Gabor Maté and Gordon Neufeld - Making Room for Anger

[@jakeself1911]

I think I’m beginning to understand why I turned out so quiet, “nice”, and spineless. My mom instructed me to ignore my older brothers whenever they’d tease me, so I learned to bottle up my frustration, anger, and discomfort. If I didn’t understand her reasoning for parental decisions and questioned her, she’d get frustrated and eventually tell me to be quiet, instead of making the effort to properly explain her reasoning. I’d also get spanked outside if I got a bit too loud indoors.

[@1991jdclark]

💔

[@MaryLopez-kb7xp]

I can relate

[@vaishalivaidya7978]

So true...if we cannot accept something in ourselves, we cannot accept something in the other

[@zion367]

I believe this to be true, but to what extend? Screaming, cussing, destroying things? If i can't accept a liar, does that mean i have to become one to accept it?.

[@ds4379]

@@zion367 No. You figure out, why someone is lying and you compassionately confront them with curiosity. In other words you inquire beneath the behavior of the person.

[@ds4379]

@@zion367The starting point is with yourself here. If you have a problem, you can not accept the problem in your own kids. You are describing a problem you supposedly don't have. So it does not make sense in this scenario.

[@zion367]

@@ds4379 interesting that you responded to me today, because i just encountered another situation where someone i know lied about his age. So silly because yesterday i made a pic from his driverslicense so today when i looked at it i saw that he lied. I stayed calm and asked him if it is correct that is gonna 41 now. Then he flat out lied and said 40 and when i explained him that going by his birth date on the car he is 41, he said something like.... ow well, and stayed pretty vague. I asked him if he have problems getting older and he said; "no" and explained it really funny. When i get older, everybody get older my kids also getting older so i do not mind. The thing is then usually when you question a liar, even when it is dont with curiosity and compassion, they continue to lie until they are totally with their back on the wall and even then they still try to escape it. Its so pointless because this means you can not trust anything such person is saying.... But i did manage to not become so triggered by it, so thats a big improvement.

[@ds4379]

@@zion367 Hehe, yea thats pretty interesting. But yeah, i would say you did well by calling them out, without being triggered or aggressive. The problem is with the liar at that point. I used to lie a lot, because i learned from an early age that lying could get me out of trouble from my parents. But a liar can't be trusted, as you said, and i am glad to say that today i thankfully have learned to be honest. So change is possible ♡

[@silverdove88]

Thank you for the wisdom! Thank you to all healers and cycle breakers in your attempt to create a better start for the next generation than you had. I see your intentions and efforts - it is what keeps me going in the toughest stretches.

[@mervijaakola1749]

Thank you for the wisdom.

[@thesoundpurist]

Woah, that guy should have a talk with Wim Hof(20 below stuff), especially when you said in an interview that the autonomic nervous system can't be controlled

[@KYIRIM]

Thank u

[@staceylee5372]

I believe a good term to use for these so-called negative emotions might be defensive emotions

[@thesoundpurist]

Can't connect with the old guy, I don't know why

[@georgemulford2910]

maybe hes making you confront repressed emotions you don't want to deal with? There are longer and better videos with Gabor Mate

[@puppiestgirl]

resistance