She Needs Space From the Relationship (3 STEPS to WIN Her Back)

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Hey guys! Thanks for watching and I hope that was helpful. Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited) 💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass 🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions 🗣 Join the FB Group! -> facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329/

[@Chstyle69]

Hi Geoffrey, just discovered your videos. I find your videos very helpful. Is there a way of messaging you in private to discuss my situation? I would appreciate your feedback and support.

[@andyle3693]

Hi geoffrey. How does this apply to a marriage with kids? Do you just move out?

[@giltorres6346]

I DMed you on Instagram to ask your advice on my current situation as I am on a break with my GF. Hope you can take a look at it and respond. Thanks

[@lily_flower-n2n]

Hi geoffrey setiawan my wife asked for space but she asked me if I can leave the house that way she can miss me but we have kids and before she told me that she said I wouldn't want you to leave because the kids would miss you.

[@prashantkaushal5255]

Geoffrey Setiawan help me in my situation!

[@shawnpritchard366]

If she wants to take a break. She needs to win you back. Don't contact her. In the interim, if you haven't already been working on yourself, it's time to start. And then never stop working on yourself.

[@yashasvisrivastava6850]

What if I've tried to contact her multiple times and even tried to convince her into talking, and then I realised my mistake, so now we are in the no contact period. Will that make up for my mistake?

[@Jake.tm_politics]

​@@yashasvisrivastava6850 I've just got to that point as of today. Did anything work out for you?

[@Theyhatechayt]

Right timing 💯

[@chriss_volleyball]

I love this. Let her chase it back. Let her find out what she needs to but now she has to earn your mind, body, and soul.

[@willdov]

I’ve been in 4 relationships since 18 and I’m 24. The worst mistake I ever made was being controlling and not giving space when needed. Needless to say I’m now single again but I’m ready to learn and grow thanks to your video! 🔜👌🏻

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Hi Will, Yes, many of us displayed these behaviors. Here is a good place to start to begin to change this around. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass

[@Introvertedalpha]

Appreciated hearing your story!

[@jamesnolan9414]

My problem every time

[@willdov]

@@jamesnolan9414 really

[@ITST-CHO]

I am now going through this same situation at 23 and Word word I had the same problem of being controlling and not giving space. Its been rough.

[@tooth656]

I'm not a man, but this advice is helping soothe my anxiety attack and heartbreak. I'm starting to understand how I contributed to our issues and feel more hopeful about working on my marriage. Thank you for your channel.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Hi tooth656, My advice is applicable to all people and here is another great video if you are struggling with anxiety. kzbin.info/www/bejne/gnyTmH1tpKuWn6c

[@iechiefcherokee3807]

Look for god and you will find out your need to rebuild your faith and foundation you will be helped of you pray and dedicate yourself to the lord

[@eddysantos4528]

This right here !

[@sebastianmichalek8562]

Hang in there guys. Many of us were groomed to keep our emotions hidden and now that the world is changing we are behind. We need to be more vocal about our emotions but like many guys I don't know how to correctly vocalize my emotions.

[@sonurabha2142]

I cannot thank you enough man, i was in a breakdown after 6 years of relation she wanted space and things looked so bad you taught me everything i was doing wrong and finally i won her back after 2 months of never ending time i am really thankful to you man thank you so much 🔥

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Haha I love it! I may need to start doing some KZbin success stories. Glad I played a role in helping you to achieve the relationship of your dreams.

[@user-bt9vs4ix1n]

My girlfriend and I broke up a week ago. She asked me to respect her and give her space. Of course out of pain I didn’t. I’ve been calling 15x a day. I’ve been crying to her. I’ve been begging for her to respond to texts. Am I too late to try this? Or can I just start it now? How do I try your method after being very emotional and obsessive for the first few days since she broke up with me?

[@sonurabha2142]

@@user-bt9vs4ix1n Stay calm give her space and then you'll know the right time to approach but right now there's no way she's coming back just wait nothing else u can do

[@Rbear266]

@@sonurabha2142 I’ve been like 2 weeks without contact during space man and we still love eachother I think, you think it’s cool to reach out just to ask how they are doing? What did you do?

[@sonurabha2142]

@@Rbear266 Well its better if you dont reach out. Try and be yourself for sometime get yourself busy with work or maybe studies just wait out 2 more weeks then maybe you can reach out but right now just wait. In my case i know how it burns in the chest i went through hell but i guess it was all to make me better now that i understand so try and understand the situation make yourself better if she is meant to be she will be ✌

[@sikhuh]

Man this is my relationship 100% literally step by step the way you broke it down. Thank you for the great advise.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

That's awesome man :) Glad it spoke to you!

[@josephmischel5292]

Did it work?

[@sharavananshanmugaraju]

@carlos blatant assumptions are one of the reasons we are here mate 😅

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

@@josephmischel5292 Yes, John is one of our star students mate.

[@andre168]

Have ever you discussed what happen when she ask for break and she started dating for someone else? It sounds like an excuse for her to push me out from her live. Btw. We married for 24 years, kids already grown up to understand whole things.

[@shareshareshare8590]

I've been a bit controlling and insecure about her past. Yesterday, she asked for space, just for a few days, and hinted that she wanted at least one day without being bothered by me. She said she was tired but still loves me. Initially, I resisted, begged, and got mad, but eventually, I gave her the space she wanted. The good news is, she still updates me when she gets to work. I intended to go no contact, but when she updated me, I sent a brief message like, "Don't forget to bring drinking water," and then left her alone as she requested. I didn't react on social media by deactivating my profile or sharing sad posts like I usually would. Later, during her workday, she messaged me as if nothing had happened, and now we're back to normal. The lesson here is to give her the space she asks for. Keep contact minimal and avoid bringing up any issues during that time if you do message.

[@ravisookram7078]

My gf said this to me and I reacted badly thank you for this advice

[@ne0n3yez59]

@Rachel Wilson because i didn't realize how important she is to me and just how much i love her until after she broke up with me and told me to give her space

[@NoObKiLlerS117]

@Rachel Wilson very cunty response

[@mishabalsh8771]

@@NoObKiLlerS117 no, it s a good one indeed

[@harry6044]

Dude you just helped me in a way that no one could. My girlfriend told me she needed a break yesterday and things happened exactly how you lay them out. Everything you mentioned from the beginning of the video to the end happened to us and now it led her no choice but to take a break from our relationship. Thank you so much.

[@hrushikeshnibandhe4139]

did she come back..?

[@deepfriedking]

@@hrushikeshnibandhe4139 after she slept with chad and he kicked her to curb. probably pregnant as well

[@standground7956]

I’ve been with my fiancé for years 3yrs total. 7 months ago she asked for a break with no contact to work on herself, but didn’t give a timeline. She said that no matter what she does make sure I don’t break the no contact rule. I didn’t fight it or try to make her feel about it. I moved to a different apartment, relocated to a different branch with the same company within the city. I don’t contact her or check in. I ignored all her calls and texts. Deleted texts and voicemails without reading. Not to be mean but because I didn’t want to break the no contact rule. I’ve been tempted to answer her calls or call her but I don’t want to let her down. It’s been tough but I haven’t even spoken to another woman during this break. How long do these breaks normally last?

[@harry6044]

It was a break with timeline and she contacted me last weekend. But, but she asked to see me in person just to let me know things aren't working out. We dated over 5 years and she just left me like that with no closures or whatsoever. Really one of the worst times of my life right now.

[@standground7956]

@@harry6044 I’m sorry, I couldn’t imagine. She gave you no explanation whatsoever. 5 years is a long time, did you guys every talk about marriage or long term? Did she mention that she was seeing someone else?

[@williamhowardtaft8394]

Wish I saw this earlier. We're about a month into giving each other space, been on good terms the whole time but sometimes I had a lot of trouble controlling my emotions and I got a little excessive with the how are you texts for the first week or so. Now that I'm seeing this, I'm really realizing that patience is key.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Hi Martin Van Buren, Why wait, start now.

[@tnxdot2565]

So any update about you guys? Im in the same position

[@williamhowardtaft8394]

@@tnxdot2565 she kind of showed me through our communication that she's not really who I thought she was and we've been no contact for about a month. I still kind of do have some sort of feelings for her left but I'm pretty comfortable being single right now. I put the pieces together that explain why she acted that way but now it's to a point where any sort of communication has to come from her end because I realized it's not worth my time, I've done all I can do.

[@tnxdot2565]

@@williamhowardtaft8394 oh man. Im sorry to hear that. But at least you poured it all on the table so you've got nothing to hold on for. Cheers to our hearts whose trying to find clarity. Keep going man! Im here if you want to talk out sometime since we both are in the same situation.

[@etzjunior_]

@@tnxdot2565 dude I’m literally going through the same thing. 3 weeks ago she talked about a break and broke up with me. Later she came back and said she didn’t mean it. She’s just going through mental problems. And she says she still wants to date me. Now this week she started acting weird again and she’s trying to avoid me. I told her yesterday that I love her and guess what her response was? She literally said “I have no mood for love right now, I need to go buy something “. Now today I asked her again if she loves me, she says “As a friend yea, as something else nah”. At this point now I’m genuinely pissed.

[@marksturdivant5022]

I am following your advice and reflecting on all that has happened within my relationship. We have our issue but love is there. I am continuing to listen and grow. Thanks a million.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Wonderful!

[@SaggleSac]

How did it go?

[@GC-he8ji]

How did this pan out

[@freddiewyles800]

Jheeeze you are spot on. My girl just said she wants a break and it’s no selfish it’s because she wants to save the relationship. Thanks

[@verardotovar7694]

I needed this, I was blinded by my own actions trying to force something when in reality I just have to back off and do my own thing

[@danwhite7678]

Thank you from a man that judged you by your age and actually listened to what you had to say. I sincerely appreciate the information you've presented.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

No worries, one of my clients and now one of my team members Jason tells me the story often of doing the very same things. Watch our interview to see where he shares this with you all. Still makes me laugh. kzbin.info/www/bejne/fKDbm4SVg6iojNE

[@TheJoselynerubi]

Omg this is exactly the reason why I asked him for a break... I really miss him but the relationship was getting so difficult. I felt he wasn't understanding or hearing what I really needed to feel appreciated....

[@jairus9161]

joselyne rubi so what now. Because this is basically my relationship

[@JaHm3sZ]

How are you guys now

[@TheJoselynerubi]

We went back together... Coronavirus happened, he panicked, he just saw me 3 times from March to September. He wasn't working since a year and some months ago, he was a couch potato. And we broke up like a month ago. I was suffering in the relationship, I wasn't happy, I was frustrated, he didn't want to change, he said he would stay in that hole until I don't know when.... I wanted to have my own family, but I can't have babies with a 30 year old child . He didn't want help. During the last week he tried to change, I was sick of the situation already. He blocked me from everywhere and I haven't known about him since then.

[@JaHm3sZ]

@@TheJoselynerubi sorry to hear that. my gf wanted another break 2 weeks ago. But I'm scared because it's the same thing and doesn't think I've changed. But our last break was 2 years ago and I use to chase her that time. This time I'm not so I hope this helps a lot honestly. I'm scared she's just done with everything cuz she told my friend that. We been together 10 years. But idk if she's actually done. Why not just end it now? Any advice you have so I snap convince her il approach and showcase change differently?

[@JaHm3sZ]

@@MrAndres212able we officially broke up in April because she was hooking up with her manager. I vented out to one of my friends and now I'm dating her. My ex ended up breaking up with her current bf cuz he was cheating on her withing two months of being in a relationship. My current relationship is holding pretty strong.

[@3v3pirat37]

Im going through this right now, and Im doing my best to better myself. I would try and explain that she was doing the same things as I was being accused of and she would shut down. I didnt beg or plead when she asked for space, I said that I think it would be healthy for us both. Im only talking to her when we have to exchange our daughter. We talked for 4 hours prior to her leaving and Im so proud of myself that I stayed calm the whole time. Thanks for this amazing video, your calm way to explain a difficult topic is amazing !

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Sure thing! Glad it was valuable to you. I would also recommend watching this video if you have not already. It outlines ways you can conduct your conversations that prevents arguments and opens both of you up for better communication. kzbin.info/www/bejne/pIjSlY15gtGApNU

[@theguyishere668]

How did it turned out?

[@Greenmike17]

I’m going through the exact same thing. We have a son together. How are you guys now?

[@anthonybell9629]

I can’t thank you enough for having these perfectly detailed videos. A lot of times we as men get tones of bad advice when we’re in these marriage situations. Thank you and I will continue to watch your videos.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Awesome Anthony. Glad you appreciate the work we put into these videos. We definitely are here to counter a lot of the toxic advice we get from "experts" in this industry.

[@jaynavygrey]

just started day 1 of no contact. this is great content. it is very hard to learn and gain that control you speak of when all you want to do is support your partner.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Hi jermaine C, Check out this video here to see my ah to this topic. kzbin.info/www/bejne/bJLOf2utgqqWbLM

[@rinil_joshy_palackan]

What's the update bro??

[@skull-_-y1212]

this is some sound real advice no mind games no hit the gym bro just real emotionally intelligent stuff thank you.

[@yongjunming2715]

Only dude thst made sense n have frameworks so underrated

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Thanks my guy!

[@599Pacman]

I force unconditional love time after time again and I know she doesn’t deserve that self love from my part!

[@pakerandmak]

I caused my girlfriend (ex) to feel hopelessness about the relationship by constantly reacting poorly to conflict and not giving her the comfort and trust the relationship needs for her to be able to unpack her baggage and relationship issues with me. However, I am really hoping to instil this trust again and work on myself during this break period so we can have a healthy relationship dynamic once again.

[@morpheous4599]

Plz help dude i am going thru same thing totally the same i did the same thing i wasnt reactive enought and she felth hopeless and desperate

[@KaiqueThementalist]

for all of you going through tough times I wish you the best!! make sure you improve yourself and be the best version of yourself and she will eventually see this and want you back! but if it isnt meant to be then move on and be stronger and never do the things you've done before to anyone else. Learn from your mistakes and let that pain make you into a beast!! join the gym get shredded and I promise you brothers, you will attract everyone around you.

[@trev1769]

I just wanted to say - over the last 6 months I had to work extremely hard to save my relationship. I watched almost every single one of your videos on KZbin multiple times. And found your mindset shifts and advice to be EXTREMELY helpful. Thank you

[@hugochapon3693]

I rarely comment videos but this one really helped me man. She left me a couple of weeks ago and I really recognize myself in the things you said. Now I started to work on myself, going to the gym, be more productive. Even if she doesn't want to come back then these efforts will pay in the long term for me. Thank you

[@HanokYahYasharAl]

Did she come back bro?

[@prachisutariya6274]

This is the exact relationship problem I have been facing since so long .. This has really really helped me a lot , I could feel myself in it thoroughly . This video has made me feel that I’m right at my own place to feel such things n to stop doubting on myself. Thank you so much

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Love it!

[@jamesroboyle]

I believe that having your own friends are important to a healthy relationship. I am starting to realize that after 14 years with my gf . I’m starting to talk to my friends again after all these years (5years) . But it goes to show that we all need our “me” time .

[@adaptercrash]

Okay and they are using them in the studio same thing as teenage mutant Ninja turtles

[@maxb4210]

That’s what’s making my struggle 10x harder. Just got out the military a few months ago and back home everyone either left or we’re just not compatible. Only have 1 close friend who’s also moving soon, need new friends asap

[@FadiGamingRP]

I been doing the right thing and helping my partner become better with finances, trust me, it doesn't always get better. People are who they are

[@domt4588]

Exactly how I felt! I had to tell my boyfriend I needed space and time to figure things out. The relationship was exhausting me emotionally. I do love him

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Hi Dom T, Do you agree with me on the reasons why you choose to want to go at this alone and figure things out by yourself and not with your partner?

[@Rbear266]

Did you take him back?

[@carlquinn73]

Did you end up giving him another chance? Im in your boyfriends shoes but i saw what i done wrong , understood why shes in pain and wanted to show her i can change but i feel its too late

[@Rbear266]

Just met my girlfriend after a month of space and she told me she thinks we should end the relationship, and now she’s going back to a different state. It’s been a rollercoaster. And I did everything I learned from Geoffrey kept my calm. And even though I told her I still have hope part of me is crushed.

[@Markdaamannn]

@@carlquinn73 same Carl that’s the hard part man

[@yorickroumimper]

First of. Thanx for the advice. I am in a break right now. I recognized a lot of the key notes. Adding: - dont become a pleaser. - build your own life but do it for yourself (not sharing every step on your socials) - if you are going through a hard time; surround yourself with loved ones. - keep a journal for your thoughts. Writing does help. What could you 2 have done better or what do you wish for the future. - be available but only so much. Set boundaries for your own good. You might save the relationship but is it worth it your own health?

[@civilizedcobra6765]

Me and my wife just separated. I have enlisted in the course to better my self . Your words have help me take the first steps in changing my self for the better . Thank you Geoffrey your the man with the plan .

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Hi CivilizedCOBRA, Awesome! Looking forward to seeing your MASSIVE growth to become the very BEST version off yourself!

[@lamarquescoleman9747]

Did your wife come back?

[@_multiverse_]

This is spot on. I should have watched this a long time ago. Every time she had a concern, I felt attacked and defended myself. This ended up in her getting hurt and the destruction of the emotional safety. When she asked for a break I broke down and asked her not to. She left about a month later. We're working on rebuilding the relationship and seeing a couples therapist but we're separated and living apart now. This is exactly how she felt and why she left.

[@Tom-ud8js]

Hi, how is it looking for you two now? Are you together?

[@_multiverse_]

@@Tom-ud8js It ended up not working out l but it was for the best. Not sure about her but my life is a lot better off.

[@Zack-lt4fl]

This video is EXACTLY what I desperately needed. It put a lot of things into an incredible perspective that I haven't been able to see for a long time. Thank you.

[@larat1518]

On point! We were fighting over little things constantly, then talked it out, then fought again, then I told him I'm so unsure not only about the relationship itself but also my feelings for him decreased... so he said that's not a base for a relationship, we both decided that it's best to have some distance also for me to get clearance. After a few days I told him I really felt how much pressured I felt lately in the relationship, that everything is alright so far, I'm at my friends place (he needs to be close always, often called 3 times a day when I was still in home office and he wasn't anymore, even though we live together) and that I really need this space and asked him to please give me that space, especially after me struggling with setting boundaries beforehand in this relationship. After 1,5 weeks he set a deadline, telling me I have to have made up my mind, he can't do this... So we HAD to meet and talk, I had no choice. We fought again and broke up. Talked, still both wanted to try somehow but I left. I feel so unseen and misunderstood. It still doesn't feel right to stop trying. I don't know what to do

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

try joining my free 90 min masterclass to learn more. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass

[@BeanieNinjay0]

For dudes reading this woman’s comment. This is an example of how a guy SHOULDNT act. Being needy, making demands, and setting an ultimatum in an attempt to take control.

[@thisisqmusic]

I have questions

[@davidmoss2576]

When someone ask for space give them all the space they need. Do not ask why, do not beg, and most importantly do not EVER take them back. Every couple needs time apart to miss one another, and should have time for themselves. But that is much different than someone asking you for a break. A break is someone asking for a hall pass to see what's out there and guilt free way of cheating. Let them go and find someone worth your time and effort.

[@kristenfuller9168]

Went through this a few days ago and that's what I did respected my boyfriend's wishes at first I did begged then I stopped. he came back to me eventually

[@luisramirez-ut8vh]

Thanks man. 2 year old video and it’s still helping people, I’m going through this right now and all that “she belongs to the streets now” crap was getting to my head. I’m the one who messed up by projecting crap from my previous partner on her.

[@brandonmoskos9149]

Man, you are really spot on, on what is going on with my fiance and I. I really think she keeps things bottled in to avoid conflict, but she feels if she speaks up, she will get angry and say things she does not mean out of anger. So, she feels hopeless right now.

[@j7perkins]

Currently my wife has asked for a separation. Initially, I refused this idea and pushed myself on her more with gifts and chores. I have since realized that I was smothering her. I was forcing her to stay. It became toxic to the children, her, and myself. This video has helped me realize that. Thank you for this.

[@lukeleonardrasmussen3550]

Dude, thanks for your videos. This one is actually where I am with my wife now. My anger issues led to our separation. I'm working on myself and my anger issues. Over time I'm positive we will see thru this and be able to mend our marriage.

[@temka758]

Did it end well?

[@muhammadhuzaifa5156]

The human mind is like muscle. It takes time for it to develop. Took me 4 years to be in control of my anger issue

[@activitylog1655]

Great Job on this Geoffrey. I definitely agree with your point of not begging, pleading or getting angry. Interestingly enough this pushes them further away and a lot of the time can show selfishness and/or scarcity which neither is attractive. Doing the opposite gives you a much higher chance to salvage the relationship with the person you are dating/in a relationship with and demonstrates emotional stability. Great vid.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Thanks Javon :) Honor coming from you.

[@bonohaha5371]

She said she needs to be alone I still want her bro I’m in love with her bro my heart fucking hurts I don’t want her to leave

[@ne0n3yez59]

im dealing with all this right now. i can't sleep, i can't eat, if i do eat its junk. it feels like my chest is on fire when i think about never being with her again. and i think i pushed her completely away.

[@ne0n3yez59]

we have 10yrs together

[@yahirpurcell5962]

@@ne0n3yez59 hows it going bro?

[@ne0n3yez59]

@@yahirpurcell5962 not good. Im an emotional wreck. And I don't know how to deal with any of it. She won't even text me and she's already im another relationship just that fast. I've tried talking with other women but I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Like I shouldn't be doing it.

[@yahirpurcell5962]

@@ne0n3yez59 she went into another relationship a month after the breakup??

[@hodltheblunt8543]

Just saw this for the first time and just got on a break with my girl of 5 yrs. So tough but everything was accurate so will follow the advice and pray everything works better!

[@rinil_joshy_palackan]

What's the update bro??

[@jean-paulescobar6491]

7 years with my girl bro I don’t wanna lose her

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

If you don't want to lose her, you have to grow into someone she can't find anywhere else, someone who is irreplaceable. What does growing into someone who is irreplaceable look like to you?

[@adaml7349]

Asking for “space” or a “break” is just a nice way of saying she wants nothing to do with you. Just leave her be and make yourself better

[@darklaw7635]

A more detailed piece of advice, when she tells you to take a break, ask why and LISTEN!!!! Even if it triggers you, don't REACT!! put of courtesy, ask a workaround but if she wants to the break regardless, keep a mindset that the relationship OVER!!! If she loves you, she will come back. NEVER INITIATE CONTACT AFTERWARDS!!

[@tha-real-talk1176]

It's scary how accurate he just described my current situation with my wife... im giving her space but the uncertainty is the worst but ill step back give her her time she needs...

[@digidrum2003]

Same here....my wife left 1 month ago and I have 2 teen kids at home . How is it going with you and your wife now?

[@halentipene5596]

It’s the hardest thing to do, but the best thing you can do for yourself is to let her go, if she was serious about you, she’d still be around.

[@stuartharber1979]

Wow, this sums up my relationship perfectly and everything I've done wrong.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Hi Stuart, Thank you! Am happy that this video was helpful… If you’d like to learn more, you can join our free masterclass here. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass At the end of this masterclass, you will also get some information on how you can submit your application for the program. And in case you’re curious as to how life-changing this program is, or how it is MILES beyond what other programs can offer, check out the links below! Client Review Videos: kzbin.info/aero/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU Client Review Screenshots: drive.google.com/drive/folders/1Gp8UpRV9uMlFx763BfuQnEqN930FQb7b?usp=sharing

[@hellomynameis7994]

I feel you bro im going thru this myself its hard to figure things out because our emotions fucks up everything just wanna ask you tho... did you end up getting your ex back?

[@stuartharber1979]

@@hellomynameis7994 no am we haven't seen or spoken in all that time but I've come out a much better person than I went in and feel amazing for it

[@chinestory2095]

just watched a video about two Japanese couples stay in separate rooms for 30 years even though they are very connected. the reason being need space.

[@L6FT]

This is gold thank you. I feel like engaging the world and my loved one wholeheartedly. I really feel an opening in my chest when realizing this, since it is the best I can do, and whatever the outcome, I've worked from my heart and done what feels right, which is the best I can do for myself and others.

[@JoseTorres-lz5gw]

I'm recently going through this situation right now and it's really crazy how you described everything and how much Sense it made and actually how much sense it makes but the instant change negative feelings are gone and that took me a long time

[@elizabethmeonoz9294]

wow ! so true, I dated this guy who treated me badly, I left, and never looked back, he realized what he lost, but now I said I needed space and never called back for these reasons . all of these emotions are exactly what women go through.

[@jaspersmith5748]

I’m guilty of complacency, in all avenues. We got too comfortable in our routines, and stopped checking on each other.

[@luisvillalpando533]

Hey, me and the girl I love have recently decided to take a step back and work on ourselves for the time being. For the first few days I realized I was being excessive with my texts and almost forcing her to talk to me in a way. This video gave me a lot of hope and am sure one day me and her will be able to resolve things and begin dating once again. I hope the best for both of us on this break we are giving each other and will keep you guys updated. Thank you so much. I love you Aymara .

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Love it! Thank you for your comment and support.

[@Indigo2w]

Aye bro did it work out?

[@luisvillalpando533]

@@Indigo2w Hey, so it’s been about 2 months since I wrote that and just forgot to revisit it so thanks for deploying dawg lmfao. And we did end up talking about our relationship and our future about a month after no contact and decided it was best for both of us to just go out separate ways. We aren’t close anymore, I still have her contact but I haven’t texted her since then. She has another boyfriend now but I am deciding to just focus on school, baseball, and hang out with friends and family right now to take a time off of dating. The first three days after the break up were the worse (especially the morning after). I feel much better now, I don’t think about her much anymore unless someone mentions her and am just low key happy because break ups happen for a reason and sooner or later you will thank yourself for accepting a break up and going on with your life. She was a good person, but she wasn’t for me if that makes sense. No contact definitely works but only when it’s meant to be.

[@elliottwhite5317]

It's taken me a while to be able to leave her to have her space. Because we have been together all the time. I know a lot of the problems we are having have be me. Communication, loyalty, honesty. But through this time I've really been working on me and my weaknesses.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Good stuff! Let me know how I can support you!

[@abdulaimkargbo9317]

I my self I am presently going true the same presently in my relationship 😢

[@r4ymaster]

Did she ever got back with you?

[@nailamir1754]

@@GeoffreySetiawan I have some relationship problems can I get an appointment from you after watching your videos , I realize one thing that only you have my problem solutions

[@kingjohnjuly]

I am having same problem

[@fenixa21AND]

Hey guys. So my ex broke up with me before a week. Today I went to her and explained my love to her. Ofc I had the hopes that this would make her decide to get back but now I understood that she wanted to end it for our own good. She wanted to ( grow up ) she needs to focus on university. And in general on her life. I told her I respect that and that we will be staying friends and that I'm here for her. Btw I'm the only 1 she has ( as friend ) in the city. I also feel better that I explained how much and the way I love her. She understood it. But she also knows her feelings. Pray for me to get her back someday because she is the girl of my dreams...

[@fenixa21AND]

@@WHN1braj hey. Yeah we are " kinda " back together. I'm looking to focus as well on my life and not to spam her all the time. We meet from time to time when we both have time and for now things are looking quite good. The lession I learned was that you must show that you can accept it as a loss and continue with your life, showing her that she can lose you without you telling her that ofc. Give her some time without writing her and if she gets back to you, then she probably loves you and doesn't want to lose you. But from there on just keep it chill and focus more on yourself. Show her you have self respect. She will be more attracted to you that way

[@blinkyblink6308]

Your video makes so much sense. Really appreciate the advice. Going out with gf for 3 years. Said she needed space, to work on herself, figure out what she wants in life. She said coming to the point where she needs to be absolutely sure and settle down. Initially i begged and pleaded..wish i saw this video earlier. She wants to take a break, except its not even that, she said she not been single since she was 18, and needs to be on her own and focus on herself to enable herself to truly discover what she wants, and being attached to someone will stop her doing that. She said its not about dating other men, but said to me that im allowed (as well as her but again, 'its not about that for her....) to date/sleep with whoever as it would be unfair for me to just wait. She said she wants to miss me again...didnt like the dynamic as she was my main focus. I know i need to build value in myself and have other things in my life that arent all about her, i can see how that is more attractive. She said she would like to date as new people in a month or two and for both of us to let each other know if feelings change... What do you think, from what ive said, is this is completely done, and should expect nothing?...i am trying to move on but insanely, I expect that we'll see each other again as new people with new desires and objectives. I just dont want to hope too much as it seems done and dusted and be even more crushed... Great channel and video, again, really good advice. No contact has just started only a couple of days ago and i feel a bit silly how i acted when it was first mentioned...anyway thanks again!

[@818guy6]

Are u still in no contact? My girl was going through alot , family deaths. (2) and possibly having to get her parents help to buy a new house or them move in with her. I kept expecting i love yous , and stuff through out the tough times. She told me she needed space. Although she didnt say it clearly at first. And i took it on the bad side. Showed up to her house by trynna surprise her and little did i know , i was pushing her more. She also has 2 kids to worry bout. Been on no contact for 3 days. But havent seen her for 2 weeks. I get the urge to send a text saying what ive learned , and my understanding now. But idk if itll be a good time rn. :/ she told me she would let me know when shes ready and also 2 weeks ago said shes not leaving me. Im trynna stay postive :/

[@818guy6]

The waiting game is killing me :/

[@blinkyblink6308]

@@818guy6 seeing her again. Going on 'dates.' Lol... Best thing i can say mate from my experience and what ive learnt. If she needs space give her space. She said she isnt leaving you. She just needs her time. A text, or phone call wont change that. You cant make her feel what you want her to feel. Only she has the power to do that. Contact from you at this point is only detrimental to potentially solving this between you two. Stay strong, she will contact you , and when she does, be positive and dont smother her with enotion and when can i see you bla bla. Let her chase and work for you a bit. Youre the catch. Anyway. Late. Off to sleep. Good luck!

[@blinkyblink6308]

@@818guy6 also. Her situation is very different to most. Tragic event. Gonna be tough for her.

[@818guy6]

@@blinkyblink6308 thank you my dude!! Thats for giving me hope and positivity :)

[@billbaxter6677]

My dad told me about your channel and that I should look into it. You helped him tremendously with his relationship between him and his wife and I’m hoping to get at least a fraction of the assistance he got. My girlfriend left me two days ago and took the dogs with her. Nights are the hardest. Never thought silence could be so loud. Right now she is very set on our relationship is over and beyond repair, but I would like to try to repair it. I’m not even halfway through the video and you have already given me insight on where I have been falling short in my relationship with her. I’m already thankful to see what I haven’t been seeing for years. I just hope that she doesn’t stay on the flight path of us being done for good and join my fight to fix our relationship as I am. That’s probably the controlling and emotional part of me speaking, but a man can hope right?

[@raymondgerardcarls4741]

how are you now?

[@jeffroberts743]

Been watching a lot of your videos and it blows my mind how many comments you reply to. Your level of commitment is incredible. You are helping so many people who feel helpless and don't have anywhere else to turn and for that I want to thank you! If everyone was as committed to their relationship as you are to your comment section you wouldn't have a need for a youtube channel lol

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Haha, thank you. I try not to miss a one. I also reply to each and everyone of the questions and comments in our private community for the last 3 years. We average over 60 posts a day and growing.

[@wulfclaw4921]

Brother, thanks for caring enough to make all the difference. God bless you and yours, Wulfy

[@tammie3583]

Oh my gosh, Geoffrey. You have just described my situation to a "T". I appreciate your teachings very much.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

I am really glad to hear that!

[@harvey143L]

I am glad I found this video. It's an eye opener to guys who experienced the same thing as me. Thank you, Geoffrey!

[@jaxontaylor9162]

Anybody who may be going through this at the moment, or see this coming… this video is genuinely the best advice I have ever heard and is very relatable to most situations where breaks are necessary

[@priceboi]

Do you think I should still send good morning/goodnight texts?

[@chilldad3740]

I felt the terror and acted on it to the point she reacted aggressively. I am going through my own problems and taking my step back as well. This video helps me better understand what I should do for myself and her. Thank you for the guidance.

[@SocialConfidenceMastery]

Mind-blowing advice here!

[@Knucklezz316]

I’m trying this thing that I’ve been taught growing up. Speak when spoken too. I only talk to her when she reaches out. The only bad thing is that after a while I can continue on without her and won’t speak to her even when she reaches out. I’m at a point where I’m being okay with being alone again and getting use to how quiet the house is so it’s only a matter of time before I move on and she’ll become another chapter in my book but I do hope she works on herself and I’ll be here when she needs me the most.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Hi knuckles 316, Watch this video below to see why I think smart contact or no contact is a bad idea. kzbin.info/www/bejne/aWOaonWGaLKsmJY

[@justinmet5785]

I would love to see a video about being confident and how to handle everything at this time

[@randyeads3207]

I have to give her space but I'm scared to let go. We have two kids together and I miss her so much

[@kylew791]

I signed up for your program. I am just in the very beginning stages. (Before the starting the program) I messed up initially and did all the classic crap - got angry that she did this, blew a top when I thought some guy was moving in on her, begged her, etc., etc. I spent a lot of time with her this weekend and the kids since it was Halloween and my son's b-day. My weaknesses/lack of control kept finding me trying to force her affection and me getting angry when she rejected my advances. We spoke in depth last night (face-to-face) on how I understand her feelings and am going to improve. I am finally understanding that the distance is needed for ME too. Now that is over, and I've awakened more over the past week of being away, I plan to really give her SPACE. I'm not going to ignore her if she reaches out to me but I am allowing her to make the next move. I will see her at church on Wednesday. My son's birthday is today and I just plan on dropping a present by the house and leaving. Really trying to minimize the contact here and allowing US time to heal and grow.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Hi Optimus Prime, I am not sure if I have enrolled any transformers into the program lately. Haha. Just kidding. We are happy to have you on board and I am excited to see you grow.

[@c46236]

If she is asking for space no matter the apparent reason or the way she doing it(either explicitly or implicitly like ignoring you) at any time of the relation, and that makes you unconfortable, be aware that is doing that because she is deeply insecure. Your feeling is good you have a disturbed person in your hands, you better run and never look back. I've learned in the hard way with my exes. Don't try to do what this dude teaches you, you don't wait and go work on yourself, when the other is fucked up 😅

[@seriouslyshortofnormal925]

She's gonna do what she's gonna do anyway so you might as well not react and be about a purpose that benefits you. She likely wants that break to cheat and see if the new guy will replace you anyway. If she wants a break give it to her, permanently, and don't take her back when she comes around. She can be in your stable but commitment should be off the table as she's already betrayed your trust by throwing you away once.

[@saidtxsx5411]

i strongly disagree. I don’t know who hurt you but women aren’t monsters. Yes some are but some are loving and caring. I’m in the break situation right now and you never know what’s happening but I also trust her to not do that. Women aren’t terrible. And sometimes they just need more time to recoup and figure out their feelings.

[@seriouslyshortofnormal925]

@saidtxsx5411 You sound really insecure there, just FYI. Who are you trying to convince, me or yourself?

[@saidtxsx5411]

@@seriouslyshortofnormal925 I used to be very insecure. I soon started to trust the person. But what we have to realize is that anything can happen no matter what you do but it is still extremely unfair to just generalize your hatred for women. Yes some are bad and some are good but its up to you to choose. That's all im saying.

[@seriouslyshortofnormal925]

@saidtxsx5411 You're making a faulty assumption: I don't hate women. I am generalizing though, because generalizations are useful and they help to temper expectations. This is just my lived experience. Find out what she's up to because it sounds like you're just coping with your own anxiety: trust but verify.

[@saidtxsx5411]

@@seriouslyshortofnormal925 Im at a point where it isn't my business anymore. What she does is what she does and if she doing something, thats her loss and we move. i appreciate the conversation though. And I see where you are coming from now. Sorry if I originally came off emotional mate.

[@DextMan897]

Thanks for the video. It's really hard to get a true quality content about "in need space" subject. Cause most of video i have seen, handle the situation in a toxic way. You are the first one to handle it in a very mature and simple way cause sometime, when someone say "i need space", that person mean it. There is no cheating or desire to stop relation behind, just the person need space to rebuild her/his "individual". So the best things to do is to let that person the space she/he wants. Also i wanted to add one more point. Sometime, the problem is inside the partner who ask for distance. It's important to understand partner's background, where he/she came from, what he/she have been through, with who? was it toxic? for how long? After all these events, did he/she manage time to recover or he/she jump into a new relation? I believe there is always a timing for a new relation, and when someone didn't had the time to fix her/his inner shadow, then at some point, she/he might need some space and your advice are really usefull on that case too.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Thanks for the kind words! Glad this resonated with you :)

[@anthonymichellekitchens6148]

This guy is young but he speaks wisdom and facts.

[@vinovigor1632]

This is Arvin. I'm still watching this once a week, in order for me to understand her for everything she do everyday.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Awesome VIno, I will keep making amazing videos for you to watch. lol.

[@anubhavbiswas8197]

I am listening to this, and it feels like I'm listening to my personal life story. Oh god it's hundred percent relatable. I don't want to give that break because I fear of losing her permanently. That's the reason why I always insist her to stay with me and give it another shot. But it doesn't work, rather adds more bitterness.

[@andrewklinke4791]

literally in the same boat bro

[@anubhavbiswas8197]

@@andrewklinke4791 what have u done

[@thestartupguy3975]

dude me too. im in the same situation. im trying not to overthink but i cant help it. this is the most scared ive ever been

[@NickPalumboCulver]

This is what I needed to hear today. Unfortunately I haven't been the greatest partner and I see and realize my mistakes and my bad behaviors over the last few years. She wants time and space and I've been struggling to give this to her but after watching this I really just need to give her this time and space. Living together while this is happening makes it incredibly tough and hard to navigate in the last week. Thank you for this video.

[@jordanremington]

Same exact position as yourself. 7.5 year relationship and she left me. She always said she didn’t want kids and then literally the week we break up she says she met someone and he has kids. I’m devastated and just overall miserable right now. Life goes on, better yourself and you’ll find someone who appreciates your growth. I’m here for you dude.

[@GC-he8ji]

@@jordanremingtonso how are u handling my girl off n on for 6 yrs just pulled a move everything out while I was gone move and now she’s saying we can be cordial and co parent just looking for some insight since u said y’all have yrs invested

[@GC-he8ji]

@@jordanremingtonmeant handling the situation

[@jordanremington]

@GC-he8ji the best way to 'get back' at her is to better yourself. It's cliché, but if you better yourself, get in shape, start enjoying life, she might see that and decide to talk. If she's done, then she's done, and you need to respect that. Begging for them back, making promises will only push her away harder. If you don't love yourself, why is it fair for someone else to love you? If you hate who you are, why would you want someone to love someone you hate? I'm not saying that you hate yourself, but a lot of this stuff stems from something that's been festering. I stopped working on me and became a biter, cynical person and coped by gaming non-stop and sitting around all day. Go outside, go to the gym, live a happy life and maybe she'll see the changes you're willing to make, and then MAYBE, that opens a dialogue to getting back together. If it doesn't, well now you're in better shape, loving yourself and the right one will find you when you least expect it. Head up brother, this too shall pass. Wish I could be more help, I feel for you.

[@GC-he8ji]

@@jordanremington Preciate it I was hoping I were going to give me the cheat code but in a sense u did I plan on doing all those things I recently just had a heart attack and she was there by my side 2 months later she’s not so just trying to evaluate the situation

[@ronaldjennings8544]

i have already started phase 1 is giving her space and no texting but will wish her for Christmas and will make sure to mention it to her that i am working on myself.

[@CyrusKawaii]

Exact same situation! Hope for the best for you!

[@yongjunming2715]

Did that too. things are getting better following the method

[@ronaldjennings8544]

@@yongjunming2715 later on I found her on the dating site that we actually met. Not sure how to deal with that

[@yongjunming2715]

@@ronaldjennings8544 You're on it too. So, its hard to pin blame or assume character faults too quickly. When people are upset, they naturally explore what are the options. it doesn't necessarily mean its over. kinda important to let her calm down. When she looks at other profiles she naturally compares them to you. so it helps to remind her why you're good for her and she'll come back

[@ronaldjennings8544]

@@yongjunming2715 I am just occupying myself at work literally killing myself at work. I was on that website No longer on it.

[@divineangelcare]

The 3 steps provided in the video seem practical and respectful. It's important to give her the space she needs while working on self-improvement

[@Clarktl11]

I wish I found these videos last year. My wife moved out over two months ago, but she voiced to me that she wanted to separate last November. I thought I was doing right and everything I needed to do to change her mind but now I’m realizing I just made things worst. She told me she didn’t feel safe with me with her feelings. I didn’t understand what that meant then, but I’m starting to understand it now.

[@iMercedez]

Your video perfectly describes what is going on here. Thank you for this. It's the first time I've come across advice that relates to my situation.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Thanks Mercedez. Feel free to ask any questions or pose any concerns regarding your situation!

[@apbxny216]

I am glad that he is explaining it clearly because IMO men are more likely to listen to other men more than they do women.

[@richardfrosty5881]

I have the same problem here.My woman asked for breakup which I didn’t wanna accept it cuz we have kids and leaving her alone with the kids is not worth it.I have explained everything I could to win her back but she’s keep saying she doesn’t want to have anything to do with the relationship and that I should move on..I plead,beg and other stuffs but all avail. I’m really depressed and I think a lot while at work.it’s almost 2 years since I started asking to let go of what happen but she won’t accept it and wants me to move on..we have 3 kids and I don’t wanna start a different relationship with another woman.we live in the same house and share the same bed.I have made her known that everything was my fault and she should just give me another chance to make amends and till now as I’m texting you bro,no hope.I have made friends and family begged on my behave but she pays no ears to whatever say and some few months back I found out she’s seeing another person. What do I do now???

[@prunelicious7437]

@@richardfrosty5881 buddy some update ?

[@richardfrosty5881]

@@prunelicious7437 bro I have moved on

[@acesoundz]

Your video is my bus stop. Thank you.. I’m going through this right now, I was able to get her to express herself and she is willing to see us work things out, meanwhile I’ve prepared myself for the good and worst, I’m goin to keep working on myself as I’ve always.

[@lopstersharks9385]

Hey man how is it? Are you guys still together?

[@devingoeff1686]

Very powerful words man. Thank you. I truly believe you saved my relationship when i had no clue what to do or who to turn to. Thanks again!

[@kevinkoperniak7062]

Space= Nicer way of saying “it’s over!”

[@edwardsilberberg9556]

years ago my ex told me she wanted a break.. so I told her I’m done for good .. a month and 2 weeks later she called me asking how I was & if we can get some lunch ... lol we broke up again for good months later

[@JillTherese]

Love this so much Geoffrey! So much freedom in surrendering to space.

[@artifactsantlersoh]

This is my relationship to a T. Thank you for your guidance and solid advice. I hope to come back here some day and report that we used this space to grow better individually and later as a couple.

[@BrooklynRunner11]

Constantly asking questions and being more present all around

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Hi Erik, What did you like most about this video?

[@soon1429]

Bro this should be taught in school no joke! We learn so much but how to handle our emotions as it is so volatile. I’m in the middle of this rn and in the beginning I begged but I left (we live together) for medical stuff and had like awakening and understood all this. And I see progress, she went from “I need time” to “we need to breakup” to her opening up and letting me know all the things I have done that lead to this moment that I never saw. I’m telling her that I’m cool calm and collected for her to do her thing and whenever she is ready to let me know. I’m done being the garbage man I was and I want to be nothing but the best for me and her. I feel like we are on the path back and realized that when I wasn’t in this new mind space I was contributing to her daily stress when I should have been her rock. And I learned to not take anything personally because she’s hurt right now and I shouldn’t make it about me. Just hearing her out. I feel like this video is really validating, thank you sir.

[@albertodeulofeu5277]

Wish I would’ve known this when it mattered. This would’ve totally worked. In another life I guess.

[@OppositeBeats]

How did it go

[@brianburrows1343]

You actually talked my relationship word for word thank you you helped me so much

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Glad this spoke to you!

[@kpgirly2340]

EXACTLY! Right now, I called a break on my boyfriend for a month. This is just because he always doesn't follow what he preaches e.g. always going back on his own words. It's just getting more difficult and difficult to communicate with him because when I tell him what was wrong, he never listens by just responding "I love you" but never fully understands and when he keeps not listening I get super explosive with my behaviour where I always come out screaming, yelling and crying and saying mean things which I do not mean but he is just never listening to what I say. Him saying he'd never do the same mistakes but then again he repeats them on and on and I've given him too much chances but he just never learns. It's just really hard to express why he is wrong because he always comes out as gosh this is giving me a headache (especially when I tell him what's wrong with him). I'm just really tired of crying, getting mad and screaming. I already have a lot on my plate especially asian parents not accepting him as a foreigner I am dating, spending more money in the relationship for him, making cute journaling for him writing down my feelings while adding drawings, stickers and pictures. He's just really making it very difficult and makes me revaluate why I dated him in the first place.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Hi Kpgirl Y, Glad you can relate and hopeful you were able to find something useful in my video. What did you find most eye-opening in the video?

[@kpgirly2340]

@@GeoffreySetiawan just how accurate all the points are. There were struggles telling him how i felt until i showed him your video and you also were able to tell me the problem that I've had for so long but didn't realize.

[@raymondgerardcarls4741]

@@kpgirly2340 any updates on this, are you guys back together?

[@DuaneCarltonMerrittmusic]

This is probably some of the best advice I’ve ever heard

[@imaginedgold2704]

My heart is hurting it’ll never be the same again

[@taxiification]

I am really happy I saw this video and I appreciate it the more it is coming from a guy himself! It validates my feeling that it’s ok to react and want space. To need space means you want to work with it. Thank you

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Right on right on! :)

[@davidbailey1718]

I hear everything you're saying, but every time we make a little progress and something pops up, she instantly throws up walls, digs in her feet and asks for space. We're separated and I feel like time is running out. And when we do talk, they're wonderful talks.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Understand that you're righting some intense confirmation bias there. It's not about the 100 things you do wrong, but the 1 thing. Right now, your partner has the confirmation bias that it's not safe, you' won't get it, etc...You need to be 100% consistent with your approaches and mindset to allow for trust and safety to re-develop. Again, it's not about the 100 things you do right, but the 1 time you slip up. And if you cannot battle through resistance, that's a major slip-up.

[@JC-ln6dh]

Feeling this comment. Progress is great but the slightest issue and back to square 1. It's my fault though. I slipped up in my reaction on some stuff and she said "see, I knew nothing changed"

[@derrickmoon3296]

I don't agree to keep the door open. For a little yes. But not a long time. If the door is always open there is no need for her to come back. You have to do things and keep busy so she has time to feel what is he doing. Is it another woman?

[@devinobrian8954]

I was told yesterday that she wanted a break. She told me she loved me and I did nothing wrong but she needed space. We have a son and have been together for ten years. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

[@kennyfrancisco1529]

Great video. I think I wasn’t hear her the way she wants to be heard. It’s a tough spot to be in. I definitely don’t wanna lose her. This break is eating me up because I lost faith in love until I met her.

[@shaunbray2541]

I would like to see how to become more emotionally strong and confident to help get my wife back .

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Have you joined my masterclass Shaun?