Gay Activist Comes Out to Parents Before the Local News Does It for Him.

[@michaelrg3836]

For parents who don't suspect we're gay there is a huge amount of difficult reading and social adjustments to do to reprogram themselves. Give them time.

[@RayMcKinnon2014]

They can and should take all of the time that they need. And that doesn't mean we must share that space with them, as they're processing, if it's harmful to us.

[@ATLcentury334]

The parents always know............. before they’re told. My folks forced me to come out. I expected it would go better than it did. I was given 30 minutes to pack what I wanted, leave house and car keys on the table, and get OUT. I still remember what it felt like, walking down the street in the dark, to a pay phone to call my boyfriend. We had a bumpy several years. Once when my mother was having an especially bitchy day, toward me, I looked at her and said. “Im sorry you’re having a rough time. I’ve had to deal with this for 21 years, and I’ve accepted it. I’m still the son you’ve always thought of as loving, thoughtful, and an honest person. Now it’s your turn to deal, and I can’t help”. I walked out. A year or so later a family party was approaching. I hadn’t rsvp’d yet. My mother asked if I planned on attending. At that point I was over being treated like the family odd ball. I told her as long as I could bring who I was dating at the time, like everyone else who wasn’t married in the family with their dates, I would attend. But if the answer was no, I wouldn’t attend anymore family occasions. It took about a week, she called me and said I was welcome to bring my boyfriend. I was dating an executive from General Motors who was in his early 30’s. Despite the awkwardness when we first walked in, the evening went well. A year later when my b.f. accepted a job out of state, my mother wanted to take us to dinner and say goodbye to him. A few years later I met someone who eventually became my husband. When our 10th anniversary was approaching, my mother asked us over for dinner. She said that night that she and my dad would like to take us on a cruise to celebrate. I was a little nervous, but overcame it the second night of the cruise when my b.f. rolled in after 2. I asked him where had he been? “Your mom and I closed down the piano bar a few minutes ago. We had a great time”. I wish she had been there the day we were married, but she had passed away the year before. Next month we celebrate our 32nd anniversary. I think she would have been very proud.

[@dianamayfield5615]

I can't imagine that his parents didn't know. Our family has a number of gay members. My mom's male cousin, my aunt (she and her partner, whom I refer to also as my Aunt, have been together for 60 years), my male cousin (his partner of 35 years died recently), and my niece (married in a big formal wedding 3 years ago). 3 generations. This was never discussed in the family, it was just natural and known. All have been loved and accepted. When my best friend's son was 8, she and I both knew he was gay. He didn't officially come out til he was around 15 and his dad had a hard time with it. He was a jerk anyway. No one was upset when she booted him to the curb. How can you fault a person because they love someone?

[@isaiahyoungbrown]

He is more forgiving than I. I would have just dropped communication with my mom if she was acting like that.

[@jgbnino8157]

Me too. If anyone rejected me for being gay, I would drop that person like a hot potato-- family or not.

[@kingtutankhamun402]

No you wouldn't. Not the woman who carried you for 9 months & extruded you from her vagina. Give her time.

[@independentpuppy7520]

I would have said, well you gave birth to me, maybe you should look at yourself. Maybe it's your fault when I was developing in your womb.

[@Ka_orellana]

Same

[@seawallbird5724]

I always knew about my nephew ... even when he was very young... but I never spoke about it to anyone.... So when about ten years later his Mom came over one evening and told me that at 19 he had told her he had felt this way since he was 12 years old... about the same time I had noticed too...There was only one way to react... my heart broke for my dear, darling nephew who had been holding and harbouring all this on his own for so long... I loved him so much then and nothing will ever change that.. i wish you all the very best in your future. don't blame your parents..... we all will have different viewpoints on things.... that doesn't mean we stop loving... be well and take care... 💕

[@victreebel170]

Audio was too quiet in this one. Anyway, glad for this guy. Parents do come around... but they should all also apologize for the rejection they gave in the earlier days. Profusely.

[@WPGinfo]

Adjusting to a new situation takes time. Coming out usually means you're telling something that you've 'known for some time' to someone that doesn't know yet. Give them time to adjust and figure out 'what this news means' for them and your relationship. BTW: the bigger the shock, the more adjusting it takes...

[@arlosmith2784]

Other coming out experiences are more difficult. I have a former partner who was disowned by his parents: So disowned that Jay wasn't even advised of their deaths and funerals. 🌈

[@WPGinfo]

@@arlosmith2784 That must have been very painful indeed. Unfortunately family relationships CAN be very difficult and painful or even broken beyond repair. This might change your focus on relationships in a 'chosen network / chosen-family' that is welcoming supportive and accepting.

[@arlosmith2784]

@@WPGinfo Jay knew that I and my siblings and father always treated him as part of our family 🌈

[@KellyMacgillberg]

It's great that they were able to open their eyes and see beyond the beliefs they were raised with. As many queer folk know, it's not easy for them. And apparently impossible for some. They choose church over their children, and miss out on many of the joys of being a parent, and grandparent.

[@BlondieHappyGuy]

We all have to live our lives for OURSELVES to be happy. NOT live our lives for someone else just to make THEM happy! That's not life!

[@lukemichaelbrookfield9664]

Thank you for sharing your story!

[@camecex]

All the best to him

[@vistaprime]

I always envy men who find love at such a young age. I am still looking.

[@J0n312]

Lots of interviews from southeast Texans interviews. Interesting.. Is driftwood in the area?

[@orangecat5909]

My mother isn't haveing none of this... It's bad for me..i'm 45 even my own siblings and family's make fun of me in front of my face.... Being one latino gay man on earth is just a constant, ass whipping for me. I survive avoiding people staying home and liveing in extreme poverty all the time.

[@markjade3587]

Huh... Atleast his kinda ok with it,kinda

[@Lucas-gm3bv]

He wanted to be the president of the area lgbt group, but he himself had yet to “come out“ to his parents. For a guy who wanted to have had his ducks lined up, he took his sweet time lining them up!! I’m glad things eventually worked themselves out, but if he’s going to advocate to/for the lgbtqia+ community he’s gotta have experienced [at least some of] the same struggles. I’m not saying he needs to be a martyr, but I gotta know the guy’s experienced the standing-in-front-of-your-parents-and-hope-they-still-love-you feeling. He says it himself - it wouldn’t have worked out if he hadn’t come out.

[@richcampbell6808]

Blah blah blah. He can come out when he wants. Now kick rocks.

[@ChristianUSA8]

👍👍👍💜💜💜👍👍👍

[@isaiahyoungbrown]

First.... lol