the Hill Country Devil, "Kerr County Dopesick Blues" // GemsOnVHS™

What many consider the best song off the new album, something i'm tempted to agree with. When I first heard it, I was blown away by the honesty and reality presented by the writing. For those wondering, Kerr county is a rural county in Texas where Hayden spent a good deal of recovery/rehab time. It's dedicated to his friend, who recently passed away to a fentanyl overdose.
The first time we tried to record this song (clips of which can be seen in the beginning of this video) Hayden was too fucked up to finish it and so we had to call it off. This is the second go around.
If you want to support real musicianship, raw songwriting and Hayden then here's your chance.
Buy a digital download of the new album here on our website,
gemsonvhs.com/...
Shot in Austin by Richie Schalin.
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[@Molly-MaryEHackenberger]

Hayden's line about how selfish it would be if he'd followed his buddy into the grave rings through my brain a lot lately. I was a heroin addict for almost 30 years and after 8 years on Suboxone, I've finally been completely free from opiates for a little over a year. But 5 months ago I was in a horrible car accident in which my best friend/fiance was killed, along with 2 others, including a child. I am having a really hard time understanding how and why I am still here. No one, including me, expected me to survive my addiction, and now this crash... It just feels like a giant mistake that I'm still here and at times like this, I wonder if I actually am still here... Maybe I didn't survive and now I'm a sad ghost wandering around unseen among the living, unaware that I am actually supposed to be dead... I'm sure that sounds crazy... Some days the only thing that keeps me from following him into death are Hayden's mumbled words bouncing around my brain. I'm honestly surprised I haven't used heroin again, especially now. I have to admit I am tempted, mostly as a suicidal impulse more than any belief it will actually help. I had a bad enough habit for a long enough time to be immune to that particular lie... I'm not sure exactly what I am trying to say or why... I guess I figured that some of the people who appreciate Hayden's music might be more likely to understand the heartache of the loss that Im experiencing, and hopefully would spare me the cruel bullshit judgement that I have to endure daily on top of this crushing and very lonely grief. I honestly don't know what to do to get through it. I can't believe 5 months have already passed since the crash. In 12 years, I have never been apart from him for this long, and the passage of time so far makes everything harder, not better. I don't have anyone to talk to about it, so pathetically, I am unloading here in a KZbin comment section, which even annoys me. I guess I will stop my whining and head out in the snow for a late night walk. That's the only thing that even remotely helps right now. Apologies for spreading my self pity among strangers. I guess the relative anonymity is the only way it feels safe to open up at all. My embarrassment is somewhat lessened by my certainty that 99% of people will skip any post as long as this one will likely be, so hopefully this will end up as just another silly note sent into the void. Those can help more than one would think, actually. So, apologies if anyone actually slogged through to this point. I wish I could come up with some hopeful or wise words to end this, but I have nothing right now. I'm just getting through each minute, and barely managing that. For now, that's the absolute best I can do.

[@jonnyknuckles7942]

Survivor's guilt is rough, you deserve to be alive and to be loved

[@jessiemoser4862]

You are here to spread that message. I know its hard but you must spread you're message of getting clean

[@mynameisnotdoug]

It's not a mistake you're still here. 10 months since you wrote this. Hopefully you're still alive and kicking. Keep strong. Those who are still here need each other.

[@jacksonfire92]

So very sorry for your loss❤you are in my thoughts an prayers tonight. God has plans for you. An he has one for me as well. Lift that spirit. Sending hugs to you right now

[@dallasblair]

Been 11 months....hope your doing well and havnt slipped. If you have there is always someone who's more than willing to help. Just gotta look

[@nolantaylorfans3824]

Hayden celebrated 90 days clean, with the help of Arlo McKinnley, with us at the VClub in Huntington, WV!!! Keep pushing homie! We NEED you!

[@jessesharp5733]

That's bad ass. Everything about this comment makes me happy.

[@orangeiceice12]

HELL YEAH bro. God bless. Salute for what you're doing for our people

[@tednorton5150]

If you have this kind of talent you have unbelievable things awaiting you and begging you to live to greet them.

[@chadpickens1717]

Magic happens at the v-club. I cant wait to get back to a show.

[@superkool7]

This is powerful man.... and I don’t know Hayden but damn his music has affected and been a part of my life hard. I’m so happy to hear this. Truly. Fucking truly, truly, truly. Keep fighting brother. ALWAYS FORWARD. ALWAYS. FUCKING. FORWARD.

[@David-jw2th]

Anyone experienced that withdrawal of being up all night with not wink of sleep, than than the sun comes up again. I can feel the 4 days

[@andycopland3179]

I don't know how it is for others, but I just couldn't stop my legs moving, and that was by far the worst part for me. I was on Oxy and fent for 7 years. Had a kid so put myself in my room and suffered. Almost 5 years ago now and I still remember it clearly, you go through a metaphorical death and rebirth. Then the mental battle begins.

[@billycharles7435]

Everybody judges this guy because he's an addict. He's a human being first and a great musician.

[@brianstotler9846]

I am an addict and I definitely judged him because he is an addict. At least scrutinized. If that's any different? My judgements just happen to be positive. Regardless of the stigma, and quite possible negative feedback, he put himself out there honestly and that had to take more courage than I've been able to muster yet. However, the fact that he was able to turn such tragedy and sorrow into something constructive and beautiful. Well damn, he gave my cynical ass hope and inspiration. Two things that have been virtually absent from my life since Christmas of 2015. Thanks for writing your feelings out loud and for showing that all hope is not lost on humanity. Stay well, and grow stronger daily.

[@thecreatedvoid117]

Do people not realize how common this is in the music industry? Most just hide it. I’m glad he’s open and honest about his continued struggle and pray he’s able to defeat it.

[@gabesomerville7181]

If this dude died tomorrow his only claim to fame would be an album that's almost untouchable and that is a fact and speaks volumes

[@junebug313]

It's uncanny how much this song resonates with my entire life. Lost my best friend to a fent overdose. Lost the love of my life because i relapsed after 9 years clean. And now it's harder to quit than it ever was before. I'm worried I'm riding this right into my grave

[@HerrStrenner]

Few men will know themselves as much as you know yourself. In the hells of withdrawal, while puking and shitting your heart out, you'll find a beautiful summer in yourself. I believe this to be true with all my heart.

[@Frank_Darko]

Hayden- Maybe one day you’ll stop falling on the needle and finally just let it rest on top of your records- probably not From one junkie musician to another - Thank you for the blood cold sweats and tears- If you’re ever in Orange County and need somewhere to crash or want to record. Hit me up. We have a ton of sober musicians out here that used to be halfway faced down on deaths doorstep just trying to slowly back away from the hell they called home. Stay up my friend- Condolences to your brother- Finally to gems on VHS- thank you for everything you do. You’ve put me in some dark places and gotten me out. You might not read any of these but it’s therapeutic enough to be able to offer up a thank you. - Adon J.

[@TheMnimatt]

A. Janse beautifully said

[@WalturdTheCat]

Amen brother amen

[@WalturdTheCat]

@@TheMnimatt yes!

[@enigma1247]

Probably not? Pretty messed up.

[@DEATH_TO_TYRANTS]

Anthony reads them. He may not have responded to this, but I bet he read it. Side note, coming from an ex junkie, why add the "probably not" to your comment? I'd say that you are probably an asshole for that, but I am probably wrong. You probably are a great guy who means well.

[@OJ_lopez]

This ain't my first time hearing this song, but that little blurb in the beginning just made this song resonate with me so much more. Beautiful.

[@addicted2tone349]

This is literally the best damn channel on KZbin and it gives me hope for music in America.. This song could also be the dope sick blues for any county in Kentucky near me.

[@DIRTYSANCHEZ1995]

This could be the dopesick blues for any place in the world friend. I’m in western Canada (at the moment) and I got the dopesick blues through and through. Working my way through suboxone treatment right now and trying to stave off dope sickness as we speak.

[@santonopoulou]

@@DIRTYSANCHEZ1995 6 years sober from dope here. Hang in there. There is light at the end of the tunnel. *hugs*

[@shawnsynnestvedt5292]

Or Chicago, where its got many of us by the throat

[@leescruggs7636]

Fucking aye man

[@markduffield8110]

I feel you bro

[@e-maw9450]

Hayden, I love your music. It's real. Remember to look us up in the slow country of south Carolina. U will always have a free place to stay. God bless. Praying for your recovery. Joyce

[@invictusmaneo3439]

"And how selfish it would have been for me to follow suit"

[@WalturdTheCat]

I love that you heard that, I heard it and felt it.

[@brianstotler9846]

The thing about loving real music: The good feels are really good and The sad feels are just as equally sad. Crying like a baby at the moment. Any of you fighting their demons, even in your darkest hour, when it seems nobody cares or that everyone is against you. Please know that is false. I am still rooting for you. I still believe in you. We can and we do, recover.

[@WalturdTheCat]

@@brianstotler9846 I'm fighting the battle, too...

[@innerselfspark1384]

@@brianstotler9846 I cant seem to get 24 hours without a certain substance... dope sick and work dont mix at all..so I convince myself everyday that its necessary...its literally killing me

[@The_dude94]

@@innerselfspark1384 right there with ya man, it's a harsh reality for a lot of us!

[@quosh32]

So beautiful. Here’s my attempt at the lyrics: It’s my fourth day awake Oh and Dallas is behind us but I’ll pay for that mistake And being swallowed by the shadow of these Picture postcards on the dresser Reflect the flashing from the street As the hounds start-a-catching up to me In a cloak of sheets and the cold concrete I tremble for defeat And that golden script from my back pocket Ain’t worth a god damn thing ‘Cause the judge won’t grant me bail And what’s another month in jail... Well you sleep well wrapped in somone else’s arms And no matter, what I choose Oh I’m forced to pay my dues Dream of you, in the Kerr County dopesick blues It’s my fourth day awake And the nights are getting longer yet I flinch when morning breaks And I wonder if you long for me at all As I trace the cracking stone stretching trails across these walls And I hope that the whole damn thing will fall And the sky will bruise in blinding hues And if god is good it’ll fall down too And the world will turn as the idols burn With steadfast follow through But the ledger spells my name And that stone won’t ever break So onward now, through the never ending ache... And no matter what I choose Oh I’m forced to pay my dues Dream of you, in the Kerr County dopesick blues

[@haydenk8831]

It's my fourth day awake Dallas is behind us, but I'll pay for that mistake And be swallowed by the shadow of the east Picture postcards on the dresser reflect the flashing from the street As the hounds start a-catching up to me In a cloak of sheets on the cold concrete I tremble before defeat And that golden script from my back pocket Aint worth a God damn thing 'Cause the judge won't grant me bail, what's another month in jail While you sleep well wrapped in someone else's arms No matter what I choose I'm forced to pay my dues And dream of you in the Kerr county dopesick blues It's my fourth day awake And the nights are getting longer yet I flinch when morning breaks I wonder if you long for me at all As I trace the cracking stone that's stretching trails across these walls And I hope that the whole damn thing will fall And the sky will bruise in blinding hues if god is good it'll fall down too And the world will turn as the idols burn with steadfast follow through But the ledger spells my name and that stone won't ever break So onward now through the never ending ache No matter what I choose I'm forced to pay my dues And dream of you in the Kerr county dopesick blues

[@quosh32]

Hayden! Wow, thanks for the reply, I was almost there! I’m trying to figure it out on guitar, got the picking pattern down but still struggling through the chords/rundowns etc. This is gonna’ be your year man. Much love and hope to you.

[@georgecallahan6531]

@@haydenk8831 damn dude I'm an instant fan badass shit keep it up I would rather be playing with any of you gems on musicians than this fake crap they're trying to sell us it would mean way more as a musician believe me

[@DEATH_TO_TYRANTS]

@@haydenk8831 Thanks for sharing this beautiful song with us ❤

[@ThinkingCap_]

@@haydenk8831 I lost the love of my life to fentanyl in 2015. Thank you four sharing your story, I know it will help others, whichever side they're on.

[@EwigWinterreich]

The Hill Country Devil is really a true gem. Ever since "Glory" appeared, I was hooked. Thanks.

[@mammon_is_god]

This should have millions of views, millions of fans.

[@mrmagnolia7821]

God damn, Hayden...the ability you have to translate pain into something meaningful and beautiful, which this absolutely is, isn't something to be taken lightly. Thank you, for creating and sharing this as a fan of your music I'm grateful and happy to have seen this come up on my feed today. After listening to the intro and the song...just as a fellow human being, I'm just happy you're here with us. I appreciate and thank you for that as well, hanging on when it's easy to lay down, well I know that ain't always easy. I hope that moment of clarity you touched on having here with this song and Josh's death also continues to take on different meanings to you with time, as you say the song itself has. It took me hitting rock bottom to know which way I had to go to in order to climb out of a hole I once found myself in, but I did and I'm still climbing. Keep climbing, my friend. And may you RIP Josh Allen.

[@longgone696]

I hope Hayden gets the recognition that he deserves. Glory is one of the best songs I have ever heard. By anybody. Every Lost Dog Street Band show I have seen, Ben Tod seems to always mention Hayden whether he plays Haydens Lament or not. This Gems on VHS series is the most authentic music I have heard in years and I am grateful.

[@cosmiccomedy7394]

Rats get fat is my personal favorite. I really like his old song belly ache too.

[@lashermayfair0]

I really can't even believe how absolutely beautiful this man's songs are. His pain must be tremendous, and I wish it weren't so- but he has channeled it into some of the finest art ever to exist

[@wesleycooper7159]

Hope you can get and stay clean brother. If you don't it will be one of the biggest wastes of talent I believe we will ever witness. Praying for you young man.

[@tosdurk]

The comment section here has become a safe haven for addicts to relate and speak to one another. Be there for each other, talk about our lost loved ones.. I love you all man.

[@DEATH_TO_TYRANTS]

Very appropriate for me right now. I just lost my best friend of 29 years to that fentanyl shit. R.I.P. Dirty, I miss you more than you'll ever know friend. Many thanks to Anthony and all the beautiful people he introduces us to ❤

[@DEATH_TO_TYRANTS]

God damnit. You've got me crying at work now

[@mazdevalia87]

*Hugs* @Florida Man

[@DEATH_TO_TYRANTS]

@@mazdevalia87 Thank you :)

[@GemsOnVHS]

love ya bud. it's everywhere out there.. stay vigilant.

[@DEATH_TO_TYRANTS]

@@GemsOnVHS He was actually in Leesburg of all places Anthony. Thanks for everything Anthony. I love all y'all.

[@tayloredwards2516]

Beautiful song. You can feel the hurt in his voice makes me miss my fallen friends rip Josh 💔

[@scottcolluraBuzzn59]

Godspeed Brother , keep moving forward and sharing your Soul .

[@OswaldMosley-rr5fg]

This mans music takes me right back to the days of when I was a lesser man fighting for a reason to do the right thing. I pray for nothing but peace and prosperity for him and his, God Bless him. Ive been clean for eight years as of July 14th this year. Back then everyone but one friend and my grandparents had given up on me and their love gave me a reason to invest in my future and fight to become better. In the end despite how bad things get I know I can and will overcome my personal demons, anyone else reading this and is still in that place needs to know your never "That Far Gone". The strength of the human spirit is a most amazing thing.

[@superkool7]

Coming back. Powerful.... truly. Chase, I miss you brother. I’ll see you again. Someday brother, someday.

[@jordanmaxwell6882]

I'm here today because of this song, lost so many people I have loved to addictions, as I struggle myself, thank you my friend for your strength it gives me strength my friend

[@amandahuffman2770]

Birds of a feather. This songs makes me ache to the core.

[@MisterDeadFlesh]

Even though I've not been thru these specific things.. I'm no stranger to that same ache and the miserable weight it brings. You have a gift. I've been stuck on a couple of your songs for days now. It is rare to find an artist that captures my attention like this. There is no question that you feel every word you've written in these songs. Stay honest and genuine, good sir. It does us all good to hear such flawless music. If you ever find yourself in a low place.. Remember that you have given us all something beautiful to fall to. I look forward to seeing your name more and more. I've been in those cells and felt very much the same, brother. Keep your head up and be strong. Thank you for putting so much of yourself out there for us.. You have an incredible talent and it will resonate with countless others. Someone explain to me how such tragic and pain ladden music can be so beautiful and uplifting? This man has got something most artists wish or pretend to have. And I feel like it comes so easily for him. Playing with the chords if anyone knows them already.

[@WalturdTheCat]

Amen. That is the depth of my soul

[@jennshoemaker1674]

So much pain, thank you for sharing it in such an emotional creative way..you make my heart wrench Hayden.

[@jojojimmyjoe]

I have been listening to this since it came out. The pure beauty of it still amazes me.

[@jillashleyring]

I. Think. I. Just. Felt. My. Breath. Stop. Thank you for making this video, for writing music that makes you remember the pain of every nerve ending being exposed and how you wanna die, you wanna live, you wanna feel, you sure as fuck don't wanna feel, and all you can do is think about some way to change the way you feel.

[@cassievoiles6032]

Found this song in treatment in Nashville. “…and how selfish it would have been for me to follow suit” hit me so hard. It all did. I hope Hayden is well and the rest of the album is fantastic, too. ❤️

[@justintime5252]

Awesome song, glad you could record this. I love and have loved everything you’ve done. Hope your doing well sorry for your loss.

[@hogger123]

I can’t get enough of Hayden! Hope he realizes how therapeutic his music is and he finds what’s he needs to win his fight to stay sober. We’re rooting for ya!

[@GemsOnVHS]

i hope he does too. thanks jon

[@keeleystacy1868]

It's my fourth day awake Dallas is behind us, but I’ll pay for that mistake And be swallowed by the shadow of the east Picture postcards on the dresser reflect the flashing from the street As the hounds start a-catching up to me In a cloak of sheets on the cold concrete I tremble before defeat And that golden script from my back pocket Ain't worth a God damn thing 'Cause the judge won’t grant me bail, what's another month in jail While you sleep well wrapped in someone else's arms No matter what I choose I'm forced to pay my dues And dream of you in the Kerr county dopesick blues It's my fourth day awake And the nights are getting longer yet I flinch when morning breaks I wonder if you long for me at all As I trace the cracking stone that's stretching trails across these walls And I hope that the whole damn thing will fall And the sky will bruise in blinding hues If god is good it'll fall down too And the world will turn as the idols burn With steadfast follow through But the ledger spells my name and that stone won't ever break So onward now through the never ending ache

[@tommillward8927]

So good! Hayden you’ve made a masterpiece. Be proud my friend, keep up the good work 🇬🇧🇬🇧

[@brendonleary]

The depth of this man's poetry is immeasurable.

[@bluestratos1901]

Im happy to have found his fantastic voice and music not more than 10 minutes ago. I am a fan now and damn the last couple of songs I've heard are magnificent..

[@petejunior47]

Yes sir. I like it. Depressingly fuckingly awesomely awesome.

[@P4ndieEy3ss]

Beautiful fragile truth... peace & love for your pain. Thank you xo

[@jonathanplante6561]

Thank-you for you're honest heart. And inspiration for clarifying sobriety just now sir. Thank-you and I hope if you read this, it finds you well.

[@cruelycruel1032]

great work man, melancholy is tangible

[@y0uthinasia]

ain't it though..

[@benredmond3]

this man has a pain and honesty in his voice that you only hear when you come across something special. he manages to encapsulate so many emotions in just a few verses. it's a strange kind of feeling he gives the listener. "i flinch when morning breaks"...

[@clarkkc11]

We need your music to help heal. Keep singing brother. Keep healing yourself and others.

[@justinbarton247]

My best friends since the third grade overdosed on a hot shot that he thought was cocaine but was fentanyl well 40% fentanyl anyway. Needless to say his heart stopped before he hit the ground and he is dead. He was dealing pretty serious amounts of drugs in our state and several counties and I think that the person he bought the supposed Coke from was likely competition and they wanted to eliminate him. That was in September of 2019. I remember when he died how many people showed up to his funeral honestly it was incredible there were so many people there. I had asked his parents and wife if it was okay for me to give a speech and I did. I was able to contain my emotion from the time I got the news that he had passed until the moment I finished giving that speech. I miss him a lot I still see his parents often because I grew up a big chunk of my life in his house we called each other brothers as far as I'm concerned we are. I still call his mom mom and his dad dad. After that I would take massive amounts of ecstasy and drink ungodly amounts of alcohol. I was trying to kill myself and it was a nightly thing it wasn't uncommon for me to wake up on his grave during this time. I don't use hard drugs anymore and his daughters doing good she's two now. Sorry if this made any of you reading this uncomfortable so I just felt the need to share this and the song for obvious reasons reminds me a lot of that time in my life reminds me a lot of Aaron. And while reading these other comments on this video I thought that maybe this might be the right circle on the internet to share this with. If you're struggling with addiction or struggling with the death of someone close to you who overdosed, I'm not going to lie to you until you gets easier because so far in my experience it doesn't you just get better at dealing with it. I love you guys.

[@MJCenac76]

One of the most amazingly written intros in all of songwriting. ❤

[@mecamp82]

Thank you so much for this song in particular but also for the whole channel. I know I'm commenting way after this video was posted but when it was first posted I wasn't aware how incredibly meaningful it would become for me. I just knew it was a great song I could identify with. Since then I have continued fighting the good fight to stay clean, while dealing with friends dying the same way as the friend he mentions and others that haven't died but are lost to drugs at the moment. So many songs on this channel but in particular the Hill Country Devil's music have gotten me thru some of the worst times of fighting to get and stay clean. Sometimes I wouldn't have the fight in me. I would want to start using again. I would get to the point I couldn't think of a reason for staying clean and I would turn on this video. His line about how selfish it would be to follow would give me my reason for staying clean. I cant express my gratitude adequately. How do you tell a stranger thank you for helping you thru a white knuckle night. idk. But thank you. So much.

[@craigvestal1778]

I'm sorry for your loss. I used for 11 yrs and I've been clean for 12 yrs. Hope you find peace. Find it in the music, love over dope. Love yourself enough to change.

[@teemoreau5645]

RIP Krista, this song is for you. I hope you made it to heaven ❤️

[@sonnyjones4399]

We deeply need your music buddy. Hang in there. I'm a mess but I'm magnetized to your music bud. It's beautiful ❤️

[@turtledove2095]

So much pain in the voice and the song. I'm glad I found this on Reddit

[@RangerJohnnyRocket0905]

I hope you were able to overcome and defeat that demon we all struggle with and we all fight with everything we have. I'm proud of you and I love your music man.

[@GemsOnVHS]

Follow him on instagram, @thehillcountrydevil - we're @gemsonvhs

[@holyvacant1427]

do you mind if i ask you a question about this artist?

[@damonryanledbetter1386]

Duck u

[@elvisreid5236]

You may not see this but stay strong my friend , love the tunes keep up the good work 👌❤

[@jordanrivas7398]

I don’t know if Hayden ever looks at these comments but I hope he knows how many people are pulling for him. It seems he’s walked a long, tough road. Addiction is a stubborn adversary, but I hope he claims true and lasting victory so the rest of his life can be as long and full as it ought to be. Best of luck, Hayden.

[@udolpho]

Bought the album. Don't regret it. You buy it you won't regret it either.

[@daltonbrennan8242]

Album name?

[@udolpho]

@@daltonbrennan8242 It's called Nicotine and China White and you can get it from gemsonvhs.com.

[@andrewsimons5926]

To many years on the road this hits home hard

[@kylebig1776]

Benjamin Tod brought me here, fucking beautiful man, truly beautiful and I’m glad I found it.

[@rachelpalmer3384]

Im so proud and excited for Hayden and this album ❤

[@gtwinz771]

I've watched this video numerous times the past 3 years during my addiction and my recovery... And I'm saddened I never read the description attached to the video

[@jwilliamr86]

He always reminds me to be honest as possible while writing songs. And that friends is true inspiration

[@marinoraven9598]

Love your honesty man. Thank you for that.

[@midwestsports3046]

Heart wrenches souls tell miraculous tails of how life can be so decimated to some on different levels

[@GemsOnVHS]

Howdy, folks! If you're enjoyin' these recordings, please consider becoming a Patron to keep us going. For the price of a cup of coffee every month, you can help us bring you new stories and songs. We'll return the favor with plenty of digital downloads, CDs, behind-the-scenes takes, giveaways, and more! www.patreon.com/gemsonvhs

[@killthejabberwockey3058]

Goddamn the pain in his eyes. Makes me sad for him. Some of the most real music I have had bless my ears in a good long while. Keep up the fight brother!

[@TheWolfElder]

My friend Sarah died by overdose last year. Whether it be suicide, or whether it was her drug dealer boyfriend. I don't know. Fly high, hunni. I'll see you again one day. Thanks so much, Country Devil Man.

[@disappearlikethemorning8220]

Finally more stuff with Hayden. Goosebumps. Album is fucking amazing too.

[@GemsOnVHS]

we got a lot more videos with him coming!

[@alanschuster9388]

I really enjoy and love this song. I hate the pain you have had to go through but I relate. Several people around my area has od'ed due to fentanyl cut herion. Horse was not my thing, fortunately.

[@jbizzy6655]

Tragically Beautiful.

[@danielmorris1180]

This is the best music channel on KZbin, and this song blows me away.

[@GemsOnVHS]

shoot, thanks buddy. stay tuned we got more coming.

[@pigpen4419]

I feel this soo much cause last year all I wanted was that shit that would send be to go see my dog and all my homies glad you made a song instead

[@GemsOnVHS]

BIG thank you to all our Patreon contributors, specifically Richard Harmon, VJ Arizpe and Caleb Crouch for making this possible.

[@jessicaglaspie9005]

I'm a methadone patient my ol man's mom ODed on methadone and Xanax he and I still struggle but clean since March 5 2021

[@johnhowell7641]

His voice is beautiful!

[@That_Idiot_Bass_Player]

Man, he can write a sad song like no other. I feel like I have to prepare myself whenever a new one shows up. But they're always so beautifully written I keep coming back.

[@6954tmack]

Beautiful. Thank you.

[@darinhill3773]

Damn. Pain and ache is part of getting back to average, it sucks, but it is. Beautiful, heartfelt tune.

[@TheMnimatt]

everyone, please buy the album as soon as possible to support our fellow people

[@PatrickFelger]

After reading the description the beginning is tough to watch... I've lost a lot of good people to overdoses, and watched them struggle with addiction for years before that. I've seen fewer people beat it than not. I wish Hayden all the best, the man is super talented, I just hope he is able to beat it.

[@mattdavis8234]

You can sell 1000000 records but yet never wright a song this good

[@AussieLis3]

Can see, feel and hear the passion in this song and your performance.. absolutely gorgeous heartfelt song 💜✌

[@Atofer1]

Youre fucking doing great hayden. You are an inspiration to many now.

[@codyburk84]

This song really hits home for me. I overdosed on fentanyl and shooting cocaine in 2005 AND in 2007 while on xanax and acid. I was lucky enough to get pushed out of the moving car in front of the ER door both times. Both times, I went straight from the hospital upon release to get more. Totalled my car on fentanyl, caught myself on fire with a cigarette, saw friends OD, gun stuck in my face by a heroin dealer in St. Louis because I refused to shoot in front of him til my crack to mix in with it got there, lied, cheated, stole to/ from family and friends, the worst of all was the pain I put my loved ones through... the innocent victims... the list goes on... all because of dope. I had an epiphany when some friends and family had an intervention. I had won a settlement, bought 45 fentanyl patches, locked myself in my bedroom, and smoked every single one. A friend busted in my room after nobody had heard from me in so many days. My blanket was covered in vomit and burn marks from cigarettes,... and so was I. Everyone that cared about me came over the same day and it just hit me...sobriety. That was in 2008. I'm still here, I have 2 beautiful boys, 7 and 9. They keep me going. It's not always easy when life gets you down. I just think of them and keep my nose to the grindstone. One day at a time.

[@dn591]

cody burk gawh lee🤧

[@chrisnaeter5257]

It’s a terrible thing that nobody who hasn’t gone through it can understand. Glad you’re still here man.

[@HIGHWAYATMIDNIGHT]

Keep it it up man love that subtle Tyler Childers reference at the end

[@codyburk84]

@@chrisnaeter5257 thanks man

[@codyburk84]

@@HIGHWAYATMIDNIGHT thanks man! Was hoping someone noticed! Lol

[@rusleepn]

Sooo good man :) love your music so music ... love love love

[@shanesmith1020]

We need you out here, Hayden.

[@jameswechsler9000]

so beautiful. Please don't die.

[@SylasG]

Hayden is still struggling with his drug use unfortunately, posting a "5 days clean again" earlier this year. I really hope he figures it out and stops using.

[@kapitolking]

This song is Perfect...I dont know if people who haven't been through it understand the brutal honesty or not..

[@chrisnaeter5257]

Rob Morris they don’t

[@DolemiteSammich]

This dude has one of the bets voices ever man.

[@yeahyeahyeahyeahsbut2089]

Then you would like the Felice Brothers too. Check out Rockefeller blues...because you know, these guys have the blues.

[@DolemiteSammich]

@@yeahyeahyeahyeahsbut2089 Appreciate the tip!

[@rorycunningham7106]

Happy for him

[@brandonstephens7877]

Dude, I don’t even know if you read this rhetoric about how you “saved” someone…. No idea what, YOU, Yourself are experiencing. I can embrace that “innocent ignorance” and humble myself. 21 years and a $300 a day habit ended when I stumbled upon “Glory”…. 50 times, a red eye flight , and bloody sleeves, with a brown spot stained 😷 mask from “what have you “. I think I messaged about the same thing, but forgive that too. The fog is slow to lift and just dissipates slower with each conscious decision to go back to that vomit where rats thrive. Thanks for the album. I’ve been to treatment as soo many posts here claim. It’s was specifically your music, that I not only identified with but felt it a soundtrack to my wrecked existence. Again…. Keep it coming and BLess you.

[@vjarizpe]

Thanks Anthony. Thank you so much.

[@sewellparanormal6351]

Beautiful brother.

[@BossCat42]

Beautiful

[@candlercutcliffe9617]

You and your homie that this song is about is so fucking beautiful and has helped me not do dope. Thank you brother.

[@newfoundaquatics5093]

Hayden reminds me of myself accept I'm having a lot of trouble letting feeling out into music or just out in general....most people only see the "bright" side of musicians. I have started writing poetry recently to try and improve my words so I can convey them into song like hayden can do wonderfully. I miss the past and dread the future but I will prevail

[@WalturdTheCat]

Fuck YES.. I feel every word. Beautiful!! Stay clean. The devil drug Heroin will kill you. Stay clean my friend, your talent needs to be heard!

[@cw6621]

All the musical legends are rolling over with a smile on their faces knowing another man has stepped in line to keep the human experience harmonized... now, tell your demons to take a fucking number and go to the back of the line bc the angels are with you now, there's no need nor room for them anymore... I'm just so happy this is finally happening for you :) edit: I had to lay my mother to rest earlier this month and a dear friend of mine is knocking at his grave, so I'm so grateful to have music like this to process the re-realization each dawn brings. just, thanks...

[@junkiejackflash]

Lots of memories of shooting up. Some good, a lot bad. But getting off methadone made me want to never get into it again. With smack I could handle the 3-4 day kick, but with methadone (after getting kicked out for drinking) the withdrawal was hell for a month and a half. Went to work with some crazy tremors, and had to call off once after not getting any sleep at alm for 6 days. Methadone got me off dope, but getting off methadone helped me stay off that shit in general.

[@horror_punk_gamer9932]

Mdone & suboxine withdrawal are worse than dope cuz of the half life, went 30days without a meal, just beef jerky & junk food & took least a month to even get 2hrs of sleep, ADDICTION IS A BITCH ESPECIALLY A STRUGGLE WHEN YOUR IN ACTIVE ADDICTION, HOPE EVERYONE OVERCOMES THERE'S DEMONS... LIVE_FREE!!!

[@jemcairney]

He is amazing. This is far from his best work but the unpolished nature of it only emphasises the power of his feeling. One to dwell on.

[@escapegoatsforhire918]

Hayden if you're out there. When and where can I add this album to my collection? I vibe so well to this stuff. Makes the skin crawl and brings a lot of emotion. I hope nothing but the best for you friend

[@GemsOnVHS]

you can buy it in the description mate

[@escapegoatsforhire918]

Paycheck is Friday this will be treated as a well thought out expense. Glad to support this man.

[@reddwing4368]

Can t go here can't go there It's where we used too It's not fair I love the streets And avenues A grand parade On a tree lined Boulevard Today In my dreams all the building s are so very tall and clean I m like a little red dot I drink it all in Then I go for a swim Right on threw again Many many towns Downs is where I choose to be