GERMAN THINGS I STILL CAN'T GET USED TO | New Zealand expat

[@peterkoller3761]

awkward silence? silence is the music of the soul! those few moments during the day when nobody wants anything from you are so valuable, you can let your thoughts wander... unless somebody comes along and feels obliged to pollute even those few precious moments with their verbal diarrhea.

[@entropyzero5588]

Yeah, the only legitimate reasons for a stranger to talk to me when I'm somewhere other than at a party or some other place meant for socializing are to request or convey information (i.e. asking what time it is or informing me that my shoelaces are undone), which will prompt me to politely provide said information if I can or thank them for informing me, respectively. Anything else is likely to just piss me off…

[@greenknitter]

In Ireland we call it being friendly. :p I think it's sad that Germans (and I include my partner in this) think like this-that human interaction can be such an unwanted annoyance. A product of the highly competitive nature of life in Germany I think that seems to foster mistrust and envy. It goes against our evolution as social creatures to behave like this I believe. That's why social capital and close knit communities are one of the top reasons why people live longest in certain regions of the world like the Blue Zones, even though some don't have the wealth of Germans-Sardinia and Ikaria Greece for example. I live in Stuttgart and for a region that supposedly wealthy it doesn't seem to make them look very happy to be living in their own little bubbles, not wanting interaction from strangers. No offence but it's why I will be glad to return home this year.

[@indrinita]

greenknitter: I couldn't agree more! I really miss that about Canada since moving to Germany.

[@user-yz3ix8ni9v]

greenknitter: LOVE your comment. (Kiwi with a German husband) I want our boys to be the kids that say hello to the little old lady on the street. Or smile at the car next to us in traffic. We cannot let this simple human interaction disappear from the world! x

[@zirkuskatzegarfield627]

I live in a small village in Germany and in villages you say "hello" to every stranger you meet on the street. But not in bigger cities because there are way too many people. And sometimes you just need time for yourself to just listen to music and/or just sink your thoughts

[@enricostephan6591]

I am a German living in New Zealand and it is mostly the opposite for me. Small talk is one of the big things. I simply have nothing to say! People asking "How are you" when they don't actually want to know how I am is the strangest thing. Sugar coating things is like a sport here. Sometimes I feel like people want to be more direct, but simply don't want to offend anyone. I also believe Germans directness and honesty is why we come off as cold at times. One of the worst things about New Zealand are the houses. Insulation and central heating are like mystic creatures here. A lot of the older house are beautiful though. I don't miss the weird shopping hours in Germany. It is great that you can go to the supermarket whenever you want. I think the reason for not having a laundry is space. I don't mind it either way.

[@colasalz2]

for me this "sugarcoating" is so much words to process. Sometimes the words are just noises..." yes, it is ok...but, perhaps you can do this and than... ....bla bla bla.... " in german would be: " i don´t like it, do something else." :)

[@luciemarouskova3121]

Very nicely put. I’m from Czechia living in Australia and I feel the same about these things.

[@CamaroMann]

Das schönste am Winter ist der anschließende Frühling. It seems that the Germans are too honest to be polite, and the New Zealanders are too polite to be honest :-)

[@MultiMikeMinecraft]

Schön gesagt.

[@caciliawhy5195]

Must be something in between.

[@stefanspath1322]

She like our honesty... but she is from New Zealand, so is she sugar coating her experience with us? ;-) Confusing - we will never know :-) Great that you like it here :-)

[@maikeengel6999]

I feel like smalltalk is more akward than silence most of the time.

[@mr.niemand6179]

Agreed

[@tonyzellmer3568]

Absolut.

[@juttapopp1869]

AND it drains soo much energy!

[@paulpower5028]

@@juttapopp1869 THIS is it

[@dianecroft4059]

Love your videos, I'm from Australia and I'm moving to Germany in 4 weeks to be with my hubbys family and I feel like I'm getting prepared through your videos, thank you 😊

[@PortCharmers]

How did it go?

[@Alias_Anybody]

Laundry rooms are just a waste of space and money, and space is way more expensive in Germany. Even if you can afford another room, you'd rather take a room for working, for guests or you hypothetical child. The sugarcoating is a specific thing of the Angloamerican world. The lack of is not a German thing, nearly all people on the continent are more direct.

[@colasalz2]

well, I wash my laudry in my cellar. Out of the way.

[@worldhello1234]

"Laundry rooms are just a waste of space and money, and space is way more expensive in Germany. " One just your opinion and the other depends on the territory.

[@typxxilps]

Sunday is the day to rest, have a break and to thank god. Germany had made a contract with the Catholic church ... around 1815 where a few things like church taxes and sunday are free like eastermonday epiphania, ... are regulated. A sunday with closed offices and shops is a break and makes each week rememberable.

[@swissnor]

That also applies to the Evangelical Church in Germany and the Evangelical free churches as well.

[@AnniMcSally]

I lived in Germany all my life and I also can't get used to German winters 😕

[@bartolo498]

A room for washing used to be more common when washing was real work (i.e. not simply put everything into a machine). This "Waschküche" was often in the basement or in an outbuilding (if it was a larger farmhouse that also had outbuildings) and would not only be used for washing but also for other messy tasks. E.g when people still butchered their own pigs, chicken etc. some the cleaning, preparing, making sausage, salt meat, whatever might also take place in this additional kitchen room with water, drain, fireplace etc. because it was closer to the yard and one would not mess up one's main kitchen. Or one simply needed the extra space because so many tasks had to be done within a day or two after a butchering. But in a modern appartment where one only needs a washer (and a dryer), there usually is no point of having an additional room. Still, some people living in their own houses have such a room in the cellar or basement.

[@Stadtpark90]

exactly

[@DASPRiD]

Plus most people have a washer/dryer combined machine, so it's really just a single machine doing all the jobs ;)

[@GamesSnakeLP]

German love silent awkwardness 😃 And about the meals: Just eat a warm meal for lunch and for dinner 😃

[@johnnycage3673]

Yep. I think most germans born in the mid 70s and later are used to eat warm lunch AND dinner by now.

[@B.A.B.G.]

Well it still largely depends on who is eating with you, and where you are eating at.

[@worldhello1234]

Small minded talk is awkward. :)

[@lenigreen4426]

Same for me. I eat three times a day warm

[@njdinostar]

Great video! So interesting to hear your perspective. I've moved from the Netherlands to New Zealand and I struggle with the same things but exactly the other way around. I hate the small talk, it's so inconvenient and nosy; whenever I go shopping I always choose the self-checkout, even skipping my turn to get to self-checkout because I just don't know what to do about this small talk. And the laundry rooms; it seems like such a waste of space! Also, I would feel very much like a maid instead of part of the family if I'd have to retreat to a different room to do some housework. I haven't been in NZ for too long yet but I think that I can definitely get used to the mild and sunny winters here! Although I will miss ice skating..

[@SpikeTheDog84]

hello my neighbour from the netherlands, i would totally love to hear your opinion on germans being honest and blunt and straight in your face with their opinion if you ask them. do you also struggle with this one the other way round in new zealand? do you feel the culture in the netherlands is more similar to the german way or to the new zealand´s? i live in north rhine westphalia, so it´s only a two hours drive to the netherlands for me. and apart from the obvious cliches (germans invade dutch beaches in the summer and steal your loungers with their towels at 6 am - VS. - people from the netherlands invade our skiing resorts during winter since you don´t have hills and mountains) i host holiday trips for mentally disabled people, often to the netherlands, and i feel like i achieved a level of cultural exchange and common sense far away from those superfical cliches ages ago and get along with the netherland´s mentality very well. but i would love to hear your opinion on the blunt thing so much!

[@njdinostar]

Hey! I think Dutch people can be pretty blunt as well and I have never noticed curious cultural differences between Germany and the Netherlands except language. So I find Dutch culture much more similar to German culture than to NZ. That said, I find the NZ people are pretty straightforward too, but maybe that is because I am used to asking straight-up questions. One of the differences between Germany and the Netherlands that I've noticed is mainly in education; in the Netherlands if you (want to) study STEM you're a nerd or considered super-crazy-smart, while in Germany it feels much more common and normal. Another thing that maybe Germany and NZ have in common is how they view travel distances; you said it's only a two hour drive from where you live to the Netherlands, well, when I lived in the Netherlands I rarely saw my extended family because they lived so far way (75 min drive). This is also something I struggle with in NZ; the distances and travel times are so long, and there is no public transport outside the city so you need a car, which I am not used to and don't really like. It feels like what I've seen from US tv and movies, people driving to get a coffee, or to post some mail, feels completely weird to me.

[@maikekaufmann5857]

I love having a separate laundry room for doing washing! I miss the German spring though, it's so "explosive", because everything goes green really suddenly. I prefer the cold winters in Germany over the wind and bucketing rain in Wellington. I love being close to the ocean though!

[@SpikeTheDog84]

njdinostar thank you very much :)

[@MrOpacor]

If you life in villages in Germany and in old houses there is almost always a "Waschküche" for laundry. In cities the space is too expensive. In my house I have a Waschküche with two washing machines, two toumble driers and a few clothlines and right next to it a room for ironing, folding and repairing with a sewing machine. But then again the house is old and family owened for almost 100 years. If I had to build a new house I woud just not spend the money for that much space but I am appreciating it nonetheless. Another aspect is storage space. Right next to the kitchen is a room without heating (and an insulated door) to store groceries and stuff. Nothing too fancy but it still holds storage space. The shelfs in it are installed into it precisely and would not fit in another room. But it offers about 20m² of shelf area (distributed over 5 levels). For additional storage there is of course the cellar with about the same storage area again and the freezers. That ammount of starage space can also only be found in old houses. When the government advised the population to always have food for one week in the house my mother asked jokingly why we should dump so much of our stored food. And before someone asks: Yes, I live in one of these old mulitgenerational houses. There are no totaly seperate households between my parents and me, but I grew up that way and I do not want anything else. And no, it has nothing to do with lack of money or living in "Hotel Mama" either. Everyone does their part. And sometimes it is a lot less stressful to see grandparents or parents once every few weeks than seeing them every day, being woken up to drive them to the hospital at 3 a.m. and whatnot. But for me this price is worth it for I really like my family around. And this living situation taught me the concepts of sickness and death from a very young age on, which I am entirely grateful of. I love reading and learning but sometimes experience is the only way to properly understand. And I am sorry for the tangent I opened.

[@Balligat]

Main meal: As need arose in the early 90s we started eating the main (warm) meal in evening a few years ago and even after retirement kept doing it, so do our children .... a lot of our friends also broke the German tradition. I think the only thing one should care about is if it suits *your* necessities. Laundy room: It's nice to have one - but many families just cannot afford it. You might have noticed that room is scarce for dwellings to start out with & when you build a house this extra space will add about 5% to your total cost. That's why a lot of families use the basement (that most houses have to have anyway).

[@crappiefisher1331]

actually all people i know (i am german and so are they) eat their warm meal in the evening nowadays. if you have a job you are most of the time not able to eat your main meal at noon so you eat something small and "fast" in the short break you have and cook when you get home at around 6 or 7 the only few times we eat at noon is maybe when visiting parents/family on a sunday or on holidays (feiertage) like christmas or easter

[@malinm1615]

I eat breakfast in the morning before school and have my main meal when I get home (I'm in my last year of high school). Pretty often I actually forget to eat in the evening.......... Not healthy, I know

[@kamillaerdos7636]

Please can u explain why they put the washing mashine in the basement and not in the bathroom even if they have place for it as well? I really dont undestand and it distrub me as well.

[@Balligat]

@@kamillaerdos7636 It may be regulated this way by the landlord to prevent flooding if ever a hose broke - and as a house owner I would never have the washer in the upstairs (& mostly larger ) bathroom, rather build/have a utility room instead on the ground floor.

[@septemberrain3197]

Even if I was born in Germany more than 50 years ago I can't get used to our winter lol. Don't blame you. When I was a child we always had our main meals in the evening - just because my father was a worker (outdoor) and had no chance of a warm meal during the day. Later I nearly always worked in companies with cantines and so I started to eat warm meals during lunch time and so I stopped having them in the evening. Not all germans eat warm at lunch time and not all germans do at diner time. It is a free country! And about small talk: just continue with them! When I was younger I didn't like small talk at all. Now I love them! LOL It is nice to talk to people without having deep conversations :-D Sunday shopping: totally agree with you! And hahaha german directness and honesty! Even there the germans have their limit. They are only honest if they can criticize ;-) I don't like that either. Very often it is not so much honesty but extreme rudness. Good video btw! Love it when you talk about your views on "typical german" things

[@PianistStefanBoetel]

I think the dining habits have also a lot to do with emotions. You probably really become very happy to eat warm in the evening because that's what you were used to as a child and that's how your parents treated you with love. For me, however, it's the opposite: Still today, I eat cold "Abendbrot" in the evening and it always reminds me sitting cozily with my parents at that kitchen table in the evening eating bread with cheese, sausage, some fruits and salad.

[@user-uk1tl4ct9y]

Tip from a German who can't stand awkward silences either: Talk to the person about somewhat related topics. For example when you're waiting to pick up your kid, talk about your child while making it about the other mum's child. What my mom used to do, was basically learning family connections by heart. She didn't know the names of the other mums but she knew which child belonged to which parent, so every time she had to wait she'd be able to make small talk like "My daughter told me about the beautiful yellow dress yours wore last week. Where did you get that from?" or "I heard your son's taking violin lessons now. Does that school also offer cello lessons? My daughter would like to learn that" All of those were lies of course but it eased the awkward silence and my mum was very well liked by other mums because of her (faked) interest in their kids lol

[@icke11234]

As a German, I'd prefer blunt honesty to what you just described any day. Such intentional lying sounds worse than any Anglo-American sugarcoating.

[@K1rlia]

I'm from Cologne in Germany and I must say that smalltalk ist totally fine here. :) I also imagine it as awkward not to talk with an other mother when waiting together and I have had great conversation in the streets or in the train.. ok, actually these were conversation about society, politics or philosophy and no real smalltalk. :D but it all startet with smalltalk ;D .. yah.. I like being nice and have nice talks but I actually prefere talking about things that really interest me or are in my head and I experience this as very redeeming and satisfying. :) I really love the fact that me and the people around ne in my country are so direct. 😊 But honestly I'm sure that if you are in NRW around Cologne or the Ruhrgebiet and talk smalltalk to people in the supermarket or anywhere in the street at the busstop or so, they will be friendly and nice and have fun talking back. Also older people sometimes start talking to you about the weather (typical german topic xD) or so..

[@stefanspath1322]

People from cologne are nice. I had a great time working there ( I was there for about half a year). But luckily I avoided fastelovend :-)

[@colasalz2]

ja in köln...das zählt ja nicht :( ...

[@OrangStefan]

There are certain areas in Germany, like the "Rheinland", where people tend to do small talk I feel. But then, these people come across more superficial :D

[@gipszjakab7437]

Cologne? XD Köln :D idk why english people say Cologne

[@avatarjiyuna3159]

Nooooo… there is no smalltalk in MG. :)

[@ElGreco291]

If you think your husband was rude, ask my girlfriend how she feels about asking me for my opinion while shopping for clothes ;) I think we don't do sugarcoating because it is (for us) unnecessary and inefficient ;) But of course there is a difference between being honest and being rude. I understand that it is difficult for a foreigner to adapt to that - not matter how long you live in Germany. My girlfriend and I will be in NZ next year february/march. And I hope I will do enough sugarcoating in discussions and conversations. Smalltalk itself shouldn't be a problem. I love it to talk to people in foreign countries to learn more about them and their country :)

[@claudiaduffy5500]

You are such a beautiful, positive lady! Very well spoken and nice to hear your openness. Love watching your clips

[@AntoinetteEmily]

Thank you so much for your kind words ❤️

[@tomt6963]

I'm German in Germany, and I know a warm meal at noon when I was a kid, but now we eat dinner, just because there is nobody home around noon. When I returned from school, the warm lunch was waiting for me. Today, my own kids return from school in the late afternoon.

[@peterkoller3761]

honesty:her: "honey, do these pants make me look fat?" him: "no, not the pants. it´s what you eat all day."

[@hamuandxerxl4255]

Makes me think that I am not a true German - I absolutely hate silent awkwardness. Even though I am an introvert I fairly often start conversations with strangers. It's wrong to say that it's not possible because it is, even in Germany! Just try. Not everyone wants to talk but many people do, they just don't know how to start. The only rule you have to remember is not to start too straightforward because it might irritate them. And you should be attentive: many Germans like some smalltalk but only for a few sentences. Don't keep talking when they start to withdraw. Honestly, you should try!

[@sikckaputten]

A great way to find out if you're comfortable with someone is when you can just sit next to each other and shut up without it being awkward.

[@misfithog5855]

I really like your channel snd it is so fun to see how many of your opinions are exactly things I (a German in NZ) noticed before. - I like German winter. I live in Auckland and I seriousrrly MISS snow. I miss it getting really cold. I miss the grey even. But yeah, it can be very grey and dreary throughout winter and after ahile it can bed a big much. - Mitagessen! I miss people wanting to eat big warm meals at noon. When you eat what is such a cultural thing, isnt it? - small talk. Just do it! Never had a problem talking with people in Germany. Just, maybe dont talk about the weather. Talk about a tv show you like or something else that actually interests you. The weather is BORING! Your actual interest in sonnething is not. - Laundry rooms are wasteful. You can do your lssundry in your kitchen or bathroom no problem. Why waste the space? Plus, fresh laundry smells good. :) i like having one of my favourite smells directly in my living space. My partner's family here in NZ dont have a laundry room either, bur their drier is in the garage. I find that slightly odd, but I origibally found it even odder to HAVE a drier. Its pretty convenient, though. Espdvially considering NZcloth horses are kinda weird and not very stable. - Germans are blunt, german guys are blunter. I can understand that this would be annoying. Have the opposite problem in NZ, trying to interpret the various levels of sugar coating. Do you mean what you say or ard you just being nice? How will i ever KNOW?

[@user-yz3ix8ni9v]

Awesome video! I laughed out loud the entire way through! Kiwi here with a German husband. (all his family live here in NZ also) - Our 2 toddlers are growing up with both languages, so I guess we are the definition of a bilingual family. Your video is so refreshing! I find our cultures are totally different yet strengthen each others so much also. I'm surprised you didn't mention the media i.e. Television ads. I LOVE NZ TV ads - always so hilarious and tell a story and are just pure gold. In Germany if they're not advertising a cleaning product, they're just plain blunt and boring!! (in my opinion of course!) Anyway, thanks for your video! I need to grab the washing from my DESIGNATED LAUNDRY! :) x

[@eisikater1584]

Sunday openings: I recently installed a calendar app on my cellphone and at first didn't notice that it was an American one. Other than Europe, they seem to consider Sunday the first day of the week, which it was in Germany, too, up to, I think, the 1970s. Since then, Monday has become the first day, and Sunday is a day of rest. -- But, to be fair, gas stations and restaurants all are open on Sundays, so you won't starve. The bigger problem is that German states are divided into catholic regions, such as Bavaria, and Lutheranian protestant, such as Berlin-Brandenburg. Try to call Munich from Berlin on a 1st of November, no matter what day of the week it is, you won't succeed.

[@typxxilps]

a laundry room is a question of luxury cause german house prices are far höher than in NZ. Compare the prices per squaremeter and the decide if you wanna add like 6 qm for such a room AG a 12.000€ prices tag. Would you like to spent a 60€ higher rent a month? Just a question of priorities if you need a "Hausarbeitsraum" or not.

[@colasalz2]

the prices in Aukland and the big towns in nz are really high...look here: www.auto-motor-und-sport.de/news/autohersteller-gewinn-pro-auto-audi-bmw-ferrari-porsche-mercedes-seat-skoda-vw/?block=1

[@wheretheheckismykummerspec7218]

typxxilps ”far höher” 😄 cute

[@worldhello1234]

It is a matter of priority not luxury.

[@JNa-fo3es]

This video is 2 years old now but I don't know if you already know that indeed also for us Germans the dark weather is a problem. Quite a few people get winter depression because of that and psychiatric clinics do use light therapy as a form of treatment. One winter I felt very down and a friend of me told me I should try going to the solarium and that was a great advise. I felt so much better already after the first time I used the solarium.

[@Miliko207]

I am German and grew up there. So, for me it was normal to have closed markets during sundays... I am studying in Poland now. When I started, sundays were open for shopping and eating etc. Now I hate it when shops are closed during sundays. Never cared about it before... now I do

[@furzkram]

We used to have a room in the cellar called Waschküche (literally washing kitchen) and in times before washing machine there was a HUGE pot that was heated up with wood and coal the heat up the water for washing the clothes. I remember my mom stirring the clothes with a huge wooden stick. Many apartment buildings still have that place in the cellar where today washing machines and dryers live.

[@malinm1615]

It snows? Where? Not where I live..... It's wet and cold, grey, it rains and your socks get soggy. Welcome to winter in Schleswig-Holstein. Maybe we get about 1,5cm of snow before it gets washed away by rain.....

[@jannikap2188]

I can totally untestand the smalltalk fact! I am german and one time I stood in a line in front of a bakery, waiting to order and I just was shocked as a women started talking to me. For me it felt very weird. :D But right now I'm volonteering in thailand and I'm surrounded by a American family, who loves to 'smalltalk' to each and everyone. And I love to join them in the smalltalk but sadly that's really hard for me and sometimes I just don't know what to say so it's awkwardly quiet. I really want to get used to smalltalk but that's also hard for me.. :D

[@Lulu-oi9ue]

I couldn’t live in a place that’s too cold. I moved from the tropics down to a more sub tropical/temperate and I don’t like the “cold” snap we have where it’s grey, windy, rainy and cold. Today on the other hand was a really warm winters day and I feel soo much better.

[@johnnycage3673]

#2 I don't see the problem there. I have warm meals for lunch & dinner.

[@passinero5120]

Maybe, maybe it's just you finding the silence awkward. ;) I hate people doing smalltalk. It ruins my precious silence, you know. ;)

[@joachimludwig6822]

I'm german and I really love smalltalk... I hate those silence too... Once the ice is broken you can have wonderful conversations. I've been a couple of times in the US and I really don't like talking around the bush, it makes me feel uncomfortable... I really love our german honesty

[@aangela7328]

What I miss in Germany too, even as a german: diplomacy, small talk, open shops on sundays and nice weather. Over the last 20 years I travelled a lot to Australia and enjoyed these differences to Germany.

[@Philemaphobia]

There are so many homes built when nobody had a washing machine. Dryers came up in the 80‘s only and weren’t widespread until mid 90‘s but we tend to live in houses that are a hundred years old or older back when people bleached their linens on the lawn. ( which is why some districts in Germany now are called ‚Bleiche‘ which was the official lawn back in time to do this. The boom of the laundry room was a 50‘s and 60‘s thing. A time when Germany was occupied with repairing rather than having luxury in private homes.

[@overlordalfredo]

2 things just as side notes: 1) the directness is one of the main points other countries do not share with Germans, and to be honest especially in a lot of English speaking countries the sugar coating is the main reason for social issues with the community! If you are so used to being complimented all the time you automatically become a special snowflake that will be offended by anything remotely connectes to them. It also makes really hard for someone to accept criticism. If you are so used to being complimented all the time you don't handle resistance very well. The most extreme Form of this can be seen in modern day USA where everything anyone says automatically results in a social disaster... That is the worst case scenario for sugar coating too the extreme. 2) smalltalk is a wast of time and time is limited in your life so if you "force" someone into small talk you are directly taking away their lifetime. *that is the most direct way to express the German way of thinking towards small talk!* But there are reasons for this. Efficiency is a very big thu g in Germany since the post war phase. WW2 left this country broken, defeated and under permanent siege of other countries. Hence the generation who had to rebuild Germany had to effectively dedicate everything they had to form a working nation again. And this only works with a high efficiency and a common will to make it work. This mindset of "don't waste your life do something useful" is present to this very day in most German families. E.g. If you finish school and you don't know what to do you are more or less urged to immediately do either a job or go to university or military. Even the idea of not doing anything for longer than a regular holiday is so surreal that your family your friends, teachers anyone will be trying to bring you to some action. You must not waste any time of your life! - Ever! That is basically what Germans are born with even if a lot of them don't like it or don't even realize it. But as a result such minor things like small talk come across as bad or evil and will be avoided like the plague. The personal time you earn in what foreign people call "awkward silence" is so valuable because Noone is pushing you and you are at a small peace in your own mind for a short time. Hence silence is a thing a lot of Germans enjoy more than random talks. Especially since Germany is a country with a lot of different nationalities who come to live here. Often you don't even expect them to speak German depending on the region you are living in. I have been to restaurants in the middle of Germany and I heard 6 different languages around me from the tables. None of them was German. This is also left over from post war phase when a lot of other nations had soldiers here talking anything but German for a long time. And now a lot of people come to Germany to live here and don't even learn German language... It is not like talking is general is bad, it is just "useless" if you do it without any direct intent. Like gain/transfer Information, socialize with your friends or exchange oppions over a task or topic to get another point of view on the subject. But talking for the sake of talking goes against everything the regular German is raised for...

[@DerTaran]

My wife is German and she always starts talking to everybody, like you described smalltalk.

[@Speireata4]

About warm meals: old habits die hard. Even when my parents' schedule did not allow for any real meal at noon, it still took over a year for them to just change the meal time to the evening. About the smalltalk: of course you can talk to other parents in Kindergarten, but start with a topic related to the location like whose is yours? How does your kid do? How many kids do you have? From there you can move to other topics.

[@juttapopp1869]

There´s a middle-road between bluntness and sugar-coating...it´s called "tact", lol. But (being German) if forced to chose bluntness or sugar-coating, I´d go for the bluntness any time... at least you know that any sugar you do get is the real thing, not saccharine.

[@19chillstone91]

The winter aspect , me as a german can't get used to it. So lonh and grey. Loving the first sunny warmer days in spring.

[@HayleyAlexis]

IT'S SO DEPRESSING DURING WINTER. Cabin fever. I agree 100% with all the points :D

[@kevinboecher7928]

I'm new to your Chanel and I really like it! I'm a German guy and it's so fascinating the differences between Germany and new Zealand. Here in Bavaria on the country side of Germany it's been normal to have a laundry room I remember the laundry of my grandma it was quite big and always hot in there. Regards Kevin

[@JuliettaLia86]

Growing up we always had our warm meal in the evenings and I do cook in the evening for my husband and I. I think that this tradition is changing most of my friends cook in the evening. I think you should just do how it's convinient for you if you want to cook in the evening you should.I would love to have a laundry room!

[@tiberius8390]

I totally agree about the closed shops on sundays. It would be so nice to be able to go shopping or doing your groceries on sundays, too. If you work during the weekdays it's good to have not only friday evenings or saturdays to buy things. The shops could surely make more money, too. The salespeople could get their 2 days off work during the week, which isn't so bad at all. But as far as I know it's not allowed by law in germany. It's also not allowed to have a shop open 24 hours. Usually there are closing times when shops have to close the latest in the evenings and when they are allowed to open up in the morning. I think for the Sundays it has to do with germany being a very christian influenced country. And the closing hours have to do with light/sound emission laws somehow.

[@ulrichlehnhardt4293]

If someone is really honest with you, it means that he has confidence in you and he loves you... in a couple, "sugar coating" should NOT play a role.. "sugar coating" is for strangers.... if he is honest, he really loves you.. next time: take it as a huuuuuuge compliment!

[@xml571]

my family always had its warm meal for dinner because my father loved to have a warm meal when he came back from work in the evening. I know a lot of families who do this even on weekends. something small and fast for lunch and warm for dinner.

[@LariF99]

Actually we're not very focused on eating warm at lunch. On the weekends we just go and see when it fits best in our day. So it doesn't really matter if it's in the evening or not, but during the week we usually eat warm in the evenings because that's the time of the day when the whole family is home

[@annikas6534]

Hey! I'm native German from Northern Germany and need to tell, mayby not having a laundry room is typical for the South?! I don't really know. Almost every One-family-house has a laundry room. It's called Hauswirtschaftsraum. 😉 Off topic: I really like your videos and your way to see and talk about your impressions! I really need to smile brightly about your "culture clashes" because they show, that some of the things I do or use without even thinking about, seems to be so typical German and not as universal as I believed them to be! 👍

[@OldLordSpeedy]

meal time: It is depends your family stay together. In my family history we kids eat warm after school at lunch and cold at dinner. My dad late from work so he eat warm at lunch break and cold at dinner or my mom cook food or make warm our lunch meal as dinner meal for him. At weekend we eat warm meal at dinner and late cold breakfast and no extra lunch. Sometimes our relatives invite us then both meals are warm. Now I am adult and I have my own family. We make it depends time. Warm meal only if it need it - some days only cold meals - bread and salad. My lovely financé loves rice, you can cook it in rice cooker and eat it cold too. We both have different jobs so we see us together only at weekend. So we eat often only warm at evening, more easy time to cook the food before. My grandfather eat the breakfast cold, but the lunch (exact at 12:00 o'clock!) only warm, often with soup before the main menu and at evening (different summer/winter at 20:00/18:30) warm food from the lunch time. If it was empty, then cold bread with meat and cheese. He was a rich farmer and works hard in field before. He can't cook, this was the job from his housewife or the youngest dauther (after my grandmom died). In the old times most farms at this village Friedensfeld have women helper for take care the garden, the animals, work in kitchen or washing clothes. Men works on field or take care the house. Light was candles these times. They wake up at sun start and go bed at sun down in most of the time. For cooking they use a fire in oven. Normale you bake your own bread and cakes. They haven't a shop in village, only a church! One farmer drive weekly with hourse and cart to Saranta with a list from all people. Heutzutage ist es egal, wann man was wie wo zu welcher Zeit warm oder kalt ißt! Eigendlich sind Diskussionen darüber also vollkommen überflüssig!

[@sarahallen2018]

Great tips, I'm an American living in New Zealand and I spend a lot of time with Germans... Thanks for all of the cross-cultural insight.

[@starryk79]

Very interesting Video. I am a German born and and raised here and i lived in Germany my whole life but you really describe your points well and i can understand for example how it must be hard for someone who is used to small talk that we normally don't do that in Germany. I am very introvert so it would be really difficult for me to start small talk with a foreign person but i noticed about myself that if others start it i can get into the conversation but i never would start it myself.

[@kristindoring6226]

Love your videos. I just can't get used to the cold homes in New Zealand. I always complain about that...In Winter I miss german central heating a lot!!!

[@kristindoring6226]

you know us germans already which is great. just try to remember and don't take it personally. being straight forward is sometimes better than the sugar coat! here in nz I dont like if someone puts the sugar coat on. it's hard to understand their real opinion. do they just want to be nice to you or are they afraid of being honest? that confuses me. it is just the way how we grew up...Two different world's :-)

[@furzkram]

Warm dinner at lunch time we had on Sundays, maybe Saturdays, when mom was at home. When she had to work throughout the week, the warm meal was at dinner time.

[@thomaskuehn1052]

Love the video and working for a U.S. company I heard a lot of similar comments from co workers when they visit. I think the honesty as you call it - I'd call it straight forwardness, but that's just a different name for the same beast - can be very strange to someone used to sugar coating or more indirect and subtle conversation styles. For me as a German it can be the other way round though... sometimes I get frustrated when Americans are 'dancing' around a topic (especially problems) instead of calling it what it is. What's very interesting for me is that I met a couple of Australians and New Zealanders back in my Airforce days as well as the current job that were very direct in their communication instead of sugar coating things... so I wonder if these folks would be considered to be impolite 'exceptions'?

[@braunXYZ]

The only places I've seen a washing machine in the bathroom would be apartments.Mine's in the basement and I'm actually quite sure most *houses* have it either in the basement or in a general utility room.

[@cadeeja.]

I'm totally German and I like talking to strangers as well, when there's a situation that makes it not creepy. ;) In queue or in a waiting room...

[@Snowshowslow]

Hi :-) Very recognizable video! I am from the Netherlands and my German boyfriend and I live there, but whenever I visit Germany I run into most of these differences (except the laundry - Dutch houses do not have space for a separate laundry). But I had the same thing with the directness / bluntness as well, even though the Dutch are also known for being blunt. And the good news is: I did get used to it in the end :-) There will still be the occasional disappointment with his reaction every once in a while, but in the vast majority of the cases I appreciate his feedback now without also feeling a pang of hurt. I hope the same will happen for you!

[@bettina_w]

I'm the queen of small talk. I learned it from my father - the king of small talk. I talk to everybody at the cashier or while waiting for a train. Sometimes people look puzzled and don't react but more often than not they join in. Might be the Saarland though. When we bought our house I insisted remodeling one room upstairs into my laundry room. I hate to have that clutter laying around in the bathroom. Kitchen? No way! HAte that

[@AndDiracisHisProphet]

12:38 "Does this dress make me look fat?" "No, it's the fat that makes you look fat!" Sorry, I had to think of this Married, with children, quote. Didn't want to say you are fat :)

[@JakobFischer60]

You have to go to the mediteranian an suck up the sun in august. I am german and that helps me through the winter.

[@Philemaphobia]

The grey Long Winters: german winter time kind of shifted and kind of starts after the holidays now, when we already took down holiday lighting... it’s like falling in a Black hole after New Years...

[@mauertal]

A laundry was needed, when a "washing day" really was a hole days work. With making firewood, fire the oven, wash with handcraft ... To be honest, how many hours a week Needs a Family of four a laundry?? One, two hours .... therefore a seperate room?????

[@OrangStefan]

I'm German and my father, who is also very Germany, actually loves to do small talk and chats up any random people, like in the situation you described and often as a child or growing up, found that so embarrassing, because he just talked only for the sake of talking...

[@andreasw.3210]

Ok. The weather thing in winter, we unfortunately cannot change...working on that, since the climate change is ongoing..in our area (Bavaria), the women pickung up their Kids at kindergarten are chating like crazy - too much for me as a man. and if you want a separate room for laundry, hmmm, did you ever think about a bigger apartment or an own house? We have one. Nice Video again :-))

[@50Volker]

So funny....i lived in New zealand for 9 months and it took me a few months to find out that shops are open on sundays. Then I got used to it very quick and when I came back it was so strange that Shops are closed, even in big citys

[@kamillaerdos7636]

XD

[@sandrac3113]

Never knew much about New Zealand but it sounds like y’all are the same as Americans. We too love our small talk, eat a big meal at dinner time and have more sunshine, sugarcoat things and have big laundry rooms. I would have a hard time adjusting to these things being different in Germany as you described.

[@ratchetclank2948]

I am not good in smalltalk and i can't see any sense in it. Because you just do it when you see people you normally not see. With your friend you don't have to smalltalk, you can dig deeper in that talk which i like more. Smalltalk is not efficient. You talk to an stranger, listen to unneccesary things you can forget and you got nothing of it but breaking the silence. I understand your point of view but i like a true silence more than an artificial talk

[@viertouchdownsineinemspiel]

I really love long winters and rain. It is peacefull and people are much more normal outside. The more sunshine and summer the more people behave crazy.😉

[@OldLordSpeedy]

Extra laundary room: We have near 83 million people here, most house renewed after the two wars last century and most bathrooms have space for laundary. Every extra space you need to pay if you rent an apartment - most people *not* want pay this. So only houses have own separatly laundary in basement or as extra room if you haven't basement. Most houses are big, most have 2 or 3 floors, depents with / without basement. Or you let build own house after your own wishes ... 😁

[@icke11234]

7:56 There's a fairly easy workaround for this one, I think. Simply make your Saturday your Sunday. At least that's how I used to do it with my mom - do all of your shopping for the upcoming week Saturdays. Then you have a world of undisturbed spare time to look forward to on Sunday.

[@XYpsilonLP]

Nice video :) It's always entertaining to hear the oppinions from foreigners on things you have grown up with. But still - I grew up in northern germany and now live in bavaria for 10 years already. Also it is the same country there are still things I can't get used to ^^°

[@pawsltd]

This is hilarious - love it! Well done. Subscribed! Found you via Elise Sheree's grocery haul.

[@stefansucher9992]

To the Point of laundry Rooms: In old Farmers houses you would find it. But by the time, as houses with rental flats were built up, this Rooms were not built.

[@ggarndt1]

Very interesting video as always. I agree with all your observations but from a different vantage point. I'm from the middle of the USA but have lived all over the country and spent my early childhood in Austria (Volks-Deutch). Was on one of the last true immigrant ships to US in 1955 (SS General Langfitt) and when I first saw the Statue of Liberty I had just a few days from my 6th birthday. > Yes, Germans would rather discuss "substantial" things (politics, philosophy, history, science and almost anything but small talk). But I've grown used to some small talk as it is a de-stresser compared to those other topics. > Middle of the day big meals was reserved for Sundays in our parents home (after church meal). So, Germans in the USA quickly adapted to largish evening meals with lively conversation for the rest of the week. That way, the whole family would be there also, which was/is not practical on work days (which often were 6 days a week). > In the way "older" homes in US, it was common to Laundry there after talking clothes out of the "Hamper" . . . a vertical shoot from the floor(s) above. In all newer homes (since about mid 60's or early 70's, a separate laundry room or laundry closet became the norm. I like laundry rooms for exactly the same reason you do. > It's been 40 years since most businesses were closed on Sundays. Now only the small mom&pop businesses and maybe a few others are closed. > Most places in US (especially in the western US) are mostly Sunny in the Winter. The Southwest US and Southern California have boring weather because it's warm and sunny every day except for valley fog. I suspect NZ and most of US (especially the West are much more like NZ than Germany). > Germans have always been direct compared to most other countries like UK, US, Canada, etc. Is both good and bad, but does seem to get more things done quickly. > Germans also love to cooperate with direction and authority . . . a national "we are a team" approach whereas in the US, it's "rugged individualism" as the gold-standard. But most people here don't see the limitations of that. Germany's way is better. If a country has bad "governance" like we now do in US - - nothing get's done and we are becoming a second world country. Choice is between compromise or chaos. Sorry for long post, but I love your videos because I can totally understand them.

[@lal12]

I actually would prefer a warm meal for dinner instead of during lunch time and my family sometimes only eats warm in the evening. But as you already said it is probably more healthy having a warm lunch.

[@obstsalat24]

i think you live in the wrong part of germany, i´m from the south-west, karlsruhe is the city called and we hardly have snow in winter mostly it is cold but nice and sunny, wish we would have snow here and about the laundry room, building a house is very expensive in germany and a room just for laundry would be expensive to build and heat in winter but normally every house does have a cellar here so makes sence to use those rooms for washing machine and stuff but really nice to listen to your experiences :)

[@claudiaf.2236]

When I am waiting in front of the kindergarten, I start to talk about the children with the other mothers. You can ask which is her child and how he likes kindergarten. You can talk about the teachers etc. This is considered normal, at least in Switzerland. And I guess when they hear you speak they know you are a foreigner, and so you have a bonus to behave differently. It is also nice to make people chat more, build bridges, open up people. I guess you are doing good to the Germans with your way of talking easily! You do not need to adapt too much!

[@ichmemyself6098]

That is exactly the difference that Germans are making at that point: A conversation e.g. among mothers of kindergarden kids waiting together and talking about their kids or about some special kindergarden topic, which might well be a welcome and interesting conversation, even if you don't yet know that person by name, and a totally uninteresting small talk about an everyday and everybody's topic with no special connection to the people who are performing it. The situation will give the clues.

[@conan7422]

Es gibt auch in Deutschland einen Laundryroom. Hier nennen wir diesen "Waschküche", meistens ist dieser im Keller!

[@h3nnnn3]

yep, nice video. some comments/answers: 1. its true, winter is kinda dark and grey here but in comparison to sweden or nowray its way way brighter! :) 2. it mostly depends on what job u have. a few decades ago it was kinda common to come home for lunch where ur wife was waiting for u and the kids with a nice meal so u can gain new energy for your job again. today its very common to eat a big warm meal at dinnertime. most women are having jobs, too, the kids school takes more of the day nowadays, so this changed a lot. 3. yes! smalltalk is not a thing in germany ... and never will! we have no business in talking about weather or sth. with strangers day after day after day... :D 4. i love this shut-down-day. this is what the world needs. and theres nothing u cannot buy on saturdays which is essentiell on sundays! AND u dont forget what day it is! u will notice! xD 5. in most one-family-houses there is an extra room. but when u dont have that much money, u cannot effort an extra room for laundry because rooms are expensive! i can endure a washing machine in my bathroom when i can save about 50€ a month :D 6. yep! thats german! :D but u would like him more to tell u that it was crap than to blame urself on the internet for a stupid idea of which he just was too polite to tell u that is was bad! honesty makes everything better and more efficient. for germans, its a sign of respect to be honest. "do i look fat in this dress?" - "yes, u do. but its okay because i like u anyways!" :)

[@jacquelinewatson1431]

I'm in Berlin as an Au Pair (from NZ) and the warm meal at lunch time has taken me 10 months to get used to and now I'm going back to NZ soon

[@StyleWarz]

Historically, Sunday is Church-Day in Germany. Since we're still by majority a Christian country, we get these rules. But you live in south germany just like me, so it's a bit more conservative here. Up north in Berlin and Hamburg you have stores (be it small ones) around the clock. Also as you noticed, most new homes have their own washing room, but this only came in style in like the 90s, so it's been standard practice for just a few decades and most homes in germany are still from the pre 1990s :)

[@Kessina1989]

4:25 Wenn man dafür Zeit hat und nicht arbeiten muss!

[@voiceinthechaos]

I found it interesting how Australians (just like Americans) are used to having their heaviest meal at night. I have lived in the States for 11 years now (getting ready to move back to Germany in a week, though), and I still cannot eat a warm meal at night.

[@Bella-xb3wq]

For Germans it's more awkward to make small talk than sitting in silence. We kinda like having peaceful silence and most people feel like small talk puts pressure upon you bc you need to keep talking

[@Groffili]

Regarding the winter: I think you got used to this special German thing perfectly: most Germans don't like the german winter. ;)

[@OldLordSpeedy]

smalltalk: Oh yes this isn't so a german thing. It waste time normally! Go into the small village shops, into doctor waiting room, or on railroad - here you can found many small talk friends!

[@sns4748]

Every house I know in Germany has a laundry room in the basement

[@aureliasteller4168]

And I totally understand that the shops being closed on sunday is inconvenient, because I'm annoyed by it too- and I've been living in Germany my whole life so...😂

[@waldensiansylph4869]

I love small talk too! It's honest kind chat. Yes, Germans are So blunt >.< It's good and not... courtesy and warmth aren't bad to practice too. All of us cultures can learn from each other. Not one as all the good or all the bad

[@CologneCarter]

Actually I wouldn't like an extra room just for the washing machine and I definitely wouldn't want a laundry room down cellar. That whole concept would make it seem like something indecent that shouldn't be seen by other people. I want things simple and practical. Only thing I don't really like is that most standard washing machines are white. I'd love to be able to get them in the color of my choice, just like with a car.

[@necrionos]

i like your videos, mostly because there is always some emotional expression in your face when your talk about something. but often iam also like "i would have been able to say exactly the same with 10% of the words" :)

[@minipashki]

and i'm totally with you, Antoinette, about that stupid "closed-shops" sundays - i just don't get it - i think it's bad for the economy, it can be very frustrating if you forgot, and it's very unattractive for tourists and immigrants.. i think everybody should have a choice - i mean, nobody keeps you off of your family, when shops are opened, it's your decision what to do in your spare time.. in Moscow, my hometown, sunday is usually a day when you go to megamalls like IKEA (with the whole family of course) or to SPA, hairdresser, stuff like that.. but you as well can stay at home or go to park, theater.. but many families just go to their country houses for the whole weekend also, i know that many shop workers would like to work sundays, while they could have more money (just because it's a sunday) and have a day off on some of the weekdays

[@GardenFairy709]

I came to your channel from Elise, love you already! I am also from the Bay, now living in Australia

[@blackriflehomestead]

Yes the dreariness is really different!! I'm from Texas and I LOVE the sun. I had to buy a sun lamp so that it feels like I'm getting sun. I also take a vitamin D supplement. In America people also love their small talk! Seems like there are a lot of similarities between NZ and America. (Which, I want to visit NZ one day!!) lol and Americans like to sugarcoat things too.

[@AntoinetteEmily]

What a good idea! I really should get myself a sun lamp. You are right when you say that there are cultural similarities between NZ and the states. I found Americans so friendly and chatty when I visited 😊

[@Mirabellism]

Ha ha, the honesty differs between germans a lot. Once I made a boxwood advent wreath for a friends birthday. A colleague saw it and said that my friend surely won't like it because it stinks. I was really offended. 😂😂😂

[@aureliasteller4168]

I feel like I'm just really bad at small talk- so I'm kind of glad it's not a thing here in Germany... But at the same time I think it can be really lovely not having this silence during bus or train journeys. So I'd really like to have this skill, but since I do not, I'm happy not to be forced into having these kind of conversations😂

[@lillipolster434]

Hi i'm from Germany and every time when it's fall and it's grey and then there is a sunny day my mood is sooooo good :) in wintertime there actually not really those sunny days like in fall because there the leaves look so amazing and some times it can get really hot! but while winter it's kind of all the time grey and that's really annoying! and with the honesty in my area it's not so brutal honest as you described it but I think Germans are pretty honest people some more some less extrem