Gen Zs Have COMMITMENT ISSUES??? |

[@feeyawn]

hi! i don't usually comment but i would like to share my two cents on this topic as i think you guys might have gotten this term a little wrong... I've listened to this episode, and I believe there's a misinterpretation of the term "situationship." Generally, this term is used with a negative connotation, describing a scenario where there's emotional intimacy, spending time together, and often a physical and sexual component. However, the key feature of situationships is the absence of clear relationship definitions or boundaries, making it emotionally taxing and challenging to endure. It's like being in a romantic or physical relationship that isn't formalised or established. Even friends with benefits or casual dating ("a fling") might seem preferable because there's a clear understanding of the connection, even if it's not labeled. The episode seems to equate situationships with dating around and avoiding commitment, but in reality, it's more complex. Situationships often involve one person wanting a committed relationship while the other avoids defining the boundaries. ok thx bye (:

[@sintiayuliani9123]

situationships are not liberating. Done it more than once i wanted to pass away everyday

[@lilpenguinblue8004]

Can’t agree at all that a situationship is a good pre-dating trial. When you only enter into a situationship knowingly defining it as “nothing”, you are not going to learn anything about proper committed relationships through that experience because you have not dated the person properly and given him/her the care and effort that a bf/gf deserves. It is also the greatest injustice to the other party if the situationship is only wanted by you while he/she actually has feelings and wishes to pursue a real relationship. Imo, a relationship is already a trial to marriage. It is perfectly ok to break up, we don’t Need another layer of trial to relationships.

[@madelynn_18]

I can't agree also lol, it's not a good thing at all. Feels like an excuse to not be committed or just treat people badly

[@xuele94]

Maybe not all treat badly but more off can't give a damn. Can't relate as well on the benefits. I guess it's just for curious n horny young ppl. 😅 ops..

[@987ujhpl]

It is strange that adults in their 20s require an unstable relationship to discover what they want in a life partner.

[@AcediaRulerOfSloth]

Considering that those adults spent 90% of that 20s studying.. I don't think it's that bad?

[@lamma746]

It’s not strange. It’s not a new concept to date people to see what you’re looking for in a Partner. The difference between Gen z and older gens is the gap between experieces. Gen Z is either experincing dating much later in life. Basically you’re getting people who are dating like teens but they’re in their 20’s. They’re adults so they’re more aware of what’s realisticly going to work out and what wont unlike teens who think they’ll get married to anyone they date. Situationships aren’t always intentional, sometimes they happen organicly. Situationships have been around for YEARS gen Z is literally just putting a name on it.

[@lilpenguinblue8004]

@@lamma746It doesn’t even help imo. If your end goal is a life partner, you should go into an established committed relationship so that you can actually look out for whether the person fulfils your expectations, as a committed partner. If you don’t think the rs is up to standard, then break up and try again. It makes no sense that you go into a “nothing situation” that is all about having fun without strings attached and think that can help you find out what you want in a wife/husband. Using a most basic example, loyalty as a trait is something you can test for in a bf/gf, but in a situationship it cannot even be expected from them. Using a situationship to evaluate your rs expectations is just like, evaluating an whether an employee can produce senior associate level quality of work while you are only giving them intern level pay

[@Jay-ru2cw]

Currently in a situationship. Not great at all because like what they said, you do what most couples do but you aren’t acknowledged as a couple. It’s sucks tbh… say no to situationship if you can. Because once you are in, it is hard and painful to get out of it…

[@elaineclaire7063]

I relate, i feel like i am stuck in one, he moved away and than he came back and now it doesnt seem like we're talking cause hes more bothered with his fame and content that im neglected 🫠 and is hard to just leave since we shared a situationship for about 4 years.

[@starshine9836]

The normal of mine is: get myself fixed, in the mean time, get to know people, hangout, have good friendship. If you find someone suitable, ask the person out and court. Not using each other to explore with no strings attached. Explore emotions, explore this and that. Very irresponsible. Cuz for sure, when you are in a relationship with another and invest your heart into it, no matter how much, it's still investing. If it works, awesome..if it doesn't, for sure it will hurt. Not just you, but both parties. When you are still hurt, heal yourself, find a counsellor, spend time doing things that you like and when the time comes, a healthy one with meet another healthy one. Don't drag others down and use them as spare tire. Just my own perspective. When you stir 2 faeces together, very hardly you will get a rainbow. Be a healthy you to attract another healthy one. Usually birds of a feather flock together. And a mature healthy one... Usually less PTSD. Cuz if both are mature, even if things didnt work out, it should end ambically.

[@lamma746]

It’s not using unless you make it that way. People are exploring. in their own way. Getting into a relationship without thinking just because you like someone isn’t any better. Dating isn’t a one shoe fits all situation. Some people need to find out what they want and don’t want to put lables on it. If you’re a grown adult the other person has free will to ask what the realationship is. Situationships are for people who like eachother, but are aware that putting a lable will cause more harm. Imagine dating someone who’s isn’t your ideal because they don’t want kids, but you like them a lot. You don’t call them your bf/gf because you know you’d be wasting time. You act like you’re together and it hurts when you part, but you didn’t place any repsonsibilites on each other to add more drama. Some people wont work out and it’s obvious, but theres still something to offer by being together even if it’s for a short amount of time. No one’s asking for everyone to be in a situationship, but I can see why people fall into them.

[@madamcuriouss]

situationship is just a euphemism for friends with benefit, which was why the guy who had fwd resonated so well w the term and why the girl called it a cop-out. call a spade a spade

[@shuwenwen]

As a millennial, barely 5 mins in and I’m like this hurts my brain 🥲🥲

[@alexong5955]

It’s just a convenient relationship, it’s a relationship that you are not looking for but falls into.

[@alui5362]

Naw, terrible advice. The answer to not having any dating guidance is not to dive into degenerate situationships and fwbs - you will end up lost, stuck with baggage, and wasting a lot of time. Especially for girls - few guys want to marry a ho. The answer is to FIND SOME GOOD ROLE MODELS. Easy example is Jon Chua and pat, but u guys are also in a position to be that positive influence to your young viewers.

[@ReviewMedic]

Situationship is basically when 2 people are unable to communicate what the heck they want and the 1 person being lead on is too afraid to ask what the heck they are and thus, carrying on this unclear relationship.

[@JtubeYouTube]

22:56 can relate to what JP said about not prioritizing relationship, made this mistake and regret now.

[@leavmealonee_]

okay, i (a slightly younger gen z) would like to give another side to "situationship", in a more long-term context. some people would actually see situationships in a way, whereby both parties acknowledge that they have a thing for each other, but for some reason are not ready to commit into a relationship yet. so to some extent, situationship isnt necessarily 100% a bad thing. i know of a few couple friends who went through a situationship with their current partner (for a few months) before officially getting together, and now, they're in the happiest long-term relationship ever. so yes, though situationships can be perceived as a "fling", but it can also be seen whereby individuals give themselves space to look after more important issues (while also testing the partner's loyalty to some extent), before finally committing their time into the (future) relationship.

[@lilpenguinblue8004]

ok, i wouldn’t say that situationships can Never work out in the end, but i’m not convinced by the fear of commitment reason. what are you even committing at such a young age? your time, effort and emotions? all these you also give and receive in a officialised rs, but you choose to do a situationship where you also have to invest these same things but just with the insecurity that your partner may disappear anytime because “no strings attached”. imo dont be afraid to put a title to a relationship so that you can Actually test for the qualities and expectations you want from a bf/gf, and don’t be afraid to break up if the rs ends up being undesirable. official dating =/= locked for marriage! also, your friends’ case likely only worked out because even though they havent established the rs, they were actually both loyal to each other deep down. can’t say the same about loyalty for many others, when that is not a requirement in a non-relationship

[@movdqa]

We got married in 1987. Marriage was a lot simpler. You met each others' parents, you counseled with your minister, then you planned the wedding and it was a fairly straightforward process to get married. Dating is just so much more complicated these days. Singaporeans have a nice advantage over a lot of other countries because of the level of prosperity there. It opens up options to marry foreigners. I've never been in a situationship but I had girlfriends and she had boyfriends but nothing serious. We were both career-focused and I was also going to college full-time so not a lot of time for dating. There are a lot of financial advantages, health, and other advantages to getting married young, and having kids, and then heading into retirement.

[@ivanlimzg]

Situationships=feelings without committment

[@RavenCloudNine]

Situationship: engaging in physical + emotional intimacy, but no strings attatched, no commitment. Positive take: exploatory relationships to learn about self and other parties. In order to not waste time, effort, energy only to find out, after unneccesarily long commitment, that things cannot work out. Satisfy the physical and emotional needs of one, together with other like-minded individuals, thus avoiding unnecessary misunderstanding of the relationship. Negative take: the excuse to normalize lusting around. To avoid responsibilities or be thoughtful towards intimacy, which in the eyes of many, a sacred and special act that's only meant for someone truly special.

[@lecherhao86]

Situationship were never there in the academic lexicon until a few years ago. Our younger generation loves coming up with new labels for exisiting phenomenon or to explain something that deviates subtly. Situationship is just a very 'liberating' and glorifying way of labelling a "fuck buddies" relationship because fuck buddies are like 'needs' transaction between two people, and some people don't wanna see their interactions as meaningless beyond fulfilling lust. Or else it makes them seem even more lonely. Don't assume a married boomer like me, especially someone who studies sexology and human sexuality, doesn't grasp it. The gentlemen hit the nail on the spot. Situationship is an excuse for avoiding commitment. It arises from the confusion of today's young who face the paradox of choices. I disagree that situationship is an option to be considered to figure out how to date or what one expects in a meaningful long term relationship.

[@alui5362]

Oh, krisha is a big yes, in case u guys are considering hiring her full time. Endorse!

[@coach.jaytee]

Going by Denise’s broken shoe analogy - it’s subjective but may not be a cop out. I guess the situationship can allow someone to define what a broken shoe is, how broken of a shoe can one accept before deciding whether to repair or change another shoe without the pressure of the idea of having to wear the shoe for the next 50 years or more.

[@andyhoo5358]

First!! So what i understand is, GenZ wants love but not the burden of experiencing the relationship.

[@-p0op0o]

BETTTT!!! Do an episode on GEN Z TERMS and SLANGS!! Would. be an interesting one 🙃

[@sharonlim2335]

Human’s emotions doesn’t work like an on off button switch but situational-ship make it sounds like you can selectively switch on and off your emotions 😅 When u are in an intimate r/s, regardless what u label as, there is an attachment, aka bond in layman term. When u put urself out there and expect that u won’t be wounded at e end of e day is unrealistic. It’s impt to also evaluate if there is a deeper issue that u are trying to run away from instead of seeking healing to heal the wounded part of your life. Use your 20s to discover who u are as a person and work towards wholeness as an individual first (and yet know that everyday we are always a work in progress until e day we die) before committing into a long term relationship.

[@pxchia1]

hey JP, I think you meant "demisexual" instead of "aromantic". Aromantics are people who don't experience romantic attraction to others (the same way asexuals don't experience sexual attraction to others), while demisexual refers to people who need to form an emotional connection with someone before they experience sexual attraction!

[@tulipsandpeaches1834]

Boys like Jon I run far far away from. Unsure of what one wants is a fair reason. Until one day one just becomes a guy who doesn't want to make promises and take up responsibilities.

[@leewn2319]

So situationship is “both song song shiok shiok will do”. Nearest Chinese term “逢场作戏” Just play play, happy ok, not ok bye lor, no commitment.

[@gs2782]

The modern day situationship is 2 irresponsible people acting and doing couple things while actively avoiding commitment responsibilities. It's basically like those people who go to clothing stores, purchase the shirt, keep the receipt, wear the shirt for god-knows-how-long with the tag still on, then returning it back to the store for refund. All the while looking for something else better while the current thing is convenient. In other words - TLDR; f*ck first, think later.

[@OBSidianRaptor]

So a situationship is basically a person who wants to get his/her needs met preying on an easy, giving person. Nothing new

[@OEL35]

Gen Z doesn’t like responsibilities

[@xuele94]

If i have got a argumentative topic on situationship. It's definitely a nah. Saw a comment earlier that some situationship turns into a relationship. Good for them. But face it that we have live without situationship for years. It's not needed but just a want n benefiting people who just wanna have fun and not think. You go through a phase called dating before deciding to be in a relationship... You can try to escape responsibilities when u r young, But face it that it's something that you need to learn to take up while growing up. Or people around you will just be pissed with you n you can't be with anyone. It's a impt trait even for work. Hearing the thoughts from gen Z that they think they can just play now without commitment n choose the age to look into commitment and deem that if the person can't wait it's not the right person. Sure... But i just want to say as a female it will always be at a losing end to have such thoughts. When u r ready, it does not mean it will definitely be the year u can finally choose a flower to be with. Sometimes you don't get any for years after. And you will likely reach the age that u r so desperate that you are dating shitty ppl one after another even after being warn by ppl around you. You can be regretting time wasted in ppl that never meet ur mark. Or be thankful that ok although i am single i have experience what i need to in a way? But honestly i feel it's too much of a losing end. Spending time on ppl who might not even deserve your time. Time is so precious. I would very much rather that you provide yourself more self love for the time being n build a better self than to use the time to mingle w wrong ppl. I would like to think being in a situationship u would like to think that the person have no rights or feelings in wanting to make u a better person. But i could be wrong since each situationship could be different and customised to individual through communication. I just want to say that if you love yourself enough, you won't want to share yourself with the wrong person. And much rather spend it with yourself or your true friends. Just a person thoughts. Side note: i can't decide my standpoint if this situationship thing will bring us more babies or less. Since it might involve sex at a earlier age does means risk of getting accidents is higher. But on a flip side if all is safe, thinking u can take your own sweet time to start a relationship as n when u want. Marriage will likely delay. Also spending will liekly increase with less saving since spending time with ppl usually increase cost required with better meals or for activities and increased living expenses. What r u thoughts? Haaa😂

[@rching7700]

Friends with Emotional Benefits sums it all up. Just wana be fancy and call it "Situationship" lol

[@tanchormay6447]

I prefer a one-night stand to a situationship😂 less messy and situationships do not usually end well

[@MrTakoyaki1992]

Its long-term testing water lah, definition decoded

[@chilly2171]

relationships are not situationships, situationships have no label.

[@KS-md4jj]

What is cop out?

[@kshirinkaur2030]

KRISHA IS AN ABSOLUTE SLAY

[@ben.s.s]

There’s whole Chinese song about this. Millennial call this 暧昧. Which translate to ambiguity in relationship. This is not a gen Z thing. But now they see it as positive, wherelse the older gen see this as negative.

[@jambalaya428]

Disagree on the part where it's advisable to learn about how to be in relationships with actual goals by being in a goal-less relationship. Your opinions are your own but let it be out there that I disagree with the whole idea. When you are in relationship with nothing to lose, you won't put in as much effort to keep it alive and you have no emotional investment in it. What are you possibly going to learn in such a situation that will improve a proper relationship?

[@veronicawong8396]

Sounds like licence to sleep around....no need for labels

[@Jameyyy1550]

Is jon wearing a nautilus 😮

[@benkuzaaa]

is John Paul wearing a Patek Philippe Nautilus?

[@filzahhanis]

INTERN please

[@richardneo]

If its a waste of time why even go into a relationship if you see no future . And what about the intimacy part ???? Just sleep and then part ways after that ???? Call me old school. Sorry.

[@JaniceQH93]

interesting.. millennial here✌️

[@justsomeoneelsee]

Intern!!

[@AbigailYeo]

INTERN

[@nekkioo]

ALGO

[@EIJIHS]

fk this topic seriously. Just makes me old LOL

[@Fujiwara.Takumi1]

0 view gang. Gonna be a banger of an episode

[@JuzNicky]

Be in the now so just enjoy the situation ? SITUATIONSHIP??? Situation ships are always there its the undefined definitions. Jared has some points. JP you are not the puu sehh Forming and emotional bond is the perquisite to a ship even a SITUATIONSHIP. different activities are done with different people. that's a situation. the ship is formed when both enjoy the activity with each other's company. some people are more extrovert which draws introverted persons. and vice versa. some people who usually are more home some will be willing to do out door activities which they like but only with some curtain persons and that is fine. but when persons widen that thin grey line with what ifs and with oh a boy n a girl pal won't do this curtain activity. or isn't one of them married ? why not do it with partner ? it just turns a lot of un needed what ifs into reality. enjoy what you like with who you like simple no ? also the double edge swords called labels, can have a mini series. also, Hey TDK crew !

[@endd3431]

Internnn

[@joncn005]

Situationship? Is this even approved by Oxford and Cambridge dictionary? Can you guys not make up words or not?

[@Ben-kh2rh]

Algooooo

[@benwong2061]

Algoooooooooooo

[@eeto_plays]

intern

[@eeto_plays]