From Grief to Growth: The Heart Behind Our Regenerative Farm & Why Cardboard Didn't Make the Cut

[@juliepuhr9806]

Sweetheart, i am 64 years old. It will be 7 yrs this December 17, that my 25 year old son took his life. This came out of no where for our family. For me, the garden has been one of my refuges. I have so much to learn in the garden and my ambition is motivated by my grief….which continues . Thank you for sharing and I am sorry you lost your friend. I still hurt too.i do not have the mental stamina to research how to do the garden to the extent that you have. But little by little i toil in the ground …..getting its benefits as it regenerates my wounded soul.

[@sp9600]

Juliepuhr, Your comment gave me an aha moment. Regenerative gardening is not just about amending the soil but it is about mending the soul or spirit. Thanks to this content creator for sharing such a personal story. After the death of my mother- I explained to my father that no matter how bright the sun was shining it still felt dark for me…so I understand how you feel. May your future be filled with love and laughter and your gardens bursting with beautiful flowers❣️

[@margaretl579]

Julie, I'm sorry for the loss of your son. That must really hurt. Hugs to you, Julie.

[@consultingdesign0225]

So sorry Julie for you. I cannot imagine losing a child because I don't have any un4tunatly but I've had other lived ones and pets very close 2 me due unexpectedly too and it's devastating. Keep doing what yr doing in yr gardens and do what u love the most 2 keep yr strength. This young lady has wrds of wisdom and is heading on the right path!

[@kathrynmettelka7216]

People often don’t realize how devastating depression can be if they haven’t experienced themselves. It’s easy for others to miss the symptoms because those of us who struggle with depression don’t want to worry our family and friends. It’s like the old song “put on 11:53 a happy face” or “fake it till you make it.” Sometimes we don’t want to admit depression since it could be considered a weakness by us as well as other people. About a year ago we moved to South Carolina and starting a new garden was my priority. This summer I had dahlias for the first time and the flowers regenerated me, especially as I was able to share blooms with neighbors in our retirement community. I’ve just planted roses to bloom next spring and get to enjoy camellias flowering now. In winter here I will be able to enjoy hellebores, sometimes known as Lenten roses. There’s magic in a garden, which I learned by reading ‘The Secret Garden’ when I was a child.

[@erbliving6741]

My heart... goes out to you. God bless her so much!!!

[@sjjimenez9862]

You owe us nothing. You don't owe us an explanation. You don't owe us a reaction. Thank you for the gift of sharing your story and the work you do with the rest of the world.

[@juliandbob2383]

I’m not usually a commenter, but holy cow, it must be tough to work so hard and get negative comments. Thanks for your efforts to educate us. I’ve learned quite a bit. Especially since there are not many Colorado gardeners posting. I’m not going to follow all your practices in my small garden but I feel like I’m inching my way to better soil health. I appreciate what you do. :)

[@melisssturdy9272]

I am a new gardener and I’m gardening through grief. My daughter, my lovely Linnea was in her late twenties and left our earth, she was a marine biologist in Sweden, it has been two years. My Linnea trained with Boston Ballet for six years, every time I see you Brie, you remind me of her, beautiful , you look like you could be her sister. I trust your advice and find inspiration in your gardening show. Thank You for sharing, you are in my prayers 🙏love is endless, I’m sure your best friend continues to surround you with love from the other side. And I found three scrabble letters in my room , ASK.. In my faith of spirituality, she listens, and loves you always , and for me , I ask , and get so many signs. 🦋🌻🦋

[@erbliving6741]

Sending Gods angel to hug and hold you!!!

[@EvaMarieK]

Hugs to you. You are creating something beautiful and life-giving from this tragedy. What a beautiful way to honor your friend💛

[@jeanolson4064]

My son died 2 years ago. I struggle every day finding purpose to keep going. My garden is definitely a grounding point in my life. Thanks for sharing.

[@LaurenPalmer-m6w]

I’m so sorry you’ve had such negative feedback for simply sharing your experiences. And I’m so very grateful for ALLLL the knowledge you share so freely with us. I’ve really not found anyone else addressing the same ideas/practices at such depth and breadth as you. Your work is evident and your friend would be proud.

[@stanamessinger2886]

Thank you for sharing your loss with us, but I’m sorry you felt like you had to 😢. Grief led me to start my garden two years ago. Used cardboard under all my raised beds not knowing at the time in my dry climate it would take so long to break down. So thank you for confirming my instincts that something was wrong. Gardens evolve and if we have an open heart, we gardeners evolve too! Keep being you please, some of us like you that way!! 👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼

[@wbflowersvt]

Yes, climate/rainfall make a difference in how cardboard breaks down. Different places will find different practices more/less effective, and I don't blame you one bit about being cautious. Forever chemicals are no joke and I share your concern about unwittingly adding them to the soil. Better safe than sorry. I am grateful for your candidness and so glad your farm has been such a solace to you.

[@janalavtizar4426]

"Never assume." This sentence came to mind when I heard that you were a ballerina. If anyone had asked me, I would've said, 'Well, she probably has some agricultural/horticultural background; she's so knowledgeable." Who knew? And who knew that this farm was actually your best therapy in those times of ultimate darkness. May you keep finding solace and meaning in it. Reaching across the ocean and hugging you firmly, firmly.

[@esm6000]

I’m so so so sorry for your loss. Know that your farm, your care for the plants and earth and your beautiful attitude are a tremendous tribute to her memory. Thank you for sharing.

[@tuckerstacylee]

Brie, I love your authenticity. I lost my dad to suicide and I have had my own struggles as well. The way you describe how you owe nature for saving you is so beautiful and it absolutely resonates with me. Thank you for your channel! It’s a beautiful world you have created and I am grateful you share with us all.

[@erbliving6741]

Sending love.

[@traxmom]

Thank you for sharing this... and not just the cardboard information. It's lovely to hear how your passion developed and how the garden saved your life. Very meaningful. We all need to soften our hearts, don't we?

[@maryandrews8155]

I teach a gardening class and have recommended all my students watch your soil videos! I just recently found your channel and am blown away with the quality of your advice. You are an inspiration. Haters will hate, please just ignore them and keep the great content coming. You are sending ripples of responsible environmental stewardship out all over the world and I love you for it! I wish more growers considered the environmental consequences of their practices. I cringe when I see people burning holes in their plastic weed cloth. Thank you for turning your personal tragedy into something so positive and sharing it!

[@suzannecerrone7110]

Bri, you are a brave soul! I am so very sorry for your loss and the pain that you have worked though and surely still carry. I appreciate all that you offer on your channel. Your heart shines brightly and your peaceful way is lighting a path back to Nature as she is meant to be. Don't let anyone dull your shine!!💖

[@grammasworld]

72 years old and still learning. New to your channel and you just shot to the top of my garden learning. Your regenerative style is where I want to go. Thanks so much for your inspiration and for taking the time to share your experiences with regenerative, responsible gardening. Hugs! Debi in SoCAL.

[@floweringevergreen3584]

I'm in SoCal too and have found Bri so inspirational and informative.

[@gsdmom1194]

Hon, I'm sorry you have gone through this. 10 years ago, I had a child make an attempt. He had a teacher bullying him and had been for several years. I had no idea because he didn't share this information. I can't image the crushing pain and loss i would be going through if things had turned out differently. Your pain is heart breaking 💔 and Im so so sorry you lost such a special person in your life. As a mom, My heart breaks for her children too. I to am a CO gardener 👋👋, have been trying to practice safe, healthy ways of gardening since the 90's when my grandmother died from cancer. They told us it was caused by exposure to pesticides and herbicides being sprayed on the crops that surrounded her home. I vowed to garden completely natural and feed my family healthy, chemical free food that I grew. I made my own soil. We had just bought a new built home so the soil was horrible. Just hard packed clay and goat heads..... oh and rag weed!!!! During the early years, i did use cardboard because the wind blows the soil, the weeds will grow like Crazy and I had 2 little boys and several German Shepherds. That equals MUD in my house if i dont put down card board. As i got certain native plants growing, it took cardboard away. I went for draught toleratent plants. Russian Sage, Purple cone flower, milk weed, yarrow, clover, goldenrod, penstemon, colombine. I have TONS of Blue Aster. They didn't seam to mind that the soil was horrible. As i made my own composte, i added it to my gardens. For my lawn, i used organic dish soap, beer and coke...(the soda) I did need to add some gypsum to my lawn at one point. Anyway, i had fruit trees.....2 apple, plum, and apricot, berry bushes...red and yellow raspberriesand blackberries, strawberries, and rhubarb. In a fenced off area away from the dogs....concord grape vines. Unfortunately, CSU said it was from the big flood, the freezing of the standing water and following the spring freezing, my fruit trees and a few others died. It took years of taking kitchen scraps, pureed, added with a little of our horrible clay soil, dry leaves from my mom that i stored in the garage, little sticks, grass clippings and worms. I worked and worked. Now i have big Mulberry trees, oak trees. I mow The leaves, cover the soil....I worked hard but my soil is nice now. No chemicals

[@Debbiesbackyard]

Gardening heals a lot! It will forever be a happy place ❤ glad it has been yours too!

[@Joyfulfarmer]

This just adds so much depth and breadth to your story and your farm’s story. It’s tragedy, healing and beauty woven together. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing. So grateful to be learning from your journey and knowledge! ❤

[@rkhelms]

I’m sorry for the loss of your friend. I lost my dad 23 years ago. He was an avid gardener and that is where I got my compassion for gardening from! My flower garden grew and grew after he passed. He was in a bad farming accident. It was really hard for me. But I too found my peace and strength from my garden! It is healing. And I have to say I have been gardening for 40 years and I can tell that what you are doing in your gardens has to be the right thing because it is absolutely beautiful! Growing flowers and vegetables bring great joy to the heart and soul! Bless you and all you do! I LOVE your videos!!!! Thank you!

[@CMSCK]

I am seeing a trend here. Many, many people are gardening for hope and peace and recovery. My husband was diagnosed with a horrible illness and gardening became my respite. My little half acre that I cherish. In my mid-sixties, I am just learning and make many mistakes but when I eat something I have grown, feed my husband with food from my garden or put flowers on my table, I feel joy. Some days, I just want to hide in bed but know my little garden is calling me. Bless you for sharing your story and pain. Your channel is a favourite.❤️❤️

[@Speakupok]

Im sorry for your loss . I suffered and still suffer with depression and suicidal thoughts. I never tried or attempted to commit suicide because i always prayed to God for strength. I know that my depression started when my dad left us and our only escape at that time was our huge front yard. Whenever I would touch the soil the plants, the rocks, and flowers gave me a sense of peace. I love flowers, gardening and the smell of wet dirt lol. I pray God will give you strength and now i know why you are so passionate about gardening.

[@fraukeg.facchini2691]

You are "Wonder Woman! Thank you for sharing your story of loss, and grief. It is very hard to lose a longtime friend, especially in this manner. It is sad that women receive so little help after giving birth, especially with post-partum depression which was not well-understood and has caused so many tragedies. Thank you for all your research and hard work. 🤗

[@rachelcathey3920]

I love yoir channel so much. I just started my cutflower journey. Yours have been my absolute favorite! Homeschooling mom of twins and a singleton. Dont let anyone bring your down girl!!! Those comments and more directed at a angry life. Please dont ever stop!!! We love your content and whole vibe! ❤

[@GardenerPhyl]

Grief brought me to connect with nature and the land as well. I feel that great loss shows us what matters and helps us focus on what we will ultimately leave behind. That you for sharing your pain and your healing. I value the knowledge that you impart. May you have peace in your heart.

[@carol-annmckinley6124]

Thank you Brie, for all you bring. Its great when you tube viewers keep their comments positive and supportive. You do a fantastic one-woman show; it takes many more hours than we get to see to do the gardening, let alone filming, editing , and posting. Its your channel, so you get to choose what you offer, and respond to. Gratitude and admiration from a New Zealand viewer.❤🥰 ❤❤

[@ellet9342]

Every time I think I can't like you more I discover I'm wrong. Thanks for all the great info and hugs to you!

[@denisekelley2292]

The healing power of a garden and nature is unmatched by anything else. My garden healed and saved me after the loss of my grandma and mom. Thank you for sharing your story, you do make a difference beyond your little spot in the world. I appreciate that you share what you have learned and do and don't judge others for doing what they do, like so many others. May you continue to find peace and joy.

[@rachelrobinson6512]

🙌🥰 I agree! Gardening is so therapeutic. I lost my brother from suicide a year ago 💔 My friend told me depression doesn’t go away after one commits suicide it spreads to others. Finding resources (Mental and Physical) to help cope with grief is critical. I enjoy your channel. Thank you I’m sure that wasn’t easy to share.

[@Blossomandbranch]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing!

[@eileenstarr6607]

Dear Bri, thank you for being an amazing human! Our world needs more hearts and minds like yours. Thank you for all that you share with us, and may God bless you and your family. ❤️

[@sherylemoore8626]

I love your videos. I have found really great information. I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. I too have lost a loved one to suicide. I am glad you found comfort and strength in the garden. I am glad you are sharing your expertise and your days with those of us who love to garden in harmony with nature as best we can. Take care.

[@kristiejetter832]

I have loved watching your videos and will continue to do so. You are an amazing soul with so much to offer the world. I admire what you do and look to you with excitement for inspiration and information.

[@WhiteOakHollow]

I’m totally with ya on the cardboard!!!! Ive hesitated for years now. I’ve used it only when I’ve needed to smother the worst of the worst weeds. Other than that, the wood chip method has been LIFE changing, literally, for my soil! So to say the least, I’m with ya on team no cardboard. I LOVE the education and information you give! I’m so sorry for your loss. You have used heartbreak and tragedy and turn it into something absolutely beautiful and life giving, on your farm and others by sharing. God bless you!

[@touchdownusc9781]

Thank you for sharing your personal background. I want you to know that I appreciate the valuable purpose-driven information I learn from your channel. I live in coastal orange county in California zone 10A. After my mother and sister passed away from Covid I started a garden their honor. Looking forward to learning more about regenerative gardening on future videos. Take care, Gregory

[@MyFocusVaries]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[@torimarie7659]

I’m sorry for the loss of your friend. I want to honor the tender place of your heart you’ve shared with us and the intimate role it plays in your growing and tending. From a fellow dancer turned grower I just want to send my love.

[@MaxineAkins]

Beautiful- Thank you

[@llamawerkz]

Your youtube channel is one of the big reasons that I started native wildflower gardening and trying to fix the environmental damage of previous homeowners. Keep doing everything you are doing, which includes being cautious of trendy gardening practices and researching what is best for you and your situation. I've thought about using cardboard in some flower beds that are running wild with invasive weed species, but I think I'll just use the abundance of leaves we have here in SE Virginia to smother them out instead.

[@erik-andrehvidsten-artist3495]

Lots of love from a flower farmer/market gardener/singer in Norway❤️ it’s such a pleasure to follow you. You are doing an amazing job, and guidance can be rough sometimes.. remember all the people supporting you, cheering you. So sorry for your loss. It made me teary eyed here. You are such a light in a tough world 💝

[@danielabodemer168]

I have bought a farm a year and a half ago, and have similar values and goals as you regarding soil, nature, environment. I have learned so much from your videos, so a big thank you for your hard work. Its sad having to remind people to be respectful.

[@harlie1963]

Thank you for sharing, but know you didn't have to explain yourself. I have gone through extreme depression and anxiety especially since my Mom passed about 10 years ago. My Mom was an avid gardener and I really never was. When she died, gardening was a way for me to stay close to her. Now I live to go outside and "play" in the dirt. Watching you and other garden vloggers has given me so much inspiration! ❤ You be you and do what you feel is right for you and your family.

[@michelleyanche1706]

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I really started gardening myself as part of my own healing after a loss. There is something about connecting with the land and the soil that is so deeply restorative.

[@erbliving6741]

God bless and keep you.

[@ourmontanahomestead8880]

Thank you for sharing your story. Gardening is my therapy as well ❤ my only sister died 11 years ago from breast cancer at a young age with 2 very young children. She was my best friend and left a huge hole in my heart. I really enjoy your content!

[@erbliving6741]

God bless you and hold you in your grief.

[@rosemarybushea3517]

Thank you for sharing and my heart goes out to you. Such a hard and tragic loss! Gardening is like therapy for me, and being out in creation/nature is soothing to the soul. I've been gardening organically for 50 years and still learning every day. Your videos and experience are great! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Huge accomplishment to raise kids and a garden. . .❤

[@aprilelkins3339]

I never leave comments, but I feel you need to know how very much your work is appreciated and what a POSITIVE influence you have on me and my garden. Thank you very much and I look forward to more videos!

[@ryleesblooms]

5 years ago my best friend also committed suicide and I suffered a miscarriage immediately after. I dove head first into gardening and that’s also why I use no sprays, and try to create a safe space for all of our native insects. I’m just overly emotional when it comes to nature even more so now because it helped heal my soul. So now I want to pay it forward in a sense that I teach folks that you can grow beautiful abundant things without spraying, liquid feeding or using plastics. Last year we started everything from seed and we will again in 2024. Thank you for sharing your why. There’s so many of us that turn to the garden to heal. ❤ ps~ My daughter (8) is on her second year of ballet and just got so excited to hear one of her moms fav KZbinrs was a ballerina 🩰 💚

[@erbliving6741]

sending love and hugs... the hurts that drive us and mold us....

[@ryleesblooms]

@@erbliving6741 thank you

[@LatishaLiptrap]

Morning Brie, first and foremost let me say I love your channel! I have learned sooo much from you that has made me rethink about the way I garden and it's all been in ways to be more mindful and become more in tuned to the ecosystem where I live. I have been gardening for over 5 years seriously, and my main goal has always been to have pollinator friendly gardens. Having stumbled across your channel has opened my eyes to things I never even considered. Like becoming more knowledgeable about the native plants in my area that are beneficial yet are seen as just weeds, and how those native species support the native beneficial insects and birds and other native life forms. I am now doing research about adding native grasses to my area to increase native species habitat and to also plant things that benefit my little ecosystem without taxing it ( such as decreasing water usage, not having to use fertilizers etc.). I learned from you to not completely clean out my garden for the fall. I never realized to leave some things so that insects and birds can have habitats for winter. Brie, the list goes on!!! I have red clay soil because I live in the mountains in Paradise California. When I first started cultivating my land it was brick hard and I had zero worms. Now, as I learn new things and better practices, I am seeing worms throughout my clay soil. And to increase that I am always trying to learn more and I love how you talk about using the soil you have and caring for it in such a way that you can improve it without having to bring in outside soil all the time. Yes, the first couple of years I did do exactly that, I brought in soil and compost, but I would love to learn to improve the soil health without doing that! I may not understand all the science behind it, but in the most simplest terms it seems very straightforward in the sense that why not improve what you have within your own ecosystem instead of introducing outside influences that can alter that balance negatively. As for your video on the cardboard I am so glad that you shared that, because yes, I have used cardboard in the past and even now, but it has made me really think about what you said and it has made me rethink about using it. The fact that the soil doesn't get oxygen and it doesn't permit very much rainfall through it (in dry climates), completely makes sooo much sense and I can't believe I never realized that. I usually use it to suppress star thistle from reseeding and when I pull it up in the summer I noticed the cracking of the soil as you mentioned! I also wanted to say that I am assuming that this video is addressing cardboard comments from people who must have gotten upset about your last video, which blows my mind because to me gardening and gardening practices are ever changing and evolving. There are things we do because we learned a certain way to do it and at that time it was the way to do it, and then we learn later that that particular way may not be the best anymore because new research will come out that shows better practices that are more beneficial to our environment and our ecosystems. It's like the small farmers who are interplanting various different species together vs. monocropping because they understand now the benefits of it. I agree with a comment below where someone said disregard the negative comments. I feel your channel is a place where you plant the seed in us to help us think about more than just plants and flowers but to think about the overall entirety of the ecosystems were trying to create to benefit our environments. That gives us the jumping off point to go and research more about a topic you have covered or ways we can improve our gardens and land. Like I said sure I use cardboard, but after your video does that make me upset? Why no, it makes me say I should probably take a closer look at the effects of using cardboard because I have never really considered its impact in my environment. So many gardening channels are about buying plants and planting and there's nothing wrong with that, but what I love about your channel is it is leading me in a direction with my land and gardens that I want to go but just didn't know how to begin to achieve or even where to start. It's a channel where I have found so much inspiration to help transform my property into a native oasis that gives me joy while at the same time supports my native environment. Keep doing what you are doing!!! And lastly, I wanted to say thank you for sharing your video today. Thank you for being vulnerable with us, and sharing your story! I can't imagine that that was by any means easy. Again, I thank you for sharing with us!!! In 2018 I lost my house and town to the Campfire in Paradise California. Though, by no means is it the same as you loosing your dear friend, it was the most life altering and deveststing thing I have ever went through. When I finally rebuilt I turned to the garden almost as my lifeline to heal my soul. I had my gardens established before I even had my household together. I too needed that connection with nature, plants and the soil. I needed that dirt under my fingernails and I needed to see nature return to this barren land. Now, when i see the worms, birds, deer, jack rabbits and yes even the gophers and field mice it makes my heart smile. Its crazy how returning to the land and nuturing it can help soothe and cleanse ones soul!

[@vickigonya9432]

You are powerful, fearless, unstoppable, and incredible!!!!! ❤❤❤

[@williamvanscottnelson2605]

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I lost my beloved to a series of catastrophic illnesses, esophageal cancer ultimately took her. I decided to follow my passion (my love language is to feed people). I love gardening, so I decided to create a permaculture food oasis here in the desert of Southern California in Slab City. My goal is to help reverse and prevent malnutrition in this impoverished community. Finding purpose is the main thing that has given me the will to continue to live. (Growing in the desert is much different than growing in Central Illinois, my origin.)

[@CNoahDavis]

You rock. Love what you have shown me. It has moved me to embrace my own need to be outside and be involved in my own little land space. My own secret garden is 6,000 sq/feet. It is a year round devotion. There is so much more to say but the most impornt thing to say is : Thank you for being a kindrid spirit.

[@erbliving6741]

I have not learned so much about caring and nurturing our Earth, in ALL my years I don't think, than from YOU! and I can't even get started on people- of which I am one. : ( sometimes I wonder if my head is screwed on right! ) I too, am home growing flowers and more ... trying to rebuild both Earth and myself- to be better. There is so much I want to say... but let me say... I am so sorry, but know those hard things mold us and make us and you have been SO amazing in all you have learned and taught and I admire you and pray Our Heavenly Father keeps using you and hugs you so close!

[@StormAF]

I’m so very sorry…. I’m sure she is watching you and is just beaming with love and pride. Thank you for sharing, from the bottom of my heart. I keep feeling like that’s why I’m trying to start mine. Planting and growing has helped me in the past and I just feel like I need a much bigger scale than a few indoor and “some” outdoor planters… She lives on in your heart and your work. Love your channel and for keeping it honest and real. You do what you feel and deem best for your garden and for your heart. Much Love, XOXO ❤

[@ziptiefighter]

Thankyou for sharing. I found your social media content because of your input to Kevin Espiritu's Epic Gardening discussion on greenhouses with Chris (Fluent Garden). While I have yet to pull the trigger on a greenhouse, I appreciate occasional mentions of how that facet is going for you, Chris, and Kevin. And regarding the cardboard, I converted most of my Wisconsin (5b) front yard into native stuff...one side cardboard + chips and the other just chips. It's kind of a horse a piece. I did dig out and pound out the sod, which was a lot of work. But grass still did come back a little on the no-cardboard side. I get ~30" of precip/year here and have a generously clay substrate. I hadn't heard of the Haney test either. So thanks for that too.

[@AMAM-yf2om]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Know your friend will always a part of you. Your dedication in farming uplifts others and inspire others. Thank you for sharing your story and journey. Stay healthy and positive.

[@Blossomandbranch]

Thank you so much ❤️

[@summawub]

Lost my mom almost three years ago and the garden is my refuge and place of peace as well. I just discovered your channel. Thanks for your inspiration.

[@JameePalmer-t9g]

Please let me start with I’m very inspired by you and your beautiful garden ! Thank you for sharing with me and for bringing AWARENESS to Suicide …. I am a single Mother . My kids are now College Grads. Their Father ~my former husband chose to take his life when my children were 10 & 11. It’s a very challenging emotional and physical life lesson I wouldn’t ever want someone to experience. For those of us who have ~ it takes Courage to share our thoughts and feelings and put them into words. I appreciated your words. Thank you for teaching me 🌸

[@erbliving6741]

My heart aches for so many here... sending love to you for all the strength and endurance you carried on with.

[@GraceKelly946]

I want to thank you for sharing your personal story, I think a lot of people can relate to a loss that alters your life and life choices. It's truly powerful that you were able to move on from that in such a positive way. I learn so much from you in each video that I apply to my home garden in Denver. I have deep appreciation for anyone who attempts farming. I also have respect for the platform you've built. For all you haters out there, if you're not writing something that benefits the community then just don't. This online bullying culture is one of the saddest aspects of trying to build an online community. Please don't let it to deter you.

[@jwhite5396]

Have a beautiful day! ☀️🌻🐝

[@ButterflyBox89]

I lost a friend when I was 24 and she was 28 - she was volunteering in Uganda with children as a doctor and she suffered a fatal accident. I think about her all the time and I know she would have loved my work with flowers xx something about the earth helps.

[@chucknorrisbarbie3043]

I recently came to your channel and I'm drawn to your sincerity, work ethic and willingness to share. The very personal story you shared brought me to tears, not only for your tragic loss but how you've found such courage to work so hard for your joy. It saddens me that anyone would offer negativity to you. I find you only deserving of positivity and peace.

[@kimwands5670]

There seems to be many of us who have found healing from being in the garden. Lost my mother to a glioblastoma brain tumor. She lived 10wks from diagnosis. Grief becomes our companion in the journey of life but God is also our companion and we walk together through life and the garden. I love all your videos!!!💕

[@mom2acl]

You are doing wonderful work on your farm and by sharing your knowledge and ideas. I appreciate your careful, thoughtful methods. I live life and farm in similar ways. Keep going. Stop reading the comment section!

[@katebarrett1924]

Sharing your story - wow! thank you. Hearing how gardening and nature saved you during a dark time - something that needs to be talked out more - how therapeutic gardening is! And your knowledge about regenerative practices are making a difference here in Ohio in my yard in a subdivision and my cut flower garden so thank you!!

[@karenjohnson5506]

Thank you for sharing your story. So sorry for your loss , truly heartbreaking. God will use that story for the good of others. Love your creativity, content and the fact you are a ballerina too. Keep it up!! You are doing a great job!!

[@vickigonya9432]

I have a best friend from 7th grade as well. We are 66 and 65 now 😂. Your ballet pics are stunning!! And your friend is gorgeous!!! My daughter suffered from post partum depression also. We were able to catch it more quickly on the second child. I am terribly sorry for your loss of soooo much.😭 I tried ballet, grew up as a gymnast, swim team, track team, equestrian. But landed like a pregnant yak in ballet !! 😂😂😂😂 love your farm! I'm setting up the garden hard scape over winter and purchasing canning jars, dehydrator, etc. In spring I will be planting heirloom veggies,

[@Blossomandbranch]

Give her a squeeze for me! There are so many times I want to call her and talk about this memory or that. Thank you for sharing about your plans!! You have me cracking up with the pregnant yak analogy 😂😂

[@vickigonya9432]

@@Blossomandbranch truth!! Not graceful 🤣🤣🤣

[@mimlauj6869]

Thank you for everything! There will always be unsolicited comments when you put yourself out there. There are numerous ways to do the same thing, and you always have me thinking (for better or for worse, lol) keep it up the good work 😊

[@rosaleepruett3433]

What a sweet kind loving person you are❤ you touched my heart I love your story about r friend and understand r pain. So happy you are still here! God bless you and r family. They r lucky to have you in their life. I tried the cardboard and it wasn’t breaking down so I ripped it up. I have a problem with spraying. I can’t keep up and the poison ivy was bad last year. I have ruined parts of my garden. But what’s weird you said you are going back to growing in the dirt and I decided to do that this summer if I can. I love listening to r knowledge. Thank you for all you do. Looking forward to the next video.

[@lindseycasper7359]

You are absolutely amazing and bring a wonderful light to this world. Please don’t let the comments deter what you’re doing and the wonderful drive that you have and experiments that you do. This is life changing knowledge. I’ve been binging and taking notes of every one of your videos and the lessons you’ve learned along the way and are now sharing with us. You are making a difference and a better world. Love the nerdy soil/microbial life/rhizophagy lessons too. I’ve been soaking that all up. You explain it so well. Rant over, THANK YOU

[@Blossomandbranch]

Thank you friend, I so appreciate it ❤️

[@amyshaler7134]

Thank you for sharing your personal story to nurturing yourself through farming/caring for the earth. We need more people like you. I’m so sad about the loss of your beautiful friend and cried with you. I do think gardening is different for many based on your location. In my hot, humid, clay soil, cardboard breaks down within a couple weeks. I appreciate all of the ways you share to care for our garden and look forward to many more.

[@deniseb2571]

I'm sorry for your loss. And sorry that some people are so jealous that they feel the need to make stupid comments on a channel that very clearly demonstrates what really is a very healthy way to not only garden but also run a business, being a parent, a member in your community, a human. Don't let those assholes get to you. AND WOW, a professional ballerina?!!!! That's so cool! 🙏💖

[@lauragalenkamp454]

Bri, thank you so much for sharing and so sorry for your loss. I am starting a flower farm next year and I too feel the responsibility to leave the land better than I found it. I have learned so much from you and appreciate the time and effort you put into making these videos. You are a role model…don’t let the naysayers get you down!

[@mellfraze8112]

Thank you for the trigger warning ❤ death by suicide is so devastating & being able to have vulnerable conversations around it is so necessary. I'm glad that you continue to find peace & healing. I especially appreciate your content about soil health & ways to cover the soil because even though not everything about how you garden is useful or applicable to me in zone 9B Northern California, it gets me thinking & often starts me on my own rabbit trail of research.

[@suebar5177]

I hear you …the garden and nature have helped many of us with trauma and tragedy in our lives. Hug(❤)

[@LiseFracalossi]

When I lost my mom last year, being outside, in the woods or in the garden, was the best therapy, so I very much get that. I’m so sorry you got these negative comments; and I’m sorry that it so often sucks being a woman doing anything on the internet. I’ve learned so much from you, I appreciate your knowledge and thoughtfulness about how you garden, and I just wanted to let you know how much I value your work ❤

[@Annebb-rp3ol]

Thank you for being so brave and so vulnerable sharing such a hard and painful time. Prayers for you and your beautiful friend's family and those in the comments who lost loved ones to tragedy.

[@wildcoriander]

I’m sorry for your loss. ❤️ I would also like to close the loop at our place. There are invasive worms in our area and that is not something I want to bring in.

[@MOOREISH5]

You are such an inspiration ❤❤.. I had a tragic loss 8 yrs ago myself so I know about dark places. You are an incredible person and I love your farm!!! Not to mention you care about everyone and every living thing❤❤❤. Keep doing what you are doing. Coming from a 57 yr old I see nothing but good coming from you and your family. If you danced the way you garden I'm sure people miss your presence.. but I'm glad you are in the garden for my selfish self😂. But... I love everything about your channel ❤. I'm fairly new at gardening and I trust what you say just by looking at your farm. One word... BEAUTIFUL! ❤❤❤

[@eyrerosecottage1970]

Thank you for being so vulnerable and real.

[@uteberg4781]

I understand you so very well!!! 20 years ago my sister died from one day to the other, she was my closest friend too!!! 5 years later my father died, and I'm still missing both of them so much!!! My farm and my garden sometimes help me to look forward, but most times it's still hard, because I lost my 2 dearest friends. And: I'm also not using cardboard, because of the reasons you mentioned. It's your right to make your own decisions, don't mind others! I send you all my heartfelt sympathy and appreciation! You do a marvelous job as a mother, an organic farmer and a florist!! I always admire your bouquets and would be glad, if I once were able to do my farmfloristry at the same level! 💐🌻😍

[@erbliving6741]

May love surround you.

[@uteberg4781]

@@erbliving6741 💖🌻

[@asaliden4584]

I’m so sorry for your loss of your friend. 😢 I think we are a lot of people have their garden as a refuge, yes I have an enormous loss in my life and without my garden and my pets I wouldn’t be here. ❤

[@katiepeterson9761]

You are awesome! Don’t listen to those who are angry and don’t understand. Love, even in the garden, is always the answer!

[@nikierohrer2001]

Soil seems so underrated, so fragile but SO POWERFUL. I relate and am blessed like so many others by what you share. Thank you. It’s interesting, hopeful, and helpful. Also you seem like a very precious jewel of a soul. God bless you abundantly Brie.❤

[@VirginiaWaller-h7p]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your information. My heart also goes out to you.

[@lbann378]

Thank you for sharing your story, I lost my son 6 years ago and gardening saved me! Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us. Any way we can buy less and use less for our gardens is a win!

[@StormWarningMom]

Big hugs to you... the grief you have carried and still work through... I could feel it as you were talking about it. Mental health is so important, and I'm glad gardening has given you new purpose in life.

[@justinliu85]

Hey Brie, just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story and for all the great content you put on this channel. I admire your courage to be vulnerable in front of an audience, and I am *so* impressed with how much you get done all on your own. More power to you. I hope this community grows into the positive, thoughtful space it deserves to be.

[@amygriffith3598]

Sending hugs your way. 🥰❤️

[@shellykupfer3595]

I have been in the in the business for 20 years. Don't change, and don't let people who might be armchair gardeners get to you.

[@evelynsiu1892]

I've never commented before but want to say I love your videos! I always learn something from them. Don't let the haters get you down. You're doing a great thing for those of us who want to care for our land while harvesting its bounty. Thank you! ❤

[@TheFragrantBunch]

I found you through Epic Gardening, but stayed because you provide so much useful information for serious gardeners like me. Keep up the good work and don’t let negative comments get to you! Unfortunately the internet is not always the most positive space, but what you are doing is so important! 🌸

[@mmmmgoodlife4571]

You don’t owe anyone an explanation. I felt your pain while talking about your friend and I felt it while responding to that totally rude and ignorant comment about your soil life. You are wonderful and are providing us with so many great gardening tips and experiences. I especially like your content as I live in a similar climate/zone in Utah. You keep doing you! Thank you so much for what you do. Many of us also find joy, strength and meaning by gardening and being responsible with our land. Love love love your channel! ❤

[@FizahFlowerPatch]

We need more regenerative farm like yours. I am very thankful that I found your channel and has inspired me so much on how I garden.

[@katjo0812]

I am glad you were able to take your grief and turn it into something beautiful! I appreciate your educational videos! Prayers for love and peace for you and your precious family!

[@marie9244]

Omg why are people so cruel isn’t there enough heart ache in this world. These people must be so miserable in their life. I love your channel Brie and take a lot of your advice. I suffered from post natal depression with my first child and my doctor recommended to get out into the garden to help me. I am now again turning to my garden again after losing my husband to cancer at 57 years old. My garden is saving me again. I am so sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing your story. Hugs from Australia ❤

[@lifenotbills]

Heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing. She was a soulmate and sounds like a sister. Your story is insprational. ❤️

[@jennifersharp6624]

It is nice to get to know a bit more about your story. It's definitely a tear jerker. I'm so sorry for your loss. You are so courageous to have searched for life and beauty in this tragic story. My heart is with you and your loved ones.

[@NJGardengirl1961]

I'm so very sorry that you lost your friend. I also had post partum depression and was severely depressed and suicidal up until 23 years ago. That's when I found gardening. It has given me a reason to live, to get up every day and have something to look forward to every year. It has given me a new career path. It saved my life. I'm also sorry that a lot people have no manners and write comments that they would NEVER say to you in person. You are extremely competent and knowedgeable. I appreciate your hard work to help gardeners and farmers in their journey towards responsible and thoughtful soil care. I wish you well on your healing path. Thank you, very much.

[@triciadannyturner5111]

Sending you lots of love and gratitude for your good work in this world. Appreciate you and all you share here.❤

[@growyougirl]

Thank you so much for this heartfelt message and the great info and education around cardboard. Let's be kind people who write crappy comments. If you love the earth love the people giving so much back to it. I love hearing not only your story but those here who have found the earth to heal them. When my mom died it was my primary healer. 💚

[@MaryAnders-g7j]

Thank you for your amazing content Bri! I’m so sorry for your loss! Thank you for sharing your knowledge with the world! I have learned so much from you and am forever grateful!

[@NeverQuitEver]

Dear sister thank you for the candid discussion and sharing such a difficult time for you. I also appreciate that you didn’t take out your pauses for emotion and reflection. So many do. About the complainers, “F” them and there judgement.. you do what’s best for you and yours. Stay strong and Never Quit Ever.