Four Sperm Donor Siblings Meet to Solve a Family Mystery | This Morning

Every person born from a donor might have multiple siblings they had no idea existed, and now a brand new ITV documentary series is following some of those individuals as they track down a host of brothers and sisters. Today we're meeting Liam Renouf, who grew up with his single mum on the island Jersey. After taking part in the documentary, Liam discovered he didn’t have just one, but FOUR secret siblings from the same anonymous donor. Liam is here today with his mum Julie, alongside his half-sister Beth, to share their incredible story.
Broadcast on 22/01/2024
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[@am1156]

Everyone has the right to know where they came from, who their mother is and who their father is. And imagine the risk of meeting and falling in love with your sibling. Edit: The stories people are telling! Keep them coming.

[@DrDre999]

Exactly. I remember there was a story about twins that were separated at birth, meeting, falling in love and later finding out they were twins. Sibling connection is natural but it's important to be able to distinguish the love!

[@aishariel9924]

@@DrDre999 yea that really happened in Alabama 😂. They were already married when they found out through a fertility doctor. Crazy isn’t it? There was also another story of a man falling in love with an older woman who he later found out is his biological mom. I think that happened in Georgia, USA.

[@tashaax1993xanimalloverx]

Exactly...bet its well common

[@sharondoan1447]

The heartbreak of possibly having a romantic relationship with a close blood relative can be avoided. It takes honesty on the part of the mother and a deep understanding of why she needs to be honest. Not one of these mothers meant anything but good at the time these babies were conceived . They just didn’t look that far into the future. And I believe being only half siblings could have reduced the birth defects possibilities. They may be closer to first cousins in their genetic makeup.

[@LoantakaBrook]

It is pretty crazy. It must take a toll on all involved.

[@sashaashby]

i love how brilliant the mom is: kind and sense of humor..the best human traits

[@peggyesquibel8353]

Sounds fascinating. I think it’s wonderful the half siblings have found each other! I also love how respectful the young man is in honoring the wishes of the donor to not be identified. Heartwarming story!

[@GrammaNay]

I was adopted as a newborn. While I've done the DNA testing all I've found were some 2 + removed cousins. One of them was gracious enough to give me viewing access to their family tree, so ive been able to see what my biological father's side of the family looks like. And how much both of my boys look like them, and I looked very similar also.

[@stephanieyee9784]

That's great news.

[@sounsure9108]

Dad had rock’in hair gene’s though

[@ToeTag1968]

Wild. I'm glad they all found each other. This issue begs for more care in dating and marriage. What a nightmare it'd be to meet someone and find out too late they're a half sibling. Oof.

[@sulwhale3171]

I feel like when I hear stories of your mom helping giving you a child is better imo.

[@kh7794]

It's been done actually.

[@aliandra8476]

I think the issue is bumping into a sibling without knowing and getting in a relationship 🎉

[@soapqueen2008]

That’s true and all but they signed papers that allow them To stay anonymous, and they aren’t allowed to contact the donor even with this new law they can’t contact the donor they can know who they are and not much else

[@alizahalon]

In Israel the law is that if you are adopted, for example, you can find out who you are when you turn eighteen.

[@sw_9_9_9]

@@soapqueen2008 Donor-conceived people didn't sign anything, and there's nothing to stop them contacting the donor. That doesn't mean the donor has to respond.

[@aquillerjay4286]

As an adopted child I think Connors should not be anonymous as knowing your genetic background is important it is not about wanting a relationship but knowing where you come from and forming your identity as your biological parent is a part but not all of the picture

[@travelwell6049]

I think there is pertinent information on file at the donation centre. As Liam said he was able to view the file and hear a voice message. It’s possible though, as you say that it could include more information given what we know now.

[@rhyanshelby6572]

Most banks will release the donor's identity to the child once they turn 18

[@StellaKnights]

should really be a maximum amount of children a donor can father , perhaps 6 and from different parts of the country

[@sw_9_9_9]

There's a limit in the UK of one donor only being able to help 10 families.

[@toriladybird511]

Better yet OTHER countries

[@CaptchaNeon]

For what reason though?

[@jo-vf8jx]

@@CaptchaNeon so you don’t accidentally end up getting together with your half sibling and not knowing that they are your half sibling

[@spsfitnessstrudley7718]

@@CaptchaNeonincest?

[@marilynrowland5197]

I really enjoyed this story! I have seen other stories about donor dads who were willing and happy to meet with their offspring, as long as things were kept friendly and easy. Some donor dads had quite a few kids, and you can't be a real "dad" in such a situation. In fact, one donor dad was married and had a couple of kids of his own with his wife. He handled the relationship with his donor children really well!

[@humaneleaguelancPA]

Wonderful interview, thank you.

[@AlM22]

Glad I found this video in time! Just caught the show on ITV1+1 right now Amazing how these two look the most alike, that donor DNA going strong

[@dinkster1729]

Good grief! I came across a picture of a cousin once removed. She looked exactly like my middle sister. More like my middle sister than me or my sister or my brother do. I asked my husband who this was and showed him the picture. He identified her straight away as my sister! She'd be younger, of course, since my cousin who lives thousands of miles away was about my sister's age, but the resemblance was uncanny.

[@joyceogwe3272]

Very strong genes there.

[@Themis33]

Thank god they found out they were related. If they'd met they would've been inadvertently attracted to each other as people are attracted to people who look like them. So that could've been awkward 😳🤣

[@kreyaSun]

I think in cases like this, people need to know that there are people who are related to you. Not only to know who you are and where you come from, but also imagine these people randomly meeting somewhere not knowing they are siblings.

[@51Saffron]

In my a state here, one man fathered over 150 children, and another (who just happened to be the fertility doctor) 99 and counting. I don't know each to his own, but my male relations said they value any future children of their own just to give them away. What about the donor? If they were promised anonymity, isn't this an invasion of their privacy? What if you end up dating a sibling? There should of been a cap on how many babies could be fertilized. I saw a documentary on this, one biological father was fine and happy about meeting his biological children, and another was happy to meet them, but he did not want an kind of future relationship with them. Everyone though has the right to their medical history and biology. This can be done without intruding.

[@tashaax1993xanimalloverx]

So basically siblings could be dating each other not knowing...pretty messed up really

[@sulwhale3171]

Rip the siblings bond when they find out they won’t even want to see each other anymore if they did find out probably.

[@nicholedowning8341]

I believe this is a wonderful thing but I am paranoid about accidentally dating a sibling. My youngest is adopted and although we know about the birth mothers family we know nothing about the birth fathers family.

They all have great hair. Different cuts and colors, but I envy their hairs.

[@pumpkin-fu4cm]

I think morally the child should have a right to a relationship with their biological parent if they want one. People want to know where they come from, it is not the childs fault how they came into the world so I think its wrong saying things like they don't have a right to a relationship.

[@beyondthesass162]

True, but the right should be both ways as well. The child should have a right to know where and who they came from so as to avoid any future issues, but when it comes to relationships, it shouldn't be forced down either of their throats. That could end up disastrous.

[@lorialicesipes5266]

How can we watch Liams ITV documentary in the US?

[@katieistiredagain7288]

She seems like a good mum

[@asifamalik1387]

I don’t think it should ever b secret as many problems can occur like relationships also medical reasons ..

[@ms.krueger2660]

It’s wonderful that these people got the children that they wanted. I would be afraid that they would grow up , meet and accidentally marry their half sister or brother!! That would scare me!!

[@karynconner7478]

In Nz donors are only allowed to have 6 live births. I used a donor & I asked the question of my dr

[@lillkarin7472]

Can anyone tell me which DNA test is the best. I was raised by my biological parents and I know of our closest relatives (aunt's, uncles, cousins, grandparents and great grandparents) but I have problems with finding information about some of my great grandparents. I can't find their parents, if they had any siblings or if they had more children then we are aware of. It's a little bit frustrating, and if I'm frustrated then I can't even begin to imagine how those that are donor born are feeling. To know where you are coming from is important for someone's identity and the knowledge that anyone that walk past you on the streets could be family must be hard. I can understand that most donors want to remain anonymous, but I believe the children does have a right to know about their ancestry, and at least have access to their families medical history. They don't need to have a relationship with their donor family, but they should have an opportunity to know of them. I myself have always had questions about my own family, especially after I have been told I have relatives in America. So I'm hoping that a DNA test can help me find more family. Not that I lack relatives as my father was second oldest of 8 siblings, most of them having more that one child, something that have led me to have around 20 cousins (many of them have children of their own), but I still want to know more. I want to know of my roots and ethnicity. Me, my parents, my grandparents and my most if not all of my great grandparents were born in Norway, but outside that I have no idea where my family comes from. I have no idea if all my ancestors have lived in the country or if they have immigrated from other countries. For all I know some of my ancestors could have immigrated from the middle east during the viking era. The point is I want to know and I'm wondering what DNA test is the best.

[@CaptchaNeon]

I really do believe that donors should have a choice whether to get to know the children they created. I can understand kids wanting to know but honestly, many donors don’t want to know.

[@christajennings3828]

Its possible to provide genetic information without giving a name. That would help alleviate fears of accidentally having a child with your sibling, and provide medical information about inheritable diseases.

[@CaptchaNeon]

@@christajennings3828 Absolutely. Honestly that sounds like a great idea. I didn’t think of it that way

[@peaceandlove679]

The first son and the second daughter in the pic look exactly the same

[@spulwasser]

I'm assuming that's the full siblings (Girl in the interview and her brother Charlie)

[@maryduffy2036]

Do they have a limit on a donor as to how many they can father ? If not there should be for obvious reasons

[@CC-hx5fz]

They do. I have a cousin who was a donor in the 80s. The fertility clinic said they would only use his donation in *one* state (in Australia), but it looks like they later sent some to another clinic, in a different state. They don't have limits on how many times the mother can keep using the same donor for more brothers and sisters. My cousin seems to have maybe 17 children between 8 or 9 mothers.

[@CatsandJP]

This can be scary stuff…I have a friend who found out their father at a young age was a donor….and sadly he is really scared to date…and the dates he has been have gone nowhere…because he is too afraid the person may be one of his siblings…even worse several doctors have been donors who have tried to help people have a family…

[@robinjohnston7986]

This is so scary in the fact that a person could be your sibling and you not know it, fall in love, marriage, have children. What happens next? It’s a fact the DNA of having children with someone that close to you will have long term side effects and can lead to physical, mental, and emotional problems for those children. This is not ok and very sad.

[@pmbrulle1097]

So cute that they think men donated out of the goodness of their hearts

[@dinkster1729]

They don't get paid much, if anything. It's not like a surrogate mother who gets paid a small fortune.

[@al3xdavina]

Surrogate's do not get paid in the UK, except for reasonable expenses. Anything more is illegal. In America, yes.

[@sw_9_9_9]

Some do. I was a donor and gave all the money to charity (the clinic insisted they had to pay me). UK donors don't get paid much anyway.

[@melanieb2132]

​@@sw_9_9_9men love to spread their seed. It's not really out of the goodness out of their heart. Some men get off knowing they are prolific, even artificially

[@AJourneyBackToEden]

​@@melanieb2132🙈 not every man is like that. Some men are disgusted by the thought of this

[@edw8889]

My actual family not fun I would love the extra siblings. Maybe I would get a good one

[@lc285]

What if the donors lie about their personality traits such as instead of kind and a sense of humour, the donor is really a cruel psychopath?

[@annasaddiction5129]

Well, that's a new thought 💭 I haven't had yet. I always wondered if we could test the nowadays psychopath to be repeated to the first documented cases and see if they're related. At least pet country but who knows maybe even overseas. H.H. Holmes definitely had offsprings and certainly more than 1 so who would know they might still carry that on ?

[@annasaddiction5129]

Well, that's a new thought 💭 I haven't had yet. I always wondered if we could test the nowadays psychopath to be repeated to the first documented cases and see if they're related. At least pet country but who knows maybe even overseas. H.H. Holmes definitely had offsprings and certainly more than 1 so who would know they might still carry that on ?

[@51Saffron]

Yes, they can lie, especially in the past.. There was a single mother who wanted a highly intelligent donor. The man was studying engineering, but he was also manic depressive and bi polar. These traits were not revealed. She, along with a couple of other single women all had boys, and all of them had severe behavioral problems and were diagnosed with bi polar and other mental illness. Just because labs, medical health, physical features look good on paper doesn't mean there isn't something wrong up top. @@annasaddiction5129

[@banksiasong]

Connor's a lovely lad.

[@Cuppacuriositypodcast]

What’s the name of this female host? She really good.

[@kh7794]

The biggest threat with not knowing is marrying and having kids with your sibling. I have horrible health but none of the other 5 kids did and we were from same parents. So I can't say health is a big one and plus if it's bad, it could alter your quality of life and attitude to it so would you really want to know. I was sick at 16 and thank goodness I lived it up in the 15 years before to the best of my ability because it changed everything. I'm just assuming mine showed up so much earlier due to mom being so run down while pregnant with me combined with me being a super emotional super introverted super thinker who does too much of all 3. 1 was activated by a sports injury but already existed, just dormant.

[@marycreagh9786]

If it was strictly anonymous donor then there not supposed to know their fathers.. what way would that effect them then when they grow up.. it’s fine when their small but when they grow up !

[@tedroberts19]

Every child has every right - the adults involved at the time made their choices they cannot dictate what the child in adult hood will want and agree to. END OF

[@wickedbird1538]

😮😮if I had a donor father and I met someone, I would find out if they had a donor parent. If so, then test to see if related before moving forward.

[@dinkster1729]

You can't be too careful. LOLOL!

[@TryingtoTellYou]

You want what you don't have. You wanted kindness and a good sense of humour. You won't find those in someone who partakes in child trafficking.

[@adwoamk8918]

They could actually find the donor, 😕 which wouldn't really be fair because he wasn't supposed to be found. I know it's difficult but they should resepect his boundaries.

[@rebeccaknapton7297]

And they did. They chose to make no contact as he had been anonymous when he donated

[@sw_9_9_9]

Donors didn't have the choice to be id-release back then, and plenty have since waived anonymity.

[@richarddecker9515]

I am having a hard time with their accent. Stronger than Doc Martin

[@faithlesshound5621]

About the danger of accidentally dating a half-sibling, that's not new. Back in the days when rich men sowing their wild oats naturally inseminated a lot of poorer women, there would have been lots of covert half-siblings living near to each other. Nobody had a "right to know" then: instead there was a presumption that a woman's husband was the father of her child. Lance Percival had a hit record about this issue, "Shame and Scandal in the Family" in 1965.

[@nadyakotik6927]

So if mom ordered a child that's funny and he's not funny, will she be disappointed? I understand she wanted her own child, but she is creating a fatherless situation. Adoption or foster care is available, as those kids are already parentless and need any home that will love them

[@princessadora]

considerate but give the dad a chance he might be dying for you to knock on his door

[@dann5268]

Geneticly Siblings marrying is not the end of world .....unless it happens over and over again...

[@LBowen-wg5rn]

Huh?

[@rickysmom809]

Bless him he doesn't really have that sense of humour though.

[@user-xx6ud8iq7g]

They’re not talking about anything funny? Do you know him personally?

[@marycreagh9786]

He’s very serious he was on the show too at least that’s the way he came across to me…that sister that’s there is lovely always smiling.

[@reepicheepsfriend]

As much as I really, really want to be a mom, I could NOT do this under any circumstances. It is simply not fair to the children born.

[@CaptchaNeon]

Why is that? Some people want children so badly they don’t mind raising them alone

[@reepicheepsfriend]

@@CaptchaNeon It's not about that. If I get married, have a child, and then my husband passes away, I might still have to raise a child alone. But at least my child will know that I did everything I could to allow them a relationship with their father. Children need relationships with their parents - both of their parents. Sometimes, unfortunately, we are not able to give them that. But at least, I don't want to be a person who deliberately takes that away from a child.

[@dinkster1729]

@@reepicheepsfriend My granddaughter knows her donor, but they don't really have a father / daughter relationship. He's more like a distant uncle. He never was anonymous. He lives a day's car travel from my granddaughter and I don't believe they visit. They might be closer if she was a boy though.

[@catesandy]

It’s unfortunate you think that way, but each to their own. As a child of a single mother of choice I personally haven’t found that to be the case. Yes, I know who the donor was but I see him as a family friend rather than a father and I don’t feel like I’m missing out. If anything, I’m more mournful about the fact that my mother’s parents both died before I was born so I don’t have grandparents.

[@sharonunikilyngdoh]

Agree!

[@PAPSN]

They have a right to know but not really at the same time. Those donators signed a non disclosure. They were never to be liable for the children. They were doing these women a favor. They didn’t just go make babies all over the world. Women sought out this service. It’s kind of unfair and illegal to show up on these peoples door step. Some of those people hate kids and never wanted kids they just needed money and provided the service. It’s actually not a right. It actually doesn’t matter although I understand why people want to know. Doesn’t change the facts of the situation sadly.

[@LampWaters]

Lolol dna testing b4 dating required.

[@jennifercruz1293]

This is not OK. Unfair and unethical for the child. This is the doctor, donor and the moms doing. All adults involved really need to put more thought into the child's life and well-being for now and the future. Children should not be shopped for.

[@URFUTUREUK]

Who's this new presenter woman?

[@kitkat88816]

She’s much more likeable then holly and professional

[@maverick214]

There must be a shortage of barbers on Jersey.

[@LS-eo5hg]

Fathers should always have to provide for their children

[@ginadelsasso288]

Not in these cases.... There are plenty of sterile men that still want to have children.

[@nursemom101casteel7]

Some men aren't ready to be fathers just as some women aren't ready to be mothers. Just because you are fertile doesn't mean you can or should be a parent.

[@banksiasong]

But they never do!

[@LS-eo5hg]

Totally agree so donation from someone who doesn’t want to be is a no no. I’m glad anonymity is gone now and the right for these children to know where they came from is available to them.

[@lesleyberry8508]

People don't have the right to know if it was chosen IVF and anonymous donation. Maybe be better to do DNA tests before marriage or children.

[@wendylee9255]

Yes they do. You have the right to your DNA and the donor has to deal with it.

[@keithb6717]

Based solely on prison statistics, it should be illegal for single women to have kids. See: Statistics/Science

[@user-ne4zt4fm1b]

What a mess 🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮

[@elladesigns9609]

I don't think this should be allowed. It's unfair to the child.

[@lastdays8500]

Seems they all have the same genetics to the point they have tattoos and that same type of style lol

[@dinkster1729]

Everybody seems to have a tattoo these days.

[@lastdays8500]

@@dinkster1729 Not me

[@kathrynbroome5966]

i think its not rite to tell anyone who the doner was unless u ask thaperson first belive you have the rite to no the health ishues of the doner but i dont think u have the rite to no who he is

[@sw_9_9_9]

The donor-conceived, rather than the parents, clinics, or donors, are the people most directly affected by donor conception, and they are the ones who have to live with the consequences the longest. Why should anyone's desire to have a child override a donor-conceived person's desire to know the identity of their genetic father? I believe that the ending of donor anonymity in the UK was long overdue. It was actually ended as a result of a case brought by two donor-conceived people to the European Court of Human Rights. Other countries that have ended donor anonymity include Sweden, Austria, Switzerland, Norway, Australia, The Netherlands, New Zealand, Finland, Iceland, Ireland, Germany, Portugal, and France.

[@swhiting100]

Dermott's not suited to this job. He seems uninterested and bored as well.

[@love2sing20101]

This is so selfish of these mothers. So sad, this should absolutely be illegal. Nothing wrong with these grown children of course but the whole scenario is messed up.

[@AmyLouise2510]

How is it selfish exactly? Some people are unable to have children without a donor. That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be allowed the opportunity to become a mother. No different to a closed adoption other than the child is genetically theirs…. And I’m sure no one would argue that adoption should be illegal

[@wendylee9255]

The mothers that intentionally raise children without a father.

[@kristinebailey6554]

Sad to see a young man, raised with no father figure, I had a magnificent father and would never rob a child of that balance in life. Women please don't do this to children!

[@CaptchaNeon]

Not using a donor doesn’t mean the father will be in their lives. Many men have no interest in raising their kids.

[@HeidiSholl]

Why is it sad? There are so many children who don't have a father figure and it's absolutely fine. You can get a male role model from many people in your life. But he has a mum who wants him so much that she went and did it alone, and that's amazing. A number of father figures also aren't that wonderful, and some kids would maybe be better off without them. (And mothers too). It truly is not black and white

[@lyndsey6040]

My dad was present but we all dreamed about the day he would go out for milk and never come back. The only thing he gave me was a knowledge of our families generational trauma. I’m glad you had a good dad, but that’s not everyone’s experience so I don’t think you should be giving advice.

[@martynnotman3467]

Hes incredibly smart, well spoken and well adjusted. His single mother did a great job

[@flowerbombh4326]

This is wrong on many levels .

[@sw_9_9_9]

Why? 🤔

[@andrear1599]

In my opinion i think it is selfish . To potentially and deliberately put the child in a situation where they are in search and feel the absence of a parent .The fact that there are potential donors being put in a catalog like some sort of business exchange . There are plenty of kids who are orphaned in the world .

[@bizarreisthenewblack]

there are people with kind hearts and resources to raise children who can't have them and people who can have them but don't want them. most children are born into circumstances that aren't ideal but people keep birthing them, isn't that immoral?

[@sw_9_9_9]

@@andrear1599 Donors helping other people have families seems the opposite of selfish to me. There are some donor-conceived people (and they're the ones who matter most in this) who are against donor conception, but it's a small minority.

[@andrear1599]

@bizarreisthenewblack.929 and noone is arguing the immorality of bringing kids into the world to later not even want anything to do with them . But where does 1 immorality justify the other ? Im confused . The donor , surrogate is actively ,intentionally leaving the child they contributed in bringing into the world and effectively not having any part in the childs life .

[@Peepandbridgette87]

This whole baby bank thing is cruel. Humans aren’t something you just pick from a catalog. Same thing with surrogates ( not speaking of infertility issues). It’s all so impersonal

[@suziesmith9076]

This is a very selfish/self serving way to have kids

[@murralyn7981]

You’d nearly need to do a DNA test before dating.🧐 That’s a bit awkward. 🥸