Funny Police Sketches

Classic sketches about the police from Not the Nine o' Clock News and Alas Smith and Jones

[@Rayfaedundee]

Classic Not the Nine O’clock news comedy . Bring back those days

[@alanhargreaves-thevoiceofr2361]

yes ..british days . . .pre african-influence !

[@robbieallan6522]

Absolutely agree proper comedy gold 👌

[@arturs2436]

i believe this is from a posterior series"Alas Smith and Jones"

[@saracenseven8314]

Why oh why have we lost this comedy genre? British humour at its best when we take the piss out of our selves.

[@Pooknottin]

Sketch shows and sitcoms aren't as cheap to make as quiz coms. That's it really.

[@krisbassett4636]

Think we’d upset to many people.

[@hoffer54]

@@krisbassett4636 And that's a bad thing?

[@seymourskinner2533]

Still alive and well. Maybe try looking instead of complaining?

[@seymourskinner2533]

Kris Bassett the only people upset are you fragile petals constantly saying people are upset

[@user-yh7cl9kj8k]

Sòooo, funny. These two together were brilliant! Their face expressions deserve an Oscar on their own😂😂😂❤

[@martm216]

Love Griff's facial expressions.

[@TheModernHermeticist]

"depends on how many officers we have on duty" - top kek.

[@fewerbeansplease]

Didn't think this was comedy at first. Thought it was a documentary on the police...made perfect sense.

[@patagualianmostly7437]

May I reword your comment? "Thought it was a documentary of the state of the current Police Service."

[@daffyduk77]

It's what's known as a drama-documentary

[@juliebone4929]

​@@patagualianmostly7437 with all due respect I don't think much has changed.

[@robbieallan6522]

That's a good one makes sense!! which is something police cannot manage

[@HRJ1411]

Brilliant!! Remember when this was first broadcast - got in such trouble over the years in business meetings, when asked, if there are any questions - ". . . what is the Capital of France?"

[@Tbonyandsteak]

The answer:"F"

[@rita8684]

ultra funny....your crazy lol.......thats funny.........

[@paulmcdade9835]

“Coughing without due care and attention” well that is a charge that can be brought today

[@starcitizen890j5]

11:06

[@alanoxford6219]

the New World Order is here....

[@AbrahamAlamzany]

Phlegmic Bodily Harm

[@rickb.4168]

Funny, but wrong sketch.

[@johndejure9849]

and how do you account for yourself and pc smith putting 83 rounds of ammunition into the back of winston brown ? thats all we had sir !! .

[@jjharson7344]

Squeezing a malteser..... cracked me up.....

[@ricklangley3438]

That staring up at an angle thing that Griff Rhys Jones does kills me very time.

[@johndejong8822]

So brilliant, and always feel sad watching these skits because of Mel's passing.

[@williamroberto6980]

i dont mean to be offtopic but does someone know of a method to log back into an Instagram account?? I stupidly forgot the password. I appreciate any assistance you can give me!

[@keenanjimmy8997]

@William Roberto instablaster :)

[@topcat4759]

Agreed. Also liked him in "Colins Sandwich".

[@jamie1234591]

I'm off to the Bengazi to park my breakfast!

[@HowardNorris-gh1jw]

Great first sketch there from Mel and Griff - practically a documentary regarding the police.

[@mummyd1990]

Absolutely brilliant loved watching this back in the day.

[@willmoore7582]

Pure gold. As a teenager this was the freshest comedy I had seen in a long time. Rowan Atkinson et al were a classic recipe re comedy..

[@GeeGee3374]

Look we couldn't nab him Why not? Because he's a mason 😂😂

[@iVan123]

i don't get it can you explain? thanks

[@walterrizotto8668]

@@iVan123 The complete, gramatically correct, non-colloquial answer would be: "Because he's a Freemason".

[@mcata3625]

@@iVan123 freemasonic brotherhood, the devil worshippers, have infiltrated every level of society are free to commit any crime and get away with it.

[@susanpeacock216]

Watching from across the Pond. ❣️🤣

[@evilrobottolhurst]

1:24 What's the capital of France? 1:48 We have introduced new squad cars that make the *American* type of noise... Classic!

[@Cheezsoup]

Pity it ends so abruptly the 'punchline' to that final sketch was that Savage got offered a job in the SPG (Special Patrol Group)

[@Catubrannos]

I figured it was headed in that direction, typical humour of the time.

[@davekp6773]

Now renamed the Territorial Support Group recently famed for harassing a journalist performing his duty.

[@animaltvi9515]

And then stood on a hedgehog

[@josephriley4460]

Nice to see Nicholas Ball (Hazell)again. Hazell was a great series!

[@martm216]

Ah! I thought it was Patrick Mower!

[@mikeos1]

It was. Shown again recently on talking pictures tv but the sounds as so muffled I had to give up on it.

[@josephriley4460]

mikeos1. Yes I’ve been watching it too. Good plots but the quality of film is not good. Talking Pictures is an interesting channel. BTW Patrick Mower is on Special Branch with George Sewell at the moment.

[@mikeos1]

@@josephriley4460 It's a pity that the channel doesn't have subtitles. I could often use them.

[@kevwoodward648]

It was! Part written by Terry Venables. Great theme song also.

[@stevienico452]

Its like looking into a crystal ball, how could we have ever known that some of what has made up these sketches 30+ years on would actually reflect true policing Today.

[@stopthecrazyguy9948]

It reflected actual policing 30+++++ years ago. This is nothing new.

[@thomasscott4832]

One of my favourite sketches of all time!

[@christor2907]

This is amazing. Why doesn't anybody do sketch comedy like this now.

[@unclegreybeard3969]

Simple, political correctness has a strangled every field of humour to the point that comics have next to no material left to work with.

[@alanrix5344]

No truer words were ever spoken

[@topcat4759]

As per previous comment the crazy PC world of today has restricted script writers with virtually nothing to base a show, especially for a show that can be broadcast on prime time tv. Watch the "PC Savage" sketch from this show. Sadly not a cat in hells chance of broadcasting that these days.

[@jeremymerrifield7244]

@@unclegreybeard3969 And yet there are thousands of comedians making a good living today. I think Uncle is talking rubbish

[@baboo423]

No talent available

[@noblemann4898]

I remember watching this when i was 9 or 10. Where the bloody hell have the years gone?

[@halvaman3]

I haven't laughed this much in a long time. Mel Smith was the best.

[@mikereger1186]

T-34 - RIP Mel. We’ll always have Wilt.

[@RB747domme]

I absolutely agree, but please don't under value Griff. He co-writes many of the skits. Together they were the funniest thing on TV.

[@halvaman3]

@@RB747domme Of course Griff you were brilliant too.

[@robbieallan6522]

Did you like the rhyming slang? That's my favourite

[@tedbutler1761]

This so our police force today

[@Gordon669]

Mel Smith ...THE most under-rated comedian of all time. RIP Mel

[@Turrican60]

NOT by us Brits.

[@ami3214]

Definitely not underrated. In the 80s and 90s had us rolling in our sofa’s.

[@Phoenix_cataclysm_in_2040]

Albino from the Pit of Despair.

[@markrae1317]

@@Phoenix_cataclysm_in_2040 Utter garbage! How many people do you actually know who don't rate Mel Smith?

[@Phoenix_cataclysm_in_2040]

@@markrae1317 You've lost me here, man. What is utter garbage?

[@jaymacgee_A_Bawbag_Blethering]

I was praying the Winston Codogo one was in it , it’s pure class and was seriously indicative of the time ! Hysterical 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿👍😆

[@HSMiyamoto]

The first sketch is fantastic satire!

[@bermudarailway]

It's not a satire ,it's a documentary !

[@stevegarrod4764]

Depends on how many men are available! Classic!

[@greatbriton8425]

When he said,"Ladies and gentlemen, the capital of France is" I fully expected him to say "F"

[@paulshri8609]

Never ceases to amaze that these comedians could manage to keep straight faces, knowing what they were doing would make people almost black out through laughing too hard.😂😂😂classics deserve to be watched over and over again. RIP Mel Smith.

[@MrDavey2010]

This is so prophetic as life is now in April 2020 in the UK.

[@plumberman4u]

Or Aug 2021 after lockdown

[@rayhunt3244]

leave it out son,I`ve sausaged a few gregorys in my time but I`m no tealeaf.

[@waltjacob3776]

This could quite easily be an interview with the senior police officers in charge of the Rotherham abuse case. There incompetence is all there to see.

[@nigelgreenwood9010]

Think this is a parody of the Yorkshire ripper case.

[@MrDaiseymay]

And THAT isn't a joke, but bang on.

[@johndejure9849]

hand shakers ! rotten to the core , truth will out to those satanic gits.

[@Muckylittleme]

Never put down to incompetence that which can be explained by corruption and that goes double for the Gov.

[@jamesbarbour8400]

Not necessarily incompetance, they've been told to turn a blind eye.....

[@anigov]

"What is the capital of France? I'm sorry,I'll have to ask the experts" "sir this man's no partridge,he's a tablecloth"

[@JonSmith-cx7gr]

Both Mel and Griff could really act a part. Im surprised Griff didnt do more serious acting.

[@brianjones2899]

Constable Savage was at Trafalgar Square today.

[@jakethekipper]

Savage has since been promoted to position of Met Chief.

[@eddiekingham]

Totally brilliant sketch. Full on cockney, and then some. Luv it.

[@italktoomuch6442]

The second sketch is a perfect parody of Operation Countryman.

[@martynlewis9020]

Used to illicitly watch this in my bedroom on a small black and white TV I had in my bedroom during my last couple of years at school. Going to school next day and talking and laughing about the sketches with my mates. Good times 😅

[@HideousConformity]

"Depends how many men are available..."

[@gbonkers666]

He's a Mason!

[@MrDaiseymay]

they all are---if you wanna move up the tree

[@souljastation5463]

@@MrDaiseymay that's the joke

[@Onkarr]

An episode yesterday of only fools and horses mentioned the masons too.... when he realised Raquel is a stripper lol

[@mfollett3613]

These sketches were from the satirical comedy programme noNot the 9 o'clock news which ended between 1979 and 1982 on BBC2 in UK.

[@sararichmond7240]

Of course, with the current Covid lock-down and policing of the streets, the 'coughing without due care and attention' reference is now no longer a joke... cough....

[@bennyisrael2967]

i think this is ripping the piss out of the Yorkshire Ripper case at the time

[@GordonHeaney]

@fifthof Other way round, Ripper was active in mid-late 70's, this sketch was a few years after he was jailed.

[@polyorchid528]

The capital of France is the letter F.

[@martm216]

'Depends how many men are available . . .' Griff breaks in - 'Play the tape.'

[@Schooner77]

Looking back then, Nouts changed, no matter wherever you are in the World

[@SaltyReward]

Hilarious. Miss you, Mel.

[@JPB-zu6wd]

Cressida Dick this is how you and yr police force work today. Mel must have known this would happen. RIP Mel

[@jota3732]

Coppers don’t look like this anymore, they look more like a Swiss Army Knifes.

[@patagualianmostly7437]

Ineffective Swiss army knives at that. But that's what you get when you re-assign the Police to being social workers.

[@animaltvi9515]

I was looking at all the crap they have to carry. Whilst having a chat with Mr plod

[@markhughes8314]

"Without due care and attention" lol. Now its reality. Bit like when Alan Partridge was desperately thinking of new shows for tv and suggested "Cooking in prison"! Years down the road, step forward Gordon Ramsey!

[@Mac-sb5lj]

Awe..... Rest in Paradise 🙏 Mel. Miss your sense of fun so much. 😢

[@motle710]

why the hedgehog? because I love trucking!

[@timewalker6654]

if you dnt like trucking.........

[@ollietaylor3748]

@@timewalker6654 tough luck

[@Jock609]

Sorry sir, is this your pet hedgehog?

[@motle710]

@@Jock609 kzbin.info/www/bejne/rWrPnnamft-bfNE

[@agentsmakem424]

Isn’t it funny how these sketches way back then, actually predicted the future of the British police force today 😞

[@anthonymarsh4956]

They didn’t, or the rapist would have been the cop

[@JamesThomas-zl9er]

@@anthonymarsh4956 ooof, but funny 😂

[@pseudonayme7717]

They were every bit as bad back then too. They just got away with it more in the past.

[@robertknight5429]

It was even more true in those days!

[@thearmchairspacemanOG]

how fucking DENSE are you? .. ''predicted'' wow.. FUCK OFF you gormless arsehole. . they done it THEN .. ABOUT *THEN* moron.

[@jakubkrcma]

OK, call me hedgehawk from now on, please... :-)))

[@mickd6942]

Coughing without due care and attention is a thing in 2020

[@daisyhoward5472]

All standard police practice today.

[@man-of-the-world]

Constable Savage " He's a villain' classic!

[@charlesfu33]

Truly amazing!

[@stephencook4694]

This is so true lol 😂 how the police 👮‍♀️ give press conference lol 😂

[@joannelivingstone6656]

I had a hard bubble this raiding my mufflers. takes me back to my kipper days.

[@eldermachado343]

Absolutely hilarious!

[@dimensional18]

These are so FUNNNNY!

[@robbieallan6522]

Arr Smith n Jones what a great comedy duo, I love the rhyming slang if you're from London you'd still have trouble understanding most, I was in the jam jar and I lmfao...

[@chadchadman5056]

Sums our police up rather well I think !

[@1fires1]

very realistic sketches. :)

[@JohnLloydScharf]

+clownage123 ████ ████

[@rickb.4168]

Savage is sublime

[@Sjmby95]

So funny that it was just underrated

[@captainblue8258]

3:10 that was WHAM!

[@garrick3727]

Although the Constable Savage sketch is probably one of the best and most popular comedy sketches of all time (and weirdly cut short here), the cockney criminal/police sketch is one of my favorites. I'm not cockney, but I've seen The Sweeney enough to understand most of what they are saying, but the beauty of it is that I cannot tell if they are making some of it up or whether it is 100% genuine - it's certainly 90% genuine. Unfortunately the punchline for the sketch isn't that great, otherwise it would be a classic.

[@topcat4759]

Just watched the PC Savage sketch in full on another channel. My favourite by a mile. An absolute scream at school the next day. The Sweeney an also must watch back in those days.With the current crime rate we could do with at least a thousand PC Savage's and Reagan and Carter in charge on the streets to sort it all out. LOL😃😃😃😃

[@momeara7482]

'90% genuine'? You're having a giraffe!

[@janeokeeffe5297]

This is brilliant 🤣🤣🤣

[@kevwoodward648]

Sheer quality.

[@autumnleaf3667]

Rowan Atkinson!

[@timewalker6654]

yeah they are brother in arms

[@kamrankhan-lj1ng]

better than Rowan.

[@Ulfnarr]

mel smith was really some kind of comedian

[@peregrinemccauley6615]

I had a splitting headache before watching this . Now I feel fine . I miss British comedy . The do gooders have consigned said phenomenon , to the waste bin of history .

[@seymourskinner2533]

Peregrine McCauley oh rubbish. Why does someone always have to have a sook about “ Oh my pc has killed something”. Show me where English comedy had died. It still produces some of the best in the world now. Just because you’re stuck in the past.

[@Britonbear]

@@seymourskinner2533 It's extremely tiresome.

[@peregrinemccauley6615]

@@seymourskinner2533 That's true . It's alive and well , if you're anything to go by . There's hope yet .

[@alanhargreaves-thevoiceofr2361]

err . . .british comedy is finished . . now its all immigrant comedy ..fine..if you are immigrant ...but not humorous at all if you are native-british.... not at all . . . !!!

[@wudangmtn]

Brilliant!

[@ewetoo]

The last one is one of my all-time favourite sketches, just a pity the punchline was lost.

[@suffolksettler5106]

yep the punchline was the clincher - shame its missed off as its prpably still true

[@vink6163]

What was the punchline?

[@CycolacFan]

@@vink6163 probably something like because he’s so racist they’re promoting him to CID, or whatever division of the police was most in the news that month.

[@momeara7482]

@@CycolacFan Transferred to the SPG

[@pOpCoRn0531]

3:05 the original Rick-Roll😂

[@iainv4092]

Coughing without due care and attention-Prob relevant for 2021

[@terrywilkinson9653]

This is so now. Brilliant.

[@mickd6942]

The late great mel smith RIP

[@garyhiggins6718]

Bloody Marvellous! 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😪😪😪

[@romeyburgin7221]

Love British humor!

[@adriankaill9413]

You'd love it more of you spelt it properly...humour

[@Goatcha_M]

The Hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

[@hobied62]

Coughing without due care and attention!

[@thecraziestcanuck]

I tell ya, Comic genius.....🤣

[@colinnewmarch1106]

Another series that couldn't be made today

[@harmjansen5373]

I love this

[@badgersalesman5595]

British POLICE FARCE 😂😂

[@RENEVERTIO3767]

A classic......

[@MrPomdownunder]

Smith Jones and the great Nicholas Ball !

[@orionstar6747]

Good ol TV! Miss Smith & Jones show. :-(

[@bawns9416]

Sums up the current police force

[@MrUndersolo]

Interesting thing is that Thatcher came to power in 1979 and one of the first things she did was raise the salary of police officers. And 'NTNN' started in the same year. Interesting how things dovetail...

[@pancholom]

12:03 ...against the same man! 😂😂😂😂

[@judgedeath7193]

The first sketch could be updated with the World Health Organization coming up with the Covid-19 name!

[@varamyrz2920]

Last sketch was the best and most widely remembered. Why did you cut it short?

[@iqi616]

Only old farts like me can remember who the SPG were!

[@garrick3727]

@@iqi616 True, but most people would understand the idea - that he was being "promoted" in some fashion. I think is was just a very clumsy edit.

[@angelaburrow8114]

@@iqi616 Fans of The Exploited remember them because of their song "SPG".

[@MattDavis_BeechingsGhosts]

It would also give context to the references to hedgehog

[@susansherlock7474]

Special Patrol Group...look it up...

[@darrinmcneill534]

One word legends