7 Ways to Protect Your Peace in Love and Dating

[@TonganJedi]

I will always be grateful to my ex for ending things. I wouldn't have cut the strings and they really needed to be cut. Being emotionally detached from the situation gave me a clearer perspective. "When you wear rose-colored glasses, red flags just look like flags."

[@LauraSchendel-ko1qk]

I had to write this down just in case I want to write a book entitled, “Best Quotes Ever!”

[@JT-js3uf]

I love that saying...thanks for sharing👍

[@elizetes7313]

Rejection is Gods protection

[@sharonoddlyenough]

​@@LauraSchendel-ko1qk the quote is from Bojack Horseman, if you're curious. It's well worth a watch if adult-oriented animation is any interest of yours, because it is well written

[@akshatjain8303]

1:58 Who and what is draining you 4:59 who’s approval do you need to stop looking for 12:11 remember the gift of unanswered prayers 16:13 solution minded 20:46 choose to heal 24:05 create simple happiness 26:52 what’s right for you right now

[@lylyanazarela4807]

❤️ Dont take rejection as a bad thing it's a protection from what u never deserved

[@GaryBromell5244]

I came across this KZbin channel on stoicism. It has a lot of great quotes and advice on life. One of the most profound things that I learned is to view rejection as redirection. Whenever things don't work out, I am not accepted, or rejected in any way, I have learned that something better is coming down the pike for me, and to not take it personally. Everything in this life is transient; impermanent.

[@milliondollartrooper]

Thank God I get to wake up everyday and do my life. No someone special yet..wait I digress🤚🏼I am someone special😂why do we forget to count ourselves when we look at others as special? Be the love you want❤be the one to be kind to yourself first❤

[@desertrose111]

Half of life is lost in charming others, the other half is lost in going through anxieties caused by others. Leave this play, you have played enough. --Rumi

[@MBfromToronto]

Beautiful

[@JillJaffe]

Matthew I've listened to your coaching and KZbin for over 2 years. I am a 60 yr (young) woman who has been dating for almost 2 yrs after a 30 yr marriage (which I was the one who ended it) This video is truly one of your best- and here is one of the reasons why: you are addressing much broader but very important issues than just a specific dating 'problem ' or issue. it's about 'Zen' and peace and being happy with who YOU are at this moment, and that's a great message to send to (most of us ) who are women out here trying to figure out relationships. Keep up the awesome work man.

[@ShopgirlNY182]

I just went thru the most painful breakup of my life but it turned out to actually a blessing. I thought I wanted to move my life 5 hours away to be with my then boyfriend but it turns out he’s an avoidant and I’m so glad we didn’t work out because I would’ve been miserable. My need for closeness and his need for space just isn’t compatible. I’ve now learned so much about myself since the breakup I’m thankful for it because without it I wouldn’t have found out about my own attachment wounds and now I can work on healing.

[@samex8275]

Me too. i wanted to move to be closer to him. I was gonna sacrifice what I worked for and leaving my mom behind for him, because I loved him. Now I realized he wasn’t the right person for me at all because he didn’t reciprocate my efforts and love. Waste of time but it taught me that I deserve peace and to stay loving.

[@ShopgirlNY182]

@@samex8275 I can relate there was some people I was looking forward to moving away from but then some it was going to very hard to leave behind so all in all it worked out for the best. Sometimes the breakup is the blessing we just don’t always realize it until later after we’ve had some distance and healed. I wish you all the best in your healing journey!

[@ShopgirlNY182]

I do gratitude journaling every night before bed. A few things to let go of, few things I’m grateful for, what I did for myself today, what I did for others and what brought me joy.

[@liv1738]

I got out of a relationship in July after 9 years together. I felt like I was the one doing all the work like I was the pursuer and I made the most effort and I kept consistency. It wasn’t till my break up that I realized I never really put myself first ….ever! Romantic relationships aside, that goes for my friendships as well. As much as I hated deciding to break things off with him, I am truly feeling much better and happier now that I choose to take care of me and make room for what I want. So far, I’ve been healing pretty well, my friends have been so supportive and encouraging and have helped me so much. I’m learning to find balance for me and any potential romantic relationships that may be springing. I’m learning to protect my peace and keep it yet still be open. Matt love your videos so much and have helped a lot …but in the end…dating videos are merely just advice that are not a one size fits all situation. The best advice in dating I learned: Be yourself and if someone doesn’t like you, just means they aren’t your person and that someone better is on the way.

[@iArekusu]

Accidentally ended up at this podcast, but the timing couldn’t be more perfect. For years I kept reopening wounds and putting on a brave face. Yesterday I chose to leave the toxic environment in order to heal, at the cost of losing one of my best friendships and ‘what ifs’. Today I was already doubting why I left and wondered if I could ever start over somewhere new. But thank you for the reminder, I did it to protect MY peace and happiness. All 7 points are applicable, hearing it and writing it down will remind me and help me persevere ❤

[@ivonneflores4245]

Thank you! I'm really struggling with someone who used to show interest, then pulled away and it has affected me a lot, but when I listen to this...well it's made a difference on me instantly! I have realized how much energy I've invested on him, and others, as one friend told me "You've put so much of you on a broken cup, it all goes away, you're filling a cup that will never be filled" 😢 Thanks a lot Matthew!

[@JillJaffe]

Thats a beautiful way to put it...

[@doe7914]

Not sharing your goals with people is usualy a good idea, sharing it does put a pressure on us to achieve it or achieve it in a certaim time frame

[@missstarrynight7736]

Only if you are a perfectionist or something. I am not, and I have no problem with telling people about my goals, because I know I will do what I want when I am ready to do to it. The pressure you mention comes from within, not from other people, and it stems from badly defined "reponsibility". Also, sometimes it's kinda of self-future faking, when a person dacleres to do something just because it will make him/her being more "respected" or "admired", yet the same person is later on terrified, that she or he has greater aspirations than actual abilities. My former best friend fell victim to her own mindset of this type, and her relations with people are terrible, not because those people expect her to "keep her promise" about something, but because she believes they think ill of her when she's unable to do it. So all her friendships end, because she presents herself upon her "ideal vision" of herself, not her current abilities. Which causes shame in her, and then she believes it's others who think she should be ashamed of her, and acts out of this false belief. Worst.Life.Strategy.Ever

[@doe7914]

@@missstarrynight7736 I said usually, it depends. Im not a perfectionist. Your reasoning makes sense for certain cases, though, this generally is from my experience with people around me. When I have mentioned that I wanted to achieve something one day when I will be ready, there were people who would bring it up continuosly and give me their unelicited advice of how to go about achieving my goals right then and there, they literally asked me why I dont want to do something about it now and I had to always explain why it isnt my priority at this specific time, it drained energy, it felt like I should be achieving it for them not for me :D . Thats why I usually no longer share this with many, just very few who are not like in the example above.

[@Sayaka25]

I'm so thankful for this content. I've been listening to the Hussey family for years to help me get out of a narcissistic relationship and here I am again after giving up on someone who wasn't consistent. I'll keep looking for someone who wants to build a wonderful relationship. Till then I will keep listening to keep standing up for my standards and boundaries. Thank you so much.

[@neko_rora8709]

Since i found your videos, i understand a lot more, not only in love relationships, but how actually people ARE. That makes the pain sometimes easier and allows more to open the deep closed things to heal. I'm really grateful today for that and in general, keep up your good work. We need more Angels on Earth

[@doe7914]

I had a friend I did always feel worse after hanging out with, drained. I couldnt even laugh sincerely with her. She seemed like she had it all in life, although she later said she was depressed anyway. I dont know what it was that caused this, but I dont have it with any other friends. Maybe she was too intense for me, the way she lived, all over the place

[@missstarrynight7736]

Could be a clinical depression - this one doesn't depend on external circumstances.

[@doe7914]

@@missstarrynight7736 I dont think so, I feel good when Im around certain people and drained when around other types

[@michellawarren1715]

Thank GODS I was brutally discarded from that Narcissist 12 months ago. I could have easily fell into that trap of being brain washed, suffering depression and loosing my identity. It does scare me to think what would have happened.

[@rachelteeuws1241]

Rejection is god’s protection

[@atty.veronicainoturanosg3487]

I have the Trent Shelton's new book, as well as yours. I have repeattedly read both & have even underlined & made notes regarding certain topics. Thank you, Matthew & Trent, for inspiring me/us.

[@aSomehowRandomBeing]

Your advice in all areas of life feels tailored for me. Thank you for your efforts!

[@piatawormald6596]

Interesting video but I have another approach with the section on choosing to heal. If I’m drawn to an exes social media I wallow in it. I acknowledge that I haven’t grieved for him properly. I acknowledge the grief goes deeper and it’s layered too. It’s not just him I grieve for but the potential for that relationship and past losses too. I lost my husband after 25 years together and both my parents too so my grief is layered, deep and heightened. I permitted myself to grieve for an ex all week when something triggered me after our short relationship which ended ages ago. I only needed a few days to grieve. However, our lifestyle and culture don’t readily allow for grief or this outpouring of emotions and pain so we rarely get a chance to properly grieve. It’s mostly cut short. So my approach is to slow down and embrace and honour these feelings. Blocking an ex may be done in an anxious state when grief isn’t properly exhausted. So a need to block makes me realise I need more time to grieve. And of course, grief isn’t linear so it may strike again but probably with less intensity as time goes on if we don’t rush this process. It’s also important to be very compassionate about healing as it’s heavy work and there’s not always space for it. Sometimes it needs to be put on hold when we’re just trying to survive eg if living in poverty

[@AshleyAnessa]

Yes, but what if I value peace so much that it prevents me from inviting new people into my life? I was thinking about this the other day. What do I value and need the most? My peace of mind, body, and soul. What do I want more than anything? A life partner of good character and morals who loves me and my daughters. What if my desire for peace is keeping me from actually finding someone? I tend to only choose men who are not available in some way or another. I either leave or get left. So that's me keeping my peace. I don't know where to move from this point.

[@Debbie.Inspired]

Thank you so much for sharing this experience you are going through. I couldn’t put words to those very same feelings that I have at this point in my life as well. I’m not sure what the next step is. For me to gain clarity on the next best step for myself, I need to get in deeper connection to my intuition, which usually involves more meditation and journaling. Sending positive thoughts as you navigate this path for yourself. 🫶🏻

[@monicalevyt]

Love your videos, they help a lot

[@ckl5801]

One of your best podcasts!! ❤🎉

[@RobertDakarai]

The best among the best, i love the videos 😊

[@jennyy6606]

Hi Matt, your videos have been helping me a lot. I restarted to using dating app for the past 4 weeks. I'm feeling draining...met at least 2 guys a week. 😢 And no text from them. My anxiety was really bad and tired to meet new people over and over again 😞

[@C0smicbeauty1990]

I am on the same journey and it is exhausting! I am Taking a break from dating apps.

[@chiaraA.]

I just have the opinion that the dating apps are not for real connection - they are built to keep people on them - I recommend real life instead

[@jennyy6606]

@@C0smicbeauty1990 I might take a break soon also

[@jennyy6606]

@@chiaraA. it’s mostly for hook ups now

[@jieye3018]

This is wonderfully helpful! Thank you!!

[@idissolvebutirecrystallize8410]

Why does he always come in at the right time

[@brettconnolly399]

Really needed to see this video. Thank you, Matt!

[@uikmnhj4me]

Thanks! This sounds like a great book. I’m going to go get it 😊

[@michellawarren1715]

Lovin' this last section: what's important to self - Today. Here's me feeling guilty for not getting on a plane and relocating to pursue my film and tv interest....nope! I love my day job to much right now, my investment property needs me here, and the small jobs I pick up are serving me well. I'm not ready for L.A yet!

[@authines]

I’ve been so stressed out lately over many things I can’t control. This was very helpful thank you 😊!!

[@148shraddhagawai5]

You have grown so much Matthew!! ✨

[@soma-xj2gq]

Peace is a subject of equality in mode.

[@Giselleee789]

Matthew the purpose for you losing that podcast with the author is for this video.. I REALLY feel the audience needed to hear this more. This is one of your best videos for sure.

[@tedtalksrock]

Hey! everyone at the Matthew Hussey Team! I watch every vid that comes out. I’m a long time fan. So please take this as the “constructive” criticism that it is: The repetitive guitar “music’ in the background in this video as Matthew is talking about the retreat is insanely distracting and should be removed. I had to double check to tell if it was coming from your video or if it was an external noise-. Like an alarm or something-Maybe it’s the frequency of the tone or the rhythm but it’s distracting and detracts from my ability to focus on what Matthew is saying. I hope feedback this is helpful. Again, love your work.

[@Motherearth842]

Omg exactly what I'm going through, and then you post a video about it! Thank you once again!!

[@narmadha.ganesan]

Love your videos so much! ❤

[@Dragonmoon1598]

Oh . . . So that's what it feels like to be called out.😁

[@estelleblythe9328]

Thank you so much Matt, just what I NEEDED to hear , getting book now ❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@Mindfuljourneywithme111]

Used to have lots of people like that but not any more. Taking far too much time and energy, usually lots of drama involved with these people!

[@judyb0216]

What drains us is when we accept people back after breaking free.

[@SurferChick11]

Rejection Is God's Redirection💖

[@rfh9]

Love this video, great book and amazing insight ❤

[@popstarseraphine5263]

Very interesting, thank you ❤

[@HumanityRisingNow]

Amazing video Matthew! I want to get this book!

[@craighalcrow1139]

Excellent thank you 😊

[@laurag.2947]

Thanks!!

[@nancyhynes8775]

Your podcast does indeed feel like truth. Well, maybe with a bit of a gentle Dutch Uncle thrown in.

[@PhilipEmeryer]

really liked this video

[@Bladescool]

I definitely dodged a bullet 🎉

[@nessaness2328]

Thanks for sharing ❤

[@PatriciaEverard]

Thank you for this video! 💜

[@CTony-j9w]

I like this guy but he is not sure about his feeling however he wants to work on it with me. I want to see how it works should I just try as well? Or like usual just run from it instead of wasting my time??

[@ghaili1175]

Thank you ❤

[@jasudipak3113]

Family and society relejas is not not allowed to move in life ❤

[@ourtruth216]

I have a very important question I want to ask, but when I go to the website I get a little overwhelmed where to go to ask my question. I was going to accidentally email tech support lol how are these people getting their questions answered?

[@bianca-mhteam6237]

Hey there ❤ after submitting your name and email address at AskMH.com, you should be able to ask your question 😊 if this doesn’t work please email our support team at [e-mail] and they’ll assist you! -Bianca, MH team

[@PaulMcAnally-fz2pu]

12:05

[@lsworld1139]

Creator definitely protected me with a rejection

[@phalllacy]

"Whose approval"

[@JudymayMurphy]

Poem is Edwin Markham's Preparedness.

[@matthiasradochla6658]

Then enjoy the universal studios. 😎

[@marybeeler501]

This should be good

[@CodyGoldsbrough]

best!!!

[@DI-yx4it]

I got out. Somehow, the spell broke and I am free for the first time in my over 40 years. I still love watching matthew’s videos but I’m so incredibly content in my own life. “Single by choice!” and I’ve ever been so happy and at peace! The whole we need a man to be happy story is just a tool of the patriarchy. If you have a partner that makes your life great, fantastic. If not. Fantastic! 😂❤

[@gabzsy4924]

🤮🤮

[@DI-yx4it]

@@gabzsy4924that really upsets you huh 😂

[@elneia_art]

It's not that the video doesn't have some valuable information for me, but it’s important to acknowledge that it speaks to a very well-off population. You wouldn’t tell someone who just got their family ki!!€d in an air strike that "everything is an opportunity." Sometimes, there are no actions one can take. While I agree that tapping into optimism can be helpful, these kinds of generalized encouragements to brighten up your life can come across as a form of religious self-centeredness rather than truth. I’m sorry if this sounds unkind, and I don’t mean to shame anyone who finds value in this video. It’s just my personal issue with it.

[@G-raa-c2k]

You are watching the wrong video, what you wrote can't be fixed with any vid. It needs a lot of things including personalized therapy. Sending peace your way.

[@XYZ-qu4yq]

If you date to get married, filter out the frogs (least interested and least invested) and only meet most interested in you and most invested in you candidates for your prince. See multiple men on 30 mins dates and let them all know that you do it - they need to know they are in competition with other men (as opposed to being just one man put by you on a pedestal who calls all the shots). This will ensure thise most determined will perservere and do the best for you and you will ultimately make a well informed choice.

[@tallspicy]

Yikes, this sounds really unhealthy. Not the dating more than one person, not the don’t put people ion pedestals, not the dating people who are invested, but creating competition not by being your best self…… but by setting it up as a competition. Healthy women don’t need to do this because good men know your value, and honestly, healthy men won’t tolerate this as a form of game. All you need to say is I am dating with intention to find the right persons for lifelong love and partnership, not dating for companionship. I would find any person setting up some sort of challenge and sharing it as deeply unhealed from previous experiences.

[@tonyp.bahama9368]

Yeah, no, men dont compete with others, our only competition is ourselves, aint nobody got time for that,

[@7elisha]

But that’s predicated on the idea that having one person to do date must mean you will put them on a pedestal. Which is simply, not true. If you learn to date intentionally and invest adequately. You can learn to date one individual at a time without having to put them on a pedestal.

[@tedtalksrock]

I remember Matthew’s brief stint on Ready for Love! It was eons ago 2005, maybe? It was actually pretty good. I remember at the time wondering why they didn’t continue with it. Honestly tho’, the content you produce for yourself is way better. 18:07 ugh, maybe don’t quote one of the most craven and corrupt politicians of all time. Nancy pelosi is a huge insider trader and all around political mercenary. Yuck. Not your brand.

[@ghaili1175]

Yikes. Me

[@ClassicEdge]

Everything is an opportunity (to make money via insider trading) - Pelosi 🙄

[@learnabhi8872]

❤❤❤❤

[@XYZ-qu4yq]

Generally speaking, up to the age of around 40, men prefer their freedom than comittment. They prefer quantity over quality. Men want to commit when: 1. when they think they are getting old and their options are reducing. 2. when their male friends and colleagues start getting married - bcs they feel like they don’t want to end up single during the weddings amongst married friends and colleagues 3. when they think about a woman as ‘out of their league’, ‘a catch’ (example from real life: a relatively young guy who worked as an emergy worker on £30k salary when he met a foreign woman who was a doctor on £90k salary said to me: ‘I think I’m getting married!’ 😆

[@emilyburton4095]

So...people shouldn't get married till 40, just to be on the safe side?

[@martyvirtue4051]

I really can not believe this: YOU ARE QUOTING NANCY PELOSI?? For real?? WT ACTUAL F!! What am I listening to for Chr. sakes? Get L0$t brother!! You are out. Unsubscribe immediately!!

[@aleksandrina0]

BIG LOVE, Matthew! 🫶 I resonate so much with what you are saying and I know I’m on the right path! Thank you for your content and work!

[@ExecutiveZombie]

Protect you autonomy Y’All… 🙏🏽🦋🫶🏽

[@hadiza1]

💜💜💜