FRYday Chili Mac Loaded Fries! Being a surface level person & wanting to change that.

[@Eaze1242]

Some people are talkers and some are listeners, the world needs both and you may be a listener. Don’t stress about changing who you are. People who are meant to be in your life will stay and those that aren’t won’t.

[@siennamiel-wb7nl]

I don’t think this is fair listening but having nothing to say when someone is talking to you is not a normal or validating friendship experience

[@EatwithMamaB]

I think you speak very well, that’s actually why I like watching you bc the way you speak is therapeutic

[@bellasbites1111]

Oh thank you !

[@Jesse.D33]

Same!!!

[@ClassyJohn]

Hi Bella, thank you for being vulnerable by sharing this info. I think thats really great and a step in the right direction of being more real to yourself. I know it sucks to feel this way and I can relate as a 29 Y/O who is currently doing a lot of self-exploration. Here is what I have to share based on what you've described (and please take it with a grain of salt as I don't know you or your life): 1. To me, it sounds like a self-confidence/esteem issue around how you view yourself. It sounds like you don't full understand the reason behind why you don't like to talk about yourself and why you can't talk, just for the sake of expressing yourself. I mean to me, you've expressed yourself perfectly in this video. You are already eloquent just the way you are but maybe you don't fully understand yourself yet. 2. You mentioned that your boyfriend made a comment that you felt hurtful about, even though you thought it was not intentionally harmful. Okay, then why did you feel hurt about it? Can you recall a situation in the past, maybe in your childhood, where you felt these negative feelings? Explore that. Generally speaking, insecurities stem from somewhere, usually childhood, where we saw a situation, interpreted it one way, and developed beliefs about the world/ourselves based on that interpretation. Introspection and reframing those beliefs help with this. 3. Do you compare yourself often to others? If not, then why do you need to be "smart" to be speak eloquently? I don't think that learning more is sufficient to achieve those goals you've described. Being able to speak and be yourself earnestly come from self-confidence and self-esteem. 4. If you haven't already, consider seeing a therapist. Therapy is a tool to improve your mental health and develop your own tools to become the best version of yourself. Don't believe people when they say that therapy is only for ill people. Also, I do not suggest that you use your mother-in-law as your therapist, unless you're comfortable with that. Its better, in my opinion, to use a 3rd party person who has no affiliation to your personal life. 5. Consider spending more time alone in nature and meditating, if you don't already. These are tools to help you better understand yourself. Bella, I hope the above advice can help you somehow and also, the fact that you've already acknowledged your situation and want to do something to improve it shows me that you are SMART and CAPABLE.

[@bellasbites1111]

Thanks so much for your input. I will definitely dive deeper into this

[@ClassyJohn]

@@bellasbites1111 no worries, you got this!

[@CreCravings]

Bella, you’re smart - I know this was years ago but as soon as you said it I thought of you being adopted. That can be a big wound that affects self esteem. Thanks for sharing. ❤❤

[@itsjoyish]

This is so relatable. I couldn’t really figure out how to explain what’s going on in my head - thinking I’m bad at conversations and even the detail of asking myself in my mind about what to say and almost panicking. Second guessing knowledge, thinking about factors that could be the reason.. wow. Has it gotten better for you since this video?

[@BrooklynnTae32]

Congratulations love! 💗 Little side note, girllll I am the same way & everyone I’m around, are surface level people. Don’t feel self conscious, your smart, your beautiful, you have an amazing personality & give off great vibes! Don’t over think it, just ride the waves boo. ❤️ #FRYday 🤪

[@bellasbites1111]

Thanks so much 🫶🫶

[@Jesse.D33]

I had a friend like this… I think, I can’t say for sure. But we had so much fun in person but it was kind of surface level, we would talk about relationships and she let me know about some tea personal things but I really had to dig and gain her trust I think was part of that. But now that we don’t work together it’s just me messaging and not getting a ton of responses. I think that part of it is if you don’t have much going on day to day it’s hard to have something to talk about too. I love to get into deep conversations too but when you’re in like just the day to day or same shit different day kind of routine.. a good conversation can be hard to keep going. But I think what can help is like you said, read, learn, watch interesting things and then recommend it to friends or family and then you can talk about that. My wife and I talk for hours about like the universe, religion, politics, shows we watch… even silly social media posts. I’d practice with your fiancé and family. But I think you’re really fun to listen to but maybe you have a bit of shyness or like “stage fright” when around others? Who knows but I don’t think you’re dumb!!! ❤

[@shak8824]

you spoke really well in this video and communicated very eloquently. i always watch your videos on tiktok as well and i enjoy hearing you talk. you are smart and i think maybe you just may be more shy or insecure to share you ideas. also when you do speak to others, don’t think about the “right” thing to say or anything like that, just speak what’s on your mind.

[@bellasbites1111]

Thank you!

[@paulasays3116]

First of all, congrats on the engagement!! 🎉 So happy for you! Second, your vulnerability here really resonated with me. I used to feel the same way - thinking that I’m unable to hold a conversation while everyone around me was able to do it effortlessly. Since starting therapy, I’ve learned that I subconsciously believe that I have nothing worthy of sharing and that my opinion doesn’t matter. For me it comes from childhood trauma. Since I’ve been healing from my trauma, my confidence and ability to hold meaningful conversations has really changed for the better. ❤

[@bellasbites1111]

Interesting! Thanks for this input 💕

[@christinat4732]

I love listening to you talk, i love your Channel 🤍 you are such a beauty!

[@marymoreno1292]

I think I come across as surface level because I’m painfully shy, I can definitely be a “talker” but find myself over talking out of nervousness 🫣 but in my thoughts I am deep as the ocean 🌊 lol

[@GagandeepKaur-ld9eh]

I actually think that sometimes people think that this person is a " surface level person" but in reality some people just like to mind their own business, and don't like getting in other's business. They like to protect their peace and don't want to be involved in any sort of drama. For example, I am a great listener if someone wants to share something with me they can feel free too, but in my head I don't always give feedback because I believe that sometimes it's better to just let the person talk and let things off their chest, and if they want any feedback from me of course I will give it.

[@bellasbites1111]

True. I like this take

[@erikastrausser3924]

Love your shirttt!!!🥰🫶🏻 and congrats on the engagement pretty!!!🥳

[@bellasbites1111]

Thank you!!💕

[@1jazzyphae]

Congrats!!!! I can't wait to see your ring!!!! I'm an empath so I naturally ask deep questions. I don't have any friends. Because I find most people are surface level and I don't think most people genuinely care. And that's ok. Not everyone has to be deep. If you're happy and not hurting others and can still maintain a friendship then it is what it is. I feel like logically if you don't like sharing you wouldn't ask deep nosy questions lol

[@bellasbites1111]

Thanks for this!🫶

[@1jazzyphae]

@@bellasbites1111 you're welcome

[@thewritefont9708]

You're so pretty and I liked you right away for your realness! You have depth unlike most tbh even though you may not be able to show it always.

[@bellasbites1111]

Thank you 💕

[@southernmomma8959]

Congratulations on the engagement! Prayers and best wishes for your future!

[@bellasbites1111]

Thank you!

[@southernmomma8959]

Im sorry you're feeling down about this. Of course, you should do whatever to make you feel better. But it sounds like you're more introverted. Which is not a bad thing. You are probably a better listener than other people. You are probably very empathetic and caring and respectful of others opinions and choices. This is not bad.

[@bellasbites1111]

Thanks for this💕💕

[@Gheyoka_33]

You are perfect just the way you are 💫

[@Mamakarkade]

I wanted to suggested doing throat chakra opening exercises. I used to be the same way and there’s NOTHING wrong with it but being able to create deeper connections Is a plus of meaningful conversations

[@bellasbites1111]

Ohhhh okay. I will look into that 💕

[@maymadison3620]

Also scratch all that!! I love your conversations with us! I don't think you're a bad communicator, but maybe socializing isn't your jam and that's okay

[@ClassyJohn]

this is a really chill mukbang…instant follow

[@bellasbites1111]

Yay💕

[@Miraculouš99862]

I just realized I m a surface level person thx to you . I never thought of myself as such never ask questions even if i asked its not the right questions and don't hv a friends maybe you are right we aren't smart LOL but i doubt that 😅 🤷 .And CONGRATULATIONS 🎊 for your engagement 💍

[@bellasbites1111]

Thank you! We’re definitely not dumb! Lol 🫶

[@sherellefrancis3424]

Congratulations hun 💖

[@bellasbites1111]

Thanks! 💕

[@jenniferlarrimore712]

I am the very same way. I always say, if the conversation goes beyond basic pleasantries ( how's your family? How's your job... the weather)....I completely shut down...I just can't think of anything to verbally contribute. And like you, the rest of my family are great at it...which is why I think I'm not. Because I never had to be. I just let them chat away, and I would be beside them nodding my head. Unfortunately it stuck.😂

[@bellasbites1111]

Right😂 well I know I’m not alone now!

[@maymadison3620]

Read books. They will reveal a lot about you to YOU! They will help you see the world and see within yourself. You're an intelligent person and you got wisdom worth sharing and bringing to the surface!

[@hc8214]

OMG CONGRATS!! 💕✨💍

[@bellasbites1111]

Thanks! 💕

[@Kingdrion]

Another BANGER 💥🔥

[@Kingdrion]

Congratulations on the engagement 🎉

[@bellasbites1111]

Thank you!

[@-.-smile]

What’s Bella without some loaded fries?! 😂

[@bellasbites1111]

Duh😏

[@vikkix4397]

You probably struggle to converse, because you’ve spent your life around people that do that/start that for you. Its very easy to sink into the background when others are happy to stand out, wether vocally or otherwise. X

[@vikkix4397]

Try a different group of people. Try to stand out. You’ve nothing to lose. Xx

[@bellasbites1111]

That’s right. Thanks for the input!

[@estieneethling5586]

Luv your hair Luv watching from South Africa 💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋

[@bellasbites1111]

💕

[@amcnxd]

Omg， engaged 💍 😍 thats so cuuteeeee congratulations

[@bellasbites1111]

Thank you! 💕

[@kayseejacobs1062]

First of all I’m impressed you ate all that!!! Seriously lol. Second I think you are beautiful inside and out and please don’t feel bad about yourself. Everyone is different. I think it sounds like you’re more of an introvert and maybe it’s more difficult to talk about your feelings and like emotional stuff?? I’m both extrovert and introvert but fall more extroverted and I’m very empathetic and I like deep conversations as well as a people pleaser and fixer!! There’s always pros and cons to a personality but it makes you who you are baby girl!! Be proud and maybe just try to engage more in conversations and make people feel like you care by engaging more. You’re not dumb at all. Your personality just doesn’t allow you to feel as if you are knowledgeable to speak on things because you process things internally instead of externally…. Does that make any sense lol!?? Maybe I’m all wrong!!

[@bellasbites1111]

Makes a lot of sense! Thanks so much for your input! Definitely will take it all in🫶

[@roxymoore5538]

I came from tik tok and I saw that you’re a Scorpio. Idk if you believe in horoscopes but this is very Scorpio coded. It’s not that we don’t care but we choose not to say much and listen more. We also don’t like to divulge too much information about ourselves unless we know we can trust them. As I’ve gotten older I’ve been more social and open but you just have to find your people that you feel comfortable with.

[@jeffreyalexander1568]

My son has that shirt 😅

[@4lifesydney]

You’re not a talker babe! And there’s nothing wrong with that. Some people are just quiet and speak when it matters. I’m sure you talk a lot to your fiancé, the person you’re probably most comfortable with.

[@bellasbites1111]

🫶🫶

[@PDWHardy]

Congrats on your engagement! So happy for you! Just my opinion, but I feel like if you were really a surface level person, you wouldn't have a KZbin channel where you do share things about yourself (e.g., Mormon upbringing, being adopted, etc.) You sound like an extreme introvert in person, but you seemingly express your extroversion on KZbin. Don't ever think you're not smart. Educating yourself on different things is great, but don't feel like you're lacking intelligence.

[@bellasbites1111]

Thank you for this 💕🫶

[@PDWHardy]

@@bellasbites1111 💕

[@staceyhelms9423]

If you find yourself half-listening to or constantly mentally drifting away from personal conversations, it’s possible you have “Female Inattentive ADHD. It’s a thing and it may explain a lot.

[@bellasbites1111]

Interesting

[@austinsw15]

🤤🤤🤤

[@siennamiel-wb7nl]

Do you have Autism after watching this I’m neurodivergent you may benefit from seeking some psychological advice that can lead to a diagnosis if you do have autism