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God awful pickup lines

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Kwite

Kwite

Күн бұрын

Get 30% off your first box, plus a FREE gift, when you give Tiege Hanley a try at tiege.com/kwite...
Use Code "Kwite" for 10-30% off your #GFUELenergy order!!: gfuel.ly/3x6B67f
u can stream my song "cracker!" everywhere: lnk.to/notsafe...
edited by nina: / @lxurel
----------------------------
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Пікірлер: 1 000
@Kwiteee
@Kwiteee Жыл бұрын
Get 30% off your first box, plus a FREE gift, when you give Tiege Hanley a try at tiege.com/kwitelines
@catinatophat3826
@catinatophat3826 Жыл бұрын
Help
@jayxtrabyte6311
@jayxtrabyte6311 Жыл бұрын
Nah
@RayRayfrfr
@RayRayfrfr Жыл бұрын
No
@yamatoez4110
@yamatoez4110 Жыл бұрын
Im a buy one right now🙂
@kaserl2961
@kaserl2961 Жыл бұрын
No
@fern__
@fern__ Жыл бұрын
"Do you like sleeping?" "yeah." "I do too. We should do it together sometime" that's the best i've got
@vivianaxd1730
@vivianaxd1730 Жыл бұрын
It's very good can i steal it please thank you
@fart63
@fart63 Жыл бұрын
What if I don’t like sleeping
@Bfdi_BattleForDreamIsland
@Bfdi_BattleForDreamIsland Жыл бұрын
@@fart63 HOW
@davitdavid7165
@davitdavid7165 Жыл бұрын
Bro that is so smooth...
@halcyon.x
@halcyon.x Жыл бұрын
“On separate beds”
@acanofwrens6715
@acanofwrens6715 Жыл бұрын
I think the agonizing silence after each sentence with the Herseys kiss guy shortened my lifespan
@MapleovBacon
@MapleovBacon Жыл бұрын
It was so cringe and creepy
@neaosmt1562
@neaosmt1562 Жыл бұрын
I'm not even a girl and I creeped out by that
@neomawzz
@neomawzz Жыл бұрын
It so funny because a FEW of his videos are kinda cute but 99.99% of them are just 😟… any half of his comments love it rfinrfjifr
@cloudy4379
@cloudy4379 Жыл бұрын
he always looks like he’s on the verge of tears in every single video like- idk how to explain it but he just looks like he’s about to cry or in the middle of crying and just wiped his face but you can still see the tears in his eyes
@neomawzz
@neomawzz Жыл бұрын
@@cloudy4379 THIS
@Bruh-gq1ne
@Bruh-gq1ne Жыл бұрын
Kwite's go to phrase for bad is "God awful".
@joshdotjpeg04
@joshdotjpeg04 Жыл бұрын
I mean… It’s a good descriptor
@meganixi5282
@meganixi5282 Жыл бұрын
@@JackWrath-sq4bd 3 minutes and 6 seconds of why you have no friends kzbin.info/www/bejne/o3TJipxta5hnqLc
@hellocat1124
@hellocat1124 Жыл бұрын
WAW 2 sussy links!
@urmomgettingsmashed2706
@urmomgettingsmashed2706 Жыл бұрын
He’s from Ohio
@hellocat1124
@hellocat1124 Жыл бұрын
@@urmomgettingsmashed2706 Ohio slayy 👴💅
@Erik_Ochoa013
@Erik_Ochoa013 Жыл бұрын
Kwite: I'm 5'5. That's tiny, fun-sized, minuscule, a pathetic excuse of a man, whatever you want to call it. Me, a man who's 5'4: I'm him but his genetics were more merciful
@shortea7892
@shortea7892 Жыл бұрын
High five! I'm 4'9, we can start a club!
@Erik_Ochoa013
@Erik_Ochoa013 Жыл бұрын
@@shortea7892 Heyo! ✋
@justafurrywithinternet317
@justafurrywithinternet317 Жыл бұрын
@@shortea7892 I'm pretty sure you're dwarf tier. Just bulk up, grow a bushy beard and you're rolling.
@squirtleislife1312
@squirtleislife1312 Жыл бұрын
@@shortea7892 you're gonna have some people with a very specific fetish thirsting at you you know
@_.Rebel.exe._
@_.Rebel.exe._ Жыл бұрын
Me who’s a 4’10 trans guy 😭
@krispyboi9162
@krispyboi9162 Жыл бұрын
“Your skin is so pretty, I could wear it as a fur coat.” That’s the worse I’ve got with the attempt to *try* to flirt with them.
@Erik_Ochoa013
@Erik_Ochoa013 Жыл бұрын
Bonus points if you're Ed Gein lmao
@lunatunes5094
@lunatunes5094 Жыл бұрын
being a Kwite fan is like being locked in a glass box with live rats
@recyclingbin7426
@recyclingbin7426 Жыл бұрын
I like rats though
@lunatunes5094
@lunatunes5094 Жыл бұрын
@@recyclingbin7426 didn't say it was a bad thing
@yourlocaltherapistfriend5091
@yourlocaltherapistfriend5091 Жыл бұрын
except the rats don't bite you, they just bully kwite
@lunatunes5094
@lunatunes5094 Жыл бұрын
@@yourlocaltherapistfriend5091 maybe we're the rats and Kwite's the one locked in the box
@yourlocaltherapistfriend5091
@yourlocaltherapistfriend5091 Жыл бұрын
@@lunatunes5094 that sounds about right
@4pplepie4de4n
@4pplepie4de4n Жыл бұрын
Not sure if this counts but I once had a 30 year old man tell me, "You're so pretty, did you eat like ten barbies or something?" Mmm yes, because I love the feeling of plastic cutting my throat when I eat. Oh and I'd like to mention that he tried to gaslight me into thinking I was not, in fact a minor and that it was ok for him to be flirting with me. I still laugh at that to this day.
@wozaow
@wozaow Жыл бұрын
mf really said “nooo you’re not a minorrrr you aren’t under 18 if the cops don’t find outttt 😁😁”
@4pplepie4de4n
@4pplepie4de4n Жыл бұрын
@@wozaow really💀
@cryingchild4209
@cryingchild4209 Жыл бұрын
i too enjoy eating plastic
@4pplepie4de4n
@4pplepie4de4n Жыл бұрын
@@cryingchild4209 omg twinzies🤭🤞
@joshc5613
@joshc5613 Жыл бұрын
I'm sorry, he tried to what now 😭💀
@codymody69
@codymody69 Жыл бұрын
"are you a microwave? Bcs MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMH MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMH" Is the best of all
@1stKills
@1stKills Жыл бұрын
W
@Kevmane_the_bird
@Kevmane_the_bird Жыл бұрын
*beep* *beep* *BEEP*
@zaga2131real
@zaga2131real Жыл бұрын
My microwave can sing bambis parts in thearchy
@CaffeinatedK9
@CaffeinatedK9 Жыл бұрын
Ty ty that was mine
@CaffeinatedDinosaur
@CaffeinatedDinosaur Жыл бұрын
“I’m 5’5, that’s tiny...” and that hurt. - A person who is definitely not 5’3.
@vaughnhaney7020
@vaughnhaney7020 Жыл бұрын
Me, at 4'11: *Chuckles*
@0ueddecillion718
@0ueddecillion718 Жыл бұрын
Me, at 5’1 : Giggles 🤭
@-_brianj_-2913
@-_brianj_-2913 Жыл бұрын
Me at 3’6 snickers
@Clone_Center
@Clone_Center Жыл бұрын
Me at 2’4: snorts
@thefelon8027
@thefelon8027 Жыл бұрын
Me at 5'10: Soccer go brrrr
@smol8025
@smol8025 Жыл бұрын
"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?" works every time
@AuroraAce.
@AuroraAce. Жыл бұрын
insert some joke about "pickup" lines and having to "pick up" an unconscious body. I am too lazy to make it myself
@galaxycat9966
@galaxycat9966 Жыл бұрын
I'm sorry, did you steal that from Leverage or am I trippin'?
@AShatteredDragonsSpirit
@AShatteredDragonsSpirit 4 ай бұрын
I feel like my Hollywood Undead radar is going off, but I'm not too sure...
@sebastiansingleton4495
@sebastiansingleton4495 Жыл бұрын
Bro I swear to god kwite always has some of the most out of pocket quotes ever
@Annihilation_Studios
@Annihilation_Studios Жыл бұрын
Kwotes*
@rachellanedunn
@rachellanedunn Жыл бұрын
@Chad 007 nah dawg 🤔🍆💀
@dpterminusreal
@dpterminusreal Жыл бұрын
@Chad 007 ah yes, hypocrisy
@legaellecy
@legaellecy Жыл бұрын
the pickup line I invented: “hey, girl, are you a Buzzfeed quiz? cause I wanna figure out which Disney princess you are based on your favorite spreads on sandwiches”
@litheralySOcool
@litheralySOcool Жыл бұрын
Damn
@oreo_6206
@oreo_6206 Жыл бұрын
ohhhhh I get it
@oreo_6206
@oreo_6206 Жыл бұрын
wait what
@cryingchild4209
@cryingchild4209 Жыл бұрын
huh..
@happysunny0172
@happysunny0172 Жыл бұрын
I hate that I just did that quiz a few hours ago
@Tea_N_Crumpets
@Tea_N_Crumpets Жыл бұрын
“Admitting that I’ve consumed hundred of hours of FNAF lore is the third hardest thing I’ve had to come out as” Seems like we have the whole set of ‘things Kwite has had to come out as’: -Bisexual -Furry -FNAF fan
@SunshowerWonderlab
@SunshowerWonderlab Жыл бұрын
Aren't those the same things?
@silverdandylmao
@silverdandylmao Жыл бұрын
Oh fnaf aint a secret, hes got a thing going on with springtrap
@smoothbrained4channer976
@smoothbrained4channer976 Жыл бұрын
Hardest thing: furry Second hardest thing: 5'5" Third hardest thing: FNAF enjoyer Easiest thing: bisexual
@hal8686
@hal8686 Жыл бұрын
He also came out as a fanfic reader
@gerinko7874
@gerinko7874 Жыл бұрын
@@silverdandylmao I forget about the spring trap stuff until I check the comments, and I am cursed with it again.
@VampireDuckie
@VampireDuckie Жыл бұрын
I went through a phase of looking up sewer-slide based pick up lines lol. "Are you death? Because I long for your sweet embrace." "Are you a gravestone? Because I want you on top of me." "You remind me of a noose; you take my breath away, and I can't wait to hang out." etc
@expertarcher8542
@expertarcher8542 Жыл бұрын
That’s not even the worst thing people have said
@glebglub
@glebglub 9 ай бұрын
bit off topic but I hate how people say sewer-slide instead of just saying suicide. "sewer-slide" just sounds like anal sex after taco bell. what happened to wanting to become "an hero"?
@seraphinereal
@seraphinereal Жыл бұрын
0:48 I love how when Kwite levitated back a bit, he did a little bounce to emulate taking a step back
@sol-yx9xn
@sol-yx9xn Жыл бұрын
yeah!! it’s almost like he has legs!!! (he obviously doesn’t though)
@SoubiYumea
@SoubiYumea Жыл бұрын
Congrats on the sponsor, but I will say that chemical exfoliants like salicylic acid or BHA are better for your skin than 'manual' exfoliants, because those can cause mircotears on your skin, over time causing your skin to get worse than when you started. (Source: used to be a teen with awful acne)
@Babewhat
@Babewhat Жыл бұрын
As long as you use manual exfoliants infrequently, they’re just fine- using them on the daily/bi-daily is when an issue occurs. Chemical exfoliants can sometimes be more irritating, so it just depends on the person! ~a fellow past acne victim
@davitdavid7165
@davitdavid7165 Жыл бұрын
I just feel like you should not buy anything that is advertised on KZbin. If they got the money it is probably a scam, if it was good they would not need to advertise it and I also want to spite them just to feel like I have more controll on my life than I actually do.
@maimtubeTV
@maimtubeTV Жыл бұрын
yeah, in my experience physical exfoliants never even work that well anyways? whereas if you get a chemical exfoliant you can usually see results pretty quickly. just a personal anecdote and it likely depends on the person, but it's something to keep in mind.
@speed9553
@speed9553 Жыл бұрын
I swear he reused the same sponsor clip
@maimtubeTV
@maimtubeTV Жыл бұрын
@@speed9553 he literally did! i was waiting for someone to point it out 😭 kinda funny and on brand for him tho tbh
@yetet
@yetet Жыл бұрын
bro i just realised its kinda hilarious that a guy whos face never gets seen is advertising a face skincare routine love it
@ultrasimpsannie
@ultrasimpsannie Жыл бұрын
It's sad how most of these pickup lines would work on me cuz they'd make me laugh
@brieoshiro
@brieoshiro Жыл бұрын
Haha same, someone that can make me laugh is def a plus to me.
@marinerouffaud1828
@marinerouffaud1828 Жыл бұрын
Holding up to your name I see lmao
@becksbee23
@becksbee23 Жыл бұрын
I have a very bad pickup line that you may have to do research to understand…. “Are you radium? Because you make my jaw drop”
@cataclysmicmystics
@cataclysmicmystics Жыл бұрын
*oh no-*
@stevenaltos8821
@stevenaltos8821 Жыл бұрын
im stealing this.
@joshc5613
@joshc5613 Жыл бұрын
BRO I'M DEAD 💀
@alguienoalgo3561
@alguienoalgo3561 Жыл бұрын
@@joshc5613 so is Eben
@xympha
@xympha Жыл бұрын
BRUHHHH 💀💀💀💀
@AGuywhohasGoodTaste
@AGuywhohasGoodTaste Жыл бұрын
“Are you a chippy? Because you can batter my sausage!” - My friend, 2022
@kadegetslaid634
@kadegetslaid634 Жыл бұрын
I love your friend
@delta56O
@delta56O Жыл бұрын
Rizz god 🤑
@sisyphus272
@sisyphus272 Жыл бұрын
@Chad 007 w
@indeeditiscirro
@indeeditiscirro Жыл бұрын
I can smell the britishness
@MattlikestrainsOfficial
@MattlikestrainsOfficial Жыл бұрын
@Checkmark giga chad kwite
@KBShinn
@KBShinn Жыл бұрын
I once used "Anyone ever tell you you're a weapon of mass distraction?" ...it worked.
@CapiKarks
@CapiKarks Жыл бұрын
just today i was drawing you and describing how tall and handsome you were to my friend, now knowing im actually taller than you gives me such a strange feeling of power
@supercalifragilisticex
@supercalifragilisticex Жыл бұрын
If that was someone's pick up line on me, my pronoun would be "pre-ex" 💀.
@BetaEtaDelota
@BetaEtaDelota Жыл бұрын
You're a dermatologist, I have skin, it's a perfect match!
@floweytheflower7152
@floweytheflower7152 Жыл бұрын
hi
@theoswenson3774
@theoswenson3774 Жыл бұрын
Was scrolling and I saw someone I recognized and than felt even worse
@Bala_Niranna
@Bala_Niranna Жыл бұрын
Once when i was sitting by an abandoned KFC while contemplating how empty my bank account was, a dude came up to me saying "i like the symmetry of your face..."
@maimtubeTV
@maimtubeTV Жыл бұрын
that's some shit a man who wants to keep your skull as a trophy would say 💀
@sawyerprobably
@sawyerprobably Жыл бұрын
heather mcnamara moment
@thisisasupersayin376
@thisisasupersayin376 Жыл бұрын
Gonna throw out my go-to here "Are you a fine wine? Because I want to keep you locked in my cellar for 30 to 50 years"
@expertarcher8542
@expertarcher8542 Жыл бұрын
Are you fine wine? Because I don’t drink 👍
@marinerouffaud1828
@marinerouffaud1828 Жыл бұрын
"Then spent half a minute testing you before spitting you out ✨✨💕"
@hecateb581
@hecateb581 Жыл бұрын
tried to be nice and tell someone their eyes were pretty and they looked at me weirdly and said "that sounds like you want to put them in a jar". brother it wasnt even romantic i was just trying to be nice to a friend.
@someoneontheinternet16
@someoneontheinternet16 Жыл бұрын
I picked up my boyfriend with the pick up line of "hey, can you enchante this?(picture of a minecraft diamond sword) because you've already enchanted me" he laughed and here we are :)
@ConiferConnieTreeCow
@ConiferConnieTreeCow Жыл бұрын
aw thats adorable :D i might use that if i ever find anyone worth liking lmao
@someoneontheinternet16
@someoneontheinternet16 Жыл бұрын
@@ConiferConnieTreeCow thank you!! Hope that if you find that someone, it works :D
@pandabon2269
@pandabon2269 Жыл бұрын
My girlfriend told me this one: Her: "Do you like eggs?" Me: "Yeah?" Her: "Then you'd like me." I think I'm gonna marry her.
@happysunny0172
@happysunny0172 Жыл бұрын
Try the Mississippi line on her and see what she says
@dakotawarner9414
@dakotawarner9414 Жыл бұрын
She is egg?
@justafurrywithinternet317
@justafurrywithinternet317 Жыл бұрын
@@dakotawarner9414 She can make 79 different delicious meals with eggs.
@dakotawarner9414
@dakotawarner9414 Жыл бұрын
@@justafurrywithinternet317 that's impressive ;-;
@lakethefrog
@lakethefrog Жыл бұрын
I think you really should matry her
@Drago0025
@Drago0025 Жыл бұрын
That thumbnail has gotta be the BEST pickup line
@potatobub
@potatobub Жыл бұрын
that’s the first thing i think when seeing an attractive person w a nice rear piece
@kmations4049
@kmations4049 Жыл бұрын
THAT WAS MY FRIEND'S BF LMAOOO
@davitdavid7165
@davitdavid7165 Жыл бұрын
I agree. It would definitely work on me
@FizzleTheDragon
@FizzleTheDragon Жыл бұрын
How could Kwite be desperately lonely when he has Springtrap?
@riversworld96
@riversworld96 Жыл бұрын
hey the thumbnail was my boyfriend! we’re both kwite viewers and we’ve both been laughing over “gender comes after ass” for like 20 minutes 😭
@MattlikestrainsOfficial
@MattlikestrainsOfficial Жыл бұрын
Press X to Doubt
@dj-murlock
@dj-murlock Жыл бұрын
but the question remains: what are your pronouns
@AuroraAce.
@AuroraAce. Жыл бұрын
@@dj-murlock ass/cheeks
@kmations4049
@kmations4049 Жыл бұрын
omg hi river
@kmations4049
@kmations4049 Жыл бұрын
@@MattlikestrainsOfficial if this is indeed my friend then it IS their bf
@benjaminluke9903
@benjaminluke9903 Жыл бұрын
Kwite probably won't read this, but I really want him to know that bosom means a woman's chest/breasts, and not the ass. Skill issue, dude. 7:24
@thepalindromeemordnilapeht1267
@thepalindromeemordnilapeht1267 Жыл бұрын
Since Kwite said his pickup line to the camera, almost directly into my eyes, shall I take that as direct request for me to top him?
@0ueddecillion718
@0ueddecillion718 Жыл бұрын
You mean us 😏
@thepalindromeemordnilapeht1267
@thepalindromeemordnilapeht1267 Жыл бұрын
@@0ueddecillion718 I mean I guess after
@user-Jay178
@user-Jay178 Жыл бұрын
Do Pick up lines ever work? Lol. Love your content Kwite.
@francine_rivet
@francine_rivet Жыл бұрын
@Chad 007 based
@liekwhatupdanger
@liekwhatupdanger Жыл бұрын
I just thought of this pick up line for a wlw relationship. Here’s how the convo would go You- Your a lesbian right? Her- Yeah, why? You- Well les-be-in a relationship
@RushWheeler
@RushWheeler Жыл бұрын
@@liekwhatupdanger response: you make me Sapphic without the apph
@liekwhatupdanger
@liekwhatupdanger Жыл бұрын
@@RushWheeler sc?
@RushWheeler
@RushWheeler Жыл бұрын
@@liekwhatupdanger damnit I misspelled it. Just fixed it now
@willsith9762
@willsith9762 Жыл бұрын
My shitty pickup line is "Are you a crime? Cuz I wanna be gay, do you."
@weesticles650
@weesticles650 8 ай бұрын
9:49 that's literally how my bf asked me out and it worked 😭. Sure it was worded way better but it was super similar.
@weesticles650
@weesticles650 8 ай бұрын
Basically since I'm tall as hell and he's short he said "Every squirrel needs a tree to store its nuts in" mid conversation and I asked if he was flirting and he said yes and now we've been dating for almost half a year now.
@bowlseriw
@bowlseriw 3 ай бұрын
Aww
@thealienlife
@thealienlife Жыл бұрын
Why does kwite look like a dream smp member that nobody has seen before?
@sourcitrineee
@sourcitrineee Жыл бұрын
after the dream fiasco i think no faceless online influencer will ever do a face reveal lol
@thealienlife
@thealienlife Жыл бұрын
@Chad 007 if this is "make air fryer potatoe wedges easy and simple" I swear to God Edit: fuck you
@kadegetslaid634
@kadegetslaid634 Жыл бұрын
LITTERALY
@xxpromlggamerproxx
@xxpromlggamerproxx Жыл бұрын
Ø
@RushWheeler
@RushWheeler Жыл бұрын
@@sourcitrineee it also makes sense with the joke about Kwite being a floating green sweater
@bardofboars7226
@bardofboars7226 Жыл бұрын
"hey, you seem like a hard worker, and I have a opening you can fill" Best one I got
@Cynical_Socialist
@Cynical_Socialist Жыл бұрын
I have a favorite “Hey girl you a slinky? Cuz you sure look like you’d be fun to push down the stairs”
@dimensionalshade8290
@dimensionalshade8290 Жыл бұрын
Knowing kwite short such a weird feeling like,the camera is eye to eye ,completely lined up,but most of his viewer base would actually need to look down to actually see him eye to eye
@HopeIsADrug11037
@HopeIsADrug11037 Жыл бұрын
that first guy has to be satire at this point please 😭
@elmoskitz
@elmoskitz Жыл бұрын
When you realize kwite didn't know what a bosom is.
@brieoshiro
@brieoshiro Жыл бұрын
My husband is 5'5" (so am I lol) but my shoulders are higher than his so I hug him over and he goes under and it's so cute. I call him my tiny cute husband and he likes it. And yes I made sure he's not offended (he's not). Anyway, point of this is short men are cute and there's nothing wrong with a short king. Own your heights fellas.
@ConiferConnieTreeCow
@ConiferConnieTreeCow Жыл бұрын
awww thats adorable i want a relationship like that. i 100% agree that short kings are great. i'd rather date a 5'5" man than a 6'2" man who i'd have to get on a stepladder just to kiss 😂
@brieoshiro
@brieoshiro Жыл бұрын
@@ConiferConnieTreeCow He really is the best. I have no idea how he puts up with me lmao
@isegeese
@isegeese Жыл бұрын
that's adorable omg
@serenegenerally
@serenegenerally Жыл бұрын
He’s a keeper
@brieoshiro
@brieoshiro Жыл бұрын
@@serenegenerally We've been together for like 18 years so I hope so haha
@yoururmommother8563
@yoururmommother8563 Жыл бұрын
kwite, if your face is the surface of mars then call me an astronaut because i cant wait to explore every part of you
@MattlikestrainsOfficial
@MattlikestrainsOfficial Жыл бұрын
🤨
@ConiferConnieTreeCow
@ConiferConnieTreeCow Жыл бұрын
DAAMMNN THATS A BRILLIANT YET CURSED PICKUP LINE LMAO did you come up with that yourself? XD
@yoururmommother8563
@yoururmommother8563 Жыл бұрын
@@ConiferConnieTreeCow i did come up with that myself thank you
@ConiferConnieTreeCow
@ConiferConnieTreeCow Жыл бұрын
@@yoururmommother8563 good job lmaoo
@AfterArtist
@AfterArtist Жыл бұрын
My favourite pickup line: ‘If you were a triangle you’d be an ugly one’ I am Aro/Ace if you couldn’t tell lmao
@blanket4763
@blanket4763 Жыл бұрын
A guy actually said this to me (via text): “Hey girl I’m jealous of your heart because it’s pounding inside you instead of me”
@pheebs887
@pheebs887 Жыл бұрын
Oh thank God a Kwite video, I'm off my meds and I desperately needed the serotonin I get from this cursed content
@ambiguoussarcasm
@ambiguoussarcasm Жыл бұрын
Hey, really hope you're doing ok and, if it brings you any comfort, know that you aren't alone (as cheesy as it sounds). I feel you, going off meds can be super disruptive and shitty. Cursed content serotonin is best serotonin tbh
@pheebs887
@pheebs887 Жыл бұрын
Thanks, I got my meds today so should level out in a day or two. But really, thank you.
@vikusfikus4390
@vikusfikus4390 Жыл бұрын
I had a "you look just like my dead gf" once from a random sus looking guy with a sausage in his hand. Made me remember Hanibal series and feel like Will Graham
@Anomalous_loafofbread
@Anomalous_loafofbread Жыл бұрын
2:05 Bruh I love how "Paul" sounds exactly like the portuguese word "pau" which is a slang Brazilians use to describe a penis 💀💀
@Uuu999oooppp
@Uuu999oooppp 3 ай бұрын
It also just means stick so it's also slang in english
@Minecraft-3699
@Minecraft-3699 Жыл бұрын
my favorite one has gotta be: "ay girl, you got a diamond pickaxe? cause im harder than obsidian"
@veggiechia-seeds3779
@veggiechia-seeds3779 Жыл бұрын
i once had a guy tell me 'you know i've never been just friends with a girl. it's always been dating' with a lot of undertone. imagine how shook he was to find out i'm genderqueer. i just wish he hadn't moved before i could tell him i'm aroace
@AxlefublrMain
@AxlefublrMain 10 ай бұрын
goddamn, that's not a pickup line, that's a red flag!
@jay-notabird
@jay-notabird Жыл бұрын
kwite’s the kind of person to record a bunch of videos before he dies, just so after he is dead he can still give us content
@traceschulz
@traceschulz Жыл бұрын
5:52 OH MY GOD HE SHOUTED ME OUT OMGHHVHUFHVLTXDTTKSFMSKFSKTS
@averagevirusbombenjoyer
@averagevirusbombenjoyer Жыл бұрын
“What has 128 teeth?” Me after geting back fron chernobyl.
@michaelleader633
@michaelleader633 Жыл бұрын
"Can I be your toilet hun? Cuz you ARE the shit I'm addicted to!" And I was all like "Huh, not a deal breaker, she's trying at least," 🤣
@88lovah
@88lovah Жыл бұрын
Kwite and kurtis combo lets go 💪💪
@casanovatwentytwo
@casanovatwentytwo Жыл бұрын
my tumblr addicted friend told me the mississippi one awhile ago and i nearly shat myself first time hearing it
@TheUndeadGraduate
@TheUndeadGraduate Жыл бұрын
"Hey girl, wanna come back to my place and watch porn on my 60 inch mirror?" is still my favorite
@Nyxxzislost
@Nyxxzislost Жыл бұрын
I like to think that The lil light shine on kwites glasses is actually just his pupils
@07ghostworld
@07ghostworld Жыл бұрын
0:40 the way he treats his lips tho those lips have seen it all
@TheIshakuro
@TheIshakuro Жыл бұрын
7:25, you called an ass the "Bosom", which is the chest. Did you like, try to say Bussy, but then bail halfway through?
@magnum_cx8805
@magnum_cx8805 Жыл бұрын
It was definitely a mistake because while I don’t think he’d say it in the first place, Kwite would never bail out of inappropriate word usage as this video has reminded us.
@jwbetter4562
@jwbetter4562 Жыл бұрын
6:05 bruh what😭
@theinge9672
@theinge9672 7 ай бұрын
He found out how to unfuck the Thanksgiving turkey
@magnum_cx8805
@magnum_cx8805 Жыл бұрын
Definitely my favorite Kwite video in a while😂 Especially appreciate your pick up line.
@3nndoWasTaken
@3nndoWasTaken Жыл бұрын
1:27 istg im now going to use that word in any way i can cuz god imagine some 14 inch subway
@SulfurAstarothVixenIIIXXIII
@SulfurAstarothVixenIIIXXIII Жыл бұрын
"On a scale of 1 to bald eagle, how free are you tonight?" - An old coworker of mine that was friends with my older brother at one point
@mr.monkeyman_9558
@mr.monkeyman_9558 Жыл бұрын
"Most people call me Robbie, but you can call me anytime." ~Robbie
@jokerman9623
@jokerman9623 Жыл бұрын
😎
@axuwu6939
@axuwu6939 Жыл бұрын
Worst pickup line I ever got was when a friend (not anymore) suddenly asked if I’d be willing to gain weight for him and be his “chubby girlfriend” He was being 100% serious I’d rather get the Mississippi line
@morosexualidiot
@morosexualidiot Жыл бұрын
as someone 5"1 I'm now stealing your short pick up line. I'll update you on how it plays out. thanks kwite
@MattlikestrainsOfficial
@MattlikestrainsOfficial Жыл бұрын
Tf is morosexual are you attracted to Morocco or smth
@morosexualidiot
@morosexualidiot Жыл бұрын
@@MattlikestrainsOfficial no. it's a joke about loving dumb people. are you interested?
@lunaraurora8308
@lunaraurora8308 Жыл бұрын
Me: *gets a really bad acne attack today* Kwite: “hey here’s a skincare routine ad” Damm boi perfect timing
@Babewhat
@Babewhat Жыл бұрын
Not to be parasocial low-key, but lately Kwite has really actually been just like me fr
@gaspshichat
@gaspshichat Жыл бұрын
i told my partner the same pickup line four times in less than a minute. then they read the letter i gave them asking them out. they, for some reason, still said yes. i say the pickup line as much as possible. it's been almost three months and i've said it probably 50 times the pickup line "instead of tripping and falling, you can trip and fall for me." yes it's bad on purpose
@Me-wx1mt
@Me-wx1mt Жыл бұрын
4:44 I think that was a joke in deadpool, which arguably makes this even worse.
@chihiro2129
@chihiro2129 Жыл бұрын
I could be your Hershey's kiss 💀
@serrano1x610
@serrano1x610 Жыл бұрын
The best part of this video is that the sponsor is for facial care and the KZbinr that they chose to sponsor uses a mask in all of his videos
@eldritchermy
@eldritchermy Жыл бұрын
this dude's pick up line for me was "Norwegians are very pretty, like you" cause i knew how to speak Norwegian (i live in america but my great-grandparents were immigrants)
@xxiSHTAr9000x
@xxiSHTAr9000x Жыл бұрын
My pickup line: “Hey girl, do you have healthcare? Because I really care about who I’m looking at”
@Milo-Bilo3
@Milo-Bilo3 Жыл бұрын
Can't wait to have all these pick up lines as my status on discord
@kaitlinm8085
@kaitlinm8085 Жыл бұрын
Repeatedly told a guy I didn't want to be his girlfriend but I stayed his friend cause I felt bad for him. Decided to ditch for good when he started saying shit like "When we eventually have sex I don't want you on birth control"...
@SnapshotOfASoul
@SnapshotOfASoul Жыл бұрын
It's weirdly gender affirming knowing that I, a trans guy, am much taller than you, a guy who could have picked taller prosthetic legs but just didn't.
@revilno
@revilno Жыл бұрын
10:43 Where is it, Kwite? Where is it?
@chaneyh7752
@chaneyh7752 Жыл бұрын
6:20 he said over easy and I heard Ovaries and didn't even bat an eye 💀
@kanonwilliams9497
@kanonwilliams9497 Жыл бұрын
10:20 Why did you say that exactly like Peter Griffin? Great video BTW.
@ellaronci2703
@ellaronci2703 Жыл бұрын
7:31 as a pansexual, i can confirm this is true
@wills22222
@wills22222 Жыл бұрын
The way you say yolk makes my skin crawl like there is an entire family of cockroaches residing inside of my lungs
@PerpetuallyTiredMillennial
@PerpetuallyTiredMillennial Жыл бұрын
Kwite being sponsored by Tiege Hanely, the company owned and started by Alpha M whom Kwite made a video mocking, is hilarious to me. Also kind of wholesome since I feel like there must have been a positive "let bygones be bygones" moment somewhere along the line.
@Syrius_Li
@Syrius_Li Жыл бұрын
Sone of my favourites, "If life is a highway, why not be the girl in my trunk" or "if I were your dad, Id be in prison to"
@shrimpysimp5359
@shrimpysimp5359 Жыл бұрын
the first one is most definitely a threat lock ur doors
@Flunksqk
@Flunksqk Жыл бұрын
I really thought the first guy who asked "what is your favourite candy?" was going to make a "can deez nuts" joke. Slightly surprised and disappointed that he didn't.
@empyrea_2546
@empyrea_2546 Жыл бұрын
As a 5'2" chic, I am stealing Kwite's stolen pickup line
@caprinespectre
@caprinespectre Жыл бұрын
A personal favorite "Do you need a stud in your life? Because I got the STD, all I need is U"
@8.Vivid.8
@8.Vivid.8 Жыл бұрын
0:58 this made me laugh way more then it should have
@antivirusdictionary
@antivirusdictionary Жыл бұрын
How in the hell did he get a sponsorship for face care without showing his face???
@yetti3968
@yetti3968 Жыл бұрын
Im currently watching this at school in the middle of the class with the risk of getting caught by teachers but i must follow the sentient hoody's orders
@Elite_Defender
@Elite_Defender Жыл бұрын
My friend and I were joking about how he would end up on the bachelor and 2 days later one of the popular girls turns out to like him and was too embarrassed to say anything to him directly The boys flipped
@paradoxtatorstudios9681
@paradoxtatorstudios9681 Жыл бұрын
"repeating dialogue you read in a self-insert fanfic" *chokes on soda IM DEAD BECAUSE THAT'S HOW IT READS FR some people think the world revolves around them😂
@annef0x
@annef0x Жыл бұрын
I think the best/worst one I've ever heard (which to this day I don't know if the guy was joking or not) goes along the lines of, "Just call me baby, cuz Im going to be inside you for a long time" I wish I was joking, my dudes 😃
@alexreid1173
@alexreid1173 Жыл бұрын
I still can’t believe a skincare company sponsored a guy without a face
@mrblakeboy1420
@mrblakeboy1420 11 ай бұрын
7:36 you wouldn’t even have to have him die, i could just ask for his permission(he knows what i did out of touch starvation[long distance relationship], meaning he would feel obligated to say yes)
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