic as I was terrified of letting anyone close to me due to knowing my Dad was a sex addict to prepubescent girls and my Mom obsessed over my first boyfriend.I feel bad my Dad taught me nothing about reality. I have replayed my childhood many times, having no idea that I was capable. Once I became aware of my Dads sabotage and being upset if I had any attention he didn’t have , I finally realized I am capable .I’m just trying to convince my childhood self that my Mom is dead and can’t spread rumors and my Dad has no right to keep me hostage by harming himself. I’m glad I don’t have to be a victim so I don’t become a predator. My cptsd has been problematic, I go right into freeze, fawn or flight around people. I did not understand what was wrong with me until my friend showed me her information on how to identify a child being harmed at home. It was everything I was doing. I’m still afraid to become a part of a group until I’ve managed to get away from my Dad and allow myself to do things. I have been punished for everything, it’s hard to allow my heart to show through. I was surprised when a guy in one of my treatment centers said I was the type to give the jacket off my back if someone else was cold. I am trying to not dissassociate . I don’t have a timeline, I thought I was 13 when a girl off the street moved in and I found out from her that I as only 5 years old. I have spent years to terrified to interact with people. I’m trying to keep going to the SAME gas stations and stores as after my last exboyfriend I actually got amnesia and started hallucinating. I could not calm myself down and was devastated as he destroyed my safe group and then I realized I was totally alone in the universe and had no faith in myself or my thoughts. I am working on self efficacy and balancing my neurotransmitters yet I am sad I have acted crazy if I get triggered into a childhood trauma tract. I care very much about this planet and animals. I had friends trying to help me each time I went into my trauma but I don’t want to create another friend until I’m sure I won’t put anyone through having to rescue me from some sociopath. I realize now I felt like if I could fix one of them I would never have to face that my very famous teacher parents were actually communal narcissists and sociopaths. I was so bummed when the exboyfriend showed up at my AA group, I begged God to please not take away

[@Firuzeh]

🙏🏼❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🙏🏼

[@angelamossucco2190]

❤

[@My_klei]

I learned to to be a ghost than I let my wall down I'm now back to square one

[@QuantumMechanic8]

Bit of bias to say young children are not self monitoring. Maybe it wasn't part of your childhood, but it is definitely for some of us and has traumatic origins.

[@annaynely]

Except when we are plannng wars in other countries to steal tbeir riches

[@adrianfeeger]

seriously i cant believe how evil you guys are in terms of not understanding what bs your promoting for the most sick and vulnerable... how dangerous self-awareness is for the very ill

[@adrianfeeger]

Not only what i've posted previously and you have removed but your judging those worthy of help based on if they can/can't be self aware. The reality is those incapable of it need the most help and deserve no less and should not be devalued based on their ability to understand a situation.

[@adrianfeeger]

not to mention that self-awareness is mostly a false narrative given that free will doesn't exist based on libet's experiments,

[@adrianfeeger]

we are just creating valid sounding reasons for what we do - seriously you guys should know neuroscience better than what your admitting to.

[@sunnyadams5842]

@@adrianfeeger I am drawn into making this comment against my better self-awareness. Each to their own, but if you are going to b sssooo...Can't access the word right this minute. Maybe there isn't one, yet! One should, in my estimation, strive to be above criticism when criticizing because your point looses credibility when you demonstrate ignorance in the basic mechanics of your grammer skills: Are you aware of the various forms of You're and Your? I am aware that you aren't! How refined can your perception of Anything be if you have failed to learn a first grade lesson? Scroll on, brother, if you don't find something useful.

[@adrianfeeger]

@@sunnyadams5842 lol right, I'm worried that my argument doesn't impress a grammar nazi...lmfao