Friendship Breakups | ZULA ChickChats | EP 116

In this episode of ZULA ChickChats, we discussed our stories of friendship breakups. Watch to find out more!
Here are the timestamps of the topics covered during the episode:
00:00 ​- Intro
01:04 - Personal Experiences
09:45 - Lessons Learnt
11:07 - Relationship VS Friendship Breakups
11:51 - IG Q&A
13:55 - Advice and Conclusion
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Featuring:
John Edward Lim - / johnjohnah
Charmaine Sew - / charmainesew
Joyce Yang - / joycestarbean
Leah Shannon - / mizchiefmagik​
Filmed By:
Shash Yoga - / shashneetha
Yeow Jia Yi - / yeowjiayi​
Edited By:
Leonard Lee - / heyleonardhey​
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[@ZULAsg]

Friends to the very end, maybe? Share with us your instances of a broken friendship in the comments below!

[@nt6253]

Breaking up with friends is harder than a rs because very often, you have common friends and they have to maybe pick a side when a friendship is broken.

[@Chloe-dl3lh]

Feature Joyce more on Zula please!! She is one of the wise OGs I really look up too. Her thoughts (not limited to this video) are really mature.

[@user-nr1mh6fg3n]

omg +1!!!

[@potatofries5256]

joyce is so eloquent!!

[@user-nr1mh6fg3n]

+1

[@Chloe-dl3lh]

Many of my friends just drift off as we graduate, move on to the next phase of life (some go uni/army and some getting married) and have new set of priorities and mindset. As an introvert who puts in my all into friendships, I did find it hard to reconcile with this harsh truth but ultimately now, I just get used to being alone and my own person. If someone comes along from school/work, we help each other and stuff like that but I still find it hard to bring the friendship out of school/work. Anyone else have similar experiences or any advice? 🤔

[@itzSoonz]

I'm an introvert, myself and i find great difficulty in reconnecting to the people in the past.

[@adhiantos]

Same here, in the past I thought that I would stay close with a certain group of friends (because we were really close). But now we just drift apart but that's okay, I just accept the fact that each of us has a life to live and yeah we're just carrying on with our own lives. But I'm thankful to still a group of friends that still try to keep in touch all these years! :)

[@dynt5587]

It helps me to think that friends come and go just like the four seasons of the year do (Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter). Every season has a beginning and an end, but what matters is living in the moment and cherishing them as much as we can. Ticking of time is the only constant. When one season's over, we move on to the next with grace. Look at the big picture. Beauty of life ~

[@Chloe-dl3lh]

@@dynt5587 yes, love this! Some people come into your life for a season and they are not meant to stay forever. Holding on after the season has ended might not be good either so yes, cherishing each moment now ~

[@Topolist]

You win some you lose some, that is life. the wheel still spins

[@itzSoonz]

pin this

[@marissagq]

I never cried for a relationship breakup before but I cried so much after the loss of a friend! 🥲

[@gigglegagaing5]

So, i used to have one very close friend from university. I literally share everything, like EVERYTHING. I am always an open book and she was too. But then when we came back from the US, we live in different cities. Still going strong though for a good 5/6 years, even when we still live in different cities and me being married and her still single, i feel like i went back to uni days everytime i talk to her. However, we had a fallout regarding a planned out holiday where i wasnt happy with her asking one of her friend that i’m not closed with to come along. Her reasoning was because she’s quite close with that person and would feel guilty if she didnt ask her to come along. I was pissed as i told her that i also have other close friends in my city, but i’m putting her as priorities and dont wanna ruin the trip by asking my other friend along. I was quite disappointed as obviously we have different priorities regarding the trip and friendship. And i felt cornered because i felt like i was the bad guy again in this since i’m the one who was being upset about it. Then she got angry and said sorry while being angry and told me that whenever i’m ready to forgive her, i can text her. So ever since that “apology”, we havent talked. Sometimes i miss her, but well, some people deserve to be in our life and some dont, and thats ok.

[@fion3943]

Dude but she apologised tho, and it's such a minor thing to have another friend tag along? Yeah sure, it's not just the two of you, but I'm sure you can have some fun times with others as well. This is just straight up pettiness, casting aside years of friendship for one petty incident. I think people like you shouldn't have relationships since you can't accept nor handle conflict.

[@spicysalmonsushi]

this came at the right time ah 🥲

[@Chloe-dl3lh]

Hugs!

[@CapDingo1975]

You got me with this one. I cut off a friend because when I disagreed to befriend a colleague, she insisted I was wrong and was adamant I needed to change my mind and befriend him (he's part of senior management). She keeps telling me he is not like that but I disagree. We talk about this every time we meet up and it only stops because I change topic. Then one time she really pushed hard. I disagreed and we argued. At the end we ended the call and stopped talking about it, moving to other topics - but this was more intense than "usual". Then that last time when I picked up the phone she launched into it straight away again. Full throttle this time!! I was fed up and said we've already talked about this and I don't want to keep talking about this over again. And so she monologued for 5 mins. I didn't say a word. I told her we discussed this before so I don't want to talk about this again. She kept going. At the end she finished what she wanted to say then I didn't say anything and hung up. 30 seconds later I blocked her on WhatsApp, WhatsApp business, calls, SMS, FB, IG, LinkedIn, personal email, work email, Skype, teams. I've had enough. (note: this is not our first clash. She was nasty when she first joined our company, saying she was not willing to shift our Christmas lunch away from Friday lunchtime because our colleague was not Christian anyway so he didn't need to join, he was Muslim. So I refused to join that Christmas celebration too. Pfffft)

[@galbrie]

13:07 I love this phrase from Joyce"True friendship doesn't require you to take their advice every single time." Hits me so much because I had a friend who got very upset with me for not listening to her advice of changing myself (my personalities and behaviors of who I am as a person) and decided to simply cut me off. =')

[@chenjingze]

Solid episode friends!!

[@pstrify]

Leah is such an amazing host and deserves so much recognition for it

[@kylieng4617]

This is honestly really interesting, becos I was on both ends of the situation ( the friend that was being cut off as well as cutting out or more growing out of a friendship) both at the same time. Which I just come to terms with yes both hurts but sometimes we just got to understand that we need time apart from each other and treasure wat we had with that person wish them well and hope that one day maybe things willl be different and I feel like situation also matters like sometimes it’s just a stage in life that we have to go through things and live life out and all friendships are unique it can be “replaced “ by another person becos they are different ppl. But being at both ends of the spectrum I really feel like just have to come to terms with it as it is a part of life to just walk it out and work on yourself because ppl will come and go when they need to and sometimes u are the one that gets let go or vice versa

[@aaronstonerocks]

We need Rainer to do culture clash again hahahahaha, but great episode guys!

[@tedbecks7]

I'd be happy to see joyce here again anytime anyday!

[@cc.eciliaaa]

what happened to the captions? 😩

[@VitaSippo]

more about friendship, please

[@jinka3598]

Leah looks is when you need to do interviews at 7pm and go just back to Chromatica in 8pm?

[@philiadisca3910]

Suggestion for topics : Stigma for children growing up with a single parent

[@Jinnlongg]

Learn to let go dead weights which are called “friends”

[@jasontungjw]

One of my friends was angry at me but didn't tell me what actually happened. I don't even recalled what I spoke to her that triggered her. During one of the meetups she just didn't talk to me at all and pretended everything was alright. I mean... It's very obvious she was angry at something just refused to do something to solve it. I just had to let it go because since she is so insistent I did not do anything wrong then I find it no point to continue talking.

[@fion3943]

Maybe you can ask her why she mad.

[@jasontungjw]

@@fion3943 tried to reach out to her why she was mad but she kept saying she's fine. All the text messages suddenly became very cold then I decided that it is time for me to just stop because it is going nowhere.

[@yallenigunen1211]

Is the intro hand gestures the same as Rainer’s first vid ‘Culture clash’😂

[@sophieangsings6398]

mine happened quite fast,, we met on day 2 of a emp/mep music camp. we talked for the rest of the day and the next day as well (the next day was when we exchanged igs) then came the 3rd day when she blocked me on whatsapp (i got her number first before getting her ig on whatsapp). then like 2-3 months plus later i still kinda miss her, and like, being her friend :(

[@veup5894]

Another awesome video with great content. I have to say however, you guys really need to fix your mic and audio equipments. The audio quality across almost all your videos (and other related channels) suck. Very often the volume on our end needs turned up to max to even hear what the person is saying. There also seems to be alot reflective and vibrating noise in the background. Please QC your audio for the betterment of your videos (and our ears). Sincerely, a TSL fan.

[@user-eq7uw4ur3w]

I regret breaking up our friendship because of my ego🙃

[@someone-kd2zl]

oh first comment ig

[@scarj7821]

CULTURE CRASH