God Conscious Parenting - Abdallah Rothman

[@jessebarcus73]

Alhamdulillah I needed this. Realized I just scolding my children for being to loud, when they were just being happy children. Allah SWT have mercy on us.

[@moulayderissy5445]

Gabor Matè explains this topic in more detail in his beautiful book. Hold onto your kids, why parents need to matter more then peers. May Allah be pleased with those who seek to help us nurture the children 🙏

[@helmsmanpacker3456]

BarakAllahu lak yes this was in the recommended reading at the end

[@farahslimati8573]

Subhanallah, I came across this lecture right after I posted this quote by James Gabarino, “we need to put aside blaming parents and take a hard good look at the challenge of raising children in a socially toxic environment.” Gabore Mate, non Muslim psychologist, is also speaking up against capitalism and how it has destroyed the sense of authentic identity and community.

[@4363HASHMI]

When marrying an spouse, look for someone that their actions within worst case scenario would be something your children would act upon

[@hishams89]

Dear Abdallah baraka llaho fik brother, someone great like you should have a youtube channel so we can always learn from you. The Ummah is in need for persons like you. You have a great way of lecturing. Salam from germany

[@Ummfatimah404]

Assalaamu alaykum to our dear teacher and to everyone at Cambridge Muslim College. This is a lecture I will have to reference again and again. What a breakthrough, alhamdulillah. May Allah grant you tawfeeq in writing the book on parenting. May Allah bless and put worlds of barakah in all of your efforts and reward you all for it with khayr in both dunya and akhira. Aameen!

[@tamjidulathar4097]

Wa 'alaykum assalaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuhu

[@suraiyakasim]

Aameen

[@Hannah-go3xo]

Do you know if the book is available?

[@Ummfatimah404]

@@Hannah-go3xo Not that I know of, sister. They have an Instagram and usually post about any new publications there.

[@jabedamukith-chowdhury1681]

I have been searching for something like this...alhumdulillah this lecture is so absolutely beneficial and very timely, jzk for this and may Allah swt reward u all immensely ameen x

[@modestypaysoff]

Allaah…throughout the lecture I was thinking about Gabor Mate’s Hold on to your family - I said how much similarities in what you speak about and he’s writing about. He’s a fellow Hungarian,like myself, and can relate so much to his work. I read his book not so long ago and it made me realize an entire “book” about my story and what I do and why do I do that! And now as I listened to this of your lectures - after someone brought your book on Developing a model on Islamic Psychology into my attention- I know I’m in the right place and this is what I’ll pursue going forward in my life. This is my way. BaarakAllaahu feekum and may Allaah reward you immensely for your kind and compassion-filled work! Aameen

[@ferozakamran3711]

Connection before direction

[@kausamsalam8543]

Thank you Brother Dr. Rothman. (Hopefully, the newer generations will learn from these wise words, In’sha’Allah). Ameen

[@peace.n.blessings5579]

We as parents are the guardians of our children. Take the initiative and try to replicate the “village way” in what you feel is comfortable. You ARE their role model, so step up your game and be the hero your child needs!

[@jafferali453]

You condensed all parental responsibility in this video. This should be future of society to preserve.

[@jafferali453]

This is a great challenge for today's parents. They must figure out together how they will address issues and how to agree and disagree with their demands which fall out of Islamic or human society paradigm.

[@fauzianayyar4148]

Masha Allah!!!! Subhan Allah!!!! Jazak Allah Khair Nouman Ali Khan for introducing You!!!!

[@fzai6790]

Thank you so much for great lectures. It reminds me of growing in a village setting in my young age when whole neighborhoods are watching over us.

[@kausamsalam8543]

Great comment, Sister. I remember those days when the honest “village” would help raise us children. Now, one can hardly trust most people to teach our youth anything valuable.

[@karimb972]

This is better than gold. JazakAllahou Cheikh! BarakAllahou fik!

[@srimuharyati2387]

Terimakasih banyak. Untuk calon orangtua kelahiran 90-an akhir sangat berguna nih

[@gjfhh9848]

Just what we needed to hear, me and my husband, wondering about how to raise our child in this day and age. Encouraging, enlightening and inspiring, by the will of God. Thank you!

[@ebrahimbardien2750]

Masha-Allah. Timely and brilliant. Much needed. Much appreciated Dr Abdallah Rothman. Cape Town South Africa

[@__Fatimah__]

Love2 this. About the black spot that starts from childhood, it does make sense! When the reliance removed from Allah, the more the heart disconnected from Allah

[@__Fatimah__]

this is worth to rewatch many times to digest and remember

[@mamudausman8306]

Salaam Alaikum, Mashaa'Allah, alhamdulillah. Quite educative and relevant for todays worldly challenges. I wish I had a presentation like this two decades ago. However, CMC may do the part 2 for parents that missed the first 7 and second 7. May Allah SWT bless and reward you all at CMC for the invaluable work for His sake.

[@РустемЭнверов-л6ц]

I think it is the best lecture on this topic! Thank you for your job. May Allah help you and others from CMC.

[@aneesahmed991]

Very beneficial, I don't have kids (yet - In Sha Allah) and I found this very useful to consider even considering for other members of the family.

[@abdullazoobi2102]

Great lecture. Acknowledging our current world and obstacles presented to our children makes us appreciate Islam more. “The test is the path.” Somehow it’s all connected to make us better parents and produce children with purpose. Look around you. Giving children purpose would make a better society.

[@haledhajdari1154]

MashaAllah a beautiful, clear and practical lecture. I thank you Dr. Rothman and Cambridge Muslim College for the wonderful and super important work ! Jazakumullahu khairan wa tawfeek inshaAllah .

[@Hannah-go3xo]

Absolute gem. SubhanAllah

[@rahamatunnisha3076]

JazakAllah ...for sharing this valuable information....May Allah guide us all.

[@idontwantachannel6592]

This was such an incredible talk, thank you for sharing with this perspective on parenthood, one that's pleasing to God and imbued with love. May Allah make us great examples for our children, amine. Salaam from France!

[@CambridgeMuslimCollege]

walaykum as-salam!

[@TayseerIsmail-vi6cm]

great lecture thank you very much جزاكم الله خيرا ونفع بكم

[@bakarycisse]

MASHA'ALLAH Alhamdulillah, Allahu ackbarr

[@ellalinecarnaro9037]

Ma shah Allah! God bless and protect you always Ameen .

[@emiazmi]

Thank you so much , i got this just at the right time Jazak Allah kol khair

[@asgarihirji3523]

MashaAllah amazing presentation. Allah swt bless you

[@munoosman7045]

Thank you so much for this great lacture. I really appercaite the context and relating tips to the Sunnah of the prophet.

[@qamer44m]

Absolutely brilliant. JazakAllah khair

[@dr.mohamoudfarahsahil6085]

Mansha Allah Hambalyo it's greatest way for using parenting 🙏 God bless you for eve 🙏 amen 🙏 amen 🙏 amen 🙏 amen 🙏 amen 🙏 Insha Allah Allah will reward you 🙏 ❤️ 😊

[@Know_Allaah_The_All-Mighty]

Jazak Allaahu Khayran

[@nurahtape8184]

Masha Allah, this was so good to listen to. Jazakallah khairan for your time and efforts.

[@sarahmdshakh323]

Jazakallahu khayr! Thank you! Thank you! May Allah SWT ease you to finish that parenting book! 😊

[@abjabr]

Thank you so much CMC. This is great

[@syahmed125]

Alhamdulilah amazing lecture

[@user-ee2qq4hp3z]

this was wonderful. A well researched and delightful listen.

[@SuliatAbisolaAjoke]

Mashallah tabaraka Allahu

[@chachamomsabdi9898]

Masyallah thank you so much for this important knowledge for me as a mom

[@fatimah9202]

Jazaa kAllahu khairah fid daarain

[@waladaislamicart]

Very interesting alhamdulillah, thank you

[@JaefarSABNW]

Even though, thirty is the new twelve, it is important to realize that society being intentionally immature is not an excuse for people not rising above. It is important that each realizes that differences in material and psychological culture is not the same as some being wrong or right. People need to share along the basics and get along with the good and truth that they are mutually upon. Everyone is society, does play a role that adds up for others, though.

[@YolanndaMayo]

Allahuma barak I needed this Alhamduillah

[@YolanndaMayo]

One question, how do you play with children?

[@lillyrose2514]

🤲🏼 BarakAllah feekum, ma sha Allah tabarakaAllah , alhamdulillah, SubhanAllah, SubhanAllah, bismillah may Allah continue to bless you Dr Rothman, protect you and by your work by God's permission and grace and mercy, continue to help us and our community ameen 💚🤲🏼🌿 may Allah help you to write that book one day, may your lecture benefit so many to realign ourselves to the best way to be parents and caregivers ameen

[@mdfarhaanahmad7139]

Ma Sha Allah...very valuable

[@pgnzee]

Alhamdulillah learned so much

[@marisagarraway3497]

Asalamu alaikum wrwb. How excellent and introspective this was!! بارك الله فيكم

[@dark_attack7896]

السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ From..Indonesia.

[@sofbash]

That was amazing, mashallah.

[@chaficmekawi1676]

Mashallah thank you CMC for this notable and timely talk. Coming from an academic Oxbridge family background, this hits close to home. Can you share this as a podcast?

[@ruhmuhaccer864]

Mashallah. God bless Dr. Rothman. Sometimes I am confused as to how developed his fusion of Islam and psychiatry actually is. What are emotions according to Islam?

[@mariamalias7101]

Assalamu'alaykum Sir. Thanks for these beautiful and thought provoking advice. I have a question:. You quoted the hadith on bringing up children. I came across a slightly different version: From the Prophet (s.a.w.): “The child is the master for seven years; and a slave for seven years and a vizier for seven years; so if he grows into a good character within 21 years, well and good; otherwise leave him alone because you have discharged your responsibility before Allah.” From the hadith: Parents are thought to play and show them care and love in the first seven years. In this way they love and trust their parents. The next seven years are disciplining years. With trust and love for their parents, they can be easily guided with skills and disciplines. The third seven years they are viziers, prime ministers. In another narration, the parents are queens and kings with veto power. This third phase means that parents have given them enough guidance and skills so much so that the children can make decisions on various challenges in life, however when they are not correct, parents can still guide them. In the last phase, another narration mentioned that they are like business partners. Thus they are free to lead their lives and can consult parents on issues they face. I need your input on this version of hadith I quoted. Jazakallah khairan.

[@sal13luckyforme]

Asaalamu Alaikum Brother Abdallah, thank you so much for such an important talk. I could see and understand how crucial it is to parent our children the way you explained. Please may I ask a very important question. I as a parent to 3 boys did my best with my boys however thorughout the childhood years and even now their father constantly & deliberalty breaks /undoes what connections, bonds, love friendhip I worked hard to build. My sons are 25, 17 and 14 , they have very very little connection with me, even sharing a meal, a walk, an outing is not possible. I love them dearly and made so many wonderful efforts to be there for them thorugh various stages of life. they reject me all the time. The influence from their father is making them go towards unislamic lifestyle choices . I worry aobut their dunya and akhirah. What does a parent do in this situation when she and her parenting is constantly knocked down by their father . Please send me a reply , I am in such a state of anguish , despair and worry for them. They are a trust from Allah swt ,I want to perform my duty well.

[@charityhartikalistiyani2275]

Love this topic 😍 As a mom that struggle with two young kids how to teach them about islam

[@nmilb1234]

Besides Hold Onto Your kids (alhamdullah I already read but I’ll have to reread), and Parenting from inside out, does Dr. Rothman recommend any other books?

[@ziryabjamal]

The whole brain child is also good

[@hadeeldbaibo7520]

Salam. is there any academic published paper on the topics being discussed and can be used as references?

[@Birdsplant]

Brother kindly make a necessary correction on your slide. In 27:36 of your video you quoted Ali bin Abi Talib when it was the beloved Prophet Mohammed that said in the authentic Bukhari/Muslim hadith: “Play with them for the first seven years (of their life); then teach them for the next seven years; then advise them for the next seven years (and after that).” - Prophet Mohammed (pbuh)

[@sheymam2811]

It’s is not a Hadith sister, it had been passed on by Abdalmalak Ibn Marwan. It is not a verified Hadith as per Sheikh Ibn Baz may Allah have mercy on him.

[@mirzarizwan1408]

dear cambridge muslim college, pls suggest some books on Parenting from islamic prospective and in general .. thanks a lot , jazakallahukhairan

[@ziryabjamal]

Parenting from the inside out

[@tayyabiftikhar4757]

Allah O Akbar

[@ninety85]

Jazaka Allah khiern! Really enjoyed the talk! Much needed subhan'Allah as I'll be a parent in May Insha'Allah. Side note what was the name of the book the Dr recommended at 50mins or so? TiA

[@fey2716]

He shows both books at the end :)

[@devinwood3487]

Assalamu Alaykum. There is a lot of great advice in this video. Would you have advice for step-parents? I’ve grown to really dislike my step-children. Their mother isn’t very involved and their father works a lot and is typically preoccupied when home. Almost all of the child rearing is put onto me, but they do not really care if I am happy with them or not as I’m not their parent. It’s difficult to be patient with them because I find myself really hating being around them at times. It is also difficult because they are poorly behaved and ungrateful. It seems at times they even take pleasure in upsetting me. Despite my own feelings, I try to step in and give them attention but the eldest doesn’t even want it. When their father is preoccupied, I often try to either get his attention for them or give them attention. But they would rather be ignored by their father than have my attention. So it is difficult to build any type of relationship, especially when none of us really want to. In addition, they’ve experienced a lot of trauma. The oldest is more damaged. Because he is 6, I wonder if this can be undone and how? And what should be done when they do something wrong? Neither of them seem to feel bad at all when they’ve intentionally broken something, used foul language, or are hurtful. And my last question is, I often find myself hating them and wishing they would just go away.. how can I have a positive relationship with them? It also may be worth mentioning that at the moment we cannot afford Islamic school or a babysitter.

[@felicityhussain7558]

May Allah make things easy for you and unite your hearts

[@NaNa-cq8ck]

Masha Allah, may Allah bless you just for your humbleness in accepting the fault in yourself and trying to improve for the better for the sake of someone you're not even going to be held responsible for. You're already in the right direction, please hold on to your patience and seek help from Allah for strength, you'll find ease and a clear path out of your difficulties, In sha Allah.

[@a.h5558]

I would say Try to imagine if they were your own born from children and they were doing what they are doing You would have more patience …. And you would look for how to tackle thier problems It’s good of yourself what your trying to do for them but to make it easier remember they are almost orphans , they’ve lost their mother hence they are seeking attention and love But unfortunately it is their own fathers responsibility and more care and live they need from him To make ease …. Help your self by reminding yourself that you are takjng care of them for the sake of Allah and you still half mother since they are your husbands children May Allah make it easily for you and give you strength, energy and patience with the difficulties of raising all of your children as well the your step children One day … when they are mature adults They will thank you and appreciate your support So hold on there

[@Birdsplant]

Very strange...And also please correct your slide 46:55 by removing the false as you said Al-Musannaf hadith AND REPLACE IT WITH the obvious QURANIC COMMAND in surah Luqman "And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination." But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do. QURAN 31:14-15 (ALWAYS CHECK THE FACTS STUDENTS. DO NOT BLINDLY FOLLOW ANY PROFESSOR AS ALLAH INSTRUCTS). Thank you, Professor Rothman.

[@tablighibayans]

bookmark 28:00

[@oraclemedia9266]

Since I did not learn in my childhood reliance on my parents so this link nowadays is also missng and is weak even if it's there when it comes to relying on Allah. Now I a overcome this? Answer: Yes, but it takes time!

[@reshmabegum7277]

Respected sir. Plz tell me how can I pursue my counseling course from Cambridge muslim University. I am masters in psychology. Plz .plz respond

[@CambridgeMuslimCollege]

For information about our online Islamic Psychology Diploma, visit our website! www.cambridgemuslimcollege.ac.uk/programmes/islamicpsychology/

[@reshmabegum7277]

@@CambridgeMuslimCollege thanks a lot

[@mistermaykul]

Check out the YT channel Abraham Education. Has an incredible Parenting Course for Muslim parents in the playlists.

[@Alejandro-te2nt]

This paints a very pretty picture of life in Muslim countries but he’s reality is in many cases not so ideal. I didn’t realize until recently Muslim countries are undermined from the top down and bottom up. Jealous family members doing sihr against you, spreading lies about you, multigenerational vendettas etc. immigrants often come here with the best of hopes for their kids but generations of trauma to process

[@suraiyakasim]

Asalamualaikum wrwb, I have boys ages 17 & 18 , I feel I have missed the boat. How do I make the connection now?

[@Ilovemd-p3f]

First admit it and apologize then small baby steady steps

[@raahilrecordings]

Allah conscious parenting.

[@hmaljutaily]

Great lecture but Change God to Allah

[@MouhcineAlMansouri]

☝️❤️

[@justin-lb5uv]

parenting is needed for the wifes first since they have no clue what being a wife is about.

[@gitoufelnema5340]

What does this mean? So men know how to be husbands by default? Or does parenting responsibility falls under women only?

[@mohammedsaad380]

Here we go 🙂